Red Rain
by Illusive Writings
Summary: Sequel to Over The Hills And Far Away. One year after those events, Anakin starts having dreams about an old friend who's in danger. He decides to go looking for him with his wife and his Master, hoping to bring him back to his daughter and her mother.
1. All I've Got Left

_**Author Note: **__This is the sequel of my story "Over The Hills And Far Away. If you haven't read it, you would not understand much of this, because I introduced new characters, changed some dynamics (my Anakin is good here pals, remember that) and the main storyline will pick up from where I left it. It revolves around an original character I created and a canon one, though he's not so famous. Please, read the other FF before starting this one!

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**Chapter 1 – All I've Got Left**

_It was dark. He could barely see his own hands as he wiped the sweat from his forehead. That chase was taking too long. It wasn't good. He wasn't in such a great shape after so many years into hiding. _

_He gripped the handle of his inactive weapon and sighed. He was too strong. Too fast, too powerful...he couldn't survive that fight. _

"_Damn it and the Whiplash!" he cursed under his breath. His words, though barely whispered, echoed in the small space around him. For a moment, everything laid motionless, then, he felt it. _

_His breath. _

_It was so scary it could freeze lava. And it certainly chilled his blood in his veins. _

_He concentrated and tried to dampen his presence in the Force. If he managed to go unnoticed, maybe he still had a chance to survive and go back to his old affairs. _

_His involvement with the Whiplash movement had only ruined everything. Everything had been just fine for eight years and now his fragile world had been turned upside down. With his job as a private investigator he earned enough to pay the rent of an one-room flat and something to spare for the future. Then he decided to do this foolish thing with that clandestine refugee help group, putting his Jedi training and upbringing to good use, and now, Darth Vader himself was chasing him!_

_Shit!_

_He could feel his presence as he slowly got closer and closer to his hiding place. _

_He tried to focus on anything but the cold feeling of revenge that seethed into his brain. That man had killed most of his friends, past and present. He deserved to die. _

_There were rumors going on about something that had happened about a year before, when something big had happened on Daltarra, a system in the Inner Rim. They said he was present and that a rogue Jedi had almost killed him, that the Imperials had found him under a pile of debris after the Rebel Alliance had bombed an Imperial base, his life support system badly damaged and a gunshot wound to his chest. _

_He knew only a man brave, or stupid, enough to face Darth Vader, the scourge of the galaxy. Anakin Skywalker. _

_His mind went back to the days of their apprenticeship, when they used to make pranks on the other Padawans and sometimes to their Masters. They had made many stupid things in their life, but they had proved their worth during the wars and those who used to say they were good at nothing took their own words back. They had never fought on the same battlefield, but among the Jedi ranks they were both well known. Anakin for his incredible battle skills, him for his ability to elaborate strategies and decoy to fool the enemy army. _

_As his mind drifted back into memories, he heard Vader's steps getting closer and closer. _

_He took a deep breath and went back to his exercise. It was something he hadn't practiced in probably twenty five years, but he still remembered the teachings of Master Yoda, when he taught his class of younlings how to conceal themselves from the Force. It was easier than what he remembered, even if he had been told that was the kind of exercise that becomes harder and harder as you grow up. Now, as thrity four old man, he found it easier. _

_Necessity sharps your ability, they said. _

_And in that moment, in that very moment, he really needed that kind of ability to save his ass. _

_His mind wandered back to a particular Jedi...a girl he had known since he had landed in the Temple. One of his best friends, along with Anakin and her brother Darrick. A girl he had always admired for her passion and dedication to her training. The best bodyguard anyone could want. She had been taught to be a deadly observer, she could sense danger a mile away. Aleha Kohr was definitely a great Jedi. And gradually, he had found himself admiring her not only for her strong connection with the Force, something he lacked, for her skills as a sword master, or her ability to protect people better than anyone else, but also because she had grown as a beautiful and sweet woman, such a caring spirit that she could befriend anyone. She was naturally empathic, she could relate to everyone and she always saw the good in anyone yet her dedication to the Order was relentless. And slowly, that admiration became something deeper that rooted in his heart as years passed. _

_It took him years to realize he loved her with all his might. And no matter how much he had tried to stay faithful to the oath he had made the day he had been Knighted, that feeling had filled him completely and undeniably. _

_He had lived in denial for years. He had denied, denied and denied to himself and others his true feelings for her. Still, even after the proclamation of the Empire and the Great Jedi Purge, he hadn't forgot her, though he though she had been killed. He brought her memory with him and hoped one day to be with her again, once he would join the others in the Force. _

_His hopes made him go on. Until one day, they shattered in one million pieces and were replaced by much happier thoughts and hopes. _

_She was alive. _

_They had met again six years before on Felucia. She was picking up a Force Sensitive orphan to train as a Jedi and he was following a lead on a case he had accepted a couple of weeks before. And after too many drinks, she revealed she was well aware of his feelings and she had always wanted to tell him that she loved him back, but didn't find the courage to admit her feelings for him. _

_It was useless to say that they had both given up to passion in that torrid night and...well...if their Master could know about it, they wouldn't be pleased. Sex was something that a Jedi had to shun. There were many young Knights that voluntary ignore that rule, and in the end they had joined their ranks. _

_And that had led only to troubles. Aleha had to run away with the kid, bring him somewhere safe, and he had to follow his lead but deep in their hearts, none of them wanted to be separated again. But circumstances weren't in their favor that day. _

_About two weeks after they had met, an Imperial Inquisitor decided it was time to blow their plans up. He was still following his lead on Felucia while Aleha had gone away to secure the kid. They had an appointment on New Ator the next week and there decide what to do but with that Inquisitors looking for him, he decided it was better to not show up at the meeting. He couldn't allow them to hurt her in order to drag him out of hiding. As long as they didn't know she existed, she was safe. Apparently, Vader had decided to track him down for good and find him fast. He was concentrating all his power in finding him and he would have stopped only when he would have died. _

_That meant that the Inquisitors would never stop chasing him anywhere and if he stayed with Aleha, her chances to survive would be dim. He could handle them, and of course she could too but he knew that he would not be able to confront them if she had been with him. _

_He couldn't risk her life. _

_Therefore, he disappeared again, changed appearance and retreated in the underworld of Coruscant still as a private detective. _

_Her memory was all he got left._

_Then the Whiplash movement arrived in his life. _

_It was a clandestine association that worked to take refugees out of Coruscant and give them a new life somewhere in the Galaxy. _

_Their mission had profoundly touched him and reminded him his mission as a Jedi knight that he dropped his job and joined their ranks. _

_It worked fine for a while, until the Battle in the Imperial Security Bureau. _

_Practically, until barely half an hour before. _

_It started out as a rescue mission and turned out to be a mess. Pure, simple havoc. They had been deceived and betrayed and now they had scattered around the building trying to escape Vader's fury. _

_He stood there, breathing slowly, as he waited for Vader to arrive. _

_He could feel him as much as he heard his heavy steps outside the door. He had hidden in a storage closet, the only door he had found open and remained there for he didn't know how long. His palms were sweaty as he gripped his lightsaber and waited. _

_The wait was killing him. It was worse than facing him. _

_He closed his eyes for a moment as he heard his harsh metallic breath. We was walking just outside the door. He held his breath and he waited for him to pass. _

_Luck didn't help him that time. _

_The door opened and Vader's towering silhouette stood in front of him._

"_Shit!" he groaned as he pushed the button of this lightsaber, igniting the blade. He made to hit Vader but then slashed on the left and caught him off guard, making him step aside enough so he could get out of the storage room. _

"_Now, would you please hand me that damned crystal?" said Vader as cold as ice. _

_He meant the Pyronium crystal that Anakin once had given him as a gift when they were both Padawans. He knew why Vader wanted it and he couldn't allow him to get his mechanic hands on that shard of metal. That would make him ever more powerful than what he already was. _

_He felt a cold drop of sweat trickle down his spine as he thought of the consequences. That shard held a very sentimental value to him, and he wouldn't let got of it so easy, but knowing that it could absorb electromagnetic energy to almost limitless amount and that Vader wanted to make a new weapon out of it, well, the fallen Jedi would have to pry it out of his dead hand to get it. _

"_Like hell I will!" he growled as he let the Force flow through him. "Not a chance. You have to fight to have it!"_

_Vader shook his head. If he wanted to fight, he would have fought, that was sure. That crystal was too important to him. "Then fight, but I tell you, if you let go of it, you can walk out of here safe and sound. I will spare your life."_

_Like hell..._

"_Come and get it Vader..."_

_He would have sighed if his life support system would have allowed it. "As you wish."_

I woke up suddenly, partially sitting up straight.

That was strange.

It had been months since I had dreamed something so real. And so terrifying to say the least.

It wasn't a nightmare, it was more a vision of an event. And I didn't like it.

I laid back on the bed and sighed. Fortunately I hadn't woken Padmè, she laid on her side towards the center of the bed, sleeping peacefully. Thank the Force for that.

I wiped away the sweat from my forehead and glanced at the clock on the nightstand. Five minutes and I would have had to get up and prepare to return in my room. Great timing, at least that.

Slowly, I sat up straight on the bed and grabbed my pants from the floor beside me. Time to get out of bed!

But that dream kept me thinking. What the heck did that mean?

I sighed again and looked up at the ceiling. "Jax, what the hell have you done?"

* * *

_Wookiepedia I love you. Except for the part regarding Aleha, what happened is real. I just shortened it. _

_So, I'm back! Less than 24 hours ago I finished Over The Hills And Far Away, now I post the first chapter, a sort of prologue, of the sequel, Red Rain. This time Peter Gabriel had to give me the inspiration for the title. _

_Hope you liked it. More will come in a week or so._

_Have fun and may the Force be with you!_


	2. Doing What I Should

**Chapter 2 – Doing What I Should**

"You know...we should find another way to meet during the day. This is getting weird." I said pulling my pants up.

"I know." Padmè replied as she tried to arrange her clothes and hair. "Still this is the best way. I can't think of anything else!"

I sighed. "Padmè, really, I'm tired of clandestine meetings in storage rooms during lunch pause! I don't mind the quicky but..."

Smiling, she pulled me down for a kiss. "Neither I. And I told you, I've tried to find another way but..."

I sighed again. "I know. The base has rules for unmarried couples. And we decided to stick to them."

I placed my hands on her shoulders. "Padmè, it's been a year. I signed my own death certificate three hundred and seventy four days ago. I counted them. Don't you think they could accept that after a whole year you found another man to be with?"

"Anakin, we've been having this conversation how many times?" she asked sitting on a box of spare parts.

I sat beside her and leaned my elbows on my legs. "I don't know. Probably every day for the past two weeks."

"Exactly. And what have I been telling you each day for the past two weeks?"

"That you've been loyal to Anakin Skywalker for eight years and it would be strange if you decided to be with another man after only one year your husband has died." I answered, quoting her very words.

"Good. Do you have any idea?" she asked then.

I shook my head. "Not exactly. I've tried to find a way to get out of this situation but..."

"Anakin, we can always move out of this base and live somewhere else. There are places where rules are not so strict. Like Yavin!"

"No, not Yavin." I snapped, startling her. "Anywhere, even Korriban, but not Yavin!"

I stood up and started pacing in up and down the small space. No, not Yavin. Too many bad memories there. I swore to myself that if I could I would never return to that place.

Even in that moment, after eleven years, thinking about that place made my skin crawl in disgust. In self-disgust, actually. Those memories still haunted me from time to time. They weren't the worst ones, but still it wasn't something I was proud of.

"Why Anakin?" she asked, quietly though. She didn't give into my own anger. "Why do you want to avoid that place like it is the personification of death itself?"

I had never told her what had happened. It scared me as much as that dream I had that night I had got drunk on Dxun. And I had never told her about it either. I didn't even what to think about it myself!

"It's...I don't really want to talk about it."

I tried to shove those terrible images out of my mind but failed miserably, and I sat down again beside her. She didn't say a word for long moments, always caring and understanding. She had come to know that when I'm upset by anything I just need a couple of minutes to calm down then I'm ready to talk about it. She put her hand on my shoulder and waited.

"Anakin, I'm not taking that as an answer. You're upset and I want to know what happened there! Now!" she replied sternly. She was adamant when it came to that kind of stuff.

"What happened there?" she asked after some long, silent minutes.

Probably it was time to do it and confess one of my many steps I had taken towards the Dark Side of the Force. After all, we had promised to be always sincere to one another. I glanced at my watch. We still had half an hour before we had to get back to our jobs.

"It was during the war. Just before I got knighted. You remember Ventress? Dooku's apprentice?"

She nodded. "Yes, I do. She was mentioned in many reports from the front. You told me you battled her a couple of times and she you got that scar because of her."

"Yes. But that was later. About..." I tried to remember when it had happened exactly. "A year before that, no wait...maybe a couple of months more. Well, we met again during a space battle in open space and when she fled I followed her going against Obi-Wan's orders. He had asked me to stay with him and finish the space battle but I followed her. To Yavin. She managed to trick me and she almost killed me. Fortunately, I managed to get out of my ship before I could get hurt." I slowly told, trying to find the right words.

"You mean when you lost the Azure Angel?"

"That very day!"

She sighed. "Too bad. That ship was a masterpiece."

She managed to tear a smile out of me, even in that moment. And she was right, that ship was incredible. The whole X-Wing engine and armaments were based on that peculiar specimen and look what they could do? Best starfighter ever! Anyway, let's go back to our business.

"And I named it after you! Anyway, we fought for...I don't really know, it could have been minutes or hours, I can't remember. It was harsh, brutal probably. She was doing everything she could to trick me and kill me but somehow I was holding my own. But I was angry. She had dragged me into a trap, destroyed my ship and was trying to kill me. I think that after that night on Tatooine, that was another huge leap towards the Dark Side. I don't know what happened, I just know that I felt the anger, not the Force, fighting with me. And all of this happened at the Massassi Temple Complex, right where the Rebellion built the base." I told her.

She laid her head on my shoulder, sympathetically. "You have your good reasons if you don't want to go back there."

"I don't have good memories about that place. And even if we could build new, better ones...still I would be haunted by that presence. That day I was so sure I could kill her that I let completely go to...I don't know it felt like a presence, right beside me, but it was like me! It was another me, like a reflexion and I don't like what I saw in that image." I took a deep breath and tried to calm down a bit. It was still as unnerving as it was years before. Those memories were still unsettling and it really hurt to think about it again. Even after almost eleven years. "I don't really want to think about what happened that night every day of my life. If I lived there, it would..."

"Stop it Anakin, I understand, really!" she said. "Yavin it's not a place for you. I understand and I really appreciated you told me about what happened that day."

"You're not angry?" I asked pulling back my hair from my face.

She shrugged her shoulders. "Why would I need to be angry?" she replied. "You've been sincere, and that's something I really love about you. But there's something I don't really like about this."

"What?"

She grabbed the hem of my shirt and dragged me down to another kiss. And it wasn't one of those normal kisses. It was a steamy one. Her arms sneaked around my neck and she leaned back on the box. "I ruined the whole after-sex moment, didn't I?"

"You can still do something about it!" she grinned playfully.

"And I definitely want to do something!"

_Fast forward do something I can actually tell you without risking to be killed by my own wife..._

"Damn it! I'll be late for the kids' training!" I said trying to fasten my shirt as quickly as I could.

"And I'll be late for the afternoon meeting! You should really stop being so good at sex!" she zipped her jacket then tied her hair in a tight ponytail. She didn't have the time to comb them and that was the best solution.

"You should stop teasing me like that!" I replied. "You know what effect you have on me!" I tucked my shirt back in my pants then headed for the door. I was almost presentable. Almost. My hair was an indescribable mess, I was sweaty and locks of hair stuck to my face as if they were glued. Anyone could tell that I hadn't spent my lunch break eating. I actually had totally forgot the small bag with a couple of sandwiches and a bottle of water.

"We're explosive, alright, I know. Anyone out there?"

I opened the door and checked. "Nope. You go first. I still have a minute or two before I have to be downstairs." I said. "And I still have to eat my lunch." I grabbed the small bag and took out one of the sandwiches. "You didn't leave me much time to eat!" I said taking a big bite of it. It wasn't bad, just a bit hard to chew on. Usual stuff, I had grown accustomed to that kind of stuff.

"Good. Try not to choke on that please!" she said smiling before turning to the door. "I'm going. See you later!"

I nodded and swallowed. "See you later. I'll probably have to talk to Obi-Wan about a couple of things but I'll be off definitely before dinner."

"I should be free by six...anyway I wanted to talk to you tonight."

"About what?"

"Nothing, I mean, it's nothing important, it can wait. Now I really have to go. I love you!" she said opening the door.

"Love you too!"

She was gone.

That was our usual lunch break. For a whole year, that was our daily meeting time. One of the few moments we could actually consider ourselves as husband and wife, not just Padmè Naberrie and Atton Rosh, two complete strangers to one another.

It wasn't easy. We had to cut bits and seconds only for ourselves during the day, our kids had to pretend they didn't know their father...

Yep, it was hard.

But it was working.

Someways.

I swallowed the last bite of the sandwich and got out of the storage room. As I walked towards the service staircase to the main training level, where Aleha and Obi-Wan were training the younglings, I emptied the bottle and thought about the last two weeks.

For a whole year that situation worked fine for me. Then I had that dream about Jax confronting Vader. And that accommodation didn't work anymore, at least for me.

That dream left me rather upset. Jax was a friend, and after that night, every time I saw Aleha and Hilean, which meant everyday, I couldn't stop talking about the fact that I was finally happy, that I had my wife and kids back with me and...well, they didn't. Aleha was suffering, I knew it. And I knew what she was going through because I had gone through the same feelings. She missed Jax and she had to lie to her own daughter and tell her dad was dead. It wasn't fair.

At all. This whole situation wasn't fair, and it wasn't even right.

I mean, what the heck, we had fought to get where we were now and fuck those stupid rules! I just wanted to be with my wife. And see one of my best friends as happy as I was now.

Practically I dragged myself to the training level and as I entered the room I surveyed the area. Twenty three kids, sixteen younlings and seven padawans, Luke and Leia included. I had to clean my mind of every kind of bad feeling before I started working with them or the whole purpose of being there.

Well, those four hours weren't bad. At all. We were having fun, much more fun than when I was doing the same things back at the Temple. Aleha was a great teacher and she seldom needed our help if not as examples or surveillance during group exercises. It was an easy job in the end, much easier than what I had thought it would be a year before.

And it gave me the chance to grow up myself. I was unlearning some things and learning many more and that was my school.

Anyway, if during the other afternoons I had managed to clear my mind, that day I couldn't. And Obi-Wan noticed it. I was watching the kids as they were doing their saber training, leaning on the wall, my arms crossed at my chest, but I wasn't really watching them. I mean, I was actually watching over them but my mind was completely elsewhere.

He slowly walked towards me and leaned himself against the wall.

"Something is bothering you." he said. It wasn't a question. He had learned that when I was in those conditions, well, there was no need to ask. Something was bothering me. For good.

"Yes Master." I replied. "Something is bothering me."

"Want to talk about it?" he asked. It was the first time he asked what was actually going through my mind, every other time he just told me to relax and not to worry. It didn't work that good.

"I..." I started but it took come a moment to form a coherent sentence. "A couple of weeks ago I had a dream. A vision, actually. Jax was confronting Vader."

He said nothing, just kept listening, his eyes stuck to the kids in front of us.

"He...he was scared but he was holding his own. Vader was looking for the Pyronium crystal I gave him years ago. I don't know why he wanted it."

"Is he alive?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I woke up before the end of the fight but I have the feeling Jax managed to survive. He was determined not to let Vader have that crystal."

"Which is not bad. Being determined is always a good thing. How many times did you see it?"

"Only once, two weeks ago. It's just that I can't get it out of my mind."

He sighed. "Guess you are used to the feeling."

I nodded. "Yes I am but...you know...It was only a one-time dream, not a recurring one, fortunately. If I didn't see Aleha and most of all Hilean every day, I wouldn't even think about it anymore but..."

"I know. It's not easy."

"I feel guilty, that's the problem. I know exactly what she's going through and I can't do anything to stop it. She helped me when I was depressed and I feel I owe her a lot but...I don't really know what to do."

He shook his head. "You don't have to feel guilty at all Anakin. Aleha is fine, she knows what she'll have to face and she's prepared for it. What about you? Are you ready to face it?"

I nodded. "Yes. I mean, I don't know. I'm ready to face anything that will come up but...I really care for her and it just doesn't feel right that I'm happy and she is not."

He chuckled. "Are you really happy?" he asked then.

I turned and faced him. "Of course I am, why do you ask?"

"Anakin, let's face it. You and Padmè chose a difficult path, again, not to mention that this time you had to involve your children in this crazy situation and...well I still can't believe you really feel ok about it. You fought for ten years to be with your wife and now other rules cross your path again and you are ok with it?"

I shook my head. "No Master, I'm not ok with that. I just came to terms with it. I can stand it, I do stand it for the sake of my family and my sanity but...No, I'm not ok with it. I'm doing what I should, not what I would want to do. That's the difference. Actually I'm trying to find a way to bend the rules a bit more without breaking them but it's not easy. At all"

"If you bend them a little more, you'll break them. And I don't know what will happen." he replied. "Rules about unmarried couples here a very strict and it's rather strange because on other bases they are very loose about it. You choose the wrong base to live." he joked for a moment.

"Aleha decided to keep the kids here. And the twins need the contact with other children, it makes them grow better and stronger. If they learn how to make friendships since this age, their future will be easier."

He nodded. "Wise decision. So, it means you decided to stay here mostly because of them?"

I nodded back. "Mostly. And because the main air force research center is here. And the main piloting training grounds too. Ahsoka might need my help some time in the future, I don't know. And I'm willing to take the risk of being caught. After all, the punishment cannot be that harsh, not to mention that I'm going out with one of the founders of the Rebellion!"

"And that gives you a certain advantage, doesn't it?"

After that, the afternoon flew by and in no time it was already six and the kids were exhausted. And the teachers too. You can't even imagine how tiring it is. Six hours in the workshop and four with the kids. In the end of the day I was always completely worn out. Add the fact that I didn't sleep much in that period...

Anyway, I escorted some of the kids to their quarters then with the excuse of taking the twins in their apartment, as usual, we headed towards what they called home. They carefully maintained a certain distance between us as they knew about our plans until we got into the apartment. There, they practically jumped over me, forcing me to hold them up in my arms as I walked to the couch and sat down.

Padmè was in our bedroom and quickly joined us as the twins tried to drag me into a tickling fight but I was having a rather hard time trying to get hold of both of them. They were sneaky, little cheaters, I tell you.

"Hey, how was your day?" asked Padmè as she closed the door behind her.

I tried to pry my arm free from Luke's grasp but didn't succeed, so I laid back on the couch and smiled. "Fine. These two are getting better with hand-to-hand combat though." I joked as Leia climbed on my back and forced me to lean forward.

"I see that. If they can match you..."

I managed to look up at her and chuckled. I was holding back, and they all knew it. But with the kids, it was just fun as hell!

"Let's see who's a match for who!" I replied standing up and pulling both of them up. Struggling a bit to pry their grips open, I managed to pull them both in front of me holding them by their ankles. They squirmed and laughed like mad before I let them stand up straight. "Get a grip squids, or you'll fall asleep before dinner!"

They nodded and hugged their mother for a moment before go in their room and change clothes.

I sat back on the couch and sighed. "Wow, today it was a rather busy day."

Padmè sat beside me. "Don't tell me. Antilles keeps pushing for a new attack and we still have to find enough money for those new X-Wing we need!"

"He can be dumb when he wants to." I replied. "Anyway...you wanted to tell me something this afternoon. What was it?"

She took something out of her pocket. The keys of the Lake Region house. She caught immediately my attention. "We need a vacation." she started. "Both of us, and the kids too. You've been under an incredible amount of pressure and I still can't believe you held on so long. I've already taken care of everything. I've talked to Obi-Wan and Aleha and they agree with me. We need some time off. My parents won't use the house for the next month so we have roughly three weeks for us."

By the Force, I loved that woman. Well, I still love her, but in that moment...heck, she had the best idea ever after the guy that invented dry rations.

I took the keys from her hand and smiled. "You know...I think it's the best idea you could have in this moment!" I replied. "When are we leaving?"

"Next week. Everything is arranged. Your shifts are covered, the twins come with us and we have a ship all for us. I told you, I've taken care of everything. It will be a nice time only for our family, unlike the last year. We just have to hold on until next week. Do you think you can hold that long?"

I nodded. "Of course I can! I resisted for a whole year, one more week can't do too much damage!"

"Good, because I'm really looking forward for it!"

"Don't tell me..." I leaned over and kissed her just in time for the twins to get out of their room.

"Oh please! That's gross!" yelled Luke as they both covered their eyes with their hands.

You know, usual family stuff. That was our freaky routine.

The only problem was the fact that everything was about to get the fuck out of the window!

* * *

_Alright, second chapter here. Hope you liked it! You know, probably the first five...six chapters will be pretty much introducing the story before I get started with the real action, I just want to get it right, you know, I don't want to haste the story...It might take some time but the real action will start at some point. And the villain, better, the villains are gonna be as cruel as Vader, maybe more. _

_Anyway, yesterday I read something on Twitter that gave me the idea for an one shot. I know I already said something like it months ago and that one shot never happened to be written, I mean, I have the file, I'm about halfway through it but I can't find the time and the words to complete it, but this time it's for real. That one shot is coming and I hope I can get something good out of this idea. If there's a character of the Expanded Universe that intrigues me is Jaina Solo. And someone at the Star Wars Books twitter account gave me a freaking epic Idea of Jaina confronting Vader, I don't know why it got this effect one me but I have to write it! _

_Oh, I almost forgot, thanks for the amazing response for Red Rain, I really couldn't imagine it. It was the greatest birthday gift I received! Lova ya_

_See ya! _


	3. All The Secrets Told

**Chapter 3 – All The Secrets Told**

You know when you know perfectly well that the day you're going to face is gonna be one of those days you wish you had never woken up?

That was one of those days.

It had started bad and ended even worse.

It was two days before our planned vacation, we were all excited to get out of the base for a while and we weren't paying too much attention to what was going on around, we just tried to follow our plan but I have to admit we both had lowered our defenses during those days.

Anyway, the alarm clock that morning signed the start of the countdown to hell. Its high-pitched chirping yanked me out of my sleep in such a violent way that I almost jumped up on the bed. It was four thirty in the morning and I had fallen asleep probably only two hours before. By reflection I threw my hand on the clock and turned it off for the next ten minutes. I wanted to prolong that moment as long as I could, even if I had a very tiny window of time to return in my dorm room with the other guys. It just felt too good, laying there, it was warm, Padmè was sleeping beside me...

It was my daily minute of heaven, and I wanted to enjoy it as long as I could.

"Anakin, get up." whispered Padmè at some point, not twenty seconds after the alarm had set off.

"Give me a minute..." I groaned in reply, burying my face in her long hair. Damn, I loved the scent of her shampoo...it always brought back so many wonderful memories! Anyway...

"Get out of this bed now!" she said jokingly. "You don't have much time to get in your room!"

"I know I know!" I replied, a bit annoyed. "It just feels so good in here!"

"It will feel better in a couple of days. Come on, get out of here now before I do something stupid!"

Drowsily I sat up and rubbed my face to wake up a little bit. "Something stupid like what?" I asked while I went looking for my clothes. "Like that afternoon in the conference room, when you were flirting with me during the air force meeting?"

"If you call that flirting...yeah, something like that." she replied rolling on her side and looking at me. "I wish we could stop this."

I shook my head as I buckled up my boots. "Don't tell me."

"We'll find a way. Now go, before they make the last surveillance round!"

"I'm going." I leaned on the bed and kissed her briefly. "I love you..."

Then I ran out of the room and the apartment. I stopped there for a moment and looked around. It seemed no one was around so I headed towards my dorm room, yawning and wobbling a bit. I was tired, I hadn't slept much in the last few weeks and it was taking its toll on me. I was really looking forward to pull the plug for three weeks and just relax there on Naboo. Beautiful landscapes, hopefully warm, summer weather...yeah, it would be incredibly fun and corroborating.

But life never goes as you want it to go.

"What you're doing is prohibited, you know that?"

I immediately froze on my tracks. I turned around and saw one of the guards leaned on the wall of the hallway, in one of the dark corners.

"What am I doing?" I asked then, trying to play it cool.

"You have a clandestine relationship with that Senator." he said. "It's against the rules of the base, you know that?"

"Do you have any evidence of that?" I crossed my arms at my chest. I was getting angry.

"You've been going up and down the hallway at regular hours since I was put on the night guard shift. I don't have physical evidences, but I think Colonel Antilles will appreciate what I will tell him."

"And what will you tell him? That you've seen a Jedi getting out of Senator Amidala's apartment?" I asked. "Do you think he's going to believe you?"

"Why not?" he replied. "He's at least going to consider it. The rules are strict on this base and he's a control freak. And he doesn't like the way that Senator is keeping military actions tightly on a leash. This is going to be fun!"

I walked towards him, grabbed the hem of his uniform and dragged him out of his dark, safe corner. I recognized him immediately. He was one of those who had tried the flying course last year but failed and became a simple guard in the base. He was a frustrated little no-one who wanted to show off with the officers.

"Listen now, I don't want to make a mess here and now, at this early hour. I just want to get to my room and sleep because I have a very full day tomorrow. What's going on behind that wall it's none of your business. And if you go to Antilles and tell him what you saw, you're just going to regret it. Clear?" I tried to sound as threatening as I could but I had lost my touch.

He chuckled and stepped back, prying my already loose grip open and setting himself free. "Who do you think you are?" he sneered. "Just because you can do tricks and can wield a lightsaber doesn't make you special. Here you must follow the rules as I must, therefor, as soon as Colonel Antilles is available, I'm going to report this. You're screwed Rosh, you and your Senator."

I was furious, to say the least. That envious bastard was going to ruin everything and I couldn't do anything legal to stop him. He was right in the end. Fuck!

"Don't pull too much the rope. I might be a Jedi, but I'm not a normal one. I tend to get angry, and quite a lot! Think about what you wanna do carefully, because I know ways to kill people you cannot even imagine. And they are painful. Long and disastrously painful." I told him in the most menacing tone I could muster. "And I can make it look like it was an accident."

With that said, I turned around and walked towards my room. Of course I didn't have the intention to kill him, but...you know...sometimes it works.

But I was sure this time I wouldn't be that easy to persuade him.

As I entered in my dorm room, as silent as I could be, I could only imagine what would have happened in the morning. I wished someone was awake but no such luck, everyone was sleeping like a rock, Obi-Wan included. I could feel a splitting headache forming right behind my eyes so I decided to lay down a bit and try to get some sleep. I had about two hours before the wake up call and I would have loved to spend them sleeping but again, luck didn't help me.

I just laid there in my bunk, staring into nothing, trying to make up a story that could hold on enough to justify what that guard was claiming. Which was real actually but...

I had to warn Padmè, but when I looked at my wristwatch it was too late. Only two minutes before everyone would wake up. I didn't have time, so I just took out my comlink, one of those with the text messaging feature, from my jacket pocket and typed a short text message.

_Busted. A guard saw me. Expect a call from Antilles. Sorry..._

It wasn't much but she would understand and would be prepared for it. Not the best way to tell her but, heck, I just couldn't get out of there and knock on her door like it was nothing!

Her reply didn't come much later. The others were already waking up when the comlink chirped softly signaling the incoming message.

_What happened?_

Yeah, like I knew it. I wished I had a good answer for that instead of the simple: _I don't know. He just confronted me while I was going back to my room. _I typed back.

Obi-Wan at that point was wide awake and getting dressed. He must have noticed the dismayed look on my face because he sat on his bunk bed, right in front of me. "Everything alright? You're up early!"

I shook my head. "No Master, someone saw me earlier and is going to report it to Antilles." I answered. "I was just telling Padmè so she would be prepared in case he called her for a meeting or what."

"Don't worry. Punishment it's not that harsh. You'll both get away with it easily."

"The problem is that Antilles can't stand me and Padmè alike. I always mess up his plans and Padmè keeps a tight leash on him and his plans for attacks against the Empire!"

"He's only one Anakin," said Dakk from the bathroom. "And these kind of decisions are taken by at least five people of the high ranking officers. You should be fine!"

I knew they were telling me this only to cheer me up, that they didn't believe it themselves. My contrasts with Antilles and the other high ranks were common knowledge and everyone in the base and even outside knew that Padmè was married to Anakin Skywalker and that made her practically untouchable. His name instantly brought up the memory of a great warrior that sacrificed himself for the Republic and ultimately for the Rebellion...somehow, she was the only woman you weren't allowed to fall in love with.

I had a really bad feeling about it.

A feeling that became certainty as soon as I set foot in the refectory for breakfast. Antilles was there, with a couple of other officers, can't remember their names though.

"Lieutenant Rosh, you come with us."

I sighed and I felt as a ton of durasteel had been dropped on my neck. "Yes sir." I meekly replied and followed them. Obi-Wan silently came with us. We were in the elevator when I heard his comlink going off. It was Darrick. He had heard about...well, about me and Padmè and he was a bit worried. He said he and Aleha were coming to Antilles' office, Aleha had been ordered to escort Padmè there. It just got better and better by the moment.

When we arrived, Antilles opened the door and showed me in. Darrick, Aleha and Padmè were already there, talking. Ahsoka arrived a moment later. Everyone was in there in the end. As soon as I set foot in there though, an eerie silence filled the room, an incredibly awkward silence.

He politely offered chairs for everyone but Padmè and I gently refused and decided to stand.

"Reymus, why did you call us up here?" asked Padmè when the five officers had sat on their chairs and Antilles had taken his place behind his desk.

"I have received a rather interesting report on tonight guard shift in the main dormitories. It says that you..." and he pointed at me. "have been sneaking in and out your..." and he pointed at Padmè. "apartment for something like two months. What do you have to say?"

We exchanged a worried look and I let her speak. I was about to burst out, it was better if she handled the talking. "Absolutely nothing, just that your source is making up things." she said, as cold as a stone.

"And he said you threatened him early this morning."

Padmè threw me a rather upset look. It wasn't a threat, it was more an attempted menace...I didn't really mean it!

"Sir, I can explain, I..."

"No need Rosh. I already know what you're about to say. You just wanted to hide your relationship and whatever, you didn't mean to hurt anyone and that you weren't thinking when you threatened him." he said, before he stood up and leaned on his desk. "But, unfortunately, you threatened and that's not something I can just leg to by and forget about."

"Reymus, you're making a mess out of nothing! He didn't want to hurt anyone!" started Padmè trying to defend me.

He sat down again. "Senator, please, don't defend him just because you have an affair with him. I'm not dumb!"

An affair? What the hell was he thinking?

"Excuse me Colonel but..."

"Don't interrupt me Rosh!" he snapped. "You're in trouble and I don't want your trivial apologize now. You broke the rules and you must be punished for it."

"That's a stupid rule Reymus!" interjected Aleha from behind us.

"This is a military base Master Kohr." started one of the other officers. "We must keep discipline tight, and he is part of the army, therefor this rule applies to him too. Only married couples are permitted and you're not married!"

Fucking, stupid, useless rules. "What? This is not a military base anymore. You decided to move the army six months ago and we just train the pilots here, then you dispatch them around the galaxy! This is not a military base, there's no army here!" I snapped again. "And, yeah, we're not married!"

"So you admit you have an affair?" asked Antilles. I was about to shove him against the wall. I knew he couldn't stand me, and I returned the feeling, but describing our relationship like a simple affair, excuse me but it got my blood boiling with anger. He didn't have the rights to regard any kind of relationship in that base, because we weren't the only clandestine couple in there, as a simple affair.

I grabbed the back of a chair and gripped it tightly, trying to calm down.

"I wouldn't call it an affair but yes, we have a special relationship." said Padmè for me.

"Since?" asked another officer.

"It's none of your damn business!" I spat out bitterly.

"Lieutenant Rosh, watch your mouth and answer that question!"

Fortunately she did for me. "Six months."

"When did you meet?"

My grip on the metallic structure of the chair tightened. I was a step away from explode and I could feel Obi-Wan, Aleha and Darrick behind me bracing themselves just in case they had to hold me back from killing Antilles with my bare hands.

"Right after Daltarra. He's one of my children' Jedi Master."

For a second I wanted to correct her when she said "her children" and say "ours" but fortunately I bit it back.

"I thought they were studying with Master Kenobi." said one of the officers beside Antilles.

"I thought they would learn faster and better if they had the chance to confront other children of their age and training." he said from behind us. "It was a standard procedure before the fall of the Order."

"I see." Antilles seemed to think for a moment. "Well...standard fee for breaking the conduct code would be moving one of the interested parties to another occupation but I think we need something a bit more radical. I can't charge any accuse on you Senator, but Lieutenant Rosh has been accused of threatening a colleague therefor I will have to reduce his ranks and suspend him from active duty and service up to a new advice."

"WHAT?" everyone in the room, other officers included, asked in pure disbelief. I could stand the ranking stuff, I couldn't give a damn to be called Lieutenant or Pilot, but the suspension from active duty? That meant no more workshop, piloting training with Ahsoka and in case they decided to start another attack I was screwed. Stuck to land duty, like that fucktard that had reported me.

That was personal vengeance. I knew it. Antilles couldn't endure me since the day Darrick had revealed I was a Jedi and that I had a bounty on my head. He wasn't too fond of those who were wanted, most of all those who were "wanted dead or alive"!

"You heard me. You are banned from active duty until I say otherwise. During the last year I let go by too many things around here and it's time to start some discipline in this base. People are getting sloppy and lazy."

"Excuse me Colonel but does that mean that he can't help me with the piloting course?" asked Ahsoka standing up.

"Most of all he's forbidden to teach with you, Master Tano. Master Rosh here is a very troubling person, he's being teaching wrong things about piloting to our new recruits. Some of his so called tricks tend to create havoc in the formations."

"Those tricks brought home more asses than your so called discipline!" I burst. "Those so called tricks saved so many lives that you can't even imagine! Many clone pilots owe their lives to those tricks, many Jedi and many civilians too. Not to mentions those who learned those tricks before Daltarra and returned safe and sound in their ship!"

He was a civilian pilot, for the Force's sake, he couldn't understand those tricks. He had never seen a real battle, he stood behind a desk and gave directions...probably he had never fired a single shot!

"I don't really care. I want discipline in my troops, not anarchy! And your behavior, your actions and conduct are only source for a bad example. From now on, here on Dantooine, rules will be respected, and we will start right now. Sergeant Rosh you're now officially suspended."

At that point, I was totally on fire. It had been ages since I had felt that kind and amount of anger...he had just crossed the line. Too bad it was also my fault. We had decided to stick to the rules and that was the result.

"You can't suspend him like this!" interjected Padmè. "He's our best pilot and one of our best engineers! He's the one who designed my husband's starfighter during the war! He would be a wasted talent if you keep him away from his duties."

"Senator, please, I already told you. We can't let this kind of things happen anymore. I don't really care if he's dating one of the founders. I can't do anything with you, but he is under my responsibility. Then, he's suspended."

"Reymus..." but I stopped her.

"Alright. You can suspend me. I don't really give a damn about it. But let me tell you something. You're gonna regret this. And soon!"

"I don't think so. You're a problem for us and I really hope you think about what you've done during this time!" replied Antilles.

"What I have done? Let me get this straight...I fell in love with a woman. A woman who's legally a widow, as I am, and who has all the rights to start living again after her husband died. When I met her she was devastated. We were both actually because her husband was a close friend of mine and my heart ached every time I saw her children down in the training room, at the thought they would never met their father. That brought us close and damn it we fell in love! How can anyone be punished for that? You're punishing me because you can't tolerate my presence, and the piloting trick or threatening stuff is only a pathetic excuse to get me out of your life!" I said bitterly. "Yeah, you can suspend me, I don't care, but down there in the workshop, or up in the piloting training area, they're gonna miss me. And they will turn to you when there will be no one capable to repair one of the flight simulators or a broken hyperdrive, then you'll realize your mistake."

He stared at me for endless seconds before replying.

"You really think you're essential for the Alliance? And please, tell me, why do you think we wouldn't survive without you?"

"I don't think I am essential, I know I am essential! And I am because when you moved the army and half of the pilots you moved many mechanics and engineers, like half of the Dxun squad, and except for me, in the workshop there's no one who knows how to repair a broken hyperdrive! And the other day we discovered that there are only two men able to repair a broken flight simulator, and that's me and Master Tano! But she's not available all the time! She can't be it two places at the same time!"

"We can find someone else."

"I doubt it." I whispered.

At that point Padmè put her hand on my shoulder and tried to drag me away. "Atton, come on..."

"No Padmè...it's a matter between us." I stopped her, gently. "This dumbass here doesn't want to turn on his brain!"

"Watch your mouth Rosh..."

"Or what are you going to do? Expel me from the Alliance? You can't do it!"

"No but I can have you in jail in ten seconds!" he replied.

"I've been in an Imperial prison for seven years do you think I care about your nice, cozy prison?" I answered, trying as cold as a stone.

"You can always try it. After all we have enough to send you downstairs for a couple of days at least. Your foul behavior here should be enough. Damn it I wish you would have never joined us!"

"Then Daltarra would have been a total failure."

In that I realized I was Force gripping the metallic structure of the chair so hard that my fingers, and not the mechanical ones had pierced the thin steel layer. We all heard the loud bang as the metal almost exploded under my fingers. I looked down and I saw my hand covered with blood. A splinter of steel was stuck in my palm. "Damn it..." I pulled hard and ripped the steel structure apart.

"What the hell..." snapped Antilles as he saw my bleeding hand.

"Don't worry. It's none of your business. You know what..." damn, it hurt! "...I'm leaving. And not only because I need medical help. We're leaving for real. As soon as I'm capable to pilot Padmè's ship, we leave the base. We already had organized everything, we will just anticipate our leave." I said turning towards the door.

"Where are you going?" asked Antilles.

"It's none of your business Reymus." replied Obi-Wan. "And he's right. You're going to regret this. You're over reacting."

We all got out of the room. As soon as the door was closed behind, I lost all control. "Fuck it! It hurts!"

Padmè grasped my arm and inspected the wound. There was a rather large sliver stuck in my palm. It wasn't deep, it wasn't even bleeding much but, heck, it hurt! "I think you need some stitches." she said plainly.

"Yeah...I think so..."

"You go up in the infirmary, I'll try to talk to Reymus and make him rethink his decision." said Darrick then.

"Good idea. I'lll check the kids." added Aleha. She looked at Ahsoka. "Can you help me?"

My former Padawan nodded. "Sure. Take care Master."

I nodded. "I will Ahsoka."

With that said, Padmè and Obi-Wan guided me towards the infirmary.

The day had started in a very bad way, but in some distorted way, it was going to end better than what we had expected.

* * *

_For those who had a bad feeling about it...well, you were right. Although I feel I could have written this chapter a little better...damn, I have a couple of problems here at home and I fear they affected my writing. Sorry guys...I'll try to fix them for the next one. Anyway, I wrote a sort of "battle strategy" for Red Rain and I have the feeling it's going to be at least as long as Over the Hills... if not longer! Lot's of stuff going on here. There's a very important character showing up later on...actually two, but one of them is a bit younger than what you remember from the Original Trilogy..._

_PS: the text messaging stuff...I made it, there's no comlink in the Star Wars Universe that can do it...my idea, probably not the best one but...someways it works._

_Anyway, hope you liked it. See ya next time!_


	4. A Place For Rest

**Chapter 4 – A Place For Rest**

"I can't believe you tore that chair apart like that!" said Obi-Wan while we were heading for the infirmary. "I've never seen such a strong Force grip, from anyone!"

"I can't believe it too!" I replied. "I mean, I know I can do it with the other hand, not this one! Ouch, it hurts!"

I heard Padmè sighing beside me as she kept a paper towel she had retrieved from the nearest restroom against the wound. "If you don't move your fingers it won't hurt that bad!"

"You must be pretty angry to do something like this."

"I was. I mean, he managed to piss me off really bad but now I'm a bit calmer." I said as finally the lift doors opened on the right level. "The only problem is that now I'm fucked!"

"You aren't. Darrick is talking him to reason, don't worry. He's going to suspend you for a couple of weeks then you'll return to active duty. End of the story. The Alliance needs you, and he knows it." said Padmè.

Obi-Wan opened the door of the infirmary and we got in. It wasn't a big place, probably it occupied only half of the total space of the floor, but it was functional and well equipped. It used to be always full when we had half of the army in the base but right now, it was empty. Most of the time, those who needed medical help had a bad cold or the flu, nothing more. A month before there was a sort of epidemic spread of the flu with the kids and we had ten of them in the infirmary for some nights with Aleha, Ahsoka and Darrick acting like mothers and father for them, after the second night they had dealt with them all by themselves, Padmè, Obi-Wan and I joined their efforts and managed to keep them calm and in their beds. Never underestimates a sick youngling, he might turn out to be incredibly tricky to handle. Probably, after those mad days, my case was the worst thing that could happen in that moment, without the army.

There was only one medic on call that morning.

Guess who he was?

As we closed the door behind us, I saw Janu lifting his head from his desk. His expression changed immediately. "You. Again. What the hell did you do?"

"Nothing, I just had an argument with Colonel Antilles." I replied! "I was angry!"

"He tore apart a chair. A steel chair!" stated Obi-Wan as Janu gestured me to sit on one of the beds. "And a sliver stuck in his palm."

Janu shook his head. "I can't believe it. You must be really fond of pieces of metal stuck in your flesh Kid! Are you sure you don't have a masochistic side you want to tell us about?"

I saw him bustling about his equipment and picking up some tools unfortunately I knew very well.

"Oh, he is a masochistic guy, that's for sure! I mean, look what happened to him!" joked my Master for a moment. "He has the nasty tendency to jump into troubles."

He shook his head again. "I noticed..." he hastily fetched a couple of gloves and wore them. "Come on Kid. Your hand here!" I pointed at a small mobile table. "And don't move!"

"I'll try."

Janu was looking for some anesthetics when Obi-Wan received a call from Aleha. "I'm sorry but I have to go. Aleha needs me upstairs."

"Don't worry about me. I got used at being stitched up from time to time!" I said. "Padmè, if you want to go..."

She looked a bit worried but her presence was useless. I knew she didn't like hospitals much, they made her nervous and edgy, it would be a torture for her to stay there with me even if Janu was already taking care of me.

"Are you sure you don't want some company?" she asked.

I shook my head. "I have all the company I need and you can't stand hospitals. I understand. Don't worry about me. I'll be downstairs as soon as he's done here."

"You need at least an hour with your hand in a bacta canister. There's likely a tendon damage." said Janu preparing the painkiller shot.

"Alright then. I'll go and pack the last things and prepare the ship. Call me as soon as you're done." she kissed me briefly then headed towards the door. "See you later!"

"See ya!"

After they had left, silence fell over the infirmary. Only the metallic clicking of Janu's instruments as he worked.

I leaned back on the reclined bed and sighed. "I should have expected something like this."

He stopped for a moment. "What?"

"This. I mean, we've been through this already, before the Empire. I should have known someone would have noticed strange movements at night!"

He chuckled and got back to his work. "You tried. You failed. Happens all the time. No problem."

"Antilles is going to kill me."

He shook his head. "No way. He knows how important you are. And if he says otherwise, he's just fooling around. Everyone in this base thinks you are one of our best men. No one is going to take it away from that."

"I got suspended until further notice and considering how angry he was earlier, this further notice is going come in a really long time!"

"How's it going? Does it hurt?" he asked then.

I shook my head. "Not too much, only when you move the splinter."

"Alright. I think you need more anesthetic."

"No, don't worry. I can take it. It's not as painful as the broken leg." I told him. "I can deal with it."

He sighed and inspected the wound a little better. "Ok. After all I'm halfway through it then it's only a matter of bacta." he said. "This time it's not that bad. Anyway, you're suspended. What does that mean?"

"I'm stuck with the kids' training. Not that I don't like it, I love it, it a great chance for learning new things myself, but I also love teaching at the pilot course and the workshop! I mean, I've been doing it for two years and it was amazing!"

"It means that in case they decide another attack like Daltarra you're stuck on ground!"

I nodded. "Yep. Up to know, I'm only half a Jedi in this conditions. I can't be as useful as I would like to be!"

"You're gonna be a full time teacher. You'll always be useful, no matter what Antilles say."

I sighed. "Thanks for the support Janu, I really appreciate it."

He shrugged his shoulders. "It's a pleasure. Anyway, I was thinking...why don't you just get married again?"

"And you think I didn't think about it? Hell, it was one of the first things I wanted to do but we discovered a tiny marginal note about weddings on Naboo. There's a catch, and we discovered it a couple of months after Daltarra. By the laws of Naboo, a widow can't get married again for at least eighteen months after the spouse has been been declared dead. We still have six months before she can be officially declared single again."

"Wow...I didn't know that!" he said. "Maybe because I never got married."

"Never?" strange. I thought he was married with family!

He shook his head. "No, never. I had a long lasting relationship with the mother of my children but we never got married. We broke up about ten years ago and...well, she died not a full year later."

"I'm sorry..."

He chuckled. "Don't worry. I had time to recover. I still have wonderful memories of us and three adult children. Greatest accomplishment of my life." it was the first time he told me something about himself. He knew almost everything about me but we didn't know anything about him!

"Where are they?"

"The younger one is studying neurology and neurosurgery at Royal Naboo University. The eldest is an architect and Chora is a retired Royal Pilot, she got married a couple of years ago and now she teaches space engineering at the Royal Academy."

"Wow, you must be proud of them!"

"Of course I am! As much as you must be proud of your kids. And I hope you are..."

I laughed a bit. "Sure! But in a different way. They were their mother's pillars when I was away and they were barely seven years old. Yep, I'm proud of them! How is it going?"

He stopped his work for a moment and smiled. "Not bad. The damage to the tendons is reduced to a minimum, one hour with the bacta and you should be just fine. Itchy but fine. What are you going to do now?"

"We had planned a vacation on Naboo for the next three weeks, we should have left tomorrow but I think we are going to leave today. And then...I don't know. I guess I have to trust Darrick and his ability to persuade Antilles in reducing my punishment!" I told him.

He laid his instruments on the tray beside my wounded hand and sighed. "Ok, I'm done here. Wait here a second so I can prepare the canister. Roll up your sleeve please!" I obeyed and he turned around and fumbled with the equipment in the cabinets on the wall. "And for your situation, all I can tell you is to keep calm and stop worrying about what Antilles will do."

"How?" I asked then. "He hates me and he's in charge of this base. He's going to keep making my life miserable as long as he can!"

"Oh stop whining Anakin! You're not a kid anymore!" he snapped as he prepared the special bacta canister for my hand. It was a special design that allowed the patient to lay comfortably and not hanging his arm over the edge of a bucket. He encased my arm in the special canister and closed it, checking if the rubber gasket around my forearm was sealed. "You're a grown up man, you should be able to deal with authority by yourself!"

"I've always had problems with authority!" I replied. "Since I was a kid!"

"Then it's time to change your attitude! Antilles might be a whack when he wants to be, I know it, but he's not stupid! He knows he needs every able man he can gather here. He'll think about this and shorten your punishment. And if he doesn't...well, you're married to one of the founders of the Alliance! She surely can do something about this!"

He opened a cap on the top of the canister and poured the cold bacta in. At first it hurt a little, but as soon as the natural anesthetic started working, the wound on my palm suddenly went numb and it didn't hurt anymore.

"Easier said than done..." I said then.

He slapped me behind my neck. "Stop it, you're acting like a child! I can't stand those people who keep whining at the first difficulty of life! You've been through hell. Slavery, Jedi apprenticeship, the war, prison and then...well you know your own story! And now you're laying here whining instead of trying to find a solution!"

"What the heck can I do?" I snapped. "I'm a no-one! I'm a simple Jedi Knight, I'm not Anakin Skywalker!"

"You are, you just forgot what it means to be him! You've been hiding behind Atton Rosh's disguise for too long! Listen, as soon as I unleash you, I want you to leave this place. Get out of here, unplug your brain for a couple of days back on Naboo, enjoy your time with your family, you deserve that, but promise me you'll think about what I'm gonna say now." he was deadly serious, he was almost scary as serious as he looked in that moment. "Stop being Atton Rosh. Rosh is too meek, too gentle...too tame! This is war Kid, and you're battling on more than a front. You need to tear the old Anakin out of the corner, dust him off and stand up. Do something for the Force's sake!"

"What? What the heck do I have to do? March over the Imperial Palace and kill the Emperor in a duel?" I snapped back. I was exasperated. I couldn't understand what he wanted!

"Don't be stupid! That's not what I mean! I mean you have to do something for yourself. You need to be yourself! You're going to explode if you keep going on like this! You need to do something. I don't know...save a world, prepare a sapper squad and destroy another Imperial shipyard, I don't care. Just put those energies to use! Look what you did today. It's not yet nine in the morning and you already tore apart a steel chair! Shit Anakin you need to vent it out!"

"I know Janu, I know! I don't know what to damn it!"

We stared at each other for a moment then we both sighed and stopped for a moment the discussion.

He was right. I needed to do something for myself. I had been stuck in another person's identity for too long and it started to weight over me. The whole situation was a total mess and I couldn't find an exit. Atton Rosh was a great man. A devoted Jedi, a great mechanic and pilot, now he was an even more devoted boyfriend and stepfather of two wonderful kids...but underneath it all, I was frustrated. I was incredibly frustrated, even more than the year before, when I was literally boiling while waiting to get back my family.

I couldn't go on like that. Padmè kept telling me to relax a bit, to cut it loose and that vacation would help me it but in the end I would start it over again from the same place.

"Listen, I don't know what you want me to do. I have issues to take care, and not only this thing with Antilles. I have other problems going on and I have to find a solution for those too!"

"What problems?" he asked sitting down on his stool again, as he checked on my hand through the plastic harness.

"I...I had a dream, a couple of weeks ago. It was about an old friend. Actually, it was about Hilean's father."

"Jax?"

"Him. He wasn't in a great situation, I mean, he was battling against Darth Vader and he's a formidable opponent...but I think he's still alive. I don't know where he is, if he's ok or how he manages to survive but I'm sure he's still alive."

He chuckled. "What are you going to do?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I...I don't really know. Every time I look at Aleha and Hilean I think about how happy I am with my family and how miserable is one of my best friend and the fact that there's a six years old girl that is convinced that her father is dead. A girl that one year ago helped me getting over a sever bout of depression simply hugging me when I needed it! It's just so unfair!"

"Then I feel you've found something to do." he said.

I didn't understand. "What?"

He shrugged his shoulders and smiled. "You'll realize it yourself. Don't worry."

An hour later, my hand was good enough to be released. I still had a thin reddish line where the steel had pierced the flesh. He cleaned the bacta residuals and put a bandage on it. "It's just to remind you to take it easy. You can pilot and do what you want but it will itch for a couple days but you should be perfectly fine."

"Thank you Janu. I really needed someone to talk to."

He signed my release sheet and smiled. "Anytime Anakin. Come anytime you need someone to talk to. I'm here!"

When I reached our apartment, everything was ready. Everything was packed and the twins were already looking forward to set their feet on the ship and fly straight for Naboo.

Padmè was taking care of the last things when I entered. "Hey there...how's your hand?" she asked.

"Fine. An hour in the bacta and it's fine." I replied. "You?"

"Ready to go. We just need to take these suits down to the hangar and then we're clear for flight."

I nodded. "Good. Squids, are you ready?"

The twins stormed out of their room with their tiny suitcases and backpacks. "Of course we are!"

"Yep, you're ready. So...what's stopping us?"

"Absolutely nothing dad!" said Luke.

"Sure, then...get out of this place and straight to the hangar!"

No need to say they took my advice literally.

We were halfway through the hallway when Padmè stopped for a second. "Oh, Darrick called about half an hour ago...he said he managed to tear out a two-months-long suspension. After that, you're clear for duty as normal. I guess it's not such a bad compromise."

"No, not bad indeed, but let's not talk about it now. I'm not in the mood!" I almost pleaded. I already had enough of Antilles and his overreacting bullshit for today!"

"How's your hand?" asked Leia then.

"Not bad. It itches a bit but it's fine. I've been worse!"

"Will you let mi pilot the ship?" asked Luke.

"When you're a little older Squid...you need to grow up a little more to pilot a ship of that kind." I told him when we reached the hangar. "And it's not a matter of age. It's a matter of height. You can't reach the pedals with those short legs!"

His shoulders sagged a bit. "Ok dad..." he mumbled.

Poor kid...he really hoped this time I would teach him how to pilot...during the last year I had often brought him with me during the short flights I took with my X-Wing to check if the improvements I had made worked or not, he sat on my lap and watched. Sometimes, when we were outside the planet atmosphere I let him pilot it for a very short time. He wasn't bad, but he still lacked the height to reach the farthest buttons and settings. Probably in a couple of years he would grow enough to fit the standard cockpit and I would start the first flight lessons but up to now, no, he was too young and too enthusiast to pay attention.

Anyway, right beside our ship, there was Artoo, taking care of the last few check ups before take-off.

I loaded our suitcases while Padmè took care of the kids. "How's the ship Artoo?"

He cheerfully reply with the usual series of beep and whistles. According to him, it was fine, ready to fly and with enough propeller for the return too.

"You're the best, you know that?"

"Oh, don't worry, he does know!" came Obi-Wan's voice from behind me. "You made him far too aware of that during the war, and he's still bragging about it!"

"Best astrodroid ever built. And the nicest one too!" I replied packing the last suitcase in the compartment. "What are you doing here?"

"Same thing I did about a year ago. Wishing you a good vacation and lots of rest. You really need it."

"Thank you. You know, a vacation would do great even for you!" I said wiping my hands on my pants before we shook hands.

"Not now. Aleha needs me, and Ahsoka too. And we are lucky enough we don't have to pretend to be someone else all the time!"

"I know. But probably it's better now. I mean, they know it and we have a little more freedom now but yet...it's still a mess."

"Don't worry, everything will get better. Now, don't think about this, enjoy your stay on Naboo and whatever you do, do it carefully!"

I couldn't understand clearly the last sentence. "What are you trying to tell me?"

He sighed and shook his head. "Nothing Anakin, just don't do something foolish!"

"I'm the king of foolish things Master!" I replied.

"That's why I'm asking you to be careful. About everything! And now go, or your wife is going to kill me. Have fun and take care!" he hugged me then let me go.

"I will Master. I will."

Soon after that, when we had been cleared by the docking authority of the base, we were flying to Naboo.

Things were going to get interesting in the span of some hours.

* * *

_A bit better I hope this time. Some of the issues I have at home are getting fixed and I'm getting my usual spring insomnia therefore I write like a maniac. Just last night I wrote half of a future chapter on paper! If tonight I'll have more difficulties at sleeping I might even finish the next chapter by tomorrow. (and considering the insanely high amount of coffee I had today I will definitely have another round of insomnia tonight. _

_Anyway, I hope you liked it. I keep receiving incredibly good feedback about this story and I've posted only three chapters, four with this one. It's amazing. Seems like even Over The Hills And Far Away is getting new fans. Thanks for everything, it's just so incredible!_

_Oh, just one minor detail about chapter 2: when Anakin is talking about Yavin he says he might even live on Korriban but not on Yavin. Korriban is a small, desert planet in the Outer Rim where many Sith Lords were buried when they died, thousands of years before the movies. It's a sort of sanctuary of the Dark Side Of The Force, much like Dagobah, and for a borderline Jedi like Anakin it might be very difficult to live there because of this cumbersome presence of the Dark Side. _

_Have fun and see ya!_


	5. Learn To Swim

_Let's say it plain and simple. Remember the issues I told you about a couple of chapters ago? Alright, they blew off like a bomb. My mother has cancer. A very aggressive cancer. That's the problem. Which means I will probably spend more time at the hospital with her than the time I will spend at home. That doesn't mean I will stop writing. I can write in every situation, even the most chaotic one. I mean, I wrote stuff, important university stuff, during a concert at Metal Camp. _

_Up to now, writing is my only escape to the tragedy of the moment. I have constant reminders of what's going on therefor there's no way I'm going to stop now. I can't stop writing, this is my support therapy, escaping to the Galaxy Far Far Away it's really my own personal support terapy. I'm not even slowing down a little. I'll have to spend some nights at the hospital, watching over her, and that means I have to keep myself awake and that's time for writing. Lots of time for writing. Just have faith, because this is my way to get out of reality and I need to keep up writing. Probably, it will get a bit darker, because this story has a lot of dark spots, but in the end, I swear, there's the happy ending. I mean, I started writing because I wanted a happy ending for Star Wars, I'm not going to change style just now. Anyway, this is what's going on, I'm trying to keep going so, if it takes a bit too long to update, don't worry. I'm not going to stop again for four years. This is a totally different situation. I can cope with that, I just need more time to write probably. Or maybe it will be the contrary, since my mother's sleeping most of the time and that's all time I spend writing, reading and studying. I don't know, it's a bit complicated at the moment. Alright, now, let's get to the real deal._

* * *

**Chapter 5 – Learn To Swim**

The flight was pretty much normal. Nothing special actually, six boring, normal hours from Dantooine to Naboo. Nothing to report, except that out of Luke's insistence and his mother's request, I finally gave him his first flying lesson.

Nothing big but halfway through the trip, right after lunch, finally I told him to take seat in the co-pilot chair and start listening.

He didn't touch the console yet, but I showed him the basics. What to do for the take-off and the landing, which button coincided to a determined action and command...stuff like that. He did know some things but not many. I had to explain a couple of things more than once but he was a fast learner. At least when he had to study and learn things he actually liked.

"Why don't you let me try the flight simulators?" he asked at some point.

We had already had that conversion before. Probably that was the tenth time.

"Luke, I already told you, you can't reach all the buttons and stuff. You're still to young and too short!" I told him, trying not to sound rude. I mean, he was barely nine years old and his own father had to tell him he was too short to do something. I felt like crap in that moment, really.

"But you were my age and my height when you did the pod races!" he whined.

"I know, but that pod was built specifically so I could fit into it. It was only for me, other people would feel incredibly cramped in my pod!" I explained. "Those simulators are built for people at least one foot taller than you. You just need to grow up a little more, let's say, two or three years, and then we'll talk about it."

He made a strange face and then sighed. "I wish I was already twelve."

Poor kid...he reminded me so much myself when I was his age...

"Luke, come here." I said at some point. He obeyed and I picked him up so he was sitting in my lap. "You know, when Master Obi-Wan brought me to the Temple to be trained, I was forbidden to touch a starfighter until I was fourteen."

"Really?"

I nodded. "Oh, yeah! Five, incredibly painful years! I mean, I was one of the most talented pilots in their ranks and they said I was too young to pilot. And you know what? They were right!"

He looked up at me. "Why?"

I sighed. "Because all their starfighters were built for people of a certain height. I couldn't reach the pedals, I couldn't reach the commands of the shields...I would have been totally useless. I still can't believe I could pilot one of the Naboo starfighters when...well actually when I saved your mother and the whole planet!"

"Yeah, mom told us."

"And did she tell you that I totally had no clue of what I was doing?" I asked him.

He shook his head. "No, she only told us you were incredibly lucky to have Artoo with you."

"Oh, she's right. Artoo did most of the job up there, doing the things I didn't know how to do and where to find the right button. I've loved that droid with all my heart ever since."

He beeped his approval from his spot at the control station.

"Anyway, are you happy to get on Naboo for three weeks?"

"Sure I am. We've never been to the Varykino retreat!" he told me.

"No way! Never?" he shook his head. "Wow, I thought your mother would bring you there sometime when I was away. I mean, it's such a beautiful place! You know, me and mom got married there!"

"Yeah, she told us. It was after Geonosis, right?"

"Yep." I nodded. "Exactly. Nice day...except that my arm hurt like hell!"

"You always find a way to hurt yourself!" he joked.

"Ehm, yeah, let's say that I have my ways!"

We both burst into laughs and he hugged me tightly. He was a cuddle boy and even if he was already nine he didn't try to evade hugs and kisses from both me and his mother. That was a bit strange because I remembered being extremely embarrassed when my mother tried to hug me when I was his age. "Come on, let's go back to the crew cabin, we still have a couple of hours and these chairs are not that comfortable. Do you agree?"

The next two hours were just boring. Plain and boring. We were all looking forward to set foot on Naboo and we couldn't think about anything else.

Finally, when we finally arrived and Artoo parked the small ship in the private warehouse, we unloaded our suitcases and headed for the house. Padmè had said that we would have the house all for us, she hadn't called the service staff. Way better. An empty house, plenty of time to do whatever we wanted...the only contact with the external world would have been a trusted man who would bring us what we might have needed once or twice a week...

Pure bliss.

Believe me, it's true. That's the kind of place you tend to fall in love with and it really roots in your heart. Probably the most romantic place in the Galaxy. I had so many good memories about that place that...damn, it was just so good to be there. This time with the kids.

It was their first time and you could really see the amazement on their faces when they first set their eyes on the scenery. "Wow!" almost shouted Luke when we got out of the warehouse.

"You like it?" I asked.

"Absolutely yes!" they said in the same time.

"Alright, now go and open the house." Padmè threw the keys to Leia and they both ran towards the main house.

Sighing a little, she looked up at me. "Do you think they'll enjoy the stay?" she asked me.

"Of course they do!" I told her picking up our baggage. "I mean, look at this place! How can they not enjoy it?"

"I don't know...it's just that they are now used to stay with other kids all the time and...well...I just hope they'll find something to do!"

I stopped on my tracks halfway towards the house. "They will. Better, we will!"

On Naboo it was barely mid afternoon when we arrived and in about half an hour we had the house ready and running. I had checked the plumbing, the kitchen and the electricity and everything worked fine. No one had been there since the last autumn and there were some pretty nasty storms in that region during winter. I wanted to check if anything needed to be repaired before throwing myself into three weeks of complete laziness and nothing else but having fun with my family.

But luck was on our side and fortunately we could skip the part of instructing the domestic staff. Padmè asked what the kids wanted to do and apparently they had enough of going around the house and the garden for that day. They spent half of the afternoon exploring the place and well, they had fun with that.

Damn, Padmè's education system was doing wonders with them. They might have been young but they were definitely independent and absolutely controlled in their actions. And that allowed us parents to be a little more relaxed about them. We just put on some more comfortable clothes and headed straight for the balcony on the lakeside.

As stunning as always. That's the only word I can muster to describe the place.

"Nothing changed since last year!" I said leaning on the stone railing.

"Not even since twelve years ago! It's the good thing about this place. It exactly as I remember it since my childhood. And it will never change!" she said. "The only thing that changed was me, and of course, us."

I nodded. "Definitely. That's absolutely true. And something that will never change either will be our memories. And I am very fond of the memories I have about this place."

She smiled a bit, slightly embarrassed. It was strange. I mean, she was a true tiger in bedroom (and even somewhere else) and still she got all shy about stupid things like our first kiss. I really didn't understand but she was just so cute when she blushed like that! I love my wife!

"I think I remember..." she mumbled. "You kissed me for the first time here."

"Exactly a step more to the left." I said gently pulling her towards me and circling her waist with my arm. "Right here!"

I leaned down to kiss her but I merely managed to touch her when we heard the kids rushing to the balcony.

"Oh please not again!" we heard Leia say.

Padmè took a step back and we saw them covering their eyes. "Squids, come on! No need to act like that!"

"It's just gross mom!" said Leia then.

"One day you won't consider this gross, I tell you!" I told her. "So, how's the place?"

"Absolutely incredible! I mean, this is all ours?" asked Luke.

"It's your grandparents' actually. We're just borrowing it." answered Padmè. "Come on, it's almost time for dinner and I'll have to fix something. Who's going to help me?"

Of course we all offered ourselves as kitchen helpers. The twins were far better than me. They had more cookery training, I tell you. I was only good for testing if there was enough salt here and there. I'm a total whack in the kitchen, I really suck! I always had after all...on Dxun I used to wash the dishes and nothing else when I was on kitchen turnation!

We spent a quiet evening in the main living room but soon after ten in the evening the kids were sleepy and we put them to bed and proceeded to prepare for bedtime ourselves, only that we fell asleep much later. If you know what I mean!

Next morning, when I woke up, the sun was shining brightly and the temperature was just perfect for a day at the lake. I mean, really perfect.

Summer had bloomed and as the day before, it was warm enough for shorts and t-shirts. There was a gentle wind that moved the trees outside our bedroom and the lake too. Lazily, I got up and slowly dressed and then went into the kitchen and started making breakfast. At least I knew how to make coffee and warm the milk for the kids. That was easy enough.

As I prepared the table, I found myself thinking about Jax. It might sound stupid but the simplest things tended to bring up the memory of that strange dream I had three weeks before. I was wondering what he was doing in that moment, if he was fine and what the heck would have happened to him in the near future. Nothing too good I thought.

And it felt really bad. I felt a sting of pain in my chest every time I thought about how fortunate I was and in what crappy situation life had put both Aleha and Hilean. I didn't even had the courage to tell Aleha I had that dream. I didn't want to give her false hopes.

I was so engrossed in my thoughts that I didn't hear Padmè approaching. She hugged me from behind and laid her cheek on my back. "What are you doing?"

"I was planning to bring you breakfast in bed, but you preceded me."

"That's sweet..." she loosened her hold and I turned around to face her. "It would have been the first time!"

"It's the first time I actually have the chance to wake up and stay with you in the morning since last year. Without broken legs and stuff like that! And the staff here! It's really the first chance I have to do it!"

"You can always try tomorrow!" she whispered. "You just need to be a little quieter when you get out of bed!"

"I'm sorry I woke you up..."

She shook her head slowly. "No need. Otherwise, I would have missed your show in the kitchen!"

"I hope I did it right. Anyway, what do you want to do after breakfast?"

Sighing, she laid her head on my chest. "I don't know. Maybe we can just take the kids to the beach and spend the day there! I just want to relax today!"

"Great idea. It's been ages since I had the chance to swim a little!"

And, for having spent almost ten years of my life on a desert planet like Tatooine, I was a discrete swimmer. I wasn't that fast, but I had stamina. And I just loved swimming. When I first got to the Jedi Temple as a Padawan, one of the first thing I learned was swimming, and I never stopped ever since.

Anyway, the kids were enthusiast too. We we first got to the small private beach right at the end of the garden, then we followed Padmè along the shore to a more secluded and...well, pretty much amazing. From there we had the most wonderful view on the lake and partially on the house. There were trees all around the small natural beach that created a sort of dome on part of the clearing, while the other half was in a very strategic place because the sun would shine brightly over it all day long. Prefect place for a suntan, I can tell you!

As we were settling down, I noticed that we were quite close to the famous island she had told me about so many years later. I had been there a couple of times but I never swam up there.

"Hey, when we pass the two hours after breakfast would you like to swim up there?" I asked pointing at the island.

The kids looked at me like I had just said the greatest foolishness of the galaxy. "Ehm...dad, there's something we have to tell you."

"What?"

"They don't swim." said Padmè for them.

I couldn't believe it. "What? They don't swim?" I asked, incredulous. "I mean, you never taught them?"

She shook her head. "No, we never had the chance. Even when we were on Alderaan...we never found the right time and place."

I shook my head as I took off my t-shirt. "Alright. We have to do something about this. You must know how to swim, there's no way we're going to leave this place until you can swim up to that island and back without help! And we start today!"

"For real?" asked Leia. "I mean, you're going to teach us how to swim?"

"Of course I am! I swear that when we'll return to Dantooine you'll be perfect swimmers, I don't care if we'll have to slow down your exercises. We can reprise them when we'll be back to the base, but now, since we have the perfect place and chance, this is more important."

It was indeed important. And not only for them, but for me too, because that was the first thing, except the Jedi stuff, that I could teach my kids, as every father does.

For most of their life they had relied on their mother, or on Obi-Wan, but now, it was my chance to do something for them. Something really useful indeed.

Still, we had had a huge breakfast that morning and it meant that we would have had to wait at least a couple of hours before diving in the lake, considering how cold the water was.

We spent that time in a very useful way though. It was a sandy beach, and that was rather strange for a lake but there were rocks and wood trunks all around the place so we started building a sort of sand castle that resembled the arena of Geonosis and the area all around. Practical re-enacting of the First Battle of Geonosis, with not one but two veterans present to tell the whole story.

They were both very interested, most of all Leia. In the year we had spent together, I had noticed how interested she was in tactical stuff and matters. She always asked me about the technical side of battles, not the battle themselves. Strategies, how to find a weak spot in the enemy's lines...that was what she liked to know. On the contrary, her brother was the action type instead. Well, let's say that he was a little more like me, while Leia resembled Padmè not only in the aspect but in the character too.

"So...this is the arena, ok?" I pointed at the center of the sort of crater I had dug in the sand and stabilized with rocks and pieces of wood. "Now, we were standing here, when Master Windu arrived and threatened Cound Dooku so he could let us go."

"Then when he refused, we saw almost two hundred lightsaber igniting in the same moment." continued Padmè. "There were Jedi everywhere! I mean, I had never seen so many of them gathered in only one place that wasn't the Temple! Most of theme were here..." she pointed at the highest ring of the tiny replica of the arena. "...blocking the soldiers and the incoming droids. When the Geonosian king, what was his name?" she asked me.

"Poggle The Lesser. Nasty little cricket!" I told them.

"Yep, him, when he released the droids, most of the Jedi dropped to the center of the arena, they gave your father and Master two lightsaber because they had lost or destroyed theirs and then we started fighting."

"Even you mom?" asked Leia.

"If I wanted to survive!" replied Padmè jokingly. "Yep, I fought. It was a matter of life and death! I grabbed the first discarded blaster I found and started shooting off droid after droid, with you father that deflected the shots headed at me. We are a rather good team after all!"

"Absolutely! Best aggressive negotiation I've ever taken part to. Absolutely fantastic." I said. And it was true. "But, you know, no matter how trained you are, when the shots are too much, of course you risk to let some of them go. That's why Obi-Wan makes you practice with more than one training remote. Many Jedi died that day and for a moment we thought we had lost but right when we thought we were doomed, Master Yoda arrived with the Clones."

"The battle then moved out of the arena." readily interjected Padmè. "With the Clones coming from here and the droid army from there. When they saw what kind of crushing forces the Republic had been able to deploy in such a short time they panicked and started fleeing, at least the important ones. They left the Geonosians and the droids there to fight and then started taking off."

I nodded. "Yep, Count Dooku was almost ready to go away when me and Obi-Wan managed to reach his private hangar and confront him."

"You didn't do too good though." said Luke, pointing at my right arm.

I think if my stare could have killed, he would have been a small pile of ashes. "Thanks for the remark smartass! Take it as a lesson. Be careful when you confront a Sith. They cheat!"

"And they are champions of cheating!" added Padmè, obviously thinking about how herself had been tricked by Palpatine.

"Exactly. And since we are fighting against the Sith, try to learn this lesson very fast, because you'll need it." I checked the time. "Oh, come on! Time for your first swimming lesson!"

Padmè grabbed my wrist and checked the time herself. "No wait a sec, you mean it took us two and half hours to build this thing and then tell them the story?"

"Apparently...are you coming with us or you stay here?" I asked standing up and wiping some sand off my swimming trunks.

"I'm coming, but this is your time, I already taught them too many things. I'll just watch and help if they need it."

"Seems fair." I looked down at Luke and Leia. I could see on their faces they were really excited about this. I took their hands in mine and led them towards the water. "Beware it will be cold!"

And it was indeed. It made me cringe a bit when I felt how cold it was. "Wow, it's really really cold!" I snapped when I was knee deep in water.

"It's a lake, not the sea. It's normal!" replied Padmè.

"I know! I had my lesson of geography when I was a kid. And I hated them!" I added in a whisper. "Now, I guess this should to." the kids had the water a couple of inches above their belly and in case they were frightened or something they would have found the ground under their feet. I knelt so I was facing them at the same height "First lesson. You need to know how to float. Once you know how to do it, the rest comes easily!"

"Really?" asked Leia a bit doubtful.

I nodded. "Yep. Just look at your mom!" she was lazily floating around us, a wide smile on her face. "It's easy because part of your chest is full of air."

"You mean the lungs?" asked Luke.

"Exactly. It's this that helps you float. It's the very beginning. Now the trick is just lay down and relax. I'll hold you up though, I won't try all by yourself right on the very first day."

They didn't do bad for their first day. Leia was a bit scared but by the end of the day she managed to overcome her fear and by the end of the day they both floated easily and naturally without any help, even where the water was higher than them.

A great achievement for just one day of lesson! They were fast learners and at that rate, they could start swimming around in high waters in a week or two.

By mid-afternoon I decided it was time for them to play a little so I left them with their stuff. They remained on the shoreline where we could check on them and, well, actually instead of playing they engaged a sparring combat session, as if they wanted to keep up their training even while on vacation.

Still drenched and dripping I sat next to Padmè on one of the beach towels we had spread in a corner of the place, not too far from where the kids were playing. "Hey, you ok?"

She nodded. "Absolutely. I was just packing some things, it's almost time to get back to the house."

I glanced at my watch. It was really getting late! "Wow! How long did we stay down there?"

"A couple of hours, maybe more. You did a great job!"

"Thank you. But most of the effort was theirs!"

She leaned a bit closer and kissed me briefly. "But you're a great teacher. Now I can see why Ahsoka spoke so very highly of your teaching skills. You're a very good teacher indeed!"

"I try. It's easier with them, they actually listen. Ahsoka was a mess, she's so headstrong and when she was younger she was even worse! Anyway, by the end of the week if they go on like this they should be able to swim on their own. At least the basics! After that it's all a matter of practice!"

"You can underestimate yourself as much as you want but you are an amazing teacher nonetheless. That's it. Now come on, go and pick them up, we've got to return to the house, alright?"

With some efforts we managed to tear the twins out of the lake and head back to the house. It wasn't easy, since they were having a lot of fun, but in the end hunger took over all the fun and in the end they followed us.

Well, later, as I brought the sleeping kids upstairs in their room, I realized that not only for the first time I had actually taught them something as a father and not as a Jedi, but also we had a lot of fun doing it!

They had fallen asleep downstairs, totally exhausted and while I tucked them in their beds I couldn't help but think about how unfair life was sometime. I had everything I wanted, and so many close to me had barely their own life. I couldn't stand it.

But I had to do something about it. And I had three weeks to find a way.

* * *

_First chapter straight live streaming from the hospital! Hell yeah!_

_No I mean, I'm being sarcastic. I'm not happy, I'm just trying to keep myself up and functioning. I have a lot of time to write in the end, everything considered. It's hard but...I have a ton of friends to back me up so...I guess I'll keep going as long as I can then, I'll see what I can do._

_Oh, anyway, I switched to decaf, but still I can't get much sleep. Hey, not that bad in the end, I'm catching up with the huge backlog of movies I have to watch! The BluRay player is burning!_

_See ya!_


	6. Independent Love

**Chapter 6 – Independent Love**

_There were three men in maroon tunics and bleak faces, gathered around a small round table with a small portable holoprojector at its center._

_The small holo disappeared with a last charge of statics and the dim green hue emanated by the image went away with it, leaving the three men almost in the dark. There was barely light enough so they could see each other as they spoke. _

"_Pavan has escaped too many times. The Dark Lord himself is becoming impatient." said the one of them, probably the eldest of the trio. His face was so pale he could have been mistaken for a corpse. He placed his long and thin hands on the table as to stress his words. "We must take this fugitive into custody now!"_

"_My Lord, we have tried everything. Even Lord Vader has gone after him and he managed to get away even from him. We don't really know what to do now!" replied another one. He was a bit younger, but years and years of devoted service to the Dark Side had changed his features, disfiguring him and making him hideous to the sight. _

"_It doesn't matter, we have to try harder. Our Lord wants that Jedi and he wants him fast. We cannot fail again"_

_There was a moment of awkward silence between the three Imperial Inquisitors, three former Jedi who had turned to the Dark Side and now served the Emperor in the elite group of the Inquisitorious, chasing Jedi who had eluded Order 66 and even after nine years were still on the run. _

_They were efficient, methodical and and ruthless. Under the strict guidance of Lord Darth Vader, they had been created barely months after the fall of the Republic with the sole duty to annihilate the remaining Jedi. Many of them, like the scarred man, were once Jedi themselves, who had found the opportunity to survive and turned to the enemy. Others were simply non-Jedi Force user, they were uncommon but not impossible to find, and others, well, others were Force-sensitive people taken and instructed to act that way. And some of them, even without the Jedi training_

_But those who had once been Jedi were the worst. Somehow, they all loathed their previous life and were the most dedicated to the job. Some of them also enjoyed killing their prey, if they refused to turn and join their ranks. _

_That long silent pause was abruptly interrupted by the third Inquisitor, the one who had remained silent up to that moment. _

"_Maybe we can try and lure him out of hiding!"_

"_How?" asked the old man. He was studying the younger man with keen interest. He had proved to be a highly valuable element in their ranks, making a very fast progression with his grades. He was young and smart, and he knew his ways with the Force. And he had a huge backlog of successful missions on his file. _

"_I don't know." he admitted. He was smart, but he knew when he had reached his limits. "I have to think about a plan but he's been on the run for too long. Maybe if we can pretend for a while to relinquish our pursuit, maybe he will come out of hiding and we could seize him then!"_

_The scarred man shook his head. "We already tried that. It didn't work." that was true. A couple of years before, when they had first received the order to track that Jedi down and find him, they had tried everything they could to find him but was very good at disappearing on a planet and randomly appear on another. Therefor they had tried with the other technique. They had pretended to stop looking for him to lure him out but it didn't work. They didn't know if he was too smart for them or if they had a mole that helped him staying away from their agents. Either way, they were failing over and over again, and they didn't like it. _

"_Then we must concentrate on him. If the Emperor and Lord Vader want him so fast, we must concentrate on him. This must be our priority."_

_The elder man slowly nodded. "Our colleague is right. We are wasting time here, sending rookies and newly recruited Inquisitors after such a skilled Jedi. We must do it personally, or at least send someone more skilled."_

"_I agree. I'm tired of receiving negative reports. One day or another the Emperor will have me killed for bringing him too many negative news." said the disfigured man. He was one of the first Inquisitors and had gained a rather high place in their ranks and now he worked mainly as a messenger and he was the main contact with the Emperor himself and, well, he wasn't known for his great patience regarding failures. _

"_Who would you send then?" asked the third man, the younger one. _

_The elder man thought about it for a moment. "I really have no idea. Most of all, I don't know where to begin with! Last time he was seen he was on Acherin, but he was reported to have left the planet shortly after he was recognized. This was about six months ago. After that, we don't have any confirmed sightings."_

"_This is not good. At all. We must find that Jedi soon!" snapped the messenger. _

"_Calm down my friend, don't burst out like that. We need to be very concentrated about this matter. Jax Pavan is a very important objective and we can't let him wander around freely like this. Not after the mess at the Imperial Security Bureau, six weeks ago." coldly stated the elder man. "We need to track him down and do it fast."_

"_I'll ask around who are the best Inquisitors around at the moment and I will put them instantly on the case if our chief agrees." said the younger man. _

"_Of course. I don't think there will be problems. Anyway, once you have the OK for the operation, make sure the Inquisitors won't bother trying to turn on our side. It would be plainly futile. Just kill him on sight."_

"Anakin! Anakin wake up!"

Suddenly I opened my eyes and through the haze of sleep I saw Padmè's worried face just inches away from mine. I was breathing heavily and I felt cold sweat dripping down my forehead. Damn those nightmares...they always freaked me out.

"What...what's going on?" I asked in a whisper.

"You were having one of your nightmares. And talking in your sleep. I woke you up before you could start screaming and disturb the kids. It's too early for them to wake up."

I sighed and wiped the sweat from my face with the back of my hand. "Thank you. I'm sorry I woke you up."

Shaking her head she leaned over me and kissed me. "No need to apologize. I was about to get up and start preparing things for today."

I let my arm slip around her shoulders and pulled her towards me. "What are you planning for today?"

"Something special for the kids. But most of all for us." she told me. "We just need to take the speeder or it would take too long to arrive."

"Why do I have the feeling I've already been there?"

"Because you have. We have actually. Just wait and see!" she smiled brightly. "You want to talk about it?"

"What? The nightmare?" I asked, a bit worried. The subject of my dreams was actually the last thing I wanted to tell her, most of all at that early hour when my mind was inclined to do something completely different. Well, not only my mind.

"Yes. You've had troubles sleeping for days now. What's going on?"

"I don't know...it's not something clear, I mean, not like a vision or something. It's just that...I don't know, maybe it's the stress of the last few months that's going away...I don't really know. I have a bad feeling though." it wasn't totally a lie, I mean, I really had a bad feeling about those dreams but they were only two and a month had passed between one and the other. Probably it was really the stress that was fading away, sometimes it happens, you manage to keep going as long as you have the adrenaline up and when it goes down you're tired and sometimes you have troubles sleeping. It wasn't a new situation for me.

"Are you sure? It's not like when you thought I was going to die?"

That thought made me cringe a little. It wasn't my best experience with dreams and visions.

"Definitely not! Nothing to be worried about. It's just a bad dream, nothing else." I said, trying to sound as sure as I could.

She wasn't so convinced though. I could read it on her face. I knew she had been watching over me since we had set foot on Naboo, eight days before, and I hated lying to her but I mean, that was our vacation, I couldn't just ruin everything because I had a bad feeling about a disappeared friend!

"I don't believe you." she said plain and simple. "But I can't stay here and try to convince you to talk about your dreams for I don't know how long. When you'll be ready, you'll talk. Now, I have something to do." she stood up and walked towards the wardrobe.

I sat up on the bed. "Padmè, please don't get mad! It's nothing, really!"

She shook her head. "I'm not mad. I know you, when you don't want to talk, you don't. It's fine because I know you're going to feel guilty about it and by the end of the day you'll tell me. Don't worry..." she said pulling something out of a closet.

"Oh really? We'll see about that!" I laughed a bit then stood up and stretched.

Lately the aftermaths of that kind of dreams had become easier to deal with and it usually took about five minutes to get my mind clear of the dreams and start my day without any further complications.

It seemed like all the work on myself was bringing its fruits in the end.

"Don't worry, you won't last long." she repeated with a smug smile on her face.

"Wanna bet?" I asked grabbing my shorts and a clean t-shirt from another closet.

"No way! I never bet on anything! Last time I made a bet it was with my sister and I lost!"

"What did you bet on?" I asked as we arrived in the kitchen.

"About us getting married. With my sister. She said we would get married in less than a month since the day we arrived her and we got married exactly thirteen days later. It was the last bet I ever made!"

About an hour later we'd had breakfast and were about ready to go. Padmè was packing the last things and I was checking on the speeder when I heard Artoo slowly coming down the hallway to the garage.

_Are you going out today? _He beeped.

"Yes Artoo. I don't know where, but we're going out."

_I just checked the weather forecasts and they say it might start raining in the region. Be careful! _

"Whoa, thanks for the advice Artoo! I really appreciate that!"

He seemed to get all excited about that. _I wish Threepio could have heard this. Even after the memory wipe, he still thinks it's impolite to warn our masters about this kind of things!_

I laughed softly. "You know, when I built him I had no idea he would turn that annoying. Thank the Force he has his good moments!"

_Yep. Anyway, I wondered I could turn off for a while today, when you're out, and recharge a bit!_

"Of course you can! You don't even have to ask! Anyway, it's been a while since I checked on you, if you don't mind, tomorrow I can do it!"

_Seems fine to me. As long as I don't take time from your family._

"Artoo, please, don't make me repeat things. You are part of the family. Period. It might be a fine occasion to teach the kids how to clean a droid!"

Not long after that short conversation, Padmè and the kids arrived and we rushed out of the garage and headed for the open country, following a small dirt road. With the kids safely strapped in the backseats, I was allowed to push on the gas a little more than usual and we all enjoyed the warm wind. It was a very bright day, the sun shone high in the sky and even if the forecasts predicted rain for the next few days, there wasn't a cloud in the sky. Only an infinite expanse of clear blue sky and all around us there were only mountains and vast grassy plains and nothing else. Not a sign of human life for miles.

And still I had the feeling I had already seen that part of the region. But I couldn't remember when!

"Mom, where are we going?" asked Luke, breaking the silence as if he had read my thoughts.

"A very special place...you'll see when we get there!" replied Padmè.

"Is it far?" I asked. We had been going for half an hour, I was wondering where we were going.

"No, about ten minutes. Don't worry, we're almost there!"

And ten minutes later she made me turn left straight into one of the meadows. Suddenly I recognized the place. While driving I hadn't noticed that on our left there was a huge waterfall, probably not a mile away from the road. We could hear the thunderous sound from there!

"The shaak field!" I snapped.

Smiling, Padmè nodded. "Exactly. I thought you would have liked it!"

"Of course I do! I mean, we had a wonderful day here...twelve years ago!"

"What did you do here?" asked Leia, suddenly interested.

"It was before the war Leia..." started Padmè. "Your dad was still a Padawan and he was my bodyguard for a while and we hid here. One day we decided to spend the day out and came here, well, we had fun!"

"Yeah, I acted like an idiot that day! I wanted to show off and I did in the most awful ways!" I replied as I parked the speeder just down a short slope.

"How?" this was Luke.

I hopped out of the vehicle and smiled. "You'll see."

And they did see!

We found a quiet spot not too far from the car and not too close to the lazy animals so we wouldn't disturb them and settled down for a pic-nick, just like twelve years before.

Padmè had prepared and packed enough food for both lunch and dinner, and maybe for a mid-afternoon snack too, so we weren't worried about it. The kids were all excited about the place, most of all when they discovered that the shaaks were rather docile and they could get closer and touch them without being hurt. They accepted the kids' presence without any problem, but with me, it was all a different matter.

I don't know how, but they somehow sensed I was a troublemaker and they tended to stay far from me. I was trying to repeat my stupid show off thing from twelve years before I could barely get three yards away and the animal would instantly get away as fast as it could.

At the fifth try I stopped, defeated, and returned to the trio waiting for me. "Sorry, I guess I can't repeat the deed!"

"Seems like they remember how bad you treated them!" replied Padmè.

"Maybe, I don't know. Too bad though, it would have been fun. Maybe I'll try later." I said. "Heck, it's hot in here!"

"Well, you know, it's summer! Last time we were here it was mid spring and it was a bit cooler." she replied sitting on one of the blankets we had brought with us.

"I think I remember. I had other thoughts going on at the moment but even with the Jedi tunic on I was rather fine!" I took off my t-shirt and instantly I felt a little better. Not much, I was still sweating as hell but well, at least I could feel the wind!

"What were you trying to do?" asked Leia.

"Ride them!" I answered as I sat down beside her. "Last time I managed to do it in a very spectacular way!"

I saw Padmè shaking her head. "You did ride them backwards and standing up! That was reckless, dangerous and scary, not spectacular!" she said, not a hint of amusement in her voice. "When you fell and the shaak ran over you I thought I would die!"

"Ah, and still you didn't want to marry me?" I said jokingly. "What an hypocrite!"

"I was not hypocrite! I was trying to be reasonable!" she replied. "And it took me a couple of days to change idea! That's all!"

"Yeah, two days, Geonosis and that run through the droid factory. I mean, she finally admitted she loved me when she thought we were going to die!"

The kids looked up at her with a questioning expression. "What?"

She shook her head as if to change matter but she actually answered. "It was on Geonosis, before what happened in the Arena. Remember last week at the beach?" they nodded. "There, right before they brought your father and I in the Arena for our sentence."

"Can you believe she was smarter than me and Obi-Wan? She found a way to get rid of the shackles way before we did!" that fact still amazed me. I knew she was a very intelligent person, thinking faster than anyone I had ever met but, hell, that day she really amazed me. "She had something hidden in her belt and pick-locked them like a very skilled burglar. It was incredible!"

She blushed slightly. I knew she had always tried to minimize her actions and she tried to highlight my own instead, but in the last year I had tried to do the exact contrary, telling them things they couldn't even imagine about their mother. I knew they were proud of me, mostly because of what she had told them about me, but I wanted them to know that their own mom was more than just a Senator and former Queen of Naboo. I wanted them to know that she was special, and not only for me, but in a much extended way. I wanted them to be proud of her, because she was the pillar that had supported me for two thirds of my life and that it was just because of her that I was still Anakin Skywalker and not Darth Vader.

I took a moment to look at her as she dismissed my compliments telling the kids that she had received a very intensive training when she was the Queen and she had learned how to survive in most of the situations, even the worst ones, it wasn't a matter of being smart or whatever. She was such a humble person in the end...if you get to know her very well, at least as well as I did, you could notice that underneath everything, the stoic countenance of the Senator and the aristocratic manners she used when she was out in public, you can find a very sweet, caring and independent woman. As independent as our love.

Independent because even if there had been, there were and there are still many odds in our story, in the end, it was only us. We didn't need anything else. It didn't matter if we were married or not, it was only a matter of make it official, and in the end I understood that getting married back twelve years before had been futile because I still loved her like that day, if not even more. It's not a dusty certificate that tells me how much I love my wife. We were over that thought. Even when Antilles had found out...it wasn't the fact that he had discovered our "affair", as he called it, that had made me angry, it was the fact that he didn't understand.

We were an independent family because we didn't need anything more than what we had. We had fought for this, and we had paid a very high check for this, but we had it, and the rest can go the fuck out of the window. We didn't care. Everything that came more than that was welcome, but, in the end, we were fine.

The whole morning went by as fast as a flash, right before we settled for lunch I managed to ride one of the shaaks though, catching one of them by surprise. I spotted one of them not fifty yards away from us and with a sprint that would make a professional athlete envious, I sprung up from my seat and ran towards it, then I literally jumped over it and it started running through the meadow trying to throw me off its back. He made probably a hundred yards before I jumped off of it, cartwheeling mid-air and landing on my feet probably five yards away from the shocked animal.

Much to the kids' amusement I reverently bowed after my stunt and walked back to them.

"That's what your father calls showing off." said Padmè before throwing my sandwich at me.

"And that's one of the things I do better!"

About an hour later, the kids had found something to do between the two of you and Padmè and I had a moment for us. She was laying on the thin blanket enjoying the warm sun and the cool breeze that was coming from the waterfalls while I was sitting beside her, slightly leaning back on my arms.

Suddenly I remembered the short conversation we'd had that morning right after she had woken me up. I looked up at the kids and saw them smiling and playing with each other happily. And instantly my thoughts flew back to Aleha and Hilean. It was becoming a sort of obsession. I had everything I wanted and they had nothing.

It wasn't fair.

And then I felt the sudden urge to tell her the subject of my dreams. I took a deep breath and started.

"Padmè, I..."

"You're ready to talk about your dreams?" she finished my sentence.

"Yep, I do!"

"Good." she grabbed my arm and dragged me down so I was lying beside her. "Start from the beginning."

"Ok. About a month ago I had a dream. It was about Jax Pavan." I started.

"Hilean's father?" she asked.

"Yes. Him. He was a good friend of mine when we were younger but with the war and everything we lost every contact. Then, well, with Order 66 and everything...anyway, I saw him. He was scared to death because he was battling with Vader on Coruscant, I don't know why. I know he mentioned the pyronium crystal I gave him when we were teenagers."

"Isn't pyroniumt that extraordinary metal that's capable of absorb electromagnetic impulses?" she asked curiously.

"Yes, it is. It wasn't a big crystal, about the size of a marble but still it's very valuable and I fear Vader wanted to use it to upgrade his suit. By the way, I woke up before I saw how it ended, but I know he survived." I told her. "I didn't have any dream about him until this morning. But I didn't see him, I saw three Imperial Inquisitors speaking about how to find him and kill him."

She looked at me and sighed. "No wonders you were so scared then!"

"Yeah, it didn't feel good, being there and listening to what they were planning. Even if they didn't have anything ready..."

"So they don't know where he is?"

I shook my head. "No. Last time he was seen was six months ago, at least they said so. They are going to multiply the efforts to find him though."

We remained silent for a moment before she broke the silence.

"Why do you think you're having these dreams?"

"I don't really know. Maybe it's the remorse."

She sat up and looked down at me with a strange expression on her face. "Remorse? For what?"

"For this. I mean, all of this! Look at us! We might have some tiny little logistic problems but at least we're together! We're a family! Think about Aleha and her daughter! They don't have nothing! Hilean is barely six years old and she already knows what death is because the best thing her mother had to tell her about her dad is that he's dead! Every time I see Hilean down on the training ground I feel like someone is smothering me from the inside, and that's because I feel like I owe so much to them...and somehow I regret I have everything I want, when they don't have anything!" I pulled back my hair from my face. "It's unnerving, to say the least."

"I can imagine..." she grabbed my hand and held it tightly. "What are you going to do?"

I shook again my head. "I don't know. I mean, I think I know, but I want to think about it a couple of days more before I decide. We still have thirteen days here. I'm going to use that time for this."

"You know you can always talk to me. We can try to figure out something together."

Damn, I think I've never been so thankful to anyone for a simple sentence. Not even when she had accepted to marry me.

"Yeah, I think it will be better. But if you don't mind I prefer think about it by myself for a couple of days more. Maybe I can figure something out and we can work on it together!"

She leaned closer to me and kissed me. "Everything you want Anakin. I'm here if you need anything I'm here, you can talk to me anytime!"

"I know Angel...I know."

* * *

_Second chapter in a row. I told you, in the end I would have started writing faster! I cut many of the other activities except university and writing and now I can produce a little faster. Maybe because I spend three quarters of the day at the hospital with my mother and she sleeps most of the time, and what the hell can I do then? Fortunately, I can connect through the university network and I have internet for free even here! Anyway, it's really late here, it's two and half in the morning, I'm on the night shift and there's an alarm coming from another room that won't stop screaming so I can't sleep fine. Not to mention that the chair I'm sitting in is extremely uncomfortable...and it feels like living on Tatooine in this room! I mean, it's April and they still keep the heating working. It's a waste of money, because it's warm outside, even at night. _

_Anyway, let's get back to the story. Slowly it's starting. With the next chapter I will set another tile down and then...well, you'll see. It's going to be tough to write, but I trust I will do a good job, mostly because this story was specifically created to fit the ending and the characters as they are now, I don't need to make them evolve as I want, like I did with Over The Hills. They are here now, they will grow that's sure, but I have more solid bases this time. _

_Hope you liked it. See ya!_


	7. Hey Moon Please Forget To Fall Down

**Chapter 7 – Hey Moon Please Forget To Fall Down **

As Artoo had predicted, or better, the forecasts, we were on our way back when clouds started gathering behind the northern mountains and by early evening it started raining really hard on the whole region. Temperature dropped enough that we had to add covers to our beds and most of all Leia's one. She was kind of rather sensitive to cold and she didn't like it much. She preferred warm places and stuff like that.

Late that night, after the kids had gone to bed, I was washing the dishes of that day and that dinner and thinking. I was alone in the kitchen, Padmè was upstairs taking a shower and I was alone down there, so I had the chance to let my mind wonder for a while.

And without any doubt my thought drifted back to that afternoon, when I had confessed what was indeed troubling me. I had expected Padmè to be a bit angry that I had hidden something like that from her for so long, but instead she was just calm and she had perfectly understood my concerns and why I hadn't talked about it before.

In the end, even for me, one single dream about a special subject didn't mean much, I had thought it was just a sporadic dream. A creepy sporadic dream, but still a one-time only.

Then that morning everything had changed, and I had needed some time to realize it.

Jax was in great danger. The same danger I had been for a year, with the only difference he was out there on the run while I had been somewhat safe and sound on Dxun and then on Dantooine, with people willing to help me and supporting me when I felt down.

He had nothing of this. He didn't even know he had a daughter. He didn't know he had a woman that loved him with all her might that was waiting for him.

And that feeling of unfairness still hit me hard every time I thought about it.

I was putting the now clean dishes back in their cabinets when Padmè walked in.

"How are you?" she asked softly, sitting at the table behind me.

"Not bad. I mean, I feel better now that I talked to you finally this afternoon." I replied closing the cabinet in front of me. "In the end you were right."

"Well, I'm right most of the time in your regards. Not always, but rather often. Do you mind if I make some tea?"

"Of course not!" she gestured to stand up but I stopped her. "Stay there, I'm preparing it." I took the kettle out of one of the cabinets, filled it and put it on the stove. "It turned out to be a rather strong storm, don't you think?"

She looked out of the window. The summer rain had become a huge downpour with thunders and lightnings and the raindrops were sliding down the windowpane. We could see part of the garden being bashed by the wind and the water...fortunately we had managed to get home before it had started raining.

"Yep, it might happen here in this region. Summer is a very erratic season for weather."

"Artoo said it might even last for some days, so we're stuck in here for I don't know how long."

"It will be a good chance for you to think about Jax." she said.

I looked up at her and sighed. "I guess so. I...I'm sorry if I hid it from you it's just that I hadn't thought it would become a recurring dream!"

Silently she stood up and hugged me. "Anakin, don't worry! It's not like nine years ago! These dreams don't shock you anymore, at least not like at the time. Take all the time you need and when you're ready to talk about it, I'm here!"

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, resting my cheek on her head. "I don't know what I would do without you!"

Her hold tightened a bit. "Every day I wonder the same thing, and the only answer I can give myself is that I would be lonely and miserable. That's all."

It was pretty much what I thought but I always added another adjective: without her I would be lonely, miserable and a Sith.

Next morning, when I woke up, it was still raining. Not as hard as the night before, but it was still pouring. Therefore, we were bound to stay there at the house that day. And probably even the next one.

We were having breakfast when I proposed a lesson on a lesson on how to clean a droid. While Luke seemed really interested, it didn't meet the same kind of reaction from Leia. Well, I could understand that. She wasn't that much into technology stuff but in the end, after some pleading from Luke she agreed. Apparently, Luke had a great influence on her. She didn't want to disappoint him at least as much as he didn't want to disappoint her and in the end, even if she wasn't interested or else, she would always do stuff with her twin brother. They were incredibly close, even at an age when boys and girls tended to avoid each other as much as they could.

When we gathered in the garage, Artoo was working on the hyperdrive of the ship. When he saw us, he whistled cheerfully his welcome in his own reign, as he called it. The twins greeted him as cheerfully as he stopped his work and put his retractable soldering gun back into his body.

"So, ready for a clean up?" asked Luke.

Probably exaggerating his feelings and reaction, he started shaking and chirping like mad while I prepared a couple of things to clean that tin barrel.

"Seems like he is!" said Leia.

"Sure he is!" replied Padmè. "Last time someone cleaned him up was when he short circuited three years ago on Tatooine, while working on a vaporator!"

"Who cleaned him?" I asked sitting before Artoo who had readily rolled over towards the workbench. It wasn't as furnished as mine back on Dantooine but at least it had the stuff we needed.

"If I remember correctly Obi-Wan but it might even have been Owen... I can't remember." she said as she sat down on a stool beside the workbench. "It seemed there was some carbonite stuck somewhere...I can't really remember!"

"Well, it seems like he did a great job in the end. Now, first things first...what do you know about droids?"

They shrugged their shoulders. "Not much. Uncle Owen told us something but not much...we know they are essential because they do many things that are impossible for us and...well, nothing else."

"Alright, fortunately, you don't need to be a robotic-engineer to clean a droid." I opened one of the doors on Artoo's barrel-like body and looked inside. "Come here. We're lucky he's not been in harsh environments too often since he was cleaned but if you look closely here..." and I pointed on the internal wall of the droid. "There's a lot of dust that might cause some troubles."

"Yep, if it gets into the wiring it might corrode the alloy and cause another short circuit. Most of all it's not simply dust but it's a mix of metallic or acid residue." said Leia as if it was totally normal for a nine years old girl to know stuff like that!

Three pair of eyes set on her. "How do you know these things?" asked Luke.

"I don't know...I think I read it somewhere..."

I looked over at Padmè and she was as incredulous as I was. "You've been reading stuff about acid residues and wiring alloys?" she asked.

"I was bored last year when we were on Naboo during the Daltarra attack, I found a book and read it, that's all! And I don't mind stuff about chemistry...it's interesting!"

"You've been going through Sola's books again?"

"Yep...her job is really interesting, you know?"

Sola was a civil engineer with a master in high-profile construction, which meant she designed buildings like plasma extraction plants, stuff like that. It was an interesting job that required extensive knowledge of chemistry and there were plenty of books on the subject back at home on Naboo but I had never thought that a kid could want to read one of them!

"Wow...what else do you know about wiring alloy?" asked Luke, truly interested in his sister's readings.

"Well, I know that Artoo's wiring is pretty much perfect because dad worked on him and upgraded it over the years but the standard wiring of this kind of droid is rather sensible to high temperatures. I know that he's a little subject to short circuits though, because of a tiny factory defect that it's impossible to change."

Wow. No I mean, really, wow! And they said they didn't know much about droids!

"Ehm Leia, are you sure you don't really know much about droids?" asked Luke, in total disbelief.

She shrugged her shoulders. "I can't build one if that's what you mean but unlike you I actually read stuff instead of just looking through the pages!"

I had to force myself not to laugh because that the look on Luke's face was absolutely hilarious.

"Thanks Leia, that was very nice of you!" he snapped back.

The day was starting out just perfect!

A couple of hours later we were almost over and the kids were getting a little tired of the boring part of the job so I let them go so they could get cleaned up before lunch and Padmè went with them to start preparing lunch.

I was just cleaning the optical visor when Padmè entered with a tray in her hands. "I thought you might have been thirsty."

"Thank you, I really am." I replied as she placed a glass of juice on the workbench beside me. "By the way I'm almost done here."

"Good, because lunch is almost ready and I was about to send the kids to call you."

"Fantastic...oh, before I forget...when did you start calling them Squids?" for the first time I actually remembered to ask her. It was a cute nickname, but I always wondered what had generated it.

"Well, actually it started out as a nickname only for Luke, when he was about four months old he started squirming like a squid every time I tickled him, while changing him. He was really cute, all smiling and giggling! So I started calling him Squid and in the end I used it even for Leia. That's it."

Well, nothing special, but at least now I knew it! "Thanks, I've always wondered when you started calling them like that."

"And why have you asked only now?"

I shrugged my shoulders and closed Artoo's body. "I've always forgot to ask!" I replied. "I'm always so busy that when I remember I wanted to ask you about that, I forget it two minutes later!"

She shook her head and smiled. "Well, now at least you know. Come on, it's time to get cleaned up!"

I spent the next couple of rainy days trying to figure out what to do next. We had a whole week ahead before we had to return to Dantooine and I still had five weeks of suspension after that. Five whole weeks.

And still I was wondering what I had to do.

I mean, I knew I had to do something because I knew that if I didn't one day or another I would have exploded like that morning with Antilles but I didn't know how to do it!

I couldn't just leave and go looking for a friend throughout the Galaxy for five weeks! I had responsiblities after all! People that needed me back on Dantooine, even if I had been suspended! Most of all towards my family! I couldn't just leave them behind and fly out! It wasn't just possible! There was no way I would have left them after everything I had done to find them. No fucking way!

Fortunately, Padmè didn't insist and she left me alone when I needed it, thinking and brooding over the whole situation.

It wasn't only the fact that I felt really bad about Aleha and Hilean, and of course Jax.

It was most of all the knowledge that if I didn't do anything I would probably start acting like when I had those dreams about my mother, or about Padmè.

Up to that moment I had only experienced two dreams and the last one had given me the certainty that Jax was alive, even though it had been a very disturbing dream.

They might have stopped there.

Or maybe not.

And the last option made me shiver.

If the dreams went on and I didn't do anything about it I was screwed. I knew what kind of influence those dreams had on me, I knew that side of my personality fortunately, I had come to know it perfectly during the years.

But on the other hand, if those dreams stopped and nevertheless I decided to go looking for Jax for those five weeks that remained for my suspension, I would probably jump straight into a hell of a trouble, putting my life in danger and risking my life, possibly for nothing.

It wasn't an easy decision. I had to consider every tiny detail and try to weight them up in order to make the right choice.

The problem was that I was confused about it.

On one side, there were huge incentives: first of all, those dreams would stop. Second, I would have a very close friend back and third, he would get to know his family and luckily he would experience the same things I did when I first met my children.

One action that could lead to three different and obviously good results.

On the other hand though, there were some odds too. I had five weeks to find a man that had been in hiding for nine years and had managed to elude Imperial Inquisitors so many times they couldn't count them. And if I started going after him, I would probably get some attention over me and there were chances the Empire would discover that I was indeed alive and kicking and they would go looking even for me. And I wouldn't probably find him!

And that was what could have happened if I decided to act!

If, otherwise, I decided not to act and stay back at the base for the remaining weeks of my suspension, I had only one read ahead of me: the dreams would probably go on and I would become angry and frustrated. If the dreams got worse, like showing Jax in danger or dying, I would probably go crazy in the span of a couple of weeks.

And THAT was something I wanted to avoid in every possible way.

After a couple of days of brooding over it I thought I had come to a choice. I had decided not to give in to the dreams just yet and talk to Obi-Wan before acting, but a dream changed everything. It wasn't much, it wasn't even about Jax, at least it didn't revolve around him. It was more like a sequence of uncontrolled images from my past, a snapshot from here and there, from my childhood on Tatooine and most of all memories from my teenage with Jax and the others at the Temple.

It reminded me what kind of man was Jax. He was kind, gentle, he never lost control even if sometimes he had all the rights to do it. You could trust him in every situation, if he said he would help you, he would really help you with all he could, and sometimes even with what he couldn't.

I missed him.

Really.

The next evening I was sitting underneath the colonnade watching another northern downpour literally shaking the lake in front of me. It was really a wonderful show. The forces of nature unleashed over such a tiny zone...and the next morning, everything would go back to normality. Not a sign of the hellish storm going on in that moment.

I again in a deep state of meditation, brooding over and over the matter, when Padmè appeared beside me.

"I thought you would enjoy something out here." she said handing me a bottle of beer.

"Hey there, thank you!" I accepted it heartily. "How did you know?"

She pulled a chair from the garden furnishing and sat beside me. "I know you don't drink much, but I know you like a beer or two when you're discussing with the others about the New Order. I thought you would appreciate something to drink while you're out here brooding."

I took a long sip and sighed. "I haven't been much of a great company lately, have I?"

"Who cares. You're doing it for a good cause." she replied softly. "Have you reached a decision?"

I shook my head. "I thought so, but tonight I had another dream and before you ask me what it was about I'll tell you it wasn't about Jax, it was about me. And that dream shook me again. I really thought I had it but now...I don't really know."

"What were you thinking?"

"I wanted to ask Obi-Wan before doing anything but...I don't really know."

She ran her fingers through my hair and smiled. "You'll find a way out. Don't worry. Why don't you sleep on it?"

"Not yet. I think I'm going to stay here for a while."

"Alright. Don't be long though. It's getting cold out here, I don't want you to get a fever." she leaned closer and kissed me before she headed inside the house.

"Don't wait for me awake!" I told her before she closed the door.

After that, I was alone.

Again.

It was only me and the storm only yards away from me.

It wasn't bad in the end, it was a good place and time to think. The storm outside somewhat mirrored the uncertainty in my mind. It might be a little cliche but I swear it felt like the weather wanted to demonstrate how I felt that night.

There's not much to say about those hours.

I actually never went to bed. I just remained there, sitting on that rather uncomfortable chair, my eyes fixed on the dark horizon ahead of me but without seeing it. I let my mind wander, make plans, destroy them and retry.

I tried, I failed. I tried again, I failed better.

Nothing to report, really. My mind was full of so many options, possibilities, variables and wild cards, I didn't really know what to do. There was a huge mess. No better, a huge mass of thoughts boiling over themselves that I couldn't find a way through them and make up my mind.

I wanted to find Jax. I really did! But I didn't want to leave my family behind and that was the kind of missions that involved only me and no one else. Maybe Obi-Wan would have wanted to join me, but of course I couldn't risk Padmè's and the twins' life just for a crazy dream I had weeks before.

I didn't know what to do.

Actually I didn't even know what to think!

Probably I had even forgot how to do it that night.

About at three in the morning I looked up and saw a hole through the shroud of thick rainy clouds over the lake, and through it I could see the crescent moon peeking from it. It reminded me of an old song I heard during the war. It was a rather good one, a catchy ballad that had lyrics that described a very strong feeling that was rooting in my heart as minutes went by. I didn't want that night to end. I wanted to stop the moon from going down behind the mountains.

It was impossible, and I knew it, but if it had happened, I would have been really happy about it.

In the end, just as the first rays of dawn showed up behind the mountain tops, I just decided it was time to get up from that chair. I had been sitting there for I don't really know how long and my neck and back were as stiff as a rock. I wasn't young anymore, spending the whole night sitting in a chair when outside it's cold and humid really hurt me. And I was thirty two. The war and the prison had really fucked me up!

Anyway, I stood up and stretched a bit, then I walked towards the balcony. It had stopped raining about two hours earlier and I could see that hole in the clouds had widened enough so I would certainly see the sunrise.

I leaned on the stone railing and sighed. I had to find a way out of it and had to do it before Padmè would get up.

"You've been up all night."

Too late.

I turned around and saw her on the doorstep, still in her nightgown and robe. She looked like twelve years before, when she had come out of the same door, after an almost equal sleepless night, right before we left for Tatooine. Two days before the beginning of the Clone Wars.

I turned back towards the lake and nodded. "Yep. The problem is that I haven't found a solution yet! I'm stuck here on a thought and I can't get it out of my mind."

"Would you like to share it?" she asked softly, as she appeared beside me.

"There's not much to share actually. I've been up all night and the only certainty I have is that I can't be sure of anything now. I'm stuck here!"

I heard her sigh as she leaned on the railing, watching the lake in front of us.

"You want to go looking for him, don't you?" she asked somewhat cold and stern, it was more a statement than a question.

I nodded. "Yes. I think it would be the only safe choice"

"Safe?"

"You know how I behave when I'm having this kind of dream...I fear I would slip again towards the Dark Side if I don't act."

She made a strange face. "I understand. That's why you're so worried about these dreams."

"Exactly." I replied. "When I had those dreams about my mother I didn't act and you know what happened. When I had those dreams about you I was lucky enough to see through the shroud of lies that Sidious had created but I was really one step away from crossing the line! Now...I'm torn."

"Why? You want to go looking for a friend! I can't see how it can be a bad thing!"

"Padmè, I might have changed but I still have to be careful. I have to think to everything I do very carefully or I risk to start behaving strange and hectic like nine years ago. And that's something I don't want to experience again."

We remained silent for a while, just watching the lake in front of us, as the reddish rays of light of dawn played on the water surface, creating some incredibly beautiful reflections effects on the wall underneath us.

"Also I don't want to leave you alone again." I added after a couple of minutes.

"What do you mean, you don't want to leave me alone?"

"I don't want to start something that could put my life in danger. I can't leave you and the twins alone again, after everything you went through. I swore to myself I would never disappoint you anyway and I won't start today just because I'm having that kind of dreams again!" I told her, snapping a bit.

"Anakin, what are you talking about? You're not leaving us! You're going to help someone I don't care if you have to leave for a while!"

"It's not only that! I mean that I would be going against the Imperial Inquisitors and probably Vader himself!"

Her expression changed slightly. "You fear they might try to turn you again, don't you?"

"Yep. That's why I don't know what to do! I mean, I know what I want to do, but I don't know if it is the right choice, knowing myself!" I let my head drop down on my hands and sighed. "Shit, I thought I could reach a decision earlier!"

She took my hand in hers and smiled. "Anakin, just the fact that you can't decide as fast as nine years ago is a sign of how much you matured during these years. You're not rushing into things anymore, and you should consider that, in order to make a decision."

I shook my head. "I know that, it's just that even if I'm more controlled and most of all I tend to think more than years ago, I still can't change who I am! I mean, I'm impulsive and tremendously reckless. I still can't trust myself to this point, that's why I'm not sure."

She made me turn around and hugged me tightly. "You want to find Jax, don't you?"

I nodded against her hair. "Yes, I do."

"But you don't want to leave me and the kids alone."

"Exactly."

"Because you fear that if you meet Vader again he would try to turn you to the Dark Side or that he will kill you."

"That's what blocks me!"

"Then why don't you go with Obi-Wan! I doubt he will refuse if you ask him!"

It was so easy I hadn't even thought about that possibility.

I mean, I had the solution at hand and I hadn't talked to her about it for days.

I felt really dumb in that moment.

"You're a genius!"

She chuckled a bit and shook her head. "No, I'm not. I just trust you and your judgment. If you say you're too unsure to go alone, then don't do it! Ask him and I swear I'll kick his ass if he won't come with you!"

"I still think you're a genius and thank the Force you are my personal one! I don't know what I would do without you!"

"I told you, you'd me a miserable man. Now, feel better?"

"Yes, thank you." I held her tightly and just enjoyed the moment, letting the worry flow away and be replaced by relief. I really felt a lot better now that we had found a solution.

We hadn't noticed but the sun had appeared behind the mountains but on the other side of the lake, thick clouds had gathered and now it was raining again altogether. It was a strange and peculiar condition, when sun and rain coexisted, most of all if it happened at dawn. And with a setting like that, it was absolutely magical.

It was one of those spectacular red dawns, when the sun was really red. Sometimes it happened even on Tatooine but it was more common at dusk. The lake seemed to be on fire and you could literally call it a red rain, because it seemed like molten fire pouring over the lake.

Absolutely wonderful.

And inspiring.

Too bad it inspired me nothing but naughty things.

Really naughty things...

"Wanna do something really really stupid, childish and incredibly foolish?" I said breaking the silence.

"Of course I do!"

We rushed inside the house and changed in our swimsuits then ran out and dived into the lake straight from the balcony.

"Fuck it it's cold!" I almost screamed when I emerged from the water.

"What were you waiting for? Thermal springs?" replied Padmè about a couple of meters away from me. "It's a lake Anakin!"

"I know it's a freaking lake! And it's just feel awesome!" the rain wasn't coming down that hard and it really felt good. "Wanna swim up to that island?"

"Nah...it feels good here." she said hugging me from behind.

"I bet it does! You have finally found a solution to my problems! I just feels great!"

We both looked east as the sun rose slowly above the mountain tops and sighed. "You know, some hours ago it stopped raining and the clouds opened enough so I could see the moon. For a moment, I wished it would forget to go down."

"So you would have had more time to think?" she asked facing me.

"Not only for that. Most of all because I wished we could stay here forever." I confessed.

"We could if you want to. We can go back to Theed and live with my parents, and we can still be part of the Alliance if you want to!"

"No Padmè, we can't. We can't put your parents in danger by staying there, Naboo is still an Empire-aligned planet, it's too dangerous. We must just be patient and one day we'll be free do do whatever we want. We just have to be patient."

She kissed me briefly and smiled. "You see? You've really become a wise man, Anakin. Don't doubt about it. You might still need some guidance, but you have really grown Anakin. Much more than what you think!"

"Are you really sure I can go? I mean, I don't want to leave you and the kids if you don't want to."

"It's not like you're leaving forever or for doing something stupid! You want to look for a friend, possibly save him from the Empire. I can't blame you for that! And I can't stop you, because if I were you, I would do exactly the same thing!"

"I still can't believe it. I mean, I had the solution at hand all the time and I didn't ask you!" I snapped after a while. "I'm an idiot!"

Laughing softly, she ran her fingers through my drenched hair and pulled it back from my face. "You're not an idiot. You're just a man, that's it!"

She let her hand slowly run down my back to the hem of my swimming trunks. She had something going on in her mind, I could read it on her smug face.

"What do you mean, I'm just a man?" I asked, smiling myself.

"I mean..." and I felt her nimble fingers playing with the soaked cloth. "That you're a man and I've never seen a man go and ask for help in this kind of matters. That's all."

She was right. Yep, definitely. At least, I never asked for help in that kind of situation, and well, probably if I had, many things would have been different.

"Alright alright. I give you that. But I dare to say your life would be miserable without this grumpy, boring, man!" I told her while toying a little with the string of her bikini top.

"I've never said you were boring and grumpy, you will never be actually. Still, without you, life would be really crappy. I've lived a crappy life for seven years, without you, and I don't want to repeat the experience."

"I'm sorry I hurt you..." I murmured.

"Oh stop it Anakin! You don't need to be sorry for anything! I told you countless of times that I understood why you did it! And I'm thankful for that!" she said. "You saved my life, and the kids too. Now shut up and kiss me Jedi!"

"As you wish Senator!"

No need to tell what followed.

And with that setting, it was simply magical.

And something else too.

* * *

_It took me a while to write this. Almost a week. It was an important chapter so I wanted to write it carefully. I hope I did a good job. I mean, a very important part of the story starts here. And I wanted it to be clear. _

_Anyway, things are getting better and better every day here, my mom's fine and next week she's going to start chemio. I still spend a lot of time at the hospital so I have lots of time for writing but at least we don't have to stay here at night anymore. I guess it's a good thing. _

_So, I hope you liked it, see ya soon!_


	8. The Start Of It

_I'm adding a new tiny character to my story. I created it, she's not in the canon universe. She's mine. She's only nominated here but the next chapter is almost all hers. Have fun!_

**Chapter**** 8 – The Start Of It**

The rest of the week went by fast. Too fast for my tastes.

I had just settled with a plan for the next weeks and we already had to pack our things because we had to return to Dantooine. And I have to admit that I wasn't that happy.

On Naboo it was mid summer, it was warm, the place was hauntingly beautiful and peaceful, on Dantooine it was indeed summertime but heck, the base was just plain and boring. We had even been forbidden to repeat our limmie tournament since there had been many sightings of Imperial people not too far from the base.

Too bad. It was fun. I mean, it was something different from the routine of a "military" base, like Antilles called it. It reminded me of my childhood, and not only me! Every kid that grew up in the Outer Rim knew how to kick a ball and score a goal, we were no match for those coming from other parts of the galaxy. Somehow, it was too easy to win for us, maybe someone had whined about it and they stopped us! I don't know, it was fun in the end, even if I was one of those players always harassed by the referee because it was common knowledge that I was a Jedi and they feared I would cheat.

Anyway, I was checking if any of us had left something in wardrobes or closets when I found myself looking out of the window of the kids' bedroom. I had the strange feeling that the next time I would have set foot there, everything would have changed completely, like a total different situation or occasion. I don't know, it felt like we were leaving that place as different people ourselves, it felt really strange.

I had a lot of time to think about what I wanted to do. I had come to a decision and Padmè had helped me throughout the whole process supporting me and, in the end, giving me the best advice I could ever receive in that situation. It was time well spent indeed. Not only because I had all the space necessary to think clearly and not rushing things and decisions, but most of all because I had some quality time with my family, breaking the bad habit or seeing my kids only in official environments (I hated when they called me Master. being called Master Rosh by anyone, actually. I really hated it) or briefly after dinner. Those three weeks had given us the chance to bond even more. It felt good, really.

And now that our "affair" was public, maybe we could loose the leash a bit and act a bit more like a family. Well, of course we had to face the fact that Antilles would be still try to thwart us any way he could but, at least I had the feeling Darrick had been quite convincing while talking to him that day, three weeks before, when in the end he decided to reduce my punishment from suspension until further notice to two months.

I hoped he was more inclined to listen to our reasons, because we still had to wait five months before we could actually get married. Five months with Antilles watching every move we made might turn out to be very stressful. Very stressful, most of all because he in charge of the base and everyone in it, therefore, he could decide to do whatever he wanted with me. Well, except that he couldn't kill me...

We all left a piece of our hearts there. We had three wonderful weeks in that place and I doubt we will ever forget about those magnificent days, even though right in the middle of our stay we had been forced to cut down our activities because of the relentless rain.

While I packed the suitcases back on the ship, most of all after I packed the last one in the compartment, I reached out to find another one, even if I knew there were only four suitcases on the floor beside me. It felt strange, really. That day I had a lot of strange ideas and feelings, not all of them were good actually.

The flight back to Dantooine was strangely silent and calm.

Even the kids had decided it wasn't the right moment to be noisy and stuff like that. They remained in the crew compartment and stayed there most of the time, while Padmè and I remained in the cockpit.

Six hours later, when we arrived at the base, we were greeted by a very happy and all smiling Obi-Wan.

"Welcome back!" he shouted above the noise of the hangar while we got off the entrance ramp. "I hope you had a good time!"

"Of course we had!" replied Padmè as I handed her one of the smaller packs. "How's life here?"

"As always. Just three weeks have passed since you left, we didn't have the time to do much." he replied cheerfully. He was really happy to see us. All of us. I'm sure he was really worried I would decide to do something really stupid, and the fact that we were all there reassured him a bit. After all, before we left for Naboo, I had told him about the dream about Jax and he was really worried I would embark in some kind of senseless quest.

Well, he was almost right.

"How are the younglings?" I asked.

"Not bad. They are working hard as usual. They missed you though. And Luke and Leia of course."

"Alright, I'll be back tomorrow for their training, I hope they won't miss me anymore! By the way, can we talk for a moment, after we're settled?"

He frowned a bit, but nodded. "Sure. I have to speak to Antilles now, he wanted to know when you arrived, so I'm going to tell him, but after that, I'm free as a bird. I should have helped Ahsoka with the new training class but I think I can get there a little later."

"Perfect. Where?"

"Training grounds in an hour?" he proposed.

"Deal. I'll be there."

An hour later, we were in the training facility. We borrowed a pair of sparring lightsaber, those the kids used for training without maiming the opponent, and believe me we were fighting like there was no tomorrow. Even the best fighters needed to take their skills out of the closet and take some dust off.

We were in the middle of a fast exchange of attacks when Obi-Wan jumped back and returned to the defensive position. "What did you want to tell me?"

"Remember about a month ago when I told you I had a dream about Jax?" I asked stepping forward and attacking him.

"Sure I do! That's why I feared you would do something foolish while on Naboo! I thought you would go looking for him!" he said deflecting my blow and trying to pierce my defense a couple of times before retreating.

"Nah, the most idiotic thing I did was launching in the lake at dawn. Anyway..." I parried his blow and tried to hit his right leg. "I decided I want to go looking for him. Wanna come with me?"

Instantly, he turned his lightsaber off. "What?"

"You heard me Master!"

"No actually no. I just heard – wanna come with me – but you spoke the same time our blades clashed, I actually didn't hear the rest."

I sighed. "I said I want to go look for him. Then I asked if you wanted to come with me!"

He shook his head and chuckled. "I had the bad feeling you would ask something like this, once you returned!"

"So? Are you coming?" I asked as I ignited my sparring lightsaber and attacking him again.

"Of course I'm coming! I wouldn't leave all the fun to you even if you tied me in here!" he replied deflecting my blow and attacking himself.

"Great!" I barely managed to dodge his strikes. "We will need some help though!"

"Of course we will! I'm calling a collective assembly for tonight!"

I turned off my weapon again. "No, not a collective. Don't call Aleha, I don't want to give her false hopes. Call the others though, we will need all the help we can find."

"It seems strange, hearing that we need help from you, you know that?" he asked folding his arms across his chest.

I nodded. "Yep, it sounds strange even for me but, you know, there's not much we can do alone! We really need some back up, if only from here."

"Good. So, I'm calling Ahsoka and Darrick. Where can we meet?"

"As usual, the pub in town would be absolutely perfect. What do you think?"

He nodded. "I agree. Alright, after dinner ok?" I nodded. "And bring Padmè. I have the feeling she has something to do with you asking me to go with you."

I chuckled a bit. "Perhaps..."

Later that night, right after dinner, we asked Aleha if we could leave the kids with the others that night so we could go out for some time. Of course she couldn't refuse and all the younglings were absolutely ecstatic to have Luke and Leia with them for one night and the twins were happy too to stay with their friends some more time. After years of being isolated and rarely meet someone of their own age, they finally had the chance to confront with other kids and they loved it.

They were the future of the Order after all, if they all grew up together, they would form very tight bonds of friendship and respect that they would rarely discuss or being in contrast.

Anyway, once the kids were safe and probably ready for bed, we met with Ahsoka upstairs. Darrick and Obi-Wan had already left so they could find a suitable table while she had waited for us. The ride was calm and uneventful, my former Padawan tried to tear out the reason of that unexpected meeting but we both remained silent until we got to the pub.

It was almost empty except for some usual customers that we always found there each time we went there for a drink. Well, it was to be expected in the end, it was the middle of the week and people preferred to go out during the weekend, not when they have to wake up at six the morning after.

We found Darrick and Obi-Wan chatting in front of what looked the first round of drinks, when they saw us they stood up and gestured to come over.

We had barely sat down in the booth when the bartender showed up for our orders. Padmè and I ordered our standard Corellian Ale, while Ahsoka went for something a little stronger. When our drinks arrived, Obi-Wan and I exchanged a glance and decided it was time to spill it.

"So, I guess you're wondering why we're here!" he started.

"And why you asked me to keep my sister in the dark!" added Darrick.

"I'm sure there's a good reason for that Master Kohr." said Ahsoka then, sensing the distress in his voice. He hated hiding things from his sister.

"Darrick, don't worry." stated Padmè. "There's a good motive if we didn't want her to be here. Just listen to Anakin, then you'll understand."

"Alright. Let's make it simple. All of you know that I have a certain predisposition for mindfuck dreams. I've always have since I was a kid but as I grew up, they got worse. They were the cause of my almost turn to the Dark Side and everything. Now, about a month ago I had a dream. It was nothing special but it was creepy. And it was about Jax!" as I mentioned his name, Darrick's expression changed completely, going from slightly annoyed to deeply concerned. I guess he understood why we had left his sister out of that meeting. "It wasn't such a great situation for him, considering he was facing Vader but I'm sure he survived that encounter. It shocked me, I admit it, but it didn't become a recurring dream like the other times. It was an one-shot. Too bad that two weeks ago, I had another dream about him, but this time I saw three Imperial Inquisitors discussing ways and new methods to drag him out of hiding and find him. That's it."

Silence fell between us, for a moment.

"Wow..." snapped Darrick. "Wow, I mean...what the...I need something stronger!"

"Go for the ...Twister, it should do fine." joked Ahsoka.

"I'm a whiskey guy, I think I'm going for it." he replied. "But why didn't you tell us earlier?" he asked me then.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I didn't know it was important and most of all it wasn't a recurring dream until two weeks ago, when I was on Naboo. And even after that, it didn't show up again. That's why I'm telling you only now!"

"But why here?" asked Ahsoka. "Why the secrecy? I mean, I understand you didn't want Aleha to hear this but, why?"

I took a deep breath and sighed. "Because I want to go look for him."

Darrick had just received his glass of liquor and when I finished my sentence he just grasped it and shoved it down his throat. He was shocked to say the least. "Tell me this is just a joke!" he snapped.

I shook my head. "No, it is not. Obi-Wan and I will leave as soon as we have a plan and some information."

"Are you sure you want to spend your life looking for a ghost, Anakin?" he asked me, suddenly serious. "I mean, I spent six years trying to find him, from the moment Aleha told me she was pregnant and that Jax was the father. I've collected all the information I could about his sightings and everything. And I haven't found him yet. How do you think you can succeed where I and the Empire have failed?"

I sighed. He was right. In the end, I had only five weeks in front of me before my suspension expired. And now I discovered he had tried to track him down and find him. Even he had failed.

"Darrick, I don't know if I'm going to find him. I don't pretend to find him tomorrow, and since I have only five weeks before I must return to active duty here, I don't really think I will find him. But I'll try."

"Why are you doing this?" asked Ahsoka. "I mean, I know he was one of your best friends but...why now?"

I took a sip from my pint. "Remorse, most of all. Last year both Aleha and Hilean helped me a lot when I was depressed. Well, each time I see them I can't stop thinking that I must help them! Look at your sister! She's lonely and miserable every freaking day more because she loves Jax more than her life and he's not here! Ask Padmè how it feels! It feels like someone is chocking you slowly, so slowly you can't even notice it! And I can't stand seeing her so sad every day! I owe her! That's why I am at least trying to find him!" I told him. "And secondly, because Jax is a very good friend and I miss him, and I fear something bad will happen if I just stay here and do nothing. I have five weeks of suspension and I want to do something with that time!"

"And..." interjected Obi-Wan "You know how sensitive Anakin is about dreams. Maybe this time he's right and go looking for him is the best decision."

"That's the point. This time is different from the others. What I see is not death. I see danger, yes. I see plans to kill him, but I don't see his death! It's not like years ago. I think I can use these dreams to my advantage, in case more will come." I added. "For now, I'm sure of two things: Jax is alive and Vader wants him. But we can find him, I can feel it!"

Darrick shook his head and sighed. "Anakin, you're embarking on a very dangerous quest, you know that? Have you thought about it?"

"Two days and one sleepless night straight." said Padmè. "He thought about it, don't worry. He even asked for my advise in the end. It wasn't an easy decision, but he did think about it for once."

"Do you have a plan?" asked Ahsoka, finally convinced that I hadn't gone crazy and that I was serious.

"Sort of. I wanted to ask you if you wanted to back us up, in case we would need some help!"

"Then what were you thinking?"

"Easy. First of all we need to know exactly what the Empire knows. Even the tiniest detail. And we will probably need a very good hacker because we need a continuous flood of information." I said.

"I have your man then. Better, woman. Lysveet Selader, she's the best!" said Ahsoka. "I found her some years ago and discovered she's one of the best slicers of the Galaxy. Maybe you know her by her nickname: Asphyxia."

Silence fell in the room. Asphyxia? She was the scourge of any security system! Apparently, the only computer system that blocked her was the Jedi Mainframe! She was incredibly famous during the war because she apparently found funny to hack into the Separatists computers and change the droid orders. Nothing too bad, she didn't change their programming completely, but she added some very funny behavioral strings to their codes and made them act a little crazy from time to time.

Probably, if only she had decided to do more damage to their computers we could have won the war in the end!

"How did you find her?" asked Obi-Wan. We had witnessed her work in person, seeing some droids suddenly drop their weapons and run away from the battlefield with their mechanical arms up in the air as if they had seen a ghost.

"Actually, she found me. Remember when the Imperial Revenue System was broke into, four years ago? Well, she did it. She stole a huge amount of money and went looking for someone who actually deserved it. And she found me! I don't know how but she found me, she asked for a meeting on Corellia and she handed me a datapad with all the data necessary to transfer the money from a bank account to any account I wanted. When I asked her why she was doing this she said that she couldn't be an active party in the Rebel Alliance but she would participate on the digital side if we needed. I made some researches and discovered the Empire had murdered her mother and sister about six months earlier and I thought she wanted revenge somehow."

We couldn't believe it. Asphyxia had always kept a low profile, any Republican, and probably Separatist law enforcement had tried to find her during the years but she had always fled from them! She was an artist, not a simple slicer!

"Alright. When can you contact her?" I asked, instantly enthusiast about the news.

"Well, when we return to the base. Her accommodations are not too far from mine!" she said candidly, as if it wasn't important.

Darrick looked at her as if he had really seen a ghost. "Now that's the joke of the day! Come on! We've had Asphyxia in the base for how long?"

"About three years." replied Ahsoka.

"There, three years and no one knew?" we were completely caught off guard by the news but most of all Darrick. He was the recruiter after all!

"I did!" interjected Padmè. "Prestor informed me when she actually asked for shelter and they granted it. She stayed for a while on Alderaan and then they moved her here. She's part of the very first core of people who moved here. She's in charge of the computer security in the Alliance. She created the six firewalls that protect our mainframe and all our data, not to mention that she's developing a new cryptography system for our communications."

That evening was becoming more interesting and rewarding by the moment.

"Alright, we have the slicer we needed." I snapped, moving the subject of the conversation back to my so-called plan. "Once we have enough information I guess we'll go looking for the last place he has lived in for quite some time."

Darrick nodded. "I can help you with that. From my researches I discovered he owned a private investigation agency and that his one-room apartment served as his office too. He lived in the lower part of Coruscant and his apartment is still there, sealed."

"Did you go there?" asked Obi-Wan.

He shook his head. "Never. Last time I saw Coruscant was while leaving for the Outer Rim, right after Order 66. I haven't been there ever since."

"Then I dare to say we can start from there!" stated Obi-Wan.

I agreed totally. "Sure. Jax isn't stupid, he might be very good at hiding, but you know, when you hide, you must leave some tracks behind in case someone close to you needs to find you. He knows that and I'm sure he left something behind. Even if he didn't want to. He must have left a trace or something like that."

"Good luck finding them!" said Darrick bitterly. "I've tried but...damn he's really good at hiding!"

"And we're good at finding people." added Obi-Wan. "At least I am! He's good at protecting people though. I mean, he did a great job in the end!"

I sighed before finishing my beer. "Let's say that I do my best to protect those I really love! That's better!"

"Still you're a good bodyguard. Not as good as Aleha but really a good one." insisted my former Master.

"Come on now! Let's go back to our business!" I didn't like when people praised me. I mean, there wasn't much to be praised about. I didn't like it much. Not anymore at least.

"Yeah, you're right. What do you need after the hacker and all the information about Jax?" asked Darrick.

"Well, of course Aleha must not know about the real reason of our departure. I don't want to give her false hopes. It would destroy her."

"We can arrange that." replied Darrick. "I can find a very good reason for your leave, I just need a day to figure something out."

"Great. Make it easy though!" said Obi-Wan. "People will go and ask why two Jedi are gone from the base at the same time, I'd prefer if the reason for our departure will be easy to explain, like we're going to pick up some new Force sensitive children..."

"It will be done. Do I have to inform Organa?"

Padmè shook her head. "No need. I'll do it myself. I'll deal with the high ranks, don't worry."

"Ok. This is settled. There are a couple of dark spots to your plan though." said Ahsoka then. "First of all, Aleha isn't stupid. In the end she'll figure it out, you know how insightful she is! Second: what the hell are you going to tell to Luke and Leia? That their dad and their Master are just going away for a while without a reason?"

Padmè and I exchanged a worried look. "That's our main problem actually." she said softly. "They grew so fond of him they barely let him go for his job in the workshop. I don't know how they'll take it."

"They'll take it bad, that's sure." replied Ahsoka. "And it won't matter the fact that they'll be gone for five weeks only. Or what you will tell them about the reason of their leave. They'll be angry as hell!"

I nodded. "Yep. We have to come up with a great idea or otherwise they'll get really angry. And I don't want to upset them."

"Well, your plan upset him." said Padmè pointing at Darrick. "It will upset the kids too. They can't understand this kind of things!"

"Don't be too sure about that!" snapped Ahsoka. "They are smart kids. Smarter than the average. Probably if you talk to them quietly and explain the situation, they will understand. They will be upset, I can give you that, but don't underestimate your children. For what I've seen during this year, they are smarter than anyone in their class."

Obi-Wan nodded. "I agree. Don't give it for granted. You just need to talk to them! Do you remember when you first told them about Anakin and why he wasn't with you?"

She promptly nodded. "Of course. They were barely three years old and they understood perfectly well! Do you think they'll understand even this time?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. It depends on how you explain the situation. I would suggest to be completely honest with them, it should work good."

"Let's hope they can keep the secret though." said Darrick then. "Hilean is one of their best friends, I doubt they will hide it from her."

I shook my head. "I trust them. If we tell them to keep the secret, they will, I'm sure of it."

Darrick seemed unsure of my statement. "I don't know. I mean, I really appreciate your efforts but what if you don't find him?"

"At least I tried." I told him. "Remember when we started discussing why the Order had failed to notice the Sith's influences all around us? We all came to the same conclusion: we were too passive. We waited for the last minute to act and look where we are now? Here, probably half of what still exists of the Orders is sitting at this table. If I don't do something I will never know if I could have found him. If I do, well, I may be jumping straight into an ocean of troubles, but who cares! At least I can say I tried to save a friend."

He took a deep breath and nodded. "You're right. Sometimes, it's better asking for forgiveness than asking for the permission."

Obi-Wan chuckled loudly. "Well, at least this time you found a compromise between your reckless attitude and the Council's tendency to be passive to what happened in the Galaxy. I'm proud of you!"

"Thank you Master. So, what do you think?"

Everyone, including Padmè, were silent for a moment, thinking about the revelations and the news of the evening. The first who broke the silence was Ahsoka.

"I think that it might work. I mean, it's not one of those missions you can predict in every single aspect. You can design a plan but any moment something can happen and things can get nasty."

"That was our daily fix back when Anakin was my Padawan. We always found a way to get into huge troubles"! Joked Obi-Wan.

I couldn't agree more. "Yep. But this time we have a strong back up and we're not bound to any rule except not being caught. It should be easier."

Darrick was still unsure of it. "Yeah, it should but...we cannot support you in any moment. Once you're out there, except for information and logistic help we can't do much."

"That's more than enough Darrick." replied Obi-Wan. "This might not be the safest plan of the Galaxy, but it's a plan, and it well organized too, it's more than what I was expecting from him!" he said pointing at me. "We still need to define some details, but I guess that if Asphyxia can find what we need, that's a very good start!"

"Than it's sealed. Give us a couple of days and we'll go looking for Jax. We have five weeks from now to track him down and bring him here before the Inquisitors kill him. That's the start of it!" I snapped, gesturing to the bartender to bring another round of liquor to seal the deal.

By the time we left, about two hours later, we had come out with other stuff, most of all logistic matters, to allow us a safer and quicker trip around the Galaxy. Of course Artoo would have come with us, just in case. Ahsoka was in charge of contacting Asphyxia as soon as we got back to the base and Darrick would start working on our fake assignment the next morning.

It wasn't much, but it was something in the end.

It was a good place to start.

* * *

_Tiny little not so short linking chapter. I don't like writing them much because there's no challenge in them, but you know, I needed to find a way to tell Darrick and Ahsoka about the plan. After all, they're going to fly around the galaxy and leave them dealing with the kids! Not an easy job in the end! It's not my best chapter but I needed it. _

_Hope you liked it and see ya soon!_

_PS: Asphyxia...well, it's a sort of remake of a character from a book I read not too long ago. They made a movie out of it in Sweden and David Fincher is going to remake it Holliwood Style (and I fear it's going to be a crappy remake, full of dialogues and without the necessary moments of silence that a movie of that kind needs to be complete). It will be a minor character here, she will appear only a couple of times but the actual character I "abused" to create this one is the main protagonist of the book. I changed the name but if you read the book maybe you can recognize her, most of all from the nickname (that's completely different but it's still bound to her)._


	9. Wait For An Answer

**Chapter 9 – Wait for An Answer**

The next morning, right after breakfast, Ahsoka asked me to find Obi-Wan and meet her on the ninth level of the base. That was the place were all the administration stuff was performed. Re-stockings, dispatches and communications were sent or received then elaborated. Of course down there there were all the names of every rebel, the history of the whole Alliance and stuff like that.

And down there, in a tiny but well equipped office, practically lived Asphyxia, in her own world made of computers and security systems. Apparently, that was her own personal paradise, she couldn't live out of it, or without it.

When me and Obi-Wan arrived, Ahsoka knocked on the door and it opened a couple of seconds later.

The room was not that big but it wasn't so tiny as I had predicted. It was spotless clean, well lit and every wall was covered with metallic shelves filled with server terminals, computers, datapads, uninterruptible power supplies and portable energy cells, not to mention tons of circuits, motherboards and other components for computers and droids. Most of them looked to be spare parts, they were classified by role and type of component in big transparent plasteel boxes on a shelf beside her desk.

Well, what looked to be a desk.

That was a completely different part of the office, it seemed like the area occupied by the desk and the chair had been visited by a Tatooine sandstorm. There were three different monitors on the table and under it there were three more computers, all of them running. With there different keyboards and a big, ultra-accessorized control pad with a million of keys, she had control of every computer of the base if she needed to. The rest of the table surface was occupied by durasheets with printed orders or dispatches from every level of the base.

Behind the desk, facing the three monitors sat a woman who was probably my age with short spiky black hair, dark eyes and piercings all over her face. Nose, eyebrows, lower lip...the image of the hacking underground culture, from the few things I knew about it. She wore thin glasses with a red frame and matching headset with earplug and microphone. She was talking to someone about a malfunctioning computer on the Yavin IV base network and was giving tips about repairing it when we entered and we waited until the call was over.

As soon as she closed the call, she took off the headset and stood up. "I'm sorry for the delay, there was a broken server on Yavin. Welcome in my tiny universe, I'm Lysveet. Master Tano said I could help you. What can I do for you?"

We shook hands. "We need to find an old friend and we need every information we can find about him. He's been on the run for years now but the Empire is looking for him since Order 66. Do you think you can help us?" asked Obi-Wan.

She squinted her eyes for a moment as if she thought we were just crazy people but then she sat again.

"Who are you looking for?" she asked wearing the headset again.

"Jax Pavan, Jedi Knight." he replied.

She nodded then started making her magic with her computers. She silently worked for a minute or two before turning one of the monitors toward us.

"This is just the preliminary stuff I found. I've found two guys called Pavan, one is called Jaxen and currently lives on Coruscant, he's a Senate employee and one is called Jax, and he has a huge bounty on his head. I guess this is the one you're looking for." she said.

"Yep, it's him." I replied.

"Good. This is what I found for now. He's been seen six months ago then vanished again. They've been looking for him ever since and seemed like they intensified the surveillance of public transports in that part of the Galaxy."

On the screen appeared a blurry and rather unfocused still of Jax wearing a black leathery jacked and matching black pants and boots. I could tell the long jacket served to hide the lightsaber at his side. Beside the photo there was a list of sightings and a description of the wanted man.

"Give me some more time and I'll see what I can find." she said confidently. "Considering the holes in the Imperial databases it shouldn't take too long."

"Can we wait here?" I asked. I was curious to learn how she did her magics.

She shrugged her shoulders. "As you wish. It's a bit of a boring show though!" she agreed. "There are some portable chairs, in the storage room four doors down on the left. Make yourself comfortable."

We did as ordered and five minutes later, Obi-Wan and I were observing string after string appear in front of our eyes as she surveyed the initial security line of the Imperial database. She was fast as hell with her keyboard and the control pad. She used only one of the three computers in front of her. One was dedicated only to the surveillance of the digital systems of the base, the other was processing something I couldn't understand. She was probably running a diagnostic on something, at least the software had that kind of interface.

She worked silently, and we respected her silence reverently, just observing as she ran software after software, slowly breaking into every firewall.

After a couple of hours though, she leaned back on her chair and sighed. "I don't like this."

"What?" I asked looking at the screen.

"This." she pointed at a string of command on the black screen. "This shouldn't be here. I mean, not into a safe environment. It seems like someone has already cracked it and is now waiting for someone else to do it."

"To do what?"

She ran her fingers through her spiky hair. "I don't know. Maybe trace him. I'm trying to bypass this step but I risk to create a hole in my tunnel and the connection might crumble to pieces."

"Any idea?" asked Obi-Wan.

"Well, actually yes. But I need to ask for some help from a friend." she revealed.

Obi-Wan and I exchanged a worried look. "Can we trust him?"

She forcefully nodded. "Yes. I mean, he's the man that taught me everything, he would never betray my trust. Not to mention that he's not too fond of the Empire, since they took over his computer security agency three years ago."

"Wait a second, your teacher is a hacker who ran a computer security firm?" asked my own Master.

She nodded again. "Yep. Well, actually it's logical. He worked to protect computers against hackers, it's logical he needed to know how a hacker works. He never caused damage or anything, but we had fun together. I became a slicer years after he stopped teaching me. After the Empire took over his agency, he turned to slicing himself and I introduced him into a very restricted circle of hackers that from time to time have fun creating a mess in the Imperial systems." she told us. "We shared parts of the efforts in hacking the Imperial Tax System."

"He must be good then!" I said.

"Yep. One of the best. He's lately known as Rancor...maybe you heard of him."

We both shook our heads. "Never heard of him." said Obi-Wan. "But we've been out of touch with Imperial stuff for a long time you know."

"I see. So, can I call him?"

"Do whatever it takes. We need all the help we can!" Obi-Wan said readily.

Without further words, Lysveet opened another software and typed a code. She waited a couple of seconds then smiled. "Hey Rancor, who ya doin'?" she said.

She had contacted her former mentor through the computer. She quickly gave him the details (not all of them fortunately) of her hacking effort and what odds she had found then they started talking in a very tight hacker slang I couldn't understand a single word then she started typing again.

We never head Rancor's voice or talked to him but from what we could say as we saw his apprentice typing like mad on her keyboard that he was really competent in his field and that his help actually allowed Asphyxia to overcome that obstacle.

About an hour later she closed the call. "OK, now I'm inside. It took a while but it worked."

And she did it in two hours. I mean...wow!

"What was the problem?" I asked curious.

She shrugged her shoulders. "A corrupted gateway that caused some problems and I couldn't bypass from here. Rancor managed to create a safe passage so I could use it and get inside. Nothing too big, but you know, you're never too cautious with this kind of things, I mean, this whole network is blaster-proof but I'm always careful about it."

I nodded. "I see. So, you did find a way through the Imperial Network?"

"Exactly. I used the same passages, except the one created by my teacher, that I used four years ago when I hacked into it the first time. They added a couple of layers but in the end, computer security it's not their first priority and they never actually repaired their holes." she said as calm as a rock. "Now, what do we need to know?"

"Everything." I replied. "Everything from Order 66 up to now. And, if it's possible, we wanted to ask you if you could keep a close eye on every news about him when we leave."

"Sure. It won't be a problem. I just need to prepare a specific computer that will scan the Imperial Network for everything about him and then relay it to your computer. Like it?"

"Sounds absolutely fantastic." stated Obi-Wan, smiling from his chair. "I didn't know it was possible!"

Asphyxia chuckled and smiled slily. "That's just too easy. I just need to assembly a specifically built computer and it will be done. Don't worry about it, I can have it working by tomorrow!"

She was, better, she is because she's still alive and working, the best in her field. That was as sure as the Force!

Silently, she surfed the Imperial net looking for every possible news about him, information and reports, stuff like that. There was a huge backlog of bureaucratic stuff about him, one of them personally written and inserted by Vader, probably about the incident I had dreamed of. There were stills of every confirmed sightings caught on camera on many different planets and cities, many of them on Coruscant, and other things like that.

We just remained there, silent and waiting for an answer.

Suddenly, I recalled a detail of that dream.

"Does something mention a Pyronium Crystal?" I asked then.

She typed something then pressed a key and waited. She waited about thirty seconds before shaking her head. "Nope. Not a single mention."

I sighed in relief. "Good. At least that."

Asphyxia kept researching things for about half an hour, downloading a huge log of stuff into a high-density datapad so we could have what we needed at hand anytime, before something really interesting came up from her digging.

"Hey, I think you will find this interesting."

Both Obi-Wan and I stood up and walked closer to her workstation.

"This is the guy who's been assigned to your friend. Sahn Dalan, Imperial Inquisitor. This has been added to the network only yesterday. It's fresh news!"

There was a still this guy, probably a forty-something old man with blond slick hair and a slightly prominent chin. He wore the maroon colored uniform of the Inquisitors but instead of a long robe, he wore a more comfortable and fight-friendly flight suit. He didn't wear the typical hat of the other Inquisitors I had seen, he looked more like an action type than the usual intellectual one. In that particular still he was wearing all his medals and honors, they had taken it during an official meeting. He seemed to be a serious guy, one of those who never smile but his eyes told a totally different story. Even though he was keeping a serious countenance, probably for the sake of appearance, but his eyes were...I don't know, he seemed amused by something he had around.

Somehow, he reminded me of Aster, when he was younger. He had the same look, the same eager and amused look in his eyes every time I saw him, even if he had to keep a very serious tone and appearances.

I had the feeling he would have been a fierce opponent, in case we ever met them. And I didn't like it.

"What can you find about him?" asked Obi-Wan.

Ten minutes later we had enough material to write a biography of Inquisitor Dalan. He was one of the few non-Jedi Inquisitors that managed to rise in ranks faster than the average. He had joined the Inquisitorius about six years before and since he had been unleashed in the Galaxy, he had proved to be an incredibly skilled detective. He could smell lies a parsec away, or so they said. In six years of activity, he held the record of found and recruited Jedi. Once he was on someone's trail, he was like a bloodhound. He wouldn't let go. Rumors said he was a very skilled Force user but rarely used it, or his lightsaber. He had a sort of personal squadron of soldiers that followed him blindly and obeyed every order. They were hand picked clones that excelled in many fields, from close quarter combat to sabotage. He followed the trail, they brought the prey to him. Nice and easy, he used his brain, the others used their muscles. Very much like Sidious with Maul, Dooku and Vader now.

It wasn't good. Most of all when we discovered his nickname among the other Inquisitors.

The Jedi Hunter.

Obi-Wan and I exchanged a worried look. "This is gonna be tough!"

Six hours later, we had everything we needed and Lysveet was still working when we left. She paused only to pay a visit to the restrooms, but she worked even while she had lunch. She was amazing. I mean, I had never seen an hacker working, and she was one of the best in her field! After that minor accident with the corrupted gateway, she had managed to break into the Imperial net like it was a simple personal computer.

She was amazing, really. Not only she was an incredibly skilled slicer, but she was also a great programmer and a really easy-going woman. Once most of her job had been done, while she copied the terabytes of data she had found, we spent some time chatting freely and she was really a nice person, really humble despite the incredible deeds on her record. She was devoted to her digital world and the memory of the family destroyed by the Empire and nothing else. She had swore she would do anything she could to see the Empire crumbled to pieces and that's what she was doing. She was protecting us. And she was doing it just fine.

Well, actually, perfectly, considering that in four years she had developed a blaster-proof network that connected every Alliance base in the Galaxy and couldn't be detected. She was simply the best.

We were casually talking when we heard someone knock on the door. Lysveet pushed a button on the side of her desk and the door slid open, revealing Darrick in the door frame with a box in his hands.

"Oh, you're here. Good! I was going to look for you soon after this." he said stepping in.

"How can I help you Mater Kohr?" asked the young hacker standing up.

"First of all you can start calling me Darrick. I hate the -Master Kohr- thing, really. Second, I sent you a file that needs to be encrypted and then uploaded to these datapads." he handed her the box in his hands. It contained two brand new datapads. "And they need to be upgraded in security matters. You know, passwords, firewalls...stuff like that!"

"It will be done Mas..." she interrupted herself. "Darrick. When do you need them?"

"As soon as you can. Those two Jedi there..." he said pointing at us. "Will need them as soon as they can so they can leave fast for their mission. This is the fake description of the fake errand I gave them, so they have a reason to leave. You know, Atton Rosh here has been suspended and Colonel Antilles doesn't like him much. If I give them a reason to get away from here, he won't say a word."

"And what's this fake errand you gave us?" asked Obi-Wan folding his arms across his chest.

"You're going to take Aleha's place in searching Force sensitive kids. That's it. With only twelve hours to make a plan up, this is the best I could do. I really hope you're ok with that!"

"Of course we are! I mean, it's the perfect excuse to travel all around the galaxy for a while!" he replied.

"Good." nodded Darrick. "You're set to leave the day after tomorrow, mid morning. I've ordered to prepare an armored transport ship, with a small four posts crew cabin and heavy blaster turrets, just in case. You're going to take Artoo with you?"

"Of course!" said both Obi-Wan and I at the same time.

"Perfect. Because he's working on the ship to attune it and make some adjustments and I think he would be very annoyed if you let him here. Anyway, we'll have to replace the pilot seat and it might take some time. The last pilot was a little short and his personal seat is still mounted."

"Who was the him?" asked Obi-Wan, curious.

"Master Yoda."

Oh well, he definitely needed a special seat for him then!

Anyway, once we got out of that cramped but incredibly equipped office we had everything we needed and more, because we had found not only an incredible source of information and stuff, but a new friend and ally on our side. Lysveet, or Asphyxia as she preferred, was a very nice person, rare to find. She might look like a hardcore punk-ish girl, one of those you sometimes see out of nightclubs in the lower Coruscant, one of those you tend to avoid talking or even walking by, one of those you would never trust, but underneath the tough appearance and the piercings, there was a very competent, nice and easy-going woman.

The exact opposite of the stereotype she incarnated.

When we left her office, she gave us her direct communication code, in case we might need her help while on our quest, in every way, even only to find the right star map or upgrade our navicomputer from a remote access.

That was the beginning of a very long and worthwhile relationship.

Most of all for Darrick.

But that's another story.

We emerged from the lower level of the base at about mid afternoon and we headed for the training grounds for the afternoon session of the kids' training and there we found Padmè.

Smiling, Obi-Wan headed ahead to join Aleha while I walked over to her. "Hey, how did it go?" she asked.

"Just perfect. We have everything we need. We just need to study the material then we're ready to go." I replied.

"Great. So, tonight we talk to the kids?"

I nodded. "Yes, absolutely. After dinner, alright?"

"Alright. I really hope they will take it better than what we expect."

"Oh they will, don't worry. They're smart kids, don't worry about it!"

Never been so wrong in my life.

* * *

_Another tiny passage chapter here, but it gave me the chance to introduce Asphyxia and decide to give her a bigger role in the story, still in the background but a bigger role, and then introduce the Inquisitor that will hunt Jax down. I admit I've taken inspiration from another movie but, heck, the original guy is one of the most fascinating villains of the last ten years!_

_Ah, just a detail: all the stuff about the hacking and slicing into computers, I invented them, I'm not an hacker, I just made them up. _

_Anyway, hope you liked it...see ya soon! (at least I hope, Easter is coming and it's always a big holiday for my family so...it's gonna take some time from me most of all because I'm the only one that can cook actually now that my mom is at the hospital then...well,we'll see!)_


	10. Saboteurs

**Chapter 10 – Saboteurs **

As a somehow newbie parent, I had never gone through those phases when the kids tend to be impossible to deal with, when they get all whiny and grumpy and there's no way you can reason with them, most of all around the third or fourth year. Padmè had dealt with those phases, while I was away. She had told me about it but they weren't too much hard to deal with and they got over it rather quickly, most of all because they started their training regime with Obi-Wan rather soon. Still, I didn't even have the faintest idea of what was like to have in front of you two incredibly headstrong children when they wanted to mark their point.

To make it quick I had only seen the best side of my children, except for some random whining here and there. I guess I have been luck because nothing in the galaxy could prepare me for what I was going to face that evening.

Well, what we were going to face, because Padmè would be there with me.

And I really needed some support in that moment.

The whole thing, even if I had thought about it thoroughly and for more than a millisecond, still made my skin crawl, most of all after what I had read about Inquisitor Dalan. That guy was so mysterious...his record was incredibly clean, there were only merits and successes on his lists of accomplishments, never a failure.

He had really earned his nickname. The _Jedi Hunter_. There were many hunters out there. Not only the Inquisitors. Vader was a hunter for example, but apparently, the nickname didn't suit him well. Something more adapt for him was _Sith Scum_, from my point of view but, heck, they couldn't just go around the Galaxy and call the servant of the Emperor _Scum_ if they wanted to live.

Dalan was a more elegant type of hunter. He was a cerebral one. He used his head, and he did it very well. His record of accomplishments was terrifyingly long.

And it really scared me.

If they had unleashed such a good detective on Jax's trail, we would have a very fierce adversary to beat. We had only five weeks, while he had all the time he needed.

It was going to be hard.

Anyway, let's go back to our business.

We had decided to make it simple for the twins, to tell them a sort of mitigated truth, so they wouldn't be too worried about me or Obi-Wan while we would be away. We didn't know if we would have told them about Jax, it depended on how they took the news, but if they would remain calm and wouldn't burst, we were inclined to tell them, hoping they could keep the secret, even if Hilean was one of their best friends.

We thought it was going to be easy, I mean, we both thought they would take it hard, alright, but not that way!

But maybe, well, no, almost certainly, I was partially to blame because I acted a bit strange for the rest of the day, ever since I got out Lysveet's office. I didn't know why but there was something in the air, in there. Something really weird. It wasn't something regarding the Force or probably even Obi-Wan would have started acting strange too, it was something completely different. It wasn't even about Jax or what we had just learned. It wasn't the knowledge that we were going to face probably the best Inquisitor available. Not even that. It was something completely new, at least for me.

Like a spark or something similar. A very tiny and subtle feeling I had never experienced. I didn't know then, but I realized that day something had begun only some weeks later.

Anyway, when we were getting ready for dinner after a rather harsh and challenging training session, I fear they started noticing something strange in me. They often exchanged worried or questioning looks and then talked to each other so I couldn't hear them, until a couple of minutes before we left the apartment to get to the refectory, they acted.

"Dad, is there something wrong?" asked Luke tugging my sleeve.

I swear my heart skipped a beat. Those two kids were too perspicacious for their age, it wasn't normal.

"No, don't worry. I just had a long day that's all. I'm a bit tired." I tried to explain as best as I could but I feared they wouldn't believe me. And I was right.

"Are you sure? You look like you want to tell us something big!" continued Leia while we got out of our place.

Yep, too perspicacious for their age. And they were too smart!

I took a deep breath and sighed. "Leia, everything is just fine. I'm tired, that's all! I've had a very busy morning and a rather exhausting afternoon, I think I have all the rights to be a little strange, haven't I?"

With that, they seemed satisfied. Or so I thought!

As we walked down that hallway, I had the slightly bad feeling that the following hours would turn into a sort of hellish nightmare for me and Padmè. I didn't know why or how, but I knew something was going to happen, it may have been related to the kids' reaction to what we were going to tell them or not, but something absolutely would have happened that night.

It wasn't such a great feeling.

Before heading to the refectory we stopped my Padmè's office to pick her up then went down for dinner. The twins instantly joined the large group of kids in a corner of the big room while Padmè and I went straight to our usual table with the other Jedi, except for Aleha who was nowhere in sight.

"The kids suspect something!" I snapped as I sat down. "They started making questions a while ago."

"What did you tell them?" asked Darrick.

"Nothing!" I replied. "Padmè and I decided we would tell them together so I stuck to that decision but...I fear it won't be as easy as predicted."

"What makes you think so?"

I shook my head. "I don't know...it's just a bad feeling...that's all."

"Come on Anakin!" snapped Obi-Wan in front of me. "What can go wrong? They are kids after all, they can't kill you!"

"They can get mad at me, and that's the last thing I want!" I replied sternly.

Everyone fell silent for a moment before they realized that my worries were true and reasonable and dropped the matter and changed subject. I didn't need to be more preoccupied than how I already was. I get clumsy and stiff when I get worried and it wouldn't have been good for what we were going to do later that evening.

But all my resolution was about to jump out of the window within an hour.

When we finally finished dinner, Padmè and I fetched the kids and went back to our apartment. Since everything was out and public, we had stopped hiding even if Antilles wasn't too happy about it and I had stopped running the one hundred meters sprint race in the dormitory hallway at night.

Right after we closed the door behind us, the kids headed straight for their room for their daily homework so Padmè and I had a moment to discuss a couple of things.

"So..." I started, a bit uncertain on what to do next. "What are we gonna do?"

She sat at the table and sighed. "I don't know. All your talking about bad feelings about this made me nervous!"

"You too? Wow, I thought I was the only one that had a motive to be nervous!" I replied sitting down myself. "Do you think it's better if you talk to them?"

"I don't know." she sighed. "Why?"

"You know them better than me. Maybe you can find better words!" I proposed.

She shook her head. "I don't really know. It's not something easy to say. I mean, you've been away for eight years and now you leave again?" she ran her fingers through her long hair. "They're not going to take it as well as Ahsoka predicted. At all. They are smart, alright, they are far more mature than their age requirements but...have you seen how clingy they became with you?"

"That's why I thought it was better if you told them. I don't want to hurt them in any possible way, I would never forgive myself if I did! I don't want to make a mess about this!" I confessed. "I mean, I'm incredibly clumsy with words, you know that!"

That made her smile briefly.

"Yeah...no well, you have your ways with words when you have to talk to a crowd or you have to motivate someone, but when you have to peacefully discuss with someone in front of you, let me tell you this straight: you suck! No offense meant!"

Well, she was right. "No offense taken. You're right, I suck at discussing. I try to stay calm but...I still lose my temper too easily. I fear I might cause some distress in them."

She nodded. "Alright. I'll talk to them. You stay here and intervene when they ask you something or you feel you need to. Understood?"

I nodded myself. "Understood. I'm calling them." I stood up and opened the door of their room. "Hey squids, can you join us for a moment?"

It felt like the walls had been covered with ice. The whole area felt incredibly still through the Force, as if someone had pressed the _Pause_ button on an holoprojector. The kids lifted their eyes from their books and exchanged a worried look before standing up and following me in the kitchen.

Silently, they sat down at the table and looked at us. It felt a little creepy, they were studying us as if they were trying to find out what was going on and if they had been right earlier that evening, when they had started making questions about my strange attitude.

I swear I held my breath for half of the conversation.

"Luke, Leia, there's something we need to tell you." started Padmè. "And I want both of you to remain calm and try to understand. Clear?"

They silently nodded, but I could see they were incredibly nervous and ready to burst.

"Good. Now, you know that your dad is able to see things while he sleeps."

They nodded again. "Yes." started Luke. "Master Obi-Wan says we might have inherited this mark too, considering our dreams about him during the years."

Padmè nodded. "Exactly. Some weeks ago, your dad had a dream. A very strange dream about Jax Pavan. Do you know him?"

"Only by name. He was a Jedi Knight that survived Order 66 and he's Hilean's dad but he died some years ago." replied Leia.

"That's the catch. Jax is alive. Your father saw him in his dream. He's alive and in danger." continued Padmè as I remained silent and watched the whole scene going on in front of me. I was really marveled by the whole situation. Padmè had taken her skill as a politician out of the closet and they were still as keen as nine years before. She was amazing, absolutely. She was capturing the twins' attention with such an easiness it was almost embarrassing for me. At that point I would have probably ruined everything and make them mad.

"Which means that he can find us!" snapped Luke.

"It's not that easy Luke." I interjected. "It's not easy to find any active member of the Rebellion. We have agents on some very specific planets and cities but their not easy to find. He probably would want to join us but he can't find a way yet. And most of all, someone's looking for him, and he probably doesn't want to endanger the whole Alliance."

His enthusiasm seemed to cool down for a moment. "But doesn't he care about Hilean?" he asked. "You were looking for us when you got out of prison! Why isn't he looking for his daughter?"

"Because he doesn't know he has a daughter." I replied as calm as I could. "He had to run away before even Aleha discovered she was pregnant with Hilean."

"Then why did Aleha tell Hilean her father was dead?" asked Leia.

Padmè and I exchanged a worried gaze. "Because she thinks he is dead. And most of all because it's easier to explain a child that her father is dead instead than telling a long and complicated story about him being chased by the Empire." she said. "Think about it. Obi-Wan and I told you that your dad was alive because we were certain he was. And when you started having dreams about him, we were even more sure about it. But Aleha? She doesn't know if he's alive or not, and believe me, sometimes it's better expecting the worse, in order to take every good news even better."

They both sighed. "I guess you're right." mumbled Leia. "But what does it have to do with us?"

Padmè took a deep breath before she spoke. She was trying to be as clear and calm as she could, but it wasn't easy even for her. "Because tomorrow morning your father and Master Obi-Wan are going to leave the base and go look for him."

Remember when I said it felt like the walls were covered with ice? Well, now it felt like a bucket of ice cubes had been poured over my head. The expression on their faces was anything but good. They really looked shocked by the news.

I started regretting that decision in that very moment, and I swear that leaving them behind was the worst thing I had to do in my whole life. Not even the seven years in prison were that bad. At least from a simply emotional point of view.

"What?" they both snapped after probably thirty seconds of cold, shocked silence. They had jumped over their chairs and they were know knelt on their seats, leaning forward on the table to be closer to us, as if they were trying to find any hint of lies or deceiving on our faces.

"Luke, Leia, stay calm, it's not that bad!" tried Padmè but they steadfastly refused to listen.

"Not that bad?" yelled Leia on the verge of tears. "Not that bad? You said Jax is being followed by the Empire. That sounds bad to me!"

I was right. That bad feeling that nudged my mind whole afternoon was founded after all. They were taking it bad.

"You're not going!" she snapped then. "You can't go dad! Not after everything that happened!"

I swear my heart was breaking into a million of tiny pieces. I couldn't bear the thought of them suffering like that because of me. I really couldn't bear it. It was making me sick...

"Why are you doing this?" asked then Luke, after a moment of silence.

"Because we're friends and I could never leave a behind when I know I can do something to help him!" I replied, trying to sound calm but on the inside I felt my stomach churning and twisting around. I was one step away from nervous nausea!

Another long, awkward silence followed. This time though, it was heated by their righteous anger.

"Why you?" asked then Leia.

"Yeah, why you?" repeated Luke. "Why are _you_ doing this?"

"What does _why am I doing this_ mean?" I asked. I could understand their anger, I mean, it's not too different from the kind of feeling I had when Master Qui Gonn told me I was the only one that was set free from slavery and that my mother wasn't coming with me. They had to let their father go on a high risk mission. That wasn't good, from their perspective. Actually, it wasn't good on mine either.

"I mean, why are _you_ personally going!" replied Leia. "Why can't Darrick go with Master Obi-Wan?"

They were right. From their point of view, that was the most logical thought that could come up in their minds.

"Darrick must stay here because he's important for the base. He must be always ready to be contacted because his role is very important for the Rebellion." Padmè told them.

"Why can't Ahsoka go with him then!" said Luke, his voice reaching a strangely high pitch, as if he had been inhaling helium.

"Because even Ahsoka must stay here." I told them. "She's the only piloting teacher on duty now, while I have been suspended from active duty for two months. We're going to stay away only for five weeks tops, and even if we haven't found him, we will come back home!"

They seemed a bit reassured but not much.

It wasn't such an easy thing to take in, even for a grown up adult, but for a nine year old child? It was a huge blow to take.

Most of all for them. I knew their worst fear was losing me or their mother. They had been practically orphan for eight years and now that they had a whole family they feared they could lose it. I understood why they were so shocked. That's why I was so worried about telling them the truth.

"It's not fair..." groanad Luke sitting back in his chair and running his hands on his face. He was tired. Both physically and emotionally. Poor kid!

"What?" asked Padmè.

"Everything!" he snapped. "Dad's suspension because of a stupid rule no one can understand, dad that had to change his name...we can't even call him dad while outside of here!"

"I know Squid, it's not the best of the situations." I told him. "But one day everything will be different. We're working to make things better, don't worry about it!"

"We know...it's just that..." he continued but his voice trailed off as he looked at his sister.

"It's just that we would like to have a more active role in it! But we're just kids and we have to grow up before we can do anything!"

Poor kids. In the end, they were just as frustrated as the adults. And this was just going to pile up with the rest.

"I know Leia, it's frustrating. I felt the same when I was your age. But then I learned that it's useless to haste things up. You only end up bad. Remember what happened to me with Dooku." I told them waving my right hand. Even if it now looked more human with the new synthflesh implant, they of course knew that it was an artificial limb. "Do you think I wouldn't like to turn back time to that day and take a more sensible decision?"

"I guess so." said Leia. "So you're leaving tomorrow."

I nodded. "Yep. Probably late morning, but tomorrow. Today Darrick got our ship prepared and we got a huge load of information to go through when we start looking for him. We hope to find him quickly so we can return home earlier."

They seemed to be satisfied with that. "Ok. Just make sure to return home in one piece ok? Not like after Daltarra." said Leia incredibly serious.

"I swear I won't let them hurt me, in case we have to fight. You ok with that?"

They nodded and stood up. "Well, I guess it's sealed then. There's no way we can persuade you to stay at home." said Luke a bit discouraged.

I shook my head. "I guess not. And please, don't tell Hilean or Aleha why we are really away. "

He nodded. "Alright. Can we ask a favor?" he said softly. "To both of you?"

Padmè and I exchanged a strange look. "Sure!" replied Padmè.

"Can we sleep in your bed tonight?"

And how can you say no to such a heartfelt, simple and cute request?

"Of course you can Squids!" she said. "You just need to ask!"

"Alright. Then we'll go and finish our homework if you don't mind."

And they disappeared in their room.

I swear on the Force I started breathing properly only in that moment.

"Wow, it wasn't that bad in the end!" said Padmè.

I took a deep breath and sighed. "Yeah, not bad...in the end they understood. Damn, it must be tough for them!"

She smiled softly. "Yeah. It's not easy even for me but, you know...I've dealt with your absence before, I can deal with you away for five weeks." she said taking my hand in hers and squeezing it tightly.

"I know. And believe me when I say it's going to be a living hell, staying away from you and the kids for so long. But I have to do it."

She nodded. "Yeah, I know. And if you would have decided to stay here and do nothing I would have probably tried to convince you into acting."

"Really?" that sounded a bit strange.

"Yes. Why do you think I suggested you could ask Obi-Wan to go with you, if you were so undecided?"

"Well, maybe because you thought he could have helped me while I looked for him."

"That's one reason, but not the only one!" she revealed. "I wanted you to do something, because I knew you needed it. You're stressed Anakin, and stress is not good for you, and you know it. You had to find a way to make yourself useful. But I couldn't tell you exactly what you had to do. I know you don't like when people tell you what you have to do, how to behave or anything like that. You're just like me on that side. You had to understand it yourself. What I did, when I told you to ask Obi-Wan if he wanted to come with you, well, that was just a little prod in the right direction. That's all. You decided to go, all by yourself, and that's the best think you could do!"

She's a genius and still she doesn't want to admit it.

"Wow...you had planned everything!"

"Hey, I mean, I have to! I have to stay a couple of steps ahead of you in order to keep up with you!"

"Yeah, I can be a problem! No, better, I am a huge problem every freaking day! I just hope I took the right decision."

"Oh, you did. Don't worry about it. In the end even the kids understood why you have to go."

"Well...in the end, both Ahsoka and I were right. I thought they would take it bad and she thought they were going to understand. It took a while, but they did..." I stopped for a second and thought about our conversation. "Too bad I had other plans for tonight..."

She chuckled soundly. "Oh, don't worry. You're not going to leave at six AM tomorrow, we have time for that!"

"Are you sure?"

"Of course! I mean, I would never let you go away for five weeks without..."

She couldn't finish the sentence. The kids' room door burst open and they appeared in the door frame with the most serious expression I had ever seen on their faces. They looked somehow a bit scary, at least from my point of view.

"Stop everything you're planning." started Luke. He exchanged a look with his sister then they spoke at the same time. "You..." they pointed at Padmè. "...are going with them."

That was our chance to be shocked and stunned.

"What?" she snapped.

The walked over to the table and took their seats again. "Mom, we've seen you without dad. You're sad all the time and we don't like it. We like you more now, with dad here. And we don't want to see you sad and worried all the time for five weeks." Leia calmly explained their theory.

"And we all know you'll be happier, calmer and more concentrated if mom is with you!" interjected Luke speaking straight to me.

"Obi-Wan and you always told us mom is one of the best in the Galaxy with blasters and she proved it on Daltarra too. She will be helpful, we're sure of it!" said Leia. For a moment, I swear I had a sort of flashback of Padmè back on Tatooine when she was hiding in disguise with Master Qui Gonn, twenty three years before. She just looked so convinced, so sure about her statement that I couldn't agree more.

"And, to be completely honest..." continued Luke. "We would feel a bit more calm and won't be always over-worried about him! After the stunt on Daltarra, we would prefer of someone would go watching over him, just in case he decides to jump into troubles again."

I looked at Padmè and she seemed to be a bit skeptical about the whole thing. "Let me get this straight Squids...you want me to go with your father and Obi-Wan because you think that I can be helpful and that I can keep them from jumping into troubles?"

They both nodded forcefully.

"That's our idea. We watched you during this year and except for the fact that sometimes you tend to cling to each other a bit too much for us, but as Aleha told us, it's just because we're kids and we don't understand, you two just look too good to be separated. Again!" and Luke put a lot of stress on that _again_. "So, either you go together, or you don't go at all."

"And that's final. You can't bargain this." added Leia. "Or I swear we're going to sabotage your ship any way we can!"

Wow, they were really sure about it. And from the look on their faces, they were ready to do anything to avoid my leave, if I decided to leave with only Obi-Wan.

It wasn't an easy decision though. They were right in the end. With her by my side, I would of course be a lot more stable than without her but...it was dangerous.

It was probably a mortal danger and I had done everything I could to avoid that, nine years before...

But it made sense.

And if they needed it to be calmer and feel a bit safer, I think that was a good compromise.

I turned towards her. "So, what do you think?"

She took a deep breath and held it for a moment. "I think that..." she paused for a second. "I think that if you let my had go I'll start packing my things!"

"Are you sure?"

Padmè nodded. "Yes I am. There's no way they are going to stay calm here if I don't come so...I guess it's inevitable. I'm stuck with you!" she said smiling. "And I admit I don't mind a bit of adventure in my life!"

Just like in the good old times. The adventure spirit in her took over and she just couldn't resist.

Smiling widely, the twins exchanged a high five. "Great! We're the best!" exclaimed Leia.

"That doesn't mean we won't sleep with you tonight!" hurriedly added Luke.

I raised my hands, defeated. "No one implied anything different!"

And that was it. Our journey would have a new crew member!

And thank the Force the kids forced her to come with us!

* * *

_Ah! betcha you didn't expect something like this! It's just gonna be so much fun writing this! I mean...just like the best part of Episode I. And II. Star Wars needs badass women! I mean...it's just too fun writing about women in the Star Wars universe. They are just so cool! All of them! Padmè, Leia, Jaina, Mara...I love all of them!_

_Anyway, hope you liked it. Things are getting a little better here, mom is doing rather good everything considered, chemo I working its wonders (with the obvious side effects but, heck, it's part of the healing process) and she feels better day by day. We'll see how things will progress. _


	11. All That You Can't Leave Behind

**Chapter 11 – All That You Can't Leave Behind**

"Absolutely out of question!"

Obi-Wan was angry. And he was right to be. I mean, we were almost ready to leave, he was preparing for his last night of relative peace for the next five weeks and now Padmè and I dropped by his room and released the bomb.

It wasn't a great way to say goodnight.

"Master, the kids won't let us go if Padmè won't come with us." I replied, trying to look and sound sure and steady as I spoke. I was mortified actually. I never thought he could get this angry. I mean, I had seen him angry, most of all when he as younger and I was his Padawan, when he still had some remains of feelings that slowly were shoved away by his incredibly strong faith in the Jedi traditional ways, but never like this.

Maybe he was so angry that time because none of us had thought of that opportunity and we weren't ready for this. I mean, we were ready for any kind of reaction from the kids, from anger to denial to acceptance to anything else but not for something like this.

Their proposal, well, actually, their order, had caught us off guard but Padmè and I found a certain logic in it. Apparently, Obi-Wan couldn't.

"I don't care Anakin! I spent eight years trying to protect your wife from anything that could harm her and now you are ready to throw everything out of the window just for the childish order of two nine years old children?" he snapped. "That's nonsense!"

"Obi-Wan, please, try to understand them. Their idea is not that wrong in the end!" said Padmè, trying to be the reasonable one.

He took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair. "I don't understand. I really don't. I'm not implying that your help wouldn't be helpful, it's not that...it's just that...this doesn't make sense at all!"

"From their point of view it does." I replied. "And if that's the only way we can leave and let them be calm and safe here, well, I guess we can let her com with us!"

He sat down on his bunk bed and sighed. "I don't know. I really don't know. What we have in front of us is a high risk mission. You almost sacrificed your own life to save your wife and now you want to take her with us in a possibly suicide quest?"

"I..."

I actually didn't know what to say. I just felt it was right. For me, for Padmè, for Obi-Wan, for the twins. It just felt right.

It was almost like if the Force itself wanted her to come with us. To join our duo and make it a trio, a well oiled trio that had made wonders before too.

"Master Kenobi..." interjected Padmè, her voice had resumed the tone she used back in her Senate days. She had just called him Master, and that was strange. "I know you can't understand. In the beginning, it felt strange and absolutely out of mind even to me. Then they explained why they were practically ordering me to come with you. If you let me explain, maybe you will understand too."

"Well, right now, I'm open to everything!"

"Alright." She sat down in front of him, on the bunk that once had been mine. "They feel I can help you. And that's sure. I'm not the naive kind of woman that jumps into troubles unwillingly. Well, no more than the two of you, that's sure!"

He nodded and gestured her to go on.

"I might not be a Jedi, but I have my ways. I can pilot any ship, I know how to use any kind of weapon I get my hands on, except for a lightsaber, that's clear, I still have some connection here and there and, most of all, I know you." and she indicated me and Obi-Wan. "I know how you work. I've known you for more than twenty years now and I know I can keep you out of troubles. Or I can get you out of troubles!"

He frowned slightly. "How?"

"Well, first of all, if I am around, you'll think not only twice but probably three times at least before doing something stupid." she stated. "Second, if you leave me on the ship to pick you up in case something goes wrong, you can bring Artoo with you, and you know how much he can help you!"

He shrugged and nodded. "Yes, I admit that he's been really helpful during the years!"

"Exactly. And third, you always told me Anakin needs to be extremely calm and relaxed to be totally concentrated on the Force and to perceive it flowing around him. Have you ever seen him more calm and relaxed than when he's with me?"

"Alright alright! I get the point! If you come with us, everything will be easier and probably we will avoid suicide-type situations. Am I right?"

She nodded and smiled. "That's it. It's not like I don't trust you. I've seen you working and you're absolutely the best at what you do but sometimes you lack a bit of common sense." she said. "Most of all Anakin."

"Oh, thank you!" I snapped playfully. "It wasn't great to hear this from the Council but hearing this from my own wife? It's terrible!"

"You're terrible Anakin! Remember what I told you? Always two steps ahead of you, so I can keep up."

"That's what I've been trying to do for thirteen years!" said Obi-Wan. "But failed miserably. Apparently, you're better than me at keeping up with him!"

She smiled softly for a moment. "I'm his wife, I have to be better than anyone!"

"You're right. Anyway, let me get this straight. After you told them we were leaving, the twins came up with the idea of you coming with us?"

I nodded "Yes. And they swore they would sabotage our ship any way they can so we wouldn't leave."

He shook his head, rather amused. "They are definitely your kids. Only someone with your DNA could come up with an idea like this!"

"They were right though." explained Padmè. "They don't want to see us separated anymore, not after they saw how better I feel since Anakin returned in my life. And, to be completely honest with you, I would feel a lot better if I had the chance to keep a close eye on you. During the wars, I hated when I had to sit and wait in Coruscant for news of his situation. I don't think that now, with everything we went through, I could do that again."

He took a deep breath and then sighed. "I understand. Now that you put it this way, yes, I understand their point. I'd like to talk to them though, before we all go to sleep tonight. Do you mind?"

Padmè and I exchanged a look. "Not at all Master!"

About five minutes later, he was talking to the twins in their bedroom while Padmè and I finished packing our things for the trip.

"I really hope they'll be fine when we're away..." I said at a certain point as I pushed another pair of trousers in my bag. I was making a mess actually. Deep inside my heart, I didn't want to leave them at home, and I was vending out my frustration on my clothes. I was over-stuffing that bag, putting too many things inside it and I had the feeling that if I pushed a bit more the seams would break.

I was trying to appear as calm as a stone but I was as scared as a child.

"They will be, don't worry. Tomorrow I will talk to Aleha and ask her if she can take care of them. I doubt she will say no."

"Yeah, she will surely accept but...I mean...we are their parents, we are supposed to help them through their growth, we can't leave them behind like this!" I replied. "And consider that even their mentor is going to leave with us...well, I not that comfortable with it!"

"Anakin, we're not leaving forever. You know it and you don't need to worry about it. It's just for five weeks, then we'll be back. They said they have no problems with this as long as I'm coming!"

"It's not that...it's just that...I don't know...they are the same age I was when I was forced to leave my mother on Tatooine. I know how it feels to be alone without the guide you always had beside you. And even if it's only for a short period of time."

She immediately stopped what she was doing and walked towards me.

"Is that really what bothers you?"

I looked down on the floor and nodded. "Yep. Well, not only that. It just feels bad leaving them here. That's all."

Smiling, she took a step forward and hugged me. "We can still call them and talk to them every time we want!" she said softly. "It's not that bad in the end!"

"I know. It's just that...I don't know. I feel something huge will happen while we are away, that's all."

She looked up at me, a worried look in her eyes. "Something bad?"

I shook my head. "I don't know. It's just a feeling I've had for the past week. It feels like something really really big is going to happen. And it's going to happen soon!"

"Try to figure out what it is, because every time you say you have a feeling, either good or bad, I fear something bad will happen like the last time!"

"I'll try, but I can't promise anything!" I replied.

She leaned up and kissed me. "Just promise me you'll try. That's enough for me!"

About fifteen minutes later we were done with the packing and our bags laid beside the front door of the apartment when finally the twins and Obi-Wan emerged from their room. They all looked rather happy and satisfied by their long talk.

"I guess it's time for me to get in my room and sleep. We have a long day tomorrow and I don't want to steal more time from you. Have a good night!" he wished us as he walked towards the door.

"Good night, Master!" replied Luke and Leia. They were already prepared for bed and they looked tired. It was pretty late for their standards and they had a very hard training day so the sooner they hit the bed, the better would have been for them.

When they didn't get enough sleep at night, the day after they were always grumpy and impossible.

Well, actually, Luke still is. The night after the destruction of the first Death Star, we had a huge party on Yavin and well, none of us got much sleep, nor he nor his sister or me and his mother, but hell, the morning after, he looked more like a soaked kitchen rag when he woke up. Well, I guess the booze didn't help.

Anyway, let's get back to our business.

I will probably tell that story later, but now, let's get back to my tale.

When we were finally all ready for bed, it had got even later. I was in the bathroom, getting ready, when Padmè sneaked in and giggled softly as she closed the door. I was brushing my teeth so I looked at her with a questioning look.

"They just fell asleep on the couch. They were exhausted!" she whispered.

I spit out the toothpaste. "Poor kids. They had a very stressful day!"

Smiling broadly, Padmè took a step towards me and wiped a rivulet of foam away from my bearded chin. "Not that ours was better." she looked at me from head to feet. I wasn't at my best, with a really old pair of baggy slacks Darred gave me when I crashed on Naboo two years before and nothing else. "Hey, your scar is fading!"

I looked down at my torso and saw the thin, jagged line of the newest scar that adorned my body. And it was indeed fading! For a thin, angry red line it was slowly turning pink. And I had never noticed!

"Wow! Great! I wish the scar on my face would do the same!"

"Oh, let's hope not!" she said laughing softly. "It gives you a tough look I absolutely adore! It makes you charming, other than incredibly handsome and, well, let me say, sexy!"

In that moment I swear I was regretting I had allowed the kids to sleep with us. Really, it was unnerving!

"Oh really?" I asked slily. "Then I have to thank Ventress for it!"

"Well, it's a tiny good thing out of a dreadful meeting!"

I nodded. "I guess...come on, let's get to bed, I'm a little tired!"

We got out of the bathroom and we found the twins laying on the couch, Leia resting her head on her brother's shoulder, sleeping peacefully. Slowly, I picked them up, trying not to wake them, and brought them to our bedroom.

"Uff, they're getting heavier every day!" I whispered as Padmè took Luke from my left arm and laid him on our bed. "At this rate, by the time they're twelve, I might start using them for weightlifting!"

"They would love to help you!"

I threw back the covers and laid Leia down beside her brother then stretched my back. Heck, they were growing fast. Faster than I could have ever imagined.

Trying not to wake them, I sneaked under the covers and laid down and Padmè did the same.

Immediately after the moment I had set down on the bend, Leia sneaked closer to me and grasped my hand in her sleep, holding it tightly and sighing contently as she relaxed completely against me. She was so cute when she was asleep...I mean, she was the most beautiful girl a father could ever hope to have as a daughter but, heck, at least to me, she was perfect.

Sighing, I held her close to me and relaxed myself. I turned my gaze towards Padmè who was trying to get Luke a little closer to the center of the bed so she could lay down comfortably herself. She was having some troubles actually, so I helped her as much as I could.

"Thanks..." she whispered once she finally found enough space for herself. Our bed was big but not so big as the one in the master bedroom at the Lake Retreat, and with two children, it was a little challenging to find enough space for everyone. The first time it happened, we had some troubles finding the right position for everyone but during the last year we had come out with the perfect arrangement. The kids slept in the middle of the bed, and Padmè and I on the sides. It was a little different from our usual setting but it worked. And they didn't sleep in our bed so often in the end. We could afford some tiny sacrifices for them. They weren't demanding or spoiled children, they just loved cuddles.

"Not a problem..."

I watched her getting settled and I still couldn't believe she would come with me. It was like a dream came true. Well, it's not like I dreamed to jump into possibly life-threatening situations with her by my side, but she really wanted to come and help us.

That was incredible.

"Are you really sure you want to come?" I asked.

"Yes, I'm sure. And it's not like I have many other choices!"

Still careful not to wake Leia, I turned on my side and sneaked my free arm so I could hold Padmè's hand. "It's just that I'm worried..."

"Bad feeling?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

I shook my head. "No, actually, I have the feeling we're going to find Jax in the end...It's just that I don't want you to risk your life for something that I think I have to do!"

"Anakin, have you forgot our wedding vows?" she asked softly. "Even though we're not legally married since you're legally dead, it doesn't mean our oath changed or isn't valid anymore. I swore I would love and protect you anyway I could, and for twelve years I didn't have the chance do be faithful to that oath. Now I can, and I will do anything in my power to help you and Obi-Wan. Because I love you and I want you back here by the moment your suspension is over."

She was right.

There was no way I could reply to that statement.

We had swore we would have protected each other from harm anyway we could, and I did. Many times. Apparently, fate or more probably the Force itself had decided it was her moment to protect me.

Or at least she said so.

I just hoped she would never had the chance to prove she was able to protect me because I knew she was, but I didn't know what kind of situations we were going to face and I didn't want to endanger her.

Well, we had decided we would do everything together, the year before, the same moment I pressed the key that marked Anakin Skywalker as dead. And we had decided we would go together on this one.

We had promised our own children to return home safe and sound, both of us.

And it wasn't time for afterthoughts. We had given our solemn promise to the twins, and we couldn't take it back. It was against everything we were trying to teach them, I would feel an hypocrite if I left Padmè there, perhaps using some trick like, I don't know...

Well, as I had said, we were stuck together on that one, and we would stick to the end of it.

"Alright. I just want to be sure you're not coming just because the kids ordered it! I want you to come with us because you want to!"

"Anakin, please...stop wondering if we're doing the right thing. During the years I've learned to trust the Force even if I'm not a Jedi. Of the kids decided they would do anything in their power to make me come with you, there must be a reason. Most of all because they decided it so fast. Last year you told me I should know that the Skywalkers have a rather keen sense for things to come, that if you have a feeling about something, it's most likely to happen, so, it's time we trust our children and follow the path the Force set for us. What do you think?"

"You're right." and she was, definitely. "As always. We have to do this and there's no way we can change this. Not now at least."

"Good. Now, turn off your brain and sleep. We definitely need it!"

When I woke up next morning, reality seemed to slow down to a slow-motion feeling. I had slept like a rock, even though I had woken up a couple of times, roused by I don't know what kind of noise or whatever, and I felt a little numb. Padmè and the twins were already getting ready prepared for the day while I was still sleeping.

I felt a little spineless that morning, I didn't really want to get out of bed but somehow I managed to gather my strength and slit out of the covers. It took me an eternity to get dressed and for the first time in probably a whole year I hanged my lightsaber at my belt.

Since the destruction of my eight years old Jedi tunic after Daltarra (only my boots had survived), I had never replaced it, preferring a more informal style of clothing most of all because I spent half of my day submerged with engine grease and grime. Stuff that's not easy to wash away on that kind of fabric, so I never thought about getting a new one.

With some hindsight I admit I was lucky, but in that moment I regretted that decision for a moment. I still had a vast array of clothes that didn't hinder my movements when I fought and I felt really comfortable wearing them, but it was a little different.

Well, it's not the apparel that makes you a Jedi in the end.

Anyway, breakfast was incredibly normal. We chatted inconsequentially for the whole time, washed the dishes, put them back in the closets and then everyone went for their business. Like a normal morning.

But there was nothing normal that morning. Every single second reminded me that I was about to embark in a suicide mission and this time I was leaving my children back at home but I was also bringing my wife with me.

It seemed like nothing would happen in the next few hours.

And still I felt incredibly guilty for leaving the kids behind. I felt like a monster. I don't know why but I knew I had to leave them at home but somehow I felt like I was taking something away from them. It was terrible. It felt like a rancor was gnawing my bones and nothing was making it better. Even dropping by the hangar and checking for the last time the ship we were going to use. I think I checked every component with my own eyes, almost ripping the ship apart again.

I spent half of the morning deep submerged into that engine and still sometimes I found myself cursing aloud against me and my own decisions.

Crappy day. Yep. Crappy day indeed.

Anyway, I had just closed the engine compartment when Colonel Antilles appeared in my eye field. Sighing, I grabbed a clean cloth and wiped the grease from my hands before turning and face him.

"Master Kohr told me you and Master Kenobi are leaving." he stated.

"Yes. Senator Amidala is coming along too." I replied.

"I was just informed. May I ask why such a haste?" he asked, folding his arms across his chest.

"Because we received very reliable news about some Force Sensitive kids and we want to check on them. Usually, it was Aleha's job but she's too busy here, so we're filling for her." that was the official truth.

"I understand. But why the Senator must come with you?"

"Because she wants to. And we couldn't say no to one of the founding members of the Alliance."

He didn't seem convinced but said nothing. "Alright. Just be sure to bring her back in one piece."

"Believe me Colonel, I care about her safety much more than you do." I told him. "She'll be fine!"

He didn't like the last comment but again remained silent then turned around and went back on his tracks towards the exit. I didn't see him again for five blissful weeks.

A couple of minutes later, Obi-Wan joined my efforts as I filled the stock compartment with anything we might have needed during our trip, from food to first aid kits. Darrick had been a bit overzealous but you know, you can't predict what can happen in this kind of trips! There were rations for at least two months, emergency energy units, spare parts for the crucial sections of the engine and enough medical material to perform an emergency surgery on the main deck of the ship.

Yep, we were ready to go.

But someone thought we weren't.

Strangely enough, about an hour before the designed set off time, we received an extraordinary visit from Asphyxia herself! She was carrying a bag big enough to contain her and it looked incredibly heavy.

"Hey guys, I think you will find this stuff useful!" she said dropping it on the nearest table.

Obi-Wan walked towards her while I finished loading the stuff. "What is it?"

She smiled and opened it. "Enough technology to beat the Empire on every level." she said. "I've got you a special hi-def electronic spy-glass that with a thermal sensor and a night-vision feature. It also can take snapshots that you can send me so I can identify people or buildings. And that's not even the best piece of equipment I found!"

Well, everything considered, only that spy-glass was worth a lot of credits.

"This is a com-link set that can be hid anywhere. The earplugs are almost invisible and the microphone can be attached to the hem of your shirt and it's virtually invisible. Even to metal detectors or other similar devices. It's a three pieces set, please try to bring it back safe and sound, it took me years to design and build it!"

"No wait a second you built it?" I asked as I inspected the tiny components of the set. It was a masterpiece of communication engineering, I can tell you!

She nodded. "Yep. This is a sort of prototype, you are the first who will use it for real on the field so please, report any problem you find out ok?"

"It will be done!" I assured her.

"OK. Now, this..." she took out of the back a small cylindrical device. "This is the best. If you can't have your Artoo unit slicing into a computer, well, just attach this thing to the nearest spike plug and this will open a gateway straight to my workstation and I'll do it from here."

"And I guess you built this too!" said Obi-Wan.

She shrugged her shoulders. "Yeah...some years ago...wasn't even too hard. I used something like this, just a bit smaller, to hack into a Separatist server years ago!"

"You're a genius, you know that?"

"I do, but thanks nonetheless. Inside the bag there's a vast array of computer stuff, spare comlinks, spare parts for the navicomputer...anything you will need in case of emergency repairs. Remember to get back here safe and sound though, clear?"

The next hour was a mess. Literally.

We had a lot of people coming to say goodbye and wish us a good trip, hoping we would all come back in one piece. Darrick, Aleha and the kids, Ahsoka...everyone!

Padmè and the twins arrived barely ten minutes before the set off time. Unlike what I was expecting, they all seemed rather happy to be down there, even if we were leaving.

"So, are you ready?" asked Luke.

"Yes, we are." I replied. "We were waiting for you."

"So you're really going..." started Leia. "There's no way we can convince you to stay."

Padmè shook her head. "No Squid, we are going. But if you want, I can stay here with you! You decide!"

It was our last chance. If they decided Padmè would stay home, I would have grabbed her suitcase and bring it back to our apartment in ten seconds.

"No way!" snapped Luke. "Mom goes with you and keeps you out of troubles. And that's final! We told you, it's not negotiable. If you want to go, mom goes with you!"

"We're still capable to make a lot of mess with that ship! We've exercised a lot with the Saber Throwing!" continued Leia.

I heard Obi-Wan chuckle behind me. "Alright Squids. We're going altogether. Don't worry."

After that, it was the usual sequence of hugs and kisses and whatever you do when you're leaving for someplace. It was easier than what I had thought actually. I had the certainty they were safe and sound back in the base, that Aleha would have taken care of them as if they were her own children and that they would stay calm if they knew Padmè was with us.

It was strange.

I had felt like a crap for the better part of the morning and now I felt relieved.

Yep, it was strange indeed.

"So, try to behave properly while we are away, understood?" I told them moments before we set foot on the ship. "I want to hear only good things from Aleha when we come back!"

"Sure thing dad!" said Leia. "We won't disappoint you!"

"That's my boy! Take good care of your sister. Not that she needs it but, you never know."

"Alright." he replied. "I will."

"Great. So...see you in five weeks or less!" I hugged them both and stood there for a moment. After that, we were ready to go.

And leave them behind.

Years later, when finally they had the proper age to join our adventures, I found out how much they can be helpful or how great fighters they both are but right in that moment, we couldn't afford to take them with us. I had thought about it but discarded the thought immediately. No way.

Anyway, we were already on the entry ramp of the ship when Leia called Padmè back.

"Hey, what's up Squid?"

"Take this." she said handing her lightsaber to her mother.

"What? No, I can't! I don't even know how to use it!" she replied. "I can't accept it!"

"This is the ignition button, press here to turn it on and off. That's it. It's a shorter version of the usual lightsaber, it's just adapt for my age and height but it can be useful in many ways. To force locks and cut your way through durasteel doors should be just fine. Please mom, I'll feel better if I know you have it!"

She looked in Leia's eyes for a moment before nodding. "Ok. If you say so, I'll take it." she said. "Now get back to your training with your brother. And try to be a good girl, ok?"

Leia nodded, kissed her mother on the cheek and ran away towards the exit.

We were ready.

A minute later we were given permission to take off and Artoo started the engine.

Before I started the take off sequence though, I stopped for a moment and looked at Padmè and Obi-Wan.

"Are we sure we want to go? This is our last chance, once I push that button, we're out of here!"

"Anakin, we decided. We are going. Now, push that button and let's go look for Jax!" said Obi-Wan.

I took a deep breath and started the sequence. "May the Force be with us..."

* * *

_Oh, finally I did it! Sorry it took me a huge amount of time to write this, I'm really sorry but I'm playing the part of the nurse here now that my mom is at home. I don't have much time for writing anymore so the pause between a chapter and the other will be longer. And I admit that I worked a lot on Anesthesia, the one shot I posted a while ago. And I admit that I'm trying to study for some exams so, yeah, I guess that writing is a bit less important than a while ago. _

_So, I don't like it. Seriously, I hate this chapter. If I could delete it and rewrite I would, but this is the best I could tear out of my brain so, this is it. I don't like it, I hope it's at least understandable because to me it sounds more like a bunch of crap written on a webpage. And don't tell me I'm being overly worried. I just don't like it. _

_Anyway...hope you liked it, have fun and see ya!_


	12. Everything Remains As It Never Was

**Chapter 12 – Everything Remains As It Never Was**

"So..." started Obi-Wan. "Route for?"

Artoo was working to bring the ship to a stationary orbit so we could have all the time we needed to decide where to go and how to act, but the choice was pretty simple and obvious.

"Coruscant." I replied. "It's the only reasonable alternative."

"You want to go search his house?"

I nodded. "Exactly. He might be on the run, but he's not a fool, he knows that one day or another, someone might go looking for him, and not to hunt him down and kill him, but to find him and give him shelter. He must have left something helpful to find him!"

"Are you sure?" asked Padmè from her seat.

"Yes. I'm sure. I've known him for too long to think he just decided to disappear and leave everything behind without a clue of where he was heading. We just need to figure out what it is!"

The cockpit fell silent for a moment, only the low hum of the engine could be heard. I wasn't even sure if we would have found Jax's house, I was just trying to bolster myself a bit, because I knew what we were going to face was pure, unleashed hell.

It only took a moment to be noticed by Imperial agents. And that would be the end of everything. Or maybe not, it would only make things incredibly difficult, but you never know.

"Then we're going to Coruscant." said Obi-Wan, breaking the silence.

From his spot at the piloting seat for droid, Artoo beeped his approval. On the translating screen appeared his sentence. "_Finally you decided! It was getting boring waiting for you to make up your mind!_"

"Well, thank you Artoo!" replied Padmè. "I didn't know you were so impatient to leave!"

"_I'm not impatient to leave! I'm impatient to pilot! That's different!_"

"Alright, Artoo. The ship is all yours. Take us to Coruscant!"

And he did.

The trip was slightly boring and uneventful. It was only a couple of hours before we arrived that we decided to talk about the plans for the day. Considering that when we left it was late morning and that Coruscant was eight hours ahead of Dantooine and that the trip took slightly over nine hours, well, we would land there probably at three in the morning, give or take half an hour.

We had some time to discuss our next move.

We gathered in the main crew compartment. The ship wasn't big, it wasn't the Imperial cargo I had traveled with two years before when I had left Blenjeel, that was made for twelve soldiers, it was a small four-posts long-travel ship, but it was functional. The crew compartment occupied a large part of the ship, it was a rectangular space, probably 12x18 square feet. In a corner, there was a small walled space that formed the small bathroom. Just the main structures, a toilet, a sink and a shower, nothing else, but at least it was something. On the other side of the small room, there were the four bunk beds, two on the long wall and two on the short, in angular shape. On either sides of the beds there were small wardrobes for our stuff and on the other corner, the one not occupied by the bunks, was installed a small kitchen with a stove, a fridge and a dishwasher. And, in the middle of the room, a table and some chairs.

It looked like a small house. A spartan, tiny house, but it was functional, and even though those beds weren't the best, but we had to adapt, even though I was beginning to develop some bad chronic neck ache. Yep, I was growing old.

Well, let's make it easy, we had our space for sleep, meals and planning our moves. It wasn't much, but it was a roof over our heads, a floor under our feet and a very fast ship to save our skin just in case.

We gathered all the stuff we had about Jax and his possible hunters and sat at the table with all the datapads on the table in front of us.

"So the plan is this. We sneak into his house, which apparently is still his and has been closed and unused for years now. We get in, take our time to find our lead and then get out as soon as we can. Possibly without leaving tracks behind!" I started.

Obi-Wan nodded. "It should work. But we haven't been on Coruscant for years...I don't even know when we can leave the ship!"

"That's not a problem." said Padmè. "I called Prestor a while ago and he granted us some space at his private residence. We can park there, I had Artoo modify the codes and Ids of this ship to make it look like it has just been acquired by the Royal Aderaan Navy. We're clear on that side."

He shook his head slightly then nodded. "I should have thought you would have done something like this. So, where do we park?"

Padmè fumbled with one of the datapads and loaded a map of the planet and inserted the coordinates. "We park here." she pointed at a a small red dot on the blue screen. "And according to Darrick's notes, Jax lived and worked here!"

Another dot appeared on the screen. Something like half a planet away from there. "Oh...I thought it was closer!" she said apologetically looking at the distance counter between the two spots in the corner of the screen. "I guess that will make it a bit harder to reach."

"Well, Senator Organa lives uptown, in the fashionable part of the planet..." stated Obi-Wan. "Jax lived where he could afford to."

"At least he found a way to make a living...he was good at finding people and things." I replied.

"Yes. Anyway, what do you think you will find?" asked my Master.

"Well, actually, I don't know. I mean, we were thought, when we were kids that if we found ourselves in danger and we had to disappear, we had to go into hiding but leave a trace behind, be it on a computer, a note or anything else." I told them.

"Yes, I remember that. Basically, it's the same thing we did when we disappeared. " said Obi-Wan. "When I left that note in the Council room, I got that idea from that lesson."

"That's what I thought. And I did the same thing, leaving some traces behind as I moved from a place to another."

"Let's just hope he remembered that part of his training too." interjected Padmè. "But there's still a tiny detail. How do we get from here to here? It's at least a six hundred miles long walk!"

"Last time I went there, I used public transports." I said. "It might sound strange but it worked just fine. I mixed with other people and no one even dared to look at me."

They thought about it for a moment then nodded. "As long as Obi-Wan wants to change his clothes!" said Padmè smiling for a moment.

"Oh, that won't be a problem. And I have to agree. The Jedi apparel it's not indicated when you need to keep a low profile!"

And he was right. He stubbornly still wore the old style Jedi tunic and stuff, when Aleha, Darrick, Ahsoka and I changed type of clothing almost immediately after Order 66 or well, my escape from prison. Well, it was time for a change even for him.

"Good..." I looked down at the map of Coruscant on the table. "So...if we leave the ship here...then if they didn't change too many things we could catch the first transport here but we'll have to change a couple of times."

We fell silent again for a moment, before Artoo arrived and suggested the most obvious thing to do. "_Why don't you just borrow a speeder from Senator Organa?_".

"We could but if we get caught, and considering where we are heading it's very likely to happen, we might get Senator Organa into huge troubles." I told him.

I swear, what the did next, was simply hilarious. It looked like he voluntary decided to bang against the adjacent wall, as if punishing himself for saying something stupid or useless, everything followed by a low pitched chirp while he returned to his place. But before he disappeared in the cockpit, he turned his domed head and beeped again. "_What if I change the ID of the speeder and the license plate?_"

"Can you do it?"

I know it might sound stupid and incredible but I'm sure he nodded. "_Of course I can! I just need some time to work and I can do it so well that if the Imperials check on us they won't notice the difference!_"

"Well..." started Obi-Wan. "If you're so sure, then I guess it's time for you to prove your worth! You're hired!"

No need to say that Artoo did a wonderful job while working on that speeder. Right after he make the ship land in the personal landing space of the Embassy of Alderaan, where Senator Organa lived while on Coruscant for his duties in the Senate, that little barrel on wheels literally ran off the ramp and went to speak with the security chief resident if we could borrow a small speeder. He beeped and whistled hastily and I fear the translator couldn't keep up with him.

He was convincing though, because we were still getting the things we needed from the ship that he was already working on the computer of a small, open cabin speeder.

It was three in the morning but the place was rather crowded. There were people working feverishly everywhere around us and while we waited we had the chance to take a look around. The security chief resident escorted us to a rather comfortable waiting room as Artoo worked his wonders.

As soon as we entered, I heard Padmè sighing.

From a large panoramic window, we could see the Palace of the Senate, not too far, probably six miles away from there, and on the other side, the Jedi Temple. That was much more distant, and I admit I felt the Force quake for a moment as both I and Obi-Wan watched in that direction. I had visited that place only two years before, but my Master hadn't set foot on the Capital in eight years, and Padmè for nine. We all had our huge backlog of memories of that place, most of all those places we were looking at in that particular moment. Some good, some bad, but still memories.

Yep, sometimes, memories hurt more than a speeder crash.

"Seems like you like the view!"

We all turned around and saw Prestor Organa standing on the threshold of the waiting room, a broad smile on his face.

Obi-Wan and I promptly bowed respectfully while Padmè wasted no time and walked towards him and hugged him tightly. After all, they were long time friends that didn't see each other so often and it was understandable.

"How was the trip?" he asked as soon as Padmè let him go.

"Nice. Long and boring, but nice. Darrick provided us a good ship." replied Padmè.

"Good. That ship will serve you well, I used it myself many times, when I wanted to travel anonymously. Try to get it back in one piece!" he said, smiling, to me as we sat down at the large table in the middle of the room.

"Well, I tend to blow up starfighters, not cargo ships. I'm don't do stunts with those kind of ships." I replied, trying to defend myself as good as I could.

"Don't worry Senator, I'll keep a good eye on him." added Obi-Wan.

"Good. So, I heard from Padmè you want to go looking for another Jedi! Can I ask you what are you going to do here on Coruscant?"

"He had a small apartment here that served him as an office too, for his private investigation agency. We're going to look there and try to find out if he left something hinting where he was going."

He nodded. "My head of security informed you want to borrow a speeder and that your astrodroid will modify some features. Can I as you why?"

"Because we don't want to put you in danger. If we get caught while looking into his apartment, we don't want to get linked to you. We can get through Imperials, but if they manage to take note of the license plate of your speeder, you can get into a huge and possibly deadly trouble." said Padmè.

"Well, thank you for your attention. But, I don't want to sound intrusive or anything but, what the heck are you doing here with them?" he asked her.

She suddenly laughed softly still wholeheartedly. "Well, it's a long story, but to make it short let's say that the twins wouldn't let them go if I didn't join them!"

"Oh, well, I think it's a great idea."

"And you're the first to say it!"

He smiled. "Well, I can't lie, I'm slightly worried about all of this, most of all about your safety, but as I grew older, I learned that the presence of a woman, most of all a woman as smart as you Padmè, can make the difference in many ways during this kind of missions!"

"That's what the twins said, from their point of view." I said then. "They though she could keep us out of troubles!"

He shook his head slowly. "Knowing you, I fear she will have to tear you out of troubles, more than keeping you out of them. Your reckless deeds were infamously known in the Senate during the war!"

Slightly embarrassed, I looked down on the table for a moment before answering. "Well, those were different circumstances."

"I will make sure these two return home in one piece Senator..." added Obi-Wan. "I don't want to take care of Luke and Leia alone."

"Well said Master Kenobi. Anyway, I'm here at this ungodly hour because I need to tell you that Mon and I are discussing the possibilities of a new large scale attack soon."

"How soon?" asked Padmè.

"Probably three or four months tops. The Empire is setting bases all over Kashyykk and a new shipyard just outside the orbit of the planet since Vader sedated the riots down there some months ago and now the Wookies must keep a low profile if they want to survive..."

"Kashyykk is too important for the Rebellion, we can't allow them to have such a great control of that planet!" replied Obi-Wan.

"That's exactly why we want to keep the Empire away from it as long as we could. We can't afford to lose the Wookies' help now. They are too important and too involved. We can't let them down there rotting in Imperial hands."

"Alright. As soon as you and Mon have decided, inform me and right after we're done looking for Jax, we'll meet on Dantooine to prepare everything." replied Padmè.

"Perfect. Now, I think I'll return to my apartments, it's almost four in the morning and tomorrow I have to be in the Senate rather early. I need some sleep."

We all stood up and greeted him. "Thank you Prestor." said Padmè. "For everything."

"Just find your friend and get your skin back to Dantooine unscratched. Promise me!"

"She won't even see the battle, if one will occur." I said. "If there's something I don't want to happen, it's her getting hurt."

"Then I'll take it as an oath. If she gets hurt more than a bump or a bruise, I swear you'll be bound to desk duty for another month, after these five weeks of suspension Antilles gave you!"

I sighed. "Seems like bad news travel fast!"

"I'm sorry Anakin, he had to report it. And believe me, I think he was too strict with you. There was no need for a suspension. And that rule is stupid anyway...I'll make him change it, there's no need to be so strict in the Rebellion. We're not an army, we're just a bunch of dreamers with a starfighter under our arse. That's all."

"Well, if you say so..."

"Yes, that's the best definition for the Rebellion at this state. Anyway, before I forget, I made sure you'll be furnished with enough weaponry to be auto-sufficient for the next two months, just in case." he said while heading outside. "Now, if you'll excuse me...take good care, everyone, and may the Force be with you."

That said, he walked out of the room and we were left there, waiting another half an hour before a mechanic warned us that Artoo was done and the speeder was ready.

Well, everything begun in that moment.

The ride downtown to Jax's place was filled with an amazing long talk about who Coruscant hadn't changed a bit since nine years before, when Padmè had set foot there for the last time.

Nothing had changed. Still, everything looked different. Someone might think that after the installation of a tyranny, at least the Capital city of the reign, planet, sector or galaxy, would change. Instead, it hadn't changed a bit. Traffic was still the main problem of the city, even though it was a little more disciplined since the army had took over.

Once, when I was a kid, I heard a man saying that everything remains as it never was, when something big happens. He said that when something important happens, the change doesn't make things different, it makes you different.

The Empire had changed little of the physical appearance of the city, but it had changed how I saw it. Buildings were still vertiginous high, the airways were still jammed, people still drove like they had a bomb under their seat, yet everything looked different, at least from my perception.

Suddenly, in that moment, I understood what that man meant. A city is a city, no matter what you do to change it, every big city looks like the other and there's nothing you can do to change it. Anthropologically speaking, a city is a madhouse. That's it. But everything inside it can be seen from billions of points of view. That's what makes them different from one another. From person to person.

Everything remains the same, but our perception changes every time.

I let Obi-Wan drive, at least he wouldn't get car-sick or anything else.

Actually, to be honest, I wasn't in the mood for driving. It's strange but I preferred keep my eyes concentrated on what we had around, looking for troops or other Imperial activity where we were heading.

I felt something in the Force and I wanted to be ready, just in case.

While heading south, Obi-Wan deliberately took the way that ran beside the Temple. While we passed beside the Council Tower, I could see his eyes glistening with tears he hadn't shed for his friends.

"You alright Master?" I asked.

He nodded, forcefully. "Yes, don't worry. Just a bit of nostalgia. I'll be fine."

"If you don't feel up to, I can take the wheel!" I proposed.

"And you think it will make me feel better?" he laughed. "Last time I let you drive a speeder like this I felt sick for a week!"

I raised my hands in defeat. "You decide. We're not that far though, half an hour and we should be there."

And half an hour later, we were there. I wasn't too familiar with that part of town but we found the place almost instantly. He lived in the lower part of Coruscant, a low-cost apartment in a highly populated building that consisted in endless levels of small apartments for singles or poor families who couldn't afford anything else. Some were owned, others were rented to people who worked there for short periods or were waiting to find a way out of Coruscant. It was a stressful planet, I can tell you. Endless traffic, nonstop noise...yep, it was terrible. And it wasn't cheap. At all.

Anyway, we parked the speeder and jumped off.

After he had entered into the turbolift, as the doors closed, a sudden thought struck me.

"Everything begins here."

* * *

_Sorry, I'm sorry I'm sorry it's taking me a hell of a lot of time to complete each chapter but life is getting in the way. At least I'm finally getting where I want to arrive. From chapter 9 to 12 they were most of all linking chapters because I needed literally to bring the characters from a place to another. The story starts now. The next chapter will be a rather calm one, except for the ending, but after that, expect something big, because Coruscant is the perfect setting for a great speeder chase. Does this ring a bell or two? I just watched From Paris With Love and I decided I wanted a huge speeder chase through the airways of Coruscant, damn, I need it! _

_Anyway, this is it. This time I think I did a better job. Sorry for chapter 11 but it seems like when I get to that number I freak out. At least this time it didn't take me 4 years to write chapter 11! This one's a little better, I think. Well, you judge. See ya next time!_


	13. Riddler Riddler

**Chapter 13 – Riddler Riddler**

It took us less than a minute to reach the right floor.

The building was one of those typical buildings on Coruscant. The first hundred of levels were probably centuries old, and when there had been the need for more low cost apartments, builders simply added more and more floors, re-enforcing the original structure so it could hold on and not crumble under the tremendous weight it had to stand.

It was really a miracle it was still holding on. I would have been scared to death if I lived in that kind of place. And that was the usual architecture of the Capital Planet, which means that every freaking building of that planet was built using that device, since all the space had been used and occupied and there was no more room for new and better built structures.

Anyway, Jax had purchased an apartment in the last section of the building, the newest one. It was probably less than a century old, considering the condition it was in. the turbolift was old and noisy, there were tags and graffiti everywhere and the long, filthy corridor it led us wasn't better. It was a long, dark hallway with two infinite rows of doors on each wall. Probably fifty years had passed since someone had decided to clean it for the last time and I can't even start describing the terrible smell that pervaded the area. It was terrible, it reminded me the smell of the average spaceport public restroom all around the galaxy.

Even my cell was cleaner.

Anyway, still silently, we walked towards the apartment. Darrick had gathered a large amount of info about that place, but still he didn't have the key. When we reached the right door, well, we didn't have many things we could do.

"Should we kick it down?" asked Padmè inspecting the electronic lock.

"No need." I pulled my lightsaber from underneath my leather jacket and ignited it, then pulled the searing blade through the thin durasteel layer that formed the door and the wall. I drew a rather large semi-circle around the lock and then turned the blade off. Using the back of the hilt of my weapon, I pushed the still red-hot metal away, so the door was now unlocked. Well, I had removed the lock itself, it was obviously opened! "That's the moment I wish I could _shatterpoint_ things up!" I said.

"Don't tell me. I asked many times Master Windu to teach me but each time I could barely scratch what I practiced on!" Replied Obi-Wan as I pushed the door open as soon as the metal was cool enough to handle.

The place was dark and cold. The air seemed unnaturally still as we entered, breaking the quietness of that place.

"Excuse my ignorance, but what's this _shatterpoint _thing?" asked Padmè while looking for the light-switch on the wall at the right.

"It's the particular ability to see weakness of things, and people, through the Force." answered Obi-Wan while finally Padmè found the switch and the dark apartment finally was lit. "Applying enough Force to that point, you actually shatter that thing effortless. That's the _shatterpoint._ Master Windu was probably the greatest user of that technique."

"Interesting..." but I doubt she was actually interesting. We were all looking around us, at the massive mess that pervaded that place. There were tons of seemingly looking junk everywhere.

The small but still not cramped apartment was divided in three sections. The smaller, we guessed was used as a living place. There was a bed, a table, a chair and a portable stove. All pushed against the same wall. Then there was the smallest bathroom I had ever seen, the one on our ship was bigger and I guess that gives you an idea of how small it was, then the larger part of the apartment was used as an office or better a junk deposit.

And I mean it.

There was a large desk with two rather powerful computers, and that seemed to be the tidiest corner of the place, while the rest, well, it was an incredible mess. The walls were all lined with shelf after shelf, all of them full of boxes that probably contained stuff regarding his job but apparently there was no more room for them so he piled them up anywhere he could find space. There were boxes everywhere, the ceiling was covered with a chart of the galaxy and the Unknown Territories...some planets were highlighted or pin-pointed with colored dots...

Lots of planets were actually pin-pointed. Felucia, Coruscant, Dantooine, Kashyykk, Corellia, Tatooine, Naboo, Nar Shaddah, Dagobah and Onderon...even Mustafar and Geonosis and Hoth! Some were highlighted in green, some others in red and others in blue or white, apparently without logic, considering that both Naboo and Mustafar were highlighted in blue and those planets don't have anything in common.

We all looked around in disbelief, stunned by all that somehow controlled chaos.

"What the hell was he working on?" I asked.

"I don't know, but he was very concentrated on it, or so it seems." replied my Master.

"Where do we start looking?" asked Padmè.

"I don't have the faintest idea." I said. "I guess one of us can start with the computer and the others can work on these boxes!"

"Alright." she said sternly. "I'll start with the computers and call Lysveet because I fear I won't go too far, you too go look through those boxes. What do you think?"

Obi-Wan and I exchanged a look. "That's perfect." he said as we both started rummaging through the closest box.

In less than five minutes, Padmè had already contacted Lysveet and through her patented device she was already going through one of the two computers, the one that looked nastier in matters of digital security, while Padmè worked on the others, still under her careful guidance.

I could hear them talking through the comlink about files and stuff like that while I went through the boxes. The first ten I managed to look at were all filled with files of people Jax had found during the first years of his private investigation activity. Junk, as I had said but as I went to grab another from the bottom of a shelf, I found something carved under the plastic lid of it.

It looked strange but not too much, so I didn't cared much about it and kept going, as Obi-Wan did the same on the other side of the room.

It almost looked like an endless job. It was like looking for a drop of water on Tatooine. We were looking for something but we didn't know what, and even if we had the Force to guide us, it wasn't easy.

No really, it was impossible.

And long. Incredibly long.

Before we noticed it, dawn had come and gone and the sun shone brightly out of the small window, bathing the place in a long-forgotten but still very familiar kind of light that was visible only on Coruscant. That incredibly bright light of a rather close sun, filtered by countless layers of an exploited atmosphere and pollution. It seemed like the sunlight was amplified by the air of the planet, making it almost white.

And still we were feverishly working trying to find something, even though our brains called us for some rest.

Finally, by midday, Obi-Wan had the greatest idea of that day.

"I'm sorry, I can't take it anymore. If I don't concentrate on something else I will explode. I'm going to grab something to eat, want something?" he said wiping his hands from dust and filth on his black pants.

"Great idea." I said. "We'll keep working here while we wait for you!"

"Perfect. I hope Dex's place is still working or I'll have to go for bothan take away...I'll be here as soon as I can."

And so we worked.

Padmè had managed to open almost every area of Jax's computer and Lysveet was working remotely on the other one but there was something blocking her. She worked as hard as she could but sometimes she lost signal and had to redo some things and actions and that was slowing her down. Add to this the fact that Jax had become a very good computer engineer during the years and could build his own unconventional protection software...well, her job was incredibly hard.

Still, she worked as hard and fast as she was allowed to, while still going through the daily routine of the base. She was actually doing many things at the same time, hacking that computer, checking things at the base and trying to get an old computer back to work after its motherboard had been fried by an energy overcharge.

I still can't believe she is so multitasking.

Anyway, finally I found something.

Remember that carving under the lid of a box? Well, during the previous hours I had found six other boxes with similar carvings but when I found the seventh carvings, something came up in my mind.

Jax loved riddles and enigmas.

He loved them so much that he designed and invented many riddles or games that we always tried to resolve but we succeeded only few times in our lives.

And the seventh lid looked like the hidden key of a graphic riddle. And the other carved lids were the hints.

"How the hell can I be so stupid sometimes, I don't really know!" I snapped angrily at myself as I went looking for the other boxes that I had put exactly where I had found them.

My angry burst made Padmè jump in her chair. "What are you talking about?"

"I think I found the water in the Jundland Wastes!" I said as I pulled the fourth box pulled out of the shelf and placed the lid in front of it, leaning on the box itself.

I stopped for a moment to look at her and saw only uncertainty.

"It's an old saying Padmè, don't worry. I think I found something!"

"What?"

I gestured at the shelves in front of me, with the carved lids of the boxes well exposed for viewing. "Here, look at the opened boxes. Jax always loved riddles and he was good at creating them, as much as he was at solving them. I found these carves under the lids of those six boxes and this..." and I showed her the seventh one in my hands. "...I think this is the key to solve them!"

Padmè took a step closer to the boxes and took a careful inspection of them. "I...Do you think you can solve it?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't really know. I'm sure Darrick could but...I'm not that good!"

"Hey there you two!" shouted Lysveet from the comlink on the desk. "Take a freaking picture of that thing and sent it here!"

"Do you think you can help us?" I asked.

I'm sure that on the other side of the comlink, she banged her head on her desk, considering the loud thump that echoed in Jax's apartment. "Probably, but you said Darrick would surely do it, and I can have him here in five minutes!"

Well, she had her point! We did as ordered and while she still worked on the computer security systems, Padmè, Darrick and I started a conjoined effort to crack that riddle.

It was a graphic one. After a short but significant time, we all came to realize that the carvings looked likle letters of the Hutt alphabet. But it wasn't the Hutt alphabet or I would have recognized it immediately! That was the problem.

About half an hour later, Obi-Wan returned with our lunch, we quickly explained what we had found out and he suddenly dropped the small box and went rummaging through one of the last boxes he had opened before he left. After a couple of minutes of going through a huge pile of paper, he drew something from the paper folds.

"I had the strange feeling this was going to be useful at some point!" he said showing us a square of transparent plastic sheet with something written on it.

It looked like a graphic or some kind, there were arrows on it, lots of arrows and lines crossing each other all over the page. It was a bit strange...

"Wow...This is getting incredibly complicated!" I said while studying for a while the new discovery.

"Exactly what I was thinking a while ago. And I think it's time for lunch!" replied Obi-Wan grabbing the box with our meal. "And we're lucky Dex is still alive and cooking!"

And in that moment I realized I was really starving.

We took a while to relax a moment and eat.

Well, like we were actually relaxing a bit! When Darrick had arrived in Lysveet's office we sent them all the pictures of everything we had found. And yes, we were working even while we were eating. Not the best thing to do actually...

At some point I was half laying on the floor with a sandwich in one hand and a big disposable can of my drink in the other, my eyes fixed on the boxes while I tried to find a connection or something that could give us a hint or two so we could solve the riddle but still it eluded me. The whole thing was elusive. I mean, those carvings really looked like a form of letter, a strange unknown alphabet that I didn't know but I had vague memories of seeing it when I was a kid.

Still, I couldn't remember when, or how or why I had these memories.

We worked on that for hours, trying to figure out anything.

Nothing. Even Darrick couldn't figure it out and that was strange indeed!

"I can't understand! And at this rate, it could take days!" burst out Obi-Wan at some point. It was getting late and still Lysveet couldn't crack that damn computer!

It took her less time to crack into the Imperial servers...you can imagine how Darrick had decided to protect that thing! That feature gave us the complete certainty that what we were looking for was in that computer.

It was getting late. Dusk was approaching and still we didn't know where to begin. We had tried every kind of code, everything, from old Jedi encryption methods to even older, and prohibited, Sith encryption keys.

We were really scraping the barrel there and still got nothing anywhere.

Until Padmè had the intuition that started the landslide of ideas which led to the right one. She was looking at the piece of transparent plastic Obi-Wan had found hours before when suddenly she sat up straight in her chair.

"Is it me or those letters look like the Ancient Toydaran Alphabet?"

"Ancient Toydaran?" I asked. "Why, there's even a New Toydaran Alphabet? I thought they were too busy gambling to write!"

"Don't be stupid Anakin! Of course they can write, they are a very advanced civilization, they can read, write and produce some literature. It deals pretty much about stealing and gambling, but it's literature nonetheless."

"Do you think you can read it?" asked my Master.

"I don't think so. I saw it just a couple of times on official visits in a museum, nothing more!"

"Hey, I found a transliteration into aubersh." said Lysveet from Dantooine. "I'm sending it now!"

On the screen of the hacked computer appeared the image with the old and new alphabets.

Well, at least it was a bit clearer.

"Alright, we have the alphabet, now we can start translating it!" said Obi-Wan.

"Not so fast Master..." said Darrick. "Apparently, the sequence doesn't makes any sense. At least, I don't speak Toydaran, but I don't think it's made only by consonants!"

"No way, Toydaran is full of vowels!" I replied, since I actually spoke Toydaran!

"Great, more problems...what do we do now?" asked Obi-Wan.

"We get back to work and stop whining, that's it." said Padmè. "It can't be impossible, no riddle is impossible!"

Well, that certainly looked to be impossible. It took us almost six hours to break it! Then finally Darrick had an idea.

"What if Jax mixed the letters?" he snapped in the silence that filled the room.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that the last thing you found, the transparent sheet...what if you superimpose it on the last lid you found? It looks like it's the complete Toydaran alphabet..."

I grabbed the seventh plastic lid and did as he told us. And he was damn right.

The transparent sheet overlapped perfectly over the plastic lid and each arrow and line had a correspondent on the other side but there was nothing at the end of the lines. "Alright, it works but...which alphabet should we use? Common or Hutt?" I asked.

"I don't know..." he replied. "Try them both!"

I was about to go look for a pen and write the two alphabets beside the lines but Lysveet was faster than me. "Ok, I have it...give me a moment and..." we waited in silence as she worked her wonders on her computer. "Here it is that nasty critter! It's practically common written in Hutt grammar encoded with a flipped ancient Toydaran alphabet...damn, your friend is quite a genius here!"

"So, what does it say?"

"Well, if you form a sentence from all the carvings on all the lids, it actually says this: _A Jedi shall not know love..."_

Jax was a genius. Indeed. And had a certain sense of humor. He was indeed good at this kind of things! It took us six hours to find out the trick!

Anyway, Lysveet promptly typed the sentence in the password space of the still intact computer and, as if by magic, it opened like it was nothing.

Suddenly, the screen filled with tabs and windows coming out from nowhere, charts, maps, lists, images, newsfeed from the holonews...an incredible amount of data was stored or was being stored in that computer, Jax was keeping a really close eye on everything regarding the Jedi and the survivors of Order 66 from nine years before up to that moment, all live streaming. He had programmed that computer to look for every information about the Jedi, the Inquisitors, Vader and the Emperor personally to be stored in that computer.

"Guys, your friend is a hell of a hacker. Look what he did! This is all handwritten programming! He's really a genius!" stated Lysveet through the comlink.

We were baffled. I had known him for years and I didn't know he was that good with computer. At all. "I don't know what to say!" I said. "I didn't know he was that good!"

"Well, when you're in danger, you learn how do to things!" replied Obi-Wan. "But I have to admit I never thought he could have been that good at this kind of things!"

"Well, let me tell you, he's the best amateur hacker I've ever seen! He even created a fake facade of operative system that constantly deviated every attempt to hack it! And I didn't notice it! I must meet this guy, try to get him here in one piece please!" she pleaded "He's a great riddler and a wonderful hacker!"

"We'll try Lysveet..." laughed Padmè. "But what can you say now that it's open?"

"Well, I can say that this computer acts both as a server and client, which means that it stores data and relays them to another device but right now I can't identify it. I dare to guess he uses this computer as a base but can access it from a portable device. A datapad or laptop. The last direct access to the main computer, not remote access therefore, is dated two and half years ago, so he's been at the apartment around that time." she said. "He added the...you won't believe this!"

"What?" asked in unison Obi-Wan, Padmè and I.

"He was tracking down every survivor of Order 66!" interjected Darrick. "There's a very detailed list of all the survivors and their position and movements!"

And finally, the whole star map on the ceiling made sense. It was a list of planets where Jedi had found refuge over the years. And he kept track of them on the ceiling.

"Is there a key for the colours on this map?"

"What map?" asked Darrick.

"In the apartment, there's a full galaxy map on the ceiling. Some planets, lots of planets, are marked with colours. I want to know what they stand for!" I told them.

"Wait a second Rosh..." came Lysveet's voice. "Here..." on the other screen appeared an image.

So, blue stood for no longer safe. Green was for Jedi-safe planet. Red was for caution. Yellow was for abandoned and white was for a confirmed Jedi on that planet.

"And this is the list of the survivors and their whereabouts, last updated two and half years ago." continued Lysveet.

So we had a list of every survivor and their possible location...well, it wasn't bad to start with! Too bad we didn't have his location! Damn it!

"Alright, download everything then lock the computer again, I don't want the Empire to find it!" ordered Obi-Wan. "I don't want to stay here too long, I have a strange feeling!"

"You too Master?" I asked looking up at him.

He nodded, serious. "Yes. There's something wrong and I don't like it. I wan to get out of here as fast as I can."

"Yes sir..." I said. "We should destroy the keys of the riddle, just in case the Empire gets here..."

And that something wrong that both Obi-Wan and I had been sensing for at least an hour happened then!

"Too late!" came the metallic voice of a trooper behind us. "Hands up and surrender. You're under arrest!"

I sighed...it was getting a lot harder than what I was hoping for...but at least we would have had some fun!

* * *

_So...tiny tiny (well, not actually...it's seven pages long while I had planned to be five!) chapter. Hope the whole thing holds on, I'm actually better at solving riddles than create them! Really, I hope it sounds realistic. And I have the feeling it doesn't. _

_Anyway, hope you liked it. And now, off with the chase! Well, after I watched Castle..._


	14. Surrounded And Spiraling

_Before I forget to ask you...is there any other outtake from Over the hills or even Red Rain so far you want me to write for "The Missing Moments"? Because I have some ideas but since I started that series for all my readers and not only for the sake of writing...if you have requests, anything, prompts or stuff like that, PM or review alike, I'll take everything!_

* * *

**Chapter 14 - Surrounded and Spiraling**

_"Hands up and surrender. You're under arrest!"_

That was something I called perfect timing. Slowly, Obi-Wan and I turned around, trying to hide Padmè behind us, so the troops on the doorstep wouldn't see her and slowly raised our hands over our heads.

"Standard defensive maneuver?" I asked, whispering.

He nodded and took a deep breath. "I guess it will do."

"Keep your hands over your head and shut up!" burst the trooper. "You're under arrest by Imperial Authority."

Time for the usual stuff. There were five troopers on that floor. One inside the room, aiming his rifle at us and intimating us to surrender. Two behind him, just outside the door and two by the elevator, at the end of the hallway. Nothing too difficult, we had been both in worse situations.

I was already prepared to extract my saber from the hidden holster behind my back when Obi-Wan started the famous maneuver.

"Are you really sure we're the guys you're looking for?" he asked.

"Of course we are! We're not dumb!" shouted the trooper. "Now turn around and keep your hands up. You're coming with us!"

"Are you really sure you don't want to let us go?" he asked again. He was having fun taunting them, I could feel it. He was barely keeping from laughing out loud while mocking them. He wasn't even trying to use the Mind Trick on them, he just wanted to have some fun!

"Shut up and keep your hands up!" he shouted this time.

"Alright alright! No need to shout!" We both turned around. Padmè silently looked up at me, seeking help or directions.

"Don't worry..." I whispered. "Just stay put and drop down on the floor when the fires ignite ok?" I told her.

She nodded and waited.

"Put your hands behind your back." ordered the trooper. Suddenly, his voice was a bit unsteady.

Slowly, we obeyed. "That's too easy..." I said then, feeling the hilt of my saber under my jacket, with the back of my hand.

"What's too easy?" asked the now scared trooper.

"This..."

I pulled the hilt of my weapon out and, spinning on my feet, I turned it on just in time so the blade would cut his head of neatly. He didn't have the chance to feel the pain and the heat from the blade.

"What the..." was the scream coming from one of the room as Obi-Wan's blade came to live along with mine.

"Bet you didn't expect this!"

After that, it was a shower of blasts, easily deviated on the roof, walls and floor of the flat, creating small nicks in the metal. In less than ten seconds the two troopers dropped dead on the floor, the holes in their armors still smoking.

But it wasn't over yet. There were two troopers yet, on the same floor, right beside the turbolift, and they were coming fast. We could hear their heavy steps and the clangor of their armor echoing in the narrow hallway.

But they weren't lucky enough, as soon as they turned to enter, they met two lightsabers right on their path. Obi-Wan and I had moved each on one side of the door and were waiting for them. Right in the moment they stepped inside, their rifles ahead of them, they met a very fast death. I cut their weapons in two, both of them, and sent them clattering on the floor, while my former Master proceeded the job and eliminated them. They followed their weapons in a split second.

As soon as they fell on the floor, we turned off our weapons and put them back under our jacket.

"This is not getting good..." I sighed.

"Wow! I had almost forgot how fast you can move!" exclaimed Padmè from her spot.

"And that wasn't even that fast..." replied Obi-Wan. "But you're right, we can't stay here. And we need to hide our tracks."

"Is everything alright Master Kenobi?" asked Darrick through the comlink.

"Yeah it's fine Darrick, just a minor Imperial inconvenience. What do we need to do?" he went on.

"Nothing..." answered Lysveet. "I can do everything from here. Just destroy the decryption key and possibly part of the message, just to hijack them. You get out of there, I put everything back in its place and leave a message for your friend, just in case he tries to log into his computer. Now get out of there!"

"Thank you Lysveet, see ya!" I said, folding the plastic sheet with the key and securing it in one of the many pockets of my jacket, while Obi-Wan took care of destroying one or two of the lids with the parts of the riddle.

"Asphyxia is here, just call me!"

"Call us when your back to your ship!" we heard Darrick shout before we unplugged the comlink and ran away.

"Ok, now what do we do?" asked Padmè.

"We run out of here back to our ship. And we pray there are no more troops on our way." I replied. "Grab one of their rifles, we might need your help."

She promptly obeyed and we ran out of the place, much to my relief, even if I knew perfectly well we weren't safe yet. But at least we were out of that place. We ran towards the turbolift and I kept my saber turned on, just in case, and turned it off only when the doors sealed in front of us, and the lift started it's forty seconds long ride to the roof of the building.

"I don't like this. Why were they there?" Asked Obi-Wan.

I shook my head. "I have no idea. And I don't intend to stay here long enough to find out. As soon as we get out of Imperial eyes, I want to leave this planet." I replied.

Padmè was checking her newly acquired weapon and I saw her shacking her head. "I don't have much ammo, so please, in case we have actually to fight, try to make it quick." she said releasing the safety lever.

"Don't worry, in case you finish your ammo, you can always drive!" replied Obi-Wan.

"Oh, fantastic, this is getting better and better by the moment!"

I took a deep breath and tried to concentrate, in order to find out if there were other Imperial agents up there, but I couldn't concentrate hard enough, there was too much interference in the Force. I wasn't used to so crowded places like Coruscant and all those living beings around me were intruding into my attempts to feel the environment around. It was unnerving to say the least.

"When the doors open, be prepared for anything. I can't really feel if there's someone out there!" I said, warning them.

"I think there's someone, I don't know who, I don't know how many, but there's definitely someone up there." said Obi-Wan. "It feels weird, there's something strange in the Force tonight."

"You feel it too?"

He nodded. "Yes. And it makes my skin crawl. We must get out of here!"

And then the doors opened and there was a whole squad on the roof waiting for us. Startled by our arrival, it took them a second or two to realize that we had escaped their fellow soldiers downstairs and that they had to stop us. Or kill us, don't know what their orders were.

Well, they waited too long. Two lightsaber blades turned on and Obi-Wand and I launched forward towards them right a moment before they started shooting at us. They seemed to ignore Padmè, who promptly ran behind our speeder not too far from the entrance of the lift, and concentrated on us, and we could easily send their laser blasts back to the sender, hitting some of them and sending them to the ground, if not dead at least unconscious, while Padmè did an amazing job, a usual, shooting at them from her cover.

But as easy as it looked and as fast as it ended, it looked too easy and too fast. Imperials usually moved in large numbers, at least two or three squads at a time, and I knew back ups were coming. I couldn't feel it but I knew it, by experience. Clones always travel in packs, huge packs, not single units. They were trained that way and I doubt the Empire had other military standards. In the end, they were a marvelous army, why change their training?

As the last trooper fell on the ground, beheaded by Obi-Wan, silently we jumped in the speeder and Padmè started the engine, lifting off the ground as soon as the anti-gravitational thrusters were ready, and sped in the trafficked airways of Coruscant, trying to get as much space as we could from the backups that had been called.

I turned around and saw three Imperial air speeders approaching. Three speeders meant at least twelve troopers. I didn't like it at all.

"Padmè, Obi-Wan, can you switch places while going?" I asked.

The both looked at me as if I had said the dumbest thing on the planet. "What do you mean?"

"No offense meant but Obi-Wan has a bit more experience in this kind of driving and I might need your aim to take those fuckers down." I pointed at the three speeders that were gaining ground quickly.

"This is crazy Anakin!" shouted Obi-Wan above the roar of the engines and the traffic.

"I know, but if she takes them down before they get here we might arrive to our ship safe and sound!"

They exchanged an unsure look but obeyed nonetheless and swapped position. Heck, it was really a stupid idea, because we slowed down for several seconds, allowing the Imperials to get close enough to start firing upon us.

"Oh come on!" I whined as I ducked to avoid their shots above my head. "Why must they always shoot like that? They'll hit everything but us!"

I stood up on the backseat and deviated the few blasts that actually managed to arrive in the right direction, sending them back where they came from, sometimes hitting a trooper. But the distance and the rebound on my blade weakened the shot and I barely could bruise them, probably stun them for a second or two when I was lucky. At that rate, it would have taken hours to get rid of them.

Carefully, Padmè slipped beside me, crouched down so she was at least protected from her neck down, and started shooting back at the troopers. Even at the ludicrous speed that Obi-Wan managed to drive that thing, she was as precise as a surgeon, even with such an imprecise weapon.

"If only I could get my E-5 I would be happier!" I heard her shout over the noise.

"Where is it?" I asked.

"In the compartment in the back of the speeder!"

Well, if she needed a better weapon, I would give her a better weapon. Using the Force, I pulled the lever that opened the compartment and the lid lifted in front of us, revealing the large compartment it covered. The sudden change in the aerodynamic of the speeder made it shudder and sweep a couple of time before it stabilized. Covered by the thick metal lid, Padmè sneaked closer and found her favorite carbine, then pull the lid close and sneak back at her place.

With the new rifle in her hands, I swear she was even more precise. Her aim was incredible, she had a natural sense of shooting, I could tell that.

But it wasn't getting any easier. At all.

More and more troops were coming chasing us, and at a certain point I could count at least seven speeders on our tail, shooting at us. We couldn't just keep going like that. At that speed, soon we would run out of gas and that would be our end. While Padmè kept shooting, I crouched down and tried to talk to Obi-Wan for a moment. Well, shout, not talk.

"Get us closer!"

"Are you crazy?" he shouted back.

"Possibly, but if we won't stop them soon we'll run out of gas!"

He shook his head and sighed. "What's your plan?" he asked. "Jump into a speeder after the other and kill them?"

"That's the idea!"

He thought about it for a moment. "As stupid as it sound, it might work. Hold fast, both of you!"

Then he stomped on the brakes, the speeder slowed down considerably and we were at jump length. Perfect.

"Wish me good luck!" then I stood up and jumped towards one of speeders behind us and landed on the front of their vehicle.

The move stunned them, leaving them defenseless long enough so I could shove a couple of them down in the air and knock out a third one. Then I turned to the driver and turned on my lightsaber just an inch from his throat. "Now, you drive right to your friends up there then you get away from here. Clear?"

He nodded. Mind tricks still worked on the clones. Not always, but most of the time, it was the perfect tactic.

And fortunately he did as ordered. He drove up to the closer speeder and let me jump on it, then flew away. In less than ten seconds he was so far I couldn't see him anymore through the myriad of cars and vehicles around us.

When I landed on the second transport, though, they were prepared. As soon as I touched the metallic cover of the engine, they started shooting at me. But at that distance, saber beats blaster ten to zero. While deviating their shots, I also had the chance to kill, or at least main, all the troopers that were shooting at me. It didn't take longer than seconds, then I tricked the driver like the other. The scene repeated for five times until I found a slightly headstrong trooper. Or possibly he was just a terrible driver because he bumped into the speeder next to the one I was standing on, preparing to jump, and I lost stability, dangerously slipping down.

For a moment, a very long, terrifying moment, I thought I was dead, but I managed to get hold of the rim of the cabin of the vehicle.

Luckily I didn't lose my saber in the process.

Suddenly, everything looked a bit too similar to the chase of Zam Wessel, nearly thirteen years before. Only that this time we were being chased and the chasers were more than two.

I hanged there for a moment, trying not to loose grip on the sleek surface I was holding on, I hanged my weapon at my belt so I could hold onto the car with two hands, which gave me the chance to crawl inside the cabin and get rid of those who occupied it. It was a race against time, I had to be quick because more troops were coming, I could hear their communications through the comlinks on their speeders.

After I was done with the seventh transport, I tricked the last driver and jumped back in our vehicle, before the fooled trooper would rush out of the airlane.

"Well, it wasn't such a bad idea in the end." I said sitting in the backseat.

I dare to say I said the worst thing I could do in that moment. Padmè turned around and hit me. Hard.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" she asked angrily.

"I was trying to get us out of this situation!"

"By jumping from speeder to speeder at I don't know what height like there's a safety net underneath you? You could have died!"

She was talking about my stunt when I had almost fallen, about five minutes before. And I couldn't deny it, she was definitely right. As usual I had acted too reckless. For a moment, I had forgot she was with us, watching me doing my usual neck-breaking stunts. For a moment, it felt like being back during the war, well that kind of action was our daily fix.

I sighed and sagged back on the seat. "I'm sorry Padmè...I didn't want to scare you!"

"Well you did!" she snapped. "Next time try not to do it in front of me! I almost had a heart attack!"

"I'm sorry Padmè but at least we're safe now!"

She looked at me, bewildered, for a second or two then turned and glanced at the airway in front of her through the windshield. "Don't do that again."

"I'll try, but I can't promise anything!"

She seemed satisfied by my answer and I leaned back on the seat and relaxed for a moment. The situation seemed to have somehow settled and normalized. I hid my lightsaber back underneath my jacket and sighed, while Obi-Wan slowed down and reached the usual speed for that kind of traffic, and most of all stopped driving as if we had ten TIE-Fighters behind us. I realized then that running at that speed, we were halfway back to our ship.

Suddenly, I found myself wishing we had never left Dantooine. In that precise moment, I felt like I didn't belong there, to the action of that short but trouble-packed chase through the airways of Coruscant. I didn't feel the thrill of the hunt, the rush of adrenaline that just a year before would have made me incredibly agitated, as if I was high on some kind of drug. I just wanted to be at home with Padmè and the twins. Just that.

My perception of life had changed totally in the last year and I barely could recognize myself. Actually, I could barely recognize my own thoughts.

I was so engrossed in my thoughts that I had barely the time to brace myself when Obi-Wan stomped on the brakes again, making them screech loudly and coming to a sudden halt in the middle of the airway.

"Oh, fantastic, now we just needed this!" he groaned tightening his grip on the steering wheel.

We were surrounded.

They had lured us into a trap. A hidden checkpoint. They had tricked us!

"What do we do now?" asked Padmè deftly reloading her rifle with a new power cell.

"I have a couple of ideas but it would be too dangerous." I said from the backseat. "Let's see what they'll do."

Their move came quickly.

"Drop your weapons and stand up, hands over your head!" came an amplified voice from one of the air speeders.

At that point, a crazy idea came up in my mind. I stood up and raised my hands over my head, as we had been told.

"What are you doing?" asked my Master.

"Just do it and you'll see. I have an idea." I replied as they stood up themselves. Padmè let her carbine fall on the floor of the floor of the speeder with a loud thud.

"I hope it's not like the other idea you had tonight!" said Padmè, a slightly sarcastic tone in her voice.

I shook my head. "No, don't worry. It's easier and not that dangerous." I replied. "Just wait and see."

"I really hope you know what you're doing!" stated Obi-Wan.

"I never mastered the technique but I think I can obtain a decent result nonetheless!"

Both Padmè and Obi-Wan sighed and waited for my move.

But I wanted to wait a moment or two. I wanted to see all the speeders around us clearly, and I didn't want any casualties to happen. I didn't want any innocent person to be harmed in any way.

"What are you waiting for?" asked Obi-Wan, slightly worried.

"Wait and see...I don't want to harm anyone except the troopers."

"I really hope you're not going to do what I think you are, because if something goes wrong we're in great danger!"

"Have a little faith in me Master, please!"

I took a look around me and thought everything was good to act.

I took a deep breath, concentrated for a moment then as quick as I could I lowered my right hand, grabbed the hilt of my saber and with a circular motion threw it in front of me, just as its blue blade came to lfe.

Holding my breath, I controlled its trajectory using the Force as it flew midair. Damn, it was incredibly hard, my weapon threatened to go spiraling out of control any moment and keeping concentrated on such a tiny and lethal object was terribly difficult to hold it steady, most of all with the mess around me, and the stress of the situation.

But nevertheless, I managed to keep it from falling, from turning off or change trajectory. Smoothly, it flew in circular motion, cutting everything it found on its way, from weapons to limbs or heads. From my point of view, that circle seemed endless. It felt like it took forever for the saber to complete it, smoothly landing in my outstretched hand, while in reality it took less than three seconds.

Three incredibly long seconds.

Panting heavily, I grabbed my weapon and fell back on the seat, exhausted. I had never exercised a lot on the saber throwing technique, well, actually I barely knew the motion to throw it correctly but, heck, that was a hell of a good thrown. It gave us the chance to eliminate a lot of enemies and maim or at least shock the rest, so Obi-Wan could start the engine again and drive past the checkpoint to safety. Or something similar.

When we were far enough to consider ourselves saved at least for the moment, Obi-Wan drove the speeder in a much lesser trafficked airlane and parked for a moment, then turned around and faced me.

"Where did that come from?"

I shook my head. "I have no idea. I didn't even know I could do it, I just...did and it worked!" I replied. "And I'm exhausted."

"I can bet on it!" he said. "It takes years to master saber throwing and you did it in three seconds. And what you did is amazing! I've never seen a thrown so precise!"

"Thank you...I think I'll work on that."

After that, he started driving again in the airlane and headed back to our ship, while I relaxed a bit in the back seat. At some point, during the rather silent drive, Padmè climbed in the seat beside me and hugged me tightly.

"I'm sorry for earlier."

"Don't worry. It was nothing. And you were right, I should have paid more attention. It won't be repeated."

She shook her head. "You know very well you can't promise me that. Just be careful ok?"

I nodded and kissed her. "I'll be."

I let my head back on the padded seat and sighed, looking at the crowded air above me. I could see the roofs of many buildings passing by, all their twinkling lights were almost blinding. That was the main problem of Coruscant by night, its lights were so dazzling and blinding you could barely see the sky. Of course the stars were obscured but even the city lights were overbearing. It felt good to be there again after so much time but, heck, I really preferred other planets. Naboo, for examples, was a very populated planet, but its cities were built in such a way you could still see the stars, clearly, shining above you head. Even on Dantooine.

I closed my eyes for a moment and breathed deeply. Even the air was terribly polluted, although it was filtered every moment by powerful machines that cleared it of most of the toxic particles coming from industrial fumes, car gas or heating systems all over the planet. It was giving me a headache. I wasn't used to it anymore and it was hard to breathe.

But around us, everything was finally calm.

Or so I thought.

When I opened my eyes, I saw something, a reddish hue somewhere above us. It took me a while to realize what was that.

I knew it. I had seen it far too many times.

It was a red lightsaber. A Sith's weapon.

"Master, turn around, we have a problem." I snapped sitting up straight, startling both Padmè and Obi-Wan.

"Why?"

"We've got one of the Inquisitors at hand. I don't want to let him go before we question him!"

* * *

_Sorry for the delay. Really, I'm really sorry. I've been studying a lot lately and I've been traveling up and down Italy for a while. I'll try to write the next chapter before leaving for Metal Camp, which starts on July 11__th__ and I'll be back on the 18__th__, heck, six days of metal...can't wait to see Slayer playing live...anyway, I'll try to write the next one before I leave but I can't promise that. It depends on what I'll have to do before I leave. So...finally the chase arrived but, heck, in the end I decided to place more action in the next one, which is gonna be a tricky lightsaber fight with the first villain of the story. No, it's not Dalan, he'll come much later, but he's though nonetheless. Have fun and I'll be waiting for your requests as written above._

_Lova ya!_


	15. Just A Taste Of What You Paid For

**Chapter 15 – Just A Taste Of What You Paid For**

Obi-Wan turned for a moment and looked up left. He must had seen the red glow of his lightsaber because he suddenly stomped on the brakes and turned abruptly left. A myriad of horns sounded around us as the other drivers protested for our sudden turn. He pulled the speeder up towards that rooftop and pushed on the gas pedal as if his life depended on it.

I grasped the hilt of my lightsaber and braced myself to jump. I wanted to be on him before he could get away as we arrived.

"Are you sure of what you're doing?" asked Padmè above the noise of the wind around us.

I shook my head. "No way. I don't have the faintest idea."

"Then why are you openly going against him?" asked Obi-Wan. "We might even be going against Dalan himself!"

I took my time to answer that question. I was trying to concentrate on the Inquisitor, trying to have a better idea of our adversary, but there was something...it felt like he was creating a sort of midst around his echo in the Force, preventing me, or anyone else, to feel him through the Force and therefore catch a better knowledge of him, even a tiny glimpse of his state of mind. Nothing. Just a hazy barrier all around him.

"I don't know. I just...I have a feeling!" I replied.

"Good or bad?" he asked.

"Neutral." that was the main problem. A good or a bad feeling was something definite, with a distinct characteristic or stuff like that, a neutral feeling could mean anything, from certain death to absolutely nothing. I didn't like it. At all. Believe me, all I wanted in that moment was a clear idea of who we were about to face.

He shrugged his shoulders as he brought the speeder on the rooftop and sighed. "Well, at least that."

Once the speeder halted, probably fifty yards away from the harmed Inquisitor, we all thought he was about to running away, but he didn't move. He kept staring at us with that strange, neutral stare. He was as cold as a stone, and as unmoving.

We jumped off the car and stood there for a moment, staring at each other. Padmè was holding her carbine up in defensive position, even if she knew perfectly well that blaster against lightsaber, well, she didn't have any chance. Later she told me she felt a bit better being harmed.

We waited in silence maybe for five minutes straight, just watching at our opponent. He wasn't definitely Dalan. Dalan was tall, blonde and thin, this one was tall, yeah, but he was huge! He was something like a mountain of muscles with long, black hair pulled back in a tight ponytail. His build was massive, he was as big as a tool cabinet. Enormous. Way way taller than me, probably even taller than Vader.

He scared me.

"What do we do now?" asked Padmè.

"What we do better." said Obi-Wan unhooking his lightsaber from his belt.

"And it would be?"

I looked down at her smiling. "Kill Siths!"

She sighed. "Oh, well, that makes me feel a lot better!"

"Don't worry, we know what we're doing!" I replied. "We've been doing it for years!"

"Well, I trust your judgment, but I prefer leaving this in your expert hands. I'll stay here." she said taking a step back towards the speeder.

Obi-Wan and I exchanged a look and nodded. "Good. You stay here. We'll handle this!" he said.

"Good. He's all yours."

Silently we walked towards him. When we were roughly twelve yards from him, he raised his weapon and pointed it towards us. "One more step and I'll be forced to kill you."

Obi-Wan chuckled under his breath, I could see a hint of a smile under his thick beard. "Are you sure you can?"

The huge Inquisitor smiled himself. "Are you sure you can afford to risk and see it by yourself?"

"We've dealt with your kind so many times we've lost the count." I said, faking the confidence I didn't have anymore since nine years before.

He smirked and laughed out loud. "You've never dealt with any of us."

"That's true." replied Obi-Wan. "But every Sith looks like the other. Garbage looks always the same, on every planet of the galaxy."

"If I were you I would watch your mouth, Jedi." his voice lowered of several tones. "I'm not known for my lasting patience."

"Anyway..." I started. "Would it be possible to know who we are facing?" I asked. "You know, I like to know I'm about to behead!"

He lowered his sword for a moment. "Well, since you ask so politely...I am Inquisitor Dyof Beijul. Now that you know my name, would you mind telling me yours?" he asked. "And maybe, tell me also why you're here and what were you doing in Pavan's apartment?"

Well, once we had him talking, he was quite loquacious.

"Since you ask so politely...I am Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker."

"And I am Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi." added my master.

"Oh, so I'm facing the mythical dream team! Finally I have the chance to meet the textbook example!" he exclaimed, suddenly rather excited. "But...let me get this straight. We had received intelligence reports that wanted you dead during your tiny sabotage of the shipyard of Daltarra!"

I shrugged my shoulders. "You know...it's rather easy to pretend to be dead and create a new identity, if you know what to do."

"I see...and you Master Kenobi? We've been looking for you for nearly nine years now!"

"I have my methods. I know how to keep a low profile, when needed!"

"Very well. Now, would you please tell me why you were in Pavan's apartment?"

Obi-Wan and I exchanged an inquisitive look. "Do you want to tell him?" he whispered.

"We're going to kill him all the same. We might even tell him." I replied just as low.

"What if he's bugged?"

I hadn't thought about the chance he could have transmitters on his body. I just hoped he hadn't, because otherwise we were totally fucked up. "Let's hope he's not, but we could always tell him a blatant lie!"

"So, what are you two talking about?" asked the Inquisitor, rather annoyed.

"Nothing. We were just deciding whether we can tell you or not what we were doing there." replied Obi-Wan in the same annoyed tone.

"Do you want to tell me or do I have to try and guess? Because I have a couple of ideas!"

"Mind to share them with us?" I asked. "Maybe one of your ideas is right!"

"Well, either you're looking for him for the sake of friendship, or you're trying to retrieve the Pyronium Crystal in his possession." he said.

Just perfect. He had come out with a right and a wrong idea and I wanted to give him the impression that the second was the right one. Just in case he had bugs on his body and someone was listening on the other side.

"Exactly. We want the crystal. We hoped to find it in his place but we were wrong."

He seemed rather disappointed in my answer. His shoulders sagged slightly as if he hoped I would tell him that we were looking for him for the sake of friendship. I don't know what he was expecting to hear, but after a moment he returned to his previous countenance and back to his menacing expression.

"Good. Now I think we can get down to business. Your lady back there seems to be slightly bored."

I glanced back towards Padmè. She was holding her carbine up at him, her expression was everything but bored. "Oh, don't worry about her. She's fine. But I am the one who's getting bored. Why don't you show us what you can do with that saber?"

"It will be a pleasure."

Fast as light, he drew another saber from his belt and a second blade came to life, matching the other red twin sister. Just what I needed. I was terribly out of shape in matters of lightsaber fighting and this one fought with the same style of Asajj Ventress. I hated the double saber fight style. It had caused me the loss of my arm an many more unpleasant things, such as the scar on my face, and brought up many bad memories. But you can't choose your opponent so, we had to fight who we had in front of us.

"Oh, look at that! I haven't fought an opponent with multiple sabers since General Greivous!" stated happily Obi-Wan igniting his own weapon. "Ready Padawan?"

"As ready as I've ever been!"

With that, we both launched forward towards the Inquisitor, holding our sabers high. Our blades clashed loudly with his as he lifted his own sabers to parry our first flew blows.

He was fast. And precise. I noticed it immediately. He probably had spent years and years practicing, and I was beginning to think he was probably a Jedi, one of those who survived the Purge and turned to the enemy and now served as an Inquisitor. Many survivors ended up like that, but his style was completely different from what they taught us at the Temple. He wasn't definitely a Jedi, I understood it as he started attacking back at us, forcing me and Obi-Wan to back to avoid his relentless attacks.

He was totally Sith to the marrow. While his defensive style was almost neutral, his attacks were filled with hatred and rage, the fuel of every Sith or Dark Side user of the Galaxy. He seemed to hack through a thick forest with his blows, rather than try to disarm his opponent or rather kill him directly. He lacked the elegance of Ventress, or Dooku's swiftness or Greivous' power, but he was a fierce fighter.

That was sure.

Fortunately for us, there was plenty of space to fight, because we were walking in circles as we all tried to make our adversary falter and gain some advantage.

And in the warm, early autumn night of Coruscant, I was sweating. It rarely occurred to me, but in that particular moment, I was incredibly tensed about the whole thing. Most of all I wasn't so sure about my abilities anymore. At least not as nine years before. I had my limits and somehow the knowledge of it blocked me. And I didn't like it.

About fifteen minutes after we had clashed our blades for the first time, both Obi-Wan and I jumped a few yards away from him. I needed to think for a moment and so did he.

"He's tough." I panted, trying to catch my breath. The fight was incredibly harsh and it was wearing me out quite quickly.

"Too tough for my tastes." he replied. "What do you think we should do?"

I shook my head. "I don't really know. I've never seen anyone fighting like this."

"He's a mix of Maul and Dooku. He's swift, but he's graceless. If he had only one saber we would have taken him down long ago!"

"I know! His parries are so tight I can barely see a hole in his defense!"

"Sometimes he falters, on the left side. He's right-handed. I'm sure of that. We should concentrate on that side!"

"Why don't we split the work? You attack only on his weak side while I try to keep him busy on his strong one?" I proposed.

"It's taking too long for my tastes and he's incredibly swift and fast at adapting. We must be quick and you're talking about a deteriorating strategy. It could take an hour or so, and I don't want to stay here for an hour." he said sternly. "What do you think? The crossing attack?"

"The one we used with Dooku on the Invisible Hand?" I asked. "It might work."

Basically, it was a fighting strategy that consisted in fast attacks and changes of positions. It was not a matter of physical strength, it all relied on the agility of the fighter. For those who wielded double weapons it was one of the best technique.

"Hey you two! I've always thought we might have been valuable opponents but from what I can see here, you're totally overestimated!" he shouted showing off his skills with his sabers.

"Oh, this one is really pissing me off..." I growled. "Time for some action."

Completely changing technique and style of fighting, Obi-Wan and I attacked again. The sudden change of our attitude startled him, but after a moment of insecurity he fought back, adapting as best as he could to our attack.

He was fast but not so much. Since the beginning of our second attack, he looked definitely unsure of what to do. Out fast and tight sequences of blows and swings forced him to fight defensively and he could not attack us.

That was the trick. He suddenly started backing away from us, but I was faster at keeping up with him. The advantages of having a leaner stance than him. He found it hard keeping up. Suddenly, the tables had turned and we were holding the higher ground.

It was his own time to jump away from us and pant. "That's better. Don't you think?"

"Yeah...a lot better..." I replied. "What do you think Master? Why don't we take him down now?"

"With pleasure Padawan!" and we launched back towards him. He was stumbling and trying to keep up with us. He kept walking backwards dangerously approaching the edge of the palace.

At that point he was out of options. He leaped on the ledge and looked back down and then at us. He didn't know what to do. His eyes mirrored his panic. In less than five minutes we had completely overthrown the result.

"You might have won this battle, but you can't win this war. Inquisitor Dalan won't allow you." and then he jumped over me.

Caught off guard, I parried his blow but fell on the ground. Fortunately Obi-Wan was fast enough to intervene and cut both his arms off. The acre smell of burnt flesh, something I knew all too well. Screaming like a wounded animal, he stumbled back and his face contracted in a wrath-filled smirk.

I stood up, turning off my lightsaber. "What do you want to do now?"

He chuckled. "I'm just a taste of what you paid for. If you think I'm tough, you're wrong. And you'll see it by yourself. Goodbye my dear Jedi. We'll meet again in hell!"

Then he leaped over the ledge and disappeared in the warm Coruscant night.

Panting heavily, I grabbed one of his weapons. "I don't like this."

"What?"

"What he did...he didn't have any chances but...he was ready to jump over that ledge from the beginning. They're training people who are willing to take their own life in case they fail their task!"

"They don't want them to get caught!" added Obi-Wan. "You're right. It's not a good sigh. They're ready for everything. And it's not exactly the kind of enemy I would prefer to face."

Slowly, and rather discouraged, we returned towards the speeder and then back to the Alderaanian Embassy. It was a silent run, we were all terribly tired. It was a silent ride, I admit I slept for a few minutes just before Obi-Wan parked the speeder in the hangar. None of us hadn't slept for thirty six hours straight and I was dead worn out.

When we stepped off the speeder, Organa was there waiting for us. He had arranged some accommodations for us, so we could get some rest, eat something and discuss what had happened.

But by the look on our faces, he knew better than ask questions.

At some point, between a cup of coffee and a refusal to tell what had happened, Padmè had the great idea to call Lysveet. Making the right calculations, on Dantooine it was about midnight, but she had said we could call any time, so we used Organa's office for a safe line.

Drowsily, she answered a couple of seconds later. "Hey, everything alright?" she asked. The image on the holopad betrayed her. She was tired. At least as tired as us.

"Now that we've got ridden of the Imperials, yes, thank you Lysveet." replied Padmè. "Listen, we need a lead to proceed. Have you examined Jax's computer?"

She nodded. "Yep, I did. And from what I saw, he's roaming in the Outer Rim. He spent the last three years cataloging planets and looking for other Jedi. And he found quite a few of them. He is in contact with at least five of them. Ferus Olin, Rahm Kota, Quinlan Vos and his Padawan, Kento Marek and Maris Brood. There's a longer list, I'm sending it to your datapads right now."

"No wait...Ferus and Kento are alive?" asked Obi-Wan, quite impressed. "Where are they?"

"Apparently, Master Olin is undercover as an Imperial Inquisitor. Master Marek's position is currently unknown."

Suddenly, I remembered the dream I had on Naboo. "That's the mole the were talking about!"

Everyone in the room looked at me as if I had said something incredibly stupid. "When I had that dream on Naboo, I heard three Inquisitors speaking about the chance that Jax had a mole in the organization that helped staying away from them!"

"Good. Some good news in the middle of this mess." said Obi-Wan. "Anything else?"

Lysveet took a sip form a cup at her side. "Yes. It seems like he has a base where he returns every few months. On Tatooine, somewhere a hundred miles north of Mos Eisley."

Padmè and I exchanged a look. Owen and Beru. I couldn't believe it. "Does it say who is helping him?" I asked.

She squinted her eyes. "Not exactly. He mention a Cliegg, but nothing else."

"Alright. When has he been there the last time?"

"I don't really know, but there's a list of the remote access to his computer and one is dated about three months ago from a shielded station in that quadrant. I think he's been there at least at that time!" she said.

"So, what do you think?" asked Padmè.

"It'll take a couple of days for me and Darrick to go through all the significant data, but I can say that if you travel to Tatooine and speak with this Cliegg, maybe we will have the time to give you something more." she said. "But, by the way, what the hell happened? You disappeared for nearly two hours and you look like you fought the whole army of Dathomir Witches!"

"We'll tell you later. It's a long story. Thank you Lysveet, go and get some sleep now!"

"Thank you. I really need it. Have a nice trip!"

With that she closed the call and we sighed. Tatooine. Owen and Beru. Fantastic. "When was the last time you've been on Tatooine?" I asked.

"Roughly three years ago." replied Padmè. "But no one ever told us about Jax. Never!"

"Well, it's time to ask some questions, I dare to say!" stated Obi-Wan.

Roughly an hour later, we were setting the ship for the route of Tatooine.

* * *

_Alright, back from Metal Camp, everything went just fine, except for a nasty sunburn that passed a couple of days after I came home. Fantastic Metal Camp, the best I've gone to! Great bill, great weather, great friends...amazing._

_Anyway, hope you liked it. It was a bit hard to write but in the end I think it isn't too bad. I have two weeks more before I leave (again) for camping with some friends for a week so I'll try to write the next chapter before I leave. And remember, send prompts for The Missing Moments! I'm open to any kind of suggestion as long as it is PG13. Have fun!_


	16. Journey Homeward Bound

**Chapter 16 – Journey Homeward Bound**

We left Coruscant about an hour after we had arrived at the embassy of Aldeeran, and we all slept during most of the trip. We let Artoo, who fortunately knew perfectly the route for the planet so we could get cleaned up and lay down. We were all exhausted.

Thirty six straight hours awake, a nerve-wrecking search in Jax's apartment that ended up with a chase through the capital's airways and a sword fight. Well, I was tired as hell, I barely managed to take a short shower, get dressed and drag myself to my bunk before I fell asleep.

I was looking forward at least nine hours of uninterrupted sleep and while Obi-Wan was in the tiny bathroom getting ready himself, I sat in the cockpit trying to stretch my aching neck. It hurt like hell and I was trying to rub the tension away but I was failing miserably. I felt the start of a terrible headache behind my eyes too. That day was taking its toll on me. I wasn't used to the stress of the action anymore and I had to retrain myself for it.

I was in terrible shape. I wasn't only physically tired, I was psychologically worn out.

"Hey, you ok?" asked Padmè wrapping her hands around my neck and resuming my not so good job with far better results.

"Yeah, I'm just tired." I leaned back and closed my eyes, relaxing for the first time in hours. "You?"

"I've been better, but not too bad. I'm just looking forward to get some sleep. Just like you."

"Mmh..." I was reduced to an almost monosyllabic conversation. She was just too good at massaging. She could always reduce me to a bunch of limp limbs and everything. "I'm sorry for not being such a great company."

She stopped for a moment. I looked up at her and saw her face just inches above mine, a rather irritated expression stamped on it. "Sorry for what?"

"The whole thing after we fought that Inquisitor...I'm sorry I've been far too silent after that."

She leaned down and kissed me. "Don't worry. You have all the rights to be silent. I'd be too if something like that happened to me. Just relax and as soon as Obi-Wan gets out, take a shower. It will make you feel better."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded, smiling. "Absolutely. You're so tired you won't even dream. Trust me, it will really make you feel better."

It did. Even though it was short because I didn't want to drain the whole reserve of water, it made me actually feel better. I threw my dirty clothes in my bag and laid in my bunk, sighing. Probably ten seconds later, I was out cold.

I woke up something like eight hours later, laying on my tummy with my left arm hanging from the edge of the bunk and a damp patch of drool on the pillow underneath my face. I had slept like a rock for eight hours straight and I felt a lot better.

Slowly, I turned over on my back and looked around me. The lights in the crew cabin were low and dim. Clearly Padmè and Obi-Wan were still sleeping. I looked at my right and saw her sleeping form curled up in her bunk just beside mine, on the other wall. Too bad the bunks were too tiny and we had to sleep separate. I guessed that on the bunk above me, Obi-Wan was still sleeping himself, so I drowsily sneaked out of mine, grabbed my boots and headed for the cockpit. We still had probably two hours of flight and I wanted to take a look at the data that Lysveet had sent the night before at our computers.

If my intuition was true, somehow Jax had come to know about the relationship between me and the Larss, well, he was damn lucky. And we were too, in some twisted way.

Rubbing roughly my face to wake up, I sat on one of the padded chairs and sighed. I grabbed one of my datapads and connected it to the main ship computer, downloading the huge amount of data that our personal hacker sent us.

After a while, I started sorting the material out.

There was a lot of rubbish, stuff regarding his rather successful private investigating agency, documents on his job, stuff like that. And we didn't need that kind of information.

Still rubbing my face and neck to wake up, I scrolled the list of files and folders until I found something that caught my eye.

A rather large folder labeled _Safety_. It was full of star maps of various star system, some of them marked as the map on the ceiling of his apartment. By clicking on the planet, there were detailed info about it, such as the level of safety for Jedi, the Imperial presence, eventual visits of the Inquisitors, and I had the feeling Ferus was providing that kind of info, and other stuff.

It seemed like he had visited all of them, checking personally what he had written on each of those marked planets. Some had been updated with current information if the situation changed through the years. For example, Naboo had been updated twice.

Apparently, the safest planets for Jedi were Hutt controlled ones, like Tatooine, Nar Shaddah, Toydara. Or other systems, most of all in the Outer Rim. The Hutts had nothing against the Jedi, at least not as the Empire. They didn't like our kind, but they wouldn't track us down and kill us on sight! Good to know, maybe we could deal with them, about aiding the Rebellion.

I went back to the root folder and searched through the list again. A folder was labeled _Survivalist_, and that was really interesting.

The list was longer than I expected. There were names of people I met long before, some friends and some Masters, and other Jedi I hadn't ever met in person but heard of.

Well, it was good to know that more of us had survived. A lost more. I couldn't wait to tell Darrick and Aleha.

I hoped they were all OK. I was one of those who managed to get out of that hellish situation rather well, everything considered, and I really hoped they had got out of it as good as I did.

In another folder, there was the complete correspondence between Jax and Ferus up to six months before. A long letter from Maris and a couple of mails from Kento and...wait a second! Kento had a kid! What the...Galen Marek. Well, look at that! The old, "always-follow-the-rules" Kento Marek had gone against the Code, married and multiplied!

Well, good for him.

I had been reading for a while now and I didn't notice when the door of the cockpit slid open and Obi-Wan entered and placed a steaming cup of coffee on the console in front of me. "Good morning! You're up early!"

I looked up from the datapad and smiled. "Yep. I woke up..." I glanced my watch. "about forty five minutes ago."

"You're becoming an early riser!"

"No, actually, I was sleeping with my mouth open and my pillow was all wet! It wasn't so pleasant!"

He chuckled. "What have you been reading?"

I took a sip from my coffee. "Stuff here and there. Jax cataloged every planet he visited through the years basing his parameters on how much it is safe for Jedi to live there and Imperial presence. The computer contained all the e-mails he and Ferus exchanged through the years and guess what?"

"What?"

"Kento Marek has a son!"

He almost chocked on his coffee. "What the hell? Kento?"

I nodded. "Yep. Galen. He's about the same age of the twins!"

"Well, good for him! Anything else?"

I shook my head. "Actually no, I've been reading things for a while now but it's pretty much all cataloging and safety issues. He's been doing a lot of research during the years, as if he's working on something. I doubt he's taking such a risk like this just for the sake of it."

He nodded, twisting his beard in his fingers. "I agree. He's planning something."

"The question is: what?"

He took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his tousled hair. "I don't know. I hope your step-father does though." he stopped for a moment, looking pensively at his cup. "I just hope he's still alive."

"Why?" I asked glancing at the navicomputer in front of me.

"Because three years ago, when we last saw them, he was dealing with a rather bad lung infection. The doctor from Mos Eisely said it was a matter of waiting and see what would happen. We left before we had the certainty he would be fine."

"Oh damn it... Do you think he made it through?"

"Sincerely? I doubt it. The disease worn him out pretty bad, he needed oxygen support to breath and could barely stay awake when we left. Owen thought it wasn't a good environment for the twins."

I nodded. "I really hope he made it. He's a good man Obi-Wan. He did everything he could when I went there looking for my mother. Treated me like his own son, even if I didn't quite behave good at the time."

"I know. I spent a lot of time with him, after Mustafar and before Padmè and I went back to Naboo. He's a wise man, he raised Owen mostly alone and believe me, he did quite a good job!"

I pulled back my hair from my face. "Yeah, I though the same, even if I wasn't all that talkative. Beru is a great girl too."

"You can bet on it! She and Padmè created a strong bond between them. She held her up quite good in the first few days, she was the one who insisted that Padmè would allow a trusted medic to check on her and the babies and that suggested to create a fake death and the whole funeral stuff comes from her. She's amazing! And don't expect a warm welcome from her. She thinks you're a jerk for what you did!"

I burst into laughter. "Yeah, I can deal with that. I am a jerk, a total, complete moron, for everything I did from age nine to age twenty two. I realized that myself. By the way, how did you react when the doctor told you she was having twins?"

It was his turn to laugh. "Believe me, I was scared as hell. I mean, facing Vader was a run on blue milk compared to the last month of her pregnancy. I think I almost fainted when he told us she was having twins. I didn't know what to say, I swear! It was almost surreal!"

"And I thought she was having a baby girl..."

"You weren't wrong. From a certain point of view."

"Yeah but...I don't know...I just wish I was there for them, when they needed me." I told him.

"Don't worry. You'll make up for the time you lost. You're a good father, your kids love you. Not many men in the Galaxy can brag about having a family like yours."

"Too bad we aren't a family, officially!" interjected Padmè from the entrance of the cockpit.

"Good morning! Did we wake you?" I asked as she sat on the free chair just behind mine.

"No, it was just time to get out of that bunk. Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, like a rock. Those bunks are a lot better than those we had in Dxun. Anyway, we're about to get in the system. I'll ask Artoo if he wants to complete the landing procedures."

About half an hour later we were landing about two hundred yards away from the compound. It was early afternoon and the suns shone brightly, making the air outside unbearable. I had almost forgot how Tatooine was during late summer.

And of course, we had landed there right in that season.

As we were getting down the loading ramp, someone came out of the house, sheltering his eyes with his hand. A moment later, a second, smaller figure joined the other. Owen and Beru. I was sure of that.

When we arrived about twenty yards away from the house, Padmè sped her pace and, smiling, she launched forward to hug Beru tightly.

"I was so worried! Why didn't you come earlier?" she asked releasing Padmè from her hug.

"We had a lot of things to take care of!"

"When we heard of the attack of Daltarra last year we were so worried!" added Owen.

"Oh well, we had a lot to do with that too!" continued Obi-Wan.

I stood slightly back away from them, just watching the scene. I felt like a stranger entity in a very close group. I just stood there and watched.

"Where are the twins?" asked Owen.

"Back on Dantooine. They're going on with their training."

"But if Obi-Wan is here, who trains them?" asked Beru.

"Do you remember Aleha?" the nodded. "She's in charge of the training of the kids and she's training them."

"And what are you doing here?" she asked again. "And who's there?"

They all looked back at me and Padmè gestured to get closer. At that point they recognized me.

"Anakin?" snapped Owen. "Is that you?"

I nodded. "Yep...it's me!"

At that point, Beru stepped forward and slapped me. Hard. Really hard. Harder than Padmè about twelve hours before.

"You're an idiot!" she snapped. "A licensed idiot! How could you do her something like that? And why the hell did you...oh damn it!" suddenly she hugged me tightly. "You're a jerk, you know that?"

"I know Beru! I know! I am a jerk, and I willingly admitting it! How are you?"

"Not bad, but when did you return?"

"It's a long story, and I think it deserves the milder temperature of your house." said Obi-Wan.

He was right. It was getting a little too warm for my tastes. I felt my shirt sticking to my back and it wasn't pleasurable.

Owen and Beru guided us inside and made us sit in the same room they had welcomed us twelve years before. Beru started working feverishly to offer us some refreshments, even if both I and Padmè kept telling her we weren't hungry and that we just had breakfast. She refused to stay calm, much to Obi-Wan's amusement. He stood silent for the whole time, watching the scene until, at my countless plea for her to sit down and don't bother too much with us, Beru deliberately walked behind me and slapped me behind my neck. "Ouch! What was that for?" I asked.

"Shut up and let me do what I do best. Jerk!"

That put an end to my attempts to make her sit in the empty chair in front of me. I did as ordered and looked down, defeated. I had learned some things during my life. One of them is never argue with a woman. They always find a way to silence you, one way or another.

"So..." started Owen. "What brings you here?"

"First of all, how are you?" asked my Master.

"Well, it's tough. Since my father died two years ago, we had a lot of problems."

"I'm sorry to hear that Owen." said Padmè. What they had feared had become reality. In the end Cliegg had succumbed to age and the harsh life of Tatooine doesn't help you living long.

"Thank you Padmè. It was tough, but in the end we managed to return operative. We also have enough to hire a couple of helpers during the harvest season. It's pretty much the same as the last time you were here. And then we go back to my question. What brings you here?"

"A Jedi called Jax Pavan."

It felt like everything stilled in the room. Even Beru, from the kitchen, stopped what she was doing. Owen cleared his voice. "What about him?"

"We're looking for him, and based on the clues in our hands, that he's using Tatooine as a base for his movements. And that when he's on the planet, he resides here." I said.

Beru entered with a tray in her hands. She placed it on the corner of the table and started handing glasses. "Why are you looking for him?"

I took the glass she was offering. "Because he's a very good friend, and we also have something for him."

"If it isn't total safety and protection from the Empire, I doubt that he will want to come with you." added Owen.

"And with the mess on Daltarra last year, I don't think he'll ever join the Rebellion. You guys are raising too much dust for his tastes." continued Beru, finally sitting down in the empty chair.

"We have something better than that." said Obi-Wan.

"And that would be?" asked Owen taking a sip from his glass of blue milk.

"Aleha, the woman he loves. And Hilean, his daughter." replied Padmè.

Owen almost chocked on his drink. Beru paled slightly, her face almost resembling the shade of the plaster on the wall. "What?" the asked altogether.

I chuckled for a moment. "Six and half years ago, Jax met one of our dearest friend. Aleha Kohr. They had fallen in love when we were teenagers, but with all the rules of the Jedi Code, no one ever confessed to the other. At least that's what Aleha told me some months ago. Well, they met on Felucia and...well, you know how it works, they didn't spent the night playing Pazaak. Too bad Jax was being hunted down by Imperials and practically disappeared a couple of days later. But Aleha was pregnant and...well, nine months later she gave birth to a baby girl. Hilean. She's six years old now." I told them.

They listened incredulous at my words.

"What the hell..." snapped Owen. "Does he know about her?"

Padmè shook her head. "Nope. That's why we're looking for him. And because Anakin started having visions about him about three months ago and he feared they would have gotten worse and drive him to do something stupid. So we're here."

"Yeah, it makes sense..." replied Beru. "He wouldn't abandon his daughter if he knew about her!"

"You're right..." answered Owen. "You're right. Stupid question. My bad."

"And precisely, how did you get here?" continued Beru.

"We have a friend, in the Rebellion. She's really good with computers and hacked in Jax's computer on Coruscant. She found some annotations on a moisture farmer here on Tatooine, a guy named Cliegg living somewhere north of Mos Eisley. We simply did the math!" explayind Obi-Wan, as calm as a stone.

Owen nodded. "I hope it wasn't easy to find that note, otherwise we're completely screwed!"

"It wasn't, I assure you." continued my Master. "We had our load of troubles. And our friend is making sure the Empire cannot access his computer. You're safe, for the moment. And, in any case, she's monitoring the Empire's moves. We'll help you, if the Empire shows up and threatens you."

Owen nodded again. "I hope it will never happen." he remained silent for a moment, pondering the huge load of news we were bringing with our unexpected visit. "What are you going to do now?"

"We were going to ask your help." said Padmè. "Did he say where he was heading, last time he was here?"

Beru shook her head. "He never says his exact itinerary when he leaves. Usually, he drops by every now and then, he's been doing it for a couple of years now, maybe some months more. But the gaps between a visist and the other are never regular. He tells us the zone of the galaxy he's going to explore, but he's never very precise about it."

"Last time he was here about four months ago, he needed some time to rest because he had a very hard time fighting against Darth Vader. He barely managed to escape." said Owen.

I nodded. "That's the first time I had a vision about him. I saw him battling with Vader."

"He was very tired. He slept probably two days straight then asked to be left alone so he could meditate a while, so he would recharge not only his physical energy but his mental one too. He remained closed in the garage for three days. We left him water and food enough so he wouldn't starve and waited for him. When he came out of that door, he was a different man. When I had arrived in Mos Eisley to pick him up, he was a wreck. Exhausted...he was sickly pale. Five days had passed since he had fought Vader and he told me he had felt nauseated for five days straight. He was wreck. He didn't even eat, when we arrived here. He drank something like two pints of water, took a short shower, dried up, and fell asleep."

Beru nodded. "He stayed with us for another week then left again. He said we was going to explore and document his stuff around Averill, you know...that zone of the Galaxy. I don't know if he's still there."

Averill. Averill...I had heard of that planet before, but I didn't know anything about it. But it was a good point to start with. I needed some research, but it was a good point.

"Averil..." murmured Obi-Wan. "I don't know much of that planet."

"We have a computer with an updated map of the Galaxy with extended information about every planet. Jax installed it when he started visiting us."

He nodded. Do you mind if we stay here until tomorrow and do some researches?" he asked.

"Absolutely, stay as long as you want!" answered Owen. "We'll prepare the rooms!"

Obi-Wan shook his head. "There's no need, we can sleep on the ship!"

This time, Beru slapped him as she had done not too long before with me. "Shut up Master Kenobi. You sleep here. Live the ship for droids."

"Speaking of droids, do you have Artoo with you?" asked Owen.

"Yes, he's on the ship, doing some diagnostics." I told him.

"Do you think he would mind if I ask him to take a look at one of the vaporators? It's been giving me some nasty problems and I can't find the flaw!"

"Sure, I'll ask him right away."

I spent the rest of the afternoon with Artoo and Owen working of malfunctioning vaporators and other machinery while Padmè and Obi-Wan did the researches we needed. Of course, they had the easier job of all. While Beru cooked, and I had the feeling she had something in common with my mother-in-law because she cooked for a whole platoon, they stayed in the back room with air conditioning and everything. And Owen and I stood right under the suns of Tatooine at the peak of the heath until the first sun had disappeared behind the horizon.

When we returned, dinner was almost ready and Padmè and Obi-Wan were still doing researches. Both Owen and I were filthy and reeking like a dead bantha, something that Artoo didn't forget to tell us when we entered in the kitchen. Soon followed by Beru who promptly ordered us to take a shower.

Owen went first, so, standing outside the room, I asked Obi-Wan and Padmè how did the research go.

"Not too bad. Averill is a mining planet, mostly. It's in the Mid Rim, in the Teraab sector." Obi-Wa explained.

"Wait, wasn't it the sector with Hoth's Brand, the site of the Ruusan Campain during the New Sith Wars, about a thousand years ago?" I asked.

"Exactly."

"Wait a sec...that's why I heard of that planet. Ahsoka and I stopped there on our why to the Skytop Station Mission!"

"Yeah, now that you mention it, I think I remember..."

"Yep, it's the place where Artoo cracked the hell out of R3-D6's circuits! You remember that droid that Greivous sent to try and kill me?"

Obi-Wan nodded. "Yes, I do. Ahsoka told us the whole story some years ago."

"So, what do you think we should do?" I asked.

It was Padmè who answered. "I think you should go and take a shower. You positively reek like a dead bantha."

"Hey, that's the same thing Artoo said!" I snapped. "And I'm just waiting for Owen to be over. It shouldn't take long!"

Later we all discussed the options we had. I wanted to go on Averill and start looking from there, but Obi-Wan preferred waiting a couple of days more and get more information about the planet, the system and most of all the whole sector. Teraab was a rather complex sector, its history deeply rooted on the Jedi story. Ruusan was there, the planet where thousand years before the Valley Of The Jedi had been built, and it was the theater of many wars and battles.

I was wondering why the Teraab sector at some point.

"Maybe he was just curious to know if that place is safe!" said Owen.

I shook my head. "I doubt it. Jax has always been inclined to take the safer route for things, going to that precise place...I don't know. It just sounds strange. Many things happened in that sector during the history of the Order."

"What if he's gone there because Vader said something about it?" proposed Padmè.

It made sense. Jax had been traumatized after that meeting, probably Vader had said something that made him leave for that particular part of the Galaxy.

"But what?" asked Obi-Wan.

"Oh, don't ask me! I just had an idea! You're the Jedi, I'm just a normal human being!" she joked.

The rest of the dinner we spent it trying to find a sensitive theory for Jax's actions, but everything one came up with was promptly debunked by another, who found flaws and bits of illogicality here and there.

It was tough, and we still hadn't decided what to do next.

As I prepared for bed, I found myself wondering if Jax had found another source for pyronium. That could have been a reason to move to Averill, after all it was a mining planet.

As I walked down the narrow corridor that led to the guest room Beru had prepared for Padmè and I, I tried to shove those thoughts away in order to sleep well. That afternoon had been more tiring than what I had imagined and even if I had slept rather well on the ship, I had the feeling that one more night of sleep would completely recharge my energies. I was getting too old to loose sleep!

When I closed the door behind me, I noticed something was wrong. Padmè was rubbing her temples and she was a bit paler than just fifteen minutes before, when I had last seen her.

"Hey, you ok?" I asked sitting on the bed beside her.

"Yeah...just a bad headache. It started a moment ago!" she replied laying down.

"Do you want me to ask Beru if..."

She hushed me with her hand. "Don't worry. I just need to get some sleep. I will be fine tomorrow, don't worry."

"You sure?" I sneaked my arm underneath her shoulders and pulled her towards me.

She nodded and closed her eyes. "I'm sure. I just need some sleep."

"And sleep you will. Goodnight Padmè." using the Force, I turned off the light. But before I let myself falling alseep, I asked her one more short question. "Do you mind if tomorrow we call the kids? I miss them?"

"Sure. I miss them too." she took a deep breath and sighed contently, before draping her free arm across my chest and relaxing. She was exhausted, I could tell it. And it was more than a simple headache.

* * *

_Ok, last chapter before I leave for camping (again) this time with my friends. I leave this Monday and I really can't wait. Anyway...hope you liked this chapter. It's the sort of linking thing I hate writing but that I must put here and there or you wouldn't understand what the hell is going on! Have fun and have a nice summer! See ya after the 15__th__!_


	17. To The Edge Of The Earth

**Chapter 17 – To The Edge Of The Earth**

_He sat in the corner of the dim lit bar, a heavy looking backpack beside his stool and a half empty pint of beer of him on the counter. He ran his hand on his roughened cheek and sighed, before taking another long sip from his beverage. His contact was taking a bit too long to arrive and he didn't like to stay for such a long time in the same place. He had called him two days before and told him to wait for him in that bar two days later between seven and nine PM. He would surely show up._

_It was almost nine, he already had three pints of beer and two shots of whiskey and he was getting impatient. He glanced again to the door and slipped his hand underneath his jacket and grasped the hilt of his lightsaber. The bare feeling of the cold chromed metal made him feel a little better. He didn't like to draw attention using it, but still it was his insurance against anyone who wanted to harm him._

_He was about to grab his backpack and leave, when the door opened and a dark clad man entered, looked around and headed towards him. He sat a couple of stools away and asked the barman for a pint of ale. As he waited he crossed his arms on the counter and sighed. _

"_How are you?" asked the cloaked man._

"_I encountered Landman just last week. How do you think I am?" _

_He had met Vader? How? When? Why? There was no time for that kind of question. _

"_Hey, I'm sorry! I didn't know that, no need to be so harsh! You're still in one piece though!"_

_He nodded and emptied his glass. "Yeah, barely. It's the last time I help someone for free though. I don't want to have anything to do with the Whiplash again. Ever!"_

"_You won't, don't worry. It was a onetime favor. You'll never have to do it again."_

_He nodded. "Thank you Ferus. I really appreciate it!"_

"_Don't worry Jax. Anything for a friend. Anyway, were did you go?"_

_Jax shrugged his shoulders. "I have my ways. And I don't want to tell you."_

"_Hey, you can trust me!" replied Ferus, his mole inside the Inquisitorius._

"_I know, but I can't trust anything else around me. Even walls have ears sometimes. And I don't want really do reveal all my secret. I've been hiding for nine years straight now, keeping my tricks for me and I survived this long. I'm not going to dare the fates and spill them." stated Jax, his voice so low Ferus could barely hear him talking._

"_Alright, it's your life after all. Anyway, I'm here to tell you something important."_

_Jax sighed and ordered another pint of beer. "What exactly?" he asked. "I hope you're not asking me to find someone of the Rebellion because I won't join them ever! They're raising too much noise for my tastes!"_

"_But they can protect you! Listen, I know you don't like that kind of situation, I've known it for years. But what the hell you can't go on like this! Roaming around the Galaxy like a stray dog! You can't go on like this!"_

"_And what should I do then? Anakin was killed last year on Daltarra, I personally know only of four other Jedi that survived the Purge but I don't have the faintest idea how to contact them! What the fuck should I do then? I like it this way!"_

"_Who? Who survived except us?"_

"_Master Kenobi, Anakin, Aleha and Darrick. They are the only Jedi I could trust, and one of them is dead. You're the only one I managed to find and you're already undercover in the Inquisitorius. Listen Ferus, I can deal it myself. I'm grown enough to take care of myself, thank you."_

"_Alright. I accept that. But listen, Anakin isn't dead."_

_Jax suddenly lifted his head. "What?"_

"_He's alive. He just faked his death, but he's alive."_

"_How do you know."_

"_I have my methods. No listen, I just know how to use a computer. I noticed his death certificate has some inconsistencies with the events of Daltarra. That's all." he confessed._

"_Then you believe he's alive. You don't know it for sure!"_

_Ferus shrugged his shoulders. "OK, I believe he's alive. But I'm pretty sure of it!" he said. He drank again from his glass and sighed. "Anyway...what are you going to do now? Why are you here on Averill?"_

"_Because Vader said something about this." he picked something out of the pocket on the inside of his jacked and laid it on the counter. "This is a pyronium crystal Anakin gave me when we were teenagers. Apparently, Landman knew about it. And he wants it."_

"_Why?"_

"_I don't know. I suppose he wants it because of its ability to absorbe electromagnetic impulses. He probably want's to improve his suit or something like that."_

_Ferus nodded. "I fear he wants to use it for Force Lightening. He cannot cast it because he doesn't have his own fleshy hands."_

"_Probably. Anyway, he mentioned something about Ruusan a while before I managed to flee and I want to know what he's up to. Ruusan is a very important planet, when it comes to the Jedi history, and I fear he might want to use its Force power to do something evil. I'll take a look around in the next few months."_

"_Are you sure?"_

_Jax nodded. "Positive. And I won't stop until I discovered what that monster is up to."_

"_If you say so..." Ferus wasn't happy with the decision of his friend, but he couldn't do anything to make him change his mind. Jax could be so headstrong sometimes! "But be careful. There's a man, one of my colleagues...he's going to hunt you down. He's the best in this field. His name is Sahn Dalan and he's terribly good. Watch your back, OK?"_

_Jax nodded. "I will. Thank you Jax. For everything you're doing for me."_

"_Take good care, OK?"_

"_Yeah...now go, or someone will start asking questions."_

_Without a word, Ferus dropped on the counter enough credits to bay both their bills and left. Jax smiled for a while, taking a mental record to thank him for the courtesy, then his attention went back to his beer. He glanced at his watch and decided he could remain in the bar for a while before leaving. He still had half of his beer to drink after all. _

_He remained in the pub for a while longer, his half pint was staring at him, taunting him to finish it. _

_He was about to grab his glass and finish it when one of the other customers, a huge guy with a vicious expression stamped on his face walked towards him and punched him on his shoulder._

"_Hey, who was that guy?" he growled. _

_Jax sighed and ignored him. Another drunk smuggler or some other kind of outlaw looking for a fight. Probably, if he ignored him, he would simply walk away._

_No such luck._

_He punched him again. "Hey, I asked you a question! Who was that guy?"_

"_None of your business." replied Jax, taking a sip from his pint._

"_It is. He looks like someone important. Or at least someone with the cash. And I doubt he would come here to meet someone of my kind. So, hand me the money and no one will get hurt." with that, he pointed a small caliber blaster at his side. _

_The Jedi rolled his eyes and placed his glass on the counter. "You don't really wanna do that..."_

"_Oh, I do, don't worry about that. I'm a pro."_

"_Really?" he asked. "Then tell me, why would you approach someone with friends like that to rob them? Don't you think they might have a weapon?" _

"_You don't have a weapon, I would have seen it!" replied the robber with a wide smile on his face. _

_A smile that would soon disappear._

_Barely moving, Jax grabbed his lightsaber and turned it on, with the baled barely an inch from the robber's throat. "Are you sure?"_

_The robber could barely breathe at that moment. "You're...you're a Jedi!"_

_Jax shook his head, chuckling._

"_No, I'm just a guy with a lightsaber. Now, get the fuck out and let me finish my beer. Then I'm out of here."_

Oh well, Jax could still defend himself. And his sense of humor was still as dark as the desert night.

At least it wasn't a bad dream. Well, it wasn't good either, but I had worse. I looked at my watch on the nightstand. Twelve past one A.M. I could still sleep for a while.

Still...there was something wrong. The whole day before had been wrong someways.

But, everything considered, I could have dreamed of worse things. Stuff like Jax being chased but Dalan or some other Inquisitor. Or worse, Vader.

Still...

Anyway we were all a bit upset from the fight and Obi-Wan thought it would have been better if we remained on Tatooine a couple of days more. He literally put me in the backyard with a wrench in my right hand and a broken vaporator in front of me. He was upset himself, much more than I had ever seen him about anything, and confessed that a day or two to recover would have done good even to him. None of us had never seen anyone committing suicide with such an easiness and it's really shocking.

The first night we spent there, when I had that dream, we both found each other in the kitchen in the middle of the night wide awake and trying to think about the consequences of the events of the night before.

After that vision, I managed to fall asleep again, then I woke up at three in the morning, with the flash of the Inquisitor leaping that edge and disappearing into that endless pit that was Coruscant. I still don't know if I was more shocked by the fact that a man committed suicide in front of me or by the whole thing behind that act.

We had just embarked a quest where our enemies were willing to die instead of surrender.

It wasn't a great perspective to face.

Groggily, I slipped out Padmè's tight embrace and sat on the edge of bed for a moment, staring in the darkness of our guest room. There was something poking from the back of my mind, something absolutely blurred and undefinable that I could perceive in the Force. It was like a faint tickling, it felt like an impalpable sensation on my skin, and it made me quiver in fear.

I knew that facing the Inquisitors would have been hard. I knew it and I was ready to face them, but this...well, this was a totally different matter.

I grabbed my t-shirt and dragged myself out of the room and down to the kitchen. In the end of the hallway, I saw a small light. When I turned and entered in the room, I found Obi-Wan sitting at the kitchen table, a half empty glass of Corellian Double Malt Whiskey, considering the newly opened bottle beside it.

"Hey, couldn't sleep?" I asked sitting in front of him.

He shook his head and turned his glass in his hand, making the liquid twirl in it. "Definitely not. I tried but after three hours turning and twisting on my bed, I decided to get up and continue my researches on Averill and the Teraab system. After a while, I needed a drink and I remembered where Cliegg held his reserve of liquor. And now I'm here." he said. "You?"

I grabbed a glass and poured a glass myself. "I woke up a minute ago and I have the feeling I cannot get more sleep for tonight, so I decided to wake up."

"Busy night?"

Chuckling, it was my turn to shake my head. "No, at all! Padmè had a terrible headache, tonight it was only for sleep."

"Is she alright?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "She's sleeping. I guess she's fine. Don't worry about that. She was tired and she's not used to the climate. It's harsh here, and a sudden migraine it's not so uncommon. It happens. She'll be fine in the morning."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." I replied. "Everything will be OK. It's just a matter of time. Anyway, what do were you thinking?"

He downed the rest of the liquor in his glass and sighed. "Right now I'm worried. I'm deeply concerned about what we're going to face in the next few weeks. That Inquisitor..."

"I know. I was thinking the same. I mean, I saw many people die in front of me, I can't even recall how many I killed myself but...damn it, watching someone committing suicide..."

"Yeah, it's terrible." he agreed. "I've always been told that taking a life is the worst thing a man can do, and I've always believed it. I mean, I experienced on my one skin but yesterday..."

"It was totally different. Yeah, I know how you feel. It's like a punch straight here..." and I pointed at my chin. "Only amplified. It doesn't feel good."

"At all. Damn it I'm exhausted." he confessed. "I slept for almost nine hours during the trip but still..."

I chuckled softly. "Tatooine never did good to you."

"I hate this place. I mean, not this place in particular, but the planet. It brings up so many bad memories!"

He was right. His memories of Tatooine weren't so good. Well, not even mine, but at least I had something good to add to the bad memories. "You want to stay here for a while?"

He nodded. "Yes. At least a couple of days. Maybe more. I'd prefer to have detailed information about the current situation of Averill and the whole sector. I don't want to go down there blindly. We can't afford anything like Coruscant, or worse."

I nodded. "Yeah, I was thinking the same. Oh by the way, Jax was heading to Ruusan."

"How do you know?" he asked.

"Some hours ago, I saw him, in one of my visions, you know...he was on Averill, and Ferus had joined him to tell him about Dalan and trying to convince him to join the Rebellion. Also, he was convinced that I was dead, but Ferus told him I'm alive. Apparently, I left too many clues in the inconsistencies in my death certificate!"

He nodded. "Good to know. So he was heading to Ruusan...well, it might get interesting!"

"I know." I poured another shot of whiskey for both of us and sighed. "We'll see. Apparently, Vader has something to do with it. I don't like it."

He shook his head. "Me neither. When he's involved...every time someone mentions him I have a very bad feeling down my spine. Like someone poured some ice cubes down my back."

"I know the feeling. Remember what I said last year before we attacked Daltarra?"

"Of course I do! I could sense your terror from my ship! The Force was shaking!"

"You know, when you get to know him as much as I do...you learn to fear him."

We both remained silent for a moment. He knew I didn't like to talk about the time I spent in prison, so he didn't ask more. Still no one knew the details. Only Padmè was aware of a tiny tiny fraction of what I had to stand while on Blenjeel, but they didn't ask. I wasn't ready to talk about it and they were Ok with that.

"Anakin, don't get upset about it. We're not sure we're going to meet him."

"I know. I just don't want to be caught off guard. That's all."

"We won't, don't worry. Now, how about we stay here a while longer, get rid of the uneasy feeling of that guy jumping off that ledge and relax for a while? We've been out of business for so long I had forgot how it feels to be on the battliefield again."

I smiled and downed another shot of whiskey. "I think Owen will be happy to have me and Artoo around for a while."

"You can bet on it. You don't know how many times he wished you were with us because he had a broken vaporator or some other problem. Try to fix as many things as you can while we're here, because I don't know when we will return here!"

"I'll try don't worry. Anyway, once we decide we're ready to go, where do we go?"

He remained silent for a moment, contemplating the empty glass in front of him while twitching his beard under his chin. "I think I'd head for Averill right away and look for him there. Too bad we're three months late!"

"We can still keep up with him. If I keep dreaming about him, maybe I can recognize a specific place. I've been to Ruusan a couple of times and so did you. I've been on Hoth's Brand and many other planets of that system, so did Padmè on diplomatic missions. We can find him, and I don't give a flying fuck I have to go to the edge of the Galaxy to find him. We still have thirty five days to find him. And I want to find him. For Aleha. And for Hilean."

"You're right. We'll find him." he poured another glass for himself and refilled mine, then raised his. "To reunited families!" he toasted.

"To reunited families. And let's hope we won't have to stitch up more of them!"

In the end we stayed on Tatooine for four days.

Artoo and I spent most of that time with Owen, fixing things, as Obi-Wan had told me.

The rest, we spent it planning things for our trip to Averill.

But there wasn't much to plan. It was a matter of getting there, possibly in the biggest city of the planet, and start asking questions.

And yes, we were ready to go to the edge of the Galaxy to find him.

So did we.

Four days after our arrival, we had a sort of a plan in hour hands, ready to leave. But there was something holding me back, someways.

I was thinking about that nagging feeling I had that night after I had dreamed of Jax in that bar...it was unpleasant.

Somehow, I was sure that trip would cause us, or more specifically me, a lot of troubles. Strange enough, my left shoulder hurt too. It was the shoulder that got dislocated twice while in prison. I accounted the harsh change of weather, the stress and the huge workload I had done in such a short time, but it felt more like the Force was telling me to stop there and think for a while longer, to get a better plan and everything.

I didn't really like what I was experiencing, but, after all, I wasn't one used to stick to plans, but I was trying to do it for the sake of our quest. And for our safety. I didn't want anyone to get hurt.

Still, I didn't say anything.

I didn't want to alarm anyone. It was my own private bad feeling reel, the same old song from the old days, I didn't really want to spread the dread I was feeling in those days.

For the best of us.

And when we landed in the spaceport of Averill's biggest city, well, that feeling didn't go away. At all.

When we stepped out of the spaceport we took a look around. All ports look alike. Messy, smelly and noisy. This was not different.

"And now, what do we do?" asked Padmè.

I grabbed her hand and held it tightly in mine. "We follow the Force."

* * *

_Short one. I'm sorry but in my mind it should have been longer but I thought this part deserved its own space and time. And I admit I still need some time to plan this next part of the story because it's filled with both action and a tad of tragedy, just enough to bring up another side of Anakin that I haven't yet developed or explored. And I want it to be coherent both with my stories and the Star Wars Universe. It might take a while, because it's time for some nasty exams (russian literature is a 5k pages long exam, not to mention Slavic philology and english literature too) at the university. so... stuff like that. Hope you can wait for a while longer! I hoped I could write something down when I was on vacation, but every day was filled with so many things I didn't have much time. Well, actually we spent most of our time at the local lake fooling around and stuff like that. We were having so much fun I just couldn't stop there and then to write, don't you think?_

_Anyway...see ya!_


	18. One More Voyage To Go

**Chapter 18 – One More Voyage To Go**

The first day on Averill went smooth enough to let us get a short tour of the first city we visited. I was almost sure that what I had seen in my dream had taken place in the capital city of the planet, but the main spaceport was not the one of the capital.

We arrived in the late hours of the afternoon after nine years of flight, hours we all spent studying some more of the huge load of data that Lysveet had sent us days before.

It looked like Jax had spent the last nine years tracking down everyone of us. He had also discovered where Master Kota was hiding and how he had managed to survive Order 66: he despised the clones, since he thought they were not suitable for war because of the genetic engineering used on them that had made them tamer and calmer. He thought they weren't savage enough for war. Once I had heard him talk to Master Windu, one day at the Temple, as he wished the Cloners would have maintained Fett's brutality and cold blood.

Somehow he was able to convince the other Masters, so he was granted the possibility to handpick his own soldiers, those who would accompany him in battle from professional armies all around the Republic. That saved him from almost certain death.

Too bad he was reduced to an alcoholic refugee that earned his living as a mercenary. Last time Jax had seen him, Master Kota was working on Corellia as a personal bodyguard and he was really down. At least that's what Obi-Wan found out from his part of data.

Really, during that trip, I swore to myself I would mock Jax for the rest of my life about his bad habit to write down everything he saw and learned. He was terrible about his annotations. There was a huge amount of crap into his writings, personal thoughts and similar.

Well, they were not too different from what I had thought and said during my seven years of prison and one year of hiding before Daltarra. But at least I didn't write them!

He had all his rights to think all that amount of stuff. Too bad he wrote it!

When we arrived in Amdun, the biggest spaceport of the planet, about two hundred miles south of Averill City, we took a look around and saw it was nothing different from any other city in the galaxy. The area around the spaceport was crowded in at that late hour. All the commercial operations were done for the day and usually the mess dissipates at that point, but Amdun was a very important city as it worked as the only important way in or out the planet and everything revolved around the port.

After a short trip around the area, we found a small place to eat and then, in front of our dinner, decided what to do as soon as next morning we would wake up.

And we started as soon as we were awake enough to get out of the ship.

While Padmè stayed on the ship and went on reading Jax's stuff, Obi-Wan and I went around the town for hours, scouring the area around the spaceport for clues of what kind of path had taken Jax from his arrival to his leave.

We had been walking around the place for hours, meeting only indifference or suspicion. We were strangers after all, looking for another guy that had probably been there three months before.

I think they though we were bounty hunters.

And in some parts of the Galaxy, well most of them, bounty hunters are not very popular.

Of course everything was different on Hutt controlled planets, but that's another story.

I called Padmè around noon and asked her how she was doing.

"Oh well, except for that migraine again, Artoo and I are doing fine!"

Alright, I was getting worried. "Are you sure you're OK? You've been acting strange for a while! Do you want to go back to Dantooine and stay there? We can go back when we want!"

"I'm fine Anakin, don't worry. I'm just not used to this kind of life anymore, that's it. Don't worry about me." she said with that tone she used to scold the kids when they did something wrong. Or if she scolded me. And it happened quite often.

"Padmè, this is the second migraine in just a few days, I have all the rights to be worried. Have you taken a painkiller or something?" I was slightly preoccupied with her health. I knew space traveling could be exhausting, and I myself tend to suffer for a minor headache from time to time, after long hours spent on board of transport ships, but not that often and most of all, it wasn't a migraine, which can be a terrible handicap if not treated well.

"You know I don't like to take drugs, most of all painkillers. They tend to make me sleepy and I wouldn't be able to help you."

"I don't give a freaking damn if you have to sleep for a couple of hours so you can get rid of this headache. Now, please, I know I am the one that usually needs medical assistance, but I beg you, stop working and take something." I told her.

I heard her sigh from the other side of the comlink, and the low chirp of Artoo in the background as he agreed with me. He said something about malfunctioning droids and how they need an oil bath to be functional again, just like living beings need drugs. That little barrel could be more human and a pure born Coruscant native.

"Alright. As soon as we end this call I'll take something. Anyway, have you found anything?"

"Not something very considerable but some bartenders and a couple of dock workers think they have seen him three months ago. What about you?"

"Well, Artoo was scanning the financial stuff when he found a recent receipt for Jax Scaler. It's one of the pseudonym Obi-Wan found in Jax's documents the other day, so Artoo thought I might wanted to take a look at that. It's a receipt for a reparation on his ship. The workshop is not too far from the docks, I'm sending you the address."

Well, that could be a great place to start with!

"Great. Thank you Padmè, we'll be out for a while now, turn on the ship's defenses and let Artoo take care of anything. And I mean it!"

I could picture her slightly annoyed face as she rolled her eyes and shock her head at my insistence. "Alright Daddy, now go and catch the bad guys!"

So we did. Or, at least, we tried.

When we received the address, we looked on the datapad we had with us where it was precisely then quickly walked there. It took us about half an hour to reach the place.

And, as usual, it looked just like any other workshop in the galaxy. Dirty, noisy and very, very busy.

When we stepped in, we were welcomed by a carburetor thrown straight at the wall beside us and a sequence of what I thought were insults and appellations not for the most trustful client or worker. These shouts came from a huge Zabrak, who later introduced himself as the owner of the workshop and first mechanic of the team, and were addressed to a much taller and larger (which may sound strange, considering that the Zabrak himself was much taller than me) Ithorian. Usually Ithorians are a meek and peaceful race, not very incline to discuss or, just like in this case, shouting at each other, but this one must have been incredibly angry to shout that way.

We were witnesses of one of the greatest verbal fight in history of payment agreements. They were speaking an unknown language for both me and my Master, but we could get the sense of the whole thing from their gestures and tones. The Zabrak had met more difficulties than expected while repairing the Ithorian's ship, and demanded more money than what they had agreed previously.

Well, it makes sense after all.

Apparently, not for the Ithorian.

That was the beginning of the fight. When we had arrived, they had been fighting for thirty minutes at least, since what the other, terrified co-workers told us.

Then, about thirty seconds before we arrived, they had started throwing things at each other.

That carburetor crashed against the wall with a deafening noise, leaving both of us slightly shocked by the unorthodox welcome. I had never seen this level of ferocity in this kind of arguments. Shocking, indeed!

"Do you think we should do something?" I asked, a bit uncertain of what to do.

Obi-Wan shock his head. "Don't think so. I don't want to get caught in this mess!"

About five minutes later, finally they found a truce. The Ithorian paid the new price, brought his ship out and flew away, leaving the Zabrak and the rest of his co-workers there, to deal with us.

Finally, when the Ithorian had left, he noticed us. "Hey, ya two. Watcha doin' here?" he asked in a thickly accented basic.

"We need information." replied Obi-Wan. He was better at this kind of thing.

"What kind?" he sat at a filthy and overcrowded desk, probably his office. "If ya wanna know 'bout getting' a job at minin', ya gotta go at the guild. Not here!" his basic was terrible, to say the least.

"We're looking for a friend. And we know he asked you to repair his ship, three months ago."

He squinted his eyes, leaning back on the chair. "Does your friend have a name?"

"Jax Scaler." I added promptly.

He looked at us, from head to boots, as if he was trying to understand if we were dumb enough to pay him for this information.

"Ya know...Maybe I repaired his ship...maybe I didn't...how much is this worth for ya?"

"How much do you ask?"

"Five grands."

The average price for six carburetors like the one he had smashed just a while before.

"I believe we can find a better arrangement for everyone here." replied Obi-Wan, as calm as a stone, sitting on a box in front of the desk.

That was when the magic of diplomacy started.

I don't want to bore you, but believe me, after fifteen minutes of tight negotiation, Obi-Wan had convinced Pali Tautel, that was his name, to tell us what he knew for the cheap cost of one hundred credits and some help fixing a leaking hyperdrive engine in the back of the shop that no one in there could fix. It took me less than five minutes to find the leak, close it, seal it and finish my job. It took me more time to get the grease off my hands!

"So, my dear Pali, what do you know about our friend?"

"If ya may wait a minute...Junior!" he shouted. Almost immediately, a young, probably a teenager Zabrak appeared.

"Yes Father?"

"Go home and tell your mother I need to stay a while longer and not to wait on me for dinner!" he told him.

Then he turned to us again. "Your friend had a broken impulse engine. We stitched it up. Nothin' bad. When I asked where he was goin', he simply said the Capital. He asked a couple of info for routes to Ruusan and Danalbeth, but nothin' else. I gave him the address of a friend of mine, in case he needed help. His name is Garris Shrike. He's not into legal things, and he doesn't like bounty hunters, therefor, be careful."

"What makes you think we're bounty hunters?" I asked him.

He shrugged his shoulders. "Dunno. Just look like them, all friendly and everythin'..."

I looked down at Obi-Wan, who was wearing his best sabaac face. "Don't worry Pali. He won't deal with bounty hunters."

A couple of hours later we declared our first (and possibly last) scouring of Amdun and returned to the ship. There, Padmè was waiting for us with the dinner almost ready. She seemed fine, even through the Force, she wasn't in pain. When I asked Artoo if she had obeyed, he confirmed that she had indeed taken a painkiller and slept for a couple of hours while he processed his pre-programmed routine on the ship, then they had worked a while on Jax's documentation together before he asked if he could check the shield generator, since he had suddenly reminded that it needed to be checked from time to time.

Well, at least, for once in her life, she had done what I had told her to!

Something more unique than rare!

Later that evening, Obi-Wan was in the cockpit, meditating, while Padmè was still going through document after document and I cleaned up dishes and stuff. When I finished, I sat beside her and pulled my chair closer to her. "Still financial stuff?"

She shook her head. "No. Something even more boring! The list of repairs and upgrades Jax installed on his ship. There's an infinite list in this folder, but I want to check it just in case there's something important."

"Artoo can do it tonight and let us know if there's something relevant tomorrow!"

"I prefer doing it manually. I mean, Artoo is fantastic and everything but he can't go through riddles or stuff like that. And after that day we spent trying to resolve that riddle, I think we need more human eyes and less droid search protocols."

Well, I couldn't disagree, but I knew that she was tired. I could see it written on her face and posture. She was leaning on her elbows to read, something she did only when she was tired or uncomfortable.

"Too bad human eyes tend to get tired and fuzzy. Come on, you need to relax for a moment." I said gently pulling her away from the datapad on the table, so she would look at me.

"What do you propose?"

I smiled slily. "You know, the only place we can be all by ourselves here it's the bathroom..."

She immediately caught the hint. "You're wicked Anakin..." she said standing up and dragging me up with her.

"I must, or I'd have a hard time keeping up with you!"

Well, let's say that the shower was quite crowded that night. And wasn't used only for its primary use! Thank the Force Obi-Wan had already showered himself...

Anyway, we were having our quiet time together, fooling around while there was still warm water when Obi-Wan knocked on the door.

"Hey, you two newlyweds, there's a nine years old girl that wants to talk to her parents! Get the hell out of there!"

It had been days since we had last talked to the twins. It was time to get out of that steamy hell. No, really, it was all foggy, we barely managed to dry up and get dressed! We could barely see each other, and that room was small. And when I say small, I say cramped!

A couple of minutes later we emerged from the bathroom, not completely dry yet, under Obi-Wan's amused eyes.

"You could have told me you wanted some time together! I would have taken a walk outside!" he said while we headed to the cockpit. As if it wasn't embarrassing enough...

"Sorry Master, we thought you wouldn't..."

He shook his head. "Anakin, please, when I accepted the fact that Padmè would come with us, I also accepted the fact that you might need some time all for you! I'm not blind Anakin! I know how some things work, even if I never experienced on my skin. Now, please, next time, instead of hiding like a couple of teenagers, just ask me and I'll get out for a while! It's not such an aggravating task!"

I will never thank him enough for what he said in that precise moment.

Anyway, I went to the cockpit and found Padmè already sitting in one of the chairs talking to Leia while she tried to fend of Luke from the trajectory of the holoprojector.

"Hey Squids, how are you?" I asked sitting down beside Padmè.

"We're fine Dad..." growled Leia pushing Luke out of the way. "Oh come on you little...stay out of my way, I want to talk to mom and dad!"

"I want to talk to them too Leia! You can't have them all for you they're my parents too!"

"There's room only for one of us! You'll have your time when I'm done!"

Padmè shook her head and tried to hide a laughter behind her hand. I was on my way to burst out loud. "Kids, there's room enough for everyone, don't argue!" I said. "Leia, look in front of you, slightly on your left. There's a small lever with _Image_ _Width_. Push it up a little and the scene should get larger, so you two can appear in it!"

She did as I told her and suddenly the scene was huge. We could see almost all the room, and we noticed Lysveet and Darrick behind them. Apparently, they were calling from Lysveet protected holostation, in her room.

"Not so much Leia, just a little. This way it's loo large!"

She pulled it backwards and the scene got smaller, with only them in it.

"Oh, that's perfect!" said Padmè. "Now...except for this minor inconvenience, are you two being good kids? You know that Aleha will tell you if you aren't!"

"We're fine mom!" said Luke. "We're being the best kids in the galaxy. We're even practicing a lot of levitation stuff! It's incredible! In a week we both managed to lift a box that weighted one hundred pounds!"

"Wow, that's great kids! You're getting better and better with the Force!" I said. I was genuinely impressed with them. They were improving so quickly, I could barely keep up with them.

The both nodded. "Thank you dad! And you? How's your search doing?"

"We're getting some clues here and there. We're on Averill now. Tomorrow we'll travel to Averill City. We have a nice lead there. Maybe we can find something more." replied Padmè.

"That's great mom!" said Luke. "When do you think you'll return?"

I sighed. "Ask Antilles. If he lifts my suspension, we'll return even tomorrow. But we still have almost three full weeks to go and I want to use them to find him. Or at least to get a clue where he might be, or go."

"He won't do it dad." interjected Leia. "Master Darrick tried to talk to him, and even Master Ahsoka did, but they didn't convince him. He's still pretty mad at you Dad..."

"I know Leia, but don't worry. I can take care of it!"

"We know dad. You're the best Jedi in the Galaxy! He can't stand a chance against you!"

I shook my head. "Kids, I'm not the best Jedi in the Galaxy. Some people thought I could be so, but no, I'm not. You know, I even resigned for my grade of Master last year, when we reformed a sort of Jedi Council! I'm just a Jedi Knight! The best in the galaxy is your Master, Obi-Wan. Remember that!"

Although not convinced, they nodded. "Ok, dad."

"Good. Now kids, what time is it there?" I asked them.

"It's late...and we should get to bed. Today we had a rather exciting day!" replied Leia.

"What did you do?" asked Padmè.

"Oh, Master Aleha taught us a fantastic game! You know, you have to place a scarf or something like that on your back, tucked under the hem your pants...then you start running and chase the others, trying to grab the others' scarf. The last one with the scarf wins!"

I knew that game. I had played it a lot at the Temple. It's useful to teach the kids how to use the Force to fell threats and incoming enemies, and boosts speed and agility. And it was fun, because it was a very competitive game, and the results were always impossible to guess.

"That's fantastic. Come on kids, if it's really that late, it's time for you to get to bed. And it's time for us too. Now, kids, remember, be good kids with Aleha, because otherwise there'll be a lot of troubles for you!"

"OK mom, we'll be!" promised Leia. I was sure she would be faithful to her promise, but Luke...well, he was too much like me. He loved troubles. I feared he would be a bit more difficult to handle. "Goodnight!"

"Goodnight kids! We miss you!"

Then we closed the call. At least they were having fun! And they were safe, that was all that mattered in that moment.

Next morning we flew to Averill City.

If you can call it capital.

Usually, the capital cities all around the galaxy are big, huge cities buzzing with activity and vehicles. The streets are overcrowded and people rarely look up from the ground, you can barely see the face of those who walk past you. At least, all the capital cities I've visited look that way.

Averill City was a small town built on the remains of an old mine that had crumbled something like two thousand years before. Part of the city was built on the side of a mountain, with short, angle roofed houses and small stone buildings. It looked more like a mountain village on Alderaan than the capital city of a mining planet.

However, appearances can deceive.

If Amdun worked as the main space port of the planet, the major trading center and exchange route, Averill City was a bustling political center. It was the place where all the mining guilds had a representation, where the prices of the extracted metal were decided and where important people lived.

And there was a huge police activity in the streets. Not Imperial police, but local. And I sincerely doubted that all those cops, in a city where they stored all the power, were clean as saints. I feared many of them were corrupted, and both Obi-Wan and Padmè had the same feeling.

Anyway, we took a look around before we headed to the place this famous Shrike lived and operated outside the law. We wanted to know at least one quick route out, just in case we had problems and we might need to get the heck out of that planet as fast as light. Not that we where heading for that kind of troubles!

Anyway, once we had a clear knowledge of the area, after all, Averill City was really small, one could visit the most important buildings in an hour of lazy walking around, we walked to the address Tautel gave us the day before.

When we arrived, we found in front of us a simple and rather old warehouse, a couple of speeders parked outside the the front door and a heavily harmed man just in front of it. He was a Rhodian, actually. Short and slender, but in his hands, he braced a heavy repeating automatic blaster. Which made him look a little more dangerous than what usually a Rhodian looks like.

"Where ya goin'?" he asked. It seemed like any lowlife on that freaking planet spoke with that dreadful tone when talking in Basic...it was unnerving, to say the least!

As usual, I let Obi-Wan do the talk. "We're here to see your boss."

His big, shiny black eyes roamed on us for a couple of times, suspicious. "Why?"

"He knows a friend and we're looking for him. We just want to ask him some questions, we're not cops or Imperials!" said Obi-Wan. I really have to say that sometimes I envied his ability to remain calm, his sabacc face!

"Ya ain't bounty hunters, are ya?" asked the Rhodian, still not truly convinced.

"No way. We don't want anything to deal with them. We just want to ask some questions, then we'll leave your boss alone."

"Who gave ya this address?"

"Pali Tautel. He was the one who told our friends to come here, if he needed help!"

Suddenly he lowered his blaster. Apparently, mentioning Tautel's name was a sort of all-access password. "Alright. Come with me!"

He opened a hatch in the bigger warehouse door and let us in.

Inside, the building was organized in different blocks. Part was used as a storage area, part was used as armory, others were used as workshop for speeders and swoop bikes...well, that place was a definitely a sort of headquarter for a vast organization. And I doubted all the activities they performed were legal.

"I must warn ya, Shrike's very busy now, ya know...tomorrow there's a huge swoop race and his best pilot gonna participate. Huge stakes, I can tell ya. Wanna bet?"

Races? Bets? Best pilot? Huge stakes? That sounded familiar!

"No thank you. I don't like gambling!" replied Obi-Wan, a meek smile on his face.

The thug shrugged his thin shoulders. "As you wish..." he stopped in the middle of the hallway that crossed the whole warehouse. "Boss! Pali sent som guys to talk to ya!"

"What the fuck does he want, that piece of trash..." came the disembodied (not for long) baritone voice of this Garris Shrike. "More money?" fortunately though, this guy talked way better than the others.

"They're lookin' for a friend boss! Pali told 'em he sent him here!"

Finally, this guy appeared. A middle-aged, weathered man, with a hulking stance and a grim look on his face, Garris Shrike looked anything but a servant of the law. He looked more like a pirate, or a smuggler. And I didn't like him. He seemed one of those men ready to do everything possible, and impossible, to obtain what they wanted.

Behind him, I saw a little crowd of people working on a speeder, and a Wookie sitting in the corner of the room, apparently doing nothing. Suddenly, I realized they wore far worse and dirtier clothes than Shrike or the few thugs we had encountered while working to that spot of the building.

Garris Shrike was a slaver.

I felt that anger rising in me, but I managed to hold it back and not showing any external sign of my disdain. I started being extra careful and more aware of my surroundings, just in case this guy decided that he wanted even us as slaves.

And after nine years spent in servitude, slave was the last thing I wanted to add to the list of adjective to describe me. I was OK with jerk, idiot and other derogatory terms, but not with slave.

Anyway...

"And who would this guy be?" he asked.

"Jax Scaler." replied Obi-Wan. "Tautel said he gave him your address, just in case he needed help. This should have happened three months ago, day more, day less."

He briskly nodded. "Yeah, I remember that guy. Drinks a lot, never talks. He needed a lift to Ruusan, but I didn't have any deals there for quite a long time, so I offered him a transport to Danalbeth, and told him how to find a guy I know who has a lot to deal with Ruusan these days." he told us. "To repay me for the favor, he helped me a lot here in the workshop. That guy can do some heavy lifts!"

Well, using the Force as an aid, I can bet!

"How long ago?"

"I don't know...maybe two months ago, something like that. Definitely not three months though. At that time, I wasn't even on this planet. I remember this guys with his heavy backpack asking for a transport maybe sixty days ago, around the time one of my guys ran the Boonta Eve classic..."

I almost jumped out of my skin at the name. Suddenly, my palms were aching for the steer of a pod...really, I missed that kind of driving! The thrill of speed and...well, you know...

"and he stayed here for a couple of days, before I sent a shipment of spices up to Danalbeth. He went with them."

"And after that? Have you heard of him?"

He shook his head. "Nope. But you can ask Han. He talked a lot to him, seemed like they became friends." he paused for a moment, before turning towards the crowd working on those speeders. "Solo! Get your lazy ass here!"

A strange shiver ran down my spine. I flash of a strange dream I had a year before came up from my memory, and when this Han Solo appeared, I had the certainty I wasn't wrong. I had seen that guy, only an older version of him, kissing my daughter in one of my visions.

Holy Fucking Crap. With capital letters.

"What's wrong boss?" he didn't look older than sixteen, maybe seventeen years, but by the look on his face, he had already seen the worst part of life.

"Nothing for now, but something will be definitely wrong if you break your precious hands or legs one day before the swoop race! I can't lose my best pilot now!"

"I ain't doing anything dangerous!" he whined.

"Don't care. Listen, these guy's here are looking for that man, Scaler...the one you talked a lot sometime ago. Do you remember him?"

The boy nodded. "Yep. Strange guy. He behaved oddly, it was like someone was chasing him and he was running away. He was nice though, once I got to know him. He helped me a lot with my swoop, and even taught me a couple of tricks that helped me win the next race!"

"Did he mention where he was heading?" I asked then.

"No sir. He just said he wanted to set foot on Ruusan as soon as possible."

That boy wasn't telling us the whole truth. I could feel it. As could Obi-Wan, but we didn't insist. Probably he was just afraid of Shrike. If my guess was right, he was a slave too, and he feared a punishment if he said something that might have been considered wrong by his owner.

I definitely knew the feeling.

And it was time for me to do something. I wanted to talk to that boy alone, without Shrike. I had the feeling he could tell us much more than that.

"Where is he racing?" I asked Shrike, pointing at Solo.

"Hoth's Brand. Tomorrow afternoon. Are you interested in betting on him?" Shrike's eyes were gleaming. That man lived on illegitimate activities, such as smuggling spices and illegal gambling. I knew the type.

"Maybe." I said, leaving him guessing if I would bet on his golden boy or not. "But I like speed racing. We might go and get a look at this boy. After all, it's the kind of sport that's always looking for new talents!"

"Good. Then let me know if you want to make some easy money. Box sixteen, ask for Shrike and they'll let you in."

"Alright. So, maybe we'll see you tomorrow!"

"Good. It was nice to talk to you!" said Shrike with fake courtesy. He hadn't asked money for what he had told us just because he had seen me interested in gambling.

With that, we left. After a while, I hastened the pace. "What were you thinking?" asked Padmè. "We don't have time for gambling!"

"Padmè, in other circumstances, I'd think the same, but Anakin has a plan!"

I nodded. "Yep. That boy...Han Solo, he knows something more than what he told us. I want the chance to speak to him alone, without Shrike. That guy scares the crap out of him and he deliberately withhold something. I want to know what he is hiding!"

Padmè changed expression. "Oh...alright, you're the Force Sensitive here. But...let me ask you a question...isn't there any kind mind reading technique you can use?"

It was Obi-Wan that answered. "There is, more than one actually, but they're so hard to learn that not even Master Yoda can do it!"

"Oh...well, in that case, how much do I have to withdraw from the Alliance's finances?" she asked, almost jokingly.

"Not much...I'm not going to risk anything until I lay my eyes on that boy tomorrow. Then I'll decide if I can risk some money or not." I told her. "Shrike's betting against him. He's sure he won't win this race. I don't know why, but tomorrow he won't bet on Solo."

"Sounds like a familiar event..." she mumbled then.

"Exactly. I want to know why he's not betting on him, resolve the problem, then bet something like one hundred credits on Solo. If he wins, and the stakes are as high as they were on me on the Boonta Eve, we'll get so much money we could afford to buy a new X-Wing fleet."

Obi-Wan looked up at me, scorning my exaggeration.

"Alright, maybe not an entire fleet, but the winnings will be consistent. That boy has the stuff to win, I can tell you!"

"You sound like Qui Gon Jinn twenty three years ago!" replied Padmè.

"Really?" asked Obi-Wan.

"Yes. The same thing. And that's what got us out of Tatooine during the Naboo Crisis. Is he Force sensitive?"

Obi-Wan shook his head. At all. Just an innate ability. It happens!"

"Great. Let's just hope you're right, otherwise we'll be short of two hundred credits in the span of a couple of days!"

I chuckled. "Don't worry. If two Jedi think it's a good plan, it must be!"

I saw her roll her eyes and sight. "The whole Jedi Council thought it was a good idea to replace Chancellor Valorum in favor of Palpatine. And where did that decision drove us?"

Obi-Wan and I exchanged a worried look. She was right. The mistakes made by the Jedi Council during those years were uncountable. And almost unthinkable. But those were different times, different Jedi, different ideas.

We were not going to make those mistakes again.

When we arrived on the ship, Artoo was replacing a fuse in the energy generator for the living quarters.

"Artoo, set the route to Hoth's Brand, we're out of here!" I told him as soon as I was in the cockpit.

He chirped happily and took position. He took a quick look at the star map and announced we would get to the planet in barely fifteen minutes at impulse speed. I loved that little droid, he could almost read my mind when he needed to.

Not a minute later, the entrance ramp was sealed and we were taking off.

Hoth's Brand was waiting for us!

* * *

_And I thought this chapter would take me a lot to write it! It was easy as hell! Once I started typing, I couldn't stop! I am amazed of myself! Hell yeah! _

_I told you some old acquaintances would appear here! Here's the first one, a seventeen years old Han Solo, under the tutelage of the smuggler that raised him after his parents died. I spent a whole days researching names and characters of his backstory and heck, here it is! Part of it of course, this happens eleven years before Episode IV so, well, many things will happen in his future. And the thing about swoop bikes is true. He ran in official (and even illegal) races. And he was quite good at it!_

_Anyway, hope you liked it. See ya next time!_


	19. Speed Of Sound

_A.N. All the stuff about Hoth's Brand is totally invented, it's my own mind that made it up. At the time I wrote that part, I didn't have internet access to check Wookiepedia if they were even distantly correct, therefor, don't take them as a canonical description. Except for the fact that it's named after Jedi Master Hoth, it's all made up. I just needed that kind of setting, like a bigger scale Tatooine, to make it at least believable. Enjoy!_

* * *

**Chapter 19 – Speed Of Sound**

Hoth's Brand, even if named as a great Jedi Master of the past, wasn't such a big planet.

Like Averill, the planet lived of commerce, but not exclusively metal trade. In the last few centuries, Hoth's Brand had become a very important trade node for the sector. Its favorable position granted it much relevance as a crucial place for every kind of trader. Both legal and illegal.

Both respectable traders and outlaw smugglers used Hoth's Brand as a place for their exchanges, we saw it immediately as we set foot outside the ship. The spaceport of the capital, and don't ask me the name because I don't remember and I think I can't recall it because the name was almost impossible to pronounce, was buzzing with activity. It was early morning there, therefor most of the traders had just arrived with their stuff for local markets or to sell them to other traders. The usual stuff in the end.

While going out of the spaceport, I noticed a few ships with a large crowd outside, taking swoop bikes outside their cargo hold. Teams were already arriving to settle in their pits and start making accommodations to their bikes in order to obtain a better performance from the engines. I swear, I would have paid any price to step on one of those bikes and run with them, too bad I didn't have one with me, not to mention that they were too slow for my tastes. I preferred pods mostly for their high speed races, and that caused a couple of heated arguments when I was on Dxun. I wondered when that Shrike would have arrived...

Anyway...

This time though, we decided to bring Artoo with us. I wanted him to check on Solo's bike, next day right before the race, and fix anything he found out of place, anything that could prevent him from winning. I wanted that guy to win, not only because I was sure someday I'd have to deal with him again, in a very personal way (a thought that made my skin crawl), but most of all because I wanted to bet something more than money with Shrike. Not his freedom, like Master Jinn had done with me, but at least the chance to talk to him alone.

I needed to know what he was hiding. I was sure it was a crucial matter.

As Obi-Wan.

After asking around a couple of times, we managed to get a better idea of the place where the race would take place and a smuggler of some kind gave us a couple of info for good places to check the stakes and get better knowledge of all the racers.

That would be a great idea!if we knew who we had to deal with, placing a carefully calibrated bet would make us earn a lot of money.

So, along with Artoo who would have made all the calculations needed to have a better knowledge of the race, we went to one of the gambling houses, the one closest to the circuit. It served both as a bar and as a legal gambling place, with pazaak and sabaac authorized tables, holo projector for a lot of sports, blood sports included, much to Padmè's dismay.

It was early morning, but it was already running at full power. The lists were still incomplete, since not all the teams had arrived yet to enroll their pilots, but there was an unofficial list of participants made by a guy who worked for an industry who sold racing equipment and engine replacements. Monitoring the orders for engine augmentations and pieces of equipments to largely known addresses of racing teams for a couple of weeks or even more, he was able to predict who would participate every race of the system. Or so the owner of the bar said. He uploaded this unofficial list on our datapad and told us to take a seat in one of the booths and take a close look at it, since it contained a lot of information about every racing team listed, even those who were not sure to run.

It was an efficient way to run that kind of business. You allow your customers to have all the info they need to bet, feed them and provide lots of drinks (although alcohol was served only after five PM because of a city law created to prevent brawls and fatal accidents in gambling houses, or at least contain them.) so they would not only bet in your place, but also pay for food and drinks.

Way, way better than the system used on Tatooine, where gambling was done between limited circles of people who knew each other. Also, since they allowed gambling on other sports too, their profits were multiplied each time there was a race and some other big event around the galaxy. Quite often then, I dare to say.

So, we ordered something to drink and went down to our business. I connected Artoo to the datapad, so he could make his wonders without haste, then we all proceeded going through the list.

There were forty possible participants enlisted on the unofficial release, twenty two of them had already enrolled for one or more categories of race. Some teams ran in each category, which were based on the power of the engine of the bike. There were four of them, and the last one, since it was run by the fastest bikes available, was the most prestigious, and the one that attracted more viewers and gamblers.

Shrike's team had already enrolled, even if they hadn't arrived yet. Well, they still had more than the standard twenty four hours to get there. Solo raced only in the last category, even if I doubted he was old enough to have a license for that kind of bikes, but, heck, his owner was a smuggler and a criminal, I was sure he had his ways to get a fake license. It wasn't too difficult. I could do it myself!

A particular name on the list though attracted my attention. One of the last team names written on it, one of the possible runner, was owned by someone going by the name of Sebulba.

My heart skipped a beat or two.

"What the fuck?" I snapped out loud, interrupting Obi-Wan as he talked about I don't remember what.

"What?" he asked a bit surprised by my rudeness.

"Here...this team, one of those who might enroll in the next hours...the owner is Sebulba!"

I saw Padmè's eyes grow worried. "That Sebulba?"

I nodded. "I fear it's him. Damn, I hope he doesn't recognize me!"

Obi-Wan made a strange face. "Are you talking about the Dug that almost killed you at the Boonta Eve breaking your heath dissipation system?"

"Exactly...I think he resigned from piloting and started his own racing team. Apparently, he decided Tatooine wasn't big enough for his fame!"

"Or that the Hutts were keeping too much money from the gambling!" added Obi-Wan, twitching his beard through his fingers.

"Yep...he runs in the same category as Solo. Or at least another Dug named Hekula is listed as pilot. Probably he's his son!"

"Don't worry about it Anakin, you're totally different since you were nine years old. Even Watto had a hard time recognizing you, and he spent most of his day with you!"

"I know...it's just...we were rivals for so long...I fear he's still holding a grudge on me for winning the Boonta Eve that day!"

"Oh, forget about that! He's not even officially enrolled!" stated Obi-Wan. "He might not even do it. Don't worry about him. We can always send him chasing butterflies in the desert with a simple mind trick if he becomes a problem!"

"Oh, that's something I definitely want to see!" added Padmè.

By lunchtime, the official list came out. Thirty six teams would have run in the fourth category. Races would start at nine AM next morning with the first category. The circuit was already opened for visitors, fans and journalists had a limited but nevertheless interesting chance to get into the pits of their favorite teams that afternoon. Entrance prices were fixed at fifteen Imperial credits or sixty local currency for adults and ten Imperial credits or forty five local currency for children. Droids were allowed with a minor extra cost on the owner's ticket.

Well, fair prices after all. The Boonta Eve Classic fares were much higher. If you weren't part of the racing team or a relative of the pilot, prices ranged from sixty coins of Tatooine currency, about one hundred and twenty five Republican credits, no matter if you were adult or child, for the cheapest seats to much higher, and almost unaffordable, prices for much fashionable seats closer to the circuit and provided with effectively functioning sun shields.

Anyway, that afternoon, while Padmè and Obi-Wan purchased our tickets for the next day, Artoo and I took a short tour of the racing facility. One of the security guys even allowed me to walk on the circuit for a while, still standing in front of the pit lane of course, where they could control me.

It was a pavement circuit, with high tech cement able to drain water, in case it would start raining. There were countless rows of seats on both sides of the circuit, some marked in red and some in white, probably to mark the difference between booked seats and those who are sold the same day of the race. I don't know actually, and I didn't care much.

The whole circuit was fifteen miles long, it was more a speed circuit than an ability one. Let me explain. The circuits with more curves than straight sections and, if the discipline allowed, obstacles were defined "ability circuits", because a pilot needed to concentrate more on the road in front of him. If the straight sections surpassed the curves or obstacles, they were called "speed circuits" because the bike, or the pod or other competition vehicle could reach higher speeds. A pod could reach higher speeds than a swoop bike, but I had seen competition bikes built to reach three hundred and fifty miles per hour. A remarkable goal, indeed.

Anyway, a couple of hours later, after a lengthy and rather inquisitive search of the pit lane, we decided to go back to the spaceport and do some maintenance to our ship. We filled the water supply, checked air filters and filled the compartment with the liquid that allowed the ship to recycle water, for example water from the dish washing or the shower was purified and used for the toilet or to cool the engines. Boring stuff like that, tasks that Artoo alone could not perform, because the owner of the ship needed to purchase some stuff and sign modules and other bureaucratic stuff.

Later that night we decided to wander around a little more, and maybe go back to that gambling house we had visited that morning, just to catch some breaking news from the gamblers.

Unfortunately we didn't gather much more than what we already knew, and the slightly chilly air forced us to retreat to our ship for the night. Night that I spent dreaming of every single podracing event I had attended to, both as a spectator and as a pilot. Which made me itch even more to participate to that freaking race, but, heck, I had to stay put. I had already almost ruined a mission or more, and sometimes caused someone's death, because I had put my own wishes ahead of the mission.

Not this time. I had learned the lesson, the hard way.

Anyway, we woke up a couple of hours before the beginning of the races, so we had all the time to arrive at the circuit, so we decided not to haste things. The fourth category run around two PM, so we had all the time to get there, meet Shrike and check Solo's bike for anything out of place, right before they closed the pits for the two hours before the beginning of the race. Bets could be placed up until the beginning of it...we dared to say we could take it slow, for once!

We arrived just before the first category racers started their run. We took our seat, not too far from the entrance of the pit lane and waited. The speaker announced the names of the pilots and a minute later the race begun.

It lasted a total of sixteen minutes. The guy who won was barely fourteen years old, the legal age to pilot those kind of bikes, and he was very talented. Not a bad race, just a bit dull. Speed circuits tend to be a little boring, it's just a matter to have the better engine under your ass.

Curious, Padmè kept asking questions about the engines, the characteristics of the different designs and stuff like that. This time she wasn't over worried with the crisis on her homeworld, she wasn't the Queen of Naboo anymore, or a Senator. She could enjoy a day at the races, even if we weren't there only for our pleasure.

Actually, I could definitely tell that Obi-Wan was incredibly bored by the whole thing, he had never been into sports, but he tried to keeping himself occupied watching the world around him, the people around us that talked, discussed, argued, checked the last minute news for betting...unfortunately, it wasn't a great way to spend the time before the final and most important race.

We had to wait a couple of hours and two other races before we were allowed to join the Shrike Team in the pit lane.

Shrike came himself to welcome us. He was eager to gamble with us, I was sure. "So, here you are. I hope you're having a good time!"

"Not too bad, but we're waiting for the main event." I told him. "Listen...can I check the swoop?"

Suddenly, his face darkened. "Why?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Mere curiosity. I won't touch it, if it's that you're worried about."

He seemed unsure of what to do. That gave me the absolute certainty he had tampered with the bike. I had to fix that as soon as I could.

He looked around for a moment, trying to find a way out, but there was none. It was a common practice between gamblers to inspect the pod or the bike of the guy they were betting on. Most of all if the team owner was the one you were betting with!

"Alright. But keep that droid away from the bike. I don't want any droid close to the bike except mine. Understood?" his voice had raised a couple of tones, trying to sound a tad menacing. Too bad that hidden underneath my pants, tied around my leg, I had my lightsaber. He sounded as threatening as a puppy.

I raised my hands and nodded. "He'll stay here under his eyes. It won't take more than a minute. I'm just curious."

"Alright, be quick though!"

Obi-Wan gave me a minute nod and started talking to him about inconsequential stuff while I reached the parking place where the swoop stood on its props. It was a beautiful piece of craftsmanship, a solid but light alloy of durasteel and some other metal, don't know which one but it wasn't completely steel. The bodywork was painted with incredibly realistic blue flames, a bit of a cliche but still it was a very good painting. Most of it was hand built, I recognized a couple of components I had to worked with during my time on Dxun, most of all stamped circuits and cables. The engines were new, I had never heard of them. Fortunately for me, there was a guy working on it and the engines were turned on. Through the Force I could definitely hear where the problem was. Someone had not screwed the gas chamber correctly. That would lead to a tiny, but still significant in matters of performances. A leak like that could in fact mutilate the chances to reach maximum speed and therefor to win the race.

Using the Force, I screwed it tightly so it would deal the best performance it could. I checked if it had other problems but it looked fine, even the noise it made was slightly different and, to a close and expert ear, healthier, if you can allow me to say it about an engine.

With that done, I headed back where Shrike was talking with Obi-Wan and Padmè when I noticed Han sitting all alone on a pile of junk. He looked incredibly miserable. And I admit that boy inspired me nothing but compassion. I knew how it felt to be a slave, unfortunately, so I decided to talk to him for a moment.

"Hey, are you ready?" I asked him.

He shrugged his shoulders. "I have to, or Garris is gonna kill me."

I sat down beside him. "Yeah, I know the feeling. I was pretty much in the same situation when I was younger!"

"Did someone exploit you since you were a kid whose parents had died?" he asked, doubtful. "I doubt it."

"Han, I was a slave once. My mother was a slave too. I lived on a planet where most of the economy revolved around gambling about podracing. And my master made me run. That's why I knew how it feels."

He looked up at me in shock. "Podracing? But...that's impossible! You're human!"

"Eh, many people told me the same thing. Even the man that set me free from slavery, when I was a kid."

"Well, at least you had the chance to live your life. That woman...is she your wife?"

I nodded. "Yep, she is." suddenly my mind went back to that dream I had the year before. I had thought it wasn't more than a deranged vision that came out of nowhere but...heck now I had that Han right beside me. I had the feeling one day our relationship would have been strained, to say the least. "We've been married for a while now."

"How long?"

"Twelve years just a couple of months ago!"

He nodded. "Well, you're lucky. And if I am too, one day I'll find a woman to settle down with."

That sentence made me shiver. "Don't worry Han. Life's never what you expect. But, take this advice from someone who managed to earn his freedom. Take every chance you can see. Risk, don't be afraid of Garris. He's just a man. An men can fail. Once he does, just get away from him."

He chuckled. "Not that I haven't tried! I managed to run away some years ago but where the hell could I go? I don't have anyone!"

"You're a pilot. Try to use this skill. There are a lot of people looking for good pilots. That should do enough!" I told him as I stood up. I didn't want to push what he was hiding the day before, I didn't want to shook him before the race. "Now, try to concentrate on your race. That bike, anyway, is just awesome!"

He nodded and I went back to the others. They were still speaking with Shrike.

"Alright, now I'm willing to place a bet on your pilot. How about two thousand credits?"

He looked slightly shocked by the amount I had told him. He didn't think I was that stupid. Too bad I knew Han would have won.

"Between you and me or on the official gambling system?" he asked.

"I'm not a criminal, I'd prefer to place the bet on the official network. But if you want, we can always gamble between each other, by other means."

"Oh, I'm OK with that, but I have to tell you, Han's chances to win are very thin. That guy, the Dug, Sebulba's son, he's the best here! Since the Empire forbid podracing, they turned to swoop bikes and now there's little chance for anyone!"

Now I understood why he tampered with his own pilot and bike. Sebulba was spreading his reign of terror even here aroudn swoop bikes. He didn't want to have anything to deal with him.

"Oh, don't worry about him." I told him. "I dealt with him a couple of times before. He's harmless."

"Harmless? He broke another pilot's back because he dared to surpass his son a couple of moths ago!"

"Oh come on! You're a big tough guy and you're afraid of a Dug?" interjected Obi-Wan. "They're belligerant, but they're not really dangerous!"

"Oh well, if you're willing to sacrifice your spine...anyway, what do you want to gamble, unofficially I mean?"

"How about you let your boy out for a while and let me talk to him after the race, if he wins?"

"About what?" he asked, suspicious.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to kill him or anything. I just want to talk to him. Alone."

"Where?"

"How about that bar not too far from here? The gambling house?" I proposed.

He nodded. "Seems fair. What if he loses?"

"Ten thousand credits, all for you." I snapped.

I took him off guard. "What?"

"You heard me. Ten thousand credits, all for you. Or you'd prefer gambling his ownership?"

He vehemently shook his head. "No way. That boy is mine and I won't ever sell him, he's a gold mine! I accept your deal. But I want the money as soon as the race ends. Be prepared!"

With that, he turned around and left.

"Anakin?" called Obi-Wan.

"Yeah?"

"Are you sure of what you're doing? Ten thousand credits is almost all we have!" he said.

"Oh, don't worry. Just hand me the two thousand so I can place our bet. I'll meet you at our seats."

Twenty minutes later, I was back with the receipt of our bet and our lunch. On my way back to the circuit, I found a nice Bothan take away and since all of us enjoyed that kind of cuisine, I decided it would be good to have something to drink while we waited.

And the wait seemed endless. Finally, we saw the swoop bikes being dragged outside on the circuit, in their positions. Han's was on the third line. Not a bad place to start, but I would have preferred he started at least on the second, or, even better, the first.

Well, we couldn't have everything easily. It wasn't in our nature. Doing things the easy way was just too boring for us!

Even if I admit that sometimes I wished things would go at least not in a way that forced Obi-Wan and I to draw our lightsaber out to settle down the situation!

Anyway...

We were all feverishly waiting for the beginning of the race. The speaker announced the name and the starting grid, so we learned that Hekula had performed a disastrous test race earlier that morning so he had to start from the twelfth line, way way too far from a favorable position. I doubted that, if that morning at the test laps he had performed so bad, he would pose as a threat to Han. But the desire to hijack his attempts by sabotaging his bike using the Force was getting stronger by the moment.

"You know..." I started at a certain point, breaking the silence that had formed around us. "If I really were a total jerk like Beru said the other day, now I would sabotage Hekula's bike, just to take my little revenge on his father, even if I beat him again, after the Boonta Eve."

"And why don't you do it?" asked Obi-Wan.

"Because it would be like shooting on a corpse! He's starting from the twelfth line, he was the worst performer this morning...I really doubt they managed to correct the flaws that made him run that bad!"

"Are you sure?"

I nodded. "Absolutely. Can't you feel how his engines cringe? It feels like it's crying through the Force!"

He shook his head. "Anakin, I never I you could understand how you can actually feel and engine the way you do."

"Oh well, in that case...come on, let's watch that guy win the race!"

"Are you sure he's going to win?" asked Padmè, still worried about the huge sum of money I had gambled with Shrike.

"Yeah, I'm sure. That guy has the stuff to become a great pilot, I can feel it. He's headstrong but he has self control, just what a good pilot needs. I wouldn't be surprised if he showed up to be better than me!"

"Oh that would be a miracle Anakin! I've never seen anyone fly like you!" stated Obi-Wan. "That's probably why I hate flying so much! Because most of the time you were the pilot!"

"Oh, thank you Master! Just what I needed to boost my self esteem! You know it got knocked down pretty bad in the past few years!" I joked.

"Oh, don't worry about it! I prefer you this way!" he said. "But, let's watch the race. They're about to start!"

Then, right from that moment, the crowd stood silent until the race started. The rumble of the engines as they turned them on filled the area, chocking any other sound. The team members left the starting grid, leaving only the pilots with their bikes. The tension was palpable around us.

The lights suddenly turned red, signaling the standby. The roar of the bikes became almost deafening at that short distance. Padmè had to cover her ears in order to stand the noise. Still no sound from the people around us.

But when the lights turned green and the bikes practically disappeared from the grid lane, the noise from the crowd became unbearable. Trying to stand it, I concentrated on the screen on front of me which gave a live stream of the head of the race, while another screen listed the order of the pilots, constantly updated.

Han had jumped from sixth to third in the span of a couple of turns. Yep, that guy had a natural talent for racing. And the speed generated from that bike was incredible. I admit I had never seen a swoop bike race, but I had attended to a fair amount of podracing events and believe me, they were just as exciting. Hekula, on the other way, had been overtaken by a couple of other pilots. It wasn't his day, at all.

By the second lap, Han was already second, keeping the others away with skill.

But there was a pilot that could make Han's work a little tougher than what I had expected. This Rhodian was incredibly skilled himself and was keeping Han behind him with apparently no effort, even if the teenager was trying his best to overtake him. It was a duel between them, while behind the real race was taking place. The rest of the pilots were fighting each other like gladiators to catch a better position.

Around the tenth place, there was a battle going on. It lasted for a couple of laps, between three pilots, until one of them had a malfunction and literally crashed into the safety guard that lined the circuit and the one that followed took his position.

The whole race lasted ten laps. Around the sixth, most of the action had already taken place, many racers were just trying to hold on their position, defending it like it was their last hope to survive. I could already see some unhappy faces among the people around me, most of all those who had bet a lot of money on Hekula, who yesterday held the throne of the winning previsions. Too bad they had placed their bets yesterday and hadn't waited the test laps that morning, or they would had bet on that Rhodian that was still battling with Han.

The boy had managed to surpass him a couple of times but the Rhodian had retaken his place every time.

"It's not getting any better for him." stated Obi-Wan when Han's bike swerved a bit during a dangerous turn.

"Don't worry. That guy has still some chances." but deep inside, considering the way the other racer was holding his position, I was starting to doubt my own feelings about him.

Perhaps the similarity of our stories had blinded my own sensations? I really hoped it didn't, or we were pretty much screwed.

My eyes were fixed on the screen and I was clutching my hands so tightly that the knuckles of my left hand were turning white. That boy had to win...or we were neck-deep into troubles.

I was almost losing hope when suddenly the Rhodian made a huge and unforgivable mistake. He just slowed down, no one knows why, but he simply lifted his foot from the pedal. Maybe he thought he had already won, something like that, he just slowed down too much during one of the last turns of the circuit, action that allowed Han to overtake him and catch the first position.

And this happened all in a fraction of second, merely half a mile before the end of the race. Han had exploited his adversary's pride and had won the race. I still think he couldn't believe it himself!

I dared to glance at his pit and I saw Shrike paling and run his hands through his gray hair. He had lost a considerable amount of money, I was sure of that. While we had won roughly ten thousand Imperial Credits. Smiling, I looked at Padmè and Obi-Wan, who were just as shocked as Shrike, but in a completely different way.

"I told you..." I said then.

"Anakin, do you realize we had just doubled our actual finances with one single bet?" asked Padmè in disbelief?

I nodded. "I do. It's one of the advantages of growing up circled by gamblers. You learn to calculate the stakes quite well!"

Dodging the crowd and some very angry men who had gambled a bit too much more than they could afford on the wrong pilot, we managed to reach the gambling house and collect our money, with the compliments of the clerk. The total sum was eleven thousand six hundred thirty one Imperial Credits, enough to keep traveling around the galaxy for twice the time we expected. Paying all the taxes, fuels and anything.

Not bad!

Then we returned to the pit lane. Shrike was shouting orders and commands left and right, his face was as red as the flame coming out his bike. Poor Han was sitting in his corner, still covered with dust, trying to look invisible to avoid his master's wrath.

"Oh, you're here. What the fuck do you want?" he asked me as he spotted us.

"Don't be angry my friend. Things like this happen all the time. It the world of gambling!" I told him.

"The fuck they happen! Someone tampered with the engine and made it run faster, it wasn't supposed to be that fast!" he shouted. "Too bad I just checked the close circuit cameras and you never touched that thing so I don't know who's the fucker that made me lose five thousand credits!"

"Oh come on, put some trust in that boy! Did you see what he did today? Try to bet on him next time, and give him a bike that matches his abilities, for the Force sake!"

He made a face and waved his hand, dismissing what I had just said. "I do the fuck I want. Now, are you here to collect your bet?" he asked, angrily.

"Yep. Can he come with us?"

He nodded. "Yeah, he can. He's useless right now. He's too tired to help us packing. Han!" he shouted. The boy lifted his head and looked at us. I could see, as well as feel, his fear. "Get cleaned up and go with them. You have the afternoon free!"

He nodded and ran inside. "Be sure to bring him back by six. We leave an hour later and I want to be sure he won't try anything stupid with you!"

"Why should he?" asked Obi-Wan.

"Because your friend here looks like someone who wants to take him away from me! That's why!" then he turned around and disappeared in the small building. We never saw him again. Years later, he died, somewhat mysteriously, by the hands of an unknown bounty hunter.

We didn't have to wait long. Roughly ten minutes later, Han emerged from the pit showered and changed, still his face was rather dark, even if he had won the race.

Silently, we walked over the gambling house and found an empty booth. Han slumped on the padded bench and crossed his arms on the table. He was exhausted.

"Why did you bring me here?" he asked.

"First of all, to eat something. You must be starving!" said Obi-Wan.

He nodded. "Yeah, I was too agitated this morning and I didn't have breakfast."

"Great. Get what you want. We can afford pretty much anything today."

I knew his tactic. He was trying to make him feel comfortable around us, because he knew Han trusted no one except himself. He gave us a minute nod then sat up straight. "What do you want to talk about?" he asked then.

I was about to start the questioning, but the barman arrived and asked our orders. A couple of minutes later he arrived with our drinks. Corellian Ale for me and Han, bribb juice for Padmè and Corellian noale for Obi-Wan. It seemed strange that Padmè didn't order ale like me, because she enjoyed it a lot, but she told me she didn't want another migraine so she was trying to avoid alcohol and spiced foods.

Anyway...

"Alright, since it will take a while to be interrupted again...did you tell us everything you know about Scaler?" I asked.

He looked at me,straight in my eyes and I saw a tiny contraction on his face, just below his left cheek. Definitely now. He looked around, as if he wanted to check if there was one of Shrike's thug, then shook his head.

"No, I didn't. But only because he asked me not to tell anything to anyone." he confessed.

Well, at least he was being honest since the beginning!

"Why?"

"Because his real name is not Scaler, it's Pavan. And he has a bounty on his head. Because he's a Jedi."

I nodded. "I know. I know him pretty well, since we grew up together!"

He arched his eyebrow. "That's impossible. You should be Jedi!"

Obi-Wan and I made a strange face, both of us, without even notice it. Padmè hid an amused smile behind her hand, telling us later that she would have burst into hard laughs if she hadn't been in public!

"Well, you do the math." I told him.

He looked at us, barely believing what we were telling him. "You're Jedi? All of you?"

Padmè shook her head. "No, I'm not! Former politician, but not Jedi!"

Han sagged back and sighed. "I should have thought about this chance when he told me someone was chasing him."

"It wasn't us he was talking about. We started looking for him roughly ten days ago. He's being chased by Imperial Inquisitors and we're trying to find him before they do. What did he tell you?"

In that moment, our meals arrived. As starving as he was, Han practically threw himself on his plate and assaulted his lunch. Poor guy, he was really hungry. We let him chow, before I asked him again the same question.

"Well, he told me he was a Jedi when I noticed he could lift things that were too heavy for even the strongest thug, so he revealed his true identity. Apparently, he trusted me enough to tell me he was going to Ruusan to check on something called the Valley of the Jedi or something like that."

Obi-Wan nodded. "That's the exact name, don't worry."

"Oh, alright." He downed another thick piece of steak and spoke again. "Practically, he told me he had the feeling that down there, in that valley I mean, there's some kind of spiritual power that could be absorbed and used to harm others or...well, I actually didn't understand much of his words."

I nodded. "Don't worry, it's not important. Did he tell you where he was going?"

"Well, Garris offered him a lift to Danalbeth but after that I don't really know where he went. He's a bit of an elusive guy!"

"We know." I chuckled. "Anything else?"

He was thoughtful for a moment, as he chewed his steak slowly. "Actually, yeah. I had sworn I wouldn't have told anyone but since you're friends...last week, he contacted me. He didn't tell me if he had already been on Ruusan or not, but he asked me where to find Imperials. Don't ask me why though! I didn't ask. Anyway, I told him that lately there had been a lot of Imperial movements on Drogheda, not too far from here. If I remember correctly, three or four months ago, I definitely can't remember the date, there was a sort of riot on the planet against the Empire. Nothing too big, but if I'm not mistaken, they took residence in Drogeda Citadel, once they had sedated the riots."

Well, that was interesting. "Did he say if he wanted to go there?"

He nodded, chewed hard and downed the last piece of his lunch. "Definitely. He said he was going to take a look, but don't ask me why. I don't really know. He didn't tell me, and I didn't ask."

"Don't worry Han, it's far more than what I was expecting you to know."

"Was I useful?" he asked.

"Far more than you could think. Don't worry Han, you were very useful. Now, finish your lunch and then we'll take you back to Shrike." I told him

His shoulders sagged a bit. "Do I have to?"

"I'm afraid you have, Han." interjected Obi-Wan. "What we're doing here it's really dangerous, and we can't afford do risk your life. Don't worry, you'll find a way out of this."

The look on his face made me recall the same feelings I had experienced years before, when I was a slave. I definitely could relate to him. And I felt like I had to do something to repay him of his help and trust.

I pulled my wallet out of my jacket. "Han, listen, we can't give you much, but I think 2,500 credits will do for a while. Use it to bet on yourself, on official gambling houses, not the illegal circuit. Small sums in the beginning, and only when you're sure to win. If you're afraid to do it, use my name, don't worry about it. You make the bets, you collect your money. Use it wisely though, to get away from Shrike. Don't spend it on useless stuff. Can you promise me that?" I asked him as I handed him the bills.

He looked up at me in disbelief. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because I know how it feels to be a slave. That's why. And because you helped us. You deserve a lot more than a paid lunch. You deserve your freedom, but at the moment we don't have enough money to buy it. Deal?" I gave him my hand, and he grabbed it, shaking it with more strength then necessary.

"Deal. I don't know how to thank you!"

"You already did by helping us. Now, go and help yourself. We'll see again, sometime in the future!"

He nodded and stood up. "Thank you again!" then he left without a word more.

I took a deep breath and sighed, while I put my wallet back.

"Why did you do it?" asked Padmè, a bit concerned about my free flow of money of the last couple of days.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Oh well, I liked that guy. And I have the feeling we'll meet him again. It might take a long time, but we'll have to deal with him again."

Obi-Wan smiled. "In what circumstances?"

"I don't know." I lied blatantly, but the mere thought of him and my daughter together still gave me the creeps. "But I definitely know something will happen."

It took more than ten years, but something happened. For real!

* * *

_Hi there! I'm getting closer to the core of the story, you'll see in a while. I thought it would have taken me a while longer to get there but, you know, I have a lot of spare time now so, what do I do? I write! And sincerely, I'm a step away from transforming Over the hills... into a fantasy novel. No really, a real fantasy novel with magicians and stuff! I just need to plan a couple of things and change the setting. It might take a while, but, heck, I can do it! Really, I feel like I can write my own novel! We'll see._

_So, hope you liked it. See ya next time! Oh, and in a couple of days if I were you I'd check The Missing Moments. I'm going to upload something there too! See ya!_


	20. Fear Catalyst

_Tiny, tiny advice: I didn't find any info about Drogheda, I only know it's a very rich and florid planet, and that Drogheda Citadel is a fortress. Nothing more. As usual, don't take what I write as the canon truth. Most of the stuff I write is made up for the sake of the story. Thank you!_

* * *

**Chapter 20 – Fear Catalyst**

Drogheda was calling.

Since Jax had called Han already a week before, the lead was almost cold, considering the speed Jax could move from a place to another, we decided to take it slow. There was no need to rush there. Jax had probably left five or four days before.

And it might seem strange, but the tension that builds up during the races, even if you're only part of the public, is incredibly intense and tends to wear people out pretty easily. Most of all mentally. And the stress of the whole situation made me sleepy by mid afternoon. W were in the same gambling house where we'd had lunch with Han some hours before and I started drinking a cup of coffee after the other while we searched for information about Drogheda on the datapad we had downloaded the star maps updated by Jax on the Lars' computer.

At the third one, Padmè placed her hand on my arm and pulled the cup away from my hand. "I think you had enough for today."

"I'm just trying to stay up, I'm a bit tired!"

"I know, but you can't live on coffee Anakin."

"Actually, I did for a while I was on Dxun. More than a while actually, more than three months!"

"Why?" asked Obi-Wan.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Nightmares. I couldn't get back to sleep once I woke up, so I lived on coffee until we arrived on Dantooine. Sleeping was a little easier there."

"Easier?" asked Padmè.

I nodded. "Yep. I think Dxun had a sort of Dark Side inclination and that influenced my dreams, turning them into nightmares."

"Probable. Dantooine is a very neutral planet in the Force, that's why you sleep better there!"

"I didn't know that the Force could influence an entire planet!"

"Well, not every planet is influenced by the Force." started Obi-Wan. "Many planets, like Dantooine, are just neutral. Planets like Coruscant, Corellia, places like that, are neutral. Other planets though, for reasons no one managed to comprehend yet, are aligned in the Force. Naboo and Alderaan for example are strong in the Light Side of the Force. Planets like Dagobah, where Master Yoda lives, and Geonosis or Mustafar are the complete opposite."

"That's interesting. To me it seems like the living conditions of the planet influence this thing."

"Not entirely true. Tatooine is a very harsh planet, but it's absolutely neutral in the Force." I told her. "Dxun is not that impossible to live in. it's just a huge jungle full of beasts and everyday it rains there, but it's not impossible. Still it was almost impossible for me the sleep there. I never concentrated much on the Force there, I didn't have the time, but it wasn't pleasant."

She nodded. "I see...well, that doesn't change the fact that you've been drinking enough coffee to send a bantha in hyperdrive. Stop or you won't sleep tonight."

I sighed. "Alright, I'll stop. But if I fall asleep on this table while we decide what to do tomorrow, well, it's your fault!"

"I'm ready to take the risk. Come on, or you will pace up and down the ship all night."

We spent the rest of the afternoon and evening, right through our dinner and even after that planning the next day. Drogheda was not far from Hoth's Brand, same sector, and according to the info on the datapad, was a monarchy. I had the feeling though that the Empire had not taken easily the new law that prohibited trading routes to pass by the system, thus including Imperial routes, and decided to act to defend their privileges. I wouldn't speak of rights, because from my point of view, they didn't have rights on any system of the Galaxy, but, you know, they held the power in that moment, and we had to keep a low profile, so I would never tell something like that in public.

Anyway...

We returned to the ship a couple of hours after dinner with a slightly risky plan, but we were ready to tryit.

The planet was rich and flourished under the careful attention of its governors for centuries. Its main activities revolved around mining, like most of the planets of the sector, but with some help from the slightly favorable position, the population had developed their knowledge of industrial engineering and they had formed one of the major industries who provided the equipment for the extraction operations in half the galaxy. I could bet they were that prosperous! All the industries that produced high-tech mining equipment had been nationalized centuries before.

The decision to ban highly trafficked commercial routes to run close to the system though could be a very smart move in order to get some privileges from other planets to let their commercial routes pass through their territories, but they had underestimated the Empire.

I doubt Sidious was interested in this kind of matters. He only cared about the power, he was the head of everything and he was OK with that. He stood in his palace, watching the Galaxy suffer his reign of terror. He took decisions about life and death matters, like wars, riots and stuff like that, but a tiny law in a tiny system of the Inner Rim, not even the Core Worlds? His bureaucrats could take care of that.

From we gathered from the news, they had sent a squadron of stormtroopers, roughly one hundred men, not including the commanders, and they had resolved the situation in a manner that ensured not only the free passage through their territories, but also unlimited and free equipment for the rest of the Empire life.

Not bad for them. Disastrous for Drogheda, but a great result for the Empire.

To ensure things would go straight and nice, they had left some of the contingent that had been deployed there, and they had taken residence in Drogheda Citadel.

It was a rather large fortress, placed on the top of a mountain, impossible to reach if not by aircraft. Pretty much invincible, or so they thought.

We found a map of the area, and we noticed that with some climbing, not even a very difficult one, on a cliff on the back of the fortress, one could easily enter from one of the sewers ducts that led straight to the lower levels of the building.

But after a closer inspection of the map, we noticed some irregular patterns in the rocks, and we discovered there were blaster cannons all over the cliff. Not a good point of entrance.

There was another way that seemed the most practicable: from the sky. The place was not only the residence of the kings and queens that succeeded during the thousands of years of the beginning of the monarchy. It was also a museum. It was opened for public visits. With a tad of diplomacy and luck, the locals might have kept it opened. Not all the quarters and levels were opened for the public, but it was enough for us. It would only take us a little further planning before we could get inside and snoop around, but we could do it.

That's why it took us so long to finish our plans and go back to our ship. We just had to pretend we were tourists, but it wasn't easy to get to know if the place was still opened or not. There were no updated news anywhere, so, in the end, extremely tired and slightly frustrated, we decided to go and see if it was opened the next morning.

It would have been a slightly annoying thing to do, most of all because we were sure we wouldn't find anything there, but, you know, if you have a lead, you have to follow it.

But, it seemed, fate decided things would have to go very wrong right from that evening.

I had noticed something was wrong with Padmè. I may not be the best observer in the world, but in the last year we had constantly been together, even if our meetings had been clandestine and when we were in public, we always had to control ourselves not to give hints of our relationship. Still, I had come to get to know her habits quite well. Things that had gone completely unnoticed during our first two years and half of our marriage.

Some tiny things like the fact that she rarely let me know when she didn't feel well. She just didn't show it. She held on until she felt better and stop. Once, last winter, I noticed she had caught the flu from one of the kids during the small epidemic we had three days after she had started feeling the symptoms. I noticed it one evening, hugging her, because I felt her temperature wasn't the usual. She had a slightly high fever that kept her in bed for the next three days.

I also noticed that she liked to hang out with our friends a lot. With the excuse of meeting the Jedi for "official" matters, Darrick, Aleha, Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, Padmè and I spent a lot of nights up till late hours just...fooling around, enjoying each other company after so many years pulled apart by the events that had destroyed everything be believed in.

She was an incredibly outgoing person, much more than what I had seen her during the war and before. She quickly adapted to our Jedi jargon and learned it too, sometimes showing us how quickly she could adapt to different situations.

She also enjoyed a drink or two during those nights out, something I was expecting that afternoon, after the race, and when she ordered a non alcoholic drink, I was a bit puzzled. Not that she didn't have the right to order whatever she wanted, it was just outside her routine. Just that.

But that evening something else was out of her routine. Usually, since we were slightly quicker than her, Obi-Wan and I showered before her so she had all the time to do whatever she wanted to. While Obi-Wan went meditating a bit in the cockpit, I waited for her laying in my bunk. I don't even remember what I was thinking about, probably something about the day ahead when I saw her storm out of the small bathroom, obviously irritated by something.

Something that was wrong.

"Hey, you OK?" of course she wasn't, but I wanted to hear it from her. I was getting really, really worried about her.

She shook her head. "No. I don't feel well. I don't know...I'm kind of exhausted and nauseated." she stuffed her things in her bag and sat on the edge of my bunk.

"Is it something you ate today?" I shifted and let her some space and she laid down beside me, snuggling closer as I hugged her.

"I don't know, probably that's the problem but...you know, two skull-splitting migraines in less than a week, now this, I don't really feel fine with it!"

I nodded. "Me neither. If you don't feel up to it, we can always go back to Dantooine, I already told you."

She shook her head and sighed. She was slightly paler than that afternoon and that got me even more worried. I couldn't stand the thought that the search for Jax was making her sick, someways. "No, we're already here. We have a lead. We can do it. It's just something I ate today, don't worry. I'll be fine."

I held her tight for a moment. "Alright. But tomorrow, you stay here. Obi-Wan and I will go looking for clues up there. You stay here and rest, OK?"

She leaned up and kissed me. "Alright. You know, I kind of like when you get worried around me. Or the kids. You're just so cute!"

She managed to tear up a smile from me. "Just cute?" I asked, teasing her.

"Oh, alright, you're more than cute. You're the best looking man in the galaxy! But I like your sweeter side. I think I fell in love with the tough guy, you know, the Jedi thing and everything, but now that I saw practically every side of you, I think I prefer this one!"

"Really?"

She nodded. "Absolutely. During the war there was no time for that, even we were together. Now that I saw this softer side of your personality, I don't think I can live without it."

"Now you're exaggerating! I doubt I'm that essential. You did great for eight years without."

"And I don't want to relive them. I already told you. For all those years it felt like I couldn't breathe. Like there was an invisible weight on my chest that suffocated me. And I don't want to feel that weight anymore."

I remained silent for a moment, just thinking about what she had just said. "I still don't know why I deserve someone like you." I replied.

She snuggled closer and laid her head on my chest, sighing. "You're special. And I think I've known it since the day I met you. And I am the one who should ask the same. I don't really know what I've done to deserve you!"

I held her close to me and reveled in the feeling of her closeness. Nothing in the whole Galaxy could be compared to it. Nothing.

"I might be special, but you have the incredible talent that allows you to actually bear my behavior. I doubt any other person except you could do the same." I replied. "By the way, how do you feel?"

She took a deep breath and sighed. "I don't know. I mean, I'm exhausted, I've had troubles sleeping for the last three days and now the nausea. I just hope it's the stress for the trip plus something I ate because I'm a little worried."

"As I am. Listen, tomorrow, Obi-Wan and I go and check the Citadel. You stay here and relax. And please, don't touch Jax's stuff for tomorrow. Just relax, oversleep, do anything you want. Call the kids or do a conference call with other high ranks of the Rebellion, but please, don't overtire yourself. Can you promise me that?"

Padmè nodded. "This time I think I'll do what you say. I'm not really up for a day out, tomorrow."

"Good. Now, sleep. We both need it." I kissed her forehead and flipped the switch of the light on the roof of the bunk off.

"Do you think Obi-Wan will..."

"He won't say a word if you sleep in my bunk tonight. Don't worry about it. Just close your eyes and let it go. If he has something to tell us, he'll do it tomorrow."

Well, he didn't have much to say next morning. Actually, he didn't say anything.

When I woke up, I noticed two things. First, the ship was moving. Probably Obi-Wan had told Artoo to take off for Drogheda at a certain time, whether we were awake or not. Second, Padmè was gone.

Groggily, I sat up straight and rubbed my face hard to wake up a little more. The low hum of the engine though was a sort of lullaby to me and I was a step away from falling asleep again.

It was only when Obi-Wan jumped off his bunk, nearly hitting me me, that I woke with a start.

"Woah, sorry! Didn't mean to scare you!" he said, a hint of drowsiness in his voice. "Slept well?"

I nodded. "Yep. Didn't even took me too much to fall asleep..." I held back a yawn and stood up. "Even though I'm a bit worried about Padmè."

"I can see that. What's going on?"

I sighed. "I don't really know. I fear she's suffering from the stress of being on the road in these conditions. She never had to stand this kind of situations, like us. We've been doing this for all our lives, she never had to travel like this!"

He agreed. "Definitely. Even when we were hiding, in the first few months after the Empire, we always maintained a certain level of comfort, not like this! This is pretty much the same situation situation we are very used to!"

"She's not a Jedi, she's not trained for this kind of stuff."

"Do you think it would be better if we returned to Dantooine?"

I shook my head. "She doesn't want to. I already asked her. But today we go alone. She stays here and rests for a couple of hours while we're looking for clues in the Citadel."

"Good idea. It's probably just the jet lag. She'll be fine in a couple of days."

"I hope so. I swear, if she doesn't get better in four days, we're getting back to Dantooine. I don't care how close we are to find Jax, she comes first."

He smiled, briefly. "I've never seen you so worried in my life!"

I chuckled. "What can I do? She's my wife, I can't stand the though she could be sick and trying to stand strong only for me. I'm done with being selfish and everything. She's not OK? We'll head back home in a split second. And I don't care if I'll have more dreams or visions about Jax."

"Be careful though. We've left only because of your dreams. We don't know what would happen if we abandon our chase."

I shrugged my shoulders. "Jax is one of my best friends. I get it, but I can't afford to risk my wife's health just because he's too worried about the mess the Rebellion is making to try and find shelter with us and..."

Just before I could finish my sentence, Padmè appeared in the doorway that led to the cockpit. "He has a daughter though. A girl he doesn't even know she exists. Not to mention Aleha. And you know pretty well how it feels to be far away from the person you love, don't you?"

I had to agree. She was right. He had to know at least he had a child. I knew all too well how it felt to be far away from your family, I couldn't just leave him to his destiny and not let him know about Hilean. That was too damn important. No one deserves to be kept from knowing about the fact he has a son or a daughter. No one. And both Hilean and Aleha deserved to have him back too.

"I know. It's just that you are more important, at least to me. By the way, how do you feel?"

"Can you ask me another question? I don't really want to think about how I feel this morning."

Well, that day didn't start well. And it ended even worse.

Roughly an hour later, Artoo brough the ship down to a local spaceport not too far from the Citadel. I was incredibly worried, but we had decided to do it, so, well, Obi-Wan and I prepared for our scouting mission. Not that we had to do much, but we thought that it would be nice to use one of those gadgets Lysveet had given us before we left. The in-ear comlink system would have kept us always in contact without having to use other kind of devices. That thing was so tiny, I had some troubles even turning it on! Not to mention wearing it!

Anyway, when we left the ship, we were able to communicate and not let others hear our conversation, as it happens with normal comlinks. I would never thank Lysveet enough for that thing.

Once we set foot on the planet's surface, we noticed how different it was from the two others we had visited in that sector. Drogheda was still the typical busy planet with huge masses of people going up and down in the streets, but the average wealth was slightly higher here than the rest of the sector, and the wealthiness of its inhabitants was mirrored even in the streets. The buildings were richly decorated, there were big squares with statues and monuments practically everywhere on the way to the Citadel, almost every window had a set of exotic flowers and plants on its sill. The city was colorful and cheerful, as much as the people who lived there.

Totally a different ambient.

And I fear all that stuff made us lower our level of attention.

We arrived at the foot of the mountain on which the Citadel was built. A small contingent of soldiers, locals fortunately, guarded what seemed to be the entrance. Or, at least, the place where visitors and workers could catch a lift up.

Obi-Wan briefly talked with one of them, probably the higher in ranks and we were granted a transport to the Citadel. Fortunately for us, the Imperial occupation hadn't changed the habits. Parts of the Citadel were still open for visitors and we were told they were waiting for a lot of people that day. Well, that would only help us.

We had to wait roughly half an hour before a rather large group formed and we were granted entrance to the Citadel. One of the visitors even asked why we were there and Obi-Wan quickly answered that we were architects traveling around the Galaxy in order to see as many important or historically relevant buildings we could or stuff like that. Thank the Force he was such a good liar, or we would already be in huge troubles.

Well, there's not much to say about that part of our "mission". We tried to mix with the crowd as much as we could, and at the first chance, we remained back from the group, aided by a rather dark corner, and remained alone.

"Now, what do we do?" I asked then, when we were sure to be alone.

"I don't know. We should take a look around and then try to find any possible clue of Jax's passage here."

"If I were there, I would check the main computer, just in case he downloaded some files!" came Padmè's voice through the comlink, even if disturbed by some nasty static charges.

"Good idea." I said pulling my lightsaber out of my jacket and placing it in the right pocket. "But I fear it might be dangerous."

"Hey, we didn't come here to have a nice touristic view of the city, did we?" he replied, making me smile.

"Alright, let's get down to business."

With that said, we turned into a dark hallway and I let Obi-Wan lead the way. He was seemingly following his instinct, or, knowing him, the lead of the Force. I still needed some training to do that, roaming around and follow the guide of the Force to my goal, but, heck, some years later, I swear I managed to do it! Fortunately.

Anyway, I digress, as usual. Let's get back to our tale.

We walked around the place for a while, keeping eyes and ears opened and careful, in order to avoid unpleasant Imperial meetings. We had to stop and hide a couple of times, as we were walking deeper into the Citadel. Once, we had to stay motionless in the dark for a couple of minutes, before we could move again. If we had listened to what those troopers were saying, maybe we would have spared us a lot of troubles and pains.

It took us a while to find the main computer room. It was deep in the Citadel, probably more than a few levels underground. That wasn't good for a possible need to run away, but of course they didn't design it to be easy either to reach and to leave. It was a couple of levels above the throne room, which was even more protected and it took a rather long time to reach it.

"Hey, you two, are you OK?" came Padmè voice.

"Yes we are, don't worry." I replied.

"I'm not worried, you were just too silent for my tastes. I want to know what's going on!"

"We're walking down a dark hallway, that's what we're doing! Are you getting bored?" I asked her, chuckling.

"A bit. I wish I could be there with you. I'd be more helpful there."

"Don't worry about it. How do you feel?" asked Obi-Wan as he opened the door of the main computer room using the Force to jam the lock. He was a bit worried about here too.

"I'm fine don't worry. Once I managed to eat something, nausea passed. I'm fine now."

I took a long, relieved breath. At least that.

We entered the room and I closed the door behind me and remained close to it, in case I heard someone incoming, while Obi-Wan sat down at the main console and started flipping through files and stuff.

It didn't take long to get access to the restricted part of the hard disk, where all the access records were stored.

"Did you find anything?" I asked him a while later.

"Give me a moment Anakin, I'm not an hacker, at least not as good as would like to be!"

"Sorry, I just...I don't know something isn't right here."

"I know, I'm trying to get what we need fast, I feel it too." he said typing as fast as he could.

"It's...I don't know, it's something dark, I could feel it when we were on the surface."

"Me neither, that's why I don't like it." he mumbled. "Here, I've got something!"

I strode towards him and leaned forward to look at the screen. "What?"

"Here." he pointed at the screen to a certain line. A log in line. "This. It's a six days old log in. I looked at this particular session because it's out of ordinary. Someone logged in during the night, I checked three weeks and no one ever did so. I think this is Jax."

"What was he looking for?"

"He checked mostly data about the Imperial occupation here. And from what I see, the Empire didn't occupy this system because of the trade routes. They're going to use this system as a base for a campaign against rioting planets all around here. And they're a lot apparently!"

"Damn... they're tightening their hold on the Galaxy!"

"That's it. After that, he managed to get in here, it's an encrypted space I can't enter, I don't know what he was looking for in there."

"It's a rather new sector, barely one month old...it coincides to the Imperial occupation."

"Probably it's the sector they created for their stuff. I'd really like to enter here, but I can't. Are you able to decrypt 64bits encryption keys?"

I shook my head. "I'm good, but not that good."

"Did you bring the remote control system Lysveet gave us?" asked Padmè from the ship.

"No, I forgot it. I guess we're over here." I stated.

Obi-Wan nodded. "Most probably. We traveled all the way up here for nothing!"

"Well, not exactly." I corrected him. "Open that folder, the one under the Imperial stuff on the list."

He did it and a long list of files appeared on the screen. They were logs of the ships that arrived and left at the Citadel since the occupaton. He scrolled it until I told him to stop. There was a file called _Iqt: S.D. Deploy Force. _

"Open it."

What we read sent a cold, scary shiver down our spines. Literally.

Sahn Dalan was there. He had arrived three days before.

"What the fuck!" I cursed louder than what I had intended.

"We must get out of here. Fast!" snapped my Master, quickly closing all opened files and folders and standing up.

"What's going on?" asked Padmè, her voice was slightly worried.

"Dalan is here. We must get out of here!" I replied.

"Too late, Master Skywalker."

I froze there, fear chilling me on spot. I didn't even need to turn around. I knew Dalan was there, I could feel it, even if I had never met him.

"Please, would you like to slowly take your lightsabers out of your pockets and hand them over? Of course after you've turned to face us."

We could do nothing but obey. Slowly, we turned around and saw him and his thugs, all harmed with blasters AND lightsabers at their belts. He stood on the doorstep, clad in a leathery flight suit and a dark, maroon cape. At his belt, I could see his own lightsaber. He was not known for how he used it, but still, there were enough opponents to turn down any attempt to escape at that point.

Fuck. We were trapped.

"What's going on?" asked Padmè. Fortunately they couldn't hear her. "Anakin, Obi-Wan, what's going on?"

"Sahn Dalan, I presume?" asked Obi-Wan. It was a way to let Padmè know we were in troubles.

She didn't speak anymore for a long, long while.

"Yes, Master Kenobi. It's a pleasure to meet you." he was getting to my nerves, being so polite. "Now, would you mind handing your lightsabers?"

We did. He grasped them and tucked them safely in his cloak pocket. "Good, now, please, put your hands behind your head and follow us."

Again, we couldn't do anything.

Two of his men grabbed us, one for each, and led us out of the room.

Roughly five minutes and six levels later, we were escorted to the detention level and pushed inside one of the cells.

"Now I have more important things to do but in a matter of fifteen minutes I should be free as a bird, and I would like to talk to one of you."

The smile on his face made me think he was up to something nasty. And I knew how nasty the Imperials could be with prisoners. I feared they would torture us, no matter what...

I had to do something. I...I couldn't afford Obi-Wan to be hurt. Or worse. He was too important while I...

"I'm coming. If you don't mind Sir, obviously." I snapped.

"No Anakin I'm..."

I stopped him. "Don't worry Master. I can deal with him."

Dalan nodded. "Good. I've always wanted to talk to you, Master Skywalker. Just give me a few minutes and I'm all yours. My men here will keep you company." with that, he turned and walked away towards the entrance of the level.

I was dragged out of the cell, which was promptly closed with Obi-Wan inside. They drove me to another room. As soon as the door was opened. I knew what they had in mind.

I had been through it for seven, dreadful years.

* * *

_OK, even this one is done. It's getting nasty, I know, but I wanted a darker edge to this story, most of all the central part of Red Rain will be really, really dark, or at least I'll try to make it that way. There will be a couple of outtakes for The Missing Moments too, and you will...well, I think I'd better keep it for me a while longer. You'll see in a couple of weeks. _

_Anyway, I'm having a Star Wars overdorse. Yesterday I got my bluray boxset and it's freaking awesome! I'm watching Empire Strikes Back and...I mean, with all the problems they could have, the restoration is pretty much amazing, considering the age of the original material. Fantastic! I can't wait to watch Return Of The Jedi!_

_So...see ya guys!_

_Ps. Before I forget, Ale, thank for the nice chat the other day! It helped a lot!_


	21. Sledgehammer

_A.N. I'm not going into graphic details, it's not my style, but as some of you probably guessed, Anakin is not going to have a nice chat with Dalan's thugs. At all. So, beware, if you don't like violence, explicit or implicit it doesn't matter, even psychological violence, be aware that this chapter is not your cup of tea, definitely. I just wanted to warn you, just in case. _

_And, secondly, I must warn you I'm one of those who think Episode III cover a time frame of months, not days. Therefor, what Anakin says when he speaks to Dalan (sorry for the minor spoiler guys) and he talks about days, it's because I am one of those who sustain the "months" theory, if we want to call it that way. That's all._

* * *

**Chapter 21 – Sledgehammer**

It felt like being locked up all over again.

It didn't take me long to realize what they were going to do to me, as soon as I noticed the handcuffs hanging from the ceiling, bound to the roof with a thick durasteel chain. Two cuffs for the ankles were linked to the floor too, just underneath the others.

I knew what they were used for. I had seen countless of times.

As Dalan's thugs pushed me inside, I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. I wasn't expecting any kind of miracle, but that simple gesture helped me. I just needed to gather enough courage not to snap there and then and kill all of them, strangling or crushing them on the wall. Because that's what I wanted to do in that very moment. And that wouldn't have been the best thing to do, considering what kind of situation.

Fortunately, I was calm enough not to do anything stupid, even if I was going to be in a hell of a lot of pain after that. I was sure.

My prediction was sadly true.

I was up for another beat up, and there was nothing I could have done to prevent it. I couldn't say anything that would stop them. So I let them do what they had been ordered.

One of them tied my wrists with the cuffs hanging from the ceiling, then my ankles. Thank the Force I was wearing my combat boots and not shoes that day, or some nasty friction wounds would have added to those I was about to be inflicted. The chain hanging from the ceiling was long enough to let me hang a little in case I had problems standing by, but not long enough to make me stand on my knees. Bad news. If I had lost balance for some reason, all my weight would have been supported by my wrists, and that, for personal experience, is not a good thing. The chains that bound me to the floor were rather short, probably a foot long each. They were there to prevent me for kicking them.

Once I had been secured to the floor and ceiling, the man backed up against the wall at my left, ready to enjoy the show.

"So..." started one of them, slowly walking around me. "We heard a lot about you, Skywalker."

I said nothing, determined not to let them hear my voice, not even as they tortured me.

"Hey guys, he looks braver than we thought." he said at his friends, laughing. "Let's see if this Jedi is really up to the Legend! Let's see if he's really the Hero With No Fear!"

I didn't even notice him. One of the five men in the room had walked up behind me and hit me, hard at the level of my kidneys. One of the most painful points of the human body to hit with blunt force.

I winced a bit, most of all for the surprise, but managed to remain as silent as a tomb.

"Oh well, he knows how to take a punch, but let's see if..." and a bone-crushing jab hit me straight on my jaw. The punch made my neck bend to an incredibly painful degree. This wasn't going to end well for me.

But still, I emitted no sound, I just stared at the man in front of me, trying not to show if they were hurting me or not.

"Hey boss, that was a good punch!"

The man in front of me sneered and shook his hand, obviously hurting from the collision with my face. "Yeah, it was a good one. But this one is tough. Mackker, come here."

One that had been standing by the door since it had been closed stepped forward towards us. He was a mountain of muscles, one of those guys literally born to be a brawler. From the pan to the fire.

"Let's see if you can make him scream in pain Mack." stated the boss of the situation. "Do your best."

From that moment on, it was nothing but pain for me. That man was terribly skilled at inflicting pain to others.

I knew both Obi-Wan and Padmè could hear everything that was going on in that room, and I didn't want to scream most of all because of her. But I could hear her, through the in-ear transmitter. She was crying, I could hear it clearly and it was breaking my heart. Each time he hit me, I could hear her sobbing from the other side, until a powerful blow threw the small thing out of my ear and I was cut off from the rest of them. And it was better that way, because if I had heard what Padmè had in mind, well, I can't assure I would have kept such a good behavior from that moment on.

That man, Mack, he kept beating me like I was a punching sack.

In less than five minutes, I was bleeding from more cuts I could count. I had really a hard time trying not to scream in pain, most of all when a well placed punch at the solar plexus literally knocked the breath out of me. I was gasping for breath for at least a minute after that, and fortunately, he was kind enough to let me catch it.

"Hey, Jedi, why don't you show us one of your tricks? I'm sure you could set yourself free if you only wanted!"

Still panting, I ignored him and kept staring at him, even if, at that point, I could barely hold my head up. Actually, I could barely see from my left eye. A powerful blow had split my eyebrow and blood was oozing down the wound straight into my eye, partially blinding me.

"What happened Jedi?" continued the boss. "You lost your tongue? Mack here made you swallow it? What happened to the Hero of the Republic?"

Still nothing. His words were just empty to me. I didn't care what they said about me, they were nothing but minor inconvenience to me. The fact that, for the sake of both Obi-Wan and Padmè I had to remain calm and say or do nothing, didn't change the fact that they were useless pawn in a game bigger than anyone in the Galaxy.

"He's just Jedi scum, what to you expect from him?" asked one of the others behind me.

"Oh well, considering his fame, I thought he would at least try to defend himself!" and with that, he delivered a crushing knee strike straight to my chest, cracking some ribs and possibly breaking one or two of them.

This time, I let out a muffled groan, while spitting up some blood. "Is this the best you can do?" I taunted them. "When I was in prison, your colleagues were far more skilled in hurting me!"

"Oh finally we hear your voice! Now...what did you say?"

"I said..." I spit some more blood to the ground. "I said that I've been hurt worse when I was in prison. Is this the best you can do?"

"You're challenging us?" he asked. "I mean, you're definitely in no position to do such a thing, and you're challenging us to hurt you? Are you crazy?"

"Possibly...but, you know, I'm a Jedi, I must be crazy, in a way or another."

Mercilessly, he punched me again, hard, splitting my upper lip. "You're crossing a dangerous line here!"

"As if I'm not used to a little pain!"

He lifted his fist to hit me again, but the door opened with a low hiss and one of Dalan's men, one of those who had followed him when he had left. "Bors, stop that. The Inquisitor wants him alive, he's useless if you kill or maim him!"

The boss let his fist drop and gave me a tiny pat on my bloody cheek and smiled. "You're lucky my boss wants you, or I would have taken the pleasure to collect the bounty on your head myself." then he stood up and gestured to the others. "Release him!"

The guy that had tied me obeyed and released the handcuffs so quickly I fell on the ground, hard, on my left shoulder. The sudden impact of the joint with the hard cement floor didn't end well. I heard, before I felt, the humerus snap out of its socket, the bones grinding against one another caused a jolt of sharp pain shoot through my whole body.

Dislocated shoulder.

For the third time. Apparently, the precedent damage of the two other dislocations had left my shoulder prone to further and painful damages.

I couldn't help but scream in pain. That was too much. I could bear a beat up, it wasn't the first time after all I had been beaten like that, or worse, but that, it was just as bad as I remembered it. It felt like a thousand blaster shots exploded right in my shoulder. The pain cut my breath off, as sharp as it was.

"Oh well, finally we managed to make you scream!" laughed Bors, pulling my at the hem of my shirt so I was standing up. "Now go, Dalan wants to see you."

Grimacing for the pain and the anger, I followed the man that had unlocked the bindings and that now was pulling my right arm so I would follow him. No need to say I wasn't in the condition to try anything foolish against them or Dalan.

They conducted me to another room. It looked more like an interrogation room, there were a table and two chairs in the middle of the room. The man roughly pushed me down on one of the chairs and was about to tie again my hands to the metallic structure, but as he noticed the conditions of my left arm, decided to leave that free. He had a bit of common sense, at least that.

After he had bound my legs to the chair, he left and closed the door behind him

I was left alone there for I don't know how long. I used that time to check the damages. Other than the dislocated shoulder and the cracked ribs, the most important injuries, my right eye was swollen and it hurt like hell. The punch that had split the skin over the eyebrow had also caused a large bruise. I had cuts and bruises all over my face, most of all the right eyebrow, which was still bleeding, upper lip and the bridge of my nose. I moved my neck to check for further injuries, but it seemed fine. Except for the headache, everything seemed in its place.

The skin of my wrists was bruised and broken by the cuffs, as I breathed I could feel the damaged ribs grate against one another, causing me a sharp but bearable pain. The real problem at the moment was my shoulder. With my right arm blocked, I couldn't place it back in its socket as I had been taught to by the merciful doctor of the prison. That man had taken care of me for seven years, he was more a friend than a medic. Anyway...

It hurt like hell. Somehow, it hurt worse than when Dooku had cut my arm. Lightsaber cuts are immediately cauterized by the heat of the blade itself. It burns nerve endings so they don't work anymore and you don't feel much pain, but that...

I was trying to get my forearm to rest on my lap without causing anymore injuries when the door behind me opened. I turned around enough to see Dalan enter, holding a datapad in his hands. He carelessly threw it on the table and sat down in front of me.

For a moment, no one said anything, we just remained there, staring at one another. He was smiling. Damn it, I hated when my enemies smiled. Really, I hated it. It reminded me of Sidious' treachery.

"So...look who's here. Prisoner 100389 himself, escaped from Blenjeel Imperial Prison two years, two months and seventeen days ago! Alive and well! We though you had been killed in the Daltarra accident!"

And they called it an accident? "Seems like you were wrong!"

"Oh, sometimes it happens." he remained silent for a moment. "It's such a pleasure to meet you Master Skywalker. You cannot imagine."

Not that I really wanted to. "Why am I here?"

"Oh, don't worry. I have no intention to kill you Master Skywalker. You can relax. I just want to talk to you for a while, ask you some questions, before I send you and Master Kenobi to Coruscant."

I said nothing, I just kept staring at him with my sane eye.

"You know, I've always looked at you like a sort of special man. I followed your deeds on the holonet everyday and it was a true wonder seeing how you commanded those troops with such a ease. That's why I'm keeping you here for a while. To satisfy my curiosity." his voice was calm, his Coruscanti accent was rather prominent, it made him sound almost a nice guy. His clean face showed nothing of the evil he was known for. And it terrified me.

"What if I don't want to answer you?"

He raised his hands. "No problem. This is not official. This is just you and me getting acquainted. That's all. You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"Thank you." I mumbled.

"My pleasure. Now, is there something you want to know before we start?" he asked.

"May I ask you a favor?"

"If it doesn't imply letting you go, you may."

"Your men, back in the cell, they were rather rough on me and my left shoulder is dislocated. It hurts like hell. Can you put it back in?"

He shook his head. "Of course I can!" he stood and walked over. "I'm so sorry for this inconvenience, they shouldn't have hurt you like that."

He took my arm and twisted it a couple of times with expert hands, as if he reduced dislocated joints for a living, and the bones snapped back in their place. After a moment of sharp pain that made me groan a couple of times, it subsided to a bearable level.

"Better?" he asked, extremely polite.

I nodded. "Yes, thank you." thanking my enemy...damn, I had never been that low in my own life.

"Do you think an icepack would make you feel a little better?"

"It would, but don't disturb your men for something like that. I'm fine now."

"Oh, you're not disturbing at all. I'll call them at once." he opened the door and talked to one of the men outside, then he waited there for no more than a minute, while the man returned with an icepack. "Here. It should alleviate the pain." he handed the pack and sat down again.

"Thank you." well, it was right. The pack instantly numbed the pain.

"You're welcome. Now, can I start?"

"Go ahead, but I can't assure you I'll answer all of your questions." I told him.

"You have all the rights to remain silent. I don't like the Imperial interrogation system, it's uncivilized to say the least. Now, now...Let's see. How old are you now?"

What kind of question was that? "I'll be thirty two in a couple of months."

He was slightly surprised by my answer. "Oh, I though you were a lot older! By the fame you had gained, I though you were at least my age!"

"And that would be?"

"Forty five." he chuckled. "I know, I'm old. But what can I do? No one can stop time from flowing. Alright, now, tell me, what were you doing in Pavan's apartment roughly ten days ago?"

"It wasn't me." I lied.

"Yes it was." he said, quite matter-of-factly. "We have the security cameras footage that confirmed your identity, as well as Master Kenobi's and former Senator Amidala's. Unfortunately for you, you didn't have the time to delete the disks."

Crap. That was everything that came up in my mind.

"So, would you please explain why you were there?" he asked again, this time there was a slight convincing note in his voice.

I took a deep breath and winced. "We were looking for him."

He nodded and took note on his datapad. "Good. That's what I was thinking myself." he flipped through the pages absentmindedly for a minute, then returned his attention to me. "And why would you be looking for him?"

"That's something I don't really want to tell you."

He nodded. "And I respect your decision. Could you at least give me a hint? Is he your friend or something?"

I think my stare betrayed me. Or probably he noticed something changing on my face beneath all the blood. I don't know. Still, even if I didn't reply, he nodded and scribbled other stuff on the pad.

"How long have you been friends?" he asked then.

There was no need to lie anymore at that point. That man could read me like an open book. I was now understanding why he had me beaten up like that. To lower my defenses, both physical and psychological.

"Since I was nine and he was ten. We grew up together."

"Oh yes, long lasting friendship then...and, why did you decide to go looking for him right now?"

"It's none of your damn business..." I spat out, slightly angry.

He didn't say anything, he just kept staring at me with his exceptionally empty eyes. A strange smile appeared on his face then, and he leaned back on his chair, while he wrote down something on his pad. He was taking notes about my reactions, I knew it.

"Master Skywalker, there's no need to be rude. We're just talking, I don't want to hurt you!"

"You had me beaten by your men..." I replied, as cold as I could be.

"Oh, that's just the procedure. If I hadn't done it, my boss would have been incredibly displeased. And, to be completely sincere, it's not that I like having someone commanding me too much. He's a fool, to say the least. I don't want him chasing me for breaking the protocol."

"Oh, great, you're worried about the protocol now! A Sith worried about the protocol." I sneered and sighed. "This doesn't make sense at all!"

For the first time since the beginning of our "talk", he diverted his eyes from mine.

"I'm not a Sith, Master Skywalker." he said. "And I'm sorry you think I am one of them. It seems you don't know much about me."

"You hunt down and kill Jedi. You use the Dark Side of the Force as a weapon, you're part of the Inquisitorius, the special police dedicated to destroy what remains of the Jedi Order and prevent Force Sensitive beings from use their gift by scaring or killing them! You are the best of your kind, they even nicknamed you _The Jedi Hunter_ for that!" I listed everything I knew about him and his kind, and I was almost growling. I didn't want to shout, because I feared I would hurt myself, but I wanted to. I wanted to shout it as loud as I could.

It was his time to sneer and be angry. "That name doesn't mean anything to me. I despise it. I don't hunt down anyone, I look for them. I'm a detective Master Skywalker, and a very good one, if you allow me. I've always been a detective, for all my life. Before the Empire discovered I was Force Sensitive, I worked in the Coruscant Office for Crimes against the person. I looked for criminals, and I was the best, because I could use the Force, even if only on an subconscious level. If your Order would have found me when I was a kid I would have been one of your kind." he said, cold as a stone, but deep down I could feel the turmoil in him. "When Malorum came to my door and asked me to become one of his agents, well, I couldn't refuse. Double pay, the occasion to use my gift, as you called it, and to get away from low life and stupid crimes without consequences. All I do is a job. I do nothing else than my job, as much as you did yours. With very scarce effects if I may add."

"You're trained to the use of the Dark Side. From my point of view, that makes you a Sith."

He shook his head. "That's part of the job. And please, don't confuse a Dark Side user for a Sith. There's a huge difference there." the turmoil had stopped, as if he had pushed his emotions away from that room.

"Care to explain me what it should be?"

"Of course, Master Skywalker. You see, a Sith is a Force Sensitive person who follows a certain code of conduct. I guess you know the story of the Tribe from Korriban, the fratricide wars and then Darth Bane and the Rule Of Two, am I right?"

I nodded. "Yes, of course I know it."

"Good. Those are the Siths. They follow a certain code, as much as you Jedi followed yours. And some points coincides, even if it might sound strange. Anyway, A Sith is very easy to define, they are the anti-Jedi, they do as they please, they are twisted and...well, they're not very nice to deal with. Sidious is a Sith. Vader is a Sith. Dooku was a Sith, even if I have some doubts about him. But, for example, Asajj Ventress wasn't."

"Why?"

"Because she didn't follow any kind of conduct code. She did as she wanted. She used the Dark Side of the Force as a weapon, and she was very good at that, but that didn't make her a Sith. Dooku never trained her to their ways. She didn't blindly obey to him. She actually questioned his authority quite often, most of all after what happened after your meeting on Yavin." and I didn't even want to know how he actually knew about our battle there. "She was a sort of...how did you call them...Dark Jedi! That's the term!"

I was slowly coming to understand what he meant. Those were very narrow differences, but substantial nonetheless.

He sat up straight, as if to mark his point.

"Now, I use the Dark Side of the Force, but not always. Actually, I found out that I rarely lean on the training I was given at the very beginning of my career as an Inquisitor. I follow my instinct, which is the same as following the Force. This is what brought me here, while looking for Pavan. Unfortunately I was two days late. But today, when I was about to pack my things and return to Coruscant, then I was warned someone had entered in the restricted part of the Citadel and was trying to hack into the main computer. Then I found you, and, well, I really couldn't let the chance to collect an astronomical amount of money from the Imperial bounty on your heads."

I said nothing. There was nothing to say, at least not from me.

He studied my reaction to his words carefully, before leaning back again and sigh. "You know, I really, really admire you. A man with such a strong connection with the Dark Side that keeps such a control over himself, I really must bow at you, Master Skywalker."

"I made mistakes in my life. Everyone does. That doesn't make me closer to the Dark Side than anyone in this galaxy." It was a huge lie, but what did I have to say? I needed to defend myself, someways.

"Oh I'm not talking about mistakes. I'm talking about you. As a man, as a being. Your life depended on the Dark Side, you have a strong connection with it."

I didn't really understand what he was talking about. "What do you mean?"

He changed expression, from calm and at ease to stupefied. "What? You don't know your origins?"

"I was born somewhere in the Outer Rim. My mother raised me on Tatooine, under ownership of Gardulla the Hutt until I turned four and then under the ownership of Watto, until Master Jinn came and took me to Coruscant. That's all I need to know about my origins."

"And you never asked who your father was?"

"Of course I did, but I never received an answer! And now I don't even think it matters anymore!"

"Oh, it matters! It matters quite a lot, because it defines who you are! But...I thought Sidious had this conversation with you before! He told me so!"

"I had many conversations with him in my life but none concerned my father!" I snapped.

"But..." he drummed his fingers on the armrest of his chair. "I was sure..."

"Oh, come on! Tell me what you know and we'll be even!"

"Hey, calm down Skywalker! I'm trying to be nice here, you're not making it easy!"

I was getting really angry with him. He had touched quite a hard subject, and I didn't like his tone. I said nothing though. I didn't want to see him angry. I feared how he could act if angry.

"Oh, that's better. Now where was I...ah yes, your origins! I assume he told you about his Master."

I shook my head. "Not that I recall. He once told me about a Sith Master, Darth...Plagueis the Wise he called him."

"That's him. What do you remember about that day?"

"Not much, I had other things in mind that day...it was roughly a week after I had been nominated Jedi Master. He called me at the Opera House, he wanted to speak to me. I think that was the last attempt to lure me to the Dark Side, because he spoke about this Sith Lord who could prevent people from dying. The only problem was that my nightmares had already stopped by that time and I was a lot more stable and calm. That's all. I didn't ask how he knew about this story, he didn't say anything."

Dalan looked at me for a moment. "Oh, well in that case, I understand. You see, ten days ago, when our face identification software recognized your faces in the CC cameras, I realized I needed to know more about you. The official records were full of deleted and incomplete files and fake stuff, pretty much useless. Even with my access level to Imperial databases, which is pretty high, I could only access to your file in Blenjeel prison. Therefor, I asked an audition of the Emperor, which was granted me right away, considering the subject of my request and we had the chance to talk quite a lot."

"Yes, he's a very eloquent man."

He nodded. "And a hideous one. I mean, not only his face but his presence too. I felt sick for all the time of my stay in his office. I could have thrown up right there, if it hadn't been an official meeting with the Emperor."

I must say that, even after so many years, I'm still quite stupefied by that remark. It just seemed out of the character I thought he was.

"What did he tell you?"

"Well, we talked for hours. Most of all, I asked questions, and he politely answered, even though his voice gave me the creeps. When I asked about you, he started a lengthy speech about your incredible abilities, how much time he spent trying to have you on his side, how much he's displeased with Vader and what kind of plans he had in mind for you. And he said something strange about your father."

"I don't know who my father is, how could he?"

"Well, he actually talked about a how, not a who." ha stated, always as calm as a stone.

"What do you mean how? Except for some particular species, it takes a female and a male to conceive another being, and humans don't make an exception."

"I know perfectly well what you mean, I have two teenage children myself, I definitely know how humans reproduce, but here we're talking about a more...metaphysical happening. His Master, Darth Plagueis, was able to dominate midichlorians to control life and death and, he manipulated them so well, he actually managed to force them to create a new life form. And, to be more specific, you."

That didn't make sense. Or did it?

"What do you mean? It's nonsense, how could he?"

"I guess he had such a knowledge of the Force that he could have done it, or you wouldn't be here. Have you ever thought about the incredibly high your midichlorian count is? Oh, by the way, do you know the exact number?"

"Twenty seven thousands and seven hundred, more or less. They had to upgrade the machine they used to test me when I was at the Temple because the scale went up to twenty three thounsands."

"So your count is ten thousands units per cell higher than Master Yoda, you know that?"

"Of course I do."

"And did you know that when he was found by the Jedi Order, roughly nine hundred years ago, they thought he could have been the Chosen One mentioned in the Prophecy, but lately discovered he couldn't have?"

"Why?" I asked. I didn't know about that story, but I was more worried about what he was about to say. There was a dreadful thought that was making its way from the back of my mind, which I tried to smother in any way but it was impossible.

"Because he had both a mother, and a father, and they were both known and confirmed. The Prophecy clearly states that the Chosen One must be born from virgin birth. And, if I am not mistaken, you are the specific, probably the unique case, of such a thing in the whole Galaxy."

It felt like every word he spoke was a slab of durasteel placed on my chest. It was getting harder and harder to breathe, almost impossible. What he had just said was hideous. I couldn't believe it, but it was logical and easy to explain. It made sense. My mother incapability to reveal the true identity of my father, my exceptionally high midichlorian count, my astounding ability and...my strong link to the Dark Side.

It was such a logical explanation no one had ever thought about it.

I was born right out of the Dark Side.

A Sith was my deputy father, somehow. My nemesis' Master nonetheless.

"I'm not the Chosen One, Dalan. Master Jinn was wrong. I have nothing in common with the figure described by the Prophecy."

"Master Skywalker, how low is your self esteem!" he said, rather amused, by the tone of his voice.

"It's not a matter of self esteem. I simply know I'm not the Chosen One. I can't be! I'm not even half of the Jedi my Master is, how could I be the Chosen One?" in that moment I felt nothing but a freak of nature.

"_And in the time of greatest despair there shall come a savior, and he shall be known as the Son of the Suns"_ He quoted from the Journal of the Whills itself. "Master Skywalker, please, you were raised on Tatooine, a planet with two suns, and you were born out of the Dark Side but trained as a Jedi. That's pretty much the story of your life."

"It can't be true." I said. I was clenching my fists so tight my knuckles were all white, and both my arms, even the healthy one, hurt like hell.

"You're free not to believe me, but, I let me tell you, you are bound to turn to the Dark Side. It's in your very nature. Probably you've been using it all your life without knowing it."

"I am not bound to turn. Those days are over! I've changed, you Imperials did change me"

He chuckled again, but it sounded more like that kind of smothered laughter used to mock your adversay. Dooku was a master at that kind of thing. "Anakin, please, don't be fooled. You're still the same man as ten years ago. You're only a bit better at controlling your emotions, still I can feel the anger rising in you. Even now. Your anger is deeply rooted in you, in your essence, you cannot live without it. You were born a Sith, it's just a matter of accepting it!"

"I am not a Sith..." I growled. He was right, I was getting angry, but only because of him. I wasn't angry at life itself anymore. "I am not one of your kind."

"Your voice betrays you, Master Skywalker. Your face, too. You are one of us, since you believe every Dark Side user is a Sith, you just need to realize it. It is you destiny, Anakin, you will turn to the Dark Side, either you want it, or not!"

I couldn't take it anymore. His words were like blaster shots straight into my soul. I couldn't stand them. With strength and power I thought were not possible considering my current conditions, I broke the restraints and threw the table out of my way. Using the Force, I grabbed the hem of his jacket and lifted him from his seat.

"I am not turning to the Dark Side!" I shouted. "I will never, never join the Empire, I'm not becoming a Sith. I sworn to myself I would either die than turn to the Dark Side."

Even though my ribs hurt like hell, I was screaming as I pushed him back against the wall behind him. And was I finished, I was completely out of breath.

Dalan burst out in laughs. "That's what I wanted to see! That's the spirit! Unleash your wrath! Hurt me, maim me, kill me! Give into your hate! Can't you see? This is the only solution!"

I was about to choke him to death, I really would have loved to do it, but...

I couldn't.

I just couldn't. It would have gone against anything I had just said.

No, I wouldn't kill him. It wasn't my way anymore. I had learned the lesson from the Tusken Camp, I didn't want another life taken on my account. And most of all, I wouldn't give him the satisfaction to see me give into my anger and kill him.

Carelessly, I dropped him down and stepped back.

He stood up straight and dusted his pants off. "Ah, Master Skywalker...You disappoint me!" he laughed. "The Emperor would have been pleased to know you had tried to kill me, before I turned you in!"

"I told you..." I panted, painfully. "I am not like you."

"You will become one of us. I can assure you."

I was about to push him back hard but he preceded me, literally throwing me against the wall behind me. I hit the stone hard, and the fall both knocked the wind out of me and left me stunned. I hit the floor with the right side of my head, and a terrible, radiating pain seemed to split my skull in two.

I don't know how I managed not to lose consciousness, but I really had a hell of a time.

"As I said..." Dalan walked over me and knelt beside me. "You disappoint me. I might not be a Sith, but I can recognize a great Inquisitor when I see one. You would be great as one of _my_ kind."

He stood and opened the door. "Take him to the cell. We'll be leaving for Coruscant in four hours."

Two guards entered and were about to grab me from my arms but Dalan stopped them. "His left arm is injured. Drag him from his ankles, it will be better. I don't want to turn him to the Emperor with a permanent damage to his arm."

Nodding, they obeyed.

Blocked into a sort of haze of giddiness from the strong blow to my head, I let them drag me out of that room and straight to the cell where they had locked Obi-Wan only an hour earlier. At least I had enough strength and consciousness to grab my injured arm with my healthy hand and hold it tightly as the irregularities in the stony floor created bumps that made me bounce here and there. A strong, sharp headache was developing from my right temple, radiating to the rest of my head and part of my neck. I could hear a slight ringing in my right ear too, and I started fearing a concussion. Not to mention that the impact with the stone caused a rather large gash just above my ear, and blood was flowing freely, plastering my hair and leaving a trail on the floor.

I felt like I had been hit by a sledgehammer. But most of all, I was scared to death by what Dalan had told me. He had practically revealed all the secret of my life in one, single hour. Maybe less.

And what he had said, well, it terrified me. If I had been conceived through the careful manipulation of the Dark Side of the Force, probably Sidious knew about what his Master had done and all his actions regarding me were carefully orchestrated to drag me to the Dark Side from the very beginning, since he had met me on Naboo, twenty two years before.

But, most of all, if what he had said had been true, and in that moment I had no choices but to believe him, then I was truly bound to turn to the Dark Side, someway or another.

Which meant that anything I had fought for since the day I had been shut into my cell on Blenjeel had been vain and useless. That every punch, every kick, every cut or wound I had suffered in those years had only served to temper my body, not my mind.

It was something I didn't want to believe, but had not other alternative.

Fighting for consciousness, I heard the door of the cell slid open with a hiss, a hiss I knew all too well, then I was grabbed by my healthy arm and pushed inside without much regards. I rolled on the dusty floor, trying to prevent more injuries, but I failed miserably. I had completely lost sense of balance and I ruinously landed on my back, earning another bump on the back of my neck. The ringing in my ear got worse as the guards closed the door, sealing us inside.

Instantly, Obi-Wan rushed at my side. "Hey Anakin, are you OK?"

I squinted my eyes a couple of times, trying to focus the images in front of me but it didn't work, my sight was blurry and shady. "Nope..." I mumbled.

"What happened?" he asked, inspecting my wounds. "Your hidden microphone must have been broken, because once you've been brought out of the first cell I couldn't hear anything."

"I..." my head was spinning like a wheel, I felt the nausea rising. At that point, I was pretty sure it was a concussion. "I don't feel well."

"What's the matter? What did they do?" he took off his jacket and placed it under my neck, trying not to move my head too much.

"They..." I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. "They beat me up, as if I had just returned on Blenjeel. It felt the same."

"What hurts?"

Mentally, I tried to recall all the injuries and wounds I had counted before Dalan had joined me in the other room. "Left shoulder dislocated. Possibly three cracked ribs on the right side, two on the left. Cuts and bruises everywhere. A while ago I fell on the floor and hit my head."

"Do you think you can stand up and lay down on that hammock?"

"Nope...I fear I have a concussion."

"What do you feel?" he asked, deeply concerned. "Headache? Nausea?"

"Both. And my right ear rings like a battlefield."

"Alright, you stay here. I'll try to find a way to fix your shoulder."

"Dalan did it. It's OK now, it's not the first time it gets dislocated." I told him.

"Then I have to find a way to block it so it wound be further injured. We must get out of here!"

"They are going to send us to Coruscant in four hours." I said. "I heard Dalan tell his guards to start preparing the ships."

I saw his figure looming over me as he ripped my shirt and made makeshift bandages with it. Thank the Force I had another t-shirt underneath that. "Good. We'll find a way out then."

"You get out of here. I can't go anywhere in these conditions!"

"Hey, don't get dramatic now!" he said, a faint smile lit his face as he spoke. "We've been in worse situations together. We can get out of this."

"Cato Nemoida?"

His smile brightened at the memory. "Exactly what I meant. Not to mention Geonosis, Coruscant...the list is endless!" he tied my upper arm to my chest, both to keep in place my shoulder and my damaged ribs, then tied another strip of cloth and created a sling for my arm. That way, I would at least support the damaged joint without further harm. "Let me take care of you for a moment, then we'll find a way out."

"Thank you..."

"For what?"

"Everything." I groaned as another sharp jolt of pain rushed through my head and neck.

"Don't even mention it. I should be the one thanking you, for sparing me this kind of treatment."

And, as he had said, he took care of me, even if only in a superficial way. He wasn't a graduated doctor, he couldn't do much except first aid stuff. Most of all, he took care of my arm, that was his main worry, since after a while my sight got a bit better and nausea subsided and stopped menacing to make me throw up the scarce breakfast I had that morning. It wasn't a heavy concussion, just a minor head trauma, there were no broken bones and about an hour later, I felt a bit better. Still, he told me to take it easy and don't rush things. I still had a very nasty headache, one of those that hinder your movements and your ability to think, but it was way, way better than the nausea. Even the ringing in my ear slowly dissipated.

But taking it easy was easier said than done. I was still in a lot pain, it made me cringe and burst on the spot. And we had little time before Dalan's men would come and pick us up for the trip to Coruscant, that would possibly mean that we were about to be killed in the next few hours.

As I laid there on the floor, I tried to concentrate on the Force around me. I could feel the slight disturbance around us, but I couldn't understand if it was caused by Dalan's presence or just by a temporary disruptions in its flow. Still, it kept my mind away from everything Dalan had said to me that had left me confused, terrified and hurt.

And while I was left there, staring that the ceiling since I was too afraid to move my neck in case the trauma to my head had been worse than what we had thought, I found myself thinking about the most various things in order to avoid what I had been told. But most of all, I was regretting the fact that after I had got out of prison I had lost the ability to heal myself through the Force, but it didn't stop me from trying. You never know what may happen in certain critical situations. And I had to try, or our escape attempt would have been a lot shorter than what we both hoped. I was concentrating on healing my injured ribs when a sudden thought made its way out of the confusion and the pain.

Master Yoda.

I had to meet him. I needed to talk to him, ask him questions that I knew no one else, even Obi-Wan, could answer.

And I must have thought him aloud.

"What?" asked Obi-Wan, stopping his frantic pacing up and down the small cell.

"Master Yoda!"

"What about him?"

"I need to see him!" I replied, somehow more forcefully than what I had intended.

He was about to answer when we heard a sudden, loud noise coming from outside, followed by screams and blasts. There was a shootout going on right outside our cell.

With incredible efforts, I managed to sit up straight without hurting that much. "What's going on out there?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't have the faintest idea!" he said taking a couple of steps back from the door. "But I don't..."

His voice was covered by a ear-shattering explosion that resonated through the thick walls, which trembled, like a small earthquake.

"That was a big one!"

He nodded. "I wonder what's going on out there!"

We didn't have to wait much longer to know.

A thin, blue lightsaber blade pierced the metallic door just above the lock and with an unsure and trembling movement cut it away from the rest of the slab.

Obi-Wan rushed at the door and pushed it on its hinges using the Force.

What I saw nearly made me fall back on the floor. With Leia's lightsaber in one hand and her trusted carbine in the other, Padmè stood just outside the door frame, looking as dangerous as any other trained soldier I had seen in my life. With a tad of grace more and a slightly better looks.

She threw us our lightsabers before she stepped inside. "Let's get out of here before they call the backups!"

* * *

_Oooook, I really hope this works because I worked really hard on it and it took me quite a lot of efforts to make everything coincide and don't look crazy or foolish. I really hope that my efforts will be mirrored in this one because I really care a lot , it's practically the most crucial chapter of the story up to now and it will be very important even for the rest. _

_Anyway, I really hope you liked it. I've been planning this for so long that I have a thousand different mental drafts in my head, some work and some other don't. This is a mix of those that work. Beware there's going to be an outtake for this chapter, a different point of view, coming up in the next few days, I just need to complete it. It will show up in "The Missing Moments" go and check it out if you never did, it might get interesting. _

_And now, cheerfully singing "John William is the man" I think it's time to go to the gym and beat the crap out the punching sack! See ya!_


	22. Running Up That Hill

_Sorry, it took me a lot of time to write this but, heck, life keeps getting in the way. Anyway, I have to warn you, unfortunately I have the feeling this is not as good as chapter 21, that one was pretty much the best thing I ever wrote in my own life. Still, here it is. I hope the next one will turn out a bit better. It's not as low as chapter 11, that was really, really really bad, but heck, it's not even that good. And, if you haven't read it yet, there's Padmè's point of view of chapter 21 in The Missing Moments. You can find it in my author profile. Have fun!_

* * *

**Chapter 22 – Running Up That Hill**

"_Let's__get__out__of__here__before__the__call__the__backups!_"

I tried to laugh a little but had to smother it or I would have chocked on cough. My chest still hurt like hell and I already knew the feeling of broken ribs crating against one another while coughing. Nothing that I wanted to repeat or experience again. Not in that moment, at least.

But while I wasn't that shocked by the thought that Padmè could get inside that fortress and create havoc in the Citadel, Obi-Wan wasn't really ready to see her figure in the doorway, harmed to her teeth and with a pack of ammo hanging from her belt that would make a Mandalorian envious. Most of all after the mess we had heard coming from the hallway.

"That's a great idea but...how the hell did you..." he was a step away from stammering from the shock.

"It's a long story and right now we don't have time. I had to make my way all through the detention level and I would like to go the same way while it's still empty!"

That was my wife. "That's an excellent idea!" I mumbled, while trying to stand up. I was having a rather hard time to stand, my mobility was terribly impaired by my injuries. At some point, I realized I couldn't do it alone. "Oh damn...can you help me?" I asked Obi-Wan.

But Padmè was faster. She walked towards me and knelt beside me. "How do you feel?" she asked softly, pulling back a strand lock of blood-plastered hair from my bruised face.

"Can you ask me another question?" I told her, just like she had done just the night before. And no matter how in bad shape I was, I was still worried about her, more than I was about me. I still hadn't forgot how exhausted she had been before we went to sleep, probably not fourteen hours earlier.

Shaking her head, she smiled for a moment. "I'm serious Anakin!"

"I've been better." I replied, trying not to make her more worried than she already was. I hated when she was worried about me. "I just can't use my left arm to get up. And the right one hurts too."

She looked down at me as if I was a child hiding things from his mother. The same look she gave Luke or Leia when they did something wrong. Not often, but it happened. The same look my own mother gave me each time I arrived home yelling that Watto was going to make me run another podrace. "Don't lie Anakin." she said sternly. "I heard it."

I sighed, flinching a bit when I felt my damaged ribs move. "How much?"

"Everything."

She and Obi-Wan exchanged a worried look as I coughed hard. I didn't want to talk about it. Well, not in that particular moment. "We should get out of here." I told them, trying to change subject and divert their attention from me. "Padmè is right. We have to get out of here before they call the backups."

"Can you walk?" she asked again.

I nodded minutely. My head felt like it was splitting in two. Nausea was gone, but the headache was still awful. "Yes... I can walk. I don't know if I can fight though." I said as Padmè helped standing up. It took me a while, but with her help, at least I was up and walking. Wobbling and taking uncertain steps, but still, I was standing.

"That's definitely out of question Anakin!" stated my Master looking outside the door. "You're in no condition to use any kind of weapon. You stand back and I'll handle them!"

"Can you do it?" asked Padmè.

I chuckled, looking at him as he almost burst out in laughter. "Padmè, please, this is just too easy for him! He won't even sweat!"

She nodded and lifted her rifle. "Then let's get moving. We don't have much time, or at least..." she stopped mid-sentence as if she had heard something. "Yes Lysveet, we're going."

"What?"

"I've got Lysveet and Darrick on the comlink, they helped me getting here!" she told us. "Now let's get out of here!"

Leaning on her just enough not to fall down on the floor at the first step forward, we walked just behind Obi-Wan as we went out in the corridor of the detention level. Holding his lightsaber ready, but not turned on, Obi-Wan let us through the doorway and closed the thick slab of steel behind him, then stepped in front of us. "You two stay behind me. I don't want any of you to cross my way because if we meet Imperial forces I'll be the one fighting them. You just take cover and let me do the job." he said, quite seriously. I hadn't seen him that serious since the last days of the Republic. "Clear?"

We both nodded, but I let Padmè do the talk. "Yes sir!"

"Good. Take good care of him, probably I'll need to go around quite a lot. He's in no condition to fight right now."

Then turned and lit his lightsaber, holding it in front of himself. He took the first, uncertain steps forward and carefully looked around. We couldn't afford any unnoticed assault, therefor, even if I wasn't in the condition to concentrate for too long, I tried to do my best at following the flow of the Force around us and detect anything strange going on around us.

Each step I took though caused me a sharp pain all over my body, most of all in the left side of my chest. I was trying not to think about it, but literally each wobbling step was putting me through agony. Even after all those years in prison, I never experienced something like that. After my beat ups, all I've ever done was lying on the floor and let time do the healing. I didn't have the time in that moment, but I had to hold on.

We were taking it slowly, because as Padmè had said just a while before, she had to fight her way in and we feared that, at some point, someone would come down and check what had caused two mind-blowing explosions in the detention level.

We didn't have to wait much. We hadn't even turned around the corner when we found the first squad of troops that had come to check what had caused the two explosions. I had barely the time to see one of the four stormtroopers kneeling beside one of the corpses before Padmè pushed me against the wall as Obi-Wan stepped forward the same moment blasts started flying around us.

"Owf...be careful Padmè!" I groaned after she had pushed me, crashing me squarely against the wall with my back. "That hurt!"

"I'm sorry Anakin, but...I don't want you to get shot other than beaten!"

I coughed for a moment, as we heard Obi-Wan's blade extinguish after the small squad had been reduced to silence. "Don't worry, I'm fine."

"You sure?"

I nodded. "Yes, I'm sure. Daltarra was worse."

Well, actually, I wasn't really sure about that. I still had that feeling of dizziness that impaired my movements and the headache was getting worse again. Nothing too bad, for the moment, but still, my head was really pounding. If only I had known the worst was yet to come...

"The way is clear. Come on, we still have a long way to go!"

Agonizingly slowly, Padmè and I managed to reach him. The floor around him was littered with broken weapons and severed limbs. The troopers they had sent down were all dead within thirty seconds since they had come out of the lift. As usual, Obi-Wan's work was a masterpiece of neat cutting and slashing. He was more than a sword master, he was an artist of lightsaber combat.

"Everything alright?" he asked, seeing me panting.

"Yep, just a minor collision with the wall. Nothing to be worried about." I lied as best as I could, but I could see he didn't really believe me, just like Padmè.

"Alright, try to hold on until we get to the ship. Which way?" he asked Padmè, then. He was back to his commanding tone I was used to hear during the Wars and back at the time of my apprenticeship, when I was his Padawan.

"If we turn left here we should find the remaining of the sentry box and then there's the elevator. We should go down one level and then we'll follow the same path I used the get in. It's not long, just tortuous."

He briefly nodded. "How long?"

She remained quiet for a moment. I was sure either Lysveet or Darrick were giving her instructions. "If we don't find anyone, which is highly impossible, about ten minutes."

"We won't be this lucky. I can feel them coming from every direction!" I told them. It was the best I could do, telling them when they were coming relying on the Force.

"Then let's find that lift before we're surrounded by Imperials!" he said, gesturing us to follow him.

We did as he told, even if it was taking me an incredible effort to keep up with them. We arrived at the destroyed sentry box and walked past it skipping the debris and shattered glass and there we found another small squad that had just arrived with the lift. Three unfortunate clones that met their death by Padmè's hand, or better, her gun. Every time I saw her shooting, it marveled me. She hated shooting and killing people, but she shot like a pro.

"Go on, as soon as we're on the other level we should find less people." she said holstering her gun at her hip.

"Good point." I breathed.

Obi-Wan went to push the button to call it but it was already moving. As he noticed it, he turned to the door and waited for it to open. But suddenly it stopped, a few levels above ours, and he took a step back. "I...I don't really like this."

"Me neither." added Padmè.

I tried to lean on the wall and take off some of my weight from Padmè as we waited. "I think they're trying to surprise us. Like on Daltarra. They tried to face me in small squads a couple of times but the third time they sent someone to stop me, they sent a full squadron. Something like fifteen people. Can they fit in that elevator?"

Padmè nodded. "Yep, they should fit. Do you really think they'll come in such a high number?"

"They could, but I wonder why they stopped six levels above!" replied Obi-Wan, nervously looking at the numbers on a small screen just above the button of the lift.

"They're gathering other men." I told him. "And...Padmè, can you ask Lysveet if there are other accesses to this level?"

She lifted her hand and waited for a moment. "Yes, there is. There's a service staircase from the other hallway, the one on the other side from your cell."

I turned in that direction, even if I had to bear the sharp pain on the side of my skull that made it hard to move my head around. They were coming that way.

I was sure of it. I didn't know how or why, but I was sure they were coming that way. And fast. It felt like a radar in my head, tracking down their movements on the last staircase from the level above.

"They'll come that way." I snapped, pointing at the hallway we had come from. "They...they'll be here in a matter of seconds."

Readily, Obi-Wan strode towards me and lifted his lightsaber. "Are you sure?"

I took a deep, pained breath. "I don't even know who I am right now, but I'm sure of this!"

He and Padmè exchanged a look as she knelt a step behind him and lifted her own rifle. "Well, if they're coming..."

Not thirty seconds later, the first two armor-clad stormtroopers turned the corner and started shooting a barrage of blasts on us, readily deflected by my Master while Padmè shoot back at them. But as they shot them down, more came, and I could see, and feel, Obi-Wan's efforts to deflect every blast that could possibly hurt us. I had to do something.

Standing up, almost straight, from the wall I was leaning on, I grabbed my lightsaber from my belt and turned it on. I had to do my part, at least what I felt I could do, I couldn't just stand in the back and watch them do all the job. Trying to reduce my movements to a minimum, I parried the rest of the potentially harmful blasts. I wasn't that effective, I mean, we had been taught to try to deflect them towards the sender, not around us. I wasn't really doing anything good in that department, but at least I was still good at Form 0, even in that condition. Most of all because with that bruised eye, I could barely see through it and, well, my sense of proportions wasn't that accurate in that moment. I did as I best as I could.

Apparently, it was more than enough.

When the last wave of troopers fell dead on the floor, we turned off our weapons and looked at one another. "Everything alright?" asked Obi-Wan.

I nodded. "Yes Master. Shall we go?"

"Definitely." he replied. "Come on, let's be quick."

"We should try to go a bit faster, Lysveet says they're coming down again." added Padmè. "Still from the staircase."

He nodded. "That's not good. At all. Alright, let's get going." he ran forward to get the elevator to our level, while I leaned a bit on Padmè to walk straight. The effort of parrying all those blasts had made me a bit more dizzy than before and it was hard to walk straight.

"You alright?" she asked me softly.

"No, but I've got to hold on, at least until we get out of here. Then I can crash on the ship's floor crying in pain!" I groaned.

"Does it hurt that much?"

"Most of all my head. The rest is bearable, but my head hurts like hell!"

She grew even more worried after that, I could feel it by the way her hold on me tightened. "We need to get you out of here soon." she simply stated after that.

Well, she was right, but I needed to get out of that not only because I needed medical attention, but most of all because I had to get away from Dalan and his poisonous words. I had to get out of that place, it confused me, it made me terribly insecure and uncertain of what to do. No, I couldn't stay there anymore. I needed to think for a while, somewhere quieter. Somewhere I could be alone for a moment and think about what he had just revealed.

Finally, the elevator arrived and we stepped in. Obi-Wan pushed the button and the doors closed almost instantly. The short ride on the lift was silent and as soon as the doors opened we stepped out. The maintenance level was quiet and silent. Too much for my tastes.

"Are there any other entrances other than this lift?" asked Padmè through her comlink. I wished I could have heard what they were talking about on the other side of the line. Maybe they could have distracted me from my thoughts.

She listened closely then frowned. "Alright, thank you Darrick. There are six other entrances but three of them are rather far from here and from our route."

"Where do we go from here?" asked Obi-Wan.

"This way, follow me:"

They switched place and with Obi-Wan helping me standing up and walking, she carefully led the way on the same route she had used to get inside the citadel.

"You know Anakin..." he started a while after we were walking, following Padmè. "I really think you're a magnet for troubles!"

"I know. Her father tells me the same thing."

"I really hope one day or another you will stop acting so reckless." he murmured as Padmè gestured us to stop while she checked around the corner before turning.

"I choose the wrong profession then!" I joked.

"What? Jedi Knight turned convict that escaped an Imperial prison, then became a part of the Rebel Alliance and, just to be precise, nearly killed Darth Vader, pissing him off to death?"

"Precisely..." I took a deep breath and called Padmè. "Hey, anyone incoming?"

She nodded. "Yes, Darrick jus warned me. Six on this side..." and she waved towards the hallway at her left, "...and four on this one." pointing at her right. "This is not going to be easy."

"Escaping from any kind of place is never easy." I groaned as a sudden wave of nausea threatened to make me throw up the remains of my breakfast. That wasn't a good sign.

I saw Obi-Wan look at me for a long moment before he unwound his arm from my waist and made me lean on the wall. "I don't like your face."

"If I could see it, I wouldn't like it either."

"Good point. You stay here, we'll deal with them. Alright?" he said as I slowly sat on the floor. "We can wipe them away in not time."

I nodded. "Alright. Call me if you need help."

He chuckled, slightly amused by my remark. "As if you could really help us."

Well, he was right, and they didn't call.

About a minute later, the two squads arrived and opened fire. The loud shots of automatic rifles echoed in the cramped space of the hallways, partially deafening me for a moment. Well, the shoot out didn't last too long either. With Padmè shooting from behind the corner and Obi-Wan defending the spot, they were a deadly machine. Incredibly precise.

It was amazing to watch them, unfortunately, I didn't have the chance. I don't know if it was because I had been moving quite too fast for my actual condition or I don't know whatever was going on with me, but I suddenly felt a rhythmic thumping in my head, as if I had a wardrum in it, pounding relentlessly in my right temple. If I moved my head, it got even worse and nausea was getting worse and worse by the moment, even if I had thought it was getting better when I was resting in that cell.

Even breathing regularly was becoming harder.

When the last man had fallen down on the floor, they turned towards me. Obi-Wan's gray jacket had a couple of burns on his left sleeve. Two blasts had grazed the thick fabric. That had been a rough one, I could tell that even if I hadn't assisted.

"Ready to go?" asked Padmè pulling another magazine out of a satchel on her belt.

"I hope so." I replied, grabbing her hand as she helped me to my feet, hoping I wouldn't feel nauseated or anything else.

It didn't work. The sudden movement made my already upset stomach churn, it was like that night when I got drunk on Dxun, only tripled. I tried to hold it back, but I lasted barely a moment. Within ten seconds since I had been pulled up to my feet, I couldn't help but throw up. I leaned on the wall in front of me as I heaved out the few contents of my breakfast, hoping I would remain up on my feet. Or worse, pass out completely.

"Hey Anakin..." snapped Padmè, suddenly really, really worried. "What's going on?"

"Nothing..." I panted. "Just the sudden movement. I'll have to be careful from now on."

"You need a medic, that's it." stated Obi-Wan. "And you need it fast."

"I'm fine, it's just the headache, that's all!" I replied, trying to damp down their worries.

"Its not only the headache Anakin!" interjected Padmè wiping some blood and sweat from my face. With the healthy eye I could read the preoccupation on her face. "You're scaring me."

I breathed as deeply as I could and sighed. "I'm...let's get out of here." I changed subject hoping they wouldn't talk about my conditions again. "Come on, how long until the exit?"

Padmè shook her head and then nodded. "Not long. You help him , I'll go forward." Again, Obi-Wan helped me walk straight while we followed her lead.

Fortunately, the rest of the way was almost uneventful. Just a couple of sentries and another bout of nausea that forced me to stop for a moment to push it back and not throw up whatever was left from breakfast. I didn't like the quietness of that level though. According to Darrick and Lysveet, who where still assisting us through Padmè's comlink from Dantooine, there were six accesses to that floor and no one came down to stop us? That didn't make any sense, even to my obfuscated mind. There was something out of place, I didn't like it.

In the end, after a seemingly impossible run, at least from my point of view, we arrived to the agonized hallway and then down the staircase to the back service door. "We're almost out, this way, come on!"

"Wait a moment, he can't go faster than this!" said Obi-Wan nodding at me, while we went down the steep stairs. "He's already hurt, I don't want him to slip down the steps!"

"That's the last thing that I want to happen to him but I already called Artoo and told him to bring the ship. He can't stay there where he left me for too long."

He sighed and looked at me for a moment. "I wish I could throw you over my shoulder. We could move a lost faster than now!"

I coughed and smiled for a moment, while carefully walking down the steps. I had never though that going down a staircase would be so hard. I had been hurt before, and badly too, but I had never had to walk down the stairs. It was incredibly hard, even if my wounds regarded pretty much only the upper side of my body. "And you think I didn't think about that myself? That would make us even for the Invisible Hand"

"I had the feeling you were going to say something about that! You know, I wish I could swap our places, to make it easier on you."

"Thank you Master, but I'm used to this, you aren't. You wouldn't last a minute."

He chuckled, acknowledging that I was right. He didn't have all the "training" I had in fact of being beaten up like that. "Yeah, you're right. But still, I wish I could have avoided it. Come on, here we are!"

We arrived at the end of the staircase and with more strength than necessary, Padmè pushed the door open.

The mid-afternoon light hit me squarely in my hurting eyes, making me flinch visibly when we stepped outside. Also, the clean, fresh air outside was like a balm on my swollen face, it numbed the pain for a long, blissful while.

But there was something wrong.

It was all too easy for my tastes. I could feel a disturbance around us.

"There's something..." I murmured. Obi-Wan nodded.

"I feel it too. Something is not quite right. Where's the ship?"

"Behind that corner, there's a short path that leads to the place I told Artoo to drop me."

We kept following her, but that nagging feeling didn't leave me, until we found out what the problem was.

The maintenance level was all too quiet because Dalan had sent the troops outside the service door, to surround us. They stepped up from hiding behind the rocks that circled the area just outside the door. Twelve stormtrooers, two local guards and that guy that kept taunting me when they were beating me. Bors, if I remembered correctly. They were all harmed to the teeth and ready to blast us in no time.

We were nothing less than trapped.

"Damn it!" snapped Obi-Wan looking around, rather angrily.

"Hands up and surrender." shouted Bors. Apparently, he was leading the squad.

"What do we do now?" asked Padmè.

"I don't know." replied my Master. "How did they get down here so fast?"

"I don't know and I don't want to stay here long enough to know." I snapped. "But they are too many just for you in this position." I told him.

Our position was definitely unfortunate. In the middle of a clearing, without good cover spots or anything to hid behind. To say to clear, we were screwed, plain and simple.

"I won't repeat it, hands up and surrender." shouted again that guy. "Or we're going to shoot you!" he had never negotiated with anyone, I could tell that. No one with a minimum of experience would say something like that so plainly. It wouldn't just make people angry, but also reduce his possibilities to get what he wanted. Or who, in this case. And aggressive negotiations only work if you can handle a lightsaber. And that doesn't even give you the certainty you'll make it alive.

"Can you do that trick with your lightsaber again?" asked Obi-Wan, clearly referring to that stunt I had performed on Coruscant, a week before.

"Possibly, but I can't assure to achieve the same resut!"

"Guy's I have and idea." whispered Padmè. "Do as they say."

"Padmè are you out of mind?" I asked. "We can't leave our lightsabers here!"

"They didn't say _drop your weapons_, they said _hands up_. Do as he says and prepare to run." she added briefly. "We can do it if you listen to me."

"What are you thinking of?"

"It's not what I'm thinking, it's what Lysveet is doing! You'll understand in ten seconds, just be prepared because we'll be running up that hill to make it." she said obeying to their orders.

"What is that slicer doing?" asked Obi-Wan lifting his hands over his head. I could barely lift my right arm so they had to go with that.

"You'll see in a moment."

And, three seconds later to be exact, all the guards around us suddenly let their weapons clattering to the ground, literally split in two by an unknown force we couldn't identify. We saw all of them, no one excluded, bring their hands to their head, as if all of them developed a sudden, skull splitting headache that made them weak and harmless.

That was our chance.

"Run, now, fast, up that hill!" shouted Padmè.

And we ran. Well, they ran, I tried to but managed only to perform a strange act that looked like running. Or at least I think I did something like that, I didn't really care about it. The only thing that mattered is that we managed to climb up that steep hill all in one piece and without a single blast being shot at us, just to find the ship there, with the entrance ramp wide open so we could get inside without even having to stop.

It took all the energy I had left, after I heard the entrance ramp closing behind us, I crashed against a wall with my sane shoulder and slid on the floor. "Finally!" I exclaimed as the engine of the ship started and it lifted off the rocky surface it was anchored, guided my Artoo's expert commands.

Obi-Wan stomped to the cockpit and leaned in. "Artoo, set the route for Dantooine!" he shouted then he roughly picked me up and brought me to the crew compartment while Padmè thanked Lysveet and Darrick before closing the communication.

"No!" I snapped then. "No not Dantooine!" I pulled back and stood up alone, looking at him squarely in his eyes.

"Anakin don't be silly, you need medical help!" he replied.

"No! No I'm fine! I'll be fine!" I sat on one of the chairs around the small table. "But I can't go back to Dantooine, not now! I need to speak to Master Yoda!"

"You can't be serious! Just look at your face! You have a concussion, a dislocated shoulder and I wouldn't be surprised if your cheekbone would be fractured! You need a medic, and you need it now."

I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. "Listen Obi-Wan, I know I'm not the best thing to look at at the moment, but I swear on the living Force that this is not my main problem right now! I must speak to Master Yoda at once!" I almost shouted.

At that point Padmè came in the cabin and knelt beside me. "What are you talking about?"

"I'll..." I wasn't ready to tell them. Not in that moment. I needed to re-think what Dalan had told me, I needed to metabolize his words and try to find a way to tell them. It was such a huge bombshell to drop that I wasn't really sure how I was going to tell them. It terrified me. "I talked to Dalan for a while. He told me things...things that I had never expected to hear from anyone, less then everything from an Imperial I had never met, that need to be made clear. And Master Yoda is the only one that can help me understand them."

"What things?" asked Obi-Wan, quite sternly.

"I..." I paused for a moment. I had to find the right words not to make them suspicious. "I can't tell you now."

"And that means?"

"It means that I myself don't know how to tell you them. It's difficult, please, try to understand me. He knew things that...I don't really want to talk about it."

"Is it really that important?" asked Padmè pulling a strand of blood-plastered hair from my face.

I nodded and grimaced at the sharp jolt of pain that the movement caused to my head. "Yes, it's important." I told them. "It's more than important. It's essential, for me. He...Dalan told me things that I could have never..."

"Anakin, if you don't want to talk about it, then don't. We'll talk about this later." then she looked up at Obi-Wan. "I think I can deal with his wounds. And the shoulder. Set the route for Dabobah."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded. "Absolutely."

He twitched his beard under his chin, not too pleased about what she was saying. "Alright. But if he gets worse, even a small wound that starts bleeding again, we're going back to Dantooine. I don't want to bring a wounded man to that damn swamp! The risk he catches a bad infection is too high!"

With that said, he turned around and walked to the cockpit.

I sank on the chair and relaxed a bit, sighing in relief. "Thank the Force he listened."

She took my sane hand in hers and held it tightly. "Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"

I looked down at her with the eye that wasn't closed by the swelling. "I'm sure. I...I need to think about it. Just...give me a while. I think it would be better if I have to tell it only once. And after I have reflected on it for a while."

Not completely happy with my answer, she nodded, sighing. "Alright, I respect your decision." then she looked up at me for a long, silent moment. "I wish I could take your pain away Anakin, I wish we could swap places so I could understand what you're going through."

A brief smile appeared on my lips. "Obi-Wan said pretty much the same thing, a while ago."

"Really?"

"Well, not exactly, but in the end that's what he meant."

"But I really do Anakin, I know you're in pain, and it's not only because they beaten you almost to death back in that cell. You wouldn't insist that much if it wasn't really important. Come on, let's get you cleaned up and then I'll patch you up, alright?"

I couldn't refuse.

* * *

_OK, that was it. I hope you liked it. Have fun my friends! Till the next time!_


	23. Crippled And Broken

**Chapter 23 – Crippled And Broken**

I remained under the hot water spray long enough to finish the warm water supply. And, if it would have lasted longer, I would have stayed in that shower even longer. It felt like it was washing away the shame, as it did with the blood, and it allowed me to empty my mind for a long while, so I could think about what Dalan had told me.

But getting to that blissful shower, well, that was a sort of stand-alone adventure.

You have no idea how much effort it took me to get out of my clothes. With my left arm almost immobilized it was incredibly difficult getting out of my undershirt. Not to mention that it hurt like hell. The jacket wasn't much of a problem, it slid off just fine, with some help, but the t-shirt, that was all another matter. At the third attempt to take it off by normal ways, Padmè, slightly frustrated, just ripped the fabric at the neck, right to the lower hem, so she could slide it off as if it was normally opened on the front.

"It was ruined, anyway." she replied at my stunned look, then she gently pushed me to sit on a stool she had found I don't know where. With that done, she rehung my arm to the makeshift sling Obi-Wan had made out of the tore fabric of my shirt back in the cell then proceeded at taking off my boots. As she did, I realized that my left ankle was a slightly swollen and ached a little. Nothing remarkable, but considering that a year before it had almost been pulverized...it worried me a little. But I decided to say nothing for the moment, after all, I could stand, walk and run without efforts or pain.

"You know..." I started as I tried to unbuckle my belt. "I wish it was a totally different situation..."

She chuckled, her smothered laugh resonated in the small space of the ship's bathroom. "Don't tell me. I would prefer it, too."

"Oh well, I think everyone would prefer sex to patching up a man that has just been beaten!" I joked softly.

"I wouldn't count Obi-Wan in that everybody."

"Good point..." I grimaced as another sharp jolt of pain coursed through my head. "Damn this fucking headache is killing me!"

She stood up in front of me and looked me straight in my eye. "Anakin, please, follow my finger with your eyes, don't move your head." she moved it in front of me left to right then up and down. I followed it quite easily and it didn't even hurt anymore. Just an hour earlier, moving my eyes hurt like hell.

"Good. Your eyes are normal. Just the right pupil it's a bit more dilated than the left. But with a concussion it's to be expected. You need rest, in a couple of days you should be alright." she stood up again. "But, just to be completely sure, I'll give you something for the pain after you're out of the shower."

"Hey, how did you learn all these things?" I asked as he pulled me up and made me step out of my pants and underwear. Yep, I was really hoping the circumstances were totally different. But, I had to admit it to myself, my conditions weren't the best for some acrobatic sex in the toilet! At all!

"I told you, every mother becomes a nurse with time. I had to learn a couple of things about taking care of someone. And I had a first aid intensive course when I became the Queen Of Naboo. Get in the shower and wash that blood away." then she pushed me under the water spray. She had promptly opened it so it would warm a little.

"What if I need some help?" I asked her. "I won't hurt myself!"

She shook her head and leaned against the wall. "No way. Stay there as long as you want, I'll wait here and make you a more comfortable sling."

She had to wait for a while because, really, I took my own time and washed away all the blood that covered my skin. As soon as I stepped under the spray, the water at my feet turned the color of dried blood, a strange tone of red, almost brown, and as I scoured my skin to wash away blood and grime with plenty of soap, which stung really bad on the still raw cuts, the foam formed by the detergent turned into a color that made me sick, bright pink. It looked like my own flesh peeling off my skin, like some kind of strange, alien disease was destroying it.

The whole process of cleaning up took me no more than ten minutes. I took it slow not to hurt myself more than I already was, but I spent probably twenty minutes more there, with the water thundering in my ears, deafening but yet it created a sort of cover that allowed me to hear the voice in my head. My rational side was telling me that I couldn't just believe Dalan. He was my enemy, I couldn't just let him fuck my mind up that way, but my emotional part was traumatized. I couldn't just believe what he had said but it was impossible not to take it seriously and actually believe him.

He seemed to know me even better than myself, and I felt so confused that all I wanted to do in that moment was being left alone for some time, possibly sleep until we arrived to Dabobah and clear my thoughts a little. Before I dropped the bombshell and possibly destroy everything I had earned in those years of suffering in hell.

Well, I had to pay for the incredible year I had just spent with my family on Datooine. Apparently, suffering was my lot in life. Too bad I had enough of being put into a hell of a life just because people wanted me for a purpose or the other.

When the water suddenly turned icy cold, I pawned the tap and closed the water. When I opened the door of the shower, Padmè was there waiting for me with a clean, warm towel in her hands. She wrapped it gently around me and carefully rubbed until I was dry. With that done, she grabbed some clean clothes and helped me wear underwear and a pair of slacks I didn't even remember I packed.

"Here, come with me, it's time to put some band aid on you." she said as she put the new, more comfortable sling she had made for me while I was in the shower.

"Do you really have to? Can't I just go to sleep?" I whined a little as we emerged from the steam filled room. The contrast of the temperatures in the two spaces was incredible. I was suddenly cold, in the crew compartment. Well, I was wearing nothing more than a pair of cotton slacks and the underwear.

"No, I want to keep an eye on you for some other time. Concussions are not to be taken lightly."

"I know!" I sat on the edge of my bunk and faced her. "But I'm tired, really... I just want to sleep for a while."

"It won't take long Anakin. Just let me put some antiseptic on those cuts and bandage that shoulder. You can't move it too much for the next couple of days and I want to block it as much as I can with what I have." she told as she grabbed the first aid kit and a chair from the table. "Which is not much actually."

I sighed and gave up. After all, she was doing it only for my safety. "Alright, but don't complain if I fall asleep."

"Oh don't worry. You won't fall asleep for a while. You're still in a lot of pain, I can tell. Just don't worry and let me clean those wounds."

"Even after the shower?"

She nodded. "Even after the shower. If we were on Dantooine I would drop you into a bacta tank for two hours, just for good measure."

She applied some antiseptic on a clean cloth and started cleaning the cut on my upper lip. Practically, she silenced me right when she had started talking about bacta, one of the things I hated more about being a Jedi. When you get hurt, healers and medics drop you into those damn tanks for hours and then push you under the shower to wash away the stench and off you could go, straight to the next battle.

Well, it was always better than letting the normal healing process take its own time. Wounds like mine could take weeks, months maybe, to heal by themselves.

Well, the whole situation was a huge mess.

Not only because I was hurt, and bad. Most of all because my head was a mess. An incredible, terrible mess of thoughts and ideas. Stuff I didn't even want to think about. Only the idea of being born out of the manipulation of the Force made me sick. Sicker than what I already was. I felt my stomach all tied up in a tight knot seemingly impossible to untie.

I was plunging into a dark void that looked just like the same I had been through eighteen months before, or so, on Dantooine, and even before, in the first few months on Blenjeel. It felt like it was looking at me, as if it was alive, a real person with real eyes, that kept staring at me. And I didn't like the way it was looking at me.

"You want some ice on that eye?" she asked at some point.

Her voice snapped me out of my thoughts. Fortunately. "What?"

"Your eye. It's swollen and bruised. Some ice would help. You want some?" she asked again.

"Oh...well, yes, if it's not a problem." I replied, a but confused.

"Don't worry, no problem. We've got plenty of ice, even for your shoulder. It should numb the pain." she said applying a band aid on the cut over my eye. "Mmh, I think I'll have to bandage your head. This is the bigger band aid I have and it's not big enough. The adhesive part would go right on the bruised part and it's not exactly what you need. And, the bandage would cover even the wound on your temple"

"Alright..." it wasn't the best thing for me but, heck, it would do. "You don't have to cut my hair, do you?"

"Absolutely not! It would kill me to do it. You know how I love your long hair!"

I smiled for a moment then fell silent, letting her do her job.

"Hey, come on, bright up a bit. You're alive, we're safe!" she tried to cheer me up a bit.

"Padmè I...you don't know what they've done to me."

She shook her head as she wound the dressing around my head to fix the clean cloths above my eye. It was imbued with a some bacta liquid to keep it clean. "That's not what worries you. I know it. You've been hurt worse and in worse conditions. You can deal with the pain. It's something they told you that keeps worrying you. What I do worry about though, is why are you keeping it for yourself! You should have learned years ago that keeping things for yourself doesn't work for you!"

Even with one eye I could see the genuine preoccupation printed on her face and I couldn't blame her. History taught us to be very careful about me being worried by something. Anything could make me snap, in those circumstances.

And she was right to be worried.

"And you're right to be worried. Because this is a huge bombshell to drop, and if I could, I would do anything to avoid to tell you this, but I can't. It's just that...I just want to say it only once, because I don't want to repeat it."

I reached out and took her hand in my healthy one and held it tightly. "Please, trust me. I swear, I learned from my past, I know I can't keep everything for me, I need to talk to someone, but I need to be sure of what to say. And how to say it, that's the most important thing. Alright?"

She took a moment to think about it but then she nodded. "Alright. I trust you. I don't think you will turn to the Dark Side in the span of eight hours."

I chuckled softly. "Believe me, it only takes a minute." and I knew it all too well.

"Then I'll keep a close eye on you for the next eight hours." she joked. "Come on, let me finish so you can get to sleep."

"Have I told you that I love you today?"

She dabbed the wet cloth on the bridge of my nose and smiled. "Yes, this morning, just before you and Obi-Wan left. And now. But I know you thought it at least six other times." then she gave me a soft kiss. And made a strange smirk. "Oh, I forgot how antiseptic tastes bad!"

"And why do you know how antiseptic tastes?"

She took the bottle and a new cloth. "You have no idea how many scratches and cuts I had to disinfect and then kiss the pain away. We've got a couple of very active kids, don't forget that!"

Again, she was right. "Sorry, sometimes I forget that."

"Sometimes you forget a lot of things." she replied. "For example you forgot to ask me how are Darrick and Lysveet."

With that, she had my total concentration. "Well? What happened?"

"You have no idea of what happened! Really, I was a bit upset..." she stopped for a moment and put some more antiseptic on the cloth. "Well, I was a bit more than upset, but that's another matter, but the important thing is that I called Lysveet and guess who answered?"

Something snapped in my hazy mind. "Don't tell me that..."

"Darrick..." she smiled slily while cleaning the wounds on my wrists. "He was the one to pick up the call. But there's more!"

I was a step away from burst out in a heartfelt, but rather painful considering my precarious conditions, laugh. "How could there possibly be more than that? You literally caught them together, there's nothing more to say! Except that I will mock him to death for the rest of his life!"

She had managed to cheer me up, and believe me, it was incredibly difficult in that moment.

"I caught them in the act!"

My healthy eye burst open wide. "You're kidding me!" I snapped.

"No! I swear on the Force, it's true! Darrick picked up and he was...oh there's no other way to tell you, he was breathing hard, and he was talking in a way someone does only when he's caught having sex! Really, they even confirmed it!"

"What?"

She nodded. "Yep. I was still on the maintenance level and there was nothing going on up there so I asked them what they were doing and that I thought they were having mind-blowing sex because of the way he answered and...well, Lysveet said something like – And you got that just by listening to the way he answered?" - that was pretty much an admission!"

"Damn...I can't believe I missed that! We have enough material to blackmail them for life!"

She rubbed a bit harder on my bruised wrists, enough to hurt a little. "Do that and I swear I'm going on strike for more time you can even imagine!"

I grunted loudly. "You can't do that!" I hated when she threatened to go on sex strike. She was terribly serious when she menaced to do that, and I had no chance but to obey her. I could whine a little, but she was adamant about that. That was one of her best weapons, with me. And it always worked.

"Don't even try that! Puppy eyes never worked with me!"

I lowered my eyes and sighed. "Alright...can I just..."

She stopped me before I could finish my sentence. "Not in front of the kids!"

I lit up a little. "Oh well, I think that would work!"

"Good boy. Now, is there anything else that needs to covered with a band aid?" she asked dressing the wounds around my wrists.

I thought about my wounds and slowly shook my head. "No, only the shoulder."

She nodded. "Alright, that might take a little while. Can you turn a little so I can work a little better?"

It did take a long time indeed. Padmè managed to create a sort of flexible dressing that blocked the shoulder but allowed me some movement from the elbow down. She also adjusted the sling so it would not hurt my neck.

"Ready for some sleep?" she asked then, when she had finished her long work on me. It had taken her almost an hour to clean all my cuts and wounds, then the shoulder took her really a long time to fix, but she looked like she was satisfied with her work.

I stiffened a deep yawn. It was a mix of exhaustion and necessity to be alone for some time. "I guess I am."

"How's your head?"

"Ask me another question please!" I told her. "At least nausea is gone! How about you?"

Her eyebrow shot up. "What about me?"

"You didn't feel well yesterday. How about now?" I asked her. I was worried. I might have been wounded, confused and hurt myself, but I had the certainty that if I knew she was fine, I would feel a little better. Not much, but enough not to freak out. She was my first concern. I knew from preview experience that she was the main motive I got upset or frustrated, for obvious reasons, you all know the story after all, and I wanted to know she was OK. So I could just be worried about myself.

She shrugged her shoulders. "Not bad. No headaches or nausea for now. Just a mild feeling of weariness, but I guess it's normal after all we've been through."

Not exactly the answer I wanted to hear, but it could do. "Did you get some rest this morning?"

"A couple of hours, but it wasn't much. But enough of me now, you're the one that needs rest. Come on, lay down."

She gently pushed me down on my bunk and I slowly laid down on the thin mattress. The extra pillow she had preemptively brought up from one of the storage compartments offered some welcomed support to my shoulder and aching neck and finally the pain subsided a bit. Being able to lay down and relax completely was just what I needed in that moment.

"I'll go and get the ice packs and something for the pain, wait here!"

She stood up from her chair and disappeared from my limited view. I drew a deep breath and remained there, motionless, staring at the black ceiling of my bunk. I closed my eye and listened to the sounds around me. The low and steady hum of the ship, Artoo's beeps and whistles as he "talked" to Obi-Wan apparently regarding our adventure and what happened, Padmè searching for instant ice packs I don't know where...

Familiar sounds that helped me relax even more. I felt my aching muscles ease a little and even the headache diminished a bit. I was definitely doing better than expected. Still, I was so tired and upset that all I could do was laying there, crippled and broken, trying not to burnout in front of everyone.

Padmè returned a moment later with three ice packs. "Here..." she pressed a button in the center of the pack and the chemical reaction instantly turned the liquid inside it into ice, making them cold and rigid. "One under your shoulder, one above the joint and this one is for your eye." she handed me the smaller one while she placed the other two in the aforementioned positions. The cold slowly crept through the thick layers of bandages around my swollen eye and shoulder, alleviating the pain almost instantly.

"Alright. Now, you have two options." she lifted a bottle and a syringe in one hand and a plastic container in the other. "Slow-action painkiller but no needles or instant relief and possibly a total black out for the next six hours. Which one you prefer?"

I gave her a tiny smile. "I guess I'd go for the needle."

"So be it." she prepared the injection and smiled. "You're getting brave!"

"Not exactly. I just want to sleep." I replied.

Almost professionally, she disinfected a small patch of skin on my bicep and injected the clear liquid in the muscle. "There you go. It shouldn't take more than a minute to kick in."

I grabbed her hand and held it tightly. "Thank you."

She put the used syringe down and looked down at me. "You're welcome. But for what?"

" For everything. For being here with me. For saving us back on the planet. And for a lot of other reasons I keep thinking are granted but shouldn't do. And for enduring my jackass behavior."

Smiling, she placer her other hand on ours intertwined and sighed. "Anakin, please, how many times do I have to tell you that it's not necessary? When I married you, almost twelve years ago, I accepted you as my husband, with all your values and flaws. I know how you act, I know how you feel, probably better than yourself. I know you struggle every day to keep your dark side, and not the Dark Side of the Force, at bay, and I'm here to support you, no matter what happens. Come hell or high water, deep as you go, I'll follow you. Alright?"

Drowsily, I nodded. The medication was already doing its job and sleep was coming fast. "Alright..."

"Good boy!" she leaned closer and kissed me. "Now, lay down and sleep. I'll call you when we're getting closer so you can get dressed, deal?"

"Deal." I murmured. "I love you..."

"I love you too. Never doubt that."

After that, I blinked a couple of times, but the third time, my sane lid remained closed, too heavy to be opened. Sleep came fast, and welcome.

I needed a moment for myself. A long while of emptiness, to clear my mind and realize the implication of what Dalan had told me. And figure out a way to tell them without making them reject me.

I needed to figure out how to live with that weight on my conscience.

* * *

_Alright, short fluffy chapter. I needed a moment between the two of them. More will come in the next few ones, many more actually, the darker edge of this story is slowly unwinding and I hope I'll do a good job, most of all because the next few chapters will be most of all dialogue and stuff like that. I'm sorry but the action will come a lot later. Just give me time to settle some stuff and well, I guess you'll have to wait until ABC will start the usual hiatus for Castle because my inner Casket shipper is taking its toll on the time I spend writing. And the webzine keeps stealing time too. _

_So, hope you liked it and...well, see ya next time!_


	24. Fear Of The Dark

**Chapter 24 – Fear Of The Dark**

_The Senate Rotunda, where the Emperor still had his office, was still buzzing with activity, even at that late hour. There had been a Senate gathering that morning and the meeting had lasted more than it had been planned. His appointment had been delayed to the next day, or so he thought. And hoped. _

_He received the convocation from the Emperor rather late that evening, he was already anticipating a nice evening away from the Inquisitorius' matters with his wife and children when an Imperial clerk had arrived at his door with the message and he had reluctantly accepted even if he was already dressed for the night, but you can't refuse a convocation from the Emperor himself. He wished goodnight to his wife and kids and drove his speeder to the Senate._

_Not that he really wanted to go actually. The day had been long and tiring, all he wanted was a nice uneventful evening, possibly reading a book or just looking through the data he had collected about his next target. And of course, fate had turned against him and he had been pulled out his tiny heavenly spot._

_He left his speeder in the parking lot and launched to the theater as fast as he could, dodging random people on his path here and there. Finally, he got to the large hall and walked, better, ran, up the immense staircase and asked one of the stewards where he could find the Emperor's private office. _

_Two other staircases and a long run in one of the turbolifts and he was there, right in front of the office. Outside the door, two guards in red robes and helmets stood right there, motionless. _

_Straightening his slightly wrinkled clothes he strode towards the entrance of the office and waited for them to stop him. Apparently, he had already been announced. Or maybe the guards were there only as a decoration, considering how powerful Darth Sidious was. He could definitely hold his own against possible aggressors, since it was common knowledge he had defeated five or six Jedi, Master Windu included, years before. _

_He knocked on the thick wooden surface. A wooden door. A luxury not many could afford, but considering that the person occupying the office behind the said door was the most powerful man in the Galaxy, it didn't bother him._

_The keylock clicked, opened from the inside._

_A bit uncertain, he pushed the door open and stepped in, closing it behind him. Then he stood there, waiting. "You wanted to see me, your Excellency?"_

_The high chair turned, revealing the Emperor. His deformed face made him flinch a little, but what hit him the most were his eyes. They weren't normal. Red and yellow, a sickly tone that made his guts churn with fear. He breathed deeply for a while to regain some composure as he waited for an answer. He couldn't stop looking at his eyes though, they scared him._

"_Inquisitor Dalan I presume." he crackled, his voice barely a whisper._

_He nodded. "Yes, Your Excellency. I was told you wanted me here tonight."_

_Slowly, the Emperor nodded. "Yes, please, sit and make yourself comfortable."_

_A bit unsure, Dalan strode towards the enormous desk and sat in one of the padded armchairs in front of it. _

_The Emperor smiled. To Dalan, he looked more like a mass of rotting flesh than a human being, just like him. Slightly older, but still, a human being. But it appeared that the Dark Side of the Force had consumed everything human left in that...in the being in front of him. _

"_Good. I am deeply sorry for the late hour of my message but my table is very strict and I want to deal with your request as soon as I could. From what your superiors told me, it's a rather relevant matter." he spoke slowly and in such a low voice it was hard to hear him. It was more a hiss than a normal voice. It made him shiver quite a few times. _

"_Yes...actually, it seems like I'm working for Lord Vader himself. He's having some troubles locating a certain Jedi."_

_The Emperor nodded. "Yes, I think he mentioned about him. Pavan, I think."_

"_Yes sir, Jax Pavan."_

_The Emperor cocked his head a little. "I never met this man. I wonder what are you looking from me."_

"_Actually, I'm here because apparently there's an old acquaintance of yours looking for him, other than us." he took a datapad from the inner pocket of his jacked, selected a file and put it onto the desk. A couple of seconds later, the CC camera footage replayed in front of the Emperor. He smiled, but his smile was a freaky one, that kind of expression that makes you jump on your seat. And Dalan almost jumped, for real. He had to mask his jerk on the armchair and it took some effort not to make it look like he was terrified, and disgusted, by the man in front of him._

"_Oh, look who returned from the grave! Anakin Skywalker and Senator Amidala! And Master Kenobi himself!" he said. "Where did you find this hologram?"_

"_This come straight from the closed circuit cameras in Pavan's apartment building. They arrived some hours before I ordered to search his apartment and they killed all my men, Inquisitor included."_

"_That's very much like them. I always liked their straight forward attitude."_

_Dalan nodded. "So I've heard."_

"_Well, it's not a secret that Skywalker and I were close during his apprenticeship and during the Clone Wars, but why are you showing me this?"_

"_Sir, I have the feeling they are looking for Pavan and that they are ahead of me. I tried to search their files and everything but all of them are secreted. I have a rather high access level but I can't see the vital information. And since you're one of the few men that knew Skywalker still alive, I was wondering if you could tell me something about him." Dalan revealed. He hoped that being sincere would make the Emperor help him. He held his breath for ten good seconds, terrified._

_He replayed the holo and smiled again. _

"_Yes, I think I can help you." at that point Dalan let out a deep relieved sigh. "What do you want to know?"_

"_Well, of course I know the mainstream stuff but, I actually want to know who he is in reality. His character, who is behind the public persona all of us saw on the holonet."_

_The Emperor leaned back on the chair and took a deep breath himself. "Mmh...interesting question, Inquisitor Dalan. What you're asking regards a very vast area of notions. Anakin Skywalker is a mystery I've always tried to resolve. His talent and connection with the Force is astounding, a man like him never existed. I met him almost twenty three years ago and still I can't truly understand."_

"_What exactly?"_

_Lord Sidious sighed. "Everything. Anakin Skywalker is a miracle of the Force. I could feel it, strong, the same moment I met him on Naboo, so long ago. Alone, and at the incredible age of nine years, he had managed to destroy the plan I had designed for the invasion of Naboo."_

"_You mean the Naboo Crisis of..." he mentally counted. "Twenty three years ago!"_

_Sidious nodded. "Then. The Jedi that had been sent by the Senate found him on Tatooine. I knew of the existence of someone like him but I never thought they would find him."_

_Dalan leaned back on his chair and straightened the sleeve of his jacked. "What do you mean you knew about his existence?"_

_Sidious chuckled. The sound he made reminded him the echo of a crumbling building. "When I say that Skywalker is a miracle, I mean it. I witnessed his conception, from a very remote place in the Galaxy."_

_What he had said, made no sense, at least to him. And seemed slightly creepy. "And that means?"_

"_Oh, it's a long story. A very long and complicated story. How much do you know about the Force, Inquisitor?"_

_Dalan mused for a moment about the question. "Well, I know that I have been using the Force since I was born probably, but no one ever noticed. I know that my midichlorian count is a bit above twelve thousand units per cell and that's not too high but not even too low. More than enough to become a Jedi. I know the Force binds everything in the Galaxy, that can be sensed almost by anyone but that doesn't mean every living beings can actually use it at his own advantage. Well, actually I know what I've been taught when I became an Inquisitor, not more."_

_Sidious nodded again, his hood bounced a bit from his movement. "Let me tell you there's so much more, but this is not the time nor the place to tell you what you need to know. To make a really long story really short, the Force is a link that connects every living thing to another, but also allows some very gifted people to do wonderful things. And I'm not referring to the boring telekinesis technique or the super speed that many Jedi of the new generations loved so much." he paused for a moment, a hint of a smiled curved his lips for a split second. "That was one of their many flaws, but, like I said, this is not the place. I'm talking about great mental abilities, about enough force to drag Star Detroyers down from the atmosphere only with the power of your mind." he waved his hand in front of him and the holo paused on a close up of Anakin's face as he looked over his shoulder. "And that's only a minor feature of what the Force can actually do."_

"_Yes, I've heard about what the Force could do." _

"_You've heard nothing, Inquisitor. What you've seen in these years is only a tiny, tiny fraction of what a man can achieve through the Force."_

_Dalan's eyebrow shot up. "What do you mean?"_

"_Many years ago my Master, Darth Plagueis the Wise, achieved a very important goal. He did something that no one before had ever done. He managed to create life!"_

_- Ok, now this is getting weird. - thought Dalan at that point. But he had to admit that he had caught his attention. "Create...life?" he asked. "Like... like creating...like what?"_

_Sidious chuckled again. "Like manipulating the midichlorians in order to actually creating a new life form and conceiving it, in a way that I still cannot understand."_

_Realization struck him. "And that life is Anakin Skywalker?"_

"_Precisely. I knew my Master had managed to carry on his intent, but none of us knew actually where it had happened. We just knew it happened and...well, he found me, nine years later."_

_The Inquisitor leaned on one of the armrest and scratched the stubble under his chin for a while, pensive. "I...I don't know what to say."_

"_Then say nothing." _

"_But..." Dalan continued. "What does this mean?"_

"_That's the point. To make it plain and easy, it means that Anakin Skywalker has the raw potential to become the living being with the strongest connection with the Force of the whole history. He's literally born from the Force, that means that if we had him on our side, all our problems with the Rebellion would have probably already been dealt with. He just needs the right training."_

_Dalan nodded and relaxed a bit. Slowly, all the pieces came together and formed a more complete picture. But there were still too many blank spots. And he wanted to add some color there, just to have a more complete picture. "There's more, isn't it?"_

_Again, the Emperor nodded. "Yes, there's more. Anakin is a very special man, I think now you understand, and I've always known it. But the Jedi didn't. They didn't see his true potential, they were blinded by their pride. They couldn't see what that child could have become, with the right teachings. They kept him at bay, like some kind of undesirable element in their ranks. They ignored his silent requests of help, they didn't trust him enough. But he needed more than the dogmatic teachings of those fools! I tried to help him developing his great gift but he didn't listen to me."_

"_Why?"_

"_Why...ah, I wish I knew. My plan was perfect. It had taken me more than ten years to arrive at that crucial point, to create the right conditions and make him doubt about the Jedi Order. I had everything ready. And suddenly the Council decided to grant him the rank of Master, just what he wanted. That put his soul to rest. Suddenly, all his doubts, his problems, his anguish... vanished! Therefor I had to go for Plan B, but that's another story, totally unrelated to the matter."_

"_So you were exploiting his fears and anxiety as a leverage to drag him to the Dark Side."_

"_You're right. And I had almost made it. It was a matter of days. His peculiar origins make him in credibly close to the Dark Side, it's in his DNA and, most of all, in his Midichlorians. He can't avoid it. It's his destiny. One day or another, he will succumb to the influence of the Dark Side. He can't prevent it."_

_The a question popped up in the Inquisitor's mind. "Does he know about his origins?"_

_For the first time since the beginning of their meeting, Sidious shook his head. "No. Or at least, I tried to tell him in the most subtle way, I still needed my cover ...and, well, I waited to long to tell him about his origins. He had already calmed down."_

_The Inquisitor sat back in his chair and sighed. "That changes everything!"_

"_May I ask you why?"_

_He took a deep breath and sat straight. "Well, I had a strategy, for Pavan I mean. But now that I might meet him while looking for that Jedi, everything changes. And I have to come up with another plan." he revealed. _

_Sidious nodded. "May I suggest you a plan or at least the start of one?" he asked._

_And how could he refuse? "I would be honored."_

"_Follow your instinct. Don't make too many plans, they seldom work, when it comes to Skywalker e Kenobi. Just look for Pavan. Do your job. If, and only if, you come across them, then catch them and bring them here."_

"_They'll try to escape." he said, probably a bit too snappy for the circumstances, but the Emperor didn't say anything. "They're known for their ability to sneak around. You saw what Skywalker did last year, getting out of jail. He has no remorse killing Imperial soldiers."_

"_I know. But you can take advantage of a couple of things. Skywalker has undergone a very harsh regiment while in prison. And it's quite close to the procedure you Inquisitors use to break your prisoners. Break him, and they'll be crippled. Their strength comes from what they can do together. Split up, they're nothing"_

_Dalan nodded, musing over his words for a couple of seconds. He took the datapad from the desk, turned it off and put it back in the inner pocket of his jacket. "May I ask you some other questions?"_

_The Emperor nodded, slowly. "We still have some time before I have to leave, and to be sincere, I don't want to keep you from your business, you were too accommodating with my request tonight, the least I can do is answering your questions."_

"_And I appreciate it. I have only one more then I'll leave you to your business. I still can't understand her presence. Why Senator Amidala is with them?"_

_Sidious chuckled for a moment. "I don't have the faintest idea. She's not an action type."_

"_From what I recall, she and Skywalker married, years ago."_

_Again, he nodded. "Yes. She was one of the fulcrums I tried to drag him to the Dark Side. He's overprotective in her regards, his feelings for her are as strong as his bond with the Force. Probably he wants to protect her and he thought he would have done it better if he had her close."_

_He stopped, the faintest smile made his way on his disfigured face. "And you can use this at your own advantage."_

_Dalan's eyes narrowed, as he feared he knew what the Emperor was going to say. And that was something he didn't want to hear. "How?"_

"_Get her. Hurt her, even threaten to hurt her in any way, and he'll be at your mercy."_

I let out a muffled sound in my sleep. That's probably what woke me up as I tossed and turned in my bunk.

"What the..." I barely breathed out as I opened my eyes, but I saw only black.

The lights in the crew compartment were turned off, I couldn't see anything except for a small crack of light from underneath the door that led to the cockpit. And that was enough to see an outline of the area around me. I took a deep breath and sighed. My chest hurt but it was nothing compared as earlier, not to mention as after Daltarra. It felt like being all in one piece in that moment, everything considered.

I took a deep breath and leaned back against the thin mattress.

So that was what had happened when Sidious had talked to Dalan.

Those were his words. Or at least that was what I saw.

Unfortunately, I couldn't know if it was the truth or just a vision created by the influence of the Dark Side of the Force on me.

I wasn't sure of anything in that moment. What I thought I knew about my life had gone right out of the window. Completely wiped away. All my memories, everything that had happened to me suddenly meant a totally different thing and taken a new meaning. That night on Tatooine at the Tusken camp, the fight against Ventress on Yavin...Dooku on Geonosis and then on the Invisible Hand...everything took another shade, completely different.

I couldn't recall anything of my whole life that didn't make me feel sick. So many things had happened to me, I had been witness of so many great events...and everything was suddenly spoiled by the knowledge that I was nothing more than an experiment.

A quite successful experiment, everything considered. I was so close the the Dark Side that, in that moment, it felt like a physical presence beside me, sitting on the edge of the bunk and staring at me. Mocking me. Daring me to do something stupid.

And it scared me.

All of sudden, I was scared of the dark. I had never been afraid of the dark. Of the night, or of small dark spaces. I grew up on a planet that was incredibly dark at night. But I swear that in that moment, even being almost thirty two years old, I was experiencing for the first time the most terrible case of fear of the dark.

I replayed that vision a coupe of times in my mind and each time it made me sicker.

What Sidious had said was hideous.

Most of all what he had said about Padmè.

Now Dalan had another leverage to make me furious. The fastest way to make me act like a brainless idiot, as they wanted. Sidious still wanted me on his side. By his side, replacing that wreck that was Vader. He had an amazing potential, but his handicap made him unsteady and hard to control. No wonder that the Dark Lord Of The Sith would prefer a healthy man.

I was a step away from a nervous breakdown. Literally.

It was too much.

Too many things happening in a too short period of time.

And I wasn't sure I could hold on.

Not after everything that had happened in the last few days. I just wanted to sleep and forget everything, at least for some more time.

And apparently my prayers because I fell asleep again some time later, helped by the remains of the drug Padmè had given me some hours earlier. I woke up an indefinite quantity of time later when Padmè sat beside me and gently ran her fingers through my hair. "Hey handsome...you're there?" she said softly.

I opened my eyes and saw her in the dimly lit room, smiling happily. I could feel her joy in the Force, just because I was alive and we were traveling safely to Dagobah, altogether.

"I guess I am..." I replied, my voice still muffled my sleepiness.

"We're about half an hour away from Dagobah. How do you feel?"

I rubbed my healthy eye and sighed. "Not too bad. I've been better, but Daltarra was worse."

A faint smile lit her face. "Are you sure you want to go down there? It's not an easy planet and you're in no condition to get sick."

I nodded. "I need to go there. Please Padmè, trust me."

"I trust you, don't worry. Did you have time to think about what bothers you?"

"Yes I did." I lied. "And I feel a little better." Lied again. "I just need to talk to Master Yoda to understand something that Dalan said. Just that." Third lie in just one sentence. I think I had never lied so much in so little words.

Her lie detector was screaming in her head, I could imagine it, she was too good at finding out when I lied or hid things from her. But she didn't say anything and just kept caressing my face and hair for a while longer. "Alright." she whispered. "How's your head?"

It didn't hurt anymore. "Fine. Doesn't hurt. I actually feel quite well."

"Your chest?"

"Hurts a little, most of all the left side. But it's OK, really."

"Anakin..." she started, then stopped and laughed a little. "...you're not fine. At all. You try to look tough but you're hurting. And it's not necessary to be a Jedi to notice that."

No one can deny she was wrong. But I had to hold on a little longer. Then I could just burst and confess everything. But I had to hold on a little longer.

And I doubted I actually could last too long.

"Please..."

"Shut up Anakin. Your words won't make me stop worrying about you. I'm your wife, I must be worried if you're hurt! It's my duty, and the fact that we have two kids makes it only worse." she grabbed my hand and pulled me up. "Come on, you need to get dressed. You can't meet Master Yoda with only your pj pants."

And, as always, she managed to have her way with me and make me do what she wanted.

Ten minutes later, with some help, I had managed to wear something more suitable for the meeting. And warmer too. It was a bit cold in the ship, and being bare to the waist didn't help keeping me warm. I tried to move my shoulder but it hurt still, so Padmè and I agreed to keep it immobilized for a while longer.

Together, we entered in the cockpit and Obi-Wan turned around, greeting us with a tired smile. "Good to see you awake! How do you feel?"

"Quite good, everything considered. You?" I asked sitting in one of the passenger seats.

"Better than you. We were not followed and we're approaching Dagobah. According to Artoo, we should arrive to the place adapt for landing that's closest to Yoda's home in about fifteen minutes."

"Perfect." I mumbled, watching out of the windshield. Dagobah was still just a tiny sparkling point in the middle of the black nothingness of space. But down there, there was my only hope to make some order in the mess that my life had become.

* * *

_I know, I know, my chapters are getting shorter and shorter as time passes. I'm sorry, it's just that these are all fillers, literally. I have to take them from place A to place B and they can't just magically arrive there like they were teleported. That's Star Trek! So, please, be patient, next one is going to be more interesting. I hope. Someone is coming back from...ahem, yes, well, what was I saying? Oh, anyway, I really hope you liked it and that you're having fun! See ya next time!_


	25. What If

**Chapter 25 – What If?**

I let the ship in the skilled hands of Obi-Wan and Artoo. I just leaned on the back of the padded chair and looked outside the window.

As Artoo made all the maneuvers for the landing, I found myself wondering if my insistence for coming right to Dagoba h and not waiting some more days, maybe Obi-Wan was right, I needed to be checked on. What if Master Yoda couldn't help me? If he didn't know anything about this, or worse, what if he had the same reaction of rejection and simply told me to get away from his planet and possibly from the Galaxy to stop my bad influence on the Force.

I was worried.

Not only because I feared the possible explanation that the old Jedi could give me, but most of all I feared his reaction. If they had accepted me in the Order, even after all that had happened, their initial rejection and everything, Though in the last few years it seemed like he had accepted me and my presence in their ranks, always willing to help me, in his cryptic way, I knew he didn't totally trusted me. No one, except for a small circle of friends, really trusted me. Even Obi-Wan, and I knew it. He had come to trust me only in the last year, because he had seen the change in me.

The change.

I was beginning to think it had been completely useless.

All the pain, the suffering, the years jailed on Blenjeel, the beatings, the screams and the tears.

Poof! Useless. Completely futile.

I had the Dark Side of the Force so deeply rooted in me, right in my genetic code that...I was doomed to join their ranks.

Willingly or not.

Then something snapped. Genetic code.

An additional invisible weight was dropped right on my neck, making my head fall on the back of the chair. Genetic code. Luke and Leia. What if they had inherited my terrible temper and that... "thing" of the Dark Side? What if its influence would tamper with their life as it had done with me?

It was something I would never want to see. Not my kids. Not them. They didn't deserve to go through what I had to endure in the last few years of my teenage and as a young adult. Not them. They were just too good to have to deal with the horrors of the influence of the Dark Side. I couldn't bear the thought of it.

I closed my eyes for a moment and tried to steady my shallow breathing.

After a while, I felt a small hand circling my clenched fist. "Anakin?"

I opened my eyes and saw Padmè leaning a bit towards me from her seat. "You alright?"

I nodded. "Yes, I'm fine. Just a bad thought, that's all."

"Sure?"

I opened my fingers and took her hand in mine. "As good as I can be in this condition. Don't worry."

She held my hand tightly. "I'll stop worrying when you'll tell us what's going on in your head. Until then, please, let me be worried."

Smiling slightly, I nodded. "You won't give up, will you?"

"No. Freaking. Way!" added Obi-Wan turning his seat. "She can be incredibly headstrong when people she cares about are sick. You've seen her with the kids! She's as apprehensive as Threepio sometimes!"

We all were caught in a sudden burst of hilarity. I was almost jumping on my chair, only to feel a sharp jolt from my shoulder down to my left hand. Not good. Not good at all. It still hurt like hell.

"Well, at least I'm not as irritating!" she quickly replied glancing at me for a brief moment. "I don't really know what went wrong when you programmed his personality, but he can be terribly annoying!"

"I don't really know what happened, I guess I made a bad mistake while writing the strings of his behavioral processors, because I wanted everything but that kind of behavior. He can be terrible when he wants!"

"All the time you mean! I swear I've never met a more annoying droid. It's not that I don't appreciate your work, I mean, you were nine years old when you built it but..." Obi-Wan ran his hand through his hair. "Damn, I need a haircut...anyway, Threepio can be useful, but he doesn't know when to shut the heck up!"

"Organa told me you had to wipe his memory."

"Yes, about a year after the twins were born. He just couldn't shut up!" added Padmè.

Artoo then beeped and whistled for a moment. "Oh well thank you Artoo, that's very kind of you!" I told him.

Both Padmè and Obi-Wan looked at me, asking for a quick translation from droidspeak, since they didn't speak it. "Oh he just said that I should have let him write his behavioral program when you landed on Tatooine, he would have done a far better work."

"No offense meant Anakin, but he's right." she said, looking at the astrodroid while he was feverishly working on getting the ship down on the surface of the planet.

"I have to agree, but, you know, I've got used to his annoying presence and I admit I used exploit him a bit when I was frustrated."

"You slapped the circuits out of him!" my old Master said leaning back on his chair. He turned around and checked the navicomputer. "If this thing is correct, we should land in less than fifteen minutes." he declared. "We just need to find a good place to anchor safely this ship. Last time I came here, I swear, I had to lift half of the my transport from the swamp. Not an easy task!"

"Guess you don't want to repeat the experience!"

He shook his head. "No way! This planet is terrible, I swear Anakin that if your insistence in getting here isn't really necessary I'm going to kick your bruised butt from here to Dantooine! All the way there!"

Well, after that not so veiled threat, I really hoped that Master Yoda could give me an answer or Obi-Wan could really do what he had promised. The look on his face didn't mean anything good. Not for me at least. He really disliked that place.

I wasn't familiar with the planet, but it was clear that he despised it. And by the way, as we got closer to the atmosphere, I started feeling a strange sense constriction, as if someone had tied a rope around my chest and was slowly tightening the hold. It wasn't the pain from my injuries, it was a totally different sensation. It just cut my breath short, I couldn't breathe regularly. It's not a feeling that I can actually explain, it was strange, I had never felt like that. Not even when I was really under the influence of the Dark Side of the Force, like on Tatooine or on the Invisible Hand. And it was different from the feeling of being slowly chocked to death that had accompanied me during the year from my escape to the events of Daltarra.

It was something new, something I had never felt.

"Master, can I ask you a question?"

He turned his chair and faced me. "Sure, anything!"

"Why Master Yoda decided to hide here?"

He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. "Because Dagobah has a very strong Dark Side resonance. It's the perfect place to hide for someone like him. The problem is that if it's perfect for him, it is not for you or for me if it makes you feel better!" he explained. "After Mustafar and the duel with Vader I stayed there...how long?" he asked Padmè.

"You stayed away a week." she told him. She had better memory for that kind of things.

"That means I remained there four days. Well, at the end of the fourth day, I was absolutely unrecognizable, even to myself. Master Yoda had to kick me away of this planet because I was turning into a split copy of you, according to him!"

Oh, well just perfect! And what if I freaked out the same moment I set foot on that hellish swamp? Not good.

"Alright. I'll have to be careful."

"That's one of the motives why I didn't want to go there. It's wet, the whole place smells like rotting stuff and every time you breathe you can literally feel the Dark Side in your lungs. Not a great place for you."

"I'll be careful." I repeated. I knew that I had to be, there was no need to repeat that.

"Just...just try not to lose it, OK?" again, he was pushing the wrong button.

Not an easy promise to make. "I'll...I'll try." I told him again, groaning a bit.

I hesitated for what? A split moment? Heck, he noticed it. "I don't like when you hesitate." he simply stated, turning again towards the main control console of the ship. "Bad things happen when you hesitate."

Couldn't deny it. And what if bad things happened on Dagobah? What if I lost it, as he had said? I could truly turn into a danger for any of them, not to mention myself.

Still, I had to do this. I had to know. No matter how tight my chest felt and how hard breathing was becoming. It was a matter of survival.

"I'll try not to hesitate then." I replied quite dryly. I didn't like to be harsh with him, even if it was a sort of sport to me when I was a teenager, sometimes it was the only language he understood. I can be stubborn, but sometimes, he managed to get even more stubborn than me. And with that, I think I said everything.

"I know that tone and I don't really like it!" he snapped then. "Reminds me of a dark time."

"Well don't think about it then!" I almost yelled back at him.

I knew he was angry, as much as I was. There was something making me angry in the air, and it wasn't only the fact that apparently Obi-Wan was taunting me.

There was something wrong.

"It would be easier if I didn't know how you behave under the influence of the Dark Side!"

"They why didn't you help me back then?"

"You wouldn't let me help you!" he snapped harshly.

That was the last straw. "You didn't trust me!" I shouted. "You didn't trust me at all! For thirteen years I had to deal with the knowledge that the Order didn't trust me enough to tell me the things I needed to know and look what happened! Too worried to take care of me to notice we had a Sith at the head the Senate?"

"What did you want us to do? What did you expect from the Order? Cuddles and hugs?"

"I expected some respect! That's all!"

"That's enough!" interjected Padmè at that point. "No need to raise your voices!" Obi-Wan tried to speak but she stopped him with a brisk gesture of her hand. "Calm down. That's the Dark Side talking!"

Always wiser than us all.

She was right. Damn right. It amazed me how calm she could remain even in the worst situations. She always kept cool even if we had to deal with the worst of the worst. And now she had to deal with two Jedi deeply affected by the Dark Side of the Force, and most of all, that the influence was making them say long forgotten things that should have remained buried in memories of a time long gone.

I thought I was through with the trust thing. I really thought I had thrown that behind my back and forgot that. I hoped I had, but apparently, there was still a spark of resentment in me. And that wasn't what I wanted. I hated it.

Both Obi-Wan and I leaned back on our chairs and tried to calm down. "Sorry," I mumbled.

"No problem..." she said, still a rather stern tone.

"Me too Padmè." added my Master.

"And...Master, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that."

He nodded. "Me too Anakin. Don't worry. This is nothing. We can go past this."

I nodded, slowly. "Yes, I agree. It was just a matter of getting away from here."

How could I know that? Well, that episode was just the preview of the discussions that could have fired up on that planet. We weren't even on the surface and we were already at each other's throat, verbally abusing each other as if we had been angry for years and we could only vent it out in that moment.

No doubt that Master Yoda had found the perfect place to hide in there.

"Now you should understand why I don't feel comfortable here. I really hoped I would have never had to return on this Force forsaken planet!"

"I really hope it won't take long to find him." I said then. Artoo then beeped and chirped, turning his chromed dome towards us. "You have his position in your memory?"

Another short series of beeps. "Can you take us straight there?"

He whistled his assurance. "Good." replied Obi-Wan. "Last time I had to scan the whole planet for life forms and it wasn't easy."

If Artoo could have sneered at him, he would have done so. He said something like "It would have been easier even back then if you had brought me with you as I proposed!"

As he read the translation, Obi-Wan ran her hand through his hair and smiled for a moment. "I know Artoo, you've already told me nth times. I just didn't know back then!"

"Weren't you the one who taught me to always leave home prepared?" I taunted him, in an innocent way.

"Actually I taught you not to lose your lightsaber, and that is the Jedi way to teach to be always prepared for anything." he replied. "I just wanted to talk to him, after all that had happened. Order 66, discovering that my suspects about the two of you were not only well-grounded but also well deeper than what I had thought...Sidious and...well, you know what happened."

"Then you understand why I need to speak to him. You've been there!"

"Well, I actually still don't understand but, you know, I don't know what Dalan told you. That changes the situation."

I was tempted to tell them. I really was. I just wanted to take that weight off of me and just get over it but somehow, deep inside of me I knew that I risked a burnout if I told that twice. I doubted I could really tell it twice. Well, I actually doubted I could tell it once without freaking out.

Not that I cared about them seeing me freaking out. It wasn't the first time and certainly wouldn't be the last. I had a special talent for going crazy from time to time. But most of all I had a special talent for jumping into troubles until I was literally drowning. A very special talent. Sometimes it amazed me how easily I could drop into messes far bigger than me and still be able to walk. And have only one prosthetic limb. That was a miracle.

Many miracles had happened in my life. Maybe too many. I had to be grateful for everything I had at that stage of my life. I was happy, until ten hours earlier. I mean, I had everything a man could desire from life: a wonderful wife, two amazing kids that never stop making me proud of them, a tight and expanding group of friends that I trusted with my life... Still, I could find troubles behind every corner, as if I went looking for them.

Damn my dreams and my freaking visions!

They only brought pain and problems, and not only to me, but to all those around me.

My foolishness had taken its toll on them. They couldn't stand my hectic behavior forever. Their patience had a limit, and I would have understood if at some point they would reach the point of no return and just say they had enough with me and that I could go to hell. Alone.

Finally, Artoo managed to take the ship among the vegetation of the planet and carefully drove among the thick fronds and trunks that got in the way. Slowly, agonizingly so, he maneuvered the transport to a still unknown destination, managing to avoid every obstacle on the way that could damage the ship. The ability he had developed at actually driving other than just being a support entity for the pilot, was astounding. No other droid could ever do it that way.

Finally he swerved right and slowly lowered the ship to a solid dry spot, one of the few of the planet apparently, and landed on the four props. As he did so, he turned again towards us and beeped. "Master Yoda lives a mile south east of here. I suggest you to pack some things, like a pair of dry pants. You never know what you could find in the swamp."

"I'll do it." stated Padmè standing up. "Need anything special, Obi-Wan?"

He shook his head. "No thank you, a pair of pants and an underwear change should be enough. I don't think we'll stay here long."

Artoo beeped again. "I'm going to look for a closer place to park this thing once we get there. I was thinking you should pack only clothes that could get dirty while getting there. No need to pack too many things, it will only slow you down!"

We all turned towards him. I swear that droid could take care of a human being way better than the better programmed protocol droid of the galaxy. I wouldn't have changed him for any other droid.

"Oh...well, in that case..." murmured Padmè as she walked to the crew compartment.

"You know, I may be from the old school but you're incredibly lucky to have a woman like her at your side." he said as soon as the door had closed behind her,

"Thank you. And I know, I know very well. Sometimes I wonder how she manages to bear my behavior. I still wonder how could she wait for me for eight years!"

"Love can wait Anakin. I may have been only an external observer, but I've learned a few things about her patience and I can tell you, she would have waited eight more years, or sixteen, or how many years you would have needed to return to her. Her will is strong and steady. She was prepared for the worse, still she never lost hope."

At that I lowered my gaze to the ground. "Well, she's stronger than me. I lost it, at some point."

"I had no doubt about that. But you've been through worse things than her. Even if we were hiding, we always had a roof on our head, a bed for rest and a comfortable Alderaanian ship to travel with. Not to mention abundant meals every day. And people willing to help us. What did you have?"

"A three square yards dark and wet cell, a steel slab as a bed, hideous food and people beating the shit out of me."

"See? You had the right to lose hope at some point. No one blames you for that."

"No one can stop me for blaming myself for that though. And for many other things." I added.

"That's the past Anakin. Forget it, get over it. Overthinking about what you've done ten years ago will not change it."

I was going to reply but Artoo interrupted us. "You should go." he beeped. "Sounds strange but even if you can't see it the sun is going down and there won't be much light in there to walk until Master Yoda's refuge."

"Are you coming with us?" asked Obi-Wan.

He turned his dome a couple of times, as if he was shaking his head. "No, I'm going to stay here and go looking for a place to park the ship, a little bit closer to his hut. But were you really thinking about staying there for the night?"

I looked at Obi-Wan. "I don't really know, I don't even know how Yoda's place looks like!"

Another long series of beeps and whistles. "He's shorter than me. Do you think he rebuilt the Jedi Temple?" with that, he returned to his computer and his tasks.

Obi-Wan and I exchanged a meaningful look. "Well, he has a point."

Five minutes later, we were ready to go. Pants neatly tucked into our boots, hoping that the thick leather would hold the water away, we were ready to face a mile of uncharted swamps. A dangerous stroll, that was sure, but according to Artoo there weren't any life forms bigger than a fish in those shallow waters. At least, the sensors didn't detect anything else bigger than that.

Still, not an easy path. The water was just ankle deep, but the river bed was slick and dangerous, every step had to be calculated, most of all for me, because of my previous injuries. I didn't feel to bad about them, those long hours of sleep, most of all those I took after the dream, had eased the pain away a little, making it bearable. Not to mention the pain med that Padmè had given me right before I fell asleep was still doing wonders on my. It dulled it so I was all functioning, most of all my brain was clear and somehow steady enough to face the fact that I was going to confess what looked like a crime to me, but logically speaking, it was just a destiny's joke.

Bad luck, basically.

Still...

"Nice place he chose as his home..." commented Padmè after ten minutes of silent walk.

"I have the feeling it has something in common with his home planet, but I never dared to ask." added Obi-WAn. He was carrying the small backpack that Padmè had prepared and moving for him was a little harder so he was a little more caustic than the usual.

"You never asked?"

"I met him only once after Mustafar, I had other things in mind those days."

We walked in silence for five minutes more in complete silence, paying special attention to the sounds and noises around us, just in case something bigger than a fish felt it was lunch time and went looking for its meal, and decided we were just what he wanted to eat. I saw Obi-Wan's hand go for his lightsaber at every suspicious noise and Padmè clutching her blaster doing the same every now and then. They were a little over worried about our surroundings, I can tell you.

What happened next scared the hell out of us.

Suddenly, as if coming out of thin air, I felt a cumbersome but still strangely known presence coming closer and closer by the moment. It really felt like it came out of nothing, like a ghost. Even if I knew ghosts didn't exist. Well, at least I thought so.

I stopped them in their tracks. "Wait a moment." I turned towards my Master. "Do you feel it?"

He looked around for a moment then closed his eyes. "Yes, I feel it. It's..."

"It's like I've felt it before!" I said.

He nodded. "Yes, the same for me. I think we're getting closer!"

Then, when we turned around and saw Master Yoda standing on a fallen trunk not twenty feet away from us. "Closer, you say?" he said, his croaking voice hadn't change a bit. "To what, I wonder!" even his basic grammar.

We all jumped a bit on our spots, startled to say the least. Padmè even let out a smothered yelp.

"Master Yoda!" snapped Obi-Wan. "You scared us!"

"Scared, Master Kenobi? A Jedi, scared must be not!"

"I know..." he said. "But the circumstances are...particular, to say the least. We're a bit high-strung, most of all Anakin."

Master Yoda slid down the trunk and gracefully landed on the muddy ground below it. "To see you, Master Skywalker, warms my heart. Passed so much time has, hope to see you I had almost lost."

I bowed respectfully as much as I could. "I am glad to see you too Master Yoda, but please, with all the due respect for you and the Council, I resigned the title of Master long ago. I didn't deserve it."

Leaning on his cane, he nodded, slowly. "Understand your decision I do yet share it I do not." he said. "Discuss this later we will. Senator Amidala, a pleasure to see you this is."

"Thank you Master Yoda. It's a honor to meet you again." she politely replied. Her senatorial attitude surfaced again for a moment then went back to the niche she had carved for that behavior.

He nodded. "Mine the honor is. But adapt this place for conversation is not. With me come. My house will do."

"Thank you Master Yoda." said Obi-Wan as we started walking again. "How far is your home?" he asked after a minute.

"Not far. Not far." he replied. We walked slowly enough not to surpass him and I had the feeling that "not far" coming from him meant actually "quite close", considering our different proportions.

Well, good for me. As I said before, I felt a little better, still walking was a little hard, considering the concussion and everything, moving was still a little tiring.

And I was right. Not too far from the place we had met him, we turned around a huge trunk and suddenly we could see a small hut, crudely built but functional. It was built for his size, which meant that both me and Obi-Wan would have had to crouch quite a lot to get inside. Padmè was a little luckier than us. She was shorter and could sneak inside without much effort.

On the other hand though, I almost renounced before I tried. The door was just above three feet of height and for me that meant literally crawling inside. And with my shoulder in that conditions, I was picturing all the possible scenarios in my head and I knew I couldn't do it. At least I couldn't do it alone!

"Ahem, I think I need some help getting in there!" I said.

Padmè and Obi-Wan exchanged a look and nodded. "I go inside, you keep him balanced alright?" he told her.

She silently nodded and sneaked her arm around my waist to keep me from falling while I gingerly moved towards the tiny entrance and bowed as much as I could. Obi-Wan was already inside and was ready to grab my healthy arm and help me crawl inside.

My chest hurt like hell. Fortunately I didn't need to use my left arm, because, luckily, my legs were both functioning (a bit wobbly, but still functioning) and I could just "walk" inside leaning on my right knee. It took me some effort, but at least I managed to get inside without falling or hurting me. Padmè entered right after I had found a place to sit.

I took a moment to look around. Master Yoda's house was tiny but it was made just for his size. There was a small niche carved into the stone that he had transformed in a bed. A stove and a small fire in a corner of the single room, a tiny table and a wooden chair beneath a window and in the opposite corner from the stove, there was something that looked like a couch or something for eventual guests. It was dusty and clearly not regularly used but it was something. Even the roof seemed to be a little taller, as if Master Yoda had built it specifically for those taller than five feet.

Master Yoda gestured us to sit right in that place while he slowly walked towards his tiny chair and sat himself. "More comfortable this place here. For you not much. But soon rain it will, over my head a roof I like." he said, a strange, crooked smile lit his greenish face.

"Definitely Master Yoda." replied Obi-Wan. "We're thankful for your hospitality."

"A pleasure it is to have you here. But why here you are?" he asked. "And why Young Skywalker like this looks?"

I smiled for a moment, thinking about the evident bandages and the immobilized arm. "It's a long story Master." I mumbled, trying to find a comfortable position. I needed to relax my neck, it hurt like hell, but I couldn't find the right spot.

He nodded. "Time we have."

I glanced at Obi-Wan who promptly took my place as narrator.

"Master Yoda, how much do you know about the events of the Empire and the Rebellion?"

Yoda shook his head. "Not much. Secluded the Force keeps me from everything."

"Well, years ago I told you about what Anakin did. He was sent to prison and he remained there for seven years."

"A long time!" interjected the old Jedi.

I nodded. "Don't tell me."

"Anyway..." started my Master. "Padmè and I did what we could to start the Rebellion. While we were hiding, we met regularly with the other Senators that form the headquarters of the Alliance and during the years we managed to create quite a big thing. We have base all around the Galaxy, some are rather big, like the one we live in, on Dantooine." he paused for a moment. "A couple of years ago Anakin managed to escape and he started looking for us. It took him some time but last year we attacked the Empire and in the end...well, here we are."

Master Yoda nodded. "Something good this is. But on you must go."

He nodded. "Yes. About a couple of months ago, correct me if I'm wrong, Anakin had a vision. About Jax Pavan."

"A friend he was if correctly remember I do."

"Yes Master. We practically grew up together."

"Yes and to make a long story short, Pavan has a daughter, her mother is Aleha Kohr, and Anakin decided to go looking for him. The problem is that also Darth Vader is looking for him and he unleashed the Inquisitors to find him."

"And caught by this Inquisitor you were."

I caught a worried expression on Padmè's face with the corner of my healthy eye. She was clutching my hand in hers so tight it almost hurt, but her closeness made me feel better.

"Anakin and I were caught. Padmè rescued us. Anakin though was beaten up, pretty bad, and the Inquisitor that caught us...well, he wanted to talk to Anakin. When they brought him back from the cell, other than a concussion and a dislocated shoulder, he was destroyed. And he asked to come here and speak to you."

"He didn't say anything." added Padmè. "Even after he had a nightmare while we were coming here."

"How do you know?"

"You were screaming like a wounded rancor. We could hear you through the closed door. We just decided to let you wake up on your own." said Obi-Wan. "We thought it would be better for you."

I sighed. Even this...it wasn't exactly who I wanted it to go. At all. Well, in the end...

I looked up at Master Yoda. He was watching me intently and I felt an uneasiness I thought I would have never experienced again. I always felt that way in front of the old Jedi Master and that hadn't changed through the years. I was waiting for his questions. I knew they were coming, and I didn't have to wait long.

"To me speak you wanted?"

"Yes Master Yoda." I replied.

"Tell me, young Skywalker, why abandon your title you did?"

I looked down and twitched the tissue of the sling through the fingers of my left hand. I was nervous. "I...I realized, while I was in prison, that I wasn't ready for it. Just that. I'm fine with Jedi Knight, really."

He nodded and leaned forward on his crane. "Good. Humility learnt you have."

"Modesty too." said Obi-Wan.

"Good. Please, go on you can."

"I...why did you allow me to become a Jedi?"

He lowered his gaze and closed his eyes. "Something in the Force feel we could. A difficult decision it was and agree I did not. Doubts I still have."

I knew it. "Doubts? About what?"

"About you. Many things obscure still are."

"My origins, for example?" I said, staring straight in his eyes.

He nodded. "Yes."

"What do you know about my origins?"

"No one anything knows. My major preoccupation it was. And yours it is now. Sense it in the Force I can."

I grabbed the tissue of my sling in my fist tightly enough for my knuckles to go white. "Yes, it is."

Both Padmè and Obi-Wan diverted from Master Yoda to me. "What are you talking about?" he asked. He was becoming more worried by the minute. "What did he tell you?"

"That a father he has not. The Inquisitor this told him."

"But that's impossible!" stated Padmè then. "It can't be, we may not know who he was but everyone has a father!t"

"Not me Padmè. I don't have a father. I...I am the result of a manipulation of the Force."

"What the fuck?" snapped my Master beside me, literally jumping on his seat.

I had never heard him curse like that. Not aloud at least. He was really upset. "Yeah, that was pretty much my reaction."

"More there is though." said Yoda then.

I held my breath for a moment before I spoke. "That's what Dalan told me. That's what upset me. That's what makes me sick right now, sick enough that I could throw up right now."

Padmè leaned closer to me and held me tightly, as if she was holding me in case I needed someone to lean on. And I definitely needed something to hold fast onto.

"I...Darth Plagueis, Palpatine's Master, is behind this. Practically he manipulated the midichlorians in order to create life. He his responsible for me being here. From a certain point of view, he's my father. I am the son of a Sith."

* * *

_Eeeeek, I did it! Finally! Took me forever, but line after line I managed to finish this. Heck, I need stress to write. I need to be stressed, I work a lot better and a lot faster. Apparently, I'm too relaxed. Ok, I'll go back to extreme metal, apparently, my fixation with Florence And The Machine doesn't do me good. Where's my Hordes Of Chaos CD? Need some Kreator!_

_Anyway, I have the feeling this is a little confused, I really hope it works because this part of the story is very important for everything that will happen, most of all the next chapter. I hope you liked it and, well, see ya next time! Love ya all!_


	26. Crowded Desert

_Alright, just a tiny warning: this is a hard chapter. Not because it involves something strange, but because it consists pretty much in continuous dialogue. There's no action or anything like that, all the characters remain in the same place and well, it doesn't happen much, but it's essential for the rest of the story. But...those who follow me since Over the hills know that this night is somehow special. Exactly one year ago I posted a very important chapter, didn't I? Well, I did the same this year. So, have fun and Merry Christmas to all of you!_

* * *

**Chapter 26 – Crowded Desert**

"_...I am the son of a Sith."_

Even the swamp outside seemed to stand still for endless seconds after I spoke those words. The current of the shallow waters running just outside the hut stopped swirling, the insects dampened their chirping and all the animals stopped their cries all of a sudden.

Apparently, not even the universe was ready to face what I had to say. How could I be ready then?

Master Yoda didn't show any emotion, but Obi-Wan held his breath for long moments before he let out a long, deep sigh and ran his hands through his hair, completely stunned and unable to understand what I had just revealed. He looked outside the small window at his left just in time to catch the tail lights of our ship as Artoo flew over Yoda's house while looking for a closer place to leave the ship.

On the other hand, Padmè, after a moment of stiffness beside me, she just held my healthy hand tighter and leaned her cheek on my shoulder. "That's what bothered you." she stated, quite matter of factly.

"Well, bother is a bit of an understatement..." I tried to joke and dampen the tension. Didn't work really well.

"But...is it even possible?" snapped Obi-Wan. He was totally dumbstruck. He definitely couldn't believe it and I was the last in line that could blame him. "Master, you're the one that saw pretty much everything in the Galaxy, do you think it's even possible?"

We all looked at Master Yoda as he closed his big eyes for a moment and then nodded. "Possible I think it is."

I knew Obi-Wan was the most upset of us. I had known that for hours, I had calmed down a little, even if I felt as if my guts were being held under an industrial press that just kept squeezing me relentlessly, and the breaking point was getting closer and closer. It amazed me that I could still hold on that well. I wondered how long I could just work like that before I exploded.

I stretched my legs and tried to find a more comfortable position before looking up at my Master for the first time since we had entered Master Yoda's house. He was more than upset, distraught... he was definitely hurt. Just like me, as soon as he had heard what I had to say, he had hoped Master Yoda could deny what Dalan had said, but, just like me, he had found out that in the end he had nothing to say. Or, better, he had nothing that could cancel all our doubts.

Nothing.

Pretty much what I had in that moment. Nothing.

Sure, I had Padmè and the kids, but the hole I had inside... the hole Sidious had created during thirteen years of treachery, well, I had the feeling it would never close. Never. And that it was getting bigger.

"But... how can it be?" he asked again, this time a little quieter than before. "How?"

Yoda shook his head "This I do not know. Infinite the ways of the Force are. Even to me."

"Come on it's impossible! How can anyone control and manipulate the midichlorians so precisely to actually create life out of nothing? We're not talking about taking a sample of genetic material from a bounty hunter and create an army of clones, we're talking about getting a huge amount of midichlorians and make them collide into a new human being!" he snapped. I had never seen him so upset.

"Master Kenobi, already told you I have. This thing know I do not. No one know this answer could."

"But there must be a logical explanation!" he raised his voice for the first time since...well, since I was a teenager.

"Calm down Master." I told him. I needed him to keep calm or I would lost it, really. "No need to shout. Really, it's fine."

He shook his head and ran his hands through his hair and then rubbed his eyes forcefully, as if trying to take sleep out of himself. He took a deep breath and sagged a bit on his seat. He was more upset than me. Really.

"No Anakin it's not fine! You cannot drop a bombshell like this and think you can go away with it!"

"I don't want to go away with it! It's just that you don't have to be that upset! Just... just calm down a little, OK? Don't think this isn't hard for me!"

"I never said that Anakin it's just that I can't understand, that's all!"

I tried to suppress a smirk, but only managed to feel all the right side of my face, the bruised and bleeding side, tear like a stretched piece of cloth. And it hurt like hell. The result was a strange expression, a mix of pain and amusement, that didn't express any of them. "I can relate, Master."

A faint smile lit his face, but his long beard made it hard to see it. "I guess you can."

It was Padmè's time to speak then. "Master Yoda, do you have at least a theory that could explain what this Inquisitor said?" she was worried. And that was evident, even if I hadn't been Force Sensitive. But she could still maintain a minimum of sanity. She would have made a great Jedi.

Again, Master Yoda waited a moment before speaking. "Many theories about this I have. Too many. Sense only one makes." he made a long, meaningful pause, tightening his grip on his cane. "The truth saying he was."

"No!" Obi-Wan was a step away from losing it. "It can't be! He can't be! I've seen him, he can't be born out of the Dark Side! I've seen him with the others, with the younglings and his subordinate! He's not like that!"

"Then like what is he?"

"He's calm, quiet. He's tamed! He's not the irrational young man you knew Master Yoda! Look at him! What do you see?"

"Worried he is. Upset. Of wickedness, signs I don't feel."

"Then you can see it too! He can't be born out of the Dark Side, he can't be! He's not intrinsically evil!"

A long moment of silence fell among us.

"I could have become evil though. There were moments... many moments, I did consider it though." I said after a while.

"But you didn't."

A voice I had thought I would have never heard again echoed in the cramped space. All of us, even Master Yoda, turned towards the door of the house. A ghostly figure filled the space, encircled by a blue hue that shined in the darkness behind him. The light coming from the fire inside didn't reflect on that figure. In fact, he was translucent and we all could see through that image.

Master Jinn's image.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing right in front of me. Hunched to fit the space of the door, still with his light Jedi robes and cloak, stood his shadow. As if he had come back from the Underworld. For a moment, I though I had gone mad or that the head trauma had damaged my brain so much that I was hearing, and seeing, things.

I rubbed my healthy eye with one hand and looked again. Still there. Padmè held her breath and Obi-Wan gasped aloud.

"Is it the concussion or I've gone crazy?" I asked, staring at the... well, the ghost.

"No Anakin don't worry. You're perfectly healthy." he said. His voice was strange, it kind of echoed as if he was talking in a large cave or more likely the great halls of the Jedi Temple. "Except for the physical wounds, but that's another matter. Is there enough space for me, Master Yoda?"

Master Yoda, completely at ease with everything that was going on, as if he saw Master Jinn's ghost every day since the beginning of the Empire, showed him a sort of chair made of strange wood. "Come, Master Jinn. A pleasure your visit is."

He hunched a bit more and sneaked in. he was the tallest of us all and had quite a lot of problems, even if he didn't have a bodily form anymore. "Excuse me..." he said. "The joys of being this tall." gingerly, he sat down and sighed, turning towards his old Padawan. "Obi-Wan, you've changed since the last time I saw you!"

I turned towards him and saw him opening and closing his mouth a couple of times before taking a deep breath and hold it, while he tried to gather his thoughts. "Can someone explain me what's going on here?" was all he could muster. "Just a little hint so I can understand why my deceased Master is now talking to me?"

Master Yoda laughed for a moment but it was Master Jinn that answered. "Many things happened in the last thirty two years. You've seen some of them. Some others, you haven't. This is one of the things you haven't. This is one of the things you couldn't witness."

"But what exactly is this?" asked Padmè.

"It's a really long story and we don't want to lose time hearing how I learned to detach myself from the Living Force and interact again with the living, it's complicated and believe me, boring. Both to hear and tell. We've got more urgent matters to discuss. I've heard a couple of things while coming here. Nothing concrete, but if Anakin's in this shape, it must be important. By the way, what happened?"

"I had a nasty encounter with the Imperial Inquisitors. Nothing I can't handle."

"Oh I know, I've helped you heal for years when you were in prison! You can deal worse!"

Again, the smirk that unconsciously made its way on my face made my bruised skin hurt. "It was you?"

He nodded. "Yes. I tried to help you as much as I could and I was still working on this. I could only act if I knew perfectly well where you were. Once you got out, I couldn't help you anymore then."

I nodded. So I had a logical explanation for the sudden inability to use the Force to heal myself. It was never a conscious act, but an external intervention. "I understand. And I'm thankful for what you did."

"I see you managed to survive even without my help. And of course it's a pleasure to meet you again, Queen Amidala."

She smiled, slightly embarrassed by the use of her old epithet from so long ago. "I'm no longer Queen of Naboo, Master Jinn, but the pleasure is mine. Even if it's a little scary!"

"Well, it's understandable. I've been dead for longer than twenty years, it would scare anyone! It certainly scared Master Yoda when I first appeared here."

He nodded. "Scared the exact word is not."

"And what would it be?" asked Obi-Wan, apparently out of his dumbstruck phase.

"Terrified."

A sudden burst of hilarity filled the cramped space, and we all found ourselves laughing out loud as if we didn't have a single problem in the Galaxy. As if the Empire didn't exist. As if I had never dropped that bomb, not half an hour before.

The sole presence, even if not in bodily form, of Master Jinn helped us calm down a little and set our minds to a better state to reason and think straight. Or at least a little bit.

But soon we all regained our composure and Master Jinn spoke again. "So, you managed to do a lot of things in these years. All of you! What you did last year on Daltarra was amazing, I swear I had never seen anything like that from a clandestine resistance group. Absolutely wonderful. Not to mention the way you handed that encounter with Vader, you did behave like a true Jedi."

"Looks like you've been watching over him for quite some time!" said Obi-Wan.

"Since I managed to get out of the oblivion of the Living Force. Took me a while, but ever since what happened on Tatooine, twelve years ago, I've always been there."

I lowered my gaze and stared down at the floor. "Oh..." was everything I could muster.

Obi-Wan placed a hand on my healthy shoulder and gently squeezed it. "Don't worry Anakin. It's the past. Don't worry about it."

"I know. It just...disgusts me. Even after so many years."

"I'm not going to lecture you about that episode Anakin." continued Master Jinn. "You were nothing more than a boy and you still needed guidance. Someone else is to blame for that. Not you. You were only a pawn in that moment. Understood?"

"Understood." I replied. "You know, I have vague recollections of that night but I think I heard your voice at some point. I thought it was only a joke of my over-worked mind."

"Oh no, it wasn't. I was really trying to tell you not to do it. You just didn't listen."

"I wish I had though."

"Hey, I told you, don't worry about that anymore!" repeated my Master. He was incredible understanding, everything considered.

I dared to look straight at Qui Gon and I knew he was going to say something else, and that I probably wouldn't like it. But in the end, I didn't have any right to complain.

He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. "You have to tell them, you know that, don't you?"

I instinctively knew what he was referring to. My dreams. Those about Padmè's death and what I had come to know through that drunken nightmare more than a year before. It was still a burden I was carrying all alone, violating the pact between me and my wife of sharing everything that regarded us. I still thought that was a weight I had to bear. Not her. She didn't need to know, from my point of view.

I still felt like it was my duty to protect her, even if she was more than capable to protect herself, most of all, she was perfectly able to shield herself from the crap I did. She had always been, ever since we had met on Tatooine. If she hadn't slapped me the same moment I told her I had never won a race, well, I doubted she would ever done it. She knew how to compartmentalize. I didn't.

That was one of the major differences with us.

"I don't want to." I replied. Stern, concise. Almost harsh.

"Anakin, I thought you had learnt the lesson. You can't just keep it for yourself. You have to tell them, most of all, your wife. She deserves to know."

Her fingers held me tighter for a moment. "Know what?" she asked softly.

"Nothing." I stubbornly kept denying. "It's nothing Padmè, don't worry about it."

He sighed and twitched his beard through his fingers, just like Obi-Wan did each time he was frustrated or thoughtful. In fact, he was doing it right in that moment, mirroring his old Master. The only difference was that Obi-Wan used to torment the thick hair underneath his chin, while Qui Gon was more fond of the underside of his throat.

"Anakin, I know you only want to protect your loved ones from what you think it's a shame, believe me, I understand! But you can't go on like this. The seven years in prison helped you to blunt some edges of your character, it's evident, but you and Padmè swore to each other that you would always been sincere to one another. And you're not being sincere right now. If you're not going to tell her, I will, right now."

"You can't do it." I growled.

"Try me!"

"That's my problem." I snapped. "My flaw. My shame. She has nothing to do with it. It's not relevant for our life together. We're happy this way, I can deal with that alone!"

He looked at me like a worried parent looks down at his son or daughter. "Anakin, you can't be serious! How can this not affect your life together?"

"What do you want me to say? That last year when I was smashed drunk because I was depressed I had a vision of what would have happened if I would have turned to the Dark Side, nine years ago? That I would choke her to death on Mustafar just because I was too blinded to see that she just wanted to help me? Because that's what I saw that night! I saw that I myself would have been the cause of my fall, my ruin. The point of no return, my consecration to the Dark Side! The act that would have denied me deliverance forever! That's what I saw! And considering what Dalan told me just twelve hours ago, well, I think I had a very big chance to make it happen!"

Again, a thick, tensed silence fell in the room, interrupted only by my ragged breathing and the random sobbing that made its way out of my chest, totally uncontrollable.

After my blow off, I just sagged on my seat, snatching my hand out of Padmè's and hit my face behind it.

I just wanted to die in that moment so I would not have to deal with the aftermath of that reveleation.

I mean, two huge things like that could give a heart attack to anyone in a split second.

Consider that I had to tell my wife that I could have possibly killed her not ten years before, well, I just wanted to die so she would get rid of me and my issues. She would have been better without me.

It was only a couple of minutes later, or from my perspective, two hours, that she came up with the craziest answer I could ever expect.

She smiled.

Really. I'm not fucking around. I remember it perfectly, she freaking smiled.

And not a sad smile, that kind of smile you have stamped on your face when you think about something sad about your past or something like that.

A full blown smile.

She placed her hand on my knee and patted it lovingly. "And you think I didn't realize it?"

I dared to look at her through my fingers. "What?"

She grabbed my wrist and pulled my hand away from my face, so she could look at me straight in my eyes. "Anakin, sometimes I have the feeling you underestimate me. When you came back from the mission on the Invisible Hand I knew you were upset. I didn't need to be a Jedi to know it. That, the war, me telling you I was pregnant and everything... you were shaken, I could see it! All those months of you tossing and turning around in our bed, the insomnia and the nightmares, well, I didn't spent them just trying to stop Palpatine to get where he is now." she was calm and peaceful, as if she was talking about programming a vacation in the Lake District on Naboo. "I had time to think. And since I was healthy and everything, I couldn't have died just for a childbirth complication. It had to be an external agent. But no one was chasing me, or trying to kill me like before the beginning of the war and you were so nervous and acting hectic at the time, that it was the only reasonable idea I came up with!"

"Then why didn't you tell me?"

"It wasn't until after the kids were born that I realized it. And once the Council named you Master, you stopped having nightmares and behaving strange. I just dropped it. I had other stuff to care about."

"That's sure..." added Obi-Wan.

"I... I just don't understand. Why last year? Why did that vision come last year? Why not when I needed to know that if I kept going on that way I would do it?" I asked Qui Gon.

"I cannot answer that Anakin. The Force is still as mysterious as it was before I died. The fact that I can now take advantage of it to interact with you now didn't change that. But I can probably guess that nine years ago it was up to you alone to decide your path. With no external intervention. Or your nightmares about her death were a warning shot of what would happen if you kept walking on that path. Probably that vision came to you in that particular night last year because you needed it. You had a lot of visions during your stay on Dxun, and not all of them were pleasant. They were possibly part of your... let's say your recovery process. Those years in jail hurt you, they left scars on you, not only on your body. There were things you needed to know at that point of that process."

Master Yoda decided to intervene in that moment. "Changed something since that moment has?" he asked.

I nodded again. "Yes. I... well, I woke up in the middle of a panic attack and that roused some of the guys who lived with me at the base. The same that had put me in my bunk the night before, when I finally stopped throwing up even my last meal at the Jedi Temple. In the middle of my drunken state I let my real identity slip and my reaction when I woke up, I mean, the whole screaming and running away thing forced me to tell them the story of how I ended there."

"So you basically stopped lying all the time then." continued my Master.

"Yes, you can say that." I replied. "Not to everyone, it was a small circle of trusted friends, you know some of them, Haron, Dakk, those guys. I knew I could trust them."

"And how did you feel after that?" asked Qui Gon.

I took my time before answering that question. I had never really thought about it. I was depressed, and I mean clinically depressed, with the whole list of symptoms like lack of sleep, diminished hunger, stuff like that, and then there was the shame for what I now knew could have happened and...

"Well, after I told them the story I actually felt a little better. I had the chance to talk to someone freely, without having to weight every single word I said because one tiny detail could throw my cover up out of the window. I felt relieved." I told him.

Beside me, I caught Padmè stirring a little before releasing a sight of relief. She ran her free hand through her hair a couple of times. She didn't look too good.

Suddenly, the ghost of her sickness hit me again. I had totally forgot about it, with everything going on in my head.

"Hey you alright?" I asked her, barely whispering.

"Yeah, sure, don't worry. I'm perfectly fine." she whispered back, before briefly kissing my cheek.

"You can see it by yourself then." continued Master Jinn, "That vision helped you open up with your friends and it gave you a motive more to become a better person. Look at you know! Husband, father, friend, teacher. You're more than any normal man could hope to be in a lifetime, you learnt how to do that in less than a year."

"Easy task that was not."

"Exactly. Now, do you understand that the vision you had about Vader killing your wife was just a vision and nothing more? It didn't happen and it cannot happen anymore. Those days are gone Anakin. Stop blaming yourself for something you haven't done."

I was starting developing a splitting headache just trying to follow him. I had come there for answers about a totally different matter.

I was about to ask him why he wanted me to tell them about that dream when Obi-Wan did it for me.

"Master, I don't want to sound rude but just before you arrived, Anakin had brought up the matter that drove us here. And even if I appreciate the fact that you practically forced him to crack up a little bit about the year he spent out of prison, of which he rarely talks to anyone, I think that his questions and doubts need to be answered soon enough, because they are becoming _my_ questions and _my_ doubts."

Master Jinn straightened on his seat and took a deep breath. Or at least he looked like he took a deep breath, I mean, he was a ghost, I doubt ghosts can breathe and everything but I knew he did. "Right, you're right. I... well, alright. That's why I came here in first place."

"Then you already know what Dalan and I discussed."

"Yes, I do. I actually witnessed the meeting he had with the Emperor about a week ago."

"Anything about it to say have you?" asked Master Yoda.

"Yes. Excuse the vulgarity but that's a whole lot of bullshit. It's not possible to do something like creating life out of midichlorians alone. Not from so far away!"

"What do you mean?" asked Padmè.

"It means that Darth Plagueis was just bragging about it. I've thought about this for a long time. Ever since I heard the Emperor say those words. It simply doesn't make sense. As Jedi, we are used to manipulate the Force, as much as the Sith do, but we never interact directly with the midichlorians. Do we?"

Obi-Wan nodded. "No, we just count them as a test for Force Sensitive children, that's all. We never interact directly with them."

"Exactly. Because we can't!" he was gesticulating like a smuggler trying to sell some stolen parts in a junk shop. "No one can. The midichlorians are adamant, they cannot be moved. They decide when move. And we can't do anything about it."

"So..." started Padmè. "You don't believe in what Dalan said because of..."

"Because of my personal experience with the Force and everything regarding it. And believe me, I know what I'm talking about. I literally live in it right at the moment."

I was hoping for answers, I was getting more and more doubts by the moment. And that headache was getting worse.

"When we arrived I felt like a monster, now I'm so confused I can't even remember how old I am. Can someone please tell me where the hell I come from?" I asked a bit more forcefully that I had intended.

Every Jedi in that room exchanged a quite worried look. It was Qui Gon that answered. "We can't. At least, we can't know for sure."

"That means that Sidious could be right! That even if his Master didn't have anything to do with my... well, with my life, I was actually born out of the Dark Side of the Force, that I am bound to turn and become one of them!" I snapped.

"Anakin, calm down." he replied, as calm as ever. "I didn't say anything like that. We cannot know for sure what happened. But I have a theory. Care to hear it?"

I was open to dumb ideas right then. "Sure."

"I think that you were born because the Force decided you had to. That it needed you. And you were born. I also think that when you were actually conceived by the action of the Force, and I'm not talking about any Side of the Force, I'm referring to the Force itself, the neutral thing... anyway, the same moment you were conceived echoed in the Force, like an explosion, and that he felt it. He was probably trying to do something like that, and he thought he had succeeded. And then bragged about it with Sidious. That's it. That's my theory."

It made sense. A bit confused, but it made sense. Until Padmè found a flaw in his logic.

"Excuse me Master Jinn, I know I'm not entitled to enter this kind of conversation since I don't know anything about the Force but I know something about human reproduction. As much as I would really love to think that your theory is the correct one, but biologically speaking, it doesn't make sense."

He nodded. "I know. But biologically speaking, the Force itself doesn't make sense, don't you think?" he replied.

She thought about it for a moment then nodded. "I have to agree with that."

Still, I had more doubts than certainties. "That doesn't explain why I've always lived on the edge of turning. If that's not the influence of the Dark Side since my birth then I don't know what to say!"

"That depends on you, not on how you were born Anakin." he threw quite a scornful look at Yoda then. "And the Council's actions too. You've never lived an easy life Anakin. Never. First the slavery, then me snatching you away from your mother just to throw you in a world you weren't ready to face... I'm to blame for a part of it too. You've never been treated like you should have been. Some feared your potential, and they held you back."

"I know, Obi-Wan told me last year." I said. "I... well, it's not like I didn't know it. I've known it since the beginning, and believe me, it still hurts."

"I know Anakin. And I can tell you that your closeness to the Dark Side of the Force depends on what happened in your life. And your temper. You've never been the easiest person to deal with Anakin, you know that."

I chuckled, trying to smother it as much as I could. "You're right. I'm still quite a handful actually!"

Padmè nudged me with her elbow. "Oh come on, stop it! That's absolutely not true!"

"Hey, try not to talk like my wife. You're not impartial." I replied. "I'm still quite hard to deal with. Most of all if I get angry."

"Or drugged..." added Obi-Wan.

I hid my face behind my hand again, suddenly embarrassed by the memories he brought up. "Master, please..."

"He's right Anakin. You can be quite bothersome when you're under the influence of... what was that?"

"It was the anesthesia. I had just undergone a quite massive life saving surgery please... I didn't say that on purpose!"

I caught a faint smile on Master Jinn's face. "But don't you see Anakin? Can't you see what you can be? You have the potential to be anything you want! I already told you, how many things have you learned to be during the past two years? Father, husband, commander, friend! You have an unlimited potential, but that potential has been developed in both ways, both on the Light and the Dark Side of the Force."

"Does that mean that I'm halfway through with becoming a Sith?" I asked.

He shook his head, hard enough for his long hair to move too. "No, it means that you've reached a balance in your life. You have a sort of equilibrium that allows you to walk on the edge but never fall. When was the last time you felt yourself falter to the Dark Side?"

"The Invisible Hand." I answered instantly, not even thinking about it. I was sure it was the last time. The period of my nightmares didn't count. I had doubts, but I never felt the creepy feeling of coolness that took possession of me when I felt the Dark Side getting closer. And when I was made Master, when I actually had everything I wanted in my life, I never felt it again. Yes, the Invisible Hand, the moment I killed Dooku.

"And that means how long? Nine years?"

"Almost ten." corrected Master Yoda.

"Thank you Master. Almost ten years. It means that for a third of your life you've been far away from the Dark Side of the Force. Even while you were in jail, you kept a strong grip on your self control, more than any other Jedi could have ever done. That's because you can do it, you have the capability and the potentiality to keep control. You're a crowded desert Anakin!"

And that what the hell meant?

"A crowded desert?" I asked, puzzled. "Master, I don't understand, a desert can't be crowded!"

"I know. It's an oxymoron, but it explains pretty much who you are. And what you can be. Being born out of the Force itself, and now I'm sticking with my theory because it's the only one with a bit of logic, you can be anything you want, but at the same time, you can be nothing at all. You want to be a Jedi, there, you can be the best Jedi that ever existed. You decide you want to be a Sith, there, you can be one, probably the best in their ranks too. You wanted to be a husband, her husband actually, and you are now. How is he doing?" he asked Padmè.

She smiled, even though I noticed a bit of suffering in her expression. "He's the best. A dream come true. I'm the luckiest woman in the Galaxy, just because I have him at my side. And he's a great father too. He learned how to be firm but still be loving and caring all following his instincts."

He nodded. "There you go. Now do you understand why I said you're a crowded desert? Because you can be everything. You can turn Tatooine to the most populated planet of the Galaxy if you want! You really have that potential. You just need to find a way to develop it."

"I thought I had already showed it."

"Glimpses. Sparks here and there. The way you battled on Geonosis, both times, Christophsis, those seven years on Blenjeel, multiple times, Daltarra and I can't even recall all those moments you were absolutely great. But they were moments. Just snapshots of something even greater than that. And you can be greater than this. There's something more than this Anakin, there's another Anakin Skywalker, somewhere inside you, and that's the crowded desert I'm talking about. You just need to find a way to unleash him."

I remained silent for a second, rubbing my temple hard trying to get rid of that annoying headache that was keeping me from thinking straight.

I didn't understand anything.

Nothing.

It was just a huge black void that kept becoming bigger and bigger each time I let someone in that room speak.

Except for Padmè of course. I doubted she could understand anything of what they were saying. But at least her presence was calming me, keeping me leveled. I held her hand tightly and I found somehow a refuge, a shelter from all my problems and suffering.

"It's strange. I came here looking for answers and all I got are uncertain theories and strange metaphors. And still I feel like a monster. Can you tell me why?"

"Because you're a mess my former Padawan." suddenly replied Obi-Wan, managing to tear a smile out of me.

"Well, my former Master, if I were just the average Jedi, then we would never have had fun!"

He shook his head. "Definitely. But really, stop considering yourself a monster. You're not a Hutt! You're not evil. Listen now, however you were born, it's not this that defines who you are. The things you've done do."

"Obi-Wan is right." continued Master Jinn. "You came here asking for our opinions, you didn't keep it for yourself as you would have done years ago. Stop underestimating yourself."

"I'll try. Still... I don't know. It's just that with everything I went through I feel like I've always been crushed between two massive weights that have kept closing on me. It's like, for every step forward I took, I also sunk deep into something that is now holding me prisoner, like quicksands."

"To hang on strong rope you have. Friends to you close are. An anchor allow them to be." added Master Yoda. He was strangely silent, he had been for the whole meeting. He observed everything going on around him though, paying much attention to small details, concentrating more on the flow of the Force around us more than the actual words.

But most of all, he looked at Padmè. More than once I found him staring, no, better, contemplating her, studying every movement and every words she said. As if something attracted him, as if he was compelled to do. They had always had a strong respect for each other, years before Padmè had told me that he admired Master Yoda for his strong faith in his beliefs, and it was common knowledge that Padmè was one of the few politicians that he didn't consider enemy of the Order.

They were somewhat similar, from certain points of view.

Still, there was something that I couldn't quite understand. But I have to admit that I was too upset to concentrate enough to clearly feel the Force around me. I was blinded, for a short period of time.

I was about to reply, to tell them that they were right, that there was no way to find out for sure if the Emperor was right or if Master Jinn was. That I couldn't let my past guide my present and that my future was still open to me and not designed by some twisted plot of creating life out of nothing when suddenly I caught a sharp movement with the corner of my eye.

Padmè was leaning forward and covering her mouth with one hand. She was pale, sickly pale actually. She didn't look good. She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment and before I could ask here what was going on, she sprung out of the small house and ran out in the swamp.

I felt my stomach in my throat, I suddenly couldn't breathe straight. That wasn't nothing. Damn it!

"Excuse me..." I gingerly stood up and crawled outside myself, then ran after her.

I found her not ten yards away, leaning against a thick tree and retching her guts out, a hand holding her hair out of her face. I sprinted at her side, even though it made my head spin a little, and put a hand on her back. "Padmè, what's going on?"

She heaved a couple of times more then took a deep breath and stood up straight. Still pale, but straight. "I... I don't know Anakin. I suddenly felt this strong wave of nausea and I had to get away from that place, or I swear to the Gods I would have made a mess."

"This isn't normal Padmè, you can't keep denying it. You're sick and I'm scared to death right now. We have to return to Dantooine, you need to be checked on."

I saw something on her face, a sudden change of expression. Her eyes lit up, but her face tightened, as if all her facial muscles had turned to stone. Then, she sighed heavily and hid her face in her hands, before running her fingers through her hair, pulling it away from her face.

"I think I know what's going on."

I held my breath for a couple of seconds. "What? Please tell me it's not dangerous for you!"

She shook her head. "No, I... I actually been through this before. Years ago."

"When? What happened?" I was a step away from a panic attack.

"A little less than ten years ago. It turned out I was just fine." she made a long pause and breathed again, slow and deep, to calm herself down. "Anakin, last time I've been sick like this, I was pregnant."

* * *

_I'm cruel, I know. I'm a monster, a sadist, I know that too. But it's Christmas and wanted to give you something special. Some of you had guessed it, some others already knew but kept it secret and...well, you'll see what happened. I just hope the whole thing works fine because it's a very important chapter, possibly the most important up to now, in the whole arch of the story. Anakin is coming to terms with who he is, for real this time, and this is the beginning of a new path. He needs to accept who he is fully, good and bad things alike. _

_Well, we'll see if he can make it. Hope you liked it and again, spend a happy holiday with your families and friends and see you in 2012! love ya all!_


	27. A Sheepless Shepherd

**Chapter 27 – A Sheepless Shepherd**

"_...last__time__I've__been__sick__like__this,__I__was__pregnant._"

It felt like the air had suddenly turned into a thick liquid, making it impossible to breathe. It... I just couldn't believe my ears.

"What?" I stammered, totally unable to think straight. Dumbest question ever.

She took a deep breath and stood straight again. "Anakin, don't panic, I'm not saying that I'm pregnant again, I mean, I cannot be sure right now."

"But I... I thought we..."

I was confused. In less than a day I had been through so much that I could barely remember how old I was. This was just too much. I just couldn't take it anymore. In the last year I had reached a sort of balance that allowed me to be happy with my life, and now everything had just crumbled to pieces.

I had come for answers, I only got more doubts.

And now this?

She put her hand on my shoulder and shook me just enough to get me out of the state of numbness that had pervaded me. "Hey, Anakin, calm down. It's no big deal!"

"But Padmè... I thought that..."

"What?"

Yeah, what was I thinking?

Good question.

My mind was a mass of jumbling thoughts that kept piling up on each other and I just couldn't decide what I was really thinking. I kept going up and down my life, scanning every moment I had lived, just like I had done for the previews hours. But right in that moment I kept having flashbacks about everything Padmè and I went through together, but most of all those hellish days I kept seeing scenes of us with the kids. We were happy, the four of us, and everything had changed in a moment.

I couldn't believe it was happening so fast.

Then, after interminable moments, I came up with a single coherent thought.

"I thought you didn't want any more kids, we've always been careful...how could that happen?"

Smiling, she shook her head and sighed. "Anakin, last year we've been having the same conversation. These things happen, Anakin. We've been careful, that's right, but you know, biology sometimes gets to win over precautions." she explained, her tone was soft and calm, as if she was speaking to an upset kid. Nice choice, because I felt like a kid. A very upset kid. "And I already told you. I'm not sure. I can't be!"

"What does that mean?"

"It means..." she paused for a moment and gathered her thoughts. "It means that all these symptoms... they can mean everything and nothing at all. A very nasty flu, the stress of the trip, a pregnancy... Anakin, these are very common symptoms and I'm not going to jump to conclusions because last time I felt like this."

"But..."

"But nothing. Calm down. You've already have enough to care about right now. I can't tell for sure if I'm pregnant OK? I need a pregnancy test to be completely sure!"

I nodded and sighed. "And I guess you didn't find one in the first aid kit on the ship."

She shook her head. "Exactly. Now, man up and don't worry about it. We've got more important things to take care of, alright?"

I nodded. But there was something I had to ask. "Are you OK with it?"

She looked up at me and her face changed, became serious and her smile disappeared. "We're not sure if I'm pregnant or not. I told you."

"I know, I understand, but _if_you're pregnant, for real, are you OK with it?"I asked again. "Are you OK with having another baby?"

She took a step forward and hugged me, tightly, but not enough to hurt me. "Yes."

"Sure?"

She nodded. "Yes Anakin, I'm sure. I know what I told you last year, that I didn't want anymore kids, but I have the right to change my mind, haven't I?"

"I never said you couldn't change your mind. I was just..."

Looking up, she pressed her fingers against my lips and shushed me. "I know what you were thinking. And I know why you've asked. You have all the rights to. Just... just trust me. Let's try to understand what's happening to you, OK? This is more important."

"Padmè, you can't be serious. We're talking about your health, I might have not been present when you were pregnant with Luke and Leia but I know pregnant women must take care of themselves. I'm not that dense. Either you're pregnant or not, you can't stay here. I won't risk the life of our child just because I have issues. This is more important than me."

She leaned against me and laid her head on my chest. She chuckled, softly, then smiled, wide. "And you still have doubts about who you are..."

I stepped back a bit and looked down at her. "What?"

"We've discussed this for how long? An hour, back in there with Master Jinn? You're not sure about who you are and well, right now, I can tell you who you are. You're my husband, the father of my children, the most wonderful and caring man of the Galaxy, who happens to be a Jedi, an incredible one, a man that has always fought for what he thought was right. A man that had to go through too many things that changed him. That's who you are. A complicated man, but still, you're the man I love. And what you just said just marks my point."

I leaned closer and kissed her forehead. "Padmè, I meant that. At this point, I don't really care about Jax. He took care of himself for nine years, he can do it for some time more. This comes first."

She shook her head, "No. I've already told you. I am not sure. And I won't let you abandon this, not now that we're so close. This can wait. I won't launch into troubles from now on, just in case. OK?"

"Promise me, please."

"I swear. I swear I won't jump into troubles. But don't hang on the hope that I might be pregnant for real, OK? I'm not that young anymore, changes are not that high!"

"A man can hope..." I hugged her tightly.

"Sure you can." a long moment of silence followed. "You asked me if I was OK with it. But what about you? Are you OK with all of this?"

"Padmè I... I am. Yes, I really am. Actually, it would be awesome!" suddenly, as I realized that we could actually have another baby in a few months, well, I felt a surge of happiness starting right from my chest and bursting out in a wide smile. "This time I would be here for real!"

"You would get all the dirty job!"

"Don't care. I'll wake up at night, change diapers... everything I'll have do to. We can even move away from Dantooine if you want. Find our own place. And finally live as a family."

"Your enthusiasm is encouraging. But we'll have time to discuss this. And more appropriate situations. Let's get back in there, they'll wonder what we're doing out here!"

"Do we have to?" I whined a little.

She nodded. "Yes. We have. We have to deal with your problem now. After that, I really need to get to some sleep, and I think that after what happened in the last fourteen hours, I deserve it."

"Sure. You're absolutely right. The sooner we get over this, the better. I really want to go back to Dantooine now."

"Good, now let's get back inside. They must be worried."

Slowly, as if we both wanted to avoid that moment, we returned to Master Yoda's hut and crawled in. My headache had subsided just enough to be bearable and everything hurt a little bit less. I didn't know if it was because I was a little more relaxed or because of the sudden happiness from knowing that we could have another kid in a matter of months. I just felt a little better. And I wanted to get over this as soon as I could, just to set foot on that ship again and follow our lead and find Jax. I just wanted to go home and live my life.

"Everything alright?" asked Obi-Wan.

"Sure. " promptly replied Padmè. "I just needed some air. I think I caught a virus at the swoop bike arena. I've been a little queasy for a couple of days now. Nothing to worry about."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Don't worry. As I told Anakin, we have more important things to do, and to discuss. He's the one looking for answer. He's the one that needs your attentions. Not me."

"Your words wise are. Your concern understandable is. What to say have you, young Skywalker?"

I took a deep breath before I answered. "The sooner we get this done, the better. That's it. I just want to get out of here, with something to hold on."

"How do you feel?" asked Master Jinn, still twitching his beard.

At hearing his question, the tiny light of hope dissolved like sparks on a stony ground. I still felt like crap, for all I could say, but I wasn't going to express my feelings that way. After all, I was still facing Master Yoda and Master Jinn, I had to measure my words.

"Right now, I feel like a ticking bomb. I feel like I can explode any moment. And I feel like I the tiniest thing can make me explode and at that point I could not control my actions. Stress doesn't do me good, and we know it. But this is a little more than stress. It's really making me doubt everything."

"And you're right. You have all the rights to be confused, angry and whatsoever. No one will blame you for that. Right, Master Yoda?" he shot a deadly glare to the old Jedi Master, who just nodded and looked up at me. It was strange, seeing him so calm and passive. Ten years before he would have steadfastly refused to remain silent like this. Master Jinn was saying things in complete contrast to his views, but still, he let him talk. Apparently, things had changed even in that department.

"Right. What you now have to understand, is that whatever Sidious thinks about you, about your origins and your destiny and all that crap, that's what he think. It's not the absolute truth. No one knows the truth about you. At least about your origins. We know who you are now, but it's not defined by what this Inquisitor told you. Alright?"

I nodded. It seemed like it was the only action I could do. I looked at Padmè and she smiled for a moment, squeezing my thigh. "You know, I never thought I would say this again but, right now, I feel like the Black and White Knight."

And I wasn't lying.

But Padmè's reaction startled me.

"The Black and White Knight?" she aked.

"Yes, it's the protagonist of an old fairy tale, my mother used to tell it when I was little, before I went to sleep."

"Yes, I know it, it was one of my favorite fairy tales when I was a kid!"

That was new. I thought it was a local story, born and told only on Tatooine. "What?"

"Yeah, I swear, my grandmother told it first, and I was hooked. The whole meaning behind it... everything."

Obi-Wan interrupted us. "What are you talking about?"

"It's a fairy tale. An old kids story, those you tell your kids before they sleep to calm them. That kind of story. It's the story of three brothers, three knights, the first and second ones are successful, they travel all over the Galaxy to right wrongs and stuff like that. The third one, The Black and White Knight, well, he can't match them. He tries, but he can't match the fame of his brothers. He's angry and frustrated, and the story ends with him wandering around, trying to find himself. With no success."

"What the hell are you talking about? That's not the story of the Three Brothers Knights!" she snapped as I finished.

"Hey, that's the story my mom told me!"

"Well, that's not the full story then. You don't know the most important part!"

Everyone moved their gazes to her. "What important part?" asked Obi-Wan.

"The part where it's said that the Red Knight walks down the path of madness. All the power and the fame rooted in his heart and blinded him. As years went by, he could not see what was right and what was wrong anymore. At the point that the Gods, who had bestowed him the source of his power, his blessed shield forged in a volcano or... well, I don't really remember, well, they took it away from him, and from then on it was his downfall. He died, brutally murdered by a pack of scavengers. In the end, he didn't even felt the difference, with or without his divine powers. It was all the same to him. But he wasn't strong enough."

"Hey, wait a moment, I think I've heard the story." interrupted Master Jin, "The Yellow Knight is more balanced, he lives long and prosper, doing good deeds all around the Galaxy, but he's unhappy. He... I don't even know how to say it. It's like there's a hole in him. Something lacking in his life."

"Exactly." continued Padmè.

I looked at them and sighed. "Alright, I guess I didn't know the while story."

"More there is. Please, continue." added Master Yoda.

She nodded and continued her tale. "The most important thing is that the Black And White Knight ends up on the right path. During a snowstorm he found refuge and a young woman helped him. He was wounded and she cured him. And they fell in love. But he had to go back to his journey and he promised to return in ten years. And so he did. They got married even if his family didn't agree and well, that's it. He was happy. Proud and happy because since that day he had managed to man up enough to become even a better knight that his brothers."

"Wow..." I murmured.

"That's the word." said Qui Gon. "But is it just me or... Well,. doesn't it sound a bit familiar?"

"Indeed, Master. But familiar isn't the right word. I'd say it's blatantly obvious!" replied his former Padawan, looking towards Padmè and I.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"On the Prophecy, a different take this is." interjected Master Yoda, getting out of his silence.

"Excuse me?"

"Metaphors. Fairy tales metaphors are. To easy explain hard concepts a method are." he said. "Ways for reality adaptation they are. Prophecies interpreted can be. Rewritten too."

"And they are not exclusives. More than a man, or woman, can have the same vision of the future. Usually there are more versions of the same prophecies. There are probably a thousand versions of the Prophecy of the Chosen One. The Jedi made this interpretation, but on other planets, in other civilizations your figure is a sort of religious or political leader... who knows!" explained Master Jinn,

"Let me get this straight, are you all trying to get me more confused than I really am?" I asked, on the brink of exasperation.

"No Anakin. We're just trying to figure out what's going on with you." said Padmè. "The problem is that we're confused too."

"She's right. We can't figure out what's going on in your head. That's your task. We can just try and help you. And the story she's told, well, while it doesn't make your situation easier, it gives us a new light on the Prophecy of the Whills. Looks, as I see it, the Red Knight is pretty much the figure of the Sith. And the Yellow one is the split image of the Jedi Order. And in the middle, there's the Black and White Knight." he explained. "A troubled person, torn between two worlds. You've seen the best and the worst life could show you and you're not even thirty two year old. That's it, you have all the rights to be angry as hell with us, with the Galaxy as a whole. But when you're with her, you change. You've changed for her. And she's part of the story too."

"Leave her out of the equation. This is about me, she's going to be involved." I didn't like what she was going to say. I didn't mind the story of the Prophecy. Yeah, it had made me cocky and arrogant and whatever, but at least it revolved only around me. No one else. If what they were saying was true, that she was involved in that prophecy or whatever that old fairy tale was, well, I couldn't accept her.

Not my wife.

And my kid. Well, if she was really pregnant, all that stuff involved even my kid.

And Luke and Leia back home.

That wouldn't do.

"Anakin, listen, we're not trying to get her involved. But we can't control the flow of the Force, not in these matters at least. You have issues. We all agree. But if you look back in your past, there was another time when you were confused, just like now. And I'm not talking about the Emperor."

I nodded. "Yes, I remember. It was during the Clone Wars."

"Exactly. But at the time you had something more than now to cling on. You could rely on someone that trusted you every moment and was with you every day and night for months."

"Ahsoka."

"You had a Padawan back then. And she was there to help you, when your wife couldn't. And admit it, it wasn't half bad."

I nodded. "It felt good. I had someone to teach what I had learned and it really felt good."

"Then that's the problem." snapped my Master. "He needs a Padawan."

"Well, not the only problem. But it would surely help him. He's a sheepless shepherd, and as you said not too long ago, he has become a very good teacher. It would help him concentrate and keeping his fears and issues at bay while he works on all of this."

"But that will take time. We can't go back to Dantooine like this. We've left to look for Jax and I swear I won't go back before we've found him."

Qui Gon sighed. "I can't help you then." he stated. Hard and brutal. "If you want to go back to Dantooine and resolve your problems, well, then I'm all in, I can help you. If you want to go on and keep up this way, it's your life. You need to slow down at this point. And go out there doing the Jedi hunter won't help you."

"He's my friend. And there's a woman and a baby girl on Dantooine waiting for him. He doesn't even know he has a daughter. And believe me, I know how it feels to live like that. And I wouldn't wish it to my worst enemy."

He nodded. "And I respect you for your altruism, but you need to stop. This is not healthy right now."

"Master..." interrupted Obi-Wan. "I know you're saying this for his own safety, but believe me, if we go home, I'm pretty sure he'll start having nightmares and visions probably the same night we'd set foot at the base. And that's not going to be any healthier than this. You said he's a sheepless shepherd, that he needs to teach to someone specific, and I'm willing to let him teach to Luke or Leia, it will only do him good, but we've left because we knew it would have helped him. We've got to do this one. It's not just a whim."

He remained silent, thinking about his old Padawan's words. Obi-Wan was right. On the whole line.

"It's crazy, you know that?"

"Crazy stuff is what we do best."

"Oh well, in that case..."

* * *

_Alright, this one is done. Took me a while, a lot of whining on Facebook and Twitter, but I did it. Next stop... on I'm not going to spoil the story in an author note. And Alessandra, shut the heck up, you know how it ends so...zip it!_

_Have fun reading this, I'll have fun writing the next one. It's going to be a little more fun. Both to read and to write. Guess I'm going to play a bit of The Force Unleashed more so I can outline the next story. And wait for Castle...heck I'll have to watch it tomorrow at this rate, I'm falling asleep on the netbook. Not good. Not good at all. _

_Anyway, hope you liked it. See ya next time. Love you all!_


	28. If I Could Trade Mistakes

**Chapter 28 – If I Could Trade Mistakes...**

We spent the rest of the day, well, the ninety minutes before Obi-Wan announced he was going to take a shower then straight to his bunk, simply hanging around the ship.

After we had decided to continue our research for Jax, even if Master Jinn didn't agree, he excused himself and literally disappeared. He had exploited his energy and needed some time to rest before he could come back and interact with us. Master Yoda, after Master Jinn went away, politely asked us to leave. And I didn't mind at all. Even sitting down, it didn't feel good at all staying in that cramped space. It was incredibly uncomfortable for me, in my conditions.

Anyway, the three of us, four if you include Artoo, remained on the ship. We weren't in the mood for too much talking, and we remained in a comfortable silence for most of the time. I had to convince Padmè to eat something though, and that took quite a lot of talking. She wasn't in the mood, but with a bit of prodding and pushing I managed to convince her. When she finally agree, she just smiled and turned away, getting something done.

She even managed to get me to eat something, even if I wasn't hungry at all. But I couldn't resist her. She asked, I obeyed. Not much, but at least she was happy with that.

Once Obi-Wan went in the restroom to take his shower, she picked up the first aid kit and made me sit in my bunk. She dragged a chair in front of me and started taking the bandages off my face. "I have to check on that wound before I let you go to sleep."

"There's no need. It doesn't hurt much." I told her. I just wanted to get in the restroom after Obi-Wan, get ready for bed, and sleep until later the next morning. Yoda had told us he wanted to talk to us again, the next day, but I wasn't sure I could face him. At least not again in so little time.

"Just let me check, I'll sleep better if I know how are your wounds."

"I would sleep better if I knew if you're really pregnant or not."

She sighed and shook her head. "First things first. My condition isn't life-threatening, at the moment. In this place, if your wounds don't heal properly, you could catch a nasty virus or worse, infection, and that could get dangerous."

"It's not that I'll go diving in the swamp while these cuts are still open!"

"I know." she folded the long band and placed it in a plastic bag. "I wouldn't let you. Still, I almost lost you once, I won't let it happen a second time."

She gently pulled the bacta-soaked gauze from the cut on my eyebrow. "Oh that's good."she said, smiling. "The cut looks good. It's closed and clean. No signs of infections, and the swelling subsided."

"This must be my lucky day." I groaned.

"You almost look like a human being. Bruised, but human." she made me turn my head towards her. Her slightly cool fingers traced the lines of the bruises that covered the right side of my face. When she pressed a little on my cheekbone to see if it was broken or not, it felt like being hit again.

"Damn..." I moaned, and snatched away from her touch.

"Hurts?"

I nodded. "Yeah, and a lot. Do you think it is broken?"

She pressed a bit more, this time a little bit lighter. "No. maybe the tissue is a bit inflamed from the beating, but the bone is intact. You're lucky, you know?"

"Guess seven years of this made me tougher than before."

She stilled, for a long moment, and locked her gaze on my eyes. I could read the pain and anguish in her eyes, just like every time I brought up the matter. She tried to hide it, but I caught her staring at my scars, when she thought I wasn't looking. And she had the same expression stamped on her face.

I knew she wanted to say something, but she refrained and just kept that inside. Months before I had told her that if she had questions, I was ready to answer them, but she never asked. I knew she wanted to know more than what I had already told her about what happened when I was in jail, yet, she never said a word about it.

I took her hand in mine and rubbed it, trying to warm it a little. "Padmè, I know that look. I get it quite often lately, and I know what it means. What do you want to know?"

She shook her head and brushed a strand of rebel hair out of her face. "Nothing Anakin. I'm just worried about you. You've been beaten, badly, and I had to listen to it through the ComLink. It wasn't nice."

"Knowing you were listening made it even worse. Just don't want you to feel bad for me. I'll be perfectly fine. As soon as this story will be over, we'll go back to Varykino and take a long vacation, a real one this time, without dreams and visions to interrupt us. Alright? And we'll talk. For real."

"What do you mean?"

"It means that you're going to ask questions and I'm going to answer. You need to know more than what I already told you, and I know you want to. No secrets, between us, not about this. Alright?"

She leaned towards me and kissed me. "Alright. Just let me finish this, OK?"

I nodded and let her complete her job. She applied several small band aids on the cut on my eyebrow, to keep it closed, then another one on the cut on the bridge of my nose. After that, a tube of bacta gel appeared from the first aid kit beside her.

I leaned back as soon as I saw it. "Do I really need it?" it smelled like hell and was colder than Hoth. I used to take a bath in that thing after I finished sparring with the others, back when we were teenagers, and even after that, when I returned to the base after a battle. Bumps and bruises were occupational hazards and that was a quick way to get rid of them. But it wasn't the nicest one.

"If you want to get better faster, yes." she said, opening the tube and squeezing a good amount of it on her hand. As lightly as she could, she applied the cold gel on my bruised skin, rubbing until it was absorbed almost completely. "There you go. Done." she said, wiping her fingers on a clean cloth.

"Thank you. Done for good?"

She nodded and leaned on the back of the chair. "Yes, you don't need bandages or dressings anymore. Sleep and the anti-inflammatory I gave you yesterday worked wonders. And the ice too. You're doing way better. How's your head?"

"Except for the extreme confusion inside, pretty good. I'm just waiting for Obi-Wan to get out so I can get ready for bed. I'm quite tired. You should sleep too. You didn't sleep much last night. Nor did Obi-Wan."

"We didn't sleep at all. We didn't want to disturb you and sincerely I wasn't really in the mood for sleeping, not after what happened. And, actually, we've been up and running only for eighteen hours. Obi-Wan and I didn't have any reason to sleep."

"Really?" I had lost my watch so I had lost the track of time. And the jet lag didn't help. I was still as tired as if I hadn't slept for three days straight.

"Really. But this day counted at least as four. And we're all tired. We'll see what morning will bring, alright?"

I don't know what she was talking about, but I know how I spent that night.

Awake!

Soon after Obi-Wan jumped in his bunk and drifted off to sleep, Padmè got ready for bed and left me all the time I needed in the restroom. When I got out, she was already fast asleep. At least she would get some serious sleep.

Unlike me.

I was dead tired. I was ready for a full night of sleep, but while my body demanded the long hours of total blackout to fasten the healing process, my mind was still running and spinning around the same matters over and over again.

I would have loved to toss and turn in my bunk like I was used to do when I was younger, but with that shoulder, I couldn't. That was one of the many problems.

How could I sleep with everything that had happened in the last eighteen hours, actually? At least, not without the help of any medication? Impossible. After two hours of just laying there doing absolutely nothing except for let my mind wonder to places I didn't even want to know they existed, I decided I could at least get out of my bunk, put some clothes on and do the same thing while sitting in the cockpit with Artoo, maybe with something strong to drink.

Too bad we didn't have anything like that in the small fridge, so I fell back to a cup of coffee. While the multi-function machine brewed it, I slowly managed to get a sweatshirt and my boots on. When it was ready, I grabbed a disposable cup out of the closet and dragged my exhausted but sleep self in the cockpit. Once the door was closed, I turned on the lights and sank in the pilot seat.

Artoo was sitting in his small place, turned off and recharging, so I was pretty much alone.

Looking out of the windshield I saw the swamp and nothing more. Everything was quiet and silent. The constant hum of the engines wasn't there to keep me company. I certainly wasn't up to ask for Master Yoda's company. His fucked up grammar tended to unnerve me to say the least. Well, I'm not proud of it, but I had never really managed to get along with him. Never. I rarely sought his advice, I preferred to go for Master Windu, or Master Koon, back in the days of the Jedi Order. And of course Obi-Wan.

But I was alone in that moment. Obi-Wan was too tired and I really didn't want to wake him for something that trivial like my doubts. Or maybe he was the only one that could solve them, I didn't know.

I just sat there, a cup of cooling coffee in one hand and the other bandaged and blocked against my chest. And a myriad of thoughts running all around my head, but I already said that and since I don't want to bore you to death I'll stop repeating it all over again.

I just wanted it to be finished.

Most of all for Padmè. The same moment she mentioned the fact that she could be pregnant, well, everything had changed. The whole perspective had changed. My perspective had changed! My problems suddenly had become so tiny and insignificant that all I wanted at that point was getting Jax out of the hell he had fell into, drag his lazy, paranoid ass to Dantooine and get hell over it. I wanted to go home, I wanted Padmè to get a fucking blood work done to have the certainty of the foundation of her doubts or a denial. And my kids.

I wanted my kids back with me. I wanted to listen to Luke's whining about too much homework and Leia's about not having enough of it. I wanted my family, as a whole, with everything it meant. Even having to deal with that douchebag of Antilles. I could even accept that.

I just wanted normality, even if our situation could be described as anything but normal. But we had our balance, we worked altogether to make it work. And it worked just fine. Taking small steps, we had reached our equilibrium. I was stable, the kids were growing up just fine, they were healthy and so was Padmè. We were happy.

And now?

If I could...

"Fuck those damn dreams..."

"Watch your language Padawan!"

His voice made my jump on my seat. I was lucky enough to not let my coffee spill. "I... I thought were sleeping."

"I was." he closed the door behind him and slipped on the co-pilot seat, beside me. He was still wearing is Pjs and he was barefoot. I had seen him like this just a couple of times. Usually he was the first one to wake up and the last one to go to bed. I had seen him in such a private attire only in a couple of occasions that I couldn't really remember. "I needed to pay a visit to the toilet and I saw the light under the door. That's all. What are you doing awake?"

"Couldn't sleep. I thought I would do something more useful by getting up, put some clothes on and get up here. I can't toss and turn like I would like to with this shoulder, so well, I got out of the bunk, prepared something to drink, and camped in here. I didn't want to wake anyone."

"You didn't, don't worry. And by the way, how's your shoulder?"

I took another sip from my cup. "Not too bad. It doesn't hurt anymore. At least not as much as yesterday."

He nodded. "Good. Your head?"

"A bit fucked up right now, but doesn't hurt either."

"Then why aren't you fast asleep in your bunk, waking me up every hour with your snoring?"

Oh well, straight to the point.

"Don't know. I'm tired, exhausted actually, but my brain won't shut down, just that. Not that I didn't try every technique I know to calm down and get some rest but... here I am."

He remained silent for a moment, just staring at me.

"There's something worrying you. And it's not what Dalan or Master Jinn said. I can feel it." he stated. "It's something... different. And it doesn't look like it is about you."

I turned towards the windshield and sighed. He could always read me as an open book, lately more than ever. And it was better this way. It saved me the effort to explain things to him. The eight years he had spent with Padmè, away from his Jedi routines and most of all away from the Order, its codes, its ways of dealing with people and events had slightly opened his mind to other views and other ways.

He finally could understand my pain. Even if only from an external point of view.

"It's... It's Padmè."

He nodded. "She's been sick for a while now. How long?"

"Seven days, maybe eight. It's hard to tell, she always tries to hide it and look fine."

"Right. Have you understood what's the matter?"

I nodded. "She did. She said she's felt this way already once, some years ago."

"Well, that's good news. It means she knows what to do about that!"

I hid a chuckle behind the cup of coffee. It was disgustingly cold now, but at least it was something to hold on to. "Yeah, definitely. It should be over in some months, if she's right about her sickness."

"What do you mean if she's right? And why should it take months for her to heal? It doesn't look bad."

I sighed. "She might be pregnant."

A long, meaningful pause fell in the cabin. I finished my coffee and threw the disposable cup in the recycle bin and leaned back on the chair, waiting for the bashing to begin. Or at least a lecture. I didn't really know what I was expecting from him. Definitely I didn't expect what he did in reailyt!

"Well, my young Padawan, congratulations!" he said, a broad smile lighting his face, as he gave me a friendly punch on my sane shoulder. "You must be overjoying!"

"Hardly, Master..."

His smile was replaced by a worried frown. "Why? You should be walking on the moon, if only this planed had one!"

"In normal situations, I guess I would walk on the moon, as you said, but now? With all this crap going on? I have very little reasons to do so. First of all, she's not sure and she said she can't be until we go back to Dantooine, which gives me the creeps! And secondly... what the hell I'm supposed to do now? We barely manage to keep going with two growing kids, what are we supposed to do with a newborn? Heck, Antilles will have my head!"

He grunted, quite scornfully, leaning back and hoisting his feet on the command console of the ship. "You're crazy Anakin. First of all, Antilles won't say a word. And if he does, he's going to have a very, very close encounter with a bunch of angry Jedi and their lightsabers. He's acted like a total idiot about you for months, the whole thing about the married couples is total shit, one day he'll realize that. And he'll stop being a jerk, one day or another. He's old enough to behave like a man and not like a whiny teenager, like he's been doing lately. And secondly, why does that give you the creeps?"

"Because not knowing kills me. About everything. It's just me... it's my temper. Not knowing has always set me on edge. And not knowing if my wife is pregnant or not, most of all on such a dangerous situation like this one, well, it's killing me."

He sighed. "How could she be sure about it? I don't really know much about it, but aren't there supposed to be some kind of test or..."

I nodded. "Yes, there are some kind of domestic pregnancy tests, but she doesn't have one at hand."

"Oh... well, I guess I understand. And I guess that she'd prefer taking a blood work done on Dantooine. Sounds smart."

"Yeah, smart. She's not too worried about it. I don't know why. She was terrified the first time... why not this time?"

"Oh Anakin, you're so dense sometimes!" he smiled. "Last time she was scared because your marriage was still secret, there was the war, the birth of the Empire... what the hell, she had all the reasons to be scared! But now? Damnit Anakin, you've changed so much during these years she has no, and I'd like to put a lot of stress on that no, reasons to be scared about having another kid! And you'll manage just fine, don't worry. You're a natural born dad, you'll do astonishingly good. Think about it as a second chance. You'll be around for real this time!"

I shook my head. "I don't deserve that."

"What? Excuse me, but I think that concussion fucked your head up far more than what we thought. What is exactly that you don't deserve?"

"This! All of this! After everything I did when I was younger... I don't deserve this. I don't deserve to be happy! Really, if I could trade mistakes for credits I'd be the richest man in the Galaxy."

He groaned and stood up. "Anakin, stand up please."

"Why?" I asked, a bit confused.

"Oh come on, just do as I say for once in your life!"

Oh well, I did as I said. I stood up and faced him. He looked as angry as I had never seen him. And as an angry man he acted. He hit me so hard and I saw stars. Literally. His clenched fist hit me on my jaw, on the non-bruised side, so fast I couldn't see it. I fell back on the pilot chair again, dumbstruck and hurting.

"Hey, what was that for?" I asked rubbing my sore face.

"For being the greatest idiot of all times! But do you listen to what you say?"

"Yeah, and I'm pretty sure I'm right about it!"

He raised his fist again but stopped before he hit me. He let it go and sat back in front of me. "Well shut the hell up for the Force's sake! Talk about yourself like that again and I swear I'll break your jaw in so many pieces you're gonna need a prosthetic one because Janu won't be able to find all the pieces! Understood?"

I was a little scared after that rant. "Understood..." I whined.

"Good. Because I'm good at the paternal kick in the ass thing. But I can do even better at the Jedi Master punch in the face one. Now man up and stop acting like a whiny teenager, you're no better than Antilles sometimes!"

"Oh right now you're exaggerating a bit, don't you think? I'm worried, that's all! This is not going has I planned, that's what makes me worry like this!"

"Anakin, you should know that right from the start you can't predict the end. And neither the course of the journey. That's how life works, I thought you had come to terms with that."

I nodded. "I know. It's just... you know, I kinda hoped this thing would just go smooth."

"Things never go smooth. Most of all if you're a Jedi. It's our lot in life. Anyway, not to twist the knife in the wound but if she's pregnant for real, why don't you marry her?"

"As Atton Rosh? Well, not that I haven't thought about that but... well, at this point that would a shotgun wedding, but she's still in the newly widowed stage, according to the laws of Naboo. She can't get married for at least five months more."

"Well, consider thought that that one marriage was not totally legal... you were still a Jedi, a Padawan actually, you hadn't resigned from the Order. Technically, that marriage is illegal by all the laws of the former Republic. Hence, she's not your widow. You can marry her as Atton Rosh as soon as we can organize it."

"Are you serious?"

He nodded. "Damn serious. I wouldn't fool around matters like that. It's not my style. And, sincerely, I wouldn't give a damn about that shotgun wedding thing. It's just a crappy tag. Doesn't mean anything."

"It means that a man dishonored someone's daughter and has to marry her by the laws of a planet or a religion. You know, some people out there get cranky about sex outside marriage. Not to mention kids born out of wedlock!"

"Believe me, I've seen my fair share of galaxy, I know what you're talking about. And that's why I wouldn't care much about it. It's not like her father hates you or what. They practically adore you! You're safe on that side!" He yawned and rubbed his face. He was getting sleepy again. "Come on, it's time to go back to bed. You too. No excuses!"

"I can't assure I'll sleep though."

"I could always push you against the wall until you lose consciousness, you know."

"No please no, I've had enough of being beaten like that! First Dalan, then you... no way! I'd prefer a massive dose of painkillers at this point. With that, I fall asleep like a rock in ten seconds!"

He chuckled as he stood up. "Yeah, and then you start talking too much! I really hope you stopped with all that..."

I interrupted him. "Of course I did! What the hell, I've got my wife now! It's not just me and my hand anymore!"

"Good for you. Now, slip into that bunk and get some sleep. Or I'm going to stick that syringe in your butt myself, if I find you awake again for tonight!"

* * *

_Short, apparently meaningless one. But I like it. Some time between the two of them alone, no interruptions and some laughs. Just to light the story up a little. I felt like the story needed a short comic relief, I don't know... to balance things. And believe me, when I came up with the idea of Obi-Wan punching Anakin in his Pjs I almost threw the laptop to the floor because I was literally doubled in two by too much laughing. Well, I was also watching Firefly, and that show always manages to crack me up one way or another, so... well, that helped. Actually, I think Firefly inspired this one a little bit. Don't know why. Anyway... hope you liked it and see ya soon. These three are going to leave the swamp soon! _


	29. Electrical Storm

**Chapter 29 – Electrical Storm**

_The spaceport was crowded, dark and smelled like stale sweat and spilled alcoholic beverages. Not exactly the cleanest place in the galaxy, but that planet was not known for how clean were its public spaces. Hutt controlled planets weren't the nicest places ever, but at least the Empire didn't have a strong presence there. Not the best thing in the world, he was still in danger but, hey, it could be worse!_

_The hallways were half carved in stone and half built with scrap metal. There were small shops here and there, but nothing worth looking, also going out was pretty much off-limits: not only his transport was about to leave, but also the sun out there was terribly hot and made it impossible to stand there. _

_While waiting for his transport, he sat in a dark corner watching people passing in front of him. In other circumstances he probably would make up stories about them, just to pass time, but he was just too worried about what he was going to do in the next few hours to pass time like that._

_He looked down at his bag, resting under his stool, and sighed. He missed the feeling of his lightsaber in his pocket. It gave him a feeling of safety that in that particular moment he needed, but at the check in they would probably check if he had concealed weapons. They weren't probably too careful about it, but better safe than sorry. Still, he felt that he needed some safety. _

_And he needed it now. _

_But with the idea that was now occupying his mind, safety was his last worry. He needed to get to that place. As soon as he could. _

_He checked again the time on his watch and sighed. It was almost time._

_He grabbed his bag and hoisted it on his shoulder, then walked towards the dock. The ship was already there, the loading operations were being performed and after a short wait in the queue, a guard validated his ticket and let him aboard. _

_The ship was even worse than the spaceport. It was a converted cargo ship with cramped and smelled even worse than the spaceport. He found his seat, secured his bag beneath his seat, slipping his lightsaber in his sleeve then sat down, folding his arms across his chest and managed to put the sword back in his pocket. Now, he felt safe._

_He let out a deep relieved breath then rested his head on the seat. He hadn't slept regularly in days, he was tired and he was hungry. Starving actually, but he didn't trust buying food in that spaceport. Not that he would have trust to buy food on that ship too... he preferred keeping his money and also his health under control. He didn't want to get food poisoned by expired alien food. _

_All that traveling were making him regret the food served at the Jedi Temple. He had spent his youth complaining about food, and now he was wishing for a plate of that stuff. At least he would have something to chew on. His stomach had been grumbling since a couple of hours earlier and now weariness was taking its toll. He could barely keep his eyes open, but he waited until the ship was moving and had jumped to lightspeed. At that point, hijacking the ship was impossible. He could rest for a while. _

_He closed his eyes and tried to calm down, using every Jedi technique he knew. Once he felt calm enough, he looked around and found he was practically alone. In that section, there were only five people, and three of them consisted in a couple with a kid. They were trying to keep him calm and they were everything but dangerous. The other person was a rather old Zabrak, probably with some sight impairments, who was already asleep. And he soon followed him. _

_Waking up with a start, he found himself half leaning on the window beside him, a little drop of saliva dripping from the corner of his gaping mouth. Shaking his head to wake up completely, he wiped his chin and winced, feeling the stubble scratching his palm. He didn't find time time to shave, nor the equipment. He had lost his tools months before and never actually cared to replace them, and he didn't care much about his looks, but he wasn't a fan of the scratchy beard. _

_He looked around and found out they were landing. He had been woken up by a slight shaking of the ship, probably when they had entered in the atmosphere. He sat up straight and cleared his throat. He was thirty and still very hungry. He planned to try and find a place to eat something before go looking for a transport to the Valley of the Jedi, or anywhere close to that place. He had to go and find out whether what Vader had told him was right or not. He had to find out if the Force could be channeled and amplified by pyronium. And since he still possessed his crystal, he had to go to a place that had a very strong Force connection and presence. And since Ossus was completely out of the picture, the Valley of the Jedi would do absolutely good._

_About thirty minutes later the ship landed and he wanted to get down as soon as he could. He grabbed his backpack and walked down the cramped hallway towards the exit as fast as he could but not yet running, then waited for the doors to slide open and jumped off. The sky was almost black, filled with thick, dark clouds. He could see lightnings all over, above the spaceport. Like an incoming electrical storm. But the weather didn't matter. For all he cared, it could turn into a full blown snow blizzard. _

_He finally was close to his destination. After months of aimless running, of trying to get close to that damn planet he had been chasing for months now. Ruusan. _

"...the fuck..." I groaned when I heard a loud noise that woke me up.

I looked around and realized I was laying prone in the bunk, with my left arm practically trapped beneath me. It felt numb and compressed, so I pushed myself up with the other arm and sat up straight. I tried to find the source of the noise and I saw Obi-Wan's tall figure a couple of meters away from the bunks. He was probably making breakfast or something like that because I could smell the strong scent of coffee and rations warming up in the oven.

I squinted my eyes and shook my head. That dream was confusing. Terribly real and stunningly coherent with everything going on in that moment. It was like the Force was leading us to him. As if he was needed in the picture, as if there was a scheme. Well, there was always a scheme, or at least a sort of line connecting each dot, but that line most of the time could only be seen after the events had passed and you had the whole scene in front of you, but, well, I was sort of understanding that there was a bigger plan, and we were all pawns of the Force.

Not that I liked it much more than being a pawn but, hey, better being a pawn of the Force than of a Dark Lord Of The Sith.

Groggily I stood. "Hey, where's Padmè?"

"Hey there, good morning! She's in the bathroom. Didn't feel well when she woke up."

I sighed. "Then why didn't she wake me up?"

"She said she could handle a bit of morning sickness and that you needed to sleep. Nothing to worry about. How are you?"

"Fine... I think I know where Jax is though."

His eyebrows shot up as he poured two cups of coffee. A moment later the oven emitted a low whistle and signaled our breakfasts were ready. "What do you mean you think you know where Jax is?"

I nodded. "I... I had a dream. A very vivid dream. Jax was on a ship heading to Ruusan. He needed to get there as soon as he could, or at least that was what I understood from his behavior. He was really in a hurry, he wanted to get to the Valley Of The Jedi."

"Why?"

"Something regarding that day when he battled Vader. He thinks Vader wants the pyronium crystal because he's convinced it can function as a catalyst for the Force, other than electromagnetic impulses. I think he's trying to gather more power."

He handed me my cup. "Not good. That's not good at all. We must get there as soon as we can. Ruusan shouldn't be too long."

"Seven hours. I think Artoo can have the ship ready in an hour, if we leave by that time we'll..."

In that moment I heard a strange noise coming from the bathroom. "I don't like that..." I started moving towards the room but Obi-Wan stopped me.

"Leave the cup here. Last time, even if she was already at the end of the pregnancy, she was incredibly sensitive to smells and coffee didn't do any good to her."

I left it on the table and rushed towards the bathroom. I opened the door and she was already on her feet, leaning on the sink and spreading toothpaste on her brush. "You Ok?" I asked.

She turned on the water and nodded. "Sure." she mumbled while brushing the awful taste away. "A minor inconvenience, don't worry. I'll be fine."

"How do you feel?"

"Nauseated. This morning it's just a little worse than the other days. Happens all the time."

"Are you sure?" I was behaving like a total idiot. I was sure she was thinking the same about me. But I was really, really worried about her, and I couldn't help it. I needed to be sure she was fine.

She rolled her eyes and spit in the sink. "Yes, I'm sure. I told you, I know how it works. And if you don't get out of here, I swear I'm going to push you out myself. Obi-Wan is making breakfast, go and eat something, Master Yoda wants to talk to you."

"What? When?"

"As soon as you can. He said he could wait, but he wanted to talk to you as soon as you could go to his place."

"Alright. I... I'll finish my coffee and go. Oh ehm... can you take the bandage off? I... I know where Jax is."

She put her toothbrush back in its holder and looked straight in my eyes. "You had one of your dreams?"

I nodded. "Yes. We're leaving for Ruusan as soon as Artoo can have the ship ready. But I need my shoulder and it doesn't hurt now. Can you do it?"

"Sure. Go and sit down, I'm coming!"

I did as ordered and sat at the table. A minute later she was undoing the tight wraps around my shoulder and upper chest. The skin underneath was bruised and swollen, it itched and felt a little tight, but didn't hurt. When the first layer of bandages came off, the one that fixed my arm to my chest, Padmè asked me to move my arm. It felt tight, but not excessively so. I could move it pretty much in every direction, it hurt a little while I rotated it, but I was sure it was only because of the inflamed tendons and ligaments. Nothing to worry about.

"There you go. Almost good as new. I'd let Janu check on it when we get back to Dantooine but I don't think you'll have problems." she said as she examined my upper body.

"I don't know, it's the third time this shoulder gets dislocated, I fear there's some permanent damage from the two other times."

"Probable." added then Obi-Wan.

She made a face. "Alright. Take an anti-inflammatory then go and speak to Master Yoda. We'll leave as soon as you return if Artoo gets the ship ready. Alright?"

I nodded and she handed me my sweatshirt and helped me wearing it. "I'll going to talk to him. Hope it won't take long. You'll be alright without me?"

"Don't worry, we can handle it." replied Obi-Wan as he poured another cup of coffee and placed it on the table in front of me as I buckled up my combat boots. "Take this with you. And don't drink anything he'll offer, most of all if it's green and smells like sour algae. You'll thank me."

I nodded and grabbed my cup. "Thank you. I'll be right back!"

As I walked down the ramp I heard Padmè sigh and she told Obi-Wan: "I think I'll spend the next thirty minutes throwing up." and then she ran again in the bathroom. I was about to turn back but if I waited too long, then we would have left even later. Master Yoda was waiting for me and we had to leave the planet as soon as we could.

I walked towards his shack, jumping here and there to avoid the shallow water and the pools. With my left arm free, it was easier to walk. A lot easier, actually. Not to mention jumping. Yes. Easier. It didn't hurt much too. I felt a lot better. At least physically. Psychologically I felt still on the edge, and I was sure Master Yoda was about to give me another blow, but whatever he was going to say, I had more things to think about than myself.

And that helped a lot.

I was about six yards away from the place when I heard a saw a flash lighting the place as if we were in plain daylight and without all those trees and plants that covered the sky. I looked up and through the fronds and the thick branches I saw some very thick clouds hovering in the sky. A storm was approaching, and with that kind of environment, even a minor storm could become a huge electrical blizzard that could potentially get dangerous.

It also made me cringe a little. The air was electrified, I could feel it on my skin, and I felt a little electrified. Not because of the dream, or what had happened in the few days, well, weeks before that moment. It was something strange, as if the Force was trying to tell me something, to warn me that a danger was approaching, and it was doing by manipulating the weather. I also felt a compelling need to get out of that planet, and it wasn't the harsh conditions, the bad memories or the absolutely insufferable acre smell that came from the swamp, no, it was something different altogether.

I definitely needed to hurry up.

I jogged towards the door, careful not to spill my coffee, and leaned enough to look inside. "You wanted to see me Master?" I asked.

Master Yoda was sitting next to the fireplace, stirring something in a kettle. Smiling, he looked up at me and nodded. "Yes. Inside come, young Skywalker. Talk we need to."

I sneaked in and crawled towards the spot we had all been sitting the day before and tried to make myself comfortable in the cramped space. There was more room with only the two of us in there, but still, if I didn't pay enough attention, I would bang my head on the roof.

"I'm here. What do you want to talk about?"

"You."

"Oh well, I guess it's the subject of the month. What was left out?"

"Much was left out I fear... But, tell me, slept have you?"

I nodded. "Yes. I had some problems falling asleep but after some hours yes, I slept rather well."

"Good. Good." he grabbed the handle of the kettle and poured its content in an old plastic cup. "Breakfast?"

I shook my head, remembering the advice Obi-Wan gave me. "No thank you. I've got my coffee."

"Good." he blew on the hot beverage to cool it and took a sip. "A turmoil through the Force coursing is." he said. "Deeply concerned I am."

"I... well, I fear I'm partially responsible for it."

He smiled for a moment, then sighed. "Responsible you are not. Mysterious the ways of the Force are. Know this you should. Turmoils common in these times are." he stopped and drank again from his cup. That thing stank, really! "But weeks ago a vision to me came."

Oh come on! Visions, dreams... I was pretty much tired of things like that. And if he started, I fear I would get another headache just trying to decode his grammar into something that made actually sense in Basic, then I'd probably have to rethink everything he had said to find out what he really meant. But I didn't interrupt him. I didn't want to make him upset or worse, irritated. He became quite nasty when someone contradicted him.

"What did you see?"

He closed his eyes as if he tried to recall the memory of the dream, like a movie or a hologram. "Rocks. A rocky place it was. Waves I saw. Strong waves. Violence. Pain. Undefined it was. But of something sure I am. From the future I think the vision came. Close it was. Under a red rain happen something will. Part of it you will be."

"You mean I was in your vision?"

He nodded. "And Obi-Wan. And your wife."

That hit me like a pipe on my jaw. "Did you see Padmè?" I asked as a thunder shook the air around us. I had completely missed the lightning though. I wasn't really paying much attention.

"Felt her presence I did. Strong and steady it was. No dangers around her there were."

I sighed in relief. At least that. "Did you see anything else?"

"No. Heat. Heat I felt. A lot."

"As if there as a fire?"

"Yes." another thunder and flash right after it. The storm was getting closer.

"And what do you think it means?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Found out the meaning you will need."

"Oh great. This is getting worse minute by minute." I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed. "I need to get going. We need to leave as soon as we can, now that we know where Jax is."

He nodded. "A strong tremor tonight I sensed. From your ship it came. A vision you had." it was more a statement than a question. I just nodded. "Mysterious the Force is, but behind traces it leaves. The path I followed. As with Pavan's you do. Where is he?"

"Ruusan. The Valley Of The Jedi. Apparently, Vader wants his pyronium crystal to enhance his Force abilities. He's traveling there to try and see if Vader is right."

"Go then. If right Vader is in great danger we are."

"Yes Master, we're leaving as soon as Artoo gets the ship ready. And... well, thank you for your help." I said partially standing up to get out.

"Welcome you are young Skywalker. But go now, before out time runs."

I nodded, bowed and crawled out as fast I could, then ran straight to the ship. The storm was approaching too fast for my tastes. I ran up the entrance ramp and shut it closed pushing the control button. "Are we ready to go?" I shouted as soon as it slid closed.

"Almost." Obi-Wan yelled back from the cockpit. "We're performing a safety check on the electric system."

"Good." I walked up and shrugged my shoulders. Having the left one mobile again felt a little strange. The muscles were tight and felt like something was pulling my arm down, but it didn't feel too bad. At least it didn't hurt. "Estimated time?"

"A couple of minutes. I'm already setting the route for Ruusan. Once we're on the atmosphere we'll decide where to go."

"The Valley Of The Jedi." I replied instantly. "We must to there, straight away. And we must be quick, there's a storm approaching, I don't want to get caught in an electrical storm with the ship. It could damage it beyond our repair possibilities."

He nodded. "Good. Artoo, as soon as the security check is done, start the engines. We're leaving this place!"

"Headed to?" asked Padmè from the doorstep.

"Ruusan." replied Obi-Wan. "We're going deep into the darkest part of the history of the Order. The Valley Of The Jedi."

* * *

_Alright, even this one is done. I'm sorry it took so long but I've been hooked up to Batman Arkham City (wrote a short one shot too about the ending). One step closer to the core of the story. I just have to decide if I'm going to dive straight into it in the next chapter or if I want another short one, like this (I admit it, it was an excuse to entitle a chapter Electrical Storm). Well, I'll see what the characters will do. In any case, I already outlined the next story, at least the backbone. The whole skeleton will come with time, but hey, at least I've got a story! Hope you liked it and, well, see ya next time!_


	30. So Quiet Sensing That Storm

**Chapter 30 – So Quiet, Sensing That Storm**

"What does that mean the darkest part of the history of the Order?" asked Padmè as I brought the ship up in the atmosphere, careful not to get caught in the middle of the storm. I could see it from the windshield: a huge front of thick, black clouds was obscuring the little sunshine that filtered through the dense atmosphere, and the long, ragged lightening ripped through them like a lightsaber cuts through human flesh. As if they didn't exist. And I knew that sensation. Something I didn't want to experience never again. I had enough of one severed limb.

"It's a long, long story. And not many people know about it. Master Jinn told me when I was younger, even if it's sort of forbidden to talk about it." replied Obi-Wan checking the route. "I guess you know that the history of the galaxy goes longer than just the one thousand years of the Republic."

She nodded. "Of course. Right before the Republic as we knew it, there had been a long and gruesome war."

"The New Sith Wars." I added. "The Army Of Light versus the Brotherhood Of Darkness. One of the greatest wars of all. Not a very pleasant time to live, I assure you. If the tales on the history books are even close to the actual truth, hey, the Empire is a run of blue milk."

She made a strange face. "What? How's it even possible?"

"He's right Padmè. At that time, the Sith practically ruled the Galaxy. And not just the Emperor and Vader. I mean whole armies of Sith."

She sighed. "Yes, that's worse. A lot worse. But go on. What happened on Ruusan?"

"Well, actually, no one knows for sure, but apparently the leader of the Brotherhood Of Darkness, Lord Kaan, wanted to lure the Army of Light, led by Jedi Master Hoth, hence the name of Hoth's Brand, into a trap. Fortunately, Master Hoth sensed the trap and left most of the army behind, taking only ninety nine Jedi with him. Lord Kaan wanted to kill them all with a Thought Bomb, a very dangerous Dark Side technique that literally draws the Force out of the living beings and molds it into the shape of a bomb. When released, it burns to ashes every Force Sensitive person in it's radius."

"By the Gods that's terrible!" she snapped on her seat.

"You can say that. Anyway, in the end the Sith couldn't control the bomb and Master Hoth managed to contrast his actions, but to do so, the souls of all the Jedi and the Sith present in the Vally were trapped there. The Wars ended there, so the sacrifice of all those Knights was not in vain."

"What does it mean their souls are trapped there?"

"Their souls are literally locked in a cave. They can't go anywhere, they are one with the Force, but unlike all the souls of the deceased, they are confined in there. There's a prophecy on the planet that says the souls of the Valley will be released by a Knight that never was or something like that." he continued. "Also, the area became what we call a Force Nexus, a place where the Force is particularly strong and, well, can have some strange effects, like the Jedi Temple, but it's said to be the strongest nexus in the Galaxy."

"Wow... really... wow!"

"But there's more!" I said. "Master Othone, Hoth's Padawan, created a mausoleum in the cave where the bomb exploded. He made huge statues carved into stones from various planets, like the Jedi that perished in there, even if the Jedi Council didn't agree. When they heard what he had done, they declared it to be illegal and made it forbidden to speak about it. That's why not many Jedi know about it. I'm not even sure I know where the Valley is."

"Just make the jump to hyperspace, and be sure to jump out a reasonable distance away from the planet. Remember about the nebulae?"

I nodded. "Sure Master. They make hyperspace travel impossible in proximity of the planet. It's one of the few rules of space traveling I tend to blindly obey!"

"Oh wow, so there are some rules you follow!" he laughed.

"Sure, I've got five golden rules I always follow. Only impulse traveling near or through nebulae, always respect the kids' homework time, try to piss Antilles off as much as I can, protect your face in case of explosions and always be faithful to my wife. I think I've got some others, but those are the most important." I replied while I inserted the coordinates and pushed the ship to hyperspeed.

Until we reached three light years from the inserted coordinates, it was all autopilot.

"Alright. We've got roughly seven hours of trip. What do we do now?" I asked turning away from the control console and facing them.

"Don't know. How about we try to find out where the Valley is?" proposed Obi-Wan?

I shook my head. "I doubt we'll find it on any kind of map. I mean, the Council banned it from history, I don't really think even the locals marked a place like that on their maps."

"Worth a try though."

Well, he was right. "Oh that won't cost much. Artoo, can you look for the map of Ruusan on the database?"

A moment and some beeps later, the holoprojector turned on and the planet appeared in front of us. "Alright, here's the map. What do we look for then?"

"Mountains. First of all." suggested Padmè. "You talked about a cave, and the place is called Vally of the Jedi, that means some kind of hill or mountain."

Obi-Wan and I nodded and the holoprojector automatically highlighted the mountains and the valleys."

"Good. What about now?"

"We need a secluded place. Away from old cities and towns. I really doubt that a Sith would lure so many people close to a city. He was evil but not stupid. That kind of crowd near a city... nah, that would attract just too much attention."

And the computer excluded all valleys and confirmed caves too close to cities built less than 900 years before. "We still have fifty seven places."

"Less than ten miles from a river." added Obi-Wan. "Master Othone build an aqueduct to bring water to the meditation chamber, I doubt that he could do it if it was farther than ten miles, since he did it alone."

"Fourteen." stated Padmè after the computer did the matching.

"Still too many." I said. "And how do you know about the aqueduct?" I asked him.

He chuckled and leaned back on his chair. "Well, after all I was in the Council, I had access to the Holocron. Even those forbidden to the rest of the Order. And since I didn't have a wife to sneak to during every license from the war front, I spent quite some time there, reading."

"Oh well... yes, of course." I mumbled, slightly embarrassed by his remark. "Alright, still fourteen places. Was there anything else on the holocron that could help us?"

"You said that Master Hoth's Padawan erected a mausoleum and that he brought stones and rocks from various different planets. That means he needed a huge space. Also, I doubt that Sith would choose a cramped space to fight."she explained, still looking at the map in front of us.

"Good point." agreed Obi-Wan. "I guess we can exclude every cave that's smaller than five hundred square yards."

"And with that variable we are left with seven places. And honestly I can't come up with anything else that could help us." I stated, rubbing my jaw with my hand.

And honestly it was really pissing me off. We had a sure lead and no time to check all the possible places. What the hell! Four weeks before, when we left Dantooine, I was pretty sure we would find nothing, no leads, no traces, no more dreams... hey, I actually hoped so. But this? Not in my worst nightmares I could imagine something like this. I couldn't think about something worse than that. Maybe only the first few years on Blenjeel.

No, maybe not even that. I mean, at the time, I knew what I had to do. I knew Padmè was safe and sound with Obi-Wan. I knew how to survive. I knew.

But now? I didn't know anything.

And most of all my wife could be pregnant, and I had taken her straight in the worst dangers I could fathom.

What the fucking fuck!

I was a mess. My whole life was a mess, I kept thinking about the discussion with Qui Gon's ghost the day before and of course what Dalan had told me.

It just wasn't fair. Just a year before I had managed to find my family, to reach what seemed to be a good compromise between my reckless tendency and what I was supposed to do and now... my friggin' reckless attitude had drove us against the Empire. And possibly, towards certain death.

Fuck!

That was not how I had planned it to be. But as Obi-Wan had said just a few hours before, right from the start you can't predict the end. I should have been used to the feeling, but still...

"Any ideas" asked Obi-Wan, breaking the long, thick silence that had fell in the cockpit.

"We're talking about seven possibilities, aren't we?" replied Padmè, crossing her legs in her seat.

I nodded. "Yes. Seven places. Three in the northern hemisphere and four in the southern. And I can't come up with anything that could exclude some variables."

"You said that place is a Force Nexus and that means the Force is particularly strong. How about seismic activity? Could that help?" said Padmè after a minute of silence.

"Yes, maybe. I've never heard of earthquakes near the Temple but that could always help."

The computer obeyed the command and only three blinking dots remained on the map. "Oh well, that's a little better." I said then. "Still, how do we check all of them? We don't have enough time!"

Obi-Wan put his hand on my shoulder and briefly squeezed it. "You'll know Anakin. Follow the Force, you will know where to go. Follow your instinct and the path will be revealed to your eyes."

"I never thought I'd hear these words from you..." I mumbled then...

"What?"

"Follow your instinct. You always told me to avoid that kind of action. You've always told me to use my head, to think before acting."

He nodded. "I know. And I fear I made a huge mistake doing so. You needed to be let go long ago. We almost lost you because of this and I'm not making the same mistake again."

"Thank you for your trust. I really appreciate it."

"No need to thank me. Now... we have a long flight ahead of us and even a longer day. Why don't we leave the ship in Artoo's hands and get some rest?"

"But we just woke up!" I whined. "I'm not tired!"

"Yeah, and you slept how long? Three hours? Come on, get back to your bunk. And if you can't sleep, use this time to meditate. As I'll do. We'll need it, believe me."

With that said, he left us in the cabin. I turned around and sighed. "I don't want to sleep..." I looked up at Padmè and she was holding back a heartfelt laugh. "Why are you laughing?" I asked her.

"Because I would expect a sentence like that from Luke, not from a thirty two year old grown man. And because the more I look at you, the more I see him. When doctors say that DNA never lies, I guess I have the proof in front of my eyes."

"And every time I look at Leia I see you, each day a little more. It can be a word, a gesture... but I fear the day she'll decide to follow your path in the Senate."

"How do you know she will?"

I shrugged my shoulders and leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees. "I have a feeling. I'm not really sure, but I have this feeling that one day Organa will take her away from us, to teach her the skills she'll need as a politician. And considering how good her mother was at that, I fear she'll be a hell of a senator!"

She smiled, looking straight in my eyes, a look of pure, unconditioned love on her face. The same look that I saw every time she caught me playing with the kids. But there was something more. A strange spark that lit her eyes that I hadn't noticed before. She was glowing. There was something new in her, something I had never seen. Something that made her more beautiful that ever.

I liked it.

But then she said something that caught me completely off-guard. I wasn't really expecting that.

"Boy or girl?" she asked.

I sat up straight. "What?"

She chuckled and brought her knees to her chest, hugging her legs tightly, almost in a guarding position. As if she wanted to defend herself.

"If I'm pregnant, for real... what do you want? A boy or a girl?"

"Whatever comes. I don't really care. As long as you and the baby are healthy. That's all I care. Anything I could ask for."

"I had the feeling I would get an answer like that. But really, answer my question: boy or girl?"

"Alright, I'll be honest: girl. Just because there's a chance she'll be another you. And really, Leia is a little easier to handle than Luke." I joked!

"You're right. Let's make a deal. I got to choose the names of the twins. This time, it's up to you. You name him, or her. In case I'm pregnant. OK?"

I nodded. "Of course! But... Padmè, we need to talk about what will happen in a matter of hours."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that Master Yoda had a vision that might have been about what we're going to do. He said that something will happen. He wasn't sure what it was, but he saw pain and violence. I'm not really sure I like what he told me, and I want you to be prepared. Things may go very wrong down there. We don't know what will happen. What we'll find, or worse, who."

I wanted to be completely honest with her about it. There was no need to lie. She had been there to witness what kind of troubles I was going through and what kind of enemies we were facing, and she was anything but stupid and lies were completely futile.

"I know." she replied with the same honesty in her voice. "I've known since the beginning that a moment like this would come. This is what you do. When we got married, I didn't just bind my life to you, but also to your... well, let's call it job, even if being a Jedi is far more than just a job. You're a Jedi, and danger is part of your life. I am bound to your life, and I accepted the fact that, one day or a another, this day would come. And, well, I'm glad I'm here, to share this with you. We lost so much time that being here to help you makes me happy."

"And I'm happy to have you here. The twins were right, without you, I doubt we would have reached this point." I admitted. "And I don't know what would have happened with Dalan, if I hadn't known you were out there waiting for me to come back."

She laughed, tightening her hold on her knees. "I guess you didn't expect to see me cutting the lock of your cell door with Leia's saber."

I shook my head. "At all. That was the last thing going through my mind back in that cell."

"How's your shoulder anyway?" she asked, always worried about me, more than herself.

I moved it in circles, up and down, lifted my arm over my head, the usual stuff. It hurt a little, it felt like a sharp sting right where the arm connects to the scapula, but nothing to worry about. "Not bad. The first time was worse."

"When did it happen?"

"The first dislocation? It was... the first or maybe second year in Blenjeel. I don't really remember the exact year but who cares. Practically, it was one of the few times they tried what they called the stress torture. It's a series of position they force the prisoner to assume that can become quite stressful after a long time. Well, they made me kneel on the floor with my arms bound behind my back and they forced them up like this." I intertwined my fingers behind my back and pulled my arms up towards my head. "And connected the shackled to a chain hanging from the ceiling. Well, they left me there for... probably twenty four hours or maybe more. In the end, when they saw it didn't work, that it didn't break me, they just cut loose the chain and the sudden change of tension in the joint made it pop out. Hurt like hell."

"I can imagine." she paused for a moment. "No, actually no, I can't. I've never felt anything like that."

"Well, I never gave birth to a couple of children, I guess we're even!"

"Definitely. And beware, if I'm pregnant, and considering how I felt this morning, I think I really am, you stay away from me when I get into labor, alright?" by the tone in her voice, she was deadly serious.

"Alright, but... can I ask you why?"

She stood up and started walking towards the crew cabin. "Believe me, you don't wanna know. Let's just say that it hurts. A lot. And... well, I tend to scream a lot when I hurt."

"I know you scream. I have to clamp your mouth pretty much every time we..."

She gave me a playful slap on my forehead. "Shut the hell up!" she snapped, eyes wide open in shock. "Obi-Wan is in the other room!"

"I heard!" he shouted from outside the door. "But don't worry, by now, I got used to it!"

I shook my head and whined to my own stupidity. "Sorry Master, I didn't mean that!"

He poked his head into the cockpit and chuckled. "Of, you meant that! That's why I never sleep close to your quarters. I had to close the door the other day when you two were having fun in the shower! And I still could hear you! Anyway, I give you five minutes. If I don't see you in your bunk meditating or sleeping by that time, I'm going to tie you in there for the next five hours. And I mean it." then he went back to the other room.

We were left there, completely speechless, then we both cracked up laughing like madmen until we couldn't breathe anymore. Shaking her head and trying to catch her breath, she sagged on my chair, sitting in my lap. "That was..."

"Awkward? Embarrassing?" I prompted, circling her waist with my arms. "The most stupid thing we could have done in our whole life?"

"I was about to say funny, but I guess I'd go for awkward." she fell silent for a while and studied my face, still smiling. "I think you needed this."

"What?" I asked.

"This." she waved around. "A moment of calm. We're heading for the eye of the storm, the real deal, I can sense it even if I'm not Force Sensitive. Jax is heading there and we're going to find him and I don't really know what else. You, we, needed this."

I nodded. "Yeah... I guess. I feel a little better actually. How about you?"

She shrugged her shoulders and leaned her forehead on mine. "Fine. I was a bit nauseous earlier but it's gone now."

"I wish I could know what you're going through... just to understand you better."

"Well, there's not much to tell. Have you ever had a very nasty flu?" I nodded. "Alright, add the nausea and take the fever out of the equation. That's how it feels."

"If you put it that way, it doesn't look too bad."

"Well, right now, it's like this. In a couple of months, many things will change. Stomach aches and heartburns will become my daily routine, my back will hurt like hell, especially towards the end... mood swings, last time they weren't bad but hey, you never know. Well, nasty stuff like that. And I'll vent it out of you." she smiled, poking me in my chest.

"And I'll be happy to take everything, since half of the fault is mine."

"Anakin!" shouted Obi-Wan. "Two minutes! I'm not going to tell you anymore!"

I shook my head and sighed. "Coming!" I shouted back. "Guess I have to obey."

Silently, she stood up and pulled me up with her. "Go. Let's not make him wait. I don't want to be responsible for your punishment."

"I don't really think he would punish me, not in the strict sense of the word but I don't like to let him down. He's still my Master, even if I've been a Knight for more than ten years now."

"And for a while you were a Master." she pointed out.

"Yeah but... I didn't deserve it. I just realized it some years later." I admitted.

"Come on Anakin. Go and meditate. Obi-Wan's right, some time meditating wouldn't hurt."

"Alright. What about you?" I asked her. "What will you do while we're back there?"

"Well, first of all, some sleep won't hurt me. And if at a certain point I can't sleep anymore... well, I've got some stuff about the Alliance to read and sort out. I've received some mail in the last few days and I still haven't had the chance to read through it."

"Good. Call me if you need anything."

She grabbed the hem of my sweatshirt and pulled me down to kiss me. "Don't worry. I'll be perfectly fine. And most of all, I don't really want to disturb you. Go now, or I'll help Obi-Wan tying you in your bunk."

"Oh well, in that case..."

And Obi-Wan was right. I spent three hours in a sort of trance, in deep concentration, meditating longer than the usual. I really needed it. When I snapped out of the trance, I could really feel the Force flowing around me better than before. It was in turmoil, but still, I couldn't read it quite well. Like Padmè had said earlier, we where heading to the eye of the storm, and we all could sense it in the air.

I slept for a couple of hours after that, woken up by Obi-Wan. He offered my third cup of coffee of the day, which I gladly accepted and around him I could feel that the time spent in trance had been fruitful even for him. He had been agitated, as much as me, at least, but after five hours, well, he had changed completely.

Everything was a little different.

We could both see a little clearer around us, and, unfortunately, that sense of fear and incoming danger was sort of amplified and... well, it didn't feel good.

"Everything alright?" he asked.

I drank half of my cup and nodded. "Yes. I just don't like this situation. That's all."

"It will be over soon, in less than two days we'll be back on Dantooine and everything will be back to normality once more, I'm sure about it."

Good for him. I had the feeling that in less than ten hours, everything would never be the same.

* * *

_As fast as light. Hey, I didn't know I could write that fast if not under a stressful situation! I'm very proud of myself right now! _

_So... well, there's not much to say except that this is the last quiet chapter before the explosion. Next one is going to be a tough one. Anyway... hope you liked the fluffy part. Have fun guys, see ya next time! _


	31. The Rhythm Of The Heat

**Chapter 31 – The Rhythm Of The Heat**

It didn't take long to arrive to Ruusan. I spent most of the remaining time of the flight sitting on the edge of my bunk, checking my lightsaber as I did prior to any certain battle to avoid any malfunction during any kind of situation. I didn't want a dead battery or anything like that to occur, even if I knew that the batter was new and that all the circuits were completely fine, since I had checked them not a month earlier while on Naboo, while I explained the basics of the weapon functioning to the kids.

I was nervous. I thought I had gone past the nervousness thing, I mean, I had gone through so many battles and trials in my life that nervousness was something I should have been used to. Fear was a feeling I knew way better, most of all because I had lived in fear for most of my life, for various reasons... still, that day, I was more nervous than scared.

I could still feel the bite of terror in the pit of my stomach, twisting and gripping my guts in a vice, but that was something I got very good at controlling. The problem was the sense of restlessness that took over my limbs. My left leg wouldn't stop shaking, jumping up and down as if electrocuted. I had to push it down a couple of times to make it stop moving, still, my foot refused to stay flat on the floor of the cockpit. I couldn't stop myself from tapping my fingers on the armrest of the co-pilot chair I was sitting in. The annoying sound was getting to my nerves and still I couldn't make it end. And, to be true, I wasn't working to make it better. At all.

I was already at my fifth cup of coffee for the day and it seemed like it wasn't enough. I had grown accustomed at drinking a lot of the beverage since I had got out of prison, most of all when I was on Dxun, you know, to keep me up and functioning when I had those nasty problems with insomnia that made me cranky and sleepy, but I never had more than three cups per day. In that particular moment, I could have drunk the whole thing. I my metabolism apparently craved it, I don't know why. My body probably knew that I would have needed all the energies I could gather and more than sleep and meditation, the psychoactive substance was what I needed.

Anyway, when the computer signaled that we were close to our destination, I jolted on my seat. I was so engrossed in my thoughts that the high pitched alarm slightly scared me. I punched the button to stop the shrill with a little more force than necessary.

"Hey, no need to mistreat the ship!" stated Obi-Wan.

I nodded. "I know. Sorry, I'm just a little nervous, that's all."

"No need. We're all nervous. It's just that we'll need the ship in one piece to get back to Dantooine, even the button to stop the hyperguide alarm is important."

"I know, I know." I repeated. "I'm a little on the edge, that's all. I think I can handle it but..."

Suddenly, I felt someone touching my shoulders. Padmè had silently walked behind me and had placed her hands around the nape of my tensed neck and slowly, she pushed all the right buttons. As soon as her warm fingers started working on my strained muscles, I felt a lot better. "You're tensed, and when you're tensed you snap. Don't worry, we both know it. Just relax a little, we can take the ship down to the planet and you can concentrate on finding the place."

"I'll... I'll try. I just... oh man I needed this!" I think I've already told you that she could always reduce me to a puddle of bones and flesh when she got her hands on me. Damn, I can't even believe I wrote something like that... well, I guess you know what I meant.

"I know you needed this. Just get us down there, so we can pick Jax up and you'll get a lot more than this!"

"Padmè, please..." whined Obi-Wan. "Too much information!"

"Oh, sorry... I didn't mean to embarrass you!"

"I know, don't worry. It's just... yes, it's embarrassing! I just think I know a little too much than what I would prefer about your private life!"

"Well, let's hope you we won't need to go on a similar trip too soon!" she replied.

"Let's hope we won't need to go on a similar trip ever again!" he punctuated. "Really, I appreciate the fact that Anakin asked me to go looking for Jax with him, and that in the end you came with us, but I don't think I'll ever want to embark in this kind of quest again. Either I'm growing too old or I got used to keeping a low profile during the years, and I like it! This... this is hell, even for me. And not knowing what we're about to face really bugs me, I guess I picked this up from Anakin. I just want to go back home."

"You're right. This doesn't work for us anymore. Our perspectives have changed too much." I said. "And they'll change again, in the span of a few hours. I'm sure of it."

Not ten seconds later, Artoo pulled the ship out of hyperspace and the planet appeared in front of us, or at least its outline, barely visible through the massive nebula separating us from the surface. Padmè was still working on my sore neck and I was already concentrating on the Force around us. Not that I could distinguish anything too bright or definite but at least I had a something to do while waiting.

"Artoo, bring the ship down as slow as you can and when you get down to the atmosphere, get the ship in orbit and leave it there. We'll need to gather our ideas before we dive into action." said Obi-Wan.

Artoo whistled his approval and slowly followed his instructions. While taking the ship through the nebula, he carefully maneuvered the wheel in order to avoid electricity nodes or other dangerous obstacles, taking his own time not to screw up the ship. Flying through a nebula, of any kind, is always dangerous. There were too many things that could go wrong that the list was almost infinite, and I didn't really want to think about the possibilities of a failure in that moment.

I actually didn't really know what I was thinking.

I took a deep breath as I followed a long electric discharge go through the windshield probably a couple of miles ahead of us. All the ships of every fleet had a very strong shield against electrical interferences but, as Obi-Wan had said, we needed the ship in one piece to back to Dantooine. Those kind of discharges could be lethal for any electric circuit. Our ship included. Artoo knew that we didn't need any kind of problem so we took the ship very slowly and very carefully. His protocols were far more better suitable than any nervous man too anxious to set foot on the surface.

Roughly ten minutes later, an alarm echoed in the ship. Jolting a little, I pushed the button to silence it. I read a message on the screen. "I don't like it."

"What?"

"This. Apparently, there's a some volcanic activity near one of the locations we've individuated." I brought up the holomap from the console and the area flashed in bright red. "Here. It's close to the one in the southern hemisphere."

Obi-Wan leaned towards the map and observed it as it rotated, mimicking the planet rotation, and the seismic activity was signaled by a flashing light. "It might not be our destination Anakin, don't worry. Let Artoo take us to the atmosphere, then we'll see, OK?"

"Yes Master. I'll try."

"Good. Have you felt something?" he asked.

I shook my head. "No, not yet. At least nothing important. But that volcanic activity intrigues me."

"Intrigues?" asked Padmè.

I nodded. "Yes. I don't know, it's just something you said some hours ago. The seismic activities coming from the Force Nexus..."

"Interesting theory but even the Temple was a Force Nexus and we never had this kind of activity in the whole history of the Order."

"I'm aware of that but... you heard what Master Jinn said yesterday: the Force is unpredictable and it can't be put on a leash. Some aspects of it can be controlled, just for a short moment. And it's rarely a permanent change. Every Force Nexus is different, why can't this one cause volcanic and seismic activity?"

He leaned back on the chair and folded his arms across his chest, silent. After a couple of minutes of deep thinking and convulsive twitching of his beard, he sighed. "I don't know. In the last couple of days I think I've lost all my certainties. I don't know what's real and what's just born out of my mind. I still rely on the Force, and it's telling me you could be right." he paused for a moment and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Artoo, as soon as we're out of the nebula, get in the atmosphere as fast as you can. And stay in orbit!"

The barrel like droid beeped and whistled. About two silent minutes later, we were out of the nebula, and Ruusan finally appeared in plain view ahead of us, about ten minutes of impulse flight away from us. As soon as the whole ship was out of it, Artoo sped the engines and pushed the ship towards the planet. Less than five minutes and we were already in orbit, floating in space with the engine turned off and only the stabilizers keeping us on the right trajectory.

"Alright. We're in orbit. What now?" asked Padmè.

Do you think I had a reasonable answer? No. friggin'. Way.

"And now we leave Anankin alone to do what he does better: following his instinct." replied Obi-Wan. Luckily, he was faster at thinking than me. He stood up and sighed. "Come, let's leave him alone. I doubt we would be helpful in here."

"Sit down. You can stay. Most of all Padmè."

I heard her chuckling behind me. "You still find my presence soothing?"

I smiled, briefly. "Always. And nothing will change that! Hence, stay here, both of you."

He looked down at me and then sat down again. "Alright. But if we disturb you, just tell us."

"Sure. Just... stay silent and try not to think too loudly, OK?"

With that, I leaned on the chair and closed my eyes. I let the low whisper of the engine lull me back to the state of deep meditation I had left about two hours earlier. I reached it incredibly fast, everything considered. But this time... this time it was different. A lot different.

There was something... strange. But not weird just... alien, unrelated. Something that didn't belong.

There was a noise. Something that came out from the background. Like... like a drumming noise inside my head.

I was searching for clues in the Force, I let it flow around and through me, literally abandoning myself to its flowing like a river. But there was that... drum! That steady rhythm that filled my ears but I was sure that both Padmè and Obi-Wan couldn't hear it. It was far away, barely audible, as if it was part of the white noise, those frequencies not audible my human ears. That pounding was sort of borderline sound, sometimes I could hear it and some other times I couldn't.

It depended pretty much on which direction I "looked" towards. A steady, shallow rhythm. Like a wardrum. A faraway wardrum pounding in my head.

It didn't make sense.

What the hell was that noise?

I tried to push it out of my mind, away from me, and for a moment I thought I was successful. I let the Force flow around me and I followed its guidance. The lead was strong and I just followed it, like a path set before me.

Three locations. Three suitable places that could have worked for us. Three places scattered around the planet. I had to hurry up if we wanted to arrive and find Jax in time. Where the hell was he heading? No clue. We just knew the name of the place.

The Valley Of The Jedi.

A mythic place, long forgotten by the Galaxy, precluded to all the Jedi by a thousand years old order of the then Council of the Jedi. A place of dread and terrible memories. Hundreds of souls trapped inside those rocky walls, hundreds of men that never had rest, even in death. That place only brought up terrible thoughts.

And there was that volcano. Each time I directed my senses towards that particular place in the southern hemisphere it attracted me. That was when I heard the drumming inside my head louder.

May that be a sign of guidance?

Too soon.

I shoved the thought aside and concentrated on the other two places.

Useless.

I kept going back to the cave in the south.

And the drumming came back.

I changed tactic.

Instead of trying to find the place, I tried to follow Jax's track.

It took some more concentration though.

I breathed deeply and slowly, even though I barely registered it, consciously, and went back to my task. It was probably the first time I perused through the Force for so long and so hard. On a conscious level I mean. Unconsciously, I had always relied on it, but right in that moment, I was consciously clinging to it, holding on with all my strenght, trying to follow its lead, knowing that I was following it. And it was incredibly hard. And I mean it.

Searching for a place is a matter. Searching for a person is completely different. Places have a certain echo in the Force, but people, they have this peculiar resonance that some define as music, and some actually perceive it as music. Aleha was one of them, but I wasn't. To me, the echo of a person in the Force was more like a low rumble, or sometimes a whistle, but it wasn't always a tune. Well, I actually heard a tune, like Aleha had always told me, only once or twice in my life. And I couldn't remember when. Anyway, in that moment, all I heard was a loud, cacophonous sound that resembled an industrial plant with some nasty problems with all the machinery. It wasn't good. It was distracting. I tried to focus even further and after what seemed like an eternity, I sensed something.

Better, someone.

Like a flickering candlelight far away in the dark. A louder, distinct noise that stands out the background. A whistle, if you need a clear metaphor, that stood above the white noise. It echoed everywhere around me and I followed that resonance like a guide.

It didn't take long before I realized that that "whistle" got stronger when I thought of that place with the volcanic activity, along with the drumming.

But at that point I realized something.

The heat.

Each time I heard the sound of the drum in my head, I felt a heat wave washing over me, like the sea on the shore. And it was hot. Incredibly hot. As if the heat followed the rhythm. Or the rhythm followed the heat waves. It didn't make much sense but even though I was pretty much detached by the external world, the feeling was so real that I started sweating.

Then I felt like a strong blow to the back of my head. As if someone had hit me with a pipe.

And a strange scene appeared in front of me. A large, plain, grassy area circled by high mountains. Some of the peaks were covered with snow. I looked around and I was the setting sun in the... well I thought it was the west but I wasn't really sure about it. On the other side though, there were thick clouds obscuring the sky. I was pretty sure they brought rain with them, and they were coming fast towards the valley.

With the setting sun on one side and the clouds coming from the other, the sky had a peculiar reddish tone.

The Red Rain.

As I realized that was the place we were looking for the ground beneath my feet shook. A short earthquake. Low intensity. But still, an earthquake. And right after the short earthquake I saw a tall figure right in front of me. Jax, just as I had seen in my dream some hours before.

Suddenly I jolted awake. I was panting, and I was drenched.

"Hey, you alright?"

I breathed deeply and nodded. "Yes. Perfect. I... I saw the place. I saw Jax..."

"Where is it?"

I looked up ad Obi-Wan and sighed. "The volcanic activity. It's right there."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Damn sure I am. I saw it, I was there. Better, it felt like I was there. And the earth shook, like an earthquake. We must go there. That's the place!"

"Alright, I trust you. Artoo, head there!" he ordered. "As fast as you can!"

A long moment of silence followed. I squinted my eyes and rubbed them to get some of the weariness out of my system.

"How do you feel?" asked Padmè.

"Exhausted. But I'm OK. I... I just need a moment." I wiped the sweat from my forehead. The t-shirt I was wearing was soaked with sweat and stuck to my skin. It didn't feel good. "I... do I have time for a shower?"

"I think so, but why?"

"I... I feel like I just came out of a run in the Jundland Wastes. If you wrung my clothes you'll get at least a glass of sweat. I'm not comfortable, this way."

Obi-Wan knew how important the feeling of physical comfort was for a Jedi. All our garments were designed not to hinder movements in any case, not even if soaked with cooling jelly. But being all sweaty and slick had always made me felt terrible. The feeling of fabric stuck against my skin made me sort of sick. Well, not sick, just uncomfortable.

And after that quick shower and a change of clothes I felt a lot better. I pulled my hair back when it was still wet so it would remain like that a little longer and got out of the small bathroom. "How long?" I asked as I stepped in the cockpit.

"Not long. Artoo just got the ship at cruise height and is now flying southwards as fast as permitted. He said he also found a suitable place for landing, not a two hundred yards away from the place we've found."

"Great. Do we have an ETA?"

"Twenty minutes. Maybe thirty." replied Padmè she had moved to the co-pilot chair and was now taking care of the duties. "If we're lucky, we'll get there and within the hour we should be already flying to Dantooine."

"Not if we can't find Jax. Or if we can't convince him to come with us. Remember what Owen and Beru said? He doesn't trust the Alliance. He thinks we're making too much noise and that we can't protect him, not from Vader he thinks. That's the main problem." I told them.

"Well, nothing has gone as we thought, maybe this time we'll be lucky." proposed Obi-Wan, folding his arms across his chest. "Even if I've never been keen to rely only on sheer luck."

"Yeah, you've always told me that a man has to make his own luck seeking the right occasions."

"Well, Qui Gon used to tell me that. And I still believe he was right, after more than thirty years."

"My father used to tell me that luck doesn't exist. That a man or a woman makes his own fortune, by working. It's pretty much the same, but with a different undertone. Anyway you two should get ready. We're almost there."

"What do you mean?" asked Obi-Wan.

"I don't know, don't you Jedi have a ritual before this kind of action?"

"Nope. We just dive into action and come what may, we fight our way out of any kind of situation." I replied. "Some do meditate, but what the hell, we've been doing that for hours!"

She raised her hands, defensively. "Sorry."

"No need. Every Jedi has his ritual before battle. Ours is just to take it easy and relax." replied Obi-Wan. "So... let's get down there and we'll see what happens."

Not half and hours later we were on the site. And as in my vision, we had the reddish sky with the setting sun on one side and the thick, rainy clouds on the other. And they were coming fast. The smell of rain was heavy in the air. We were surrounded by mountains and the ground was harsh and rocky for miles around us. And the Force was strong in that place. Like a whirlwind, or maybe a tornado, that spun in that place. The wind swept the place coming down from the mountains in the north, dragging the dark clouds with it.

Perfect place for a battle.

It just felt right. The fight I mean. It just felt like it was the perfect moment for a great brawl.

And that scared me. Not much, but I wasn't comfortable with it.

"So... here we are. The Force drove you here. What about now?"

I looked around for some time and sighed. "I don't know. What do you think we should do?"

He was about to reply but I felt Padmè touching my shoulders. "Look there!"

I turned around and looked at her direction she was pointing at. At first I didn't see anything, then something caught my eye. A reflex or something like that, or better a movement. Someone was walking towards us, as if coming out of thin air.

I fumbled with my utility belt and pulled out the binocular. It took me a while to find the right spot and focus the lenses but there was no doubt. It was a man but he was still too far away from our place to recognize him. That binocular didn't go that far.

"Can you see who he is?" asked Obi-Wan.

"No." I replied. "He's too far but..." the drumming noise had returned. And also the heat waves. It felt like being invested by the hot winds of Tatooine with each beat of the drum. "It's him. That's Jax! I'm sure!"

"But if you can't see him..."

I stopped him. "I know. But I'm sure. It's... I can't really explain but I know it's him. It's... it's the Force! It's leading me to him!"

He nodded. "Alright. I trust you. Let's go and find him!"

He gestured to move but I stopped him, grabbing his arm. "No. Let him come. We would scare him and make him run away. Let him come by himself."

And about five minutes later, he hastened his pace towards our direction, but he moved cautiously, and I was sure he had his lightsaber at hand. In fact, when he was about two hundred yards away, I saw the handle glistening in his right hand.

He stopped roughly ten yards north of us.

"I can't believe it..." he snapped. He didn't say anything else, just that.

"What?" I asked. "That Ferus was right and I'm still alive, or that we've found you?"

He didn't speak. I took that time to take a good look at him. He had changed a lot in the last nine years, but for someone who knew him well, he was still the same. He had died his hair and shaved his beard, but his eyes were still the same: clear and inquisitive, always looking for clues and the particulars of his surroundings. He had changed his appearance, but he was still the same Jax Pavan I had grown up with.

"Is that really you?"

"Yes Jax, it's me."

He clutched his lightsaber a bit more tightly and I saw his thumb hovering over the switch.

"How did you find me?"

"We followed your trail. We've hacked in your computer, then Tatooine..."

"How did you get into my computer?" he asked, igniting his lightsaber. That wasn't good.

"Because we've got a great slicer helping us, that's why! You didn't make it easy for us!"

"It wasn't supposed to be easy for anyone!"

"Well, I get it. Come on, turn that thing off! We're not going to kill you!" I tried to reassure him.

He stood there for a long moment the turned his lightsaber off and hanged it back to his lightsaber. "I'm sorry Anakin. You know, i've got Vader right behind my ass and..."

"No need Jax. Just..." he walked towards us and hugged me, tightly. "Just... come with us. We'll talk on the ship!"

"But what the hell happened to your face?" he asked stepping back and looking up at me.

I waved at him to dismiss the matter. "Don't worry, just a tiny encounter with come guys who wanted to fight."

"One day or another you'll get yourself killed, I tell you! Master Kenobi..." he bowed. "It's good to see you."

"Same here Jax." he bowed himself. "We've been looking for you everywhere!"

"And you owe me some explanations I think. Senator Amidala, it's good to know you're still alive."

"It's Naberrie now and please, call me Padmè."

"Alright, now please tell me why you've been looking for me. You've got yourself some nasty troubles to find me!" he said. A hint of a smile lit his face. Only then I noticed the hollowed cheeks and the dark shadows under his eyes. He was dead tired, and we needed to get out of there.

"We have time for that, but now we've got to hurry. We need to get back to our ship and head back to the base."

"Woah what base? What the hell are you talking about?"

"The Alliance. We've got to get you to a safe place. We know Vader's got the Inquisitors on your tail and we can protect you!" I replied. "And we must hurry!"

"No way! I have no intention to join the Rebel Alliance!" he snapped, angrily. "I can't get involved!"

"What?" I snapped myself. "Come on, you've got to be kidding, we can protect you from the Empire, we can hide you! They managed to hide me, and look where I am now!"

"No. No way. You make too much noise for my tastes! You can't protect me! You can't! I've dealt with my mess myself for years and I can go on like that. I'm fine with that!"

I knew it wasn't going to be easy. Jax had always been incredibly stubborn and even after so many years he hadn't changed a bit. I knew I had an ace up my sleeve but I didn't want to play that card so soon. Actually, I didn't want to play that card at all. I didn't want to be the one to tell him he had a daughter, but I could tell him we knew where Aleha was. And that could help us.

"Listen... Aleha is there."

Apparently, that worked. "What? Where's Aleha?" he suddenly changed demeanor. "What happened to her?"

"Nothing, she's perfectly fine but..."

Suddenly, the drumming in my head got louder and louder and it seemed like it came from behind me. I didn't need to turn around to understand what was going on. We needed to hurry.

But I wouldn't matter how hurriedly we could run towards our ship and how fast Artoo could take it out of the orbit of the planet to jump at lightspeed. There was an Imperial ship coming down near us. And I was pretty sure a very know Imperial Inquisitor was on it, waiting to get on the planet.

I wasn't wrong.

We all grabbed our lightsabers or guns and turned on our heels. The ship quickly landed on the ground and once the reddish dust had settled, we saw the entrance ramp opening not thirty yards away.

"I've got a bad feeling about this..." murmured Jax dropping his backpack on the ground.

No one dared to reply. Behind a whole stormtrooper squadron and three other Inquisitors there was Sahn Dalan himself.

"Well, well, well... look who I found! Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Jax Pavan! Three birds with one stone! Must be my lucky day!"

A long, tensed silence followed. It was Jax who broke it.

"Anakin, seriously, fuck you!"

* * *

_I'm getting a little faster at writing. Seems like inspiration struck me like a lightening a couple of weeks ago. Well, I don't mind. I hope you don't too. Next one will be a bomb, trust me! Enjoy it and have fun! Love ya!_


	32. Pouring Down All Over Me

_Ready for the big thing? Ready? Here we go!_

* * *

**Chapter 32 – Pouring Down All Over Me**

"_Anakin, seriously, fuck you!"_

Well, I couldn't really blame him for that. I would say the same thing if the man that had been chasing me for the past few weeks and that I had managed to avoid for so long appeared in front of me. Most of all in that kind of situation.

And that particular situation didn't look good on our side.

The squadron of stormtroopers had surrounded us, with their weapons raised and ready to shoot us down, Dalan was right in front of us and the other three Inquisitors were just behind him, watching over him as his bodyguards. Among them, I recognized one of those who had used me as a punching sack, two days earlier. The boss actually, the one that gave orders, probably his right hand man, Bors. His gaze was fixed on me and I could see he was smirking, though trying to hide it. I knew he was something more than just a thug, by the way he talked to me.

Now, wearing the traditional Inquisitor robe, and not the casual clothes I had seen him wearing, he looked somehow smaller. Shorter and thinner. The baggy robe swallowed him, as if it was two sizes bigger than his own.

The other two unknown Inquisitors looked pretty much the same way, standing there with their too big clothes and their scornful faces, right behind their boss, weapons drawn but not ignited. As if they were made from the same mold. Same size, same cold eyes, same tensed faces. I had seen one of them in my dreams. The one with the scarred face, I remembered him. The scary one.

One of them cleared his throat, breaking the thick silence for a moment, then it fell again.

I threw a quick glance around me, counting sixteen troopers, four in front of us, eight at our sides and four behind us. They weren't Fett's clones, their echo in the Force was different. A lot different. Apparently, they were all volunteer soldiers, they felt all different, at least to me.

Obi-Wan stood at my left, a step or two farther than Jax. Both of them were set on the edge, holding their weapons at their side, ready to fight. Padmè had stepped behind me. I couldn't see her clearly from my position but I was quite sure she had grabbed her concealed weapon and was pointing it towards one of the troopers. Or maybe more.

I had a very bad feeling about this.

The more I tried to think about a way to get out of that situation and more I found only dead ends or deadly traps. The continuous swirl of the Force around us made it difficult to think, I still heard that drumming in my head that made it harder to think. It also made it difficult to concentrate even on the basic things. In those long, eternal moments, I forgot how to breathe a couple of times.

Add the fact that the noise was only in my head and not real, that my ears couldn't really perceive it, well, it was driving me crazy. No one around us made a noise, I doubted they barely breathed actually.

And that silence was unnerving me.

"So?"

Dalan's voice snapped me out of my train of thoughts.

"So what?" I asked him. I was sure he was talking to me.

"So, what do you say?" he continued. I wasn't wrong. "I told you I was good at my job! The best, actually!"

I took my time before replying. Yes, he had told me he was the best. Yes, at that point, I thought he was truly the best detective enrolled in the ranks of the Empire but I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of stating it myself, most of all in front of him. Most of all, since he wasn't just a detective, he was a Force Sensitive human being, that made him away ahead of the average policeman on every planet of the Galaxy. The Force was a great benefit with his job.

I couldn't just agree with him, at least out loud. I had to find a way out of that.

"How did you find us?"

Not the best way to skirt out of the matter but hey, that's the best I could come up in that moment.

Too bad he had already anticipated the move.

"Master Skywalker, you disappoint me! Didn't want to answer me because you know I'm right and you just ask me another question? I thought you were way better than this!"

"I'm better with the sword than with words. You should know that, if you really followed my deeds so eagerly back in the days."

It was true. I was better with weapons than words. Most of all in that kind of situation. And if he really had followed my "career" back in the days of the Fall of the Republic, he should have known it well. Obi-Wan was the talker. I severed limbs, he tried to reason with the Separatists. I beheaded people who tried to shoot me down and he worked on a pacific solution to our problems.

That caught him off guard. He changed expression, going from smug to scornful.

I had hit a soft spot, apparently.

"True." he stated. Short and simple. His pale blue eyes darkened and in the dim light of sunset sort of became pitch black. The sudden change made me cringe a little, even if it was only an optical effect. "It seems like I overestimated your abilities. Or I transferred some on Master Kenobi actions on you."

"The press didn't help." Interjected Obi-Wan.

Again silence fell all around us. A thick, uncomfortable silence that made me shiver a couple of times.

I was still looking for a way out of that deadly situation but apparently every possible scenario I could make up in my mind ended with one of us, or everyone, dead.

I had promised myself that I'd take everyone home safe and sound, and without severed limbs if possible. But the lightsaber wielders on the other side were four and we were just three. Not that it mattered much, I mean, Obi-Wan had beat General Greivous and he used six lightsabers. I had stood my ground against Dooku multiple times and I had my ways with both Ventress and Vader. Jax had survived a meeting with him too, beating three Inquisitors with twenty years of training and practice less than us shouldn't be a problem.

What to do then?

Well, life had taught me that in this kind of situation is impossible to plan. Just go with the flow and see what happens.

And try not to die.

"Yes, you definitely overestimated my abilities. I'm a warrior, not a talker. And I know you belong to the second category. You've got Obi-Wan here this time so, talk... what do you want?"

Dalan looked at me for a long moment then switched his attention to my Master. "Well... Master Kenobi, mind a few words?"

"As long as we can be civil..."

He nodded. "Absolutely. Your Padawan wants to know what I want. Do you want to know?"

"I have to say I'm a little curious about your intentions. You know, just to play fair."

"And your curiosity will be satisfied. I want you. My intentions haven't changed since fifty four hours ago. I want you, alive, all of you, except the Senator, so I can take you to Coruscant and hand you to the Emperor. This way, I will collect three bounties. With all that money I could afford to retire and get my family out of Coruscant, find a nice place on a peripheral planet and live my life happily. That's all I want."

"They all seem legit motivations. And what would our role be in your plan for retirement?"

"As I see it, there are two possibilities at the moment. One: you consign yourselves to me, no fighting, no blood, no problems. We escort the Senator anywhere she wants so her Rebel friends can pick her up and take her to safety. I won't reveal her location or that she's alive. Two: you fight, we kill or maim you and we take you to Coruscant anyway. The choice is yours!"

Pretty much what I had thought myself.

Not good. Either way, we weren't going to end up well. And I wanted to get back home as soon as I could, I didn't care how many people I had to kill in order to get there in one piece.

The only problem that kept popping up in my mind was the presence of the stormtroopers. With only the Inquisitors, the problem was pretty much solved. Fight them, kill them. No problem. I had done that a thousand times, and I could do it again. We could do it again actually!

"You see, Inquisitor Dalan, there's a tiny, tiny problem here. We have no intention to surrender but we wish we wouldn't need to fight. There are people waiting for us and we just want to go home. Is there a way we can find a way out of here that doesn't involve us getting killed or on Coruscant?" tried Obi-Wan.

Dalan appeared to be thoughtful for a moment, but it was evident that it was only a ruse. Everyone of us could see it on his face. He was a good actor, other than a great detective, but in that moment he didn't want to show his ability. Still didn't know why.

"You're trying to bribe me, Master Kenobi? That's so low, even for a Jedi!"

"We're guardians of peace! If that involves some good ol' bribery, well, I'm ready to move some money here and there!"

True. It wasn't the first time he tried to bribe someone in order to get out of nasty scenarios. Usually, it worked, most of all with men involved in Hutt businesses. Money could move planets after all.

"And do you think you can afford to pay me the sum of the three bounties combined?"

"How much would that be?"

"Master, my own bounty consists in 70.000 credits." I said. "And Jax's is pretty much the same. Your's around 50.000. No, we can't afford that! That's more of the retail price of my X-Wing. No way."

"Well, in that case, no, we can't afford that." he added.

"Maybe not now!" interjected Padmè. "We don't have enough cash right now, but I have access to the Alliance funds. We can afford that. I guarantee that!"

No way. We wouldn't pay them. We wouldn't help that bastard live his nice life without a single problem crossing his mind while he just enjoyed his peace while we strove in order to get rid of the Empire as soon as we could, in order to save the Galaxy from ruin and misery.

I wouldn't do that.

And no one could force me, even if we had the money.

"No." I growled, my voice so low and guttural I myself could barely recognize it.

"What?" asked Dalan.

"No. I said no! We won't pay. We won't give you a fucking credit from our pockets. That money is not ours, we cannot take it at our leisure! You won't see anything from our pockets!"

Obi-Wan shook his head. I had just sent all his negotiations out of the window like it was trash. Well, to me Dalan was trash! "Anakin, please, calm down. Let me do the talk."

It was my moment to shake my head. "No. Not this time. I'm done with talking. We can't help him. We can't pay the Empire. It's like funding our enemy! And I won't do this!"

I just couldn't take it anymore. I flexed my fingers around the hilt of my weapon, took a deep breath and prayed to the Force that what I was going to do would work. Then with a circular motion I threw it just like I had done two weeks earlier on Coruscant. The blue blade flashed like a lightening all around us, clashing and slicing everything it encountered on its path. While I steadied it's trajectory through the Force, I kept my eyes focused on Dalan.

By the look on his face, he was speechless, completely at loss of words. I bet he had never seen something like that. Saber throwing was a very difficult and advanced technique, rarely used and barely taught, that few Jedi, or Sith, knew. With each clone limb or head that my blade severed, his face grew more and more stupefied and when the last trooper fell to the ground, either dead or unconscious, he went from stupefied to upset and slightly worried.

He had really underestimated me. He had never seen me fighting, he couldn't be aware of the progresses I had made during the last nine years and even if that was only the second time I tried it, well, that thing worked pretty much fine. And if that was enough to make their confidence shake, well, I could do it as much as I thought it necessary.

As my now inactive weapon landed in my outstretched hand I felt an incredible surge of energy running through my body, like an electrical charge being released in the air that went through me. And it was strange. Really, really strange, something I had never experienced, not with that intensity at least!

I looked around for a moment and chuckled. "Right, now we're in for a fair fight. Wanna rethink about the bribery?"

Dalan regained his composure, going back to his usual derisive smirk, but his colleagues, behind him, were visibly uncomfortable. After what I had done, and I was sure they had never seen anything like this, or even imagined it was possible, I was sure they had completely changed opinion on me. Shy, reserved and silent, like in the cell?

Like hell, that was Atton Rosh. And I felt like Anakin Skywalker in that moment.

"Master Skywalker, please, there was no need to kill those men. If you wanted a fair fight I could have called them off!"

So not true. Those troops were there to kill us. And all of us knew it.

"Inquisitor Dalan, please!" replied Obi-Wan, "We all know that's not true! There absolutely no need to try and fool us!"

He nodded and sighed. "Indeed, so I noticed. Now that we are fairly paired, what do you want to do? Are you still inclined to bribe us? Because if the offer is still valid, I might be still willing to accept it!"

"No!" I yelled again. "We won't pay you! Not with the funds of the Alliance!"

"Ah, yes... I had almost forgot how loyal you can be! Pathetic!"

I bit down my tongue hard trying to suppress a loud curse in huttese. "I may be pathetic but at least I'm not that kind of man that can be bought!"

"Master Skywalker, you are still young and somewhat naïve. Money has its perks, and I'm tired of playing the part of the bloodhound for the Emperor and this is my chance." he confessed. "One way or another, I'll have that money, with or without your help. Or I'll never this place alive."

"Let's see then who'll take the ship back in one piece!" proposed Jax. "I'm tired of all this talking! Is he always so annoying?"

"Oh, even more if he's in the mood." I answered. "So, what do you say? Want to settle this?"

"Why not. Let's settle it like men. Better, let's settle it like the good ol' times!" there was nothing good in the tone of his voice. "Bors, Anton, Jo'll, go. Do as you please, the bounty is for dead or alive!"

Too lazy, or too calculator to fight by himself, but after all, the rap sheet Lysveet had given us weeks before, I should have expected it.

Their red lightsabers lit in unison and their low hum echoed in the valley.

Three other blades, blue this time, came to life, ready to clash against them.

As smart as always, Padmè retreated to a safer place, carbine in her hands, ready to fire, far, far away from the fight.

When the three inquisitors leaped towards us, we were more than ready. As they attacked with all their strength, we raised our own and parried the strikes. Fast and hard, they recoiled from the clash and hit again. Another time, we all managed to parry their blows with ease.

"Hey, I thought the Empire wanted only the best for their ranks!" shouted Jax not a minute later. Our adversaries were already all sweaty and panting while we were still fresh and breathing normal. "These three are almost worse than the battle droids!"

Bors, the guy that was clumsily trying to hack my head off my body, grimaced in anger and started hitting faster and harder, concentrating a little more on what he was doing. He was really trying hard to impress his boss, it was pretty much clear. Probably he wanted to become a sort of favorite, a right arm, a best man. Stuff like that. I knew the feeling, and I knew the weaknesses of this particular state of mind.

I could beat him as easily as I could throw Luke off my back when we wrestled back at home.

I let him continue his flurry of random, totally uncalled blows until he stepped forward with his right foot that inch too much that got him slightly on a precarious balance. Perfect chance.

I dodged his downward swing and stepped aside, enough to be out of reach for at least six seconds but close enough to hit him. Exploiting the recoil of my jump, I kicked his knee hard. The delicate joint broke almost instantly, with bones, tendons and ligaments snapping, cracking and popping. One of the worst non lethal wounds a man could endure. It was incredibly painful, some even think it's worse than hamstringing!

Bors crumbled down on the dusty ground, howling in pain. His crudely built lightsaber turned off and fell apart the same moment it hit the ground leaving him unharmed and possibly crippled for life.

I looked down at him, maimed and surely fired from the job, and suddenly felt a surge of pity for him. I was tempted only to cut off his leg, but people like him were just sadistic bastards that felt pleasure hurting other people, like he had done when he and his friends had tortured me, days before. Without even thinking, I pierced his chest, right through his heart. I doubt he suffered much as he died.

I looked around and saw Jax severing the right hand from the Inquisitor fighting him. He fell on the ground, holding the stub with his other hand, and never saw the blow that beheaded him coming.

Obi-Wan had already killed his attacker a few moments before and was now wiping the dust from his hands. In a minute or more, we had removed the threat.

Suddenly I was thankful for all the years spent sparring and fighting during the war. My muscle memory never failed me, even after so many years.

I looked up at Dalan, who stood there apparently unimpressed by our little fighting show. It was our time to smile. He was alone against three well trained Jedi. Not the best situation for him!

Or so I thought.

As usual, I had the tendency to see only the immediate situation, right in front of my eyes, not the whole thing. I rarely thought about what would come next. Well, it was more a unique happening than anything else.

We stood there in silence for a long while, before Jax spoke.

"Now, what are you going to do? The great Jedi Hunter is now outnumbered!" he said, mocking him.

Dalan sighed, looked down at his hands while he took off his leather gloves and put them in his pocket. "Well, Master Pavan, seems like I am now on the wrong side of the battle. I have to say it's quite an unpleasant feeling." he made a step towards us, then crossed his arms behind his back.

"I guess you now know how it feels to be hunt down, surrounded and threatened." growled Jax. "Because that's what you do. You hunt, you kill."

"I don't hunt. I look for people when I'm ordered to. I am a detective, not an hunter."

"Well, your bosses make you look like you are one." said Obi-Wan. "They make you hunt people down like preys, that's what you do!"

"From your perspective. And I have to say you kind of hurt my feelings!"

Oh well great! A Sith with feelings! Come on!

"You chose who to be loyal too, and as we did. That forced us on different sides, that made us enemies to each other. But you can still change that!"

Dalan took a couple of seconds before he answered. "Loyalty. I still can't believe your kind can be loyal to anything, after everything that happened to you! How can you be loyal to anyone, when everything you were led to believe in drove you to your own people to their death?"

"Loyalty isn't a flaw!" was everything I could come up with, at that point.

"Not a flaw, a weakness! Loyalty drove the Jedi to their annihilation! Your blind loyalty to your conduct code and your Council blinded you!"

He was right. I looked at Jax and Obi-Wan, and they were thinking the same, I could read it on their faces.

A thunder shook the air. A moment later, I felt the first raindrops falling on the ground around me, then on my head. The tiny droplets soon became a full blown storm, with the cold water soaking my clothes and dripping down my hair and back. In that moment I realized I was hearing again that drumming, and with each beat I still felt those heat waves washing over me, and the cold rain didn't mitigate that feeling.

"That's true. We've been blind. Everyone of us. But at least we've never mercilessly killed people just because we could!"

"I have never killed anyone. Never. The dirty job was handled by others, never me."

"You ordered those murders, Dalan." I spit out. "Your hand are as dirty as your henchmen's."

"And what about yours, Master Skywalker? How about all those who perished by your hand? Ventress, Dooku? All those you killed in your life? What about those troops you slain a moment ago? What about Bors, down there? If my hands are dirty, yours are soaked with blood! You are all murderers!"

I was tired of it. Of all of it. I wanted to get over it, kill him and go back home.

"Yeah alright, we're cold blooded killers, we all get it." interjected Jax. "Now please, would you mind doing something, you know, somethin' totally suicidal like, you know, trying to fight off three full trained Jedi so we can part ways and go back to our lives?"

It was strange seeing Jax talking like that. He had always been calm and peaceful, I had never heard him talking like that. Well, if I had changed, then he could have changed too. I only hoped he hadn't changed so much.

Dalan, again, sighed and looked down at the shiny tip of his combat boots, before he looked up at us. "Well, if that's your plan, I have to ask you, Senator Amidala, to step back a little more. I promised not to hurt you and I intend to keep my pledge."

She had barely had the time to walk twenty yards back that he acted.

No one was expecting anything like that.

Out of thin air, an incredible surge of power rose from around him, the living Force twisted and turned as he silently maneuvered it and bend it to his will. Then he suddenly released it, against us, throwing us away. We were so surprised we didn't even have the time to react, we just flew back as if hit by a powerful blast wave. I fell with my back on the now muddy ground, sliding for a few yards before I managed to roll over and get to stand up again.

"What the fuck?" was everything I could think in that very moment.

Where the hell did that come from?

Such a great amount of power could be unleashed only after years and years of practice, and he had told me had been instructed in the ways of the Force for only six years now. What the hell was that?

Only then I noticed I had lost my lightsaber. When a lightening struck the ground probably not fifty miles away from our position, I saw the chromed hilt glistening in the mud, beside me. I pulled it up using the Force.

It was getting worse.

I had thought we were practically safe after the threat of the troopers and the three other Inquisitors had been canceled, but I was very wrong.

Suddenly, I felt slightly discouraged. I looked at my left and saw Obi-Wan and Jax wiping mud away from their faces and arms. There was something very, very wrong and they both silently agreed with me. We had underestimate Dalan because we thought he wasn't a full instructed Sith, but apparently, his raw potential was enormous and the little training he had received was enough to enabling him to do what he had just done. Something I doubted I myself could do, no matter what Master Jinn had told me.

"By the stunned look on your faces, I gather you weren't expecting anything like this."

Slowly, he walked toward us. The light around us had dimmed, as the sun went down behind the mountains and the thick clouds covered the bright moon that should have been shining behind us, and it was difficult now to see. I turned on my lightsaber, hoping that the light of the blade would allow me to see a little better. No such luck.

"You had underestimated me, I think. Am I right?" he asked, turning towards my Master.

"I think you may be right. Yes, we underestimated you but, you know, we are used at other kind of opponents." he replied.

"I give you that, in fact, I have never faced Jedi of your lot, I have to admit it. I've been usually sent to... let's say retrieve, only the crumbs. Darth Vader did a great job during the first years of the Purge, hunting down what was left of your Order. Now he has other matters to take care of and left us in charge of finding the rest of you. Up to now, I've found thirteen Jedi and seven former Padawans. But you're the first tough case I've been assigned. And I am really enjoying every second of it!"

"Enjoying?" asked Jax.

"Yes! Enjoying! The thrill of the hunt, if you allow me, it's somehow addicting! And the thought of having to kill you to end the job is even better."

I wasn't wrong then. Deep inside, he wasn't different from them, from the Sith I mean. He was just a sadistic son of a bitch that loved killing people, and he had to be stopped, one way or another.

"Then fight! Be a man! Now!" I snapped, harshly, as another lightening struck, this time closer to us.

"Oh I'll fight, don't worry!" his hand went at his side and he retrieved his lightsaber. From the position he assumed when he turned it on and assumed the guarding position, it was clear he fought using the sixth Form. Not good. At least for me. Obi-Wan had better chances, Jax too, being trained in the third Form. Ataru and Djem So didn't work very well against one another, most of all because of the guarding stance. Ataru Form required a lot of physical strength and was a very tiring style of fighting, but it was damn effective.

Yet, I was the first to attack him. I didn't wait for anyone, I just decided it was quite time to act and get over with that. I wanted everything to be over as soon as we could.

The flurry of hacks and slashes I unleashed on him practically did less than nothing on him. With each step, forward or backwards didn't matter, we practically just turned around in circles like a dog chasing his tail. It wasn't working at all. He was fast and, most of all, had a very strong stance that allowed him to deflect every blow I threw at him.

The raindrops sizzled when they hit our flurry blades and turned to steam, but I could barely hear the noise. I was so concentrated on him that I really could barely hear anything except for the low hum of our blades. It felt like my ears couldn't work anymore. It was just me, Dalan, and our lightsabers. I couldn't even hear the rain! I had always loved fighting in the rain, the cold water would avoid the sweating and everything. Yeah, my clothes stuck to my skin all the same but it was different. Clean, cool water was better than sticky sweat, don't you think?

Anyway...

In that moment, I was about to scream in frustration because of the rain. For real! The ground was muddy and slick, keeping control and stability was getting harder by the moment. As rumors had it, Dalan was an incredibly skilled swordsman, his technique was fine and terribly effective. But most of all, he was completely healthy while I was still recovering from the wounds his men had inflicted. I was slow on the left side for obvious reason and my sight had improved, but it wasn't working full time yet. I still had some blurred spots here and there, and that wasn't good for fighting. Most of all on such a terrain.

And Dalan knew it, so he hit right there where I was weaker. If at first I was the one furiously attacking, less than five minutes later I was desperately trying to defend my position and avoid another drastic limb amputation. I had already gone through that and I didn't want to repeat the experience.

Yet, every moment that passed made it harder and harder to keep up with him.

After the umpteenth turn I just stomped down with a little more force that necessary and jumped back, landing a few yards away from him. I needed to catch my breath, that fight was taking its toll on my still hurting body.

Dalan turned off his red blade and hung it back to his belt. He wiped the water away from his face, pushing his not so short hair away from his face. "So, Master Skywalker? Is this everything you have to offer?"

I took a deep breath, inhaling the deep scent of the rain and mud. "Maybe. What about you? Is this everything you have?"

It wasn't the best idea, taunting him, but I couldn't get any better idea in that moment. And most of all, he was above that kind of tricks. I knew perfectly well he would not react to that kind of insinuations.

"No, I still have some trick, and I'm quite sure you have yours too. Care to share? I'm quite curious!"

I reacted like a rookie. Like an brainless greenhorn. I acted out of rage at his continuous taunting and leaped towards him, blindly. I wanted to make that son of a bitch shut the fuck up forever and get over with everything he had told to me. I wanted to show him I wasn't born out of the Dark Side, that deep inside I was doomed to become a Sith like him, Vader and Sidious. That was the most idiotic thing I could do right then. I should have thought about consequences before jumping, but, as usual, I didn't.

Force Lightening.

He knew how to use that technique and that was something I would never expect from him. He hit me squarely in the chest when I was halfway in my long, Force aided jump, and the electric charge ripped through my body, sending it to overload and throwing me back.

The pain was excruciating. For real. I thought Dooku's charge was strong, but this was... this was awful.

I barely registered the fact that I landed squarely against a rock that came out of nowhere and that I banged my head against it. Not too hard, but enough to give me a nasty headache some hours later.

Still, I was awake. I didn't lose consciousness like the other time, apparently my body could now take better that kind of treatment, but it hurt like hell. And I mean it. My muscles felt like they were being ripped away from the bones, the tendons were on fire and the ligaments were curling on themselves. I curled on my side, holding my left shoulder that had suffered a bad hit with the fall and managed to open my eyes enough to see the Imperial ship going into a nasty short circuit, probably due the lightening.

If it was powerful enough to sent it frying up, well, you can imagine how it felt to be electrocuted that way.

Then the ship exploded.

Just like that. The electrical charge had been amplified by the rain and the short circuit was worse than expected. Fortunately, the reinforced bulkheads protected the front of the ship, the one facing us, and the first explosion, the most violent, was directed to the opposite side and not towards us. Still, the sound was deafening and the fire that rose from the fuel tank huge. All of a sudden, the whole area was lit as if it was broad daylight, and the light was blinding.

So I was laying there, with jolts of pain caused by the residual electricity running through my body and making me uncontrollably shake. I was trying to get back control of my own body but the effects were devastating. The fact that I was soaked with water didn't make it easier.

After thirty seconds of painful failures I just stopped trying and laid there, still shaking, in pain, waiting for the aftershock to go away. Even if my sight was hazed by the pain and the rain, I saw both Obi-Wan and Jax fighting tag team against Dalan who deftly parried and dodge every attack.

From my blurry, pained perspective, I can tell you, it didn't look good. At all.

Dalan was fighting with such an ease it was really a great show to watch. His movement were quick, effective, strong and full of grace, it was nearly impossible to believe that he had been trained in lightsaber fighting for such a short time. I mean, Obi-Wan was roughly two years older and had been trained for most of his life and it was clear it was hard for him to keep up. No, it didn't look good.

I turned on my back and looked up at the sky. I couldn't stand the sight of my friends fighting off my own battle because I had been too stupid to think. I just couldn't. Another strong electric jolt coursed through me, but this time... something was different. I didn't feel any pain. Nothing. It all felt numb.

My shoulder hurt, my head hurt worse, and I had the feeling a couple of actuators of my prosthetic limb had been fried by his lightening. The neural pad stung a little too.

But the pain was the last problem at the moment.

I heard a high pitch scream and turned just in time to see Jax and Obi-Wan being roughly pushed on the ground. Always worse!

Shaking his head, Dalan turned off his saber again and put it away.

"I'm so, so disappointed!" he shouted above the deafening noise of the rain. "I thought you'd finally be a matching opponent! And look at you! All on the ground, unable to defeat a poorly trained Inquisitor!"

He sounded so pleased with himself, it made me terribly angry. But what he said a moment later made my blood literally boil in my veins.

"Most of you, Anakin! The Hero with no fear is now laying in mud, weak and powerless, like a wounded cub! I thought you had the nerves to fight me and you just crumble on the ground because of a little electricity! You're pathetic, I wonder how could a woman like her marry someone like you!" he said pointing backwards at the general direction Padmè had taken refuge. "You're not even man enough to get up an try to defend your name! Such a waste, really." he paused for a long moment. "Well, I guess the rest of my men will have their fun with her, before they'll kill her."

That made me tick. Like a time bomb. I just exploded. Suddenly the pain, the reddish rain pouring down all over me like a cold, wet blanket, the discomfort... totally forgotten. There was nothing but me, him and my rage. My channeled, very focused rage.

And that wardrum returned. But this time, it wasn't a distraction. It was the measure of my anger. Strong, steady, rooted and terribly destructive. I knew what I could do when I was angry, most of all if someone, or something, threatened her. I couldn't let him do that.

I don't really remember much of what I did. I remember I grabbed my saber, got up and turned it on, all growling like a savage animal something totally incomprehensible even to me. With each step towards Dalan, I heard that drum getting faster and stronger at the same rate I could feel the Force rushing, not flowing, through me and around me. It was like a whirlwind, something I had never experienced. Never!

I felt... good!

It was like a huge weight had been lifted from my chest. Suddenly, I knew what to do.

I knew how to do it, and how to do it fast. Really fast!

When I caught up with him, he had suddenly changed his attitude. The smug look on his faces had been wiped away, replaced by a terrified expression that I would never forget. He raised his weapon, but it was pretty much impossible for him to keep up with the incredibly fast flurry of hacks and swings I unleashed on him like the rain that fell over us. In the span of what seemed like a few minutes he was out of breath, barely deflecting any blow, staggering backwards like a hunted animal, completely out of options. I was leading the fight now, not him. I was going where I wanted to go, I was leading to his final destination. All his resistance was futile. I felt like a jackhammer, totally unstoppable.

And I wasn't going to stop!

When, completely exhausted, he lowered his guard after another barrage of strikes, I saw the chance I was looking for and hit. Hard. My blade came down on his arm, cutting right through his bicep.

The so familiar smell of charred flesh and bones filled the air around us, soon brought down by the pouring rain. His scream of pain though kept echoing in the valley, piercing my ears as I finally came to myself and realized what I had just done and the fact that only thirty seconds had passed since I had got up from the ground.

Suddenly, I was scared of myself, but I was also incredibly satisfied with the outcome of that horrific situation.

I turned off my lightsaber and took a step back, as Dalan fell on his knees in front of me, holding his smoldering stub with his healthy hand.

"Who's pathetic now?" I growled. I grabbed the hem of his soaked suit and pulled him up. "Who's pathetic now?"

He didn't reply. He just groaned and sagged down again on the ground, panting.

I let him go and turned around, walking towards Padmè. All I wanted was hug her tightly and forget everything for a moment, and as if reading in my mind she started running towards me, but Obi-Wan found me first. I don't know why but Jax remained where he was, probably still stunned by the bad blow he had received not a minute earlier.

"What the hell was that?"

Padmè crashed in my arms before I could answer. I hugged her, not caring if I was covered in mud. "What'?" I asked.

"That! I mean... what have you done? It was like watching... I don't even know! The Force here was... it was all you! All I could feel was you! What happened?"

I looked down at my wife and sighed. She was shivering. I had to get her to a warmer place soon. But then I realized something. The Red Rain. The phenomenon Master Yoda had talked about some hours earlier. "_Something will happen under a red rain..._" I repeated his words, well, sort of, I just gave those words a correct grammar.

"What?" he snapped.

"Something Master Yoda said to me before we left. That something would happen under a red rain. And look at the Imperial ship. With the fire and everything... the rain looks red."

At that point, Padmè spoke. "I think you just showed your true potential." she said, tightening her hold on me.

Obi-Wan nodded. "Yes, I think so."

I was about to speak when I realized the ground was shaking. An earthquake. Another one, but not light and inconsequential like the others we had experienced in the last half an hour. This one was strong. This one was destructive!

I felt it, through the Force. And I realized something was about to break.

In fact, the earth beneath our feet broke. A long, deep crack was about to form...

Right beneath Jax's feet.

Without saying a word, I let Padmè go and ran towards him, but the ground had already started breaking. Stunned and scared, he staggered trying to remain on his feet but the gape was too wide. And it was right after him. He disappeared in the same moment I threw myself towards the crack.

I grabbed his arm a split second before he fell out of reach, and held to the edge of the ground with my other hand. My already strained body cried in pain for the exertion, but at least I had a hold on him.

I looked down and saw a huge, endless and dark canyon forming right before my eyes, as the earth shook. I think I've never seen anything so black before. Not even Darth Vader's mask.

"Let me go Anakin!" he shouted.

"I won't, even if you pay me!" I tightened my grip on his wrist even tighter. I didn't want to let him go.

"Anakin, don't be stupid! You've got a wife to take care of! Don't waste your life trying to save mine!"

Stupid, stubborn, paranoid man!

"Jax, come on, we can do it both. Just hold on!"

"Anakin, please, just go! I can't do it, I don't have nothing out there!"

And then those words just slipped out of me. "Do it for your daughter!"

* * *

_I just love cliffhangers! Damn, I've been planning this for months! Hope you liked it and see ya next time! Milan, I'm coming!_


	33. Are You So Afraid To Stay

**Chapter 33 – Are You So Afraid To Stay?**

_"Do it for your daughter!"_

I swear those words just came out on their own will. I had sworn to myself, weeks before, that I'd let Aleha tell him about his daughter, but he was being totally riddiculous about letting him go and whatever. I had to give him a reason to stop saying those nonsensical things. And if the perspective of seeing Aleha again wasn't enough, well, I had to try.

And I also swear that Jax became so pale that the stark contrast between his face and the blackness of the chasm above we were hanging was scary. I felt a long, chilly shiver running down my spine and I feared I could lose the grip on the edge of the gap, but fortunately I managed to held tightly.

"What the..." he snapped, as if awaken from a deep sleep.

"You heard me Jax!" I replied, trying to convince him as fast as I could. "Jax, please, trust me. Let me pull you up!"

We exchanged a long look while he decided if it was safe to trust me. "What are you talking about?"

The air stood still, even if the earth was still shaking and trembling with the aftershock of the earthquake but I couldn't really perceive it. It was just... I don't know, even after so much time. I just felt like I was in a bubble and everything I could feel was the Force and Jax below me.

In that moment I realized that even if I should have being in excruciating pain because of the effort of holding us both Jax's and my weight, which was considerable, but I actually didn't feel anything. Nor the pain nor the fatigue. Only the extreme power of the Force flowing, rolling and tumbling around me and in the whole place. It was overwhelming, I could barely understand it myself. But I needed to get it over as soon as I could. I knew I wouldn't last longer than a few more seconds, if Jax wouldn't let me pull him up.

"Jax, let me help you! Stop your suicidal plan and then we'll talk, I'll tell you everything, I swear!"

I felt the grip of his fingers tighten around my wrist, then he nodded. "Pull me up!"

I took a deep, strained breath and, with some help from the Force, I hauled him over the edge of the chasm and taking advantage of the recoil I reached out with my free hand and grabbed the cracked ground just above my head. With slightly more exertion than what I had thought, I managed to pull myself up and crawled to safety.

Exhausted, I laid there for a moment, trying to catch my breath. I looked up at clouded sky and took a deep breath while the cold rain washed away some of the mud from my face and clothes, even if my back was soaking with slime, but I didn't care much right in that moment. I turned around and stood up, even if I was shaking a little, then helped Jax doing the same. He was breathing heavily and he leaned forward, pressing his hands on his knees in order to remain up.

"Hey, you OK?" I asked him.

He nodded, still shaking a little. "Yeah... you?"

"Fine. Come on, let's get back to Dantooine. I think we've got a lot of thinks to talk about."

"But... did you just say that..."

I stopped him before he could finish the sentence. "Yes, but this is not the right place." as I spoke, a tiny buff of steam flew out of my mouth. The temperature was dropping, the combination of the rain and the wind had made the aria freezing cold, and I had to take Padmè somewhere warmer. And maybe shove her under the hot water spray of the shower. "It's getting cold in here and I don't really want anyone to get too cold." I pushed a button on the comlink I had in my pocket so Artoo would know it was time to come and get us.

"But... really..." through the Force I felt his distress. He felt terribly. Poor guy! After so many years of going up and down the Galaxy, hiding from everyone, trying to maintain a facade of strength and control, here comes one of his best friend, who he hadn't seen in years, and drops a bomb like that. Not exactly the best way to end the day. He was confused, like a child without the guidance of a parent.

I knew how he felt, I had been there.

"Yes, Jax, I would never joke about something like this! Just give us a moment, we'll take a shower, change clothes than we'll talk like human beings, alright?"

Right in that moment, the ship arrived from the horizon and sped towards us. "Well, won't take long now. Don't worry, everything has a valid explanation. Once you'll know the whole story, you'll understand what happened."

He ran his hands through his soggy hair and sighed. "Alright... it's just..."

"It's strange, and overwhelming, believe me, I know." The ship landed and the ramp slowly opened not fifty yards away from us. Meanwhile, Padmè and Obi-Wan had arrived, carrying Jax's backpack. "Now let's get inside, we'll tell you everything you want to know."

Completely defeated, he nodded and followed us on the ramp.

Then, out of the blue, Dalan shouted something, catching my attention. Not for long, fortunately.

I didn't even bother to turn around and face him.

"You're a coward!" he yelled above the noise of the pouring rain. "You're not even man enough to finish the job! What are you going to do? Leave me here to die of starvation? You're pathetic!"

I stopped in my tracks, halting the whole group.

I didn't say a word, but Padmè looked up at me, slightly worried by his words, probably because of what I had just done right in front of her eyes. I couldn't blame her if she was scared in that moment.

"Anakin are you..."

I stopped her before she could finish her sentence.

I grabbed my lightsaber and spun around facing him. At the same moment, I threw the hilt, sending it spinning around in the air. I turned it on at the last moment and the blue, humming blade stuck into his chest, literally impaling him.

Both Obi-Wan and Jax were impressed by that thrown. If throwing a lightsaber in circle and keeping it flying was hard, doing something like that was even harder, most of all at that distance.

Dalan dropped to his knees, holding his chest with his remaining hand, as the plasma bar literally burnt him from the inside. I walked towards him and when I reached his agonizing form I grabbed the hilt and pulled it away, leaving a gaping hole in the middle of his chest. He was doomed to die, there was no way he could have survived a wound like that. A gush of blood rose from his burnt lungs and came out of his mouth.

"I finished, are you happy now?"

He clung to his life with everything he had, every ounce of strength that still pervaded his body. He opened his bleeding mouth to speak but he couldn't breathe anymore. He wasn't too different from Vader, right in that moment.

"Who's pathetic now? I'm still standing, right? And you're dying. So, who's pathetic then? I gave you the chance to survive. To call your friends to pick you up, get a prosthetic arm like mine and go on with your life, go home to your family and you had to provoke me, knowing perfectly well that I am a quick tempered son of a Sith... who's pathetic now?"

He fell on his side, still looking up at me. The rain was washing away the blood from his face, staining the muddy ground beneath him. He died thirty seconds later, like a stray dog. The Jedi Hunter died by the hand of a Jedi he once admired.

How ironic.

Suddenly, I thought about his family. If only half of what he had told me was true, well, I thought about his family, his kids, his wife. And I had mercy of him. I closed his eyes, before standing up and heading back to my family. Everywhere I wanted to be.

"Let's go. It's over now. We've got things to do. Artoo!" I shouted as soon as the ramp was closed behind our back. "Set the route for Dantooine, push the engine as fast as you can!"

A minute more and we were already flying out of the orbit of the planet. We made a mad dash towards the crew cabin trying to find something to wrap around. I grabbed the thick blanket from my bunk and wrapped Padmè in it, trying methodically to warm her up a little. "You OK?" I asked her. She was soaked to the marrow and she was cold, her shivers betrayed her.

"Yes. Yes, I'm fine. I'll start the coffee, you three get a shower. You need to talk."

With the corner of my eye I saw Obi-Wan boosting the heating system and inwardly thanked him for that.

"Are you sure?"

She nodded and kissed me. "I'll be perfectly fine. Just don't keep him hanging on more. He doesn't deserve that."

"I know." I turned around and faced him. He was leaning on the wall closest to the heater, shivering. "Jax, go and get a shower and a clean set of clothes. We need to talk and..." I shivered myself, so hard that I had to stop talking for a moment. "...and we can't talk in these conditions. Be quick or there won't be enough warm water for everyone!"

Still shaking, he nodded, then grabbed his backpack and headed to the bathroom. While he took his long deserved shower, we prepared enough hot drinks to warm up a hundred people. The soggy clothes stuck to my skin and made me uncomfortable. I was looking forward to take them off, threw them in a plastic bag and wear some warmer things.

And, of course, talk with Jax, explain him everything.

As soon as the coffee was prepared, I poured a cup for Obi-Wan and one for me. I was about to pour a third cup for Padmè then I remembered what he had told me about her reaction to the hot beverage. I placed the cup back on the shelf and the pitcher in its place, then proceeded preparing some tea for her. I was sure she would appreciate that.

Only in that moment, when I found a second to sit down at the table and literally down two whole cups of coffee I realized that I was exhausted and a little sleepy.

Soon after Jax came out of the restroom, Obi-Wan went in, then it was my turn. I washed the grime away as fast as I could, toweled dry and got dressed. The quickest shower of my life, everything in order to let Padmè take her time with her own shower, with as much hot water as she could get.

"Alright... I leave you to your business. Don't argue, alright?" She said, a moment before she leaned down and kissed me. "Now talk, he needs it."

"We'll do our best. Take your time, we'll take care of everything. Get into something warm OK?"

"Sure. Do you mind preparing some more tea please?"

"No problem." I got up and put some more water in the kettle to boil. "It will be ready when you get out."

Then she closed the door behind her and we all heard the water running.

"I think it's time for some talking." started Obi-Wan. "And some explanations."

"Definitely..." I continued.

"Great..." groaned Jax, wrapping his fingers around his cup of coffee like it contained his own life. "So... so I have a daughter..."

"Yep. Hilean. Six years old... and Aleha is doing a damn good job raising her."

"Crap..." He planted his elbow on the table and placed his chin on his hand. "Alone?"

I shook my head. "No. We're all there for her. And the other kids."

He took a long sip from his cup. "Other kids?"

"The other Force Sensitive kids we have at the base." continued Obi-Wain, "Twenty two. We all teach there. Me, Darrick, Anakin, Ahsoka... we work together raising them. They're all orphans, their parents died because of the Empire or something else... so we do our best at being both parents and teachers."

He nodded. "I guess... it's just..."

"Strange? Overwhelming?" I asked. "Don't worry, I know how it feels."

"Oh, well, you know how it feels to be told you've got a daughter you didn't even know you had conceived?"

"I know how it feels to be told you have two kids, when you knew about only one!"

"What?" he snapped, completey caught off guard.

"Yeah... Padmè and I... well, she was pregnant when the whole mess with the Empire begun but I was sent to prison before she gave birth and before she got to know she was expecting twins. That's it. I knew I had a kid, when I was in jail, but once I got out I was told that I actually had two and believe me, it's really, really stunning..."

"Damn..."

"If you think it might help you, I can tell you she's one of the best kids I've ever met." said Obi-Wan. "She's... well, she's perfect. I told you, Aleha did a great job raising her."

"I don't even know how it happened..." he mumbled.

"You want the long story or the really short one?" asked Padmè from the doorstep, toweling her long hair to dry it up. "Because I can tell you both."

He took a shaky breath and let out a long sigh. "Let's go for the really short one."

"You had unprotected sex with her."

The bluntness of her of her statement shocked him so much that he lost the hold he had on his chin and his arm slipped, making him jolt on the chair. "What the..."

"That's how it works! And believe me, they know!" said Obi-Wan gesturing towards us. "Seems like they've got another one on the way!"

Padmè shook her head, smiling. "I'm not sure yet. It could be nothing."

"Yeah, nothing... anyway..." I tried to take the conversation back on track. "Padmè's right. That's how it happens."

Jax crossed his arms on the table and laid his head on them, thoughtful. His eyes were fixed on the cup in front of him, and they were hazed, as if he was about to cry. "It only happened twice."

"That's more than enough."

"I thought... why didn't she tell me?"

"Because she didn't know." said Padmè. "She realized she was pregnant only a couple of weeks after you two got to separate ways. She asked me to help her, because I was the only woman who had kids she knew, and I did help her through the pregnancy, step by step. The twins were almost three years old, they were easy to handle at that point and I couldn't refuse."

"I didn't know that!" I interjected as she made a pause.

"I forgot to tell you, it wasn't so important, or at least I thought so. Anyway, I was with her, when Hilean was born. I held her first, right after Aleha, as soon as she was born."

"Was it hard for her?"

"As hard as it is for every woman that gives birth naturally without anesthesia. Yes, it was hard, even if Hilean was a tiny baby."

"Well, she was bigger than the twins!" replied Obi-Wan.

"That's normal. Twins are always a lot smaller than the average, but really, Hilean was tiny. She weighted less than three pounds, Janu feared he would have had to place her in an incubator for a couple of weeks, but she was fine. Tiny, but healthy, so no need for the incubator." she told us. "Also, Aleha is a natural born mom. That's probably why all the kids adore her. She's calm but she's strong and knows when and how punish or praise them. She's doing a remarkable job, to say the least."

"But... how is she doing?"

Padmè and I exchanged a long, meaningful look. My turn to speak. "She's sad. She tries to hide it everyday, but last year she just crashed and confessed that she feels lonely all the time. She loves you Jax, deeply, and not knowing where you were was killing her. Also, when Hilean started asking questions about her father, all she could tell her was that you were dead, because she didn't know whether you were alive or not. That's why we went looking for you."

"How... she told her that I was dead?"

I nodded. "Yep. It was easier for her, and at least she was sure that Hilean would understand."

"That means she doesn't even know who I am..."

"That's not what I said. She knows who you are. She knows we were friends when were young and everything she's old enough to understand. But Aleha wasn't in their condition." I gestured at Padmè and Obi-Wan. "When I was in jail at least they knew I was alive. They felt it, and Luke and Leia had some visions, even if I would prefer they didn't, for their mental health. But she couldn't feel you, she tried for years."

"I can confirm that. When she was pregnant she tried in every way to get a hint of your whereabouts, but nothing." she added.

"I had to hide, I needed to hide even through the Force." he mumbled.

"After months of trying, she gave up. Her pregnancy wasn't easy, she had some health issues, most of all by the end of the term. Darrick tried to find you for six years now, but even he couldn't find a solid lead to come and get you."

"Shit!" snapped Jax. "I can't believe it. Everything for the foolishness of a night! That's not possible!"

"It is. But it's no big deal, just wait a moment, we'll arrive at the base and you two will talk. And explain some things. Just... wait!"

He stood up, grabbed his cup and refilled it with the rest of the coffee, then started pacing up and down the crew compartment. He was incredibly nervous, even more actually. He was terrified. I could feel it.

I had to stiff back a deep yawn. I was terribly tired and I really couldn't wait to crash in my bunk for a couple of hours. We had five hours of trip before we reached Dantooine and I really hoped that, at a certain point, Jax would stop asking questions and do the same. I needed to sleep for a while, the efforts and the pain of not thirty minutes earlier were still coursing through me. And I was still a little confused. I had never been so angry, not even that night at the Tusken Camp, but I had never been able to focus my rage that way. But most of all I was completely stunned by the fact that I hadn't felt the influence of the Dark Side. Not even when I killed Dalan.

I had to talk with Obi-Wan soon. But that wasn't the right moment.

"I can't stay."

"What?" I asked him.

"I can't stay at the base. Vader is still looking for me and even if his hound is dead now that won't stop him."

"We can protect you! We can give you another identity and you'll be safe! Just trust us! Why are you so afraid to stay?"

He shook his head. "That's not the matter, I'm not afraid to stay! I won't risk the safety of the Rebellion just to save my ass. I managed to work alone for years, I can go on like this. I'll just... I'll just find another way."

"No Jax please, don't even say it! We didn't go through hell on earth to find you to let you go like this. I won't let you!" I stood up myself and faced him. I had to convince him someways. "I didn't face death end even worse things just to let you go like nothing happened."

"Anakin I... Why did you come looking for me in first place?"

"Because roughly two months ago I had a dream, a vision, of you and Vader fighting for that pyronium crystal I gave you years ago. Then about the Inquisitors discussing the better way to find you. And having Aleha and Hilean right under my eyes everyday, knowing how much they are suffering while I have everything I've ever wanted, well that pissed me off quite a lot. And I thought you deserved to know about your daughter."

"I..." he paused. "No Anakin I can't stay! I... I'll talk, I'll meet them, stay there for some days, get to know my daughter but I can't stay! It's for their own sake!"

"Listen... Two years ago I thought I would have done the same. Find them, meet my kids, spend some days with them so I could tell myself that I knew them then fly off again, leave them with Obi-Wan to safety and hide like you're doing. I thought it was the best way to keep them safe from the Empire. My mother-in-law made me change my mind but I swear, even if that idea continued to pop up in my mind every now and then, as soon as I had them close to me I can tell you I didn't want to leave them anymore. I couldn't leave them!"

He downed his cup in one single gulp and set the now empty cup in the dishwasher. With his back towards us he leaned against its metal frame, and let his head fall down. That way I noticed a sign on the back of his neck, like a scar from a burn. And it was recent, I could tell that. It looked like the thin scar I had beside my eye, only a little lighter. It was a lightsaber burn. One day I'd ask him what had happened.

"I... Anakin, please, try to understand..."

"No, you try to understand! I know how it feels to grow up without a father and believe it's not nice! At all. And when I realized that the path I was walking could possibly leave my kids fatherless, well, it wasn't the best thing in the Galaxy. So, please, stop acting like a total jerk, because that's my job, and stop running up and down the Galaxy as if you had the whole Brotherhood of Darkness right behind your ass because that's not the case!" I made a short pause in order to catch my breath. "Stay. Give it a chance. You won't regret it."

I heard him sigh, before he lifted his head and turned towards us. "You're not going to let me go, are you?"

"If I'll have to tie you up to prevent you from going away, I'll do it. But I think Aleha and Hilean will be more than enough. You know, women have ways to keep men close, I tell you!"

Completely unnoticed, Padmè stood and slapped me in the back of my neck. Hard. And I didn't even notice that she had moved. "Jerk!" she said, smiling, before she sat again, shaking her head.

"I told you they have ways... This is one of them."

"I..." he stopped mid-sentence and pushed his hands in his pockets. "I'll give it a try. And we'll see."

I nodded. "That's more what I wanted to hear. Just... don't haste things. Take your time, you won't get to know them in a couple of days. Just... wait. Can you do that?"

"Yes. I guess I can. But... just let me ask you this: what the hell happened to your face?"

"Nothing bad, I just had a nice meeting with Dalan's men, a couple of days ago."

"You should have seen him before Padmè managed to get some bandages and bacta gel on him. He looked like he had been hit by a speeder!" said Obi-Wan.

Jax returned to the table and sat down again. A moment later I joined them. "No need to twist the knife in the wound OK? That wan't the best day of my life but hey, I think it ended pretty well in the end!"

"It actually ended as we all wanted to, but beware the fury of a heartbroken woman!" stated Padmè.

"What do you mean?" asked Jax.

"I mean that Aleha doesn't know we went looking for you. We decided not to tell her because we weren't sure if we would find you or not and we didn't want to give her false hopes. I can tell you, she's not going to be happy."

"I... I guess I can understand." he replied pulling his hair back from his face. "I mean I... Oh well, she can do and say whatever she wants, and she'd be right. I'm an idiot and if only I had waited some days before leaving maybe things would have been different!"

"You can count on that, if there's something I learned from life is that one single decision changes everything!" I said.

"What can I say? Sometimes I think too much and this is what come out!" he joked, before he rubbed his face forcefully, as if he was struggling to stay awake. "And I'm exhausted!"

"Me too..." revelaed Obi-Wan. "And I guess we are all tired, in one way or another. We still have some long hours before we arrive to Dantooine so I guess we can get some sleep. What do you think?"

"I think it's an excellent idea." added Padmè. "And I'll promptly take your advice."

"And I'll soon follow. Jax, there's a bunk ready for you, just above Padmè's. You OK with that?"

He nodded. "Sure. I just need a flat surface to lay on. I got used at falling asleep in the worst places, I guess a clean bunk on a clean space ship can't be that bad!"

And off we went to sleep, not for long, a couple of hours tops, at least for me. Padmè slept a little more, but the three of us gathered in the cockpit discussing the events of the previous hours in front of the umptenth cup of coffee.

"I just can't believe what I saw." barked Jax. "One moment you were laying in the mud, stunned and powerless, and a moment later bang! You cut his arm as if he was the worst swordsman in the Galaxy!"

"I don't really know, I just felt like I knew what I had to do and, as you said, bang, I cut his arm. That's it."

Obi-Wan stretched his neck and smiled. "Qui Gon was right. That's what you really can do, and you just needed a cause, a motive to unleash all your power. He must have said something, or you wouldn't act that way!"

"You don't really want to know..." I mumbled, hoping they wouldn't catch the bitter note in my voice.

"Why? What did he say to make you go berserk?" asked Jax.

"Wel... let's say that all his words about taking only us and not harming her he was lying. He said he would let his men have fun with her before they killed her."

A thick, shocked silence fell in the cockpit. "I told you didn't want to know..." I mumbled stirring my cup a little more. "It just made me tick. I couldn't take it anymore. You can hurt me, beat me, threaten me... I can endure that. But I go completely nuts when someone tries to harm her. I just... I don't really know happened to me!"

"I'm sorry Anakin I didn't know..."

"Don't worry Master, it's over now. I vent out the anger and now I'm fine. I just wanted to ask you something, if you don't mind."

"Sure, no problem."

"I... I acted out of pure wrath, when I defeated Dalan. But I didn't feel the influence of the Dark Side, like the other times I acted the same way. Why?"

"I can't answer that question. Only you can." he stated, bluntly. "And by the way things have turned, I think you'll find the reason all by yourself."

Oh great, more responsibilities. As if I hadn't enough of them. Now that we had found Jax and we were heading home, I was totally concentrated on Padmè and the chance that she could be pregnant. Part of me was overjoying, for real. But the other was terrified. And when I say terrified, I mean it, with all the sympthoms like wobbly legs, shaky hands, a gut-wrenching feeling that made it hard to breathe properly and the complete impossibility to think clear.

I took a deep breath and tried to concentrate. I had come up with a theory but I wasn't sure about it.

"What if it's about frustration?" I asked then, out of nothing.

"What?"

"My issues. What if it's not anger the problem, what if it's frustration?"

"Excuse me but I don't understand..."

"Wait a sec, I think I get it!" snapped Jax. "It's a matter of semantics, so to speak. Rage, anger, wrath... they are all, let's say quick feelings. You get angry, you burst, explode or vent it out on something, and it's done. Am I right?"

Both Obi-Wan and I nodded. "Yes, definitely."

"But frustration is something that grows. You get angry, suppress it, more than once, and you get frustrated, until you can't take it anymore because frustration burns you from the inside, a piece at a time, until you're all corroded and, let's say, rotten. A frustrated person is way harder to deal with than an angry one. And you, Anakin, have been frustrated for most part of your life!"

"Exactly! That's the difference! You got the point. I've been angry, yeah, but for most of the time I was extremely frustrated. And I have the feeling that the difference between pure anger and frustration marks the point when you feel or you do not feel the influence of the Dark Side. It feeds on bad emotions, but once you vent out the anger, you're fine, it's all over, but frustration gives it a lot more food, if you pass me the comparison."

Obi-Wan leaned back in his chair and twitched his beard as he did every time he was thinking. "Possible. Actually, it makes a lot of sense. But I thought that in the past few days you had endured enough bad things to get you frustrated again."

I shrugged my shoulders. "Not much actually. Seven years in that cell thought me to compartmentalize feelings. And all the meditating I've done this morning helped a lot getting rid of everything. Also I've come to the realization that everything Dalan told me is total bullshit. I mean, he might be right, but I won't let my past, a past that I can't change define who I am now. I'm almost thirty two years old. Who fucking cares how I was born! I just want to be a good father and husband. The rest can really go to hell!"

After I finished, Obi-Wan literally pawned my left shoulder, hard, and squeezed it. I knew he only wanted to show his appreciation for what I had just said but that made me yelp and jolt on my chair. "Master, it still hurts!"

He retracted his hand. "Sorry Anakin, I didn't mean it!"

"No problem. Just... It got dislocated not three days ago and I didn't really followed the doctor's instruction about it!"

"No way!" laughed Jax. "With what you've done earlier, I think you'll need to take it easy on it for quite some time!"

"Jax, please, last year, he broke his leg in three places and even if his personal trauma surgeon told him to take it really easy he managed to bang that leg so hard somewhere that the implant rebuilding his bones turned off!"

"And what the hell did you do?" he asked me.

"Rough, steamy sex with my wife! A lot of sex!" I replied, hiding a huge smile behind my coffee cup.

He shook his head. "I should have guessed it!"

"Hey, try to understand him!" added Obi-Wan. "Eight years separated, I think you'd do the same if you were in his situation."

"He's still in time!" I paused for a moment. "Damn... I was so frustrated... and not because of the anger. I kept thinking _don't shoot too soon don't shoot too soon_ for I don't know how long!"

The both bursted up laughing, literally cracking up like mad. Jax was the first to stop. "By the Force Anakin! You sound like you spent those eight years jacking off or something!"

"Pretty much..."

He shook his head. "Well, at least I'm not alone!"

"I can't really believe it..." mumbled Obi-Wan. "I'm surrounded by jerks..."

About an hour later, we were home. Artoo took care of the landing procedures while Obi-Wan called Darrick to announce our arrival.

"Hey, you're home early! You've been gone only for... not even two weeks!" he said over the comlink.

"I know. But guess what? We've found him!"

I was packing my things while that conversation took place so I couldn't hear much, except the shrill scream that came through the speakerphone. "You've found him? How?" he asked, still screaming.

"We've followed his trail, just that. But we'll tell you later, just be sure to get your sister somewhere. We're bringing him wherever you tell us."

"How long before you land in the hangar?"

Artoo whistled his ETA. "About ten minutes."

"Alright, she'd be still in the training ground with the kids. Just bring him here, I'll make sure she's still there! See ya guys!"

After that, he closed the communication and Obi-Wan went back to the packing. I was already done and I threw my backpack towards the entrance ramp, before looking for Padmè. She was all more calm while she did her packing and her bag didn't look botched and bumpy like mine. "Hey, you ready to go home?" I asked.

She nodded. "Definitely yes! I can't wait to hug my kids, have a normal mean and sleep in my bed!"

"How about getting your blood tested?"

"First thing tomorrow morning. It's too late to bother Janu right now for a blood work. I can do it tomorrow."

"But... first thing tomorrow, alright?"

She nodded as she closed her bag. "First thing tomorrow! I swear. Now, please, wipe that worried look off your face and light up. Don't mess up with the kids, alright?"

"Yeah, I think I can do that. I think I'll be a little worried about making sure Jax gets down to the training ground. Darrick will be waiting for us there, with Aleha and the other kids."

"Safe and familiar environment for everyone. Good choice for the dropping of the bomb!"

"I just hope they'll deal with their feelings in a civilized way. I have the feeling Aleha will be in a murderous mood as soon as she sees him."

She shook her head. "You're underestimating her. Believe me, I've been in her place and the last thing she'll think about. Trust me, everything will be fine!"

"She doesn't even know he's alive! It's not like with you and the kids. You knew I was alive and that I would come to find you!"

She grabbed the hem of my jacket and pulled me down to kiss me. "Listen, I have a feeling. It's not the Force or anything, it's just a feeling, that everything will be alright. I've spent more than a year with her, helping her through her pregnancy and the first few months with Hilean. I got to know her, really well, and she won't react the way you fear."

"How do you think she will react?"

"She'll cry... a lot... then well, she'll ask questions. A lot of questions and... I wouldn't really be in the room next to theirs tonight. But most of all she'll try to protect her daughter."

"Why should she be protected?"

"Because she's six years old and for half of her life she's thought that her father was dead. That's why she must be protected. She might not react as well as her mother."

Well, she knew about children of that age way more than me. She was right. Hilean had always been convinced that Jax was dead, meeting him would turn her fragile world upside down and for a little girl like her could not take it well. "Alright, but I want to be present. I want to be there, in case things get nasty. Hileans sees me as a sort of rock, maybe if I stay there and I watch from a distance..."

"Good idea. Maybe we should both stay there. The twins too..."

I nodded. "Yes, I guess it can be done. Just to make her feel safe, you know..."

"That's the idea." in that moment, the ship shook a little as Artoo halted it midair, slowly lowering it down to the landing platform. "Come on, it's time to go home."

From his place, Artoo opened the ramp. Jax and Obi-Wan were already standing in front of it, and Jax was shaking with fear. "You ready?" I asked them.

"I am." replied Obi-Wan. "But your friend here, seems like he needs a little push."

"Please... tell me: do I look like a fool?" asked Jax.

"Nope, you look like a scared man. Don't worry about it. Just...go with the flow. Hilean will do all the job."

"Really? Oh, that's really reassuring! Did that work for you?" he asked as the ramp opened completely, showing the small hangar and Luke And Leia, waiting for us, with Ahsoka right behind them.

"You're about to see that." I told him as they ran on the ramp towards us and crashed against our legs, laughing happily. I knelt down and picked Leia and Luke up in my arms. Luke then sneaked in Padmè's arms. "Hey Squids! How are you?"

"Perfect, now that you're home!"

I caught Jax looking at us, in total awe and disbelief. But then I also noticed a slight swelling in Leia's right eye. It was also reddened and hazed. That wasn't good. "Leia, what's up with your eye?"

"The doctor said it's conjunctivitis..." she giggled softly, hiding that side of her face in my shoulder. "It's not bad, it doesn't hurt."

I looked down at Padmè and she just shrugged her shoulders. "It's not the first time. She gets conjunctivitis as often as Luke gets an ear infection. Some days of eyedrops and she'll be fine."

"Alright, but I want to talk to Janu as soon as I can about that. I don't like that."

"Anakin, don't worry. Do you remember how many times you got it when you were a kid?" asked Obi-Wan.

And as usual he was right. I was quite prone to that kind of problem when I was a kid. One of the many side effects of living in the desert, sand got everywhere and irritated everything. Most of all the eyes. It was only when I grew older that I stopped having to be so careful about conjunctivitis. "Alright. But I want to take a look at that eye as soon as we get home. You OK with that?"

She nodded and hugged me tightly. "Yep!" then she turned and looked at Jax. "Hi!"

"Hi!" he replied, carefully. "You must be Leia!"

She nodded in my shoulder. "That'ts me! How are you?"

"A bit tired, but I'm fine. How's your eye?"

"It itched a little this morning, then Master Kohr gave me some eyedrops and it stopped!" a short pause. "You're Hilean's dad, aren't you?"

Jax looked at me, terrified. I gestured him to go on, not to worry. Go with the flow.

"Y... Yes, it's me. You know her?"

"She's my friend. She's downstairs, with Master Kohr. Bogh Aleha and Darrick. Why don't you go down there?"

I heard him swallow hard and at that point I had to intervene. "That's were we are going. Come on Squids, you can walk down." I put her down then took Luke from Padmè and put him on his feet too. "Let's go downstairs!"

* * *

_Alright, this one is done too. Hope you liked it, I tried to make it as fun as I could, after so much dark and twisty stuff, I felt the story needed it. OK, now... of to bed, tomorrow's a big day. Nightwish concert! Yay! And this time they're going to play Over The Hills And Far Away. I'll need a buckett for me creys, I'm sure of it! See ya guys!_


	34. With The Trust Of A Child

_A tiny tiny tiny author note before I begin. I've been freaking out the whole week waiting for Castle season finale and I'm literally squeeing. It's four AM here guys and I'm fucking fangirling all over the couch, suppressing fluffy squeals from my most romantic side. Fuck, all my OTPs fucked me up in the past but this one is... fucking perfect! I... I don't know what to say. We had no idea! For real! Beckett was right, right from the pilot, we had no freaking idea! It was like the best fanfiction coming to reality! Alright, done with the freaking out, let's go on with our story, that's way way better._

_Oh, anyway, just a tiny thing for all the italian friends out there: ciupano sul serio cazzo! Yay! Fangirl felice!_

* * *

**Chapter 34 - With The Trust Of A Child**

The first part of the ride was silent and extremely tensed. Jax's nervousness was palpable, to say the least, even for non-Force Sensitive people, like Padmè. Her empathy though made it easier for her to understand how people felt so she had a great advantage.

A few seconds after the sliding doors had closed, Luke broke the silence. "Dad, what happened to your face?" he asked, looking at me.

"Nothing, don't worry. I just met someone who didn't like me and we fought, that's all. Nothing to worry about."

By the look on his face, he didn't seem convinced. He clearly wasn't happy with my answer and well, I could understand his point of view. I had always felt that the kind of anwer I had just given him were just a way to hide things for me, and well, I was really hiding something from him. I just didn't want him to be scared.

"Where is he now?"

I shrugged my shoulders, even if it hurt a little. "Don't know. But he's not feeling fine, I can assure that! I taught him a good lesson!" I wasn't really telling him a lie, I was just omitting that I had beheaded him, that he had met Anakin Skywalker and wasn't alive anymore to tell about it. The substance didn't change much in the end.

Apparently that answer satisfied him enough that he fell silent. He just nodded and tightened his hold on Padmè's hand. Nothing else. He was good with that.

"Will it take long for that to heal?" asked Leia.

I ran my free hand on my face, on the bruised side. It didn't hurt much, just 24 hours earlier it felt as if it was on fire, but in that moment it was pretty much fine. A little sore maybe, but fine. Also the bruise had reduced a lot. Yeah, it wouldn't take long. "Not at all. Your mom literally bathed me in bacta gel for a couple of days so no, it won't take long. Give me three or four days and I'll be good as new, if mom keeps doing her magic trick with bacta. By the end of the week I'll be fine, just like you with your conjunctivitis."

She nodded and hugged me tighter. "Will you give me the eyedrops?"

"Sure! You want to give me the bacta gel?"

"If mom's OK with that..."

At that, Padmè ran her hand through her hair and smiled. "Of course I'm OK with that! You don't even have to ask!"

"Ok..." she mumbled, before she rested her head on my leg and sighed.

"Hey, Squid, are you tired?" I asked her, moving her long hair away from her face so I could see her better.

"No, I'm just happy you're home. I missed you."

"We missed you too Squid. So much..."

I looked at Jax and I noticed the strange look on his face, a mix of wonder and upheaval. He was clenching his fists at his sides till his knuckles turned white. He was really, really agitated.

"You alright?" I asked him. He looked mesmerized.

"How do you do that?"

That question made me smile. How did I do that? Easy. "They taught me how to. I just went with the flow and well, this is the result. It's not hard. All you need to do is follow them, and they'll teach you everything you need!"

"Will that work for me?"

Holding back a groan, I stretched my left arm and winced at the pain. It was getting a little nasty. "It works for everyone. I told you, don't worry. Just go with the flow and everything will be fine!"

"What if the flow drags me down and I can't keep up?"

The sliding doors opened and the training grounds were now in front of us. As soon as the light from the floor entered the lift, Jax seemed to retreat a little, as if scared. He was truly terrorized, poor guy. Anyway, as Darrick had said, Aleha was there, training the kids. They were practicing some basic lightsaber fighting against one another and the large hall was filled with the low hums of sparring blades. Each clash echoed on the walls, creating a sort of massive wall of sounds that wasn't all the pleasurable and with all that noise, Aleha didn't notice we were there.

"Then go down with it and see how deep it goes." I replied.

"That's reassuring..."

"Don't worry Jax. We're all here to back you up. Any way this goes. Don't worry about it." added Obi-Wan patting him on his back. "Now, let's do this. No reason to wait more. Standing in here is no use!"

We stepped out of the elevator and stopped there. At that point, Darrick, who was standing in the back of the training group of kids, closer to the elevator than his sister, noticed our presence, turned around and jogged towards us. He didn't say a word, he just hugged Jax and patted his back. "I can't believe it, it's so good to see you!"

"Same here Darrick. How are you?"

"Working hard, as usual. Those kids can be quite a handful if they want." he said. "And I'm counting your daughter in the group!"

"Why?"

"Don't know really, she was very agitated since this morning, when she woke up. And now she's nervous. Seems like she felt that something was about to happen today."

Jax ran his hand on his face and through his hair, pulling it a little. "Let's just hope she won't hate me!"

"Who? Hilean? No way! She's too sweet to hate anyone! I don't think she does even know the meaning of that word! Come on, time to get to know your family!"

With a little encouraging push, we forced him to walk towards the spot where Aleha was standing, not too far away from us actually, surveying the kids' training. Still she hadn't noticed us. It was better that way, the surprise factor was still on our side.

"So... how do we proceed?" asked Jax.

"This is not a mission. We don't procede." intervened Obi-Wan. "Anakin is right, just go and see what happens! You can't plan anything, you can't predict how she'll react!"

"That's what I fear most." he groaned.

Then one of the elder kids saw us and turned his lightsaber off. "Master Kohr, look! Master Kenobi and Master Rosh are back!"

Jax looked at me. "Rosh?"

"Long story. No time. Tell you later."

When Aleha turned around and first saw us, she smiled, everything looked pretty much normal, but then she spotted a foreign entity in our group. She focused her attention on him and when she recognized him, for a moment, I thought she was going to be really, really angry. Her smile wiped away from her face as she froze in place and her shoulders sagged down as if a ton of durasteel had been placed on her back. Through the Force it felt like someone had just turned off the light. Suddenly her presence had darkened and from the usually calm and resulte Aleha she had turned in a much more unsteady and unsettled version of herself. That wasn't good.

Not that Jax felt different. Not only he was emotionally in turmoil, but he was physically shaking! He swallowed hard and tried to steady himself but he wasn't ready for what happened next.

Well, no one was actually. I myself had barely the time to take a step back before Aleha ran at full speed towards Jax and literrally jumped over him.

Jax braced himself but the strength of the impact forced him to take two steps back even if he managed to remain on his feet. He didn't even have the time to say a word, to greet her or anything more than a breath, Aleha just framed his face and kissed him. Hard.

"Well, I everything went better than expected!" whispered Padmè at my side.

"It's better this way. For everyone!"

Well, not for everyone. I looked down and I saw Luke and Leia covering their eyes with their hands at that scene. Pook kids!

After what felt like an eternity, Aleha jumped off Jax and pulled back enough to look up at him. "Please, tell me this isn't one of my dreams!" she whispered. "That you're here for real..."

He ran his hand through her long hair and smiled, for the first time since we had found him. "I'm here Aleha, for real. It's not a dream!"

We all took a couple of steps back to leave them some room and some privacy, even if it was pretty much impossible in that moment. But Padmè had a great idea. "Anakin, what do you think? Should we take the kids upstairs?"

I looked over the little crowd of children on the training mat, and realized she was right. And it was almost time for dinner, at least for them. Time to move them. "That would be an excellent idea. Do you mind if I stay here with them?"

"No, no, we already discussed it. You stay here. We're more than enough to take care of them. Obi-Wan alone is more than capable to keep them calm!"

I nodded. "I know." then I knelt down in front of the twins. "Hey, Squids, you haven't told anything to Hilean, have you?" I asked them.

They shook their head. "Nope. We kept the secret, as you told us!"

"Great, you're the best. Now, why don't you go up there and take her here? Time for her to know her dad, don't you think?"

They nodded and ran off towards the group, looking for their friend.

"You really care about that girl, don't you?" asked Padmè while she, Obi-Wan and Darrick started gathering the kids.

"She helped me when I was down and I couldn't see the end of it, last year. I'll never thank her enough." I told her. "But most of all I want to make it as easy as it can be for her. This a very nasty change in her life and I know how hard a change like this can be for a child. Just that."

"You know, sometimes I forget something like this happened to you. And it's crazy, but I just realized you were Luke's age when you saved us on Tatooine!"

I chuckled as I pushed one of the younger kids towards the lift. "What's crazy is that it happened nearly twenty three years ago!"

"Already twenty three? So long?"

"Apparently... we're getting old!"

Then I saw Luke and Leia literally dragging Hilean towards us. She was clearly very confused and scared. She didn't understand what was going on and the whole situation was a huge mess for her. I could almost hear her thinking, so loud it was, so to speak.

"Master Skywalker..." she was one of the few allowed to call me that way when we were not close to others. "What's going on?" she asked, her voice reduced to a whimper.

"Go to your mother. She has something to tell you."

Unsure on what to do next, she kept moving her eyes from us to her mother and her still unknown father, until Luke pushed her towards them, not so gently, but it was enough so the six year old girl grabbed courage with both her tiny hands and walked over towards her parents. She fisted her mother's pants and tugged, drawing her attention. "Mom?"

It felt strange hearing her calling Aleha mom. I was so used at the Master thing that it really amazed me how easily that girl could switch from Padawan to daughter in no time. Luke and Leia usually needed some more time.

As soon as Aleha looked down, her face lit up even more with a huge smile. She knelt and scooped her up, hoisting her weight on her little girl hugged her mother tightly and half hid her face in her neck, but kept a close eye on Jax.

"Hilean, I think I owe you an apology..." started Aleha.

"Why?" she asked, looking up at her.

"Because three years ago I told you something that wasn't true."

"About what?"

"About your father. I... I told you he had died, right?" Hilean nodded. "I was wrong."

Jax tensed, he became as rigid as a branch of dry wood. That was the moment of truth, and thank the Force that all the other kids were already upstairs and it was only us in that huge room. The echo of the Force in there was a total mess, and it was a little uncomfortable in there. That drumming noise had returned, and it was getting stronger by the moment. I grabbed Padmè's hand and held it tightly.

Hilean slowly turned towards him and stared straight into his eyes. For a long moment, no one said a word, everyone stood still and we waited for things to happen. We went with the flow.

"You mean... " she said before stopping and throwing another intense look at him. "Are you my dad?"

I held my breath as his shoulders sagged down and he sighed "Yes, I am..."

She was about to say something but again she stopped, her lips sealed shut as she suddenly launched towards him and her little arms circled his neck, trusting him like only a child can. Completely caught off guard, Jax faltered when the little girl landed in his arms, but he regained his balance quick enough to hold her tightly against his chest. And suddenly, all the built up tension of the past few hours exploded, and was crying like a boy as he held his daughter in his arms for the first time.

And I bet that, for the first time, there were happy tears.

"Wow..." I muttered. "Better than any expectation!"

Padmè smiled and leaned closer to me, resting her head on my shoulder. "You prepared him quite well, that helped a lot!"

"I just know what he's going through. It wasn't hard."

"Do you think we should leave them alone?"

I shook my head. "Not yet. At least, I'll stay. I want to give him all the support he needs, a sort of anchor. They're all in a great emotional distress at the moment and I'd prefer to stay here in the room for a while."

"Like an impartial observer?"

I nodded. "With some experience in the field. It's just that... when I saw the twins for the first time last year I felt that Obi-Wan's presence was helping me keeping calm and... well, I know all of them and I have the feeling that I'd be helpful, in a way or another."

"I understand what you mean. Listen, if you don't mind, I'd take the twins upstairs so they can get ready for dinner. I have the feeling they could use a shower!" she said smiling down at them.

"Sure, no problem. Don't worry and call me if they start fussing around!"

"Oh don't worry about that! I held my ground for eight years, I can take care of them myself!"

With that, she left, a kid on each side, heading towards the elevator. And then it was only the four of us, even though I kept overlooking things from a distance, leaving them enough space to do what they wanted. And without the crowd around them, things were a lot smoother. I could feel it in the Force.

As soon as the elevator doors closed Aleha decided to move. With Hilean still clinging on Jax's neck, she guided him towards the corner of the large training area she had converted into a sort of study with the years, where she kept all the records on the kids and their progresses. It was also the area she used when Obi-Wan and her actually schooled those kids with the basic things they would need in their life, like reading, writing and some other things like geography, maths... like a real school. Beside and all around the simple metallic desk she had placed some of those soft plastic mats used in playgrounds or in children's bedrooms as a play area. In the beginning it was for Hilean, so she could have her close while she trained the kids, before she grew enough to join them, but then she realized that all those kids needed to play too. Something that was forbidden for us, but that she deemed not only necessary but also useful for their development as Jedi Knights and most of all as human beings. Therefor, she expanded the playroom area, got some toys for various ages and made this huge playground for Padawans. Every day they had their time to play, and everyone could find an activity suitable for their age. There was also a rather vast selection of books, other than the school ones, for them. The plastic carpet allowed them to play safely and it was kind of comfortable enough that sometimes kids just fell asleep there.

Anyway, she had choose a familiar environment for Hilean, even though it wasn't for Jax, but he was pretty capable of adapting to a situation. They were in a safe place, and being surrounded by toys wouldn't do much of a difference for him. It was easy to settle in. Once they arrived at the edge of the carpet, Hilean sneaked down from her father's embrace and started pulling off her shoes, just lik Aleha. It was one of the rules, to keep it clean.

I realized then that Jax felt like a fish out of water. I had followed them and I was sitting on a pile of plastic boxes not too far from them and I saw the confusion in his eyes. I was about to give him a hint when Hilean grabbed his hand and tugged him down. "Come on dad, take off your shoes!"

"Alright! Alright!" he chuckled as he sat and on the thick carpet and pulled off his own boots. "But, tell me, what is this place?"

"This is our playground. And our school too. And for the younger children like me, it's the place for the afternoon nap." she said doing a backward cartwheel. "Today mom started teaching us how to write while the others did some maths test!" she was always enthusiast when it came to school.

"Really?"

The girl nodded. "Yep! Then we did some... mom, what are they called?"

"Coordination excercies." replied Aleha, sitting crosslegged in front of them.

"Hey, I remember them!" snapped Jax. "I loved them! I had so much fun doing them when I was your age!"

"I love them too! They're fun and it's like playing, not training!"

"Exactly, and they're useful, you see it in a few years!"

Her eyes lit up. "Really?"

Jax nodded. "Very useful! I told you, you'll see in some years." He was doing a lot better than I had thought. He had really taken my advice, he was going with the flow for real! "But tell me, how did the writing lesson go?"

Natural born dad.

"Good... I think. I have problems with the senth though!"

"Senth is hard, really!"

"I just keep forgetting of that little inclined line on the left! I never make it right!"

"If you want and your mom agrees tomorrow we can work on that!" he proposed.

Her eyes sparked as he spoke and a big smile appeared on her face. "Together?"

"Together. Only if your mother agrees though."

Clearly, Aleha had no intention to interfere and had no objections. "Sure. And if you want also help me with the other kids, well, your help is more than welcome."

"Of course! Just ask and I'll do anything you want!"

In that moment I realized how deeply those two Jedi loved each other. Jax was ready to do anything for her, and his running away was only an extreme attempt to protect her from his messed up life and all his problems.

A short pause followed and Hilean sat in front of her father, crosslegged like her mother, looking straight up at him. "Dad... why did you leave mom alone? You didn't want us?"

The question everyone dreaded.

"No!" he snapped, louder than he meant, probably. "No..." he repeated, with less emphasis but still marking his point. "It's just that when I had to leave there were men, evil men, that were coming after me. I just didn't want them to find about your mother and hurt her. That would have killed me. And if I had known you were coming, I would have stayed, that's sure."

At least he admitted it.

"You didn't know?"

"Well, I didn't know either!" said Aleha.

Hilean turned towards her. "You didn't know I was coming?"

She shook her head. "Nope. Not yet at least. You know, when a baby starts growing in his or her mother's tummy, it is really really small. You remember? I told you not too long ago." she nodded. "Well, you can't really see it. And it's so tiny that his mom won't find out until he grows a little. It takes some time!"

The girl was getting curious. "How long?"

"Some months actually, so actually see a sign that the baby is growing, but a mother can feel her baby a lot sooner than that. When I realized that you were coming, I asked if Padmè could help me because, you know... I was a little scared!"

"Why were you scared?"

I suppressed a chuckled. That conversation was turning into an endless series of questions. And that was only the beginning.

Aleha sighed and patted her back. "Because it was something new for me. And new things always scare us, we can't do much about it, so I went looking for someone who already had children, because I needed to know what was going to happen, to me and to you, even though you were just a tiny bug at the time!"

"Bug?" asked Jax, slightly amused.

Aleha shrugged her shoulders and smiled. "Bug, Chip, Rancor... I used to call her every kind of name before the doctor here confirmed that she was a baby girl. The name came up by itself the first time I held her. My grandmother name."

Jax smiled, pulling Hilean closer to hug her. "I like it. And believe it or not, I like _bug _too. It's cute!"

"I'm not a bug!" murmured the girl between them.

"Of course you're not!" laughed Jax. "But once you were the same size as one. And that doesn't mean you're a bug. It's just a nickname! Hey, why don't you show me what you've learned?"

Alright, my job was done there. Clearly Jax was totally head over heels with his daughter, totally in love with her. He would never leave, even after those short minutes they spent together. The path was marked, now it was only a matter of following it. And they could all do that by themselves. I had other things to do, and the first was spending some time with my kids.

And my wife.

And possibly place a huge pack of instant ice on my shoulder. I definitely needed to have it checked as soon as I could. But it was too late that night. It was nearly time for dinner and then they would go to bed and... well, the next day didn't look like a great one from my perspective. The wait was killing me. I wanted to know if Padmè was pregnant or not, only then I could consider that adventure completely over. File closed. Time to open another one. A better one.

Oh, definitely.

I stood and stretched, careful not to stress the left shoulder and headed towards the lift.

"Hey, Anakin! Where are you going?" asked Aleha.

"Got a couple of kids to take care of! And you seem to handle him pretty well, you can do it! See you at dinner!"

"Usual table?"

"Sure! See you in an hour!" I yelled as the sliding doors closed.

Six levels lower, the doors opened again and what I saw there wasn't really what I was expecting, nor what I really wanted to see. Antilles.

_Oh shit! _I thought, clenching my fists behind my back. The urge to punch him until I broke his jaw was almost impossible to suppress.

"Rosh! You're here! That's... unexpected! I thought I'd see you much later this month!"

"There were circumstances that forced us to come back earlier. For the safety of the Alliance." I replied, trying not to fall into his trap.

"You encountered the Empire?" he asked, suddenly serious.

"Well, my face didn't get bruised like this because we met up with some nice Ithorians, don't you think?"

"Do they know where we are?" he asked.

"We killed them all, don't worry about that!" I tried to calm him down. "We're OK, no need to make a fuss out of it."

His thick eyebrows shot up at my remark. "No need to make a fuss about it? Rosh, have you lost your mind? While you were out there looking for something you didn't find, we were trying to enforce our security systems and you get involved in a brawl with the Imperials? I'm still your boss here and that's not acceptable!"

If he only knew that I outclassed his rank only because I breathed...

"Listen... we didn't find what we were looking for, but we found something better!"

"And what would it be?"

"You know that Master Khor has a child, don't you?" he nodded. "Well, we found her father, that's what we found!"

That shut him up for good. "Now excuse me, Colonel, but I've got things to do now."

I left him there and headed down the corridor towards my apartment. I was tempted to end the sentence with a nice "fuck off" but decided against it. My reputation wasn't exactly at its best and I still needed to hold my cover. I walked quickly and soon I was at the door. I didn't have my keycard so I knocked and waited. Not ten seconds later, Luke opened the door. He had probably just come out of the shower because he was still towelling his hair dry.

"Hey Squid, you OK?" I asked picking him up.

"Fine. Mom's doing Leia's hair. How are they doing?"

"Who? Aleha, Hilean and Jax? They're fine, they're just finally getting to know each other, like us last year. We'll see them at dinner, don't worry."

"I'm not worried. I just wanted to know... I'm curious, that's all."

I set him down on the floor and he ran towards the small bathroom. I followed him when I saw him reaching for the comb, that was way of his action radius, so I pulled him up from his armpits until he could grab it and comb his spiky hair. He didn't have the Padawan braid or the small ponytail that we used to wear, and it was a lot easier for him than it was for me at his age. "Thank you dad."

"No problem. Put it down, come on." I told him before I let him go. "Let's not leave a mess behind us!"

"Oh, I almost forgot. Mom called Janu, he's coming down there to take a look at your shoulder."

I set him down and sighed. "Alright. When will he come down?" And someone knocked on the door. "I guess now!"

I saw Leia rushing out of her room, soon followed by Padmè, heading for the door. She opened it and stepped aside to let Janu in.. "Good evening!" she said, extremely respectful in his regards.

"Good evening Leia. How's your eye?" he asked kneeling at her height to take a loot at her. "Open it, please."

"It's not bad! Master Kohr gave me the eyedrops this morning and I should have them before I go to bed."

"You've been keeping them in the fridge as I told you?" she nodded. "Great. Now tell me, what the hell happened to your dad?"

"Dislocated shoulder." I said from the bathroom doorstep. "For the third time, to be sincere."

Groaning, he shook his head and placed his supply bag on the table, then pulled a chair. "Take off your shirt and sit here. Third time you said?"

I obeyed, placed the folded clothing on another chair and sat down, nodding. "Yep. It happened twice when I was in jail, last time three years ago. Oh, it's the left shoulder, by the way."

"You know, the size of the bruise here was kind of revealing. How did this happen anyway?"

"As you can see, I had a nasty meeting with some guys who didn't like me so much. I fell and the joint just popped out." he lifted my arm and poked here and there, looking for something. "And it hurt like hell."

"Oh I know, I know. And now? Does it hurt?"

"Not much, actually. It's dull, but it stings when I move the arm upwards. Some hours ago it was a lot worse."

"Have you taken something? Painkillers or anything similar?"

"I gave him a strong painkiller as soon as I had secured his arm so he couldn't move it, then I made him take an anti-inflammatory before he fought with the Inquisitor that was chasing us."

He stopped his poking and prodding for a moment and leaned enough to look down at me. "You managed to fight in this conditions? How?"

I sighed. "It was a matter of life and death. For real. Either I fought, or now we wouldn't be here. Adrenaline works wonder with the pain."

He pushed his fingers around the joint and moved my arm upwards until I winced in pain, letting out a quite long sequence of swearing in huttese. "I don't like this."

"Me neither." I groaned. That hurt. Not like three days before, when it dislocated, but it hurt a lot.

"I fear you've got a nasty case of SLAP tear. Your ligaments were injured in the past and this time they just tore for good this time. I need a MRI scan to confirm it but everything considered, it's the most plausible diagnosis I can come up with now." he said. "You can get dressed now."

I grabbed my stuff and donned it. "And that means?"

"It means that you need surgery. And some long months of physical therapy, or you'll be in a lot, chronic pain for the rest of your life, other than losing the mobility of the articulation.. That's what it means."

Well... could be worse. It could be cured! "Alright. Do you need to do more exams or anything?"

"An MRI and maybe a CT scan. Tomorrow afternoon would be OK for you?"

"Sure. No problem. After lunch?" I stretched my neck and felt that slight sting I was talking earlier. Not good.

"Three o'clock would be better. I've got some things to do in the morning that may drag into early afternoon. Alright?"

I nodded. "Perfect. Three o'clock. I count on that. In the mean time... " he said as he rummaged through the contents of his bag. "Take this right after dinner. And one next morning, after breakfast. After the exam tomorrow I'll decide if let you continue with that or give you something stronger. It will make the pain more bearable and make you sleep better. SLAP tears can make sleeping quite difficult because of the pain. And don't think you can go without it. This is for your sake, OK? Don't just go and forget about this. And put an additional pillow under your shoulder tonight, and one under your armpit. You'll feel better."

He handed me a bottle of pills. "Alright. It will be done."

He shut his bag closed. "Good. See you in the afternoon and Padmè, still OK for eight o'clock?"

"Yes Janu. And thank you."

"It's my job. And a blood work won't take too long. You'll be good to go in no time." he walked up to the door. "Good night Kids! Have a nice evening!"

When the door closed behind him, Leia looked up and Padmè, slightly worried. "Mom, why do you need a blood work? You don't feel fine?"

Smiling, she leaned down and kissed her. "No Leia, I'm fine. It's just that..." she looked at me then sighed. "It's just that I have the feeling that there's a little brother or sister coming for you, and I want to be sure!"

Her eyes, and her brother's alike, lit up. "Really?"

She drew a long, deep breath and smiled again. "Kids, I'm not sure. And I can't be until tomorrow, so, don't hang on hope too much, OK?"

They were beaming. For real. They were trying to hide it, but they were happy. Happier than us, that was sure.

"OK mom..." they both said. "Ehm, can we go upstairs for dinner?" asked Luke.

She nodded. "Sure. Go, we'll be right behind you."

And off they went, leaving us alone. "Are you sure about telling them?" I asked her, after a long moment of silence.

She grabbed my hand and gently tugged, forcing me to move towards her. She wrapped her arms around me and leaned against my chest. I could only hug her back, holding her close to me. "Yes. There's no need to lie to them. They'd find out one way or another. They're both very empathic, they would notice something's different between us, you've been treating me like something fragile since I told you I might be pregnant."

"Hey, excuse me if I'm a little worried for my wife and our baby!"

Unconsciously, I smiled. "Oh, there, finally a smile! I've missed that!" she pulled me down to kiss me, and for a moment I thought about pushing her towards our room, lock the door and well... make her scream as loud as I could, but I held back my lowest instincts. " Now come on, take those pills and let's go upstairs. We're a little hungry."

"Excuse me did you just say _we_? I thought you weren't so sure about it!"

"Yes, I said _we_. No I'm not sure. But I have a feeling, and believe me, I already had this feeling once, and roughly eight months later Luke and Leia were screaming their lungs out after sixteen hours of labor, so... trust me, the blood work is only a formality. Now let's go, or we'll be late!"

* * *

_Alright. Even this chapter is done. Now, off to the next one. It's getting loooooooong! For real! It's already longer than Over The Hills! And I'm not so close to the end, actually, at least four more chapters! At least! Hey, hope you liked it! See ya!_


	35. Deep As You Go

_Before you start reading, you have to know a couple of things: first of all, I don't know a thing about goldsmithing. My great-grand father was a goldsmith, but unfortunately I never met him so, everything I wrote in this chapter comes straight from my wild imagination. _

_Second: go look on youtube for October Project's song Deep As You Go. Believe me, you'll like it. _

_Third (this one is for a friend): Ale, licenza di fangirlare selvaggiamente!_

* * *

**Chapter 35 - Deep As You Go **

I must admit, I never actually liked the canteen. It was noisy, messy, the long tables and relative benches prevented people from talking quietly and sometimes you had to scream to be heard by someone on the other side of the table, maybe just be cause you needed the salt. But it was one of the few places you could actually rest for a while, other than the common room, that had the same problems, and enjoy the company of your friends. And I also have to admit that the cooks weren't half bad. And it was open until late night, that meant that we could use it as long as we wanted for our evening meetings. And I had the feeling that was going to be a long meeting.

When we arrived upstairs, we found Darrick, Lysveet, Aleha and Jax already at the usual table. We quickly walked there and reached them. "Hey there, you alright?" asked Darrick.

Padmè nodded as she stopped beside Aleha. "Just perfect. We still have stuff to unpack, but at least we're home."

"Yep. It's wonderful being here, even if we weren't gone for too long."

"Your face practically screams: _we had a bad trip_ really loud!" said Lysveet. "What happened?"

"Long story." I said. "Let us grab dinner and we'll explain everything."

After quite a long queue, during which I noticed Obi-Wan coming in through the metal door, we grabbed our daily ration, took our trays to the table and sat down. On the way back I saw a couple of friends from Dxun, greeted them and promised we would talk next day about my trip, but that I was already occupied and that I couldn't stop with them. When they noticed Padmè a couple of steps ahead of me, they just waved me off and told me to come back later. They knew who I was for real, and I will be never thankful enough for all the help and the support they gave me through the years. My shifts up in the hangar and in the engineering lab with them were more like a long stream of consciousness on my side, because I realized that I spent half of the time complaining and venting out some of the frustration on them, and they just listened my endless rants on Antilles and the stupid rules every day, and never said anything. If I could still consider myself mentally sane, I owed it to them.

Anyway, we sat down and greeted the others. "Hey, how's Hilean?" I asked, settling beside Aleha, right in front of Padmè.

"She's fine. She's with the other kids now, at their table. The twins?"

"Just fine. A bit overstimulated but fine." replide Padmè. "And you Jax? You alright?"

"I feel like a sleepwalker that just woke up and realized he just robbed a bank while he slept. I just don't know what to say!" by the look on his face he was genuinely upset, but in a good way. I knew the feeling, all too well, even if I wish I didn't. That would mean I'd never have to stay away from my kids for so long. And probably, the prospective of having another child would not scare me that way. Well... I wasn't really scared, worried was a better word to describe the feeling but yet it wasn't totally exact.

Anyway...

"You look really good for a sleepwalker, or a bank robber!" joked Obi-Wan. "So, tell us. How did it go?"

"He was a bit rigid in the beginning, but he handed it quite well actually."

"Hey, excuse me if I didn't feel completely at ease!" he tried to justify himself. "It doesn't happen everyday that a friend you thought dead literally drops into your life and tells you have a daughter while hanging off a ledge during an earthquake! I was slightly shocked!"

"No one blames you Jax. You handed it quite well actually!" I told him right after I swallowed a bite of my dinner. "You just followed the flow, like I told you. Hilean did all the heavy work."

He nodded. "Yep. You were right. I'm sorry I doubted you."

I shook my head in return. "Don't worry about it. First person experience works wonders. And I can tell you that every day will be better. She'll never stop to amaze you!"

"Like your kids?"

"Exactly." I reached out with my left hand to take the salt and felt the dull ache intensify. I yelped in pain. "Damn... I really hope Janu will operate this shoulder as soon as he can!" I murmured.

"You went down for a visit?' asked my Master.

"Actually, I called him." said Padmè. "I asked him for a home visit, and apparently he needs surgery, but tomorrow he'll go through some more detailed exams."

"I thought it was only a dislocation!"

"The third in less then eight years, not to mention the countless subluxations I think occurred through that time. He talked about something called SLAP tear, I don't really know what it is but it hurts. He gave an anti-inflammatory and some hints for tonight, and tomorrow afternoon he'll do some more exams. But he was pretty sure about his diagnosis."

"And the prognosis?" asked Aleha.

"Reconstructive surgery and some months of physical therapy." I replied. "At least that's what he told me. And if I can get over with it by the end of the week, well, I'm good with it."

"Wow! Anakin Skywalker willingly submitting to a surgeon! That's a first!" said Darrick, laughing.

"If she's pregnant... " I said pointing at Padmè. "I want both my arms to be functioning. For various reasons!"

Five pairs of eyes set on my wife. "You're pregnant?" asked Lysveet.

Padmè puffed softly. "I'm not sure yet."

"You said the bloodwork is just a formality!" I promply replied, with my mouth still full.

"I know what I said, but I'd prefer to be completely sure before giving the news to the whole base. Also I would still be at high risk of miscarriage at this point, I don't really want to let the news spread. You're still not on good bases with Antilles after all, what if the news that Atton Rosh knocked me up start spreading and arrives straight up to him, then results it's not true?"

I groaned. "He's an idiot. The worst thing is that I outrank him just because I exist, but I can't just tell him to go and fuck up with someone else! Damn, formally killing Anakin Skywalker was the worst idea I ever had in my whole life. Sometimes I just want to tell him _fuck off_ and with it."

"Come on, it gave you a whole year of anonimity! What do you think would have happened if he had known who you really are?" said Obi-Wan.

I swallowed the last bite and sighed. "That I'd been sent here and there through the Galaxy, probably moving more than twice a month, being away from my family for most of my time."

"Alright, alright, it wasn't the worst idea of my life, I get it. But I swear he will come back to the world of the living, one day or another, I can't really stand this situation anymore! It's just... it's just that sometimes I want to kill him with my bare hands."

"And considering what you've done with Dalan, it wouldn't take you a great effort." stated Jax.

"You killed him? You killed the Jedi Hunter?" asked Lysveet. "According to what I read about him in the last few days, I thought he was immortal!"

"Yep. Roughly eight hours ago. Dead and rotting just above the Valley of the Jedi, with a severed arm and a smoking hole through his chest."

"Hey, Anakin, no need to brag about it." he added.

"Yeah, people are eating here! And I'm a little nauseous, please, if you love me like you always say, stop that. It took all my self control this morning not to throw up what remained of my breakfast."

I nearly choked on my glass of water. "Damn, I'm sorry... I didn't know..."

"Stop that and finish your dinner. You'll make up for that later."

"Woh someone's up for the fireworks tonight!" joked Darrick.

She made a face. "Not really. I'm too tired for that. Maybe tomorrow. I just want to put the twins to sleep and crawl in our bed and sleep until I have to go to the infirmary tomorrow morning." she said.

"Completely understandable. Oh, anyway, I took the liberty to set up the apartment beside yours for Aleha and Jax, I hope you don't mind."

I shrugged my healthy shoulder. "As long as they don't wake us up in the middle of the night because their bed is banging against the wall, no problem."

For that, I received a hard slap behind my head from Aleha. "Anakin... you could have spared that."

"For what? Look at your boyfriend there, he's red as a Sith's lightsaber!"

It was true, and that was funny as hell. Jax was terribly embarrassed by my remark, and yes, it felt good, being able to joke, for real, after weeks of living on the edge all day and night. And I still hadn't started with the mocking of Darrick and Lysveet!

"Hey, do I have to start? I've got enough material to make you as red as him, if not more." added Padmè.

"Oh, and you think I don't have the same resources, _screamer_?"

"Alright, for that, you're not getting any! Even if I were in the mood, it's you and your hand tonight!" she said with an amused glare in her eyes. "And if you go on this road a while longer, you'll be banished to the couch!"

"Hey you can't do that!" I laughed. "No problem with the jerking off but the couch? My shoulder is hurt, I can't sleep on the couch!"

At that point, everyone was breathing hard because of too much laughing. Darrick was completely breathless. "I swear that if being married means acting like you two, I'm going to propose tomorrow morning first thing!"

Lysveet hit him with her elbow right in his ribcage. "Don't even think about it! We've been together for how long? A week? No thank you, marriage is not my thing!"

"Nine days actually. And I told you I'm OK with that, I was fooling around!" he declared grabbing her hand and holding it tightly. "As long as you don't bring up the subject, marriage is out of the picture for us."

"Don't let Antilles know you're together then." I said. "He would have your head on a plate, you saw what he did with me!"

Lysveet smiled, a strange spark crossed her eyes for a moment, behind the red glasses. "Let him try. I know all the secret of this base, every backdoor and every hidden entrance in our network, not to mention that I personally designed it. I can literally make his life an informatic hell. Alarms snapping at every hour, most of all the specific ones he needs to check every time they sound, double orders... that kind of stuff."

"You know, I've always liked you, even if for years I've known you only by your moniker, but right now, I really think you're my best friend!" I said.

"You know Anakin, there's an old saying that comes up from time to time among us slicers and it says _never piss off a hacker, one day you'll need a computer, and be sure, he'll fuck it up_. I still live by that non-written rule. You make me angry, I make your life a mess. Antilles makes me angry, he'll need years of psychological therapy to overcome the trauma."

Yep, I really liked that girl... ehm, woman.

"Wow, you can really be cruel if you want!" said Darrick. "I guess I'll have to watch my back!"

"Only if you want to die from a slow, painful, technologically advanced death. And even if you're a Jedi, I'll find a way!"

He tugged her hand towards him and made her lean against him, then he circled her shoulders with his arm. "Slicer beats Jedi. And I'm learning quickly."

"You know..." started Padmè. "When I... well, when I called you some days ago I wasn't really sure you would be a well matched couple, but now that I see you... Lysveet, really, if he proposes, accept. Don't do the same mistake I made twelve years ago. I pushed him away because I thought marriage wasn't my cup of tea, but things changed. In the end I practically proposed right before we were taken to the Arena of Geonosis!"

"Padmè, really, I doubt things will change. I'm not a fan of feeling bound. That's all."

"It's not that I mind, really. Married, not married.. who cares! It's not a signed document that tells me that I love someone. If there's something that your story taught me it's that no matter what, deep as you go, if you really love someone, if this is what you want, then you don't need anything else." stated Darrick.

"Go and tell that in front of Antilles."

I saw Jax shaking his head. "What the hell who does he thing he is?" he asked.

"He's the guy in charge of the base, and he took the _no personal relationships unless they were pre-existent _rule by the book. Which means, you're actually forbid to have any kind of personal relationship with someone else except for friendship! If you come here and you're already married, no problem. He's OK with that. But if you're not married and you start a relationship here, you're fucked."

He made a strange face. "That doesn't make sense! What in the Sith Hell, it's worse that the Jedi Order!"

"Yeah, don't tell me!" I said. "He's been after me since I got busted a couple of months ago. He can't touch her since she's one of the founders of the Alliance, so he keeps bugging me. And beware: he'll come for you too."

He grimaced at the thought. "Well, if there's something I learned from my travels in these years is that people like this Antilles sometimes need a high five on their faces with a fist. Let him come, I'll deal with him myself."

"So you intend to stay?" asked Obi-Wan.

He nodded. "Definitely. Anakin was right. The moment I saw Aleha I knew I couldn't really want to leave again. Hilean just sealed the deal."

"And what about our nasty friend?" asked Lysveet.

"Don't worry about it. In any case, I'll deal with him." stated Padmè. "He's way below me in the rank scale, and actually, he's well below all the Jedi actually, too bad he keeps ignoring this tiny amendment of the rules. And you've all let it go all too often. He had no right and you let him act without saying anything! In any case, let him come to me. Once I'll be finished, he won't speak for a month. I'm dead tired of that bully!"

"I was hoping he'd just stop being so strict once most of the army was moved to Yavin but he only got worse." said Darrick. "I don't know why, it seems like he suffer from some kind of inferiority complex in our regards. If he can bug a Jedi, he'll do it. For any reason."

"He's been questioning my authority in matters of flying for months now." added Obi-Wan. "What the hell, I've been in more space battles in one month than he's been in his whole life!"

"You just didn't like it! Not to mention that even if I literally designed the X-Wing, with the others of course, he took me off the developing team! I'm not even allowed to go down there!"

"I will never understand that!" replied Aleha. "I mean, you even fixed his speeder when no one could, he knows how good you are with engines, and still he took you off the team! What the hell!"

"You're telling me that this jerk is really in charge of this base?" asked Jax at that point. "It doesn't make sense, he sound like a true idiot!"

"Senator Organa trusts him. And he's not that bad, he's great with everything else, he's just a jerk with you guys." intervened Padmè. "It's time to kick him back to his place, and if you're not going to do it yourselves, I am. Whenever he decides to be a jerk."

"Wow, you've got yourself a tough one Anakin!"

"Two terms as elected queen of Naboo, the first one during the greatest crisis my homeplanet ever had to face and then six years in the Republican Senate, yes, I can be tough."

The whole table burst out in laugh. Yeah, Padmè could be tough. Really tough. Tougher than most of the men I knew. And I couldn't stop thinking about how lucky I was to have her at my side. Damn lucky indeed. The way she had managed to get along with my friends was marvelous. She had practically lost everyone from her previews life and now, well, she had build new relationships, made new friends... after years, our worlds matched. It was not about politicians and Jedi, our random, brief moments together were not spent briefing each other about war-related stuff. We were at war, that was sure, but we could be a little more carefree, and since we had come out of the closet, we could enjoy some time with our friends.

And considering that she had vowed to put Antilles back in his place, well, we could be a lot more open. That idiot would get what he deserved, that was sure. Nothing could stop my wife, not even proton missiles. She could be a damn bastard when she wanted. And Antilles was about to be slaughtered, that was sure. Well, metaphorically speaking I mean, she was still a devout defender of peace, but when the situation required it, she was always ready for a very aggressive behavior.

I looked at my right towards Jax and Aleha. She was smiling. For real. Not that fake, half smile she put up for conveniences, or for her daughter. She was happy, for the first time in years. I knew how she felt, both of them actually. And the high they were experiencing would never go away, as long as they were together. It would probably go down a little, but never away for real. For a reason or another, they'd always felt that way. They'd been separated for too long, for all the wrong reasons, and right in that moment I could see, and feel, how deeply their love was rooted in their hearts. Yep, all the troubles we had gone through to find him were definitely worth it. Two of my best friends were finally happy, and so was Darrick. And Lysveet.

We had left them that they had just met, and in a couple of weeks they had become literally stitched to one another. And that comment about proposing next morning was seal of the deal.

Proposing...

It seemed like a total idiocy.

No, it wasn't. Alright, it was. Yes, it was completely idiotic but... somehow it seemed right.

I looked down at my wedding band and thought about what Obi-Wan had told me I don't really know how long before, that by the laws of the Republic our wedding wasn't really valid. Secret, yes. Well, not so secret but you get the idea. Valid? Nope. Jedi couldn't get married, and any law wouldn't recognize legally a marriage of an active member of the Order. And I was an active member of the Order when I married her so our marriage met less than nothing.

That gold-plated ring legally at my finger meant less than nothing, legally. Emotionally, it meant everything, most of all because for a long time that tiny thing had been the only tangible thing linked to Padmè that I possessed.

Still, it didn't mean much, for any other beside us.

I had to change that, and one of my typically foolish ideas was forming in the back of my mind, puffing like a kettle on the stove. But I needed some help, and some time down in the workshop.

After a while, when we were all done with our dinner and the weight of the day started making us feeling tired, and most of all, when bedtime for the kids approached, we gathered the whole pack and, like every night, escorted them to their quarters. Hilean proudly presented her father to the other kids as a new member of our enlarged family and all her friends welcomed him as if he had always been part of it. We were all they had. The base was their home, we were their parents and the rest of the population were all their relatives, some nicer than others and more willing to stay with them sometimes, but those kids were the mascot of the base. There wasn't another Rebel base with tiny Jedi in training, and rumor had it that those who had been moved from Dantooine and relocated to another base missed the bunch of kids that ran all around the living quarters.

Quickly and orderly, we helped the younger kids change into their PJs and tucked them into their beds. Even Jax helped us, even if felt a little awkward in the beginning. Lysveet on the other hand seemed pretty at ease with them, a sign that maybe she had temporarly taken Padmè's place when we were away and that the role stuck to her. A couple of little girls kissed her goodnight before they crawled under the covers and turned off the light. Once all the kids, except for Hilean, Luke and Leia were ready to sleep, we closed the door behind us and walked down the corridor to the "family units", as they called the small apartments for families.

"Hey, who painted the walls?" asked Jax.

"We did!" replied Leia and Hilean together "Last year before the Daltarra attack dad made them paint his X-Wing and about a month later, when we moved here, instead of training he just brought a some paint canisters down here and made us paint the walls."

"We helped them though." added Darrick. "They decided the theme and where they wanted what. And with some supervising, we managed to cover all the walls and ceiling with the beach and the sea."

"Remarkable, to say the least! You made an amazing job! Did you paint an existing beach or you just invented it?"

"One close to the base. One day, about a week before we made this, we managed to convince our super-jerk of a boss to let us take them out of the base and see the sun for once in the summer. They fell in love with the place, Darrick drew a sketch of the area around us and we re-made it on the walls." explained Padmè.

"We should take there again, I mean... it would be good for them!" he said.

I don't really know what happened, but by the time Jax had met his daughter, he had completey changed into a new person. And it suited him.

"Why not?" I replied. "It's been ages since they saw the light of day, that would really be great for them."

"We should ask, but I don't really think they'll stop us. If there's something they can't resist, it's the kids. No one can resist them!" said Aleha.

"Then it's a deal." I stated. "Darrick, would you mind? I need to ask you something."

He nodded. "Sure. Anything."

I dragged him a few steps away from the group. " Alright. Darrick, I need your knowledge."

"Why do I have the feeling this is one of you epic idiotic ideas?" he asked, jokingly.

"You're not too far from the truth. Listen, the crystal cave, here, do you know where it is located?"

"Sure. I gathered all the crystals for the kids' lightsabers a while ago. Why? Do you need a new one?"

"Yep, I need a blue adegan crystal. Can you find them there?"

He thought about it for a moment, twisting his beard. "I think I can find them. And the blue ones are more common than the others so yes, I can get you one. But why? You have issues with that one?"

I shook my head. "No, but like you said, this is one of my epic idiot ideas. I'm going to propose tomorrow, before she tells me if she is pregnant or not, and this time I want to do it properly, not like the other time, and I need a ring."

"Don't tell me you're going to use your crystal for the ring! By the Force Anakin! You're a complete genius! Or a total idiot..."

"Hey, don't scream like that! Yeah, that's the idea, and I know I'm an idiot just because I thought about it. Will you help me?" I asked again, hoping he would really do as I asked.

"Sure pal! I'll get you a new one tomorrow. I'll leave before dawn, if I'm lucky I should get back after breakfast."

"Thank you Darrick. It means a lot for me. But it's not like I'm going into battle tomorrow afternoon, you don't have to go right tomorrow!"

"Don't worry, I usually get up not much later than that and really, I'd do anything for you. You made my sister happy after years, you succeeded where I failed., I owe you a big one!"

"With that we'll be even. Now go to your girlfriend, I've got a couple of kids to take care of."

"Sure. Good night Anakin. You need me to open the door of the workshop? Antilles gave me the key a while ago."

"That would be great, that way I won't have to bypass the locks."

"I'll open it as soon as I can. Now go, you're soon to be wife for the second time is waiting for you."

I turned and saw Padmè leaning against the doorstep, waiting for me. The kids were already inside, apparently. It was time for their homework and I doubted that their mother would let them skip it, even if we had just come home from our trip. And I was sure they had managed to ditch it for that time.

I bid them good night and walked through the door, closing the door behind me. "Hey, you OK?" I asked her.

"Perfect. Tired but perfect. You?"

"Not bad. A little overstimulated I think. There's something in the back of my mind that keeps me on the edge." I sat on the couch beside her and stretched my neck. "I'm fine though."

"Care to share?" she asked taking my hand in hers.

I shook my head. "Nothing to worry about. It's just... you know, ever since we spent the night on Dagobah I've felt something different... It's like... I don't know, it's like a wardrum in my head. Most of the time it's barely possible to hear, but sometimes it's almost deafening!"

"Have you talked to Obi-Wan about it?"

"Nope. Not yet. It's not there all the time, it's just... it's strange. I think I'll have to realize what it is by myself. Lately, I did pretty well at figuring out thinks by myself!"

She nodded. "Alright. But if you need help, just ask. I'm here, you know that."

"Sure, but I swear, it's nothing. I actually think I know what's going on in my head, and it's not tinnitus, if that's what you think. I just need to think about it a while longer. You know... just to be sure. Where are the kids?"

"Bathroom, getting ready for bed. And then homework. Just half the time though. I'm up for some cuddling time tonight." she admitted, leaning against me. I circled her shoulders with my healthy arm and I heard her sigh when she relaxed against me. "I realized I missed them more than I thought when I saw them earlier."

"Don't tell me. I know how you feel. And I agree with you. Some cuddling wouldn't hurt tonight. Not that kind though." I chuckled when I felt her go rigid for a moment. "I'm too tired for that."

Well, I wasn't actually too tired for that. It's just that I had other plans. I just needed to wait until everyone fell asleep then sneak out. Nothing too hard, I had been doing that for a whole year, I just... I just didn't want to get caught. Again.

"You want me to come with you tomorrow?" I asked, out of the blue.

She shook her head. "No. It's not that I don't want to share it with you but I feel this is something I need to do alone. I mean... Mine the suspects, mine the let down, in case I'm wrong."

"Sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. It's just... Let me handle this alone, would you?"

Well, she always let me handle my shit alone, as I asked her, I could not refuse. It wouldn't have been right. "Alright. I'll wait then."

She didn't speak, but the look in her eyes screamed "Thank you". And in that silence, that stare was deafening.

In that moment they came out of the bathroom and headed for their room. A second later, they came back to the small living room with their books and notepads. "Can we study here with you?"

I looked down at Padmè. She nodded and gestured them to come near us. "Sure, come here Squids. You get only half of the time tonight."

For a moment, they looked at one another, slightly surprised. "You sure you're alright? We never had only half homework time, not even when we were sick!"

"Tonight's a special one." I quickly added. "Mom wants some cuddles and homework gets in the way."

"Oh well, in that case..."

As promised, Padmè kept them studying only for an hour instead of two and after that we were literally bombed with questions about our trip and trying to answer them as truthfully as we could sparking them all the gruesome details was harder than we thought. And tiring. A couple of hours later, Padmè and both the kids were suppressing yawns and showing signs of weariness. Time to put them to sleep. Mom included.

"I think it's time for bed now." I said then.

"But dad! It's not even ten!" whined Leia, literally drilling her eye with her closed fist, a sign I had learned to recognize as extreme tiredness.

"I know, but you're tired. And so is mom, therefor, off to bed! Come on Squids, it's bet time!"

Luke sagged against the back of the couch and sighed. "Can we sleep with you tonight?"

I looked up at Padmè. She was dead tired, I could see that, but I could see she just wanted some time together. And if that meant letting the kids sleep with us for that night, well, so be it.

"Alright, alright. But just for tonight. From tomorrow on, you sleep in your bed. OK?"

It didn't take us much time to get prepared for the night and a minute after we turned off the light, the three of them were already sound asleep. The room was completely silent, except for the low sound of their even breathing. It felt great, laying in my bed after two weeks of uncomfortable bunks, but I couldn't allow myself the pleasure of sleep. Not that night. I had a job to do.

I was just too wired to sleep anyway.

I waited maybe an hour, maybe something more, before I decided it was safe to try and sneak away from the bed. As slowly and silently as I could, I crawled from beneath the thick covers and grabbed my clothes, then walked out of the room. I got dressed in the living room, grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and headed for the door, but a tug at my pants stopped me.

Startled, I turned and saw Luke trying to wipe the sleepiness out of his eyes. "Where are you going?"

"Go back to sleep. I'll be back."

"Dad, where are you going?" he asked again, this time he walked up at me and hugged my legs. "Don't go..."

I pulled him away and knelt in front of him. "Luke, I'm not going anywhere. I have something to do, we'll see again next morning!"

"What?"

Well, lying was no use. He was perfectly capable of keeping secrets for himself, and considering it was something for his mother, I could just tell him.

"It's a surprise for mom. Can you keep a secret?" he nodded and yawned. "Master Obi-Wan told me something the other day and I want to make something good for her. And I need to do it tonight. You know, tomorrow I'm going to ask her to marry me, this time for real and seriously, without the Jedi Order to keep us apart. And I want to make her an engagement ring tonight. Do you think you can keep it from her?"

A tired smile lit his face. "Yes, I can. Make it pretty, OK?"

"Sure. Now go back to sleep. We'll see in the morning, and if tomorrow morning mom asks where I am, tell her I went down at the gym, alright, that I'll see her there next morning?"

He nodded. "Sure. Good work dad!" he turned on his heels and trotted back towards the bedroom.

And that was done.

Walking upstairs to the workshop, I stopped by the admin breakroom and grabbed a cup of coffee, just to stay awake as long as I needed then took the lift to the shop. It was almost midnight and everything was silent, I literally had all the workshop for me. No one was working up there, the whole area was silent. Perfect. Just perfect.

I walked up at the desk that once was mine, well, the desk that I shared with a couple of other guys from the developing team, and sat down. I set the cup down at my left, grabbed a blueprint sheet, a while pencil and took a deep breath. Alright, time to draw something.

Or at least try. I wasn't a goldsmith and that was a problem. A huge problem.

I thought it would be easier, that it wouldn't take me so much time, but after nearly two hours I only had the skeleton of the ring. I didn't really know what I really wanted to do. The design really took me more than the work at the turning lathe, which only took a couple of hours. I designed something like ten different rings, everyone with different perks and decorations, but the only one that I really liked, taht I really could picture on her, was the sixth one I had drawn. It was a simple golden ring, and when I had come up with the idea of make it of solid gold I went checking if I had enough material and fortunately they had just replenished the stocks, with a platinum braid running all around it and the tiny crystal stuck in the structure. It was the only one that worked, in my mind. It was simple, not too catchy ir eye-catching and it was also easy to make.

Finally, at almost seven in the morning, I had chose what I wanted to do. Soon the whole place would be full of activity, I had to start working quickly. Fortunately, I had enough presence of mind to start the burners and prepare the molds while the gold melted. Basically I modified an exagonal nut mold to make it a circle of her size (and believe me, finding the right mold wasn't easy), wove the braid of platinum thread... well, platinum-plated steel thread. As shiny as they were, the threads were too fragile and thin. I needed something thicker that could be actually seen. After the braid was done, I placed it on the exterior side of the mold then carefully poured the melted gold. As quickly as I could, I closed the lid and clumped it shut, then threw it in the water to cool it down enough to become solid.

Meanwhile, I disassembled my lightsaber and took the crystal. It was smaller than I remembered, but it was shiny like any other gem used for jewellery. And it meant a lot more. That gem meant that I had survived years and years of war and battles. That I had alwasy come back home, how much time it took me didn't matter. I always came home. That crystal meant that I loved her, and I wanted to make everyone know. I wanted ot make it more real than it already was. Someone wanted an official statement? He'll have it.

Ten minutes later I opened the mold and took the ring out. It was nearly perfect, a good polish and it was almost done. After a good round with the polisher and it was nearly over. I placed it on a clamp, grabbed a magnifying glass so I could see better then, with a precision tool, literally dug a tiny hole in the structure, big enough to contain the crystal and placed it in there. The metal socket then became solid and the gem was stuck in there permanently. Another passage through the polisher and it was done.

And it was nearly nine in the morning. Her appointment with Janu was in roughly ten minutes. Damn, I had missed my chance. Before the first wave of workers would swamp the place, I put everything back in its place and went out of the workshop, straight to one of the secondary lifts and pushed the button for the common area. Before heading to the canteen, I stopped by the restroom to wash my hands from all the dirt and then it was time to eat something.

When I entered, I saw Ahsoka taking a clean try from the pile. I quickly joined her in the queue. "Hey Snips, how are you?"

She jolted a little when I spoke, caught off guard. "Master! It's good to see you! When did you arrive?"

"Yesterday, late afternoon. I was hoping to see you but you were nowhere in sight!"

"Yeah, I was doing some errands in town until late night, you know... sometimes you can make the best deals after midnight!"

I nodded. "Yep, when people are drunk. I taught you well Padawan! So tell me, what happened when I was away?"

She grabbed a bowl and a cup for coffee then headed to the vast selection of breakfast food. "You should be telling me what happened when you were away! Nothing happened here, just the usual boring routine! Rumor has that some people from above are planning something, but we don't really know much down here. We're waiting for it."

"Well, we found Jax. I killed the man following him and here we are, happily ever after."

She loooked at me, studying me from head to toe. "You don't look happily ever after. You don't even look happy. You look like you haven't slept in days."

"You're not too far from the truth. At least I didn't sleep tonight, but it's for a good cause, not for nightmares or my usual stuff. This time I'm clean!"

We sat at a table slightly separated from the others. "Good to know. Guess that the bruises on your face are due to the Inquisitor!"

"His henchmen mostly. But that's past, they're healing and they're not as purple as some days ago. I'll be fine. Have you seen the others this morning?" I asked pouring some sugar in my coffee.

"They're already upstairs with the kids. Early morning start. I haven't seen Aleha though."

"She's probably still with Jax. Think she deserves her time with him. Just hope they didn't wake Padmè and the kids tonight!"

Maybe I should have stopped making fun on them so much, but hey, it was a sort of revenge for all the mocking I had to go through a year before. And Aleha could be nasty about it!

"Yep, they definitely deserve their time together. I'm happy you found him." she said. "How did Hilean react?"

"As if she had known him forever." I replied.

"Good. So, your next adventure?" she asked stirring her bowl of cereal lazily, as if she didn't really want to eat it.

I shook my head. "I've had enough for a while. Next adventure will be reconstructive surgery to my left shoulder, and physical therapy. Then we'll see."

"You really can't stay away from troubles, don't you?" she asked, trying to suppress a heartfelt laugh.

"I plunge in them like a pool."

After that quick breakfast, Ahsoka went for her own official business and I joined my fellow Knights upstairs to the training room. Actually, there was only Obi-Wan in there, looking at the small crowd of kids, supervising them. They were already doing their morning exercises, a routine made of both meditation and physical exercise. The usual stuff, nothing too different from the morning routine of the Younglings at the Temple, back in the day. Luke and Leia barely noticed me. They waved their hands towards me, smiling, then went back to their work, and if Obi-Wan noticed I had arrived, he didn't show it. He just kept looking, so I just acted like nothing happened and just watched over them, like every morning.

But even as I tried to concentrate on them, all I wanted was rushing downstairs to the infirmary to stay with her but... really, I wanted to do things properly. I wanted to propose without knowing if she was pregnant or not. Shotgun weddings weren't my thing. Or at least they didn't really work with my idea of "doing things properly".

I didn't want to know, not for a while longer at least.

It was nearly ten when the door of one of the secondary lifts opened and Darrick stepped out of it. He came straight to me. He was covered in dust and dirt.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Had to literally hack my way in the cave. The main entrance crumbled and I had to find another safe way in." he said, wiping some dust away from his air. "Damn... anyway, I found your new crystal. It's one of the purest I could get and it should make the blade blue, like the other one."

"Perfect. Thank you, really."

"You're welcome, Anakin. By the way, did you make it?" he asked.

"Sure." I took the ring out of my pocket and unwrapped the small cloth. "Here it is."

He took it and inspected it closely. "Wow Anakin, I'm impressed! I didn't know you could also create jewelry!"

"Me neither." I confessed. "I didn't really know how I actually did it. It took me hours to choose what design I liked the most."

He gave the ring back. "How many have you drawn?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "About ten. But this one is the best, or at least I think so. It's simple. I like it! And I think Padmè will like it."

"Most definitely. It's just like her! How did you make the braid?"

"Platinum-plated steel. It was the hardest thing to do. Damn, I think I can make a living on this kind of stuff. If this is the first one, I don't even want to think about when I get a better!"

"Well, in case we decide to go away from here, you could always open a jewelry shop." he joked. "You could really make a living out of this, most of all on planets like Coruscant or Corelia!"

"I think I'd do better as a mechanic but, hey, you never know! Oh, here comes your sister with her boyfriend. Looks like someone here took her own time to come up here!"

Darrick turned just in time to see his sister blushing like hell and partially hiding her face in Jax's shoulder. He took the innuendo a lot better, probably he'd had to stand a low worse in the past ten years. He was different though, that morning. Clearly he had rested better than he had in years, he had trimmed his beard on his throat and I was ready to bet that Aleha had managed to cut his hair a little bit, enough to get it more under control. They looked great. And that made me happier than you can imagine.

"Morning..." she greeted us.

"Morning to you!" replied Darrick. "How are you?"

"Rested." said Jax. "And slightly less frustrated than yesterday!"

"I know the feeling. And you're lucky you didn't have a broken leg to deal with."

"I swear that when Padmè told me story I could barely breathe! I was laughing too much!" said Aleha. "What the hell did you do to turn that thing off?"

I raised my hands, defensively. "Don't know. It just turned off."

"Oh, by the way... we saw Padmè, on the way up and she said she's coming over. She just needed to go back to your place to get something...I think!"

I straightened up and sighed. "How did she look?"

Aleha looked up at Jax for a moment. "She was smiling, wasn't she?"

"Yep. She looked... fine! I mean, I've known her only for a couple of days but... yes, she looked alrigh... Actually I didn't really look!"

I sighed "OK, OK, no problem... I... damn, the wait is killing me!"

"She had an appointment with Janu this morning, right?" asked Darrick.

I nodded. "Yes. The problem is that she didn't want me to come with her and tonight I didn't actually sleep in our place."

"Where the hell did you go?" asked Jax at that point.

"In the workshop, literally making an engagement ring out of nothing." answered Darrick for me. "With his own lightsaber's crystal. That's why I'm covered in dirt, I went at the Cave to get him a new one!"

"No way! Come on Anakin, show it!" snapped Aleha. "I can't believe you're going to propose!" and when I pulled the ring out she squeale a little bit. "Oh gods... look at that! It's amazing, I've never seen anything like that in my life."

"You like it?"

She nodded. "Absolutely! Padmè will adore it, I'm sure. With a ring like this, there's no woman that will ever say no to anything! Jax, in case you ever decide to ask me to marry you, I want Anakin to make my ring!"

He managed to hold back a strained cough. "Duly noted." he managed to say.

"Good gods! I swear, this is the best thing I've ever seen! And when I worked as a bodyguard for all those uptown ladies on Coruscant, I've seen a lot of jewels. They were gorgeous but this one... this is the best. She'll love it, I'm sure of it!"

"We'll see about that in a minute." stated her brother. "She's here!"

I looked up and saw her coming out of the elevator with a group of other men and women, part of a flying class that I used to teach to, before I was suspended. Time for their morning exercise! Suddenly, I felt a huge lump in my throat and it was nearly impossible to breathe properly.

"I'm screwed..." I murmured.

"No you're not." said Darrick patting my back, sympathetically. "Go on, we're here."

"Shit..." she was smiling. She was smiling and... and she was glowing. And I was petrified, for real!

Well, it was time to act. The base training area wasn't the best place for something like that but, hey... at least I was sure that Antilles wouldn't come down here. I grabbed courage with both hands and walked towards her. I could feel the eyes of the others, even Obi-Wan was now looking at me. At us.

When I started moving, she sped up her pace and she reached me not too far away from the bunch of Jedi Knights, and a Master, behind me.

"Anakin I..."

"Shh... stop. Let me talk first please, I've got something to ask you."

And only then I realized I hadn't rehearsed a word. Nothing. I had to improvise. And that made the lump at my throat suddenly become tighter. Fuck my innate shyness, I thought I had overcome it with years but it was now back at full force. Damn it.

She looked a little upset, most of all because of my continuous shaking I think, but let me go on with my idiotic acting. "OK..." she said, a little uncertain. "Alright, go on."

"Padmè I... oh gods, this is even worse than what I thought. Right... just listen. I've stayed away for eight years, and during those years many things changed. I changed, but within those walls I... I think I realized something. I asked you to marry me in all the wrong ways and occasions, I behaved like a jerk, a total idiot and I realized that you had all the reasons to reject me." she tried to stop me but I hushed her. "But I also realized that for you I've climbed mountains and swam across oceans. I've crossed all the lines and I've broke all the rules, but I'd do it again, and I wouldn't even be sorry about it because we're together now and that's all that matters but... our marriage isn't valid."

"What?" she snapped when I said that.

"I was still an active member of the Jedi Order and that makes it totally illegal. That gives me a second chance, and this time I want to do things properly, no poking and prodding, trying to force you into something you feel isn't right, no execution arenas and no wild, starving beasts ready to eat us alive. This time nothing will stop me."

I took the ring out of my pocket and knelt in front of her. "Oh gods..." she gasped when showed her the ring.

"Padmè Naberrie Amidala, would you make me the happiest man in the Galaxy and marry me?"

"Oh gods Anakin..." she grabbed the hem of my shirt and gently pulled me up until I was standing in front of her. "Anakin I... I don't even know what to say. I..." she clenched her fingers for a moment, pausing her sentence. "Anakin, when I married you twelve years ago, even if it's not legal, I swore to stay with you 'till death do us part, and deep as you go, I'd follow you, because I love you. And this is the sweetest thing you could do so I really don't know how I could say now so... yes, I will marry you!"

And with that, I felt the lump dissolve and I could finally breathe normally. "Really?"

She hugged me tightly and nodded. "Yes, really!" then she kissed me. "And by the way, I'm pregnant"

* * *

_Ah! I did it! Took me weeks but this chapter is done! Wow, can you imagine that the proposal scene came up when last year I watched the musical episode of Grey's Anatomy when Sara Ramirez sang that amazing cover of "The Story"? Took me a year to get to the point of writing it but here it is. Hope you liked it. _

_Now, a little note: there's a huge earthquake swarm going on near the zone I live in and it's not nice. We just had a sixth big quake that shook my house even if the epicenter is getting away from this zone. It's not nice, at all. I admit I'm scared to death, add the fact that I've got university tests incoming... I don't have much time to write so... it may take quite some time before you see another chapter. Be patient, I'll be back! Until then, love ya all!_

_Oh, btw, couple of weeks ago a very nice girl asked me to translate Over The Hills And Far Away in French. In case you speak French and want to read it, go and make her happy. See ya!_


	36. So Close Together

**Chapter 36 – So Close Together**

"_By the way, I'm pregnant"_

Can you believe she dropped it like it was nothing?

I was left completely dumbstruck. You know the cliché scene of the guy that cannot breathe because he received a big news, either bad or good, that you always see in the movies, toward the ending? Well, it's not too cliché, I can tell that for sure. I had just managed to slip the ring on her finger and there she goes, blowing the news right in my face, even if she knew that I was worried as hell about it. That's mean.

I was devastated, in a good way. I went rigid for a long moment, my sight blurred, my breath got caught in between my nose and my lungs... well, the stuff you see in the movies.

Just like the first time. But this time... it was better.

It was really fantastic, I was really, really happy... and those words didn't actually scare me, I was happy.

No, more than that. Way more. The problem is that even after so many years, and I'm talking about fifteen years, not like two or three, fifteen... I can't decide which word can describe that feeling that I experienced in that very moment. That's the problem. Sometimes words fail me.

Well, quite often actually. I usually start babbling at that point, and that time I acted no different.

When I managed to gather my thoughts, literally reduced to a heap of ideas that I could barely understand, I pulled back from her, just enough to look straight into her eyes. "You're pregnant? You really are?"

She nodded. "Yep. Pregnant and healthy. A little anemic but perfectly fine."

"You sure? I mean, I know you just had a blood test but... is that definitive?" I was acting like an idiot, as always when under this kind of pressure.

Smiling, she rolled her eyes a little and sighed. "Yes, it's definitive. We'll have to wait eight months and then we'll have a baby."

"Oh gods..." was everything I could muster.

I was about to cry. No really, I was going to cry. I took a step back and took a deep breath, trying to concentrate. "Holy shit..."

Suddenly, her smile disappeared, replaced by a very worried look. "Anakin, are you alright?"

"What? Me? Oh I'm definitely alright it's just... holy flying fuck..."

Oh well, at that point I couldn't just hold back anymore. I literally jumped, high, and screamed like a... well, like when I won the Boonta Eve race. "I can't believe it we're having a baby!"

Yep, I screamed at the top of my lungs, like there was no tomorrow. And that gained a lot of attention from everyone in the room, because my voice echoed on the walls, like in a cave. And the news was now public domain. It wouldn't take long before everyone in there, at least those outside our small group of friends, would tell it to someone else, and the word would spread like oil in the water.

Do you think I cared? That was the least of my problems.

I simply grabbed her hand and pulled her towards me, then held her tightly while the little crowd literally screamed and yelled like they were supporters at the stadium. Don't ask me why.

Someone screamed "Congratulations!" and someone else "Hope it'll be a boy!" or stuff like that, I was just too happy to listen to those voices. There was only my future wife now.

Well, before a couple of nine year old kids head-butted my legs, and we risked to trip over on the floor. They were squealing so loud that their voices nearly pierced my ears. We looked down and their beaming faces were just... they were smiling like the first time they saw me. It's the only comparison I can make.

Hugging each leg, they literally clung to me as if I was a tree trunk they wanted to climb. "Hey hey kids don't cling like that!" I told them. "You'll pull down my pants!"

They giggled but instantly stood up straight, and Luke went to hug Padmè, soon followed by Leia. "We're having a brother!" they yelled.

"Or a sister!" added Padmè, ruffling their hair before kneeling in front of them. "It will take some time to know!"

They looked at each other, not really knowing what that meant. "It was just easier." said Leia then.

"That's sure. Are you happy?"

They nodded. "Of course we are!" replied Luke. "Leia, how long have we talked about how having a sibling would be awesome?"

I could almost hear her counting mentally. "Years." she stated. "We've been talking about that for years. At least since Luke had that dream about dad being out of prison!"

"Really?" I asked.

Leia nodded. "Yep. It just... came up one night before we went to bed and... I don't even remember who brought the matter up."

"Seems like you got what you wanted!"

At that point, our friends walked towards us. "So?" asked Aleha.

"So..." I started but I was interrupted.

"So we're getting married." intervened Padmè. "And I'm pregnant!"

Can you imagine their reactions? Aleha was happy as a clam. She jumped in the spot, startling Jax that was holding her by her waist. Darrick smiled and Obi-Wan hid a smirk behind his hand. "Congratulations!" he boasted.

"Yeah, congratulations!" continued Jax. "To both of you. After everything you've gone through to come and rescue me, you deserve a prize!"

"Oh and you call that a prize?" replied Obi-Wan. "I went through the same stuff, don't I deserve a prize too?"

"A new Padawan?" suggested Aleha.

He looked like he thought about it, he shrugged his shoulders. "Guess I can go with that!" he joked. "No seriously, congratulations! This time it's for real. And no punches to the face!"

"What does that mean?" asked Luke, a bit confused.

"Nothing." I replied. "Your Master and I had a little argument a couple of days ago."

"Your father was behaving like an idiot and the only thing that I managed to do was punching him. It worked, because he stopped being a jerk. For a while."

At that point, Padmè smiled. "You're fighting for nothing. One way or another, he'll act like a jerk at least once a day. I thought you got used to it!"

He chuckled. "Well, yes, I got used to it, but you know, I hoped that growing up he'd stop acting like that!"

She shook her head. "Obi-Wan, he's a jerk. He was born a jerk and he'll remain a jerk for the rest of his life. But he's my now future husband and the father of my kids, and I love him for being a jerk!"

"Oh..." gasped Aleha. "That's the cutest thing I've ever heard!"

Jax sighed. "Now I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever live up to her expectations! You've misled her!"

She nudged him with her elbow. "Shut up! And you've already exceeded every expectation I had about you. Feel better now?"

"Yes, definitely." he sighed. "I'm sorry, I've got self-esteem issues, I'll have to work them out!"

Obi-Wan shook his head. "Don't worry, you can work on that. Now... why don't we go back to our training? We've got kids to teach and you, Anakin, you have a lightsaber crystal to forge."

I nodded. "I need access to the workshop to do that though. And I had to sneak my way in tonight."

"Oh, no problem about that. I'll grant you all-access freedom to the whole base." said Padmè. "But... why do you need to forge another crystal?"

"Because the one I've used for the last twelve years is now on your ring. And if I want to do my job, I need a new one."

She rolled her eyes and sighed. "I told you, he's a jerk. Now go down and work on that thing, I've got things to do. And if anyone tells you anything about it or Antilles bothers you, send them up to me."

Well, no one said anything that morning. In fact, except for some random guy coming down for congratulations about the incoming baby or the wedding, no one disturbed me as I forged the new crystal. The process was so long and boring that I fell asleep a couple of times. I was totally worn out: the whole night awake coupled with the absolutely exhausting fight the day before, they had drained all the energy from me. And now that the adrenaline had gone away from my system, I was on the verge of falling asleep every passing second. And I risked to ruin the crystal a couple of times.

After a few hours in the workshop, I was almost dozing off when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Startled, I jumped on my seat and turned around. Dakk and Haron stood behind me, smiling. "Hey Anakin, we heard the news! Congratulations!" said Haron.

I stifled a deep yawn. "Thank you guys... hey, it's been a while, how are you doing?"

"Every thing's the same. You didn't stay away long enough for things to change. But apparently, you did change some things!"

I rubbed my face. "Believe me, it was only an accident."

"No, it was only a matter of time! We know what you did during lunch time, don't try to deny it. But we weren't referring only to the fact your having another kid!" joked Dakk.

"Yep, we were talking about the Jedi you brought here. We saw Master Kohr with him on the way to bed yesterday and she didn't really look the same. She was completely different."

"You would be too if after more than six years you saw the love of your life for the first time." I replied.

"Wow, really? That's Hilean's dad? I thought he was dead!"

I nodded. "She did too. But some time ago I had a dream, like the ones I had while we were on Dxun, and realized he was alive and well, hiding away from the Empire. We followed his trail and we found him."

"We know, Obi-Wan told us yesterday. It was a nice bedtime story! He told us about the Inquisitor too! And by the bruises on your face, he wasn't exaggerating!"

"Not a bit. I was beaten, badly. But I managed to get out with my head high. And a concussion."

"Guess it was worth it though."

I shook my head. "Believe me, when I was on Dagobah, beaten and confused, I didn't think it was being worth it, most of all when Padmè got sick and realized she could be pregnant. I spent a couple of days now knowing what was really going on and it was like going through all the possible hells of every religion and culture you can think of."

"Well, now you're back home and everything will be fine. But... by the way, how did you get in here? I thought you were forbidden to come in the workshop!"

"Well, theoretically, yes, I'm still suspended and I shouldn't come here, but I needed a new crystal for my lightsaber and the only place where I could forge it was here. Padmè gave me permission to enter here."

"I really hope you get access here soon. We miss your skills down here!"

"And I really hope I'll be granted access here soon too, but I'll have to undergo reconstructive surgery for an injured shoulder, I don't know when I'll be able to work."

"Don't worry Anakin!" said Haron. "Even if you're only yelling instructions and orders from a corner of the room, that's good enough for us. We work better with you around."

"Thank you guys. I really appreciate it."

"Alright, we've got to go and work. See ya soon!"

Sighing and grumbling, I managed to stay awake enough to finish the first part of the long process right before Padmè came up from the training grounds to call me for lunch. When she came down I was lazily polishing the warm crystal, trying my best to stay awake, and again I was caught off guard when she called my name, a few steps behind me.

"Woah, everything alright?" she asked. "That jump must have been at least three feet high!"

"Yeah, I'm fine..." I breathed out. "I'm just tired and I get distracted, that's all. You?"

"Perfectly fine, both of us, don't worry." she smiled. "Come, it's time for lunch, wanna come with us?"

I held back a yawn and nodded. "Sure... damn, I need a whole pitcher of coffee to stay awake." I said, standing up, a little uncertain on my legs.

"Why don't you take a nap before you go to the infirmary for your exam?"

"Eh, that wouldn't be a bad idea. I'm not really used to this anymore."

"You're tired. It's not like we've gone on vacation for the last three weeks, and you didn't sleep tonight. Come on, let's get something to eat and put you in bed for a couple of hours."

We went upstairs, joined the others and spent a very pleasant half an hour together. We were almost done, ready to gather the kids to take them back to the training ground for the rest of their day when we heard the door hiss open. But all of us Jedi had sensed something incoming, a very dark presence.

Reymus Antilles appeared in the doorframe, fuming with rage, literally. With large strides, he walked towards us.

I sighed. "Here comes the storm..." I murmured.

"Now I'm tired of this shit." snapped Aleha, way harsher than her hars tone. "Whatever he has to say, let me deal with him."

"I'm with you." added Lysveet. "From what Darrick told me, he deserves a nice slap."

"Count me in girls." said Padmè then. "We're all in this together."

I looked around and saw the amazement in Darrick's and Jax's eyes. I knew I had married a tough woman, but I had the feeling they didn't really know how tough their girls could be. And by how the things were turning, they were about to get a glimpse of that.

"Rosh!" he bellowed, furious. "I thought I had made myself clear last time!"

"'bout what?" I mumbled, not too sure about the outcome, even if the look in Padmè's eyes didn't leave room for much else except something nasty for him.

"About having illegal personal relationships in this base!" he was boiling, literally! "This has gone too far now, I have to do something about it!"

"About what, Reymus?" intervened Aleha. "What do you want to do?"

"Yeah, I'm curious." continued the hacker. "Now I really wonder what you intend to do."

"Oh Lysveet, I wonder too, considering that we're talking about something no one has the right to say a single word, except for them." replied the Jedi, a slight tone of disgust in her voice. "What do you want to do? Fire her from her role? Send him on Yavin IV in exile?"

"Bad idea." said Padmè. "That would be a terrible idea. He doesn't like the place. If he's insufferable here, at least for your judgement, what do you think he'll do there?"

And I thought that at some point I would have to argue with him myself, but apparently I could just lay back and watch the show. Those three could eat him for breakfast any time, with their eyes closed and with a hand tied behind their back.

"Senator please don't..."

"Don't what, Reymus?" asked Aleha, again. "She's into this just like him. But I get it, you can't touch her so you bully him, I see that!" she was furious too, maybe more than he was, actually. I glanced at Jax and he was a little taken aback by how heated her words were.

"You've been acting like an idiot for months now," Padmè continued. "and not only towards him but towards every Jedi here, denying them some basic things that I myself had to approve because you refused to even give them the money that had been allocated for their needs when they needed it... and for what? Because you can't control them?"

"Senator, please, it's not like..."

Padmè then stood up and faced him, and even if he physically towered her since he was at least a foot taller than her, in that moment he looked like a cub ready to be chastised by his mother, right after he was caught doing something she had deemed forbidden. It was a marvelous show by itself, believe me.

"It's exactly like this. Up to now I haven't said anything because it's between you and them, but they've been too soft on you, they let it slide for too long. What you did to him last time was totally out of mind, it didn't make sense and now you want to do the same. That's envy Reymus, nothing else. You're taking advantage of your position now. And it's time that I do something, as the highest ranking member of the Alliance living in this base. You need to stop this. Yes, what you've heard is true, I'm pregnant. Yes, we're together and nothing will change, no matter what you'll do or say. Yes, I'm going to eat you alive if you try anything idiotic again. Now, go away before I get angry. And if you try to oppress any of them, for any reason, or deny those kids what they need, I swear you're going to spend some time in jail. And I have friends to back me up, if I ever have to take action against you." she stopped for a moment. "Come on guys, we're done here."

He was speechless. Completely at loss of words. He didn't really know how to reply to that.

We stood up and followed her, but we were halfway to the door when she stopped and turned towards him. "Oh, by the way. I thought you should knew this: this baby, it's not a Rosh. It's a Skywalker!"

Boom.

Just like that, as if it was nothing.

I don't know who was more stunned, if me or Antilles. But by the look on his face, it was clear that he was more than stunned, he was shocked.

Still sporting a wicked grin on her face, Padmè turned around and walked towards the door. Before I followed her, I took the pleasure and the satisfaction of finally give him the finger. "See you soon, Colonel." I wanted to say _Fuck off Colonel_ but he was still in charge. No matter my rank, that would have been considered a major offence to a ranking officer and that meant a fine, a punishment or something like that. Not my thing.

He swallowed hard and blinked, before he managed to mutter a reply. "Yes Sir..."

He didn't say anything else. Nothing. And he didn't even say that in full voice, it was barely a whisper.

I couldn't be any happier in that moment. For real.

In the end everything had gone for the best and in a way or another. Even if it wasn't exactly like I had planned to come out of the closet and reveal my real identity, at least to him, but hey, someone else had done the job for me!

You can imagine that right in that moment, except for the imminent sequence of medical tests in the span of a couple of hours, I felt like I had absolutely nothing to worry about. I was happy, I was free, people around me were totally happy themselves... what more could I have asked for?

Nothing, I suppose.

"Have you seen the look on his face?" asked Darrick. "By the Force, it was priceless, I wish I had a camera because that was absolutely amazing! Padmè, really, thank you for everything. Not only it was awesome, it was also the best thing someone could have done for those kids!"

"I've got a couple of them in the bunch, and one incoming, I guess I had to do something." she replied. "And now I have a fiancee slash former illegitimate husband to take care of. He's exhausted and Janu is waiting for him this afternoon. I want him to sleep for a while, or he'll be a zombie until tonight."

"You want us to keep the twins with us tonight?" asked Jax.

She shrugged her shoulders. "Don't worry, they can sleep with their friends. They love when we allow them to sleep with them!"

"In that case, go to sleep Anakin." snapped Jax. "You need all the energy you can gather."

I shook my head. "Alright, I'm gonna sleep for a couple of hours. Before I let Janu beat me for all the work he'll have to do with my shoulder."

"Oh well, wanna hang out tonight after dinner? You know, something to drink, just to celebrate." asked Darrick.

Padmè looked up at me, then nodded. "Yeah, sure. Where?"

"I was thinking about something quiet. I mean, we put the kids in their beds and maybe we can use one of the empty apartments. There's one big enough that could do!"

"In that case, we can decide this evening." interjected Obi-Wan. "Now let's allow Anakin to get some rest, he's about to fall asleep right here!"

So I slept for two hours. I would have slept for at least twenty more. It's not like I hadn't slept at all in the last few days, it was the quality of the little sleep that sucked. When I woke up, with Padmè pulling my hair away from my face, I was so deeply asleep that it took me ten good minutes under the cold spray of the shower to wake up. When I came out of the bathroom, clothed but with my hair still dripping wet, Padmè pushed a travel mug filled with freshly brewed coffee.

"Hey, let me at least put my shoes on!"

"They're beside the door. Come on, we're already late!" she promptly replied.

"Five minutes, come on Janu won't be angry!"

"But I hate being late. In every sense of the word. Let's get moving."

Less than ten minutes later we were in the infirmary. There was a bit of fuss in the waiting room, there had been an explosion in the developing laboratory and there were some injured workers, but none of them seemed to be in serious danger.

"Told ya, we could have waited."

"Well, we're here at least. We'll wait, don't worry."

"I could have slept a couple of minutes more." I groaned, sitting down rather stiffly on a rather uncomfortable chair.

"You can doze off here if you want. I've got some work to do from here." and she picked a datapad from her pocket and turned it on. "How's your shoulder?"

"Not too bad. I mean, it hurts a little, but the less I move it, the better I feel. The problem is that I feel a little rigid here." I pointed at the tendons behind neck and shoulder on her back, to show her the exact location. "But I think it's the inflammation."

"Anyway, we'll know in a moment. Don't worry, you'll have it fixed. It won't be hard."

"I just hope I'll finish the physical therapy before this one is born." I murmured circling her waist with my healthy arm.

"Don't worry. You'll be alright. Janu will work his wonders again."

"Don't think I'll do it alone." his voice echoed in the now empty waiting room, and it slightly startled me. "Come on Kid, I've dealt with all the causalities of the explosion, I can take care of you."

"Any victims?" I asked.

"Nope. Scrapes and bruises. A nasty cut on a forehead. Nothing too bad, the others can take care of them. Come, let's get over with it and schedule your surgery."

"How long will it take to heal?" asked Padmè.

"Not too long. Usually physical therapy can begin about a month after the surgery, but we'll have get a better idea of what we're dealing with once we'll have all the images."

He pushed me inside a room. "Here, take off your shirt and lay there. Padmè, please, get out of here and turn left. There's a door, go in and settle down. You shouldn't stay here with all these radiations."

She nodded and left at once. "Thanks." I said.

"For what?"

"Taking care of her." I sat on the movable bed and followed his instructions.

"No need to thank me. Besides, I kind of have a sweet spot for your family. I already fixed your wife _problem_. Now it's time to fix yours. Lay down and stay still. The stretcher will move up and down a couple of times and you'll see a bright light. Close your eyes or you'll be temporary blinded. Can you do that?"

Well, it wasn't really hard. "I think I can."

"Good. Now Kid, let's see you from the inside."

He went out the room and joined Padmè in the control room. About a minute later, the machine started moving. It was incredibly silent, everything considered. As suggested, I closed my eyes as soon as I saw the light. I didn't move a muscle, as ordered, and patiently waited for the machine to be over. A couple of passage beneath the light later the machine stopped and through the intercom Janu told me I could get up.

I was wearing my t-shirt when he came back into the room. "Alright, next exam. We need to go to another room. Are you wearing anything metallic?"

"Nope, I took off my ring before we started. No belts or stuff like that. I'm clean."

"Good. Come, it won't take long."

Another run in a strange-looking machinery like the other one and we were done. And so was the diagnosis.

"Definitely a SLAP tear. We'll have to work quite a lot on your tendons and ligaments but once physical therapy you'll be good as new. Maybe prone to further injuries, but I think we can find a way to fix that problem."

"How?" I asked.

"There are procedures to reinforce this kind of tissue, but there are also orthopedic devices designed to protect injured joints from other accidents. They're useful, comfortable and reliable, but they're not cheap. You wear them during the day and they guide the joint while moving, in the right position. That could work for you, but we'll see what we can do when we operate."

"And exactly, when do you want to operate on him?" asked Padmè.

"I'll have to ask doctor Koros. He'll need an orthopedic surgeon, and of course I'm not one of them. She told me that I could call her anytime we needed her for any kind of surgery regarding her field. I'll call her now and ask her when she can come."

And in less than five minutes he had everything organized. A quick intercom call to Lysveet and she had a safe line straight to Dr. Koros private line and Janu managed to set everything.

"Are you busy tomorrow afternoon?" he asked.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Don't think so. Why?"

"Because Marty wants to do a pre-op test, to determine the degree of the injury, so she can perform the surgery the next morning. Three days of admission, two weeks of total rest and then you can start physical therapy. You OK with that?"

"Sure. Perfect. I was hoping to end the process before the end of the pregnancy."

He smiled. "That's why I decided to act as soon as I could. She's gonna need all your help. The last term can become a living hell!"

Padmè grabbed my hand and held it tight. "Don't worry, he's just trying to scare you. It's tough, but not a living hell, come on!"

"Padmè, I don't want to sound like a see only the bad side of things but... You're not twentyseven anymore. Things can get nasty. I don't mean you're old, I swear that's not my intention, but pregnancy at your age can develop some problems. I told you this morning, I want to keep a close eye on you."

"What kind of problems?" I asked. I was getting worried.

"Nothing that can't monitored, diagnosed and taken care of. As long as we pay attention." he said, declaring the conversation closed. "Now go, spend some time with your kids, you won't be able to take care of them for quite a while, so go and stay with them."

That wasn't over. At all. I wanted to know what to expect, every detail, but that wasn't the right moment. We followed his instructions and went back to the training area. For once, Padmè was completely free of official business and she remained with us at the gym, and when some of the kids got tired of all the physical activity she helped Aleha with one of the history lesson.

I fell asleep in the corner of the room and even considering my injury, the younger kids decided it was a good idea to wake me up by jumping over me, throwing me off the chair. "Woah kids!" I shouted when I realized what was going on. "Get off me!"

"Wake up Master Skywalker!" they shouted. "Wake up!"

I was submerged with kids. Not that I minded but... it wasn't really the best way to wake up from a nap. "I'm up! I'm awake! What do you wanna do?"

"Time for dinner!" squealed a little girl pulling my sleeve to make me stand up. "Come on Master Skywalker!"

How could I say no to four year old girl with shiny blue eyes?

We had to fight a little to make them stay calm during dinner, not to mention putting them into their beds. The youngest ones went to bed almost immediately after dinner, while the older ones, like Luke and Leia did some home more homework, then straight to bed around ten, maybe eleven if they behaved good. That night, the toddlers were all fussy and the others were overexcited. Sometimes it happened, and it made our job of adoptive parents quite hard.

We struggled a little bit but in the end everyone was tucked into bed, and Ahsoka volunteered to stay with the others and put them to bed. The Padwans loved her but they were sort of afraid of her and usually they obejed her and since she had a backlog of paperwork regarding the flight course she could take care of them while working. And helping them doing their homework.

"Are you sure you want to stay here?" asked Obi-Wan. "We can always take a rain check and go out tomorrow!"

"Don't worry. I have to work anyway, whether you go out or not. Go and have fun even for me, but take Skyguy away from alcohol, he can't really handle it."

"Oh thank you Snips for the support! Come on, go and do the babysitter!"

"Hey Skyguy, don't push it! Don't worry, I'll take care of your kids. Now go, before I change idea and I leave you to deal with twenty two kids. And don't get too drunk!"

"We don't have enough booze Ahsoka!" replied Darrick. "No need to worry about it. And thanks for taking care of them!"

"Next time I'll go out drinking and you'll stay here with them! Go now, or I'll kick you out!"

And not half an hour later, we were all merrily sitting around the table, some with a drink and some steadfastly willing to remain sober until the end of the night. In the beginning I was part of the second group but then Padmè grabbed one of the beer bottles on the table and placed it in front of me with a loud bang.

"Drink. Don't hold back on my account." she said, quite bluntly.

"You sure?"

"Yep. Just because I'm pregnant and I can't drink doesn't mean that my soon-to-be husband must stay completely sober!"

"Oh by the way!" started Jax. "Congratulations, really, for everything."

"I never understood why people congratulate for pregnancies." interjected Lysveet. "I mean... two people had sex. And the biological meaning of sex happened. What's the big deal?"

"You know, I never understood it myself." replied Padmè. "You're right, we just have sex and puff, I'm pregnant. No need for congratulations. We had fun, a lot of fun and everything, but it's not really something that needs congratulations."

"Getting through labor deserves congratulations." stated Aleha. "Really, getting pregnant is the easy and fun part. It's the rest that needs compliments."

"You make it look like men only provide part of the genes and nothing else." said her brother, almost trying to defend our category.

"Well, it's not that, physically, you do much more than that!" she told him. "We carry the baby, we deal with all the problems, from morning sickness to the splitting back pains by the end of the term. And most of all we go through the excruciating pain and the terror of childbirth. You can support us, but all the rest, that's on us."

"I've not even been that supportive last time..." I murmured.

"You had other things in mind." responded Obi-Wan. "I don't think she blames you for that."

And Padmè nodded. "Nope. And in the end I had a rather easy pregnancy, not like Aleha."

"It's because I was emotionally wrecked. I didn't really react well. And excuse me but I had all the rights to be a little upset, come on! I have sex for the first time in my life and I end up knocked up! Wow, really!"

"That was really bad luck." said Darrick.

"But it turned out really well in the end!" exclamied Jax.

"Says newbie dad that has known his daughter for two days. I bet it makes you feel like a real man, knocking up your woman the first time you have sex with her!" she poked him.

"The first time I had sex with anyone except my hand actually. And yes, I admit it, I don't mind it at all!"

The little crowd bursted in laughs. That nigth was turning out just like I had expected it, and even if was a little tired, it was just what I needed. We were having fun, we were being carefree for a while even if the Galaxy twisted and turned to get out of the Empire grasp. We just needed it.

There was a short moment of silence during which I opened another bottle of beer and downed half of its content. I was kind of thirsty, there was too much salt in the dish they served at dinner and the results arrived just now.

I noticed a strange, happy smile on Obi-Wan's face. He was leaning heavily on his chair, running his fingers on the rim of his glass. The slow, continuous motion twisted the whiskey inside, and the dark liquid acted like a prism with the bright white light, making some wonderful reflections on the table top. He looked serene, at peace, more than before.

"What's up Master?" I asked.

"What?" he was a little startled by my question.

"What's running through your mind?"

He took a deep breath and emptied the glass in front of him. "Just something that once my Master told me." he said. "I was looking at all of you now, so happy and in love and I now wonder what the hell those who wrote the Code were thinking when they forbid love. Love is not a switch, you can't just stop loving someone, once you've fallen for him or her. Qui Gon was never one to follow rules and he was always ready to bring most of them into question and this was one of his favourite. We spent full nights discussing this one, and now that I've seen you like this, I realize that he was right. You can't stop love. He said it's like trying to stop the Force. You can't do that."

"It took me a while to get to the same conclusion." said Jax. "After what happened between us..." and he gestured to Aleha, nestled at his side, holding his hand. "I really felt like I wasn't worth it anymore. I had always followed the rules, suppressed my feelings and everything, but at that point I just couldn't take it anymore. And afterwards, I didn't feel like it was right."

"Hope you changed your idea..." replied Padmè.

"Oh yes, definitely! And you two helped me understand that I was very, very wrong about it. I lost six years thinking I was the lowest human being in the Galaxy and it took me less than an hour to realize how wrong I was. How wrong were those who taught me that love was wrong."

"You know... years ago, many years ago because I was still a Padawan, Qui Gon and I were travelling around, I don't even remember where we were having something to drink in a bar not too far away from a spaceport and from outside the window we saw a young couple getting ready to leave the planet probably. When he saw them, he told me that sometimes you can see a couple so close together that through the Force it gets hard to distinguish which one is which because bits of them disappear into a space that forms between them. And it's only theirs. It's their own little secret world, a place no one else can see. And right now I can see that he was right. There's something new here, something that was missing before we left to go looking for Jax. Now it looks like everyone of us has found his or her peace. The quiet moment we all needed. And now look at you: everything changed. In how long? Less than a month."

"I hope everything changed for the good though." I said then. I knew he was right, but with everything I went through, I wasn't really sure that changing was a good thing for me.

"Change is always good, no matter what." said Padmè. "Change makes us move on from our positions, it makes us grow up. Sometimes it's not easy to deal with it, but it's always good. I learned it on my skin."

Aleha nodded. "Guess you're right. But I like what Obi-Wan said. It makes me hope that someday we will be able to live our lives in peace and free, without hiding like we're doing now. I don't want my daughter to grow up like this, in this world."

"We'll change all of this. This has happened before, no Sith Empire ever lasted long." stated Obi-Wan. "The Jedi have been beaten before, and we've always changed that. We will rise again, from the ashes Vader and Sidious left behind them. If we stay together, if we work together, this will end. We can make it, we just have to be patient."

"Master Kenobi is right." said Jax. "I've read enough of the story of the Order to know what he's right. We have to be patient and if we make it work, one day people will be free again."

"Hey, are you sure you're alright?" I asked him. "Two days ago you didn't even want to come here and now you talk like you've founded the Alliance!"

He smiled and looked at Aleha, sitting beside him, and hugged her tight. "I guess I've found my secret world."

At that point Lysveet, who had been slightly silent all night, grabbed the bottle of whiskey and refilled Darrick's glass. "Guess this deserves a toast." she took care of refilling all our glasses and raised her own. "To mistakes, outcasts and secret worlds!"

We raised our glass and Darrick added: "And to an Empire in ashes!"

* * *

_And this one is done too. Next chapter will be a challange, becase I'll probably write something I've tried to write for years but never really liked. The rating could go up a notch, but nothing too graphic (and with the Great M-Rated Fanfiction Purge, as I call it, going on I don't really want to piss anyone off enough to have my story reported for abuse. Nope, thank you) and I'll probably keep it on a sentimental level more than the physical thing, but I still have to write it and let a more skilled friend beta-read it before posting so it might take a while._

_Also, next week is going to be a little busy and I won't have much time to write. Add that in three weeks I'm leaving for Metal Camp and next Monday (not tomorrow, the next one) I'll be in Verona for the Duran Duran concert, yep, my writing time will be definitely cut down... so... it will take a while. Sorry for the inconvenience but the story is almost over therefor there won't be much left to write._

_Anyway, hope you liked it and see ya next time!_


	37. Sweeter Than Heaven Hotter Than Hell

_As announced, I did it. Required some work, some beta reading, for which I deeply thank Laura and Alessandra, and some encouragement from both of them to post this chapter as it is now. I'm still not so convinced about the "core" of the chapter but hey, they told me it was OK so... here it is. It's nothing nasty nor graphic, I don't think I have to raise the rating but if you think I have to do that, just say it and I'll proceed. Anyway, here we go. Please, be merciless with the reviews._

_Ehm, just a moment: try to listen and Drumming Song by Florence And The Machine when you read the first part of this chapter. You won't regret it._

* * *

**Chapter 37 - Sweeter Than Heaven Hotter Than Hell**

Alright, I admit that, once we decided to call it a night, I was a little high.

Not drunk-high, I was far away from not being able to control my movements and my words, my sight wasn't hazed or anything like that. I could walk straight, my eyes didn't cross anytime I moved my head... I was pretty much fine.

I was just... happy-high.

After five bottles of beer I realized I was walking on razor's edge with drunkness, so I stopped and let the effects of the alcohol slowly fade away while we talked, laughed and exchanged stories of our pasts and hope for our future.

Finally we had enough time to give a detailed account of the weeks we'd been away from the base, even the most gruesome and hurtful tiny bit wasn't left out. And when we were over with our tale, it was time for Jax to fill some of the holes, like why he had come to fight against Vader and why he was travelling all around that sector trying to reach Ruusan.

"Why I fought I against Vader? Because I was stupid enough to get caught with the Whiplash and act like their spy. I tried to infiltrate in one of their administrative buildings and he was there, as if he was expecting me. He wanted this..." he took a satchel out of his pocket and threw it on the tabel. "He wanted the crystal Anakin, the one you gave me years ago."

"I know. I saw it in one of my dreams. The first one I think. Do you know why he wanted it?"

"Yep. Your Master here severed three of his limbs, both hands included. He's not capable of throwing Force Lightening and apparently he really wants to do so, he sorts of wants to copy his Master, I don't really know if it's about the actual technique or only because he's envious, but that's why he's looking for all the pyronium he knows about."

"Seems like you were right Anakin." said Obi-Wan then.

"You had a dream about that?"

"It was mostly intuition. No, better, a wild guess. I was more concentrated about following you than why Vader wanted a small nugget of metal. By the way, how did you overcome him?"

"Severed his left leg, the only whole limb he had left!"

"Well, it's one of the few methods that actually work to stop someone who fights with a lightsaber."

"Oh believe me, I know that all too well!" I murmured.

"Serves you well, you've learned something that day."

"Yep. Sith Lords cheat. Those fuckers cheat and muddle things up. They do anything they can and even more in order to win a fight. I've got scars to prove it."

"Those scars give you a lot of charm. They give you that dark edgy look that makes you incredibly sexy." said Padmè.

"You should have seen him when he was sixteen, when Ferus tormented him. That edgy look sometimes came up even then. Without the scars. And I tell you, he was cute, really, really cute! The only problem with Padawans is the haircut. Girls don't have to follow the rule and cut their hair like that, but all the boys, with that awful ponytail, they just looked ridiculous!"

"I know. I married him when he was twenty. He had that ponytail for ten months more before he was knighted. But I tell you, there were moments when that tail and that braid were useful!" she confessed, a wicked grin lit her face as she spoke.

While everyone else laughed, Obi-Wan hid his face behind his hands and leaned against the table. "I didn't really want to know that..."

"Just one more detail about our sex life that you shouldn't know."

"I could write a book about that..." he groaned. "No really, am I the only one in this room that never had sex with anyone?" he asked.

We all looked at him and laughed. "I really hope that was rethorical!" snapped Lysveet. "Because... you can't really think anyone here's a virgin."

Padmè giggled, squirming a little against my side. "By the way, I really hope I didn't interrupt anything the other day."

"Just the third round, don't worry." replied the hacker. "After we closed the call, we finished what we started."

"I'm really, really sorry about that. When I realized that I had called you in the middle of something I felt so bad..."

"Yeah, we've got some experience in the field." I added.

"You have some experience in many more things actually. You've seen how cramped was the space in the toilet of the ship." he asked and Darrick nodded. "Well, I don't really know how they did, but I swear they managed to have sex in there!"

Darrick made a strange face. "Wow... no really... wow! What the hell that place is cramped even for only one person! I tried that myself when I inspected the ship!"

"Hey, that was easy. Helping him getting out of his bloody clothes, definitely harder!" replied Padmè. "Sex doesn't require much room. But taking care of an injured man? Totally different"

"Takes a lot more space." added Lysveet. "Guys, it's getting late. Why don't we call it a night?"

Aleha glanced down at her wrist watch. "Wow, it's really late. I should go and check on the kids too."

"Ahsoka didn't call for backups, they're fine, don't worry about it." said her brother. "That girl is great with the kids, they never make a fuss when she's in charge."

"Which is rare." I said. "They really need some more space. Some fresh air... they can't grow up in an underground base. Being a slave is almost better than this!"

"I can organize something. We have space at the Lake Retreat, we can take them there for a couple of weeks." proposed Padmè.

"Do you really think we'll be able to control them?"

She nodded. "Sure. If we all go there, there won't be a problem. Also, if we need backup, there's my family. Which means four more adults and two very responsible teenagers. But I dare to say that once they see the place they'll simply fall in love with it and obey every order we give them."

"What makes you so sure about that?" asked Jax. "You've seen them this evening! They can be a handful when they want, from what I saw."

"Just let them set foot on the private beach and tell them that we'll allow them to swim if they behave. They'll be so sweet and calm you'll get diabetes!"

"Many of them don't know how to swim." added Aleha. "I've always wanted to teach them but I never had the chance."

"We'll do it there." I interjected. "I've already taught Luke and Leia, I can teach them too. Just wait until I have the doctor's permission after the surgery."

"Then I think it's settled." stated Obi-Wan. "Once you have recovered enough to have freedom of movement we'll leave. How long will it take?"

"I won't know until they'll open." I glanced down at my own watch. Thirty past midnight. "Tomorrow. But I have an appointment with Dr. Koros later today, so she can perform some more tests."

"Considering the way she fixed your leg, she'll do wonders on your shoulder." he replied. "Come on, let's get to bed. I still have to catch up with the lost hours of sleep of the past few weeks. Let's call it a night and get out of here before I finish that bottle of mighty fine whiskey. Where the hell did you find that? I thought the Empire had put a hold on productions of spirits!" he asked Darrick.

The youger Jedi chuckled. "I didn't buy it. I brewed it. It's the second batch. The first one was merely a bottle I used as a test, but this one is the real deal. Took me a while, but all those empty rooms downstairs were just calling the alcohol smuggler that lives deeps inside me. And that's the result."

"You took the dust off the old family business didn't you?" asked his sister, standing up and stretching a little. "I thought you had abandoned your pursuit of Uncle Garion's illegal distillery?"

"No wait a second, you're related to Garion Kohr? The best moonshiner of the Galaxy?" asked Jax, totally blown away by the news. "I've drank tons of his stuff in the past few years!"

"He's our paternal uncle. And before you ask how we got to know him even if Padawans are forbid to keep contact with family, it's time to confess that we actually did keep contact with mom and dad. And later with uncle Garion." stated Aleha. "And he kept us hidden for a couple of months, when the Purge was at its worst."

"And since mom and dad didn't really want to keep up with his business, he passed the recipe to me. This is actually the first time I try on large scale, but I have forty more bottles downstairs, ready to be opened. But that's for another night. Let's get out of here. It's bed time even for us adults."

"Right, right, someone here is a little hasty."

Obi-Wan literally shoved us out of the empty apartment and closed the door behind us. He locked the door with the proper code and took part of the glasses and some of the empty bottles from Aleha. "Leave the rest by my door. I'll take care of it. You go now."

A quick goodnight and everyone was off to their room. Darrick and Lysveet quickly walked to the lift and were off to the last level of the base, where she still lived. Obi-Wan hurried down the corridor to his room and Jax literally pushed Aleha inside their new apartment, the Force only knows to do what.

Well, not only the Force. I knew it all too well, and so did Padmè, but... you know... privacy and everything...

And I was convinced that I was heading for a whole night of fitful sleep, maybe I could stay in bed till late morning and a nice relaxing day before the day of the surgery.

I was so damn wrong...

I had just closed and locked the door behind me when, right when I turned around, Padmè literally jumped over me, pushing me against the metal door and kissed me hard.

A bit dumbstruck by her quickness, I found myself not knowing what to do for a moment and having to lean heavily on the door behind me to stand and resist her assault, but when she grabbed the hem of my shirt and pulled herself up, wrapping her legs around my waist, suddenly something kicked in my mind and I went totally out of my mind. For the next minutes, my brain just shut off, going completely blank.

I didn't know what was going on with her, but I can assure you, I know what was going on with me. The alcohol-induced altered state of mind I was in made me a little slow but catching up was easy. Within a couple of seconds I was horny as hell. More than I had been in a long while. It felt like all the worry and the hurt that had filled the past few days had turned into pure adrenaline. And we had to vent it out, in a way or another.

Sex was our favourite.

I wrapped my arms around her and held her against me while I blindly walked towards our bedroom, crossing the apartment. I bumped in the table and she laughed softly, nibbling at my lower lip with her teeth. I groaned loudly and bit back, maybe a little harder than her. She moaned into my mouth and I swear all I wanted was to take off her clothes as fast as I could and fuck her until she couldn't stand up straight anymore but when I hit the bed with my knees something clicked and I realized that I couldn't just act like everything was normal, just like before we left the base.

I turned around and fell on the mattress, dragging her down with me, paying a little more attention than usual. "Padmè, wait a sec..." I whispered. "Are you sure?"

Frowning, she leaned against her forearms and looked down at me. "About what?"

"This... I mean... can you even..."

"Have sex? Gods Anakin, we had sex the other day and I was already pregnant, of course I can! We can, why do you worry?."

Still, I wasn't really convinced. I wasn't entirely sober, that meant that I processed information a lot slower than usual, but I was also not sure about what we could or could not do. Well, what she could do or not. And I had the feeling she wanted, at least in a twisted way, to please me. I was completely wrong, but, you know... Alcohol... I've never been the smartest guy in the Galaxy when inebriated. To be honest, I'm not the smartest guy in the Galaxy not even when I'm sober so... you do the math.

"Padmè, please, you don't have to do this just for me, lying like that, about how you feel!"

Biting her lower lip, she stared down at me for a long moment. "Anakin... let me tell you a couple of things. First of all, I'm horny. I've been horny all day and all I've wanted to do since you've given me that engagement ring was to put the kids in bed to have you all for myself for a couple of hours. Therefor, I'm not lying. And second, mark these words because it's one of the best kept secret of the Galaxy and I won't repeat it ever again, lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off, we lie all the time, in any situation, and we like it. So don't ask me not to lie. I will never stop it. Clear?"

I nodded, barely moving. The way she spoke was so sexy and enthralling that suddenly my pants were even more unbearably tight at the crotch.

"Clear..." I whispered, running my hands on her sides, lifting the hem of her blouse and pushing it above her head. She wriggled herself out of it and I threw it somewhere in the room.

"Good. Now take off your pants and do your job, stud."

And she pulled my shirt open, regardless of the buttons that snapped out of place and flew all over the bedroom. At that point I didn't really could hold back anymore. Holding her by her hips, I twisted us so she was laying on her back beneath me. I didn't answer of my actions anymore.

In less than ten seconds my shirt and t-shrit beneath were discarded and I was working on her tight pants, while she fought with my belt. Suddenly, all the weariness and the pain in my shoulder were forgotten, it was just us. The two of us. Nothing else. No one else.

Us.

Not Anakin and Padmè, two separated entities.

Just us, like a single being, a single "sound" in the Force.

It ended fast. It was quick and rough. No unnecessary tenderness, not even a hint of foreplay. There are occasions when neither are needed. The urgency and the raw need pulsing through our veins were the only things necessary for us.

But as clothes came off and the atmosphere heated, in the back of my mind (the only part that still worked coherently) I realized there was something different in the air. Something different in me. What had happened some days before had changed me and had changed my perception of the Force.

And that drum was back, pounding like there was no tomorrow. And the more she writhed and moaned in ecstasy the more it echoed loudly, like a crescendo that only I could hear. The only listener to such an almighty sound that dampened everything else. All I could feel, hear, taste and see was my wife and nothing else.

And I knew for sure then, as I rolled off of her, with both of us completely spent and out of breath, that the way I perceived the Force had changed forever.

"Holy shit..." I groaned, my voice hoarse and cracked. "That was good..."

"You can say that... wow..." she tood a deep breath and closed her eyes, completely relaxed against the mattress, her fingers still curled around the bedsheets. "I definitely feel better now."

I pushed a damp strand of hair away from my eyes and turned towards her. "You look better too..."

"Yeah... all sweaty and blushing? Don't think so but thank you." she shivered. "Damn... I don't think I'll be able to walk for a while."

"That was actually my goal, I admit it. Hope I didn't exaggerate."

"Nope. Give me a breather and I'm up for round two!"

"Padmè, I'm not twenty anymore... I think I need something more than a breather!"

She suffocated a loud laugh. "Oh come on, you're barely 32!"

"Still, I'm not that young anymore. And I'm exhausted!"

"Alright, I'll give you that. Round two can be postponed to the morning."

"Thank you. I really appreciate that. By the Force I can't move... My back feels as rigid as a wood log!"

Slowly, she snuggled closer and kissed me. "Glad to know we're in the same conditions. I missed this..."

"Me too..." I murmured circling her shoulders and pulling her towards me. "But it feels strange though... how can we miss something we never really had?"

I felt her smile against my shoulder. "It's the idea, I think. Having an idea of something you want makes you long for it. Or at least I think so."

"And I think you're right. Damn, this is perfection... I just wish this noise would go away."

She raised her head and looked up at me. "What noise?"

"It's in my head. It's... it's the Force actually. Something has changed after Dagobah. I've started... perceiving the Force in a totally different way. Or maybe I just feel different about it. It's like a drumming... a continuous pounding in my head like... like a wardrum. And the more the Force whirlwinds and moves around me the clearer I hear it. And believe me, now I hear it very, very clearly."

"How clear?"

"As if there was a drum right beside my hears. I heart it so clear only when I fought against Dalan."

"Must be very strong then..."

"Yep. Not that I mind but it's a little distracting. By the way, are you alright?"

"I'm perfect. And if you're worried about the baby, there's no need, it's fine too. We're both OK. And if you're going to play the part of the over-worried dad for all the duration of this pregnancy I swear that I'm gonna hit you, one day or another."

"You really don't like when people worry about you, do you?"

She shook her head. "Not when I'm perfectly fine and capable of taking care of myself. I'm sorry, I'm too independent to let others take care of me when I'm fine. I don't mind some spoiling from time to time, but not over-protectiveness."

"Then I'll try to control myself. But since you're OK with some spoiling, let me do at least that. You know, breakfast in bed, making sure the kids will do their home work... all that stuff. Alright?"

"Alright. I can take that. But... listen, the other day you offered me answers. How about we use this time for those?"

Not exactly my plan but if it made her happy... "Yeah, sure. Shoot!"

"What happened when you were in prison? From the beginning, I want to know everything."

"From the beginning? Alright. First of all I was arrested. The cuffed me and took me to a transport. I was left alone in the cargo hold for some hours. When they dragged me off the ship, they covered my head with a hood, which they took off only when the entrance door was closed behind us. My personal belongings were catalogued and put into a cardboard box in a deposit, they took all my data then deleted it from every public registry of the Galaxy, literally wiping me away from it, asked some questions and proceeded with an exam to verify that I was in good health. They gave me a couple of uniforms and some towels and pushed me into my cell."

"How was that?"

I closed my eyes and tried to remind how the cell was furnished. "Well, it wasn't big. It was rectangular, with a small window in a corner. There was a cot on the opposite wall, a sink, the toilet and a shower faucet. All the plumbing was exposed, and I used to excercise a little when I was in shape."

I paused for a second. "They left me there all the time. I wasn't allowed to go out, I wasn't allowed to speak with the other prisoners or the guards. When Order 66 was given, I felt the strong echo through the Force. It was strong enough to make me collapse on the right spot I was standing. Next day, somehow I got connected with Vader when he burned up on Mustafar."

"What? How?" she was so upset!

"Don't know. Sometimes the Force plays some nasty tricks on us. The torture sessions started about a month later."

"What did they do to you?"

"At first it was mainly a short, powerful beat up. When I lost consciousness they took me back in my cell and left me there to heal. And start again within weeks. Sometimes they broke a bone and they took me to the infirmary, which gave me some relief because for at least a week I was left alone and got better food. A couple of years later they started with the stress torture, waterboarding and stuff like that. Didn't work either. It only made me stronger."

"Why don't you have scars on your face?"

"Apparently, Sidious didn't want to have another scarred apprentice like Vader. And most of all he didn't want me to be a demented vegetable because they damaged my brain! They could brake every bone from the neck down except for the spine. And they broke nearly everything they could!"

"How did you get out?"

"One day Vader came to me asking for information about Obi-Wan. I realized that, if he had come to the point of asking me about him, after nearly seven years, you were pretty much safe and sound, and he couldn't really find you. I started tracking all the clones in there, to make a mental map of the prison, then faked my death. I pretended to hang myself and then killed a clone to take his place. With the uniform and the helmet they couldn't recognize me. I stole a speeder, drove to the nearest city, stole an Imperial ship and went straight to Coruscant. That's where I found the letter. You know the rest of the story."

She traced the thin line of the surgical scar on my side with her fingertips. I barely held back a shiver of pleasure that came from the contact. "I wish I could turn back time and stop this, right at the beginning."

"Probably we would have never met." I told her.

"Don't think so. I've been around you Jedi long enough to understand that some things are meant to happen. Whether we want it or not, they happen. And this thing about us was meant to happen. We were meant to be together."

"And I could have ruined everything."

"But you didn't." she ran her fingers through my hair. "You didn't, you didn't kill me, you didn't become Sidious' apprentice. You're a good man Anakin, a great father and an amazing, loving, supporting husband, never forget it. We're here and now we're a family, for real, and no one can ever say the contrary."

"Thanks for reminding me that. Sometimes I really need it."

"I'm here for this. It's one of my roles as your wife."

"Future wife, to be precise. And about that... since how things have developed, it's just a matter of signing a piece of paper, we can do it whenever we want it, we just need a couple of witnesses and an officer."

"What kind of officer?" I asked.

"Although we both don't like him very much, Antilles should work. But I can call Bail if you want. It would be a nice chance to tell him how Antilles manages the base and what he did to the Jedi."

"If he can come, yeah, why not?"

"Don't think he'll mind. It's not like he has much to do now at the Senate! I'll call him tomorrow, I think he's home now, on Alderaan. Maybe he can get here before you'll undergo surgery. It won't take more than five minutes, I assure you."

"Then tell him not to worry, I can sign even from my bed, in case he can't rush here."

"You sure? That way it won't be the most romantic experience of our lives."

"Who cares. It's just a formality. We've already had our romantic, lake-side, twilight-set wedding. And even if it wasn't valid, it was amazing. But I'm tired of flashy things. Not that I didn't appreciate the way you literally blew Antilles' head off but really, right now I just want everything to be quiet for a while. I've had enough of adventures and running up and down the whole Galaxy chasing a ghost. I don't want loud, I want quiet."

"I have an idea then. We wait until you are out of the hospital, able to walk around and ready to start physical therapy, we gather the kids and then fly off to Naboo. We won't do anything too loud, it will still take five minutes but at least my family will be there. I owe them at least that."

"That's an excellet idea. As always. And now that this is settled, I've got some questions too, then I swear I'll try to stop with the over-protectiveness."

"Guess they're about the risks Janu was talking about earlier, am I right?"

I nodded. "Yep. What was he talking about?"

"Well, as you said not too long ago, I'm not that young anymore. Biologically speaking, my body has surpassed that line that marks how safe it is to have a baby, both for the mother and the child. Pregnancy is always stressful for the woman's body, even for the healthier person of the Galaxy. We go through radical changes and sometimes those changes can hurt us. One of the most dangerous thing that can happen is high blood pressure, but that can be kept under control with a specific diet and drugs. Then there's the hormonal mess up, the fatigue, the stress... many things can happen and no one can really predict them. And then there's pre-eclampsia."

"Alright, the name itself is scary. What's that?"

"Something so scary I don't even want to talk about it, but don't let it distract you. Janu already set a tight schedule of check ups. First one is in two weeks. You happy now?"

I nodded. "I definitely feel better. But... is it really so dangerous to get pregnant? For you I mean?"

"There are always side effects. Some of them could be deadly. In any woman of any age or species. Pregnancies can kill, that's a fact. It's not that I'm going to have issues for sure, but Janu wants to keep a close eye on me, and I don't really mind at all."

"Hey, don't worry, I understand, and thank you for being so sincere about it. What I'm left wondering is how a trauma surgeon can be so prepared about this. It's not his field."

"I asked him the same. Double doctorate and specialization. Trauma surgery was his first love but he's specialized in treating wounds caused by war casualties, and it's not like Naboo has been at war so often! His mother was an obstetrician and taught him the basics of the job. Then he took a second degree. That's the story. He loves medicine as much as he loves his children. He takes his job very seriously."

"So I noticed..." I murmured. Damn, I was totally worn out and about to fall asleep. And Padmè was still running her fingers through my hair. I was a step away from purring like a kitten. "Wow... that feels so good..."

She kissed my forehead. "Sleep now, big boy. You'll feel better in the morning."

Sighing, I sagged on the bed, sinking a little more. "Alright... just stay here a little more, please."

"Don't even have to ask." she turned and turned off the light. "Love you..."

"Love you too." I whispered and followed her. She pressed her back to my chest and relaxed, letting sleep come over her. I dragged the linen sheet up from the tangle they had formed at the end of the bed and carefully covered her. As I did so, one of her hands grabbed mine and pressed it to her still flat belly. I closed my eyes and smiled, in the dark. "Love you too kid."

* * *

_Alright, here it is. Hope you liked it. I'm leaving for Slovenia in a couple of days with le boyfriend and some friends and I won't have much time to write. The story is almost over, I'll try to finish it as soon as I can. So... have fun and have a nice August!_


	38. Falling Farther In

**Chapter**** 38 - ****Falling ****Farther ****In**

When I woke up, at an undefinable hour of the night, it was a bit of a trauma.

Not because something bad happened, no way, those days were over (for a while), but because the way was waken up.

In the middle of the night, I suddenly heard a loud noise that woke me up with a start. I jerked awake, groaning my disappointment. "What the hell..."

The sudden movement woke Padmè too and she turned around to face me. "What?" she asked, her voice still muffled by sleep.

Then the noise repeated. The loud bang echoed in the room, and she smiled, burying her face in the pillow. "I knew this day would come, one day or another." she whispered, realizing what was going on the other side of the wall. The wickedness of her grin made me realize it too. And I sighed.

"Were we this loud last year?"

"Don't know. No one ever complained about it. Only Obi-Wan about the other day, but Luke and Leia never said anything about the noise."

"Yeah, I'm kinda good at making you shut up when you need it!"

She playfully slapped my cheek, as if scolding me for being inappropriate. "Shut it, idiot. You can be loud when you want to. Better, when I want you to be!"

"Don't even mention it!" another bang. This time louder. "Damn! At this rate they're gonna have another kid in a month or two!"

"They're catching up. As we did." she paused for a moment. "Still doing actually. But you're right. At this rate, with this kind of commitment, Hilean will get a sibling in less than a year."

On the other side, someone screamed. By the high pitched tone, we both guessed it was Aleha's work. Padmè and I burst in laughs, barely containing ourselves. "Make it a few months..." I gasped between fits of laughter. "Who knows how long they've been fucking!"

"I didn't really think Aleha was a screamer too." she stated, quite matter-of-factly. "I thought she was a little more quiet, you know..."

"You've got a rival for the title. And let me tell you that when I met you I never imagined you could be so loud, I mean... you were so uptight and engrossed with your role, no one could have ever guessed you're so wild, in reality."

"And no one outside of this room will ever need to find out. But now that you mention it... last night you promised something: are you up for round two?" she asked, half hiding behind the bedsheets, as if she felt ashamed of her request.

"You don't even have to ask..."

Needless to say, this time I didn't even care about making her shut up when needed.

And when, later in the morning, we met Aleha and Jax on their way to the room where the kids were still sleeping, I saw Aleha blushing. I nudged her with my elbow. "Had fun last night?"

Blushing even more, she lowered her eyes. "Sorry if we woke you."

"No need to worry. Just an advice: move the bed a couple of inches away from the wall. Not that we mind, but I guess you're planning to have Hilean sleeping in your apartment with you. No need to be heard by her too."

"We'll try... but really... I'm sorry. I don't know what happened yesterday."

"It's called sexual frustration. You've been piling it up for six years and you need to get rid of it. It will take some time." I told her, knowing all too well what they were going through.

She made a strange face, as if she wasn't really convinced. "How long did it take for you and Padmè?"

I shook my head. "We're still working on it."

The smirk that deformed her face was simply epic. "Oh great. What now?"

"Just fuck as much as you want. The only advice I can give you at this point is to not get caught by your daughter. It almost happened for us and I swear, it was so awkward I wanted to die and we weren't even naked. As for the rest... don't let anyone tell you what you have to do. And don't hold back just because you fear what people may think."

"Personal experience?" she asked.

I nodded. "Personal experience. Last year we tried to put a hold on ourselves but it didn't really work well. After a couple of weeks we were almost exploding! Just have fun. And whoever has anything stupid to say about that can go and fuck himself in outer space. OK?"

"I'll keep that in mind. By the way, totally off topic but how's your shoulder?"

"Hurts a little, but it's not bad. I really hope they won't have to work too much on it to fix it because I really want to get the kids' asses out of the base and off to Naboo for a while and I really can't do it with my shoulder still on hold."

"Everything will be alright, don't worry. But you really can't come home from an adventure in one piece, can you?"

"Apparently no. But I don't mind. It means that I did it!"

"In your own fucked-up world, maybe. In mine, it only means that you acted without thinking."

"Well, at least this time it wasn't my fault. Not entirely at least. But let's not talk about this stuff now. We've got twenty two kids to wake, dress, feed and train. And I have a surgeon waiting for me."

That morning went by so fast that I nearly missed my appointment.

Even if they had been quite a handful the night before, all the kids behaved perfectly that morning. As we helped the youngest ones getting dressed, the others did that by themselves, and even during breakfast they were simply perfect, helping each other like siblings.

They were nearly impeccable even during their morning exercise routine.

Time literally flew by and I only noticed it was almost time for my pre-op check up about five minutes before the given time. Without saying a word I burst out of the room and ran to the stairwell, dashing upstairs and not really caring if I ran over someone. I arrived at the infirmary in record time, completely out of breath and definitely sweaty.

Both Janu and Dr. Koros shook their heads when they saw me split in two by the short but exhausting run, as I tried to catch my breath. "Sorry..." I panted. "I almost forgot..."

"There was no need to run like that." replied Dr. Koros. "We heard you from the end of the hallway, even if you were five minutes late there was no need to run."

"My wife would have killed me if I arrived late. I wonder where she is though..." I said standing up. Janu gestured to come closer. "She said she would come too!"

"She called a while ago. Antilles' keeping her for administrative reasons. She'll come if she manages to disengage herself. Come now, let's get over with it."

Another run of more in-depth tests established the degree of the injury, apparently the worst SLAP tear Dr. Koros had ever seen in her career, and then I was ready to go, with a long list of instructions to respect for the surgery next morning. Lots of sleep, no further straining of the shoulder, not eating or drinking after midnight and an appointment for eight o'clock next morning. And those were only the first three lines.

Oh well, nothing I couldn't abide. It was only for a night, even if I was forced to go to sleep almost before the kids to go by the indications. But considering it was the last night in a long while that I could spend sleeping in the friggin' position I wanted, I enjoyed every minute of it, sprawled on the bed not even caring much about how much space I occupied. And considering how painful and uncomfortable the following month would be, yeah, that was the best way I could spend the night.

Next morning, after a quick shower and no breakfast, even if my mouth was watering with hunger, Padmè and I went upstairs to the infirmary, which during the past year it had become a real hospital with everything needed, and I was instantly admitted. I forced Padmè to go away and not wait out there all alone, considering how much she hated hospitals, then I let the medical staff take care of me. This time I reminded them how fast I adsorb and metabolize drugs so they could adjust the anesthesia and I wouldn't wake up, like I almost had the year before.

I was already on the table, with tubes and needles everywhere except my left arm, when Janu, dressed in scrubs, a mask on his face and gloved hands, walked up to me. "Hey Kid, how ya doin'?"

"Not too bad. Ready to be sliced open. I'm just a little worried for the convalescence. That's all. You already know what you'll do?"

He shook his head. "No. We'll see after we'll open. The procedure is not too different from the reconstructive process we've applied to your leg last year, we need to find the tear in the ligaments and the tendons, place the regenerating device and stabilize the whole thing, then close. But you never know what you will find in these cases. Don't worry though. It shouldn't take more than three hours to finish. Tops. Then we'll leave you under sedation for another couple of hours to allow the regenerator to start working and let you wake up on your own. Nothing different from last year. You might experience more soreness and discomfort though than last time. You ready?"

I nodded and I noticed the anesthesist approaching with an oxygen mask and a long syringe filled with a thick white liquid. "Yes, ready."

"Good. Sleep tight Kid, we're fixing you up!"

That's the last thing I remember. When I woke up, apparently seven hours later, everything was numb and confused. I was lying on the hospital bed, my left shoulder encased in a very tight bandage that prevented any kind of movement and locked into position with a special sling that circled my torso and went behind the back of my neck. It took me a while to realize everything of this, but when finally I managed to overcome the side effects of a very strong anaesthesia, I noticed that I wasn't alone in the room. The silent but always reassuring presence of Obi-Wan instantly made me feel a little better, since I was a little nauseated in addition of the expected soreness.

"Hello there!" he said once I noticed him. "How do you feel?"

"Groggy. Sore. Slightly nauseated. Could be worse. How did it go?" I asked, surprised by my clear voice.

"Apparently, it was a complete success. They told me you're incredibly lucky that you managed to fight with that shoulder in those conditions, but they mended it and it will be perfectly fine. Now it's up to you to take care of it with the due physical therapy."

"I know the drill, this time I'll be more careful about it. I'm surprised they didn't order a bacta bath!"

"There's no full immersion tank here. You're lucky, but the healing process cannot be sped up this way."

"Believe me, I prefer the natural healing process to the bacta. I'm all for tissue regenerators, but I hate bacta!" I sighed. "Where's Padmè?"

"Right outside the room, talking to Janu about your needs for the immediate future. And I think scheduling your follow up next month."

"Did they say how long I'll have to stay here?"

In that moment, the door opened and Padmè, Janu and Dr. Koros entered. "I think you can ask them." said Obi-Wan.

"Ask what?" repeated Janu. His deep, thundering voice echoed in the small room, and it made it seem even deeper.

"How long I'll have to stay here."

"Four days, just to rule out the chance of infection and everything. Then you're good to go home. We'll have to check on you a couple of times before we can give you thumbs up for the physical therapy, but we're sure you'll be able to reprise your normal life in no more than three months."

I let out a deep sigh and leaned back on the thick pillows, relaxing the already straining muscles of my neck. "Alright. Padmè, we have a date. We're getting married in four months."

And so we did.

Three months and a week later Janu gave me the green light to start physical therapy. That meant reduced hours wearing the sling, first awkward movements and some more freedom. I was finally self-sufficient again, totally able to take care of myself and even of my children. When I was on forced bed rest, considering the pain from the surgery and the tight bandages, I was completely incapable of doing much more than eat by myself. I had to ask for help every time I had to pay a visit to the bathroom because I couldn't get up by myself and even taking care of my basic needs was a very tiring process. As days passed though, the pain slowly fade away and I was given a short range of movement that allowed me at least to button up my pants. Not my shoes, but at least I could put on and off my pants. That was the first real improvement that came with time.

It hurt like a bitch, but when I finally started the physical therapy, all the efforts I had made enduring the pain were paid back with a nearly perfect shoulder.

I definitely felt better and after three weeks of exercises to rebuild the muscles and get back into shape, we organized the famous trip to Naboo, and finally the kids could see the sun.

At first, when we arrived, they were absolutely impossible to control. They were over stimulated, tired because of the trip and ecstatic because they were, for the first time in over a year, outside the base, free to behave like children. When they saw the lake and the small private beach, well, all our efforts to control them simply blew up like a bomb. They were just too many and too happy. We had to threaten them to not teach them how to swim to get them back in their ranks and get them to take their stuff in their rooms, which had been promptly prepared by Padmè's family, and down for their afternoon nap.

A couple of hours later, once rested and fed, they were much more inclined to listen to us adults and we attempted to take them down to the gardens. Padmè and I were forced to stay out of the games for obvious reasons, but it was an amazing show to watch them just being themselves. Being kids acting like kids.

But most of all it was absolutely wonderful watching Jax getting used to his new role. Once he had accepted the fact that the Rebel Alliance could indeed protect him and that he could finally give up his old life made of constant running away from anyone and everything, he settled pretty quick into a new routine made of teaching what he had learned with the years, passing his incredible ability in escapology to all the children that one day would be part of an active army fighting for freedom.

And of course he quickly learned how to be a father and a partner. Watching him interact with his daughter felt like watching a movie of the first few months of the year before. Specially one afternoon after a couple of days since our arrival. Most of the children where down for their nap. I was reading a couple of reports from the weapon research department of the base, one of the newly acquired perks of being Anakin Skywalker again, sitting in the wide veranda while doing some mild exercises for the shoulder when one of the doors opened and Jax came out of the huge house, carrying Hilean in his arms. Completely oblivious of my presence he took her to the decorated wall that circled the space and faced the lake. Once there, he set his daughter so she was sitting facing the water.

"Here we are." he said. "What do you want to do?"

"Can we stay here for a moment? Just you and me for a while?" she asked. I could barely hear her voice from my position, and I wish I didn't hear them at all, just to give them some privacy. Those were precious moments, I knew it all too well, and I didn't want to intrude.

"Of course we can sweetie." he took his time to admire the view in front of him. "It's amazing here." he said after some silent seconds.

She nodded against his chest. "It really is. Luke and Leia had told me it was really great, but I didn't believe them. I thought there could not be such a beautiful place anywhere."

"Hilean, you grew up in an underground base, you haven't seen the world, of course you couldn't believe them."

"I've been to Yavin IV a couple of times. And last year I came here on Naboo with mom and Senator Organa for Luke and Leia's birthday. You travelled a lot dad, what's the best place you've ever been to?"

"Oh let me think... that's a very hard question because I travelled a lot, that's true, but before the Empire I travelled mostly to battlefields. I went there with my Master, fought some battle droids and went back to the Jedi Temple or to the next battle. We didn't have much time for sightseeing. And after the Empire I was always on the run. But you know, if you like flowers and huge plants, Felucia is really a great place. I've one of the best dawns I've ever witnessed to there. But I have to admit that this place has something magical. It's... I don't know. It feels like home, even if I never had a real home."

"You had the Jedi Temple!"

"Yeah, I know, but... home is the place to go to feel better, to feel safe and protected. The Jedi Temple is cold, distant. One day I'll show you, that place is an amazing building, a masterpiece, really, but in the end it's just the place you go to sleep, you train and work to become a Jedi. Home is something different. To me, home is where you and your mother are. That's home to me. It can be here, or on Corellia or back at the base. As long as you're with me, that's home to me."

At first she seemed unconvinced, then, after a moment of deep thinking, she nodded and sank back against his chest, snuggling closer to him. He held her tightly against him and I felt a wave of deep happiness flow through the Force, radiating from them to the rest of the area. It was an amazing feeling, and I knew that Jax was just falling farther in love with his daughter with each day. Not only he was learning how to be a father, slowly and gradually, but Hilean was teaching him how to be a better man. He aknowledged it, some years later, when Hilean was already sixteen and his brother was eleven. If we hadn't come to rescue him, thirteen years earlier, he would have become one of the many gifted people out there who just sit around and hide, not even living their life because of fear.

I put the datapad down and rose from the chair, then silently headed back inside the house. I didn't want to intrude in their father-daughter moment. I knew all too well the feeling. Right inside the glass doors I found Padmè. It was like she was waiting for me. I took a deep breath and smiled. She was just...

I can't really describe her.

She was basking in the mid-afternoon light, the half grin she was wearing made her even more beautiful. It was now undeniable that she was pregnant even if someone didn't know, at five months now she clearly showed the sings, and she showed them proudly, with tight-fitting clothes, not like with the twins, when she had to hide it. It was like she was taking a little satisfaction this time, a little revenge on the old times when her position didn't allow to be who she really was.

"I thought you were upstairs." I said.

"I missed you and came down to look for you. Seems like I found where you were hiding!"

"I wasn't hiding. I received a report this morning and I was taking some time to read it while I was doing my excercises. I want to be able to stand up straight tomorrow."

"Which leads me to the real motive I was looking for you. Organa called, he said he will be here by mid-morning, so we can deal with the thing right before lunch. And considering how my mother and sister are working in the kitchen, it will be a real wedding banquet, with all the right stuff."

I leaned down and kissed her. "I don't really think anyone will complain about it. Most of all Obi-Wan, you know how much he loves your mom's dishes."

She made a weird face. "I know all too well. I think he gained some weight when we staid on Naboo right after the twins were born. He had to fight to put it off!"

"I can imagine! When I got out of prison, she cooked so much that I gained back my weight in two weeks! By the way, how's the baby?"

"It's fine. We're both fine. It was a little fussy this morning."

"Hiccup again? Wow, he's not even born and he's already a problem!"

"She's not a problem. And the twins used to have hiccups every day when I was pregnant with them!" she took my hand and guided me inside. "Don't worry, it's not like she's big enough to cause a problem at the moment. And if she'll continue with daily hiccups as months progress, well, I'll have some nasty heartburns. No need to worry about it!"

"Well, I really hope he won't cause troubles!"

In that moment, Leia came down the stairs rubbing her eyes. "Dad, still with that thing about the sex of the baby? It's a girl!" she snapped, clearly disturbed by something upstairs. "And before you ask me how I do know that, I tell you, it's a girl, I can feel it. We're having a little sister. Mom, can you look at my right eye please?"

Promptly, she led our daughter to the closest source of light and knelt in front of her. "Oh gods Leia! What did you do to your eye?"

"It itches! Do I have conjunctivits again?"

Padmè sighed. "I think you do. At least I packed your medicine. When did it start hurting?" she asked.

"It started itching after lunch, I went in my room to study a little and it got worse. I think it's because I rub my eyes often."

"I told you, you have to stop with that habit. Your eyes will never stop getting sick if you go on like that!" she sounded almost exasperated, but in reality she was only worried.

Silently, I went upstairs and fetched a new bottle of eyedrops for Leia. Oh well... family life.

Next day was everything but a quiet one. I woke up an hour before Padmè, did my morning routine of excercises, both Jedi training and physical therapy for the shoulder, and when I came back, Jobal and Sola were running all over the place trying to have it prepared for the arrival of a Senator. They just didn't listen to me when I told them that Senator Organa would stay only for the day, that he didn't need a spare bedroom ready for him and everything. Every single word I said fell to deaf ears, and when the time of the "ceremony", as they both called it even if it was only a matter of signing a form in front of him, came, well, they were hysterics, much more than Padmè and I were.

Not that we had reasons to be hysteric, in the end, we had already gone through all that stuff.

Actually, if there was someone who had the right to be very nervous, well, it was Jax and Aleha. Maybe I forgot to tell you, but right after I acquired mobility to my left hand, Jax asked me to make an engagement ring for her. I did pretty much the same stuff I did then night I designed Padmè's, only this time he got to choose between the different drawings, then he made it himself with my supervision. Then he asked her to marry him, and she accepted. They were going to sign the form too, and one day they'd get the whole ceremony like we did twelve years before, but for now, they had enough of making it official to the eyes of the Rebel Alliance. More than enough to suit their needs.

When Organa arrived and saw all the bustling activity at the house, he smiled to himself. But the best thing happened when he saw Padmè. "Hey, how's the bride to be?" then he saw her very pregnant form and stopped in his tracks. "Oh... wow... I see you're..."

"Yes, I'm pregnant. No, we're not getting married because he knocked me up and, yes, I'm fine. And I'm glad you're here. How are things in the Empire?"

"Pure shit, and excuse the word. Things to not look good, we've got massive issues and the whole new procedures don't help us fixing them. But at least today we can fix your problem, also I've had a nice chat with Antilles. He was one of my team, and I'm not totally pleased by his behavior. He won't bother you again."

"Thank you Bail, we've got a very big part of the Alliance growing up here, and they need some resources."

"Looks like you're actually building a whole new Jedi Order one child at a time! How far along are you?"

She smiled, blushing a little bit. "Five months."

"You already know the sex?"

"Nope." I said, interrupting them. "But Leia thinks it's a girl. We've decided to wait, that's all."

"Call me when it's born then. I'll come as soon as I can. Now... who's got a pen?"

It didn't take longer than that. Four signatures, double copy, and we were officially married, at least at the eyes of the Alliance. Exactly what we needed. No more.

It was enough. For now.

But we all knew that the best was yet to come.

* * *

_Alright__, __nice __little __filler __here__. __I __needed __to __cover __the __time __lapse__ someway__, g__ive __some __credit __to __the __whole __getting __married __again __thing __and __kick __Antilles__' __ass __some __more__. __I __knew __it __took __a __long__, __long __time__. __Long __even __for __my __tastes__. __The __thing __is__... __well__, __my __mom __died __last __week__. __In __the __end __all __the __cures __failed__, __her __liver __stopped __working __and __six __days __ago __she __passed __away__. __At __least __it __was __quick __and __I __think __painless__, __considering __the __amount __of __morphine __she __was __given__._

_Anyway__... __I__'__m __fine__. __I__'__m __incredibly __fine__. __I __feel __better __than __I __have __in __a__long__, __long __time__, __way __before __the __whole __cancer __thing __started__. __It__'__s __just __that__... __I __didn__'__t __have __much __time __to __write __in __the __past __month__. __Now __I__'__ll __move __back __with __dad __at __the __old __house__, __the __one __I __left __when __my __parents __divorced__, __and __the __whole __moving __thing __will __take __some__time__. __Don__'__t __expect __such __a __juicy __chapter __like __next __one __to __come __so __easily__, __it__'__s __gonna __be __a __tough o__ne__. __There__'__s __a __Skywalker __that __needs __to __be __presented __and __I__'__ll __try __to __do __it __with __all __the __honours__._

_By __the __way__, __I __have __to __inform __that __this __chapter was __written __once __then __cancelled __an d__re__-__written __while __I __was __doing __one __of __my __famous __movie __marathons__. __It __started __with __The __Rocky __Horror __Picture __Show__, __freshly __purchased __the __Bluray __Edition __and __I __can __tell __you__... __it__'__s __amazing__. __Then __I t__was __time __for __Moulin __Rouge__!, __just __because __you __know__, __some __more __music __can__'__t __hurt__. __And __then __The __Avengers __for __the __laughs__. __That__'__s __it__! __Have __fun __guys __and __wait __for __the __big __one__! __It__'__s __coming__! __Love __ya__!_


	39. I Cannot Make A Single Sound

_Alright, first and foremost, I have to confess that the first part of chapter 38 is sort of autobiographical. Things like that happen, sometimes. Better making fun of them. Second, I'm sorry it took so long to post this chapter but I wanted to make it as good as I could, and that took a lot of time. Third, thanks to all of you for your thoughts. With that said, let's start right away!_

* * *

**Chapter 39 - I Cannot Make A Single Sound As You Scream**

When people used to tell me that there are circumstances when you can literally feel the time passing by like something you can actually see, feel or touch, I never believed them. I never thought it was possible to feel time like a physical thing. As a Jedi, used to the concept of the Force, to me time was a similar concept: intangible. You can feel its presence and influence, but you can't actually feel it. Only their effects are measurable.

Well, the last couple of months of Padmè's pregnancy were the special circumstance those people were talking about. And it wasn't a feeling I really liked.

I'm talking about the last two weeks.

During those fifteen days I barely slept through the night. I was so nervous I was always on edge, no matter how many times Padmè tried to reassure me that everything was fine and that except for some minor back ache she felt perfectly good and that the baby was apparently too comfy to get out anytime soon. Still I was overworried and terribly nervous. And she could barely stand my frantic behavior.

I knew it was stupid, behaving like that. I acted like an idiot and it only made me feel worse because that made Padmè nervous, not about the labor but about me. She didn't really think I could handle the pressure and one night, right after I had put the twins in their beds she told me about it, quite frankly.

"Anakin, you can't really go on like this. If you are this nervous now, I don't really think you'll stand the pressure of the real thing!"

I sank on the couch and sighed. "I know. I just... I've never..."

She nodded. "I know. You've never been through this. I have, I know how it feels and what to do. And I admit that you're somehow cute when you're nervous, but seriously, it's not good for your health. I don't want to have you sedated because you can't take some nervousness and go hysteric!"

"Hysteria is not my thing. I tend to wait until I can't take it anymore and vomit when I'm too nervous."

She pushed the chair away from the table and gingerly stood up. "One more reason to not let you in during labor and delivery. Don't worry, when the moment will come, you won't be alone. Obi-Wan and Darrick have already done it, even if they weren't actually the fathers, but they know how it works."

"And how long it takes." I mumbled, folding my arms across my chest. I was in the mood for some brooding.

"Don't worry, it won't take as long as with the twins. And it won't take too long before this one arrives too. Couple of days, maybe less."

"Really? How do you know?"

She sat down beside me and snuggled closer, giving me a shrug. "A feeling. Don't ask why. I just...feel it. And I have the feeling we're having a girl. Always had, since the beginning."

"You know, I'd kind of prefer a girl. Luke's already enough trouble."

"Oh yeah, you said something about it, some months ago. Ouch... hey there kid, slow down a little bit. No need to kick like that!" she murmured to her belly, slowly caressing it to calm the baby a little bit. "Yep, this baby is coming soon. Maybe sooner than what I had thought. She doesn't have much room to move in anymore."

"Alright, then it's time for mom to go to bed then." I said standing and picking her up. She giggled as I walked to our and set her down on our bed. "There you go. Sleep now, since we can."

"What about you?

I headed out of the room. "Just turning off the lights here. I'm coming, don't worry."

In fact, it didn't take me long to fall asleep, after so many days of insomnia, well, I needed it, even if I tended not to sleep so deeply. I woke up quite often that night, well, the three hours I managed to sleep, before...

"Anakin?"

Padmè's voice roused me. "What?" I mumbled, still laying down. I don't even remember if I had opened my eyes.

"Don't freak out but... we need to go upstairs. I think it's time."

It took me a moment to realize what she was talking about, but when I did, I wasn't upset, at least not by the news itself. "Oh... alright.." I drowsily stood up and turned on the light, wincing when it literally pierced my eyes. "Just give me a moment to get dressed. How do you feel?"

"Right now, not too bad. Contractions are still quite far apart and I waited to see if they stopped on their own with time, but they've been going on for two hours now. We've got to go upstairs."

I nodded and buckled my belt then donned a random sweatshirt I found somewhere in the room. I was strangely calm, it was strange even to myself because I was damn sure I would freak out no matter what from the very beginning, but I was fine, at least for the moment. "OK. I'll call Janu and ask Ashoka if she can keep the kids. Can you get dressed on your own?"

She nodded. "Sure. Go and call, I can take care of myself." she laughed as she sat up on the bed. "It's not like this one is going to get here in the next five minutes."

"Five hours maybe?" I asked punching the buttons on my comlink to call Janu. I waited for twenty seconds maybe before he picked up.

It seemed like his voice came from the underworld. "Don't tell me, Padmè's in labor, right?" he groaned.

I swallowed, hard, suddenly put in front with the fact that my wife was going to give birth to my child in the span of a few hours. She had the great idea not to use the word _labor_, that had helped me keeping calm enough not to freak out. Now I felt the panic rising from the pit of my stomach. "Yes, you're right"

I heard some noise on the other side as he got up from his bed. "OK, I'll wait you in the infirmary. I guess she's not that advanced, so no rush. Take it slow, OK? See you up there." then he briskly closed the call and I called Ahsoka. In less than two minutes she was at the door. "So it's time, isn't? You ready?"

"I was before Janu mentioned the word _labor_. Now I'm wrestling with panic. Do you mind staying here with the twins?" I asked.

"Don't worry. Hey Padmè, you alright?"

She was standing on the doorstep of our room, already dressed and ready. "Ask me in a few hours. But right now I feel rather fine. And thanks for the favour. We'll find a way to pay you back."

"There's no need. I've called Aleha to let her know, I hope you're OK with that."

She nodded. "Sure. I would have called her myself once settled, so thank you. Now I think we should go."

"Sure. Go now. What do I have to tell the twins if they wake up?"

We hadn't talked about that. Don't know why but we had figured that the baby would have arrived during the day, so they would have been awake. Well, it's not like we wanted them to witness their father panicking like a schoolboy before a very important test. Not exactly a formative experience.

"Right... I think the best thing to do would be telling them what's going on and pray they won't wake until the baby is born." said Padmè. "And now we need to go, really. I don't really want to have this baby here."

Less than ten minutes later Janu had everything already settled. For the moment, things were going slow and smooth, enough so that Padmè was still letting me stay in the room with her. She wasn't exactly happy about my presence, but still allowed me there. I knew she didn't want me there, for my mental health most of all, but for now, I was allowed to stay there. But she was ready to kick me out anytime. And Aleha was there to help her getting me out. We met her in the hallway on our way upstairs. She had arrived before us, as if she had run there.

"Can I ask how did you arrive here before us?" I was curious, so after a time I asked her.

"I was awake, preparing the training program for the kids, when Ahsoka called, all I had to do was waking Jax to warn him. That's it. He's taking Hilean to your place so Ahsoka can watch her too, then he'll come here too. He won't come in, but he wanted to come. I also warned Darrick, but he won't be here for a couple of hours more, he's out on a task for Lysveet."

"For Lysveet?" asked Padmè. "What did she need?"

"I didn't ask, but I heard her talking about building a new server to use as a proxy but she did not have all the hardware. Maybe he's gone finding those components."

"Maybe... oh gods... it's getting worse every time." she groaned after a contraction. And I can tell you, she was hurting a lot, by the way she crushed my hand with hers. And not the prosthetic one, to be precise.

After that, Janu rolled his chair back until he was visible through the doorstep. "Six minutes now. At this rate, in three hours you'll meet that baby! Hope you already have a name, because three hours are not such a long time to choose one."

"Don't worry, I have one for each. In any case, be it a boy or a girl, I have the perfect name." I said. I was quite proud of my choices, I have to admit it.

"You let him choose?" asked Aleha."You trusted him about something like this?"

"I chose the twins' names, the least I could do was letting him name this one. And believe me, he chose two beautiful names."

"Are they a secret or we can know them?" asked Janu, still in the other room, apparently very, very curious about it.

"No, not yet. We will all see when this one is born." stated Padmè.

"Not even if I tell you the sex of the baby?" he continued.

"Don't you dare! We decided to wait and we'll stick to that decision. It's not like we'll have to wait for months now!"

He groaned, loudly. "Alright, alright, I'll shut up. And you're right, you won't have to wait so long. Come on, let's check you out."

As Janu stood from his chair, Padmè pushed my shoulder. Hard. "Get out."

"What?" I asked, quite stunned.

"Get out of here. I'm about to cross the line that marks the change from myself to my very angry, swearing, blasphemer alter ego. I don't want you to see me like that. Get the fuck out or I swear you'll never have sex with me again for the rest of your life. Clear?"

And with that kind of threat, I was taken aback for a moment, before Aleha walked around the bed and dragged me out of the room. "You'll call me if you need anything, will you?" I asked, just before I stepped out in the hallway.

She nodded, evidently straining to hold back. "Yeah, don't worry, I'll call. But don't count on it." she just wanted me out of that room as soon as possible.

Aleha shook her head and pushed me out. "Get the hell out of here daddy, you'll have plenty of time to stay with her after this is all over. Come on Anakin."

Out in the hallway, Jax was sitting in one of the chairs of the waiting room, with three disposable cups beside him. Silently, he handed me one and waited for me to sit down beside him, before he grabbed one. "Cheers mate. Obi-Wan is coming down too, in case you wanted to warn him."

"Cheers... and thank you for calling him. And for the coffee." I downed two long draught and sighed. "Alright, if I felt bad in there, now I feel worse."

"Because you can't see what's going on?" he asked. He was still half asleep, I could hear it in his deep voice.

I nodded. "Yep. I just don't... I don't know what's going on. I don't know, and not knowing something I think I should know always sets me on edge."

"You want to know what's going on?" asked Aleha, leaning on the wall beside the door, right in front of us.

"Yes, I would really like to know what's going on in there!"

"I'll tell you what's going on. They're waiting. Up to now the contractions are quite far apart, but they'll soon become closer and closer together as her body gets ready to give birth to your baby. That's it. For the next few hours it will be a matter of waiting. She just wants to save you the terrible experience of seeing her in pain and not being able to do anything about it."

"And because she really gets gross when she's in pain." Obi-Wan's voice came from the entrance. "Really, you don't want to see her like this. For your own safety, stay the hell away from that door. Don't even think about barging in as soon as you hear her scream."

He sat beside me so I was sandwiched between him and Jax, who handed him the third cup.

"I don't want to hear her screaming..."

"You shouldn't have knocked her up in first place then..." joked Aleha.

"Excuse me if just one time I was too busy to think about getting a condom! And too far away from our stash, to be sincere. And before you tell me how stupid I am, believe me, I've been telling myself the same thing for a month after we found out she was pregnant, OK?"

"Padmè would beat the shit out of you for just saying that." replied Obi-Wan. "You're not stupid. You just forgot to use a condom. Both of you! She could have stopped you to tell you about that but apparently you were too involved in what you were doing. It's not like you tried to kill her!"

"Great choice of words Master. Really!" I mumbled.

"Yeah, I know. Worst comparison ever but really Anakin, you're taking it too seriously. She's in labor, you're gonna have a baby. It's the circle of life!"

"I just hope this will be the last one. We're already messy enough with two kids, with three it's gonna be a disaster. I don't even know how to take care of a newborn!"

Jax shook his head. "Neither did Padmè when the twins were born. It's one of those things you learn to do as you go. You told me that, months ago."

"Exactly." said Obi-Wan. "It's not going to be a disaster. We're here to help. And don't even try to say you'll be a terrible father because it's not true."

In that moment I felt a strange sensation in my lower back. A sudden tightening in my muscles. It wasn't nice. I straightened on the chair and tried to set a little bit more comfortably but it wasn't easy. And the thick silence that had fallen upon us didn't make it any easier.

And when the previously announced screaming started, it was even worse.

Most of all because the strange sensation down my back had become a very strong intermittent pain that made me wince every time. No, actually, it took my breath away, for real.

I was nauseated too. Pain and nervousness didn't work too good for me.

I just sat there, totally unable to speak a single word for I don't know how long, while on the other side the only sounds we could hear were Padmè's heart-wrenching screams. And as she screamed, I felt like I was being ripped apart from the inside.

We were silently waiting for any news, until Aleha stood. "I'll go ask how things are doing." she said, before she opened the door and disappeared inside.

"I think I'm going to throw up." I said when the door closed with a loud hiss.

"There's a bucket over there." stated Obi-Wan.

As silent as his wife, Jax stood and went to fetch it. He threw it in front of me and it landed with a loud, metallic noise. I ran my fingers through my hair and leaned forward as on the other side Padmè screamed at the top of her lungs.

"Anakin, are you alright?" asked Obi-Wan. "Physically, I mean."

"No. At all. I feel like someone's stabbing me in the back." I replied, still trying to catch my breath.

When Jax was about to speak again, Darrick decided it was time make his entrance on the scene, dashing down the hallway and stopping, nearly tumbling down to the floor when his boots slipped on the shiny, smooth floor of the hospital wing. When he regained a sort of composure, though out of breath as much as I was.

Right behind him, Lysveet was walking towards us, with a fresh supply of coffee on a tray in her hands. I felt a lump forming in my throat. Now the whole gang was complete, ready to witness my total undoing for too much stress. I pinched the bridge of my nose trying not to think about it but it was almost impossible. That's when another loud scream came through the wall and I jumped up from the chair, bolting upright as if someone had really pushed a white-hot blade through my lower back.

I groaned as the pain forced me to double over and lean heavily on the wall in front of me to stand up, otherwise I would have fallen on the floor like a boneless puppet. "What the hell..."

"What was that Anakin?" asked Jax, quite worried.

I stood up and stretched my back. The pain had gone away as suddenly as it had come. Out of nowhere. I didn't understand, I'd never had that kind of problem with my back, at least not so nasty and painful!

"I don't understand... I've been feeling this pain in my lower back for... I don't now, a couple of hours now!"

Then Aleha came out of the room. "You're having sympathetic labor pains." she simply stated. "And before you ask, everything is going just fine in there. Padmè's fine, the baby is fine and it will soon be over."

"Then why the hell is she screaming like a wounded rancor?" I asked, sitting down again.

"Because your wife's body is literally ripping apart to push a baby out of her. And it's painful. And it's scary. Scary like you don't know if you're going to take it. Like you don't know if you're going to be a good mom or if your baby will be healthy. She's scared. Even if she's gone through this already, she's scared to death. And nervous as hell. That's why she's screaming. And apparently, you're experiencing some of her pain on yourself."

"How?" asked Lysveet.

She shrugged her shoulders. "Don't know. Sometimes it happens. The male feels some of the pain of his partner during childbirth. Some think it's a psychological side effect of bonding, I think it's just the Force." she answered. "The more you're attached to your partner, the more likely you'll experience something like that."

With that, I reached for the bucket in front of me and proceeded to dry heave inside it. The nasty taste of stomach fluid filled my mouth while I retched. Not much came up, but it was still terribly unpleasant.

"Damn Anakin, you're really feeling bad if you threw up!" commented Jax, patting his hand on my shoulder. "You're really whipped!"

Aleha smiled. "Shut up Jax, you'll be in his place in seven months."

Silence fell again in the waiting room and all the attention was focused on her. "What?" snapped her brother.

"She's pregnant, dumbass!" I groaned, retching a little more in the bucket.

"But... when did you find out?" he asked again. He seemed more excited than the actual father.

"Three days ago." it was Jax that answered his question. He folded his arms across his chest and smiled towards his wife. "We were just keeping it for ourselves for a while longer."

"Well, nice way to tell us." I said, standing up straight. "Padmè and I knew this would happen sooner or later. Considering the amount of sex you two had in these months..."

Aleha suddenly turned as red as a Sith's lightsaber. "What? How do you..."

I put the empty bucket down and sagged against the back of the chair. "Guys, really... you would have to sound-proof your bedroom not to be heard. You really have a problem, you can't be so vocal all the time!" I poked them. "You Aleha should have a damn sore throat all year long considering how much you scream!"

"By the Force Anakin!" snapped Obi-Wan. "You could have spared that!"

"Hey, they make fun of me, I make fun of them. They've been waking me up in the middle of the night for months! I wonder how the hell they didn't manage to get caught by their daughter!"

"Alright but it's... it's gross to say the least." he went on, definitely not happy about my remark.

"Master, really, get used to this. People have sex, and when said people live right beside other people and their bedrooms share a wall, it's fatal, they're going to hear each other. And make fun of each other for the rest of their life." I said as another... labor pain struck my lower back. The pain was slowly creeping forward, towards my abdomen. I didn't like it. I winced when I felt it again, but it was a more controlled reaction, even when I heard the customary scream.

"The fact is that I don't want to know about it, that's what I meant. As long as you want to talk about it among yourselves, no problem. But don't count me in."

I was about to say something when another very, very painful muscle spasm hit me. Hard. I leaned forward and tried to control it but it was way stronger than the rest. It was starting to subside when I noticed that this time there was no scream to meet it. What the hell was going on?

Before I could ask, the door opened and Janu came out just enough to grab Aleha by the hem of her Jedi robe and pulled her inside. And the door was closed again. Not a word, not a yelp. Nothing. He didn't say a single word. He just grabbed her and pulled her inside.

And outside, we were once more silent as a tomb.

"The fuck just happened?" asked Jax. His wife was literally kidnapped in front of his eyes by the doctor that was taking care of my wife while she gave birth to our baby. I know, it doesn't make any sense, no matter how many times or how loud you repeat it. It doesn't make sense even if it happened the same some months later, only with the roles switched. Janu grabbed Padmè, and I was the one being all smartass over a very nervous Jax who was waiting for Matt to be born.

Obi-Wan grabbed my left wrist and took a look at the watch. "We've been here for three hours. I think it's time for the real deal."

"Like he grabbed my sister because he needed some help?"

He nodded. "Remember when Hilean was born? Padmè helped quite a lot. I wonder why he didn't call her in earlier."

"Because Padmè wanted to be sure there was at least a woman with you guys." said Lysveet.j

"And that means?" asked Darrick.

"It means that up until a couple of days ago I didn't know if I would have all the stuff I asked you to get so I could work on the new proxy. It's a process that could take some work and a lot of time to build and program, so Padmè asked Aleha if she could take care of you guys in case I couldn't be here. She said that during your trip finding Jax she realized how much the presence of a woman makes a bunch of guys more controllable."

"Really? What did she think would happen if she left us here by ourselves?"

"Anakin would have freaked out way worse than what he did, Jax would have mocked him until he would explode. Darrick would have helped him and I would have been here trying to pick up the pieces of your limbs that Anakin would have cut off your body." stated Obi-Wan.

At that Darrick sat down. "Yeah. You're probably right. We don't behave too good when we're alone, do we?"

"You're a bunch of wild boys. You never grew up. That's the problem."

As you can guess, the next thirty four minutes weren't exactly a bluemilk run for me. The knowledge that it was happening for real and that I couldn't be there even to show my support was killing me, eating at my guts from the inside, as if I had drunk a pint of battery acid.

I knew I wouldn't have been really that helpful. I know that, it's just that I wanted to be there, in case she needed anything. Even just a hand to hold in a bone-crushing grip. I didn't care if she broke every bone in my body, I could deal with the pain. What I couldn't deal was the uncertainty. My right leg was trembling so hard that I had to school it so my foot would stay glued to the floor someway, and even if I put all my efforts into trying to calm down, I wasn't really doing a good job.

I mean, my wife was there, mere meters away from me, screaming in pain at the top of my lugs literally giving birth to our child and I was there, sitting next to one my best friends and my old Master, trying not to freak out like an idiot, not making a single sound.

Even when the sympathetic labor pains struck me, and they were really, really bad in that moment, I was completely silent. I doubt I even felt the pain in that moment. I was really going on just... just because.

The problem was that it was taking a long time. When Padmè had told me that it wouldn't have taken so much time as with the twins, I wasn't really thinking about more than four hours. It was getting close to 2 AM, and not only I was nervous, I was also tired.

I let my head lean back on the wall and drew a deep, shaky breath. "I really hope it will end soon." I murmured as another scream pierced the thick silence once again. It made my skin crawl every time. It was sickening.

Obi-Wan glanced down at his watch. "No more than a few minutes left I think. It's almost done, don't worry."

"How do you know?"

"Been there, done that." he said. "I was in your place with the twins, with the difference that we weren't in a hospital, but at home. It made it even scarier."

Another long, tensed moment of silence followed. No one was in the mood for any kind of chit chat, and silence was something we were all comfortable with, so we settled for it, until all the Jedi in the room suddenly tensed, like me. The Force stirred, twisted and turned for a long moment then suddenly fell quiet again.

"You felt that too?" I asked, a little startled by that strange feeling I suddenly had, and thar apparently all of them had.

They nodded. But no one spoke because another heart-breaking scream interrupted them.

It was different though, not only the Force had shifted around us, but also her screaming had changed. We soon knew why.

A tiny, angry, barely audible shrill followed, and when I heard it, I felt like a hige weight had been lifted from my chest.

It was over.

The Little Skywalker, as Ahsoka called it, was here.

And I didn't know if I felt like crying or laughing.

The tiny cry repeated, stronger and angrier this time, while Obi-Wan and Jax roughly patted my back, apparently talking to me but I couldn't hear them. All I could hear was that tiny angry cry that barely made it through the thick walls and door. My child's cry. The first of a long series of cries that would keep me up all night at times.

I grabbed the bucket I had used before as I felt a strong and sudden wave of nausea hit me like a wave. I tried to push it back but failed and retched again, the little that remained in my stomach emptying in the steel container. Fortunately it didn't last long and I felt instantly better.

"Here." said Darrick handing me a glass of water. "Drink this before you pass out for dehydratation."

I blindly grabbed the plastic cup and emptied it. I put it on the floor beside the leg of my chair, considering that the trash bin was unavailable. "Thanks..."

A minute later the door slid open and Aleha appeared on the doorstep with a bundle of pale green medical sheets.

"Stay there." she ordered when I gestured to stand up. "And sit down, I don't want you to fall down right now. Ready to meet your daughter?"

It was a girl. Leia had been right all along, it was a girl. I fought back the tears, with laughable effects, and sniffling I nodded.

She took the few steps that separated us and knelt in front of me. "Here we go daddy!" she said. "Here, hold her head up in the crook of your elbow and your forearm beneath her. This way, exactly."

She weighted less than nothing. She was so tiny I could almost hold her in my palm. At the time only her head and hands peeked from the bundles of soft cotton she was wrapped into, but it was all I needed to see. A tuft of blonde, wet, fine hair adorned her head, forming a loose curl on her forehad. Her eyes, even if she kept them closed most of the time, were dark brown like her mother's. I did that stupid thing of counting her fingers, and later her toes, and I smiled like and idiot.

All the time I held my breath and watched her in pure awe, as if she was the most beautiful thing in the universe. And she was, for real.

She was squirming a little when Aleha placed her in my shaking arms, making some extremely cute gurgling noises, clearly unhappy to be teared away by her warm, safe place, but after a moment or two she fell silent and looked straight up at me: her eyes had the same ability to capture my attention as her mother's, even if she was only minutes old. In that moment I knew that everything had changed in me, once again, and that I had fallen head over heels in love with her. She had me wrapped around her tiny pinky finger with a brief, single glance upwards, and now that she's fourteen it's the same.

"Hi Lena..." I whispered. "Welcome to this messy family!"

She made a strange noise that sounded like a short laugh, but I knew she was too young to do that.

"So it's Lena?" asked Aleha.

I nodded

"Yep. Lena Skywalker. That's her name."

"She beautiful Anakin... " murmured Darrick, on the verge of tears himself. "She's... damn, she's the cutest thing I've seen in a while."

"Wait a few days and she'll be even more. Now she's all messy because of labor. We'll see how she looks in a couple of days." said Aleha. "Come on, this little princess needs to be taken back to Janu so he can check on her and clean her up a little better." slowly I handed her the baby girl, and it felt like I was giving her my soul. "We'll be back in no time. And I bet daddy wants to see mommy!"

"How is she doing?" I asked, wiping the tears from my face.

"She' s exhausted, but she's doing remarkably well. She wants to see you now though, if I were you I wouldn't keep her waiting."

"Is everything alright? I mean, everything went well or were there complications?"

"Everything went nice and smooth, really, a bluemilk run. Now go, so we can get this one ready and you can spend some more time with her."

I nodded and after taking a last gaze at my daughter before Aleha left her in Janu's expert hands for her first check up, I went inside.

The room didn't look any different than three hours earlier, only it was clear that the bedsheets had been changed. Padmè looked more than exhausted as she tried to put her long curly hair in some sort of rational order with an elastic band. When she spotted me, she stopped her efforts for a moment and smiled. Even like that, with the exhaustion and the mess of giving birth, to me she was the most beautiful woman in the universe. She finished with her makeshift hairdo and laid back on the thick, puffy pillows behind her back.

"Hey daddy..." she sighed. She looked and sounded exhausted.

"Hey mommy..." I whispered leaning close and kissing her. "How you doin'?"

She suppressed a giggle. "I'm tired and I desperately need a shower. But adrenaline will keep me running for a while longer before I'll fall asleep like a rock. Have you seen her?"

"Yeah, Aleha let me hold her for a moment before taking her away for her check up. Does it sound weird that I think she's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen?"

"No, not weird, just a little sappy, but I can forgive you. But you're right, she's a tiny beauty. And you? How are you doing?"

"I'm tired, ecstatic, I feel like I'm drunk though all I drank since I woke up was strickly non alcoholic and my back hurts like hell, but I'm glad everything went well."

"Yeah, Aleha told me about your sympathetic labor pains. Don't ask me why but I think it's hilarious!"

"The others did too, most of all Jax, he couldn't stop mocking me all the time. Personally, I don't care much. My pain threshold went up a notch since the recovery for the shoulder surgery. No big deal. I'll be fine."

"Have you already named her?"

I nodded. "Yes. Lena, as we had decided. Seems like the others liked it. Listen, do you mind if I steal some of your water supply?" I asked, pointing at the four bottles of water and the two cups sitting on the bedside table.

"Do as you please. Can you pour a glass even for me?"

"Sure. You know, I really should try to control the nausea I get when I'm nervous. I can't throw up every time something stressful happens!"

"Oh gods, again?"

"Twice. Jax was being all smartass about how whipped I am and Aleha shut him up like only she's capable of doing. By the way, have you heard the news?"

"That Aleha is pregnant? Sure, I was with her when she made the test." she replied, softly. "You'll have the chance to make fun of him in the span of some months."

"I don't really want to do it. Gods, I can't really believe it. She's here, for real."

She ran her hand through my hair. "Yes daddy, she's here, and now you'll have to learn a couple of things about her"

I nodded. "I know. Now starts the craft of the father. With the twins, I admit it was easier, with them being so grown up already, but now..."

"It feels real, right? It feels different. And it's scary, I know. You'rea dad now, again. And this time from the beginning. You'll see her grow up so fast you won't believe it." she could calm me even in that kind of situation, she was really extraordinary.

"You think I can do it?"

"I'm sure. You are an amazing dad already. This is just a step more. And you won't have problems taking it."

The door opened suddenly and Janu barged inside, sporting a huge smile as he held Lena. "Alright, I hereby declare that this little girl is in good health and has two titanium lungs. She's doing incredibly good and in a couple of hours she'll be hungry as a rancor."

He handed her over to Paldmè, and she carefully took her in the crook of her arm with a knowing gesture that showed all her experience. She was definitely at ease with her. "Here you are little girl..."

Lena squirmed a little bit before she relaxed with a happy sigh. I dared to touch her tiny hand and she slowly grabbed my finger and held it tightly. I tentativbely hid a smile behind my other hand as she wiggled her hand, but it didn't work much, because I started crying like a kid, and this time there was no self control to make me stop.

"Now that's something I wish you wouldn't do..." she started, sniffling a little. "Because if you cry then I cry and we'll never get out of this!"

"I just can't... It's too overwhelming... It isn't just about Lena. It's the Force too... I really... I can't even explain it." I wiped the tears away, but they kept falling like a waterfall and I couldn't stop them. "You must think I'm an idiot but it's just too much to take. I'm a sap, I know."

"Anakin, you're not a sap." said Aleha."You're a father. That's all. Darrick cried for a good hour when Hilean was born and he's only her uncle. Just enjoy this time before she starts crying like a wounded animal because she's hungry."

In that moment the door opened and Jax peered in. "Guys, there are a couple of kids who want to know their little sister..."

* * *

_Finally, done! Next one is already half written, so... it shouldn't take much to write. Then the epilogue, so... Red Rain is almost over. Time to finish my plans for Last Of The Runaways!_


	40. Never Let Me Go

**Chapter**** 40 - ****Never ****Let ****Me ****Go**

I couldn't believe it. I swear I just could not set my mind to the fact that Lena was born. It seemed like the other day when I asked Padmè to marry me again and she confirmed she was pregnant, and now, after a hellish, sleepless night, there she was, sleeping in her plastic crib beside Padmè's bed. They were both resting after the pain and fatigue of labor and I didn't want to wake them, so I just sat there, holding Padmè's hand and with the other one gently caressing my daughter's palm.

She was so tiny... I could almost hold her in my hand. I didn't know newborns could be so small. She looked so fragile, like she was about to break in a thousand pieces but I had heard her scream her lungs out and I can tell you, that little creature knew how to scream, how to be sure someone could hear her. Something she inherited from her mother, I guess...

Hey, mind out of the gutter Skywalker...

I... I couldn't take my eyes off her. She was just... perfect.

It was the only word I could find in basic, huttese and toydaran that could describe her, with her spiky blond hair, now clean and dry ans all raised on her head like a mohawk, her tiny fingers wrapped around my pinky and her still wrinkled pink skin. She slept peacefully, for now, no doubt she was exhausted too, wrapped in the soft pink blanket Aleha had brought up from her apartment, Hilean's blanket when she was born. I had promised myself I would have bought one for her, a little memory of her first days in the galaxy.

With everything Padmè... better, Padmè and I went through the years, I had really come to the conclusion Luke and Leia would remain our only children, I even had accepted it and come to terms with it, and now everything was different. I took a look at them, sleeping soundly, tucked under a thick wool blanket, against each other on a portable cot Janu had brought in when they fell asleep about an hour after they had met their little sister, and couldn't help but think that I had been blessed with the greatest opportunity of all: to live my life and see all the best it could get me. And I intended to live it as fully as I could.

Anakin Skywalker was back, and was now in a total moronic state, completely wrapped around his three hours old daughter's pinky finger. I couldn't help it, I was just mesmerized.

Even if I hadn't personally assisted her birth, and thank the Force Padmè had forced me out of the room when things got nasty because I was so nervous I was sure I would have fucked something up, I felt it, through the Force, and it was amazing. I never thought I could experience such strong feelings all at once. And that kind of pain too. I was dealing with the aftermath of the so called sympathetic labor pains and it was horrible. Really. Anyway...

And when Aleha had placed her wiggling form in my arms... I thought I would faint. I couldn't take it, it was just too much, all at once.

And even now that I had her right in front of me, that I could see her, hear and touch her, I couldn't believe it. Lena was finally there with us.

I felt the surge of tears rising up from my chest again. I felt so numb in that moment that it was like moving underwater. I... I just couldn't...

Yeah, I just couldn't even process the fact that from that moment on I had three kids.

If I though back to the very beginning, when Padmè had a sort of realized what was going on and that she was pregnant, and the way I had reacted, I couldn't think anything but the fact that I acted like a complete dumbass. Definitely not the better moment to drop the bomb but, really, I should have showed a little more enthusiasm. Alright, a couple of days later I sort of exploded with joy but a little more enthusiasm in the beginning would have been appreciated.

I looked up at the wall clock just above the door and shook my head. Barely five thirty in the morning. I was dead tired but still I couldn't sleep. My brain just wouldn't shut down!

I was going on hyperdrive and nothing could stopped me. Probably only a literal blow to the back of my head, but nothing else I think. I was terribly awake, oversensitive and overstimulated. And my back hurt like hell for the long hours on that terribly uncomfortable chair. I needed to do something, but most of all, I needed to move a little from that spot.

Slowly, trying not to wake anyone, I stood and stretched my back. It popped and cracked a couple of times as I did so. Yes, my back was all fucked up. I wasn't even thirty three years old yet and I was all fucked up. My right leg hurt like hell, and damn sciatic nerve you couldn't pick a better moment to remind me of you existence. I had been fighting with inflammation to the sciatic nerve for years and yes, it hurt a lot.

Still moving slowly and limping a little I walked towards the door. I took a moment and turned around, looking for a long while the sleeping pair in front of me. I can't find the words to describe the scene even now that Lena is now a teenager. How is it even possible to describe a feeling like that? That sense of pride and fear that infuse your very soul when... well, when you assist to a miracle. Because that was a miracle, from my point of view. She was my second chance. With Luke and Leia I had been incredibly lucky, and yet unfortunate, because I had a great relationship with them that grew stronger as days passed, but I had lost everything before I met them. On the other hand... Lena was... she was a fresh start. A chance for me to learn how to be a father from scratch.

But fathers need caffeine sometimes, most of all if they couldn't sleep and they needed to be wide awake in case anything happens. So I was heading to the cafeteria hoping to find it open so I could sneak in and brew a cup.

"Anakin?"

I turned around and saw Padmè wiping her eyes, drowsily. I had probably waken her up when I moved. "Hey, you alright?"

"Sure... tired and hurting but fine... where are you going?"

"Just grabbing a cup of coffee. Don't worry, it won't take long, and Lena is still sleeping. I'll be back before you realize it. Sleep, Angel... I'll be back."

She nodded and closed her eyes. I stayed there until she fell back to sleep, not a minute later, then I walked out. When the door closed behind me I leaned back on it and rubbed my eyes, trying to be at least presentable. In the last few days I hadn't slept much, I was too nervous to sleep more than a couple of hours each night, and the sleep deprivation wasn't helping me in that moment. I realized that I had completely forgot to shave too and the stubble itched a little. As soon as I could get a free half an hour I would throw myself under the shower, change clothes and shave. But not now.

Priorities. Coffee break was on top of the list, then I had to go back in their room to watch over them for the rest of the night. Or early morning. I had no intention of leaving them all by themselves even if Janu kept telling me that they were both fine, healthy and perfectly able to remain alone for some time. After all, Padmè knew how to take care of a newborn, she had already been through it.

But I hadn't. And I just wanted to be there for everything. I had already lost those moments with the twins, I wouldn't let them pass again with her. And I didn't care much if it made me look like a stalker or whatever.

When I walked into the cafeteria I noticed I wasn't alone. Behind the counter, one of the new recruits, a very gifted pilot called Jane Kobb sat at one of the stools, reading the newest edition of the local newspaper. A steaming cup laid on the bar beside her. When the door closed she lifted her eyes from the newsholo and smiled. "General Skywalker! I didn't expect you to come down at this hour!" she said.

"I didn't even went to bed technically. I think I slept a couple of hours I think. Is that coffee?" I asked, sitting in front of her after taking a cup from the closet behind the counter.

She nodded towards the pitcher not too far from us. "Sure, freshly brewed. Help yourself." she paused long enough to allow me to pour a cup and let me add some sugar and a tad of milk. "I don't want to be nosy but, why are you here? You were not listed on the on-call officers available for tonight."

"I could ask you the same thing Kobb, but I'll answer your question first: truth is, my wife just gave birth to our daughter!"

"Well, congratulations General! Finally some good news!"

"Please, call me Anakin. We're both pilots, and you're in my squadron. No formalities here. And thank you! Now your turn: what are you doing here? At this hour?"

"Waiting for a cargo. I just woke up an hour early and here I am, having a very early breakfast while waiting for the signal. Feels like the old days at the police academy."

"You're a cop?" I asked, stirring the dark liquid to cool it a little.

"Well, I was. First Corellian Recon Team for two years, Vice and Homicide for four years. Then the Empire came and blew all your planet hierarchy to hell and when I dared to ask why I was put back on patrol, I was fired. So, here I am. I used to fly our special forces squads in and out drop zones, and I was one of our best chasers, in case of fleeing suspects."

"I noticed. You're a hell of a pilot, that's why I wanted you in my squad, six months ago. What's in the cargo?"

"Don't really know. I was told to wait for it and see if it was all in one piece when it arrived earlier today by Master Kohr. Darrick, I mean, I haven't seen Aleha today. He told me I was the best for the task, given my history. And I'm waiting. Sometime insomnia can be helpful, you know."

I downed the contents of my cup and nodded. "Hell if I know, I've an insomniac for most of my life. Right, I'll leave you to your readings, I've got a family to take care of. Take care Kobb, it was nice to see you."

"Same here Gen... Anakin. And again, congratulations for the newest addition. Take good care of her! And try to sleep for a couple of hours."

"I will, don't worry. See ya!" I walked towards the door then turned around. "By the way, her name's Lena."

"Lena. My sister is called Lena! I always loved that name! Now go General, or I'll have to kick you out myself!"

As the door closed behind me I sighed. I needed some sleep, definitely, but right now it would be impossible. The Force was still in turmoil, and that didn't help me, but it didn't bother me that much. I had other stuff in mind. And the cargo Jane had talked about... I was curious to know what kind of delivery needed to be supervised by someone like her. Not that I did not trust her, but I was puzzled by Darrick's decision to let her take care of an incoming cargo. Oh well, those questions could find an answer once the sun had risen. In the next three hours.

As quickly as possible I got back to the infirmary and opened the door. Everything looked like when I had left, Padmè was still asleep and the twins would be out cold for some more time too, but even from that distance I could see some movements in the crib. Slowly I approached it and looked down: Lena was awake, beneath the soft blanket. Her deep dark eyes were curiously looking around her, even if blocked by the confinements of her crib. I took the chair and silently placed it beside her. I sat down and took her tiny hand in mine, holding it between my fingers.

"Hey Cricket! You're already awake!" I whispered. And before you ask, yeah, I still call her Cricket even now that she's grown up. She likes it. The sound of my voice caught her attention and she looked up at me. Her eyes were still a little hazy, as if she was sleepy. "I thought you would sleep for hours after everything that happened to you!"

No response. Not that I was expecting one actually, but at least she was looking up at me.

I swear I could just spend the rest of my days staring at her, and be happy with that. She was indeed perfect in every tiny detail. She wailed again, softly and wrapped her hand around my pinky. "Seems like you really like this finger, don't you? Oh well, do as you please."

Another noise, this time louder. I hoped she wasn't hungry again because it would have killed me to wake Padmè up again. I decided to try and take some chances and pick her up, hoping she would settle down and fall asleep again. If there was a thing I knew about babies it was that they need a lot of sleep. Like most of the day.

Slowly, like Aleha had taught me, I slid my hands beneath her and picked her up, settling her in the crook of my left arm, so she would lay on my healthy arm. "There you go Cricket! I hope you're comfortable there!"

Her eyes looked for the source of the noise she heard and I felt her tiny body strain a little before her right hand grabbed a fistful of my shirt and she settled down with a sigh. I dared to run a finger over the shell of her ear and she looked like she liked it. Or maybe it was simply the physical contact that she wanted and liked. Well, after all she had spent nearly nine months always in contact with her mother, no wonder she liked to be held and touched.

Her skin was still a bit wrinkly but her color had settled for a healthy shade of pale pink instead of the bright red of her first moments. Her weightless body was sagging in the crook of my arm and against my chest, totally relaxed as I held her. I tried to comb her spiky hair but it just stuck up like a tiny furry arrow. She took a deep breath and sighed again as I rested my open palm on her chest and belly, careful not to crush her, and listened for a long moment at her short breaths. One of her hands jerked towards mine and I let her grab my pinky again. She was tiny, but she was strong. For real.

"You know that I don't have the faintest idea of what to do with you? I mean, I know how to deal with your brother and sister, but I was wondering how you will be when you'll be as old as they are. You look like a troublemaker." I told her, without raising my voice too much. "You have the face of a troublemaker. And sure as the Force you have enough lungs to be heard on the other side of the galaxy. And when tomorrow Obi-Wan will run the test to see your midichlorian count, we'll have a confirm. You're a pea-sized punk. I know I'll have my hands full with you, one day. I just don't know what I will do."

She yawned and a tiny drop of saliva trickled down her chin. Smiling, I wiped it away and when I unconsciously touched her lips she started suckling on the tip of my finger.

She was hungry. Maybe. At least I thought she was hungry, but my untrained eye did not see signs of distress in her, she was calm and apparently happy where she was, but more likely she didn't know what it meant to be hungry, so she just waited. And I waited with her for her to start crying like a wounded animal for her mother.

So we just stayed there, waiting for the events to come, staring ag each other. Getting to know each other.

I was completely enamored with her, I had literally fallen in love with her. She was indeed one of the best things that ever happened in my life, along with her mother and her big siblings. She was everything that meant something to me in that moment.

And I felt like a total moron. She had me in her hands. I would do anything for her, no matter what she asked. She wanted the world? I would give her the galaxy as a whole. She was my little princess, my second chance. In that moment, with my fingertip clutched in her hand, she held my life. And she could dispose of it as she pleased.

Falling in love had never felt so good. There was no pain this time. Well, not for me at least.

I swear that for a moment I thought that she was speaking, but then I realized it was just the Force swirling around us that spoke for her. It felt like she was asking me to never let her go. Like a whisper in my ear, along with the now ever-present drumming that filled my mind anytime of the day and night.

"Don't worry Lena, I would never let you go."

"I would never think you'd do that."

Padm's voice caught me off guard and startled me a bit, with Lena mewling her discontent as a result. "I thought you were asleep."

"Just woke up. Seems like you're holding your bearings with her. She's quite calm with you."

"She's just easy to handle now. But I have the feeling she'll become a scoundrel when she grows up."

"How just great! You're usually right with your feelings, I doubt she'll turn out much different."

Looking down at her and I chuckled. "I'll tell you a secret. You remember Han, that guy that helped us some time ago. Be prepared, somewhere in time we'll see him again. And Leia won't be unaffected by his passage."

"Wait a sec, that guy is way older than Leia..."

"You're five years older than me and no one ever said a thing. And I didn't say he'll arrive tomorrow! Don't worry about that, just be prepared."

She sighed. "Alright... Gods, it didn't hurt so much a while ago..."

"Want me to call Janu?"

She shook her head."No, don't worry. It's supposed to hurt, I've already been here, in this place. And the other time was way worse."

"The other time you had to give birth to two babies, this time it's just one"

"And thank the Force for that. I know it would have been a one of a kind occurrence, but when Janu confirmed I was pregnant, I asked him to do an ultrasound right away just because I feared I was expecting twins again."

"That would have been a disaster. We're messy enough as we are now, and Lena just makes our precarious balance even more on the edge."

"We'll make it work. And she already has all of your attention, I couldn't ask for anything else now. You two just look so good together!" she sighed. "You know, when the twins were born, I really wished you could be there. I knew you were away for a good reason, but I was egoistical enough to demand your presence there. And seeing you now, holding here, I have the feeling that you would have looked at Leia the same as you look at Lena."

"She's got me the same moment I laid my eyes on her. I don't know, I have this feeling..."

"I know. I know. Don't worry. You feel like you won't ever be able to let them go. And judging how my mother acts around me and my sister, we will never be able to, let them go. And I think it's just normal for parents."

"Oh well, in that case... By the Force... I'm tired as hell."

"Come on, let me hold her. By the sounds she's making, I think she's hungry"

Carefully, I placed Lena in her arms. She didn't like too much the change, but I guess that the fact she was about to be fed would only please her. In fact, as soon as her soft wails became more insistent, she was promptly satisfied. To Padmè, and possibly to Lena too, it was the most common thing in the Galaxy, but I still had to get used to the whole new package of stuff to learn and witness.

I was pretty much in the dark of everything related to the care of a newborn, but I did catch the sigh or relief that Padmè exhaled as soon as the little girl started nursing.

"Hey, you alright?" I asked, a bit preoccupied.

"Yeah, it's just... well, breastfeeding is not all cuddling and simply let the baby do the work, it's not so easy. Sometimes babies don't know how to feed and it can hurt. Luke had some issues the first few days and he got me all worried because I felt he wasn't eating as much as he needed to, also, Leia was eating at least twice as much as him, but fortunately he caught up with her. As you can see now. I was worried she could have the same issues her brother had."

I nodded, no need to say anything. She knew what she was doing. "How much sleep will you be able to get from now on?"

"Not much actually. At least, I won't get much sleep if you don't help me a little."

"Hey, I'm here, I'm up for the whole package, dirty diapers included, I told you that long ago!"

"I know, but you can even take care of this aspect."

"So you can catch some sleep? Of course I can." problem is: I didn't know how. "Just tell me how."

"Ask Obi-Wan. He was the Champion of baby formula when those two were kids. Apparently, I wasn't good enough at preparing it. He didn't do much around them when they were newborns, but he knew how to prepare their bottles. Ask him and you'll be able to take care of her in a minute. Just... keep a couple of bottles in the fridge, ready to be warmed. You'll be fine."

"Are you sure? You're talking to the official trouble maker of the Jedi Order, are you ready to let me take care of her?"

She smiled and wiped a trail of drool that had been forming in the corner of Lena's mouth. "I am sure. And you're more than ready to take very good care of her. You care too much about her to let her down in any way. You said it yourself, you'll never let her go. And she will never let you go."

"I hope you're right..."

She shook her head and when Lena pulled away from her, she settled her against her shoulder, letting the baby girl adjust to the new position. After a moment of not knowing what to do, Lena just settled there and relaxed. Her ability to adapt to new situations was astounding, I could sense her feelings through the Force and every time something changed around her, she adapted so quickly I envied her. I took a deep breath and tucked the blanket around her a little better. Her tiny foot was sticking out of it and the room wasn't exactly the warmer place in the base and I didn't want her to be cold.

"I don't really understand why you ask me if I'm sure about your ability to take care of a child. Just look at you! How can you even think about doing anything wrong to her, or to Luke and Leia?"

"I don't know Padmè... it's just... sometimes I look at them and I think about what Dalan told me, about possibly being the product of the Force manipulation by the hands of one of the most powerful Sith Lords in history. That's what makes me fear I won't be a good father to them. Or that I maybe have passed them those traits that make me so close to the Dark Side. I don't know. Maybe I'm just overworried about it but... I feel like I'm always on the brink of ruining it all."

"Well, let's just wait and see how it goes OK? By the way, your comlink's being beeping for five miuntes now. I think someone's calling you."

I took the beeping device out of my pocket and sighed. "I know. I've been willingly ignoring it all along. I don't really care much about what Darrick has to say in this moment, you know, I've got better things to do."

Balancing Lena on her shoulder and keeping her up with only one arm, she grabbed my hand and smiled. "Anakin, come on, we're here, we're fine. I know you want to be there for her any moment, but the moment she burps she's going to fall asleep again and I'm going to sleep with her. You can go. Darrik's been awake most of the night too, if he's calling you, that means he's go something big for you."

It was my time to shake my head. "You really want to get rid of me don't you?"

"Nope. I just saw you limping out a while ago and I think you need to stand for a while, or your back will suffer and you'll be complaining for days. Go, I can take care of her while you're gone."

Defeated, I sighed and stood up. "Alright, you won. I'm going. And if you need me, for anything, just call. I'll come back."

She gently pushed me away from her bed. "Go dumbass. If you don't mind I would like to have some mother-daughter time, since you already had your father-daughter time!" she said. "And you were right, you're a sap. She's got you wrapped around her finger, you won't stand a chance when she'll be holding up a grudge because you told her to go to sleep when she wants to stay awake."

"I fear the moment that day will come. I think I'm gonna try with a Mind Trick to make her drowsy. Anyway, I'm going. You two have fun! I'll be back as soon as I can!"

Going out of that room physically hurt. I felt something stinging, like a little flame burning in the middle of my chest, like the metaphor some writers love so much about the heart breaking because something bad happens. Well, I knew it wasn't literally my heart breaking, but... well, you know what I mean, I already told you like a thousand times.

Anyway, once I was sure I wouldn't disturb anyone, I called Darrick. He picked up a moment later, and his voice was all numb with lack of sleep.

"Hey daddy!" he tried to sound cheerful but he was clearly tired as hell. "Finally you picked up!"

"Yeah sorry but... I couldn't hear the comlink." I lied but, well, who cared.

"Don't worry. Just come down in the cargo hold. There's a person here that would like to see you."

"Alright, I'm coming." I closed the call and pushed the comlink in my pocket just in time to see the doors of the elevator close in front of me. I pushed the button and waited for the run to end, and I was quite tempted to hijack it and take the long way through the cafeteria for another cup of coffee, but I was awake enough to hold on for a couple of hours more and went straight to the cargo hold. When I opened the door I was greeted by a small crowd... trying to hold Jane Kobb, the pilot from my squad, from... hitting Ferus Olin!

My ex-friend Ferus Olin, the only Jedi I've ever met that willingly resigned from the Order and... went undercover in the Inquisitorius and protected Jax as best as he could. And Jane Kobb was trying to... beat him?

What the hell?

"Hey hey Kobb, get down and calm a little bit OK? What's going on?"

"Ferus Olin is currently wanted for questioning and possibly incrimination on Corellia for the murder of five men, which he allegedly committed four years ago! He can't stay here, he's dangerous!" she snapped once Jax had released her.

"Wait a second... you're telling me that... you were investigating on a crime and all the evidences lead to him? To Ferus?" I don't know if I was slow because I was tired or just because I was overloaded, but in that moment, the whole think seemed like a big joke.

"Yes, when I was promoted to Homicide, my first really big case! He fucked everything up when it turned out he was an agent from an Imperial Agency. And he got away with it!"

"I didn't fuck anything up and it wasn't me! I didn't kill those men, I was framed by a rogue colleague!" he defended himself.

"Oh come on! Why would anyone need to frame someone like you? Inquisitors cannot be arrested for murder, framing you was the most stupid thing ever!" she shouted.

"And that makes me guilty? What kind of cop are you?" he shouted back. The tension in the room was palpable.

"A cop that makes her work and knows how to read evidences! There were physical traces and electronic evidences that put you at the crime scenes at the time the murder was committed for all five assassinations! You call that a coincidence?"

"By the Force's sake stop that! You harrassed me for weeks four years ago and now you start again? Grow a pair, admit you screwed it and shut up OK?"

"Hey no one talks to my men that way. Or women. Ferus, calm down. Jane, stop that. We can settle it like educated people and not shout like wounded rancors here! Also, if you keep shouting like this I'll get a headache and after tonight I think no one wants to see me with a migraine. Understood?" I yelled above their voices. They immediately shut up and looked at each other as if they were going to jump at each other's throat in a moment. Most of all Jane.

There was resentment between those two, that was clear, but around them, the Force felt a little strange, as if there was something more than hate. Yep. There was more. But that wasn't the time to investigate in that sense.

"Alright, now that's better. Now come with me. We've got a lot to talk about."

"Definitely." Ferus sneered a little and followed me out of the cargo bay towards the elevator. Once inside, he dared to break the silence. "Excuse me if I as but... what happened tonight that you're so worried about getting a migraine?" he asked with a slight sarcastic tone.

I shook my head. That guy hated me with all his heart. And I could't blame him, since he had to resign from the Order because I fucked up a mission and had another Padawan killed, when we were teenagers. "My wife gave birth to our daughter. That's what happened."

* * *

_Sorry __it __took __so __long__. __I__'__m __sorry__, __really__, __but __you __know__, __moving __out __a __house __into __another __can __be __tricky __and __takes __a __lot __of __time__. __Anyway__, __hope __you __liked __even __this __one__. __I __had __the __original __idea __in __March__, __there__'__s __the __screenshot __of __the __original __conversation __I __had __with __a __friend __about __it__. __This __is __a __bonus __chapter__. __It __wasn__'__t __planned __initially __in __the __story__, __but __I __decided __to __give __it __a __shot __when __some __tim__e __ago __I __got __totally __obsessed __with __Florence __And __The __Machine__'__s __song__ "__Never __Let __Me __Go__", __hence __the __title__. __Hope __you __liked __it__, __see __you __at __Christmas __for __the __epilogue__!_


	41. Here And Beyond That Horizon

**Chapter**** 41 - ****Epilogue****: ****Here ****And ****Beyond ****That ****Horizon**

Oh well... life does go on.

The first few weeks with Lena at home were a total hell, at least for me. It wasn't exactly the most relaxing thing in the Galaxy, at all, but I extremely nervous everytime I was around her. She wasn't a nervous girl, she was calm and quiet, even too much sometimes, but I always felt like I wasn't good enough, even when I was simply holding her.

When she looked up at me with her dark eyes I felt like I wasn't enough for her. As if I could not be a father good enough for her, even if she was the most wonderful kid I had ever seen. Not that I had seen many newborns, but hey, she was my kid, she was special to me. Now that sounds like Luke and Leia and... well, like they're not as special as she is to me, but you know what I mean: she was my first time as a father right from the very beginning, to be there right from the start, for every step, every bump on the road.

I missed her first steps, the first ones she took all on her own and not holding on furniture or anything else, but at least I was there for her first word, for the endless nights with gas pains and her first day of Jedi training. I helped her with her homework, told her bedtime stories (and most of the times, Padmè wasn't exactly happy about it, because they tended to make her more excited instead of sleepy) and other stuff.

We were a happy growing family with an overly nervous father, a cut-the-anxiety-crap kind of mother, two wonderful ten year old kids and a baby girl that was everything a parent would want in a child.

And other families grew, because as Aleha had predicted, when Lena was about seven months old it was my time to poke and make fun of Jax while his wife was giving birth to his son Matt. I wasn't as cruel as him, because I knew all too well how he felt, but I had some fun too. The main difference was that while Lena was born at night, Matt was born a little after noon, so all our kids were wide awake and they were with us. And with all the kids, I mean all the twenty three kids of the base. Biological children and younglings altogether.

The crowd was quite cramped in that hallway, I can tell you that.

But that aspect of our life wasn't the only going and changing.

The arrival of Ferus Onlin in the Rebel Alliance had brought some new blood into our ranks.

With his contacts and his work right inside the "agency", if you can pass the term, created to look for us and annihilate us, he made sure we were even safer than before.

Right from the beginning, he was placed at the head of our _location__scouts_, people whose job was simply go around the galaxy and look for new places to build bases and safe houses or warehouses. He knew of places we would have never imagined or thought about for building those assets. He gave us hints about remote planets in the Mid and Outer Rim, but apparently there were suitable places even in the Core Worlds, a big part of the Galaxy where we didn't have any kind of support.

One of the biggest assets he brought to us was Hoth.

And while it was one of the greatest places we've ever bult, it was one of the most hated ones too.

That place was so cold tears literally froze in your eyes, and I had to spend six weeks there, leaving the rest of my family on Dantooine, coming back just in time for Lena's first birthday.

During those weeks, Ferus and I were forced to stay close.

I wasn't exactly happy about it. And neither he was.

During the first few cays of his stay on Dantooine, before he started going up and down doing his job, we had to face it: we couldn't stand each other.

He was still that insufferable teenager he was when we were kids, fifteen years before. And to him, I was still the insufferable teenger I was back then too. Fair enough. Too bad he was still convinced that after so much time and after so many things that had happened to both of us...

I tried to make him understand that I had changed. It didn't work exactly as I had expected, he was too convinced I was still the same.

Well, I let him think what he wanted. We didn't really have to work together every hour of every day. If we didn't have to stay in the same room for more than the time necessary to exchange infos about our areas of work. He had almost nothing to do with the pilot squads, he was a whack with ships and anything with a steering wheel and an engine so... as much as I had nothing to do with public relations and location scouting, which was his area of expertise, but being both generals, we had to attend to all the high-ranking officers meeting, and while most of the time we managed to be peaceful and civil but there were some occasions when we couldn't really hold back all the spite that seethed between us. Those meetings ended up bad. One actually ended up with us brawling right outside the meeting room door. He gave me a black eye and I broke his nose, and the first week after the brawl were tense in the base, but nothing else happened. Well, we discussed and argued more, most of all when he dragged me to Hoth for six weeks in revenge for the broken nose, but we were more civil.

I have to say that when the news of the brawl broke in the base, I received an e-mail from Jane thanking me for doing what she couldn't do back when she was working in Homicide back on Corellia.

Oh, I almost forgot! With some time and some poking and prodding, I managed to promote and make Jane advance to the rank of Captain, and that meant she had her own little squad, specialized in dangerous and emergency missions, like picking up stranded soldiers after the increasing actions we were taking against the Empire. And she was the best in that kind of stuff. Like she was born to do it, and do it good.

The only problem was the fact that she had to work with Ferus, but they managed to be much more civil between them than I could. Jane Kobb has the patient of a Jedi Master, I tell you.

Anyway, a couple of days after I returned home from Hoth, and fortunately for me it was one of the hottest day of summer on Dantooine, which allowed me just to enjoy the heat for a while after six weeks of snow, snow and more snow, it was Lena's first birthday. Padmè had organized a little birthday party for her, with the kids and all our friends.

At first she was a little scared by all the chaos around her. She was a shy girl, tended to climb at our legs, but after a while she acclimatized and behaved good. Great actually, playing with the other kids, even if the youngest one was four years older than her, and accepting the small presents that came for her birthday. Nothing much, we were trying to avoid to spoil them. Most of all we didn't want to make our biological kids different from the others. They also got little presents for their birthday, but nothing special and mostly useful stuff, like new clothes, maybe a book... things like that. Lena got a couple of toys and some kid's stuff. She enjoyed the plushy Bantha Obi-Wan gave her and the old, battered doll that Leia had when she was little, and that she gladly gave up to her sister. Luke was a little more inventive and built a device that would follow her around everywhere she went, tracking her progresses and always telling us where she was. There was always a parent close enough to keep a close eye on her, but you never know.

After the party, she was dead tired. While we were going back to the apartment, she was swaying ahead of us, following Luke and Leia and giggling, trying to stay awake. When Padmè put the twins in bed, I took care of her bottle. As she grew, Lena got used to a bottle of warm milk before going to bed. It helped her sleeping through the night and relaxed her just enough make her easier to handle when she as a little fussy about going to sleep. She liked to stay awake, she knew she lost a lot of life around her when she slept and tried to fight it as much as she could, nothing we couldn't handle, but sometimes the afternoon nap was a little war we had to fight with her to make her sleep at least a couple of hours.

I was sitting on the couch in the tiny living room with Lena peacefully sleeping in my lap, her head on my chest and her mouth partially open. She had fallen asleep halfway through her bottle, as tired as she was. Her curly blonde hair were a mess on her head and covered her face and her fists clutched at my shirt, as if she didn't want to be let go. She always did that when she was tired.

And she had grown so much while I was gone... and I admit it missed me off a little bit. More like a lot, actually, but at least I had lost only six weeks, not eight full years. It wasn't so bad in the end.

When Padmè returned and closed the door behind her, she stopped and looked at us from there. "Feels like a little bit of a deja vu."

"Yeah, sort of. Only this time, she's one year old and not eight." I replied, pulling Lena's curls away from her face. She sighed in her sleep, but didn't wake up. Getting her ready for bed would be a little difficult, but I loved holding her like that. "Also, my left leg is intact this time."

"That makes it even better." she sat down beside me and took the half empty bottle from my hand. She looked at Lena and smiled. "Wow, she was really worn out!"

"Yep. She didn't even fight it. She was nursing her bottle and then fell asleep like this. I wasn't brave enough to wake her."

A moment of silence followed. We could hear the twins talking in the other room, like they always did before going to bed. Lena breathed softly, deep and noisy. Not like snoring, still noisy. She was so cute!

"So, she's one now. How does that feel, with everything that has happened?"

"You want the truth? It feels great! I'm sorry I lost those six weeks but Ferus really wanted revenge for that nose."

"Oh don't worry about that. she wasn't even hard to take care of. Not as the twins at her age actually. So you say it feels great..." she paused for a moment. "Are you ready to do that all over again?"

* * *

_E ce la fa! E la finisce! Pure questa! Yuuuuu huuuuuu!_

_Happy New Year guys! It's over! I finished Red Rain! Good God! I finished it! I thought I would never see this day, not after everything that happened in the last 21 months. With everything that happened with my mom, moving out and everything... I finished it! Yahoo!_

_Guys, really, thank you for all the support, all the reviews, all the clicks, the favs, the follows and everything! Special thanks to my boyfriend that allowed me to write even when we were together (and those who know me know that I'm in a LDR), to Alessandra that was literally written in the story along with her boyfriend (and that will come with me to London to see Peter Gabriel next October), to Valeria and my dad. Also I would like to thank all the artists that helped me write this... thing, from Peter Gabriel to Panic! At The Disco to October Project to... oh well, to everything I listened through this journey, the movies I've seen that inspired me, most of all thanks to Quentin Tarantino for creating Hans Landa that inspired me the character of Sahn Dalan (get it? Hans Landa... Sahn Dalan... anagram...). And thank to every person that sort of inspired me that I forgot. Really. If you want the playlist for the story, with all the songs that inspired me, well, send me a message through twitter! I'll answer as soon as I can! Love you all!_

_Now off to write Last Of The Runaways!_


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